sac longchamp
polo ralph lauren
buffalo bills jerseys
supra shoes sale
cheap nba jerseys
new england patriots jerseys
nike air huarache
hermes belt
ray ban sunglasses
arizona cardinals jerseys
hollister clothing
pandora outlet
coach outlet
salvatore ferragamo
ralph lauren polo
coach outlet
michael kors handbags wholesale
nike air max 90
michael kors uk
armani exchange
oakley sunglasses wholesale
michael kors handbags
nhl jerseys
atlanta falcons jersey
michael kors outlet
coach outlet
ugg outlet
replica watches
chicago bears jerseys
adidas yeezy
nike tn
michael kors outlet
houston texans jerseys
replica rolex
michael kors handbags
toms shoes
michael kors handbags
nike trainers uk
ecco shoes
michael kors handbags
true religion jeans
cheap ray bans
fitflops sale clearance
skechers shoes
ugg outlet
coach outlet
carolina panthers jersey
baltimore ravens jerseys
ugg boots
instyler max
michael kors handbags wholesale
cleveland browns jerseys
ray ban sunglasses
ugg boots
ugg boots
cheap nfl jerseys wholesale
jordan shoes
oakley sunglasses
new york knicks
ugg outlet
nike outlet store
oklahoma city thunder
ralph lauren outlet
49ers jersey
dolce and gabbana
kate spade
ugg outlet
cheap ray bans
ralph lauren pas cher
ugg boots
nike outlet
coach outlet online
true religion outlet
hermes belts
nike outlet
nike shoes
oakley sunglasses
minnesota vikings jerseys
nike huarache
nike store uk
washington redskins jerseys
michael kors handbags sale
michael kors outlet
moncler jackets
converse shoes
ralph lauren
nike roshe run
michael kors
fitflops sale clearance
ugg boots
ralph lauren outlet online
ugg boots
ugg outlet
saics running shoes
cheap michael kors handbags
michael kors outlet
ralph lauren outlet
golden state warriors jerseys
coach factory outlet
ugg outlet
cheap nfl jerseys
michael kors outlet
asics shoes
seahawks jersey
coach outlet
titans jersey
bills jerseys
vikings jerseys
los angeles lakers
giants jersey
red valentino
jimmy choo shoes
green bay packers jerseys
valentino shoes
new orleans saints jerseys
polo ralph lauren outlet
michael kors handbags
adidas nmd runner
gucci outlet
pittsburgh steelers jersey
polo ralph lauren
ugg outlet
reebok outlet
oakley sunglasses
ralph lauren
ugg boots
prada shoes
miami heat
coach outlet
coach outlet store
longchamp
yeezy boost 350 white
adidas nmd
ralph lauren
oakley sunglasses wholesale
ugg boots
seattle seahawks jerseys
rolex replica
christian louboutin outlet
saints jerseys
basketball shoes
pandora jewelry
polo ralph lauren
ralph lauren outlet
ugg outlet
michael kors uk
michael kors outlet
cincinnati bengals jerseys
oakley sunglasses
new york jets jerseys
ralph lauren
cheap oakley sunglasses
michael kors outlet online
hugo boss sale
nike outlet
air jordan 4
air max 90
cardinals jersey
ecco shoes outlet
yeezy shoes
mlb jerseys
nike outlet
true religion jeans
true religion jeans
polo ralph lauren
ray ban sunglasses
cheap nike shoes
golden state warriors
cheap basketball shoes
ugg boots
ray ban sunglasses outlet
bears jerseys
michael kors uk
michael kors handbags
fitflops shoes
coach outlet
jacksonville jaguars jersey
new york giants jerseys
cheap jordan shoes
tennessee titans jersey
replica rolex
michael kors handbags
montblanc pens
kansas city chiefs jerseys
coach factory outlet
replica watches
new balance outlet
kate spade outlet
mont blanc pens
coach handbags
michael kors handbags
christian louboutin shoes
michael kors outlet
fitflops sale clearance
dolce and gabbana shoes
oakley sunglasses
air jordan 4
jordan shoes
cheap ray bans
miami heat jersey
ugg boots
ray ban sunglasses outlet
michael kors outlet
adidas nmd
jerseys wholesale
mbt shoes
omega watches for sale
bengals jersey
ray ban sunglasses
colts jerseys
adidas nmd r1
coach outlet
michael kors handbags
supra shoes
ugg boots
oklahoma city thunder jerseys
chicago bulls jersey
nba jerseys
falcons jersey
coach outlet
coach outlet
san antonio spurs jerseys
christian louboutin outlet
ugg outlet
longchamp outlet
michael kors handbags
jordan 4
coach factory outlet
packers jerseys
nike huarache trainers
cheap nike shoes
michael kors outlet clearance
ugg boots
louboutin shoes
nike shoes
chargers jerseys
omega watches
coach
cheap uggs
hugo boss outlet
oakley vault
kate spade handbags
pandora jewelry
oakland raiders jerseys
cleveland cavaliers
nike blazer pas cher
hugo boss
jordan shoes
ed hardy outlet
ugg outlet
true religion outlet
broncos jerseys
ugg outlet
michael kors outlet
cheap mlb jerseys
air jordan 8
montblanc pens
christian louboutin outlet
chiefs jersey
michael kors outlet online
snapbacks wholesale
michael kors outlet
philadelphia eagles jerseys
yeezy boost 350
coach handbags
rolex watches
ugg boots
jordan 4
ray ban sunglasses
michael kors handbags outlet
rolex replica watches
nike roshe
coach outlet online
gucci sito ufficiale
nike factory outlet
coach outlet
fitflops sale clearance
ugg boots
kate spade
cowboys jerseys
jordan 8
michael kors handbags
ralph lauren
kobe 9 elite
polo ralph lauren
christian louboutin outlet
chicago bulls
michael kors handbags
chaussure louboutin
ray ban sunglasses
nike huarache
coach handbags
jordan shoes
armani outlet
patriots jerseys
kate spade outlet
chaussure louboutin pas cher
longchamp le pliage
ravens jerseys
polo outlet
oakley sunglasses wholesale
coach outlet
nike free
cheap jordans
fitflops sale
michael kors outlet store
true religion outlet
texans jerseys
ugg outlet
cheap jordans
mont blanc pens
miami dolphins jerseys
los angeles clippers jerseys
dallas cowboys jersey
air force 1 shoes
fitflops sale clearance
cheap ray ban sunglasses
ugg outlet
coach outlet online
true religion jeans
boston celtics jersey
nike tn pas cher
coach outlet online
cheap jordan shoes
new balance shoes
ralph lauren outlet
instyler max 2
reebok shoes
coach outlet online
san francisco 49ers jerseys
oakley sunglasses
mbt shoes online
toms outlet
detroit lions jerseys
browns jerseys
los angeles clippers
coach handbags
christian louboutin shoes
michael kors outlet
louis vuitton pas cher
polo outlet
fitflops
polo ralph lauren outlet
jets jersey
nike trainers uk
los angeles lakers jerseys
nike air force 1
coach outlet online
skechers outlet
mont blanc pens
coach outlet
ralph lauren outlet
michael kors handbags
christian louboutin
nike store
michael kors handbags
cheap michael kors handbags
nike blazer
pandora charms
longchamp outlet
polo ralph lauren outlet
lions jerseys
ugg boots
coach outlet online
oakley sunglasses
fitflops
nike huarache
cheap oakley sunglasses
san diego chargers jerseys
nike shoes
michael kors uk
air jordan uk
ralph lauren outlet
michael kors handbags
nike trainers
polo ralph lauren
gucci sale
moncler outlet
ralph lauren
ray ban sunglasses
coach outlet
nike air huarache
christian louboutin shoes
converse trainers
cheap nike shoes sale
kobe 9
mont blanc pens outlet
raiders jerseys
ugg boots
louis vuitton sacs
steelers jerseys
jordan shoes
nike outlet store
eagles jerseys
pandora charms
ray ban sunglasses
gucci borse
nike blazer low
ray ban sunglasses outlet
cheap jordans
new york knicks jersey
nike air huarache
jaguars jersey
cheap jordan shoes
nike trainers
nike blazer
dolce and gabbana outlet
nike outlet
cheap nike shoes sale
kate spade outlet
cheap nhl jerseys
hollister
cheap snapbacks
cheap ray bans
ferragamo shoes
ralph lauren
coach outlet
nike huarache
christian louboutin shoes
indianapolis colts jerseys
coach outlet
michael kors handbags
coach factory outlet
cheap oakley sunglasses
jimmy choo
versace shoes
denver broncos jerseys
michael kors handbags
boston celtics
redskins jerseys
michael kors outlet online
cheap ray bans
ugg boots
ed hardy
hugo boss sale
cleveland cavaliers jersey
ugg boots
michael kors handbags outlet
ed hardy clothing
michael kors handbags sale
fitflops sale
ugg outlet
cheap nike shoes
dolphins jerseys
ugg outlet
pandora jewelry
ray ban sunglasses outlet
prada shoes outlet
replica watches
longchamp handbags
coach factory outlet
ray ban sunglasses
ugg outlet
ray ban sunglasses outlet
carolina jerseys
yeezy boost 350 black
nike free 5
ed hardy uk
versace
ralph lauren
san antonio spurs
cheap jerseys
ugg outlet
ugg outlet
nike blazer pas cher
true religion outlet
cheap uggs
ugg outlet
I just found this storie and started to read it when i noticed you havent updated sinces 09....does that mean you stopped writing?
Author's Response: It means that I haven't had the chance to continue writing it. I also want to go back and change some stuff in the chapters to make it flow easier. It doesn't flow right to me...
I like the fact that Harry has a sister in this story. This is a good way to see the other side of the story where the sister Alex is telling her side of the story. How she saw things before her parents died. This is a nice way to read about the other side of not having both parents around. Based on Alex's story.
So Good Job!
Author's Response: Wow. Thank you so much! I haven't logged in in a while, so seeing your review made my night. Unfortunately, I'm not please with how I began the story, so I'm going to rewrite the first few chapters, rename it to something else, and start off at a different point in the third year, most likely the summer before. Keep a look out in the future for a new story by me though. I have a feeling my boyfriend (who actually encouraged me to continue the story a few minutes ago considering he only just found out I was writing it like ten minutes ago) won't be seeing me too often this upcoming Christmas hols.~Allieatrix
Oh My God!! This is awesome!! It's so intriguing...and then it just stops!
Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely comment.I'm sorry about the long wait. Real life is a bit busy at the moment.
The next chapter will be up as soon as possible. Keep a look out if you want to know what happens next.
~Allie
;) and I'm pretty sure I know who is watching her in the darkness of the RoR ;) just waiting for it to be revealed in the story...I do have to say...I LOL'ed at the "it's not time my time of the month" comment to Ron. :) Ok..gonna go for real this time *smiles*
Author's Response: Lol. Thanks again. The comment Alex made to Ron is what any typical teenage girl would say to a friend she is comfortable around. Why not try to make a fanfiction story as real as possible? And for the part in the RoR, that's not going to be revealed for quite some time! ;)
Oh no! Where did Alex just get sent??? (sounds like someone sent her off with a Portkey)....Love this as always, and I can't wait to read more :)
Author's Response: Haha. Thanks you! I wasn't sure how to write the last part, so I just used the portkey feeling for it. Who says that a portkey is the only thing to feel like that? Thanks again for reading. I hope chapter four will be coming sooner than this did. ~Allie
*Waves*
Hello, dear. I was browsing through the Hufflepuff Review thread and decided to have a go. I don’t generally read professors stories as a rule as well, but yours sounded interesting (and it is)!
I like the start. It jumps in and sets the scene. But you say that she can see her dad downstairs, but where are Lily and Alex if they can see him? It would be nice to know her location, because without it the first paragraph doesn’t make the best sense.
In the distance I hear a laugh; a high pitched, cold, evil laugh, but mum and dad act like they don’t hear it. - *shudders* That description is so simple, but so strong and haunting. Like a sound from your deepest nightmare.
I didn’t want to see what happened, so I turned my head. - I’m not great with tenses, but I don’t think this sounds quite right. Shouldn’t it be I don’t want to see what’s happening, so I turn my head.
All I think is that I don’t want mummy to go, but the man says an incantation, and I see that blinding green light again. - That really isn’t that sad (seeing as I was expecting it) but tears have still filled my eyes.
In the dream at the beginning, how old are the twins? Alex seems to know kind of a lot, that’s all, and when Lily/James died in canon Harry was one year old.
“AH!” Alex screamed, snapping her head up and causing the five classmates or so around her to jump a foot out of their chairs, while the rest of the class looked up from their work.
“Yes, Miss Potter?”
Alex groaned, but just loud enough for Harry, her brother, and Ron, Harry’s best friend, to hear her. Oh great! Out of all the classes I could have fallen asleep in, I had to pick Potions.
I like that bit, but the first sentence is long - maybe consider changing the ‘five classmates or so’ to ‘few’, or something along those lines? And I thought she was saying the italicised bit aloud at first. It would be clearer in a new paragraph and with ‘Alex thought’ tacked on the end.
chillier then it should have been. - ‘than’ instead of ‘then’.
The only differences between her and her mum was the thin, lightning bolt scar on her forehead that she and her brother shared, and her eyes; where her mum had emerald, she had inherited her father’s. - sorry, hon, but it sounds like Alex and Harry literally share a forehead. And I like the comment on the eyes - it’s a cool concept that Harry should look like his dad but have Lily’s eyes, and Alex looks like Lily but has James’ eyes.
“So tell me Miss Potter, is there a reason you screamed during my class?” Snape inquired, glaring at her down his hook nose, making his way across the room.
“No s---”
“Or is it that you fell asleep in the middle of my class while you were supposed to be reading about the history of unicorn hair and the properties of which it contributes to potion making.”
By this time, Snape had already crossed the classroom from the Slytherin side to Alex’s desk, placed both of his pale hands on either side of her potions book, leaned down to get face to face with her, and had a smirk on his face.
Oh God - loving the Snape characterisation. Cutting across students, looking down his nose… fantastic! Though when someone speaks to somebody, you need to put a comma in front of the person they’re addressings name. That probably didn’t make much sense, but here it should be, So tell me, Miss Potter for example. Also, the repetition of ‘face’ is slightly distracting. Maybe you could change had a smirk on his face to wore a smirk. Or something like that, anyway. XD
What you really should be thinking about is how are you going to hand in the information you were required to obtain by the end of class, if the class is almost over, and you haven’t gotten a single sentence written on your parchment? - it’s almost like he changes question half way through here. You need to reorder ‘how are you’ to ‘how you are’.
Snape mentions McGonagall having a go at him for giving Alex detention. Unlikely, I think. She’s one of the stricter teachers for discipline, and Alex does deserve the detention. *dodges tomatoes*
By the time Snape finished giving her detention, half his next class was already in the dungeon classroom. - all Snape’s classes wait outside until he’s ready for them, I think. I always got that impression from the books, anyway. Please, disregard this nit-pick if I’m wrong. :]
A look of shock crossed Snape’s face when she said what the dream was about, but it so short that Alex mistook it as a trick of the light. - Did you miss a word out somewhere? After the comma, it doesn’t make sense.
One last thing: Alex wouldn’t think of her DADA professor by his first name. Stick to surnames :]
My favourite part of this chapter has to be the dream. Your prose in that part was so lovely - the description created a great atmosphere.
I’ve said it already, but what stood out to me most about this chapter has to be Snape. His characterisation is so great - you have him spot on! It’s little things about Snape, like the gasp when Alex mentions his dream, that make him so … Snape.
Great work xx
…
Eeek! The word count for this review is over nine hundred! [!!!] :P
Author's Response: BINE! *squeeze*First off, thanks for the review. 900+ WORDS! WOWS!
Ok, what to start with first. I just went back and did a few changes at the spots that you pointed at. *squeezes again*
I'm not sure if you read the second chapter or not, but the reason why Alex calls Remus by his first name is basically explained in it. They became close friends.
Yes, Harry and Alex are both a year old in the dream, but the reason why Alex is able to remember the dream will be explained later, er, much later.
Snape is always a tricky person to write about, but this was fairly easy compare to what's to come. (side note. It's Severus' birthday today!)
Also, I'm quite fond of the dream myself. It was kind of fun to write.
Glad you enjoyed the chapter, and sorry for making you cry and frighten, even if it was just a little.
~Allie
*pokes*
Allie! See, I told you I would r&r =D
Well, I love the idea of Harry having a twin. Its not something you see every day and I really like new ideas =D
I loved Snape. He was pretty IC for most of it. Its just like him to say what he did about Hermione and whatnot. And speaking of Hermione, I can't wait to see what's the story surrounding that is.
I also loved the whole anticipation with why she had that dream. Overall, really good first chapter. Really does capture one's interest.
Can't wait to read more =D
xxRiham
Author's Response: YAY! *huggles Riham for finally reviewing*So, the dream. The dream is a bit major to the rest of the story. I'm going to refer to it in later chapters as more dreams, but I'm just going to put like little parts of it.
The dream has something to do with where Hermione ends up. Ok, maybe that wasn't what I meant. The story leads up to Hermione in a way.
Love that you loved Severus. He's a hard person to control. ;)
~Allie
Hey, Allie!
This was really good. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO HERMIONE!
I like your twist on the series, giving Harry a scarred twin. Now, there are two people-who-lived! By the way, Alex has a really good memory. She was a baby when Voldy attacked, and she remembers everything! SHE MUST HAVE BEEN SOME SORT OF BABY-NINJA.
Update soon, fiance-in-law!
-Josh-
Author's Response: BABY-NINJA!?!? Josh don't you ever give the ninjas a rest?You'll find out what happened to Hermione once we get to chapter four.
As for the memory, I thought I explained that to you and Riham, or was is Nikki? Hm. Anyway, you'll find that out in time also.
~Allie
I love this. Allie.
It's wickid.
I love the way that Alex ( I kinda wanna call her Allie, lol) is so much her own person, instead of just living for Harry, like some fics do it.
I also like the way she has her own relationships and all that.
Well done, my friend.
Lol
-Lexy
Author's Response: Lol. Lexy, another review? I was only expecting one! *cherishes(sp?) review*Once again I'm surprise you didn't say anything about Severus' arm. Then again I was only expecting that one review. *sti;; cherishing(sp?)*
That Allie comment made me laugh, no lie, and she really is her own person. There is so much to Allie that will be revealed that makes her somewhat different from Harry. Ok, that was an odd line.
By relationships I take it you're talking about her attitude towards Sev and how she and Remus are together. Hm. I wonder if you thought I was pairing Alex and Remus together. *questioning look*
Well two reviews just brighten up my day. Maybe they'll keep my cold away.
~Allie
Heyyy there, Allie, Love.
This is really rather amazing.
I love all of this story, as I must admit, I do rather adore Harry-with-a-twin storys, and there just aren't enough!
I'm glad you agree...
I love the detail and description of the first part, the dream, although it is a bit odd that a one year old baby remembers all of that.
I also love your characterization of Sanpe. You have him so IC.
:)
I love your story, so update soon missy!
Love
-Lexy
Author's Response: Lol. Lexy, love, it's about time. *snickers*Yay! I love my story being amazing! *squee*
Ok. Time to be professional again. *holds back laughter*
I believe I already told you about how Alex remembers the dream so well. Remember, it was through aim. Anyway, I should probably make a note of that somewhere before I forget. *hugs Lexy for the reminder*
Severus. Oh what am I going to do about him. I'm surprised you didn't ask about why he openly showed his left arm in chapter two. And the characterization of him, it's hard keeping him IC. It's definitely going to be hard in later chapters, and I mean like in the middle of the story.
I'm going to update as soon as Sarah(chained) gets back to me with chapter three, and then I have to change some stuff that I know doesn't make sense already and then send it back to her. So it's going to be a while. A month, at least.
Love you! *squishes*
~Allie
This is an intriguing story. I'm pleased to see that Alexandra seems to be her own person and not merely Harry's twin. She has a lot of spirit. Your Remus is very compassionate I'm pleased to say, I want to know where Hernione's gone...any clues...pretty please.
I have one eensy quibble *sorry*. I'm not sure Snape would have called Professor McGonagall by her first name in front of students.
But that's my only quibble - the rest is all good.
Author's Response: Hm. Curious. I don't remember having Snape call MsGonagall by Minerva. I wonder which chapter it was in?As for Hermione, you'll know soon enough. Oh, and congrats Carole!
~Allie
Well, things are about to get interesting! I'm wondering if Alex will attempt to use the Time Turner. In your Intoduction, she says that she is stuck in the year 1973, so, maybe that was a hint? ;0)
Anyway, great story and good luck writing future chapters.
Author's Response: Yes, the 1973 thing was a hint, but no, Alex doesn't attempt to use the time-turner. Have any guess then? It also mentioned something about Draco, remember. The next chapter will be very interesting as well. things are just begining for this story.~Allie
First of all, congratulations on your first fanfic! I admire all the new authors and their courage to put words together to make a story. I have the same talent, but I'm too shy to put it in public...
I love your story, and the idea of Harry having a twin. I wonder if Alex and Harry were both raised by the Dursleys. Imagine their horror at raising not one, but two Potter kids!
Anyway, I love the concept, it's gonna be fun to see what happens in Alex's life.
Obviously, there's no love lost between Snape and Alex...She has Lily's red hair, but not her green eyes. I'm sure he 'loves' the fact that he has two 'celebrities' in his class.
I look forward to reading the next chapter of this wonderful tale!
Author's Response: Lol. Thanks. I actually started thinking about this story months ago. I think it was around March, but so much has changed. One main thing that changed was one of my pairings.Yes, they were both raised by the Dursleys, but unlike Harry, Alex actually liked going to Figgys' house. Lol. Of course Alex realised that if she showed joy going over there the Dursleyes would stop the visits. And since Alex looked like Lily, maybe Petunia had a bit of a soft spot for her.
As for Snape, it's a bit complicated in itself. He can't stand Harry because of the replication of James, but he gets annoyed that once again a red head has a fiery attitude and won't be afraid to fight back if needed.
Rest assure dear reader(s) (lol. I couldn't resist saying that), there will be many surprises in this story, some of which will probably have you screaming at me.
~Allie
*greedily waits for more more MORE* I love this! I can't wait to find out what unfolds next! Thanks for sucking me in *grins*
Author's Response: Next we go to the RoR and there's a little hint in the room that you might figure out. ;) Then again you might not.Thanks for the great review, it made my dad so much better. I've felt a little sick during school, but now I'm all smiley. Lol.
As for the next chapter, Sarah *chained* still has it. I won't be able to look at it when she gets finished though until my mom fixes the main computer. Sometimes it helps to have a computer instead of a laptop!
Until then,
~Allie
I really enjoyed it. I'll be waiting for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thanks. I can't wait to see what everyone thinks of Chapter Two.Keep a look out for the next chapter. I'm going to submit it when the queue opens along with a one shot that I didn't for a Hufflepuff Back to School Challenge.
Thanks again for the review.
~Allie
Hmm..this is very interesting...I look forward to reading more. I like Alex so far-seems to have a bit of sassy in her :)
Author's Response: Lol. Yea, Alex can be a little sassy. She has her moments when she gets fiery like Lily.The next chapter will be sent when the queue opens back up. Keep a look out for it.
~Allie
I ust found this story by looking on Sitaras Banner thread and I am impressed. It is really good!
~Anna
Author's Response: Aw, thanks. I'm going to try and get the next chapter up once the queue opens again. Keep your fingers crossed that it'll pass the mods. Lol.
First thing I noticed you used Harry's name a little too much. Pronouns can be your best friend. I felt it was a little repetitive and a bit annoying to keep reading his name like that.
All around the walls of the dungeon classroom are jars filled with dismembered parts used for potion making.
You changed tenses. It shouldn't be are. When you write, stay to one tense.
All around the walls of the dungeon classroom were jars filled with dismembered parts used for potion making.
I think that you stayed in character with Snape until the very end. I doubt that he would display shock at all, he would probably keep it to himself, and depending on if Snape is evil or not, he would report to either source that he has.
I'm liking this, a lot. I want to read more. =)
Author's Response: Hey, thanks for correcting that part. I'll go change it asap. Glad you like it so far, it's just going to get better. ~Allie
This is a good story. It relly makes me think what the stories might have been like if Harry had a sister. I am interested to see where the story goes. Can't wait!
Author's Response: Lol. Thanks. That means a lot to me. There will be a few twists up in the future. Some many will be prepare for, but not for Alex. And, well, I have at least one idea in my head for the beginning of fourth year. But as you can guess, that's not going to be any time soon. Keep looking out for another update soon. ~Allie