Name: mahogany_wand (Signed) · Date: 07/01/09 11:16 · For: Chapter 1

Hollz, love, I mus say this was the first time I'd read this. I'm surprised you're giving away your Cedric to a fictional character! What kind of fangirl are you?

I really liked this story. I think that Lisa is well characterized and easy to relate to. I think you should write a bit more about Lisa's sister and how they got along before the "Matt incident." I would be very interested to see that.

I saw a teeny mistake in this, though. I believe Cedric is a Hufflepuff, correct? and then in the last chapter I believe you said that Lisa was a Ravenclaw and Cedric was a Hufflepuff. Because of that, I was a bit confused when I read this passage: We'd met on the Hogwarts Express in our first year, and were both sorted into Hufflepuff house. Is Lisa a 'Puff or an awesome possum 'Claw?

I can't wait to read more! BTW, you're one of my favorite authors now. So that I'll get an email whenever you put a new story on here. :D

~M_W

Author's Response: You know what? I'm such a moron. I was in the process of changing this story slightly and must have forgotten about that part! Thanks for pointing it out. I've taken your criticisms on board and I'm still inthe process of writing the second chapter but it'll be up here soon! And thank you for adding me to your Favourite Authors list! Means a lot to me! ~ Holly x

Name: Nitwit Blubber Oddment Tweak x (Signed) · Date: 05/29/09 7:09 · For: Chapter 1

Hey Hol-lee :)
Great story my dear!
I haven't seen enough Cedric fics, and it's something I've always wanted to read.

I like Lisa! She's a very honest character, and she's easy to identify with. You've put in the right amount of humour and the feelings you describe are ones most of us have felt and make you go 'Ahhh...' Overall, I think she's great. I'd like to see more of her - not just the clumsy, day-dreaming Lisa, but another side of her :)

While I like your characterisation of Cedric, I hope you show more layers of him in the upcoming characters. Cedric is a Gary-Stu in himself; good at Quidditch, a Prefect, good-looking, kind. I love giving those kind of characters more depth, and I hope you will too! I think you've got the right aura for him now as it is only chapter one, so I'm looking forward to seeing some flaws and some depth to make him seem more human :D

Anyway, you've put up a good setting and I can't wait to see what you're going to do now! I hope you won't eliminate Cho too soon; a struggle is always nice :]

*huggles*

Emm-ar ;D

Name: horcruxnumber8 (Signed) · Date: 05/28/09 22:24 · For: Chapter 1

Hello, was looking for some new stories to read and I thought I'd support my beta and read one of hers! :) This is great so far, you've got me really curious to find out more about what happened with this notorious Matt fellow - hope we get to find out more about that in later chapters! And Cedric seems so sweet! :) Keep up the good work!

~ Jackie

Name: Russia Snow (Signed) · Date: 05/25/09 14:51 · For: Chapter 1

Hey Holly, I really loved this chapter, I think you captured Lisa's essence of her love really well. And god you write Cedric well! Looking forward to the next chapter, keep up the good work!
*sqeeshes hugs*
Russia xxxxx

Name: ginnygirl16 (Signed) · Date: 05/10/09 21:20 · For: Chapter 1

Another good chapter! Great job, I am really starting to get into this story now.
Just a few nitpicks, and they are mostly associated with the timeline:
1) Ginny would have been in her third year during the time of the triwizard (though, I swear, my favorite part so far has been the mention of a second-year hitting her with a bat-bogey hex, after Lisa told her that she couldn't get her a date with Harry Potter. Honestly, I think that is one of the best lines I have ever read in fanfiction:) 2) Cho would have been in fifth year, not sixth year. It says in HP that she was a year older than Harry;)
Anyways, I am sooo loving this story. I love the characters, and the mood and everything. I am so excited to see where you take this. Oh and thank you muchly for your awesome review for my story. It has been updated as well if you wanted to keep reading. *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* (Don't feel obliged to though.)
Anyways, I very much hope to see more of this. Lisa is an amazing OC and Cedric is so IC. Great job, and keep up the great work--ginnygirl16

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I've changed the things you pointed out to me (:

Name: ginnygirl16 (Signed) · Date: 05/10/09 21:20 · For: Chapter 1

Another good chapter! Great job, I am really starting to get into this story now.
Just a few nitpicks, and they are mostly associated with the timeline:
1) Ginny would have been in her third year during the time of the triwizard (though, I swear, my favorite part so far has been the mention of a second-year hitting her with a bat-bogey hex, after Lisa told her that she couldn't get her a date with Harry Potter. Honestly, I think that is one of the best lines I have ever read in fanfiction:) 2) Cho would have been in fifth year, not sixth year. It says in HP that she was a year older than Harry;)
Anyways, I am sooo loving this story. I love the characters, and the mood and everything. I am so excited to see where you take this. Oh and thank you muchly for your awesome review for my story. It has been updated as well if you wanted to keep reading. *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* (Don't feel obliged to though.)
Anyways, I very much hope to see more of this. Lisa is an amazing OC and Cedric is so IC. Great job, and keep up the great work--ginnygirl16

Name: Russia Snow (Signed) · Date: 05/04/09 14:04 · For: Prologue

Very good! :) I liked the cliff hanger type ending. Could she possibly? Who wouldn't!
Russia xxxxx

Author's Response: Aww thank you! Keep reading :)

Name: fg_weasley (Anonymous) · Date: 04/17/09 21:43 · For: Prologue

Okay, so I know I said I would get this to you a lot sooner than I did ... sorry about that. RL got in the way. Anyway, I'm here! So onto the review. :D

I really liked the beginning; it really drew me in. Immediately, it begs two questions: Why is she running, and why does she hate her sister so much? I love fics that start off with a bang, and yours certainly does.

When we actually find out why Lisa hates her ... well, not that I blame her, of course, but I was actually surprised. I guess I was just expecting something ... really terrible. Dark, I mean. There's nothihng wrong with the reasoning you presented, though; its a very good reason, I think, especially given that its apparently happened before (as implied by the 'again'). I don't much like this sister already. LOL. But I'll hold off real judgement, as I don't really know her yet.

The emotions of your character are well written; you don't just tell the reader what she's feeling, you show it. That's really good. Even in this small bit of a prologue, I got a good sense of the character, which is sometimes hard to do.

The only thing I'm a little wary about is the way she changed so suddenly. At the start of the chapter, her heart is broken and she's filled with hatred. Not a few paragraph's later, she's forgotten it and may already have feelings for another. I'm not saying this can't happen, but I would have liked to have seen it. You exhibit great skill in being able to show your characters emotions, and I think it would have been beneficial to perhaps spend a little more time on the walk back home with Cedric. I know this is just a prologue, but I feel that leaving that out, not showing the reader, takes away from the start of your fic. A prologue doesn't have to be terribly short, and I think that, given how deep her pain appeared to be at the beginning -- she said it herself, hate is a strong word, especially when describing a sister, so the reader assumes that her feeling is strong -- it seems to me that the strength is lost when she bounces back so suddenly.

Overall, I think your writing is good and you have a clear, well-written style with just a few minor kinks. This was a great start, and I think you succeeded in showing some slight insight into your character.

[hugs]

xox
nikki :D

Author's Response: Hey Nikki! Thank you so much for the review! I've taken on board everything that you said and I completely agree. However, there are reasons for the sudden switch in emotions, etc. Not to give too much away for later chapters, but Lisa comes to terms with a few things and realises that maybe her feelings are stronger than she thought ;-) The critique is much appreciated - it's what makes me strive to write better! ~Holly

Name: Quilter (Signed) · Date: 04/15/09 10:51 · For: Prologue

Excited for more of your story. Thank you for sharing your Lisa and her thoughts. Be interesting to see how the story unfolds.

Author's Response: Thank you for your review, and you're very welcome! Keep reading :d ~Holly xx

Name: Vittoria (Signed) · Date: 04/13/09 22:19 · For: Prologue

This prologue is really well written. Correct me if I'm wrong, Lisa happens to be dating a guy by the name of Matthew right and also realises she is falling for Cedric? I think you've portrayed her emotions very well. Good job.

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! Basically, yes - Lisa was seeing someone by the name of Matthew, but he cheated on her. I'm glad you liked it! ~Holly

Name: JeeviS (Signed) · Date: 04/13/09 7:47 · For: Prologue

Awww its so sweet.... but to bad Cho comes into the pic.... n Cedric dies in his seventh year....great chapter though... i love it...!! its very well written...cant wait for the next chapter....update soon plzz

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! Unfortunately, Cedric doesn't even make it to his seventh year - he dies in his sixth. *Sob.* Don't forget this story has an AU tag - so anything could happen ;-) Next chapter is at BETA right now so keep reading! ~ Holly

Name: ginnygirl16 (Signed) · Date: 04/12/09 17:42 · For: Prologue

Okay so usually I like to stick with reading canon stories, but your summary made me very interested in this story. This chapter is very mysterious--we don't really know Lisa very well, but I am really excited to see where you take this. Great job and keep up the great writing!

Author's Response: Oh wow! Thank you so much! I think you'll be pleasently surprised, I hope you keep reading! ~ Holly x

Name: OliveOil_Med (Signed) · Date: 04/12/09 13:45 · For: Prologue

What a cute story! It's fun to write stories about the character you fangirl, isn't it?

Author's Response: Aha, yes! It is. All is not what it seems on the surface, though! ;-) Thank you for the review :-D xx