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Stories

What Luna Sees by Northumbrian

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Does Ginny have a serious rival?
Who is the most fancied bloke in the DA?
What Lunacies happen at Christmas?
This is Northumbrian of Ravenclaw House realising that this long planned story scrapes into prompt 3 (Operation Mistletoe) of the Great Hall-iday challenge, and that my story title is an even worse pun than the challenge title.

The MacGuffin Hunt by Inverarity

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Draco has one key to Helga Hufflepuff's Three Lock Box, and Harry has another. Harry and Pansy both have a brilliant idea, and it doesn't involve teaming up to find the third because that wouldn't be as amusing.

Love Potion Lessons by goldensnidget92

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Hermione and Ginny want revenge for a prank that Harry and Ron pulled on them, and Hermione thinks she has the perfect idea...

This story includes a dollop of love potion, a sprinkling of cheesy romantic cliches, and a generous splash of incredibly embarassing memories for Harry Potter and Ron Weasley.

Polyjuice Puzzle by goldensnidget92

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: It is a year after the legendary events of the Battle of Hogwarts, and Harry and Ron have discovered that life in the real world isn't half as exciting.

This leads to the rather unfortunate idea of using Polyjuice Potion to switch lives for a day, resulting in much hilarity and two very sticky situations, after which the two boys never see each other in quite the same way again.

This story was nominated for a Quicksilver Quill Award 2012: Best Humour Story

The Knitting Alternative by Misdemeanor1331

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Stuck in the Manor and bored nearly out of his mind, Draco Malfoy hatches a plan of questionable legality to acquire some company.

The Revenge of Mark Evans by goldensnidget92

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Mark Evans, one of Dudley's many victims, is a wizard. A wizard who wants revenge for the months of suffering Dudley Dursley put him through one summer before he attended Hogwarts.

This is part of the Court Case that dealt with the apparent acts of Muggle-baiting that he committed, with statements from Mark Evans and Dudley Dursley; and from the witnesses, Petunia Dursley and Harry Potter.

Warning: includes general silliness, sickly language from Petunia Dursley, and one allusion to strong language.

This story was nominated for a Quicksilver Quill Award 2012: Best Humour

Drive Your Car On by hestiajones

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: When Vernon Dursley starts acting like a prat, Hestia Jones begins rapping on him, Missy Elliot style.

Winner of the MC Kreacher Challenge at Poetry Anyone (MNFF Boards). Rap inspired by and written to the beat of Missy Elliot's Get Ur Freak On, which I love to bits.

DISCLAIMER: Do you really think J.K.Rowling would write this, though?

Supergran! by KarasAunty

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary:

Neville Longbottom is about to be measured for his first set of Hogwarts' robes when Gregory Goyle's father makes the mistake of insulting him. And in front of his grandmother, too ...

NOTE: Contains one (mild) sexual reference only.

Crookshanks's Tale by ginevra715

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Hermione may not know it, but her cat is leading a life of his own within the walls of Hogwarts. Does he just chase Scabbers for sport, or is there more to the tale?

Two Halves by KaleidoscopeKate

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Fred and George, in all of their irresistible sexiness, decide to ask out the Patil twins, but the date is a flop. Years later, two half-sets of twins remain alive and begin a reluctant friends

Is Draco Malfoy a Git? by Northumbrian

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: This important question needs to be answered. Reputations are at stake.

Peeves and the Blue Fairy by FenrirG

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: "I want to be a real boy!"

A modern-day twist to this classic wish leaves Peeves the Poltergeist with much more than he bargained for. Thrown suddenly into life as an eleven-year-old boy, the former ghost must live in Hogwarts as a first-year student. From some good old-fashioned Filch baiting to a run-in with the giant squid, our hero has a whole host of challenges awaiting him--and the only person he can rely on for help is a very ill-tempered Blue Fairy...

Written by FenrirG of Ravenclaw for the "What You Wish For" prompt of the Spring Challenge.

Severus Snape and the Meeting of the S.L.O.T.H. by rbyanes

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Severus Snape meets with a group of deceased Slytherin whose view of history does not quite jibe with actual history.

Engorgio! by armagod679

Rated: Professors •
Summary: Roger Davies is the second-handsomest boy at Hogwarts. But he has the best looking girl as his date and will go anything to impress her. Unfortunately, that's not so easily undone...

What's in the Third Floor Corridor!? by Sainyn Swiftfoot

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary:

BREAK-IN AT GRINGOTTS: ENOUGH ABOUT THE CRIME, WHAT ABOUT THE VAULT!?

What was in the vault numbered seven hundred and thirteen (it's not spotted earmuffs, for sure)? Who took it? What do Knumples and Flimmers have to do with all of this? Did Lord Voldemort die because of trying to breed Heliopaths with giants?

Xenophilius Lovegood believes that sleuthing is just like reporting-- only with fewer exclamation marks. He intends to find out the answers to all these questions, communicating with a mysterious student from Hogwarts. Will he uncover truths that should be hidden? Will he solve the case? Will the Quibbler break the news? Read all about it in What's in the Third Floor Corridor!?--

It's crazy! It's wacky! It's an epistolary with letters in between!*

*Letters, or in other words, words.

This is Sainy Swiftfoot of Hufflepuff writing for the 2011 Mysterious May Challenge in the Great Hall, Prompt 1.

Snape Didn't Die by OliveOil_Med

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Winner of the First-Annual Ravenclaw Quicksliver Quill Award for Best Humor, Wittiest Writing!

Snape didn't die, he simply joined the Witness Relocation Program. A funny slogan for an avatar, but what if some crazed author somewhere decided to write the story behind it?

On the run from all those who would want to see his head on a platter, Severus Snape is put through a series of tests. But between scantily-clad Ministry agents, seeing-eye elves, and an all-witch school and all the drama that goes along with it, he is beginning to wonder how much worse the alternative would really be.

Happy Birthday, Chante'!

Dursleys, Meet The Wizarding World by Ghoul In Pajamas

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: The Dursleys have left Privet Drive and are in hiding with Hestia Jones and Dedalus Diggle. Hestia and Mr. Dursley are constantly fighting, Petunia is avoiding the wizards at all costs, and Dedalus is trying to make them all the best of friends. Meanwhile, Dudley discovers he has an interest in Harry's world, but his parents are less than pleased when they find out.

Players Rites by Northumbrian

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Ginny Weasley is about to play her first ever professional Quidditch Game. Why aren't her team mates ready?

Mattresses in the Hallway by C_A_Campbell

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: It was a war of inconceivable proportions.

It began with enemies

and ended with the best of friends. A tale of friendship told in two parts, starring Persephone Andreou and Valiant Bloodmoon

Lockhart, Sprout and Two Smoking Goblets by Equinox Chick, Gmariam

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Humiliated in front of the entire school by the purple-faced Pomona Sprout, Gilderoy Lockhart plots a grand revenge. His weapon of choice - a goblet full to the brim with steaming cocoa.

But has he underestimated the redoubtable Head of Hufflepuff House?

This is Gmariam of Ravenclaw and Equinox Chick of Hufflepuff writing for the 2011 Aprils Fools' Day Challenge in the Great Hall, Prompt 2 - Don't You Dare Prank Me!.

Disclaimer: We are not JK Rowling. If we had been, then there'd be far more stories about the Marauders in print.

This story is dedicated to our flist - especially the lovely Natalie (hestiajones). Enjoy!

Thanks for the on-the-hoof beta job, hestiajones.

Giddling madly, our story has been nominated for a 2011 QSQ for 'Best Darn Story Ever On The Archives' - okay, I mean Best HumoUr.

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