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Wow, I loved the original story, and was heartbroken when McKee died. I hope it was a mistake and she is back, she's such a brilliant character.
I hate to ask it but is an update anywhere in the future? *is a lurky reader who doesn't believe in reviews minus this one*
~mj~
heey. I can't believe you made a sequel! It's great, I liked this story, keep witing:)
Lex! Oh lord, McKee is back upon us so that we might roll in her fabulous character once more. The simple joy of having another story to fanboy is very exciting for me. *waves little McKee flag*
I, as usual, am in complete and total love with your characterization. It's as if the characters come alive when you write them. :) I also love McKee and Bill's kid, Brian. He's got that air that McKee has, and I do hope that he pops ups again.
I couldn't find anything to nitpick, although I am a little wary of Bill's future characterization, specifically when he finds McKee - but you have handled him perfectly so far, so I have no reasons of doubting you yet. :)
One of my favourite quotes: “Who? The blond? Well of course she was! That Kingsley gets around more than any two-dollar-“ Hermione said. It was hysterical. XD
Last but not least: I absolutely loved the way you had McKee die but survive, if that makes sense. It was spectacularly done, and it made sense as well. Not the least soap opera-ish. I loved this dear! I can't wait to read more. Speaking of more - looks like there's another chapter for me to read. ;) *waves*
Author's Response: Hoorah~! The Patrick has chosen my fic to review! I'm so glad you've enjoyed it so far. Don't worry, Bill's characterization is very important to me, since the story has to be at least in part from his point of view. As for Brian, he's McKee's son! His role will be just as important as everyone else's.
The passage at the very beginning I like. You have no idea how glad it makes me that the whole not-really-dead thing wasn’t just an excuse to bring McKee back; it’s actually important!
“Don’t blame the book.” Hermione frowned. Oh, that made me snort. It scared my dog away when I did, mind you, but that’s not terrible important.
Bill wanted to believe that, but couldn’t help but feel like people often ignored his darker nature. There’s big theme on darkness in your story. McKee mentioned it too, and I love how both of them felt it. Being in love and all, it kind of connects them. Plus, personally, I find that very appealing in a character, simply because no one is just a goody good. It feels good to read about people disturbed by their own dark side.
That’s what I love about your stories. On the ones on TRC, too, I’ve noticed, all your characters are so believable and easy to relate to. And despite being from the Harry Potter books, the characters aren’t seemingly flawless. Everything always seems to take place in the real world, not the world of fiction. I even just caught myself thinking to myself that I should try and aim for that next time a write something. See? You’re such an inspiration. ;)
You really do have a way of tying great character and plot development together. I always thought that in a good story, those two things were one, not two different things, and that’s apparent when you write.
Okay, I’ll stop babbling like a fan girl about to wet herself. I just want you to know that I’d add this story to my favorites list if I could find the button (where IS it?!).
Author's Response: You crack me up. I'm glad that the plotline's got you intrigued and isn't totally transparent (my biggest fear). I once thought that MNFF stole the darkness out of my writing, but now that I'm working on TRC, it's always been there. All of my stories have a fair amount of dark/angsty, and for an odd reason, that's comforting to me. There'll be more to come. McKee wouldn't be well matched with sunshiney people, would she?
Um, I’m really sorry that your last review is for the last chapter. I seriously couldn’t find the box! It wasn’t there, at all, and then when I went to the last chapter, it appeared! But now it’s back....
I love how this starts. You know exactly who’s being talked about, but immediately you wonder where she is. And then you hear that she slept on pavement. I tell you, curiosity will be the death of me one day, and you keep playing on it! Then what was that? She just had some sort of spaz! Sheesh, you just want me to keel over wondering, don’t you?
There’s something really realistic about McKee that I’ve always liked, and seeing her in such bad shape is sad. There’s something inside her that ticks, and it makes me happy that Bill and Charlie found her.
I am so glad that Fleur came up, just because I’ve never cared for her much. All she got was a good telling off! Ha! It makes me so sadistically happy that she gets to hear Bill talk about finding McKee.
Here it is. You’re another one of those cliff-hanger hogs. You just can’t get enough of them, can you? I have to hand it to you, though, you make me want to rush through the story without stopping. Actually, I would, except then I know I’d only want to write one review, and that just would work out.
A still have dozens of questions, but I know you did that on purpose, so I won’t bother asking.
Um, I’m really sorry that your last review is for the last chapter. I seriously couldn’t find the box! It wasn’t there, at all, and then when I went to the last chapter, it appeared! But now it’s back....
I love how this starts. You know exactly who’s being talked about, but immediately you wonder where she is. And then you hear that she slept on pavement. I tell you, curiosity will be the death of me one day, and you keep playing on it! Then what was that? She just had some sort of spaz! Sheesh, you just want me to keel over wondering, don’t you?
There’s something really realistic about McKee that I’ve always liked, and seeing her in such bad shape is sad. There’s something inside her that ticks, and it makes me happy that Bill and Charlie found her.
I am so glad that Fleur came up, just because I’ve never cared for her much. All she got was a good telling off! Ha! It makes me so sadistically happy that she gets to hear Bill talk about finding McKee.
Here it is. You’re another one of those cliff-hanger hogs. You just can’t get enough of them, can you? I have to hand it to you, though, you make me want to rush through the story without stopping. Actually, I would, except then I know I’d only want to write one review, and that just would work out.
A still have dozens of questions, but I know you did that on purpose, so I won’t bother asking.
Aaagh! McKee’s back! And I’ve been missing it!
That was absolutely the coolest way to bring a character back! Really, I’m grinning like an idiot! There’s so many questions! What’s McKee been up to? How’d she wake up? How’s she going to react to Bill? How come Brian’s so low? Well, more like, “I want to know more about Brian.”
Actually, when poor Brian started crying, it seemed like he got hushed up pretty fast. That looked like a pretty important part of the chapter, and then it ended really fast. I’m pretty intrigued by the little guy. Also, I kind of wondered what Bill was thinking when Brian asked if he killed his mom. I can understand that he’d be pretty rushed, wondering what was going on and all, but I just felt like there was an odd gap right there.
You did a good job explaining why McKee was still alive. The goblin bit was well woven into everything, and I’m glad. You wake a dead character and make it seem reasonable and perfectly logical!
Also, you’re characterization is lovely. Each action that everyone does is detailed in such a way that I can imagine exactly what’s going, who’s looking at who, where each person is... and that’s an important part of writing! Heck, that’s practically why I got so addicted to McKee in the first place! I specifically remember her pulling her hair out of a pony tail so hard that hair came out, and wondering if she’d ever go bald. Things like that always make your writing so believable.
*adds to favorites*
Be lucky; I may have just decided to finish out my reviews with all of this. ;)
OMG, you're never going to believe this, but I was freaking out for like five minutes because I couldn't find the review box!
Author's Response: Rita...I just died laughing. lol!! I'm glad you enjoyed it. And most of the Brian/Bill action went on when Bill tucked him back into bed. There'll be a lot more interaction to come.
gasp. I'm sorry I didn't read this sooner. x.xI think this is superbly written, Lex. It's longer than I think most of people would have written the scene -- a good thing. It's very real, and the dialogue is well-paced and convincing.
Brian is automatically recognisable as McKee's son. *grins stupidly* It's so ironic, to see any child of a Weasley like that; it seems out of place for a moment. But, considering not only that he's got McKee's blood [and Lucius' for that matter -- ah, Grandpa Lucius] but also that he's been isolated from his family, his aunts, uncles, cousins, etc; and I don't imagine he has many play-dates? *sighs happily* It's one thing to characterise a teenager or adult well, but Brian is a remarkably individual character, and you don't see that a lot in child characters.
One thing does sort of distract me from the reading, and that's all the ellipses you use. There everywhere, and they're all added in a little differently [one with a space before, another with a space after, and the next one with no spaces at all]. Strictly speaking, ellipses should just be where used thought or speech are missing; obviously they're helpful in dialogue now and then, for a pause, but you have an awful lot of them in places that could do without them. And, while I'm not a punctuation nazi or anything, it sort of catches my eyes and throws off my reading.
/token criticism. But, a few extra dots aside, you're writing is brilliant. It's entertaining, and it's always fresh. It's not like reading a stage direction [he stood up and walked across the room; she looked at him fiercely], it's flavourful, and so much of it just flows seamlessly. Not to mention your wonderful additions of humour, and touches of the wizarding world that tie it in with the universe.
Of course, I'm mad at McKee *grumbles*. I want to know how she could justify staying away. I mean, I know that McKee could probably make a selfish decision, out of fear or just stubborness, and extricate herself from her life with Bill, and her son, but... gah. I want to see that for myself. And -- as far as I know, you haven't written the next installment? Oh, please do, Lex. I can never get enough McKee.
this is good!!!! please continue!!!!
Author's Response: I will, thank you :). I have a few other projects on the side of the original persuasion, and so, it'll be slightly slow in updating. But don't worry, I'm not quitting!
Awesome! McKee is back, Yessa! Good job on this story, I can't wait for the next chapter and more.
Author's Response: Hoorah, I have a reader! I'm so glad you're happy about it! Don't worry, there's much more to come!