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Harry Potter stories written by fans!
Reviews For The Veil

Name: ech1811 (Signed) · Date: 04/10/10 19:50 · For: The Veil
I'm literrally (can't spell) tearing up. That was phenomonole (again, can't spell)


Name: namtsho (Signed) · Date: 01/29/09 0:23 · For: The Veil
Good poem! I couldnt have written ONE sentence about the Veil! I am that bad! And you are good. Hope I'll get to write some good and short poems like you!!


Name: Fire_Quil (Signed) · Date: 04/21/08 13:35 · For: The Veil
Short but sweet! I liked it. It explained quite a lot about the veil.


Name: Evilpersonified (Signed) · Date: 04/18/08 8:27 · For: The Veil
First of all, let me applaud you for writing on such an obscure subject. While the veil is important, I don't think too many people choose to write poems about it as it is merely a veil (or curtain) despite having killed our beloved Sirius. *morns*

What I really like about this piece is the adjective beginning each sentence. They could stand alone as a list, and would perfectly describe the veil. Additionally, I love the dichotomy you represent with your first line "aged but sailing strong". I also enjoyed the contrast between "separating" and "ripping" especially with them being so close together. Coupled with the line about it's grace, It just adds the idea that the most harmless objects often do the most damage.

I do have one suggestion, however. "Cutting through the air" sounds a bit clunky to me. Perhaps taking out "the" would sound better, and personify the air, demonstrating the harm the veil causes.

Overall, I really enjoyed this piece. You expressed so much with so few words, a difficult feat, and an essential talent for a poet.


Name: love_letters (Signed) · Date: 04/02/08 18:50 · For: The Veil
en, i've herd beter and i've herd wors


Name: loony1723 (Signed) · Date: 02/01/08 4:53 · For: The Veil
you have unleashed your inner spirit

never let it die.


Name: loony1723 (Signed) · Date: 02/01/08 4:52 · For: The Veil
you have unleashed your inner spirit

never let it die.


Name: Miss Orange Pen (Signed) · Date: 10/02/07 16:51 · For: The Veil
Brilliant! I love all the description and metaphors - great job!


Name: ARB514 (Signed) · Date: 07/23/07 18:08 · For: The Veil
A curious poem.unlike what I write... but still it's brilliant


Name: bellshel_36 (Signed) · Date: 07/20/07 13:21 · For: The Veil
wow ive never read a poem as good as that


Name: Fred the Duck (Signed) · Date: 05/28/07 13:24 · For: The Veil
its like the voices that they heard from behind the veil! i loved i!


Name: jlab_hpisdiboss (Signed) · Date: 05/20/07 18:46 · For: The Veil
insighting but a little unclear


Name: Abinlo_Ureesn (Anonymous) · Date: 05/01/07 22:12 · For: The Veil
ominous


Name: potions_perfection (Signed) · Date: 04/30/07 14:45 · For: The Veil
Simplistic and beautiful all at the same time. I like it, you captured the Veil's... feeling, I would say, perfectly.


Name: dracosgirlfriend (Signed) · Date: 03/23/07 18:19 · For: The Veil
cool


Name: Bellatrix_Lestrange (Signed) · Date: 01/26/07 11:50 · For: The Veil
Great poem very moving..


Name: crazyabouthermione95 (Signed) · Date: 01/20/07 22:22 · For: The Veil
Great poem!


Name: Herminoninny (Signed) · Date: 01/13/07 16:35 · For: The Veil
I thought u needed 100 words in a storie...


Great that is unbelieveably gdgd!!!!!


Name: Bookwormy (Signed) · Date: 01/07/07 8:26 · For: The Veil
wow....that was quite amazing.....I loved how the last line rhymed with amaze.....


Name: Rapid Reader (Signed) · Date: 12/21/06 16:06 · For: The Veil
I'm just kidding! WHAT THE HECK?!?!?!?!?!


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