My Funny Valentine by Equinox Chick
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Looking forward to a romantic Valentine's Day with his fiancee, Ginny Weasley, Harry finds himself caught up in a truly hideous case with Romilda Vane from the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Department.
Seven men have been accused of inappropriate behaviour with the same girl, and Romilda is sure she knows who is to blame. Is it simple Muggle-baiting, or does the witch concerned have her talons flexed towards an unsuspecting eighth victim?
Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. This is far, far too silly to have come from her quill.
Happy Valentine's Day to all the readers and writers on MNFF.
The Valentine's Day Auction by Fynnsmom
Rated: 6th-7th Years •Summary: Bella participates in a Valentine's Day auction. Will she get what she wants and take home the prize?
Swimsuit Quidditch by Northumbrian
Rated: 6th-7th Years •Summary:
It is Ginny’s twentieth birthday, and she wants to play a game with Harry.
Dead Wands, Wand Shops and Magical Phrasebooks by Sainyn Swiftfoot
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary:
Marty Pyttin's wand is broken. It does not work as well as it used to. It does not please him any more. He takes it down to Ollivander's-- who, unfortunately, is dead, decased, ceased to be, and has left his rather incapable assistant, Ollivander Jr. in charge of Britain's best wand shop.
A mash-up, mix-up and rip-up, er, off of the legendary Monty Python sketches Hungarian Phrasebook, Cheese Shop and Dead Parrot, set in the wizarding world. Irrevocably silly.
Did You Hear The One About The Dark Lord ..? by Cannae be Kenobi
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Ron proves his comedic mettle to a sceptical Fred. Completely AU silliness. Rated for very mild language.
How the Prince Stole Christmas by L A Moody
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Long before there was Severus Snape, children the world over enjoyed the antics of a different, green-faced sourpuss. In parody and tribute, a melding of the two just in time for the holidays. Wishing all the participants at Mugglenet a very merry Christmas.
SPOILER ALERT for anyone who is not aware of the true identity of the Half-Blood Prince.
~~Nominated for 2011 Quicksilver Quills, Best Humor Story~~
A Canticle for Bellatrix by L A Moody
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary:
After being hit squarely in the chest by Molly Weasley at the end of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Bellatrix Lestrange wakes up lost and bewildered. A victim of the little-understood Bebitched Curse, she is transported through space and time to the ultimate gated community in a sunny climate. The people around her seem to possess an uncanny knowledge of the world she left behind, but none of them can work magic. Worst of all, she herself seems to be turning into a Squib. As she struggles to find her place among the very people she most despises, Bella slowly realizes that a land which reveres the magical world learns to work it own brand of magic.
Come join Bella in her voyage of self-discovery and social commentary. The Muggle world may never be the same.
Sirius' Serious Squirrel Secret by The Scribbler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Charming, courageous, athletic, rebellious, and Hogwart’s number one heartthrob: a reputation Sirius Black has cherished since First Year. Unfortunately for Sirius, his worst enemy overhears the one little secret that could ruin his reputation in an instant. The Marauders have to stop their enemy before the secret can spread through Hogwarts. If they fail, the perfect life as Sirius knows it will end.
Warning: extreme OOC content and general ridiculous randomness.
How Voldemort Got His Groove Back by OHara
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Even death can't keep the Dark Lord busy for long! A few weeks after his death, Voldemort returns to earth and finds his magic lost.
Forced to live as a Muggle, Voldemort teams up with an unlikely friend in an attempt to get a flat, keep a steady job and regain his old glory.
Please note: This story contains ridiculous plot twists, kooky pop culture references, extremely out-of-character behavior, alternate universes galore and a great deal of random silliness. You have been warned!
Bit of a Nasty Shock by hestiajones
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: ‘I’m half and half,’ said Seamus. ‘Me dad’s a Muggle. Mam didn’t tell him she was a witch ’til after they were married. Bit of a nasty shock for him.’
You'd love to hear this story, wouldn't you?
Thanks to Emma (Amortentia_x) for the Irishpick! :D And I am not J.K.Rowling, though they all belong to her.
Nominated for a QSQ in the Best Humour category.
The Ultimate Prank by Midnight_Unicorn
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: When Lily Evans causes Remus Lupin to be humiliated in front of the entire school, he vows revenge. That's when he comes up with The Prank. It's guaranteed to make Lily's worst nightmare come true, if he can pull it off. And on his own...he probably can't. But with the help of Sirius Black and his Ravenclaw friend, well, anything is possible.
The Right One by mgle_teacher
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: The right one isn't always the one we want or think it will be
Pairings: Harry/Pansy; Draco/Hermione; Ron/Luna
Tipsy Nilbog by FutureMrsLongbottom
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Tipsy Nilbog is a well loved goblin-child who has been given the best of everything. This year, she has been given an opportunity especially great: to be the first goblin-student at Hogwarts. She eagerly accepts, but not everyone is so thrillled by her presence.
Brazen by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: Professors •
Summary:
*These are the times that try men's souls.
Well, that couldn't be any more real for Draco Malfoy than on the eve of his wedding. He was getting married the next day, but all he could think about is how his life was about to become so much more damned complicated.
He had no idea.
*Quote - Thomas Paine, American revolutionary.
This fic was nominated for a 2010 Quicksilver Quill Award - Best Humour
I Like a Healthy Breeze Around My Privates, Thanks! by hestiajones
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: “Muggle women wear them, Archie, not the men, they wear this.”
Remember ol’ Archie from GOF? Well, now you’ll know why he refused to give up his flowery gown for a pair of trousers.
Written for the April Fool Challenge at the beta boards. Nominated for a QSQ in the Best Humour category. :D Many thanks to Rachel (lily_evans34) for her help with Latin.
DISCLAIMER: This is not J.K.Rowling, though characters you recognize and story premises belong to her.
Tom Riddle Hates Valentine's Day by AidaLuthien
Rated: 6th-7th Years •Summary: How Tom Riddle dealt with Valentine's Day, his seventh year at Hogwarts.
Written by AidaLuthien of Hufflepuff as part of the February Fiction Junction, I Challenge Thee, challenge. Late because she got the category wrong and midterms got in the way. Prompt was to write "a one-shot about how Tom Riddle celebrated a Valentine's Day at Hogwarts" and was set by Amorentia x.
Lord Voldemort and the Perils of Parenting by AidaLuthien
Rated: 6th-7th Years •Summary: Lord Voldemort won the Battle of Hogwarts but victory isn't all it's cracked up to be. Maybe training/raising some children/minions will make him happy...
Banner by Minnabird
Albus Severus Potter and the Thingamajig of Destiny by TrueMarauder
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: The scar had not pained Harry for nineteen years. All was well.
Or was it?
Voldemort is dead, but strange things are happening at Hogwarts (again). A mysterious object has resurfaced from the very origins of Hogwarts itself, and a wannabe Dark Lord is trying to steal it. With the help of a very unusual book, it is up to Albus and his friends to stop him.
One can only expect this when a Potter comes to Hogwarts.
The Bacchus Book by Equinox Chick
Rated: 3rd-5th Years • Summary: On the morning of Christmas Day, 2000, Hermione Granger (soon-to-be-Weasley) wakes up from a delightful dream to find herself in a bathroom at Grimmauld Place.
As various Weasleys queue up to tell her all about her behaviour the night before at Aunt Muriel's birthday party, Hermione is in a state of shock.
She knows she didn't drink anything stronger than Butterbeer. So why was she wearing a toga and teaching everyone how to perform Greek dancing?
And what, in the name of Merlin, was she doing with George?
This is Equinox Chick and this is my entry for the extra credit challenge 'In Vino Veritas' for the Winter Snows 09 competition over at the MNFF beta boards.
Thank you to Apurva for beta'ing this tale in time. Thanks also to various people on AIM for telling me to get on with this (Jess, Natalie, Hannah, Russia, Kara, BB)
Disclaimer: I'm not JK Rowling. She would never have written anything quite so daft.
Claimer: I have disgraced myself wearing a toga before now.
Gilderoy Lockhart’s Guide to Teaching by red haired mom
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Not having any experience teaching, Gilderoy Lockhart was only worried about looking good for his students during class. Making sure they bought all of his books, he had put all of them on the booklist for his class.
Join in the laughter, as Gilderoy tackles his hardest mission to date… teaching children how to defend themselves.