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Wow. This was...AWESOME. Percy was characterized quite well, and he seemed quite mature for an eleven-year-old boy. You have a real talent for writing!
I enjoyed this, but I didn't think Ginny was 11 years younger than Percy? Unless I miss understood the line, "This year, he now had a brand new sister as well".
That made for an interesting read, more so because the Percy we know already knows too much for his own good, except when he has enough sense to come back and be the Weasley you've shown him to be here. Which only furthers your reason, that he was a Weasley through and through. I never liked Percy much, doubt a lot of people did, but I like the 11 year old Percy a lot. :)
Aw, that was sweet! It's so nice to read a bit more about Percy, since he's always sort of picked on by his brothers. You did a lovely job fleshing him out a bit and making him a far more likable character than he was in some of the books. It's nice to think he started out this way, just any other kid nervous about his first day at school. The conversation with the Sorting Hat was fantastic! You really nailed his characteristics down well. Such a nice story, it really deserves more reviews! ~Gina :)
Author's Response:EEK! Someone reviewed this little story! My poor little Percy story is kind of shifted to the back behind my canon romance ones. I still feel like the only person who ever read it was Natalie, who beta'd it, so I was quite shocked to get your review, and quite pleased that you liked it.
When the challenge came out last year in Hufflepuff, I immediately thought of Percy, as I've always had those moments in the series why I wondered why he wasn't sorted in Slytherin, and decided that it while it would be cliche to say it was simply because he was a Weasley, but then I realized that at the heart of it, that actually was the case- because he WAS a Weasley, and in the end has some of those defining characteristics that the rest of his family had that made us all love them so. I think that's some of the writing I'm most proud of, the conversation with the Sorting Hat, in anything I've ever written, because not only does it convey something I really wanted to specifically convey, but I was nervous about getting his style of speaking down.
Your review made me beam. :) Sorry for the long reply!
~Amanda
When I saw the chosen character in the first drabble, I knew then and there that it was going to be an interesting read. (That’s why I was volunteered to be your cheerleader. Lol!) Who would have thought of Percy? Pompous and cocksure in the books, many people simply take it for granted that he was confident of himself all the time. I think your examination of that assumption was what made the story great for me.
However, you still kept a nervous Percy IC.
“He would be free to make new friends, to gain more knowledge…but as this moment was now upon him, he suddenly realized how terrified he was. And how much he was going to miss everyone. He almost snorted at the thought. Well, almost everyone. He was sure he could get used to living without fear of what Fred and George were dreaming up.”
“Need any help from us, little brother?" Bill asked, looking down at Percy, whose right hand was still gripping his trunk firmly.
Percy shook his head. "No, thank you, Bill. I'm sure I'll manage."
“Your greatest journey is about to begin, he reminded himself firmly.
If he could just stop being so nervous. “
Of course, Percy would think he was headed for the Olympics; he would be so sure that he would shine above the rest at Hogwarts. But there was that Weasley in him – he still loves his brother though in spite of the differences.
“Throughout all of this, Percy stared. His brothers were sitting with him on the way to Hogwarts? Didn’t…didn't they have friends they'd rather sit with? And he'd already had a friendly conversation with a stranger who didn't seem to find him odd or pompous. His heart swelled as he listened to Charlie's familiar voice and watched his two brothers settle into their compartment. They were letting him branch out…but they were not leaving him. He suddenly grinned. “
This was probably my favorite part of the story. I love the Weasleys because they always come back to each other in the end. And Percy may have acted like a prat, but he is still a Weasley. You didn’t show him being a snooty git – he still has that innocence. Hmm…maybe it was the Prefect Badge that corrupted him. Lol! Kidding.
“He felt a silly grin spreading over his face again, but for once he did not care. There was no Ron, no Ginny, and thank heavens no twins. He did not have to be the responsible one, for once - at least, not tonight. He felt like running up and down the halls of the train with his arms stretched wide, laughing -”
I loved this part too. This is definitely the Percy who hexed Thicknesse. ;) It actually made me take Percy seriously (because, seriously, I never took him seriously before). I am sure Molly’s high expectations and demands from her children had to take their toll on at least one child – and it was Percy. He had to fulfill those dreams for her; he had to be the responsible one. Bill was cooler about this – he took things in his stride. But Percy must have felt that he had to live up to that Head Boy thing too.
The Sorting was great to read. If the Hat had not thought of putting Percy in Slytherin, I would have raised my eye-brows. He certainly seems to possess a few qualities of that house (no offence to Slytherins!). But you gave convincing reasons why the Hat chose Gryffindor. The Weasley thing comes into play again, but Percy’s sense of righteousness also contributes to his being selected for that very house.
So, what I am trying to say in a roundabout fashion is that, you wrote a well-rounded Percy (ha ha – what an odd choice of words. Well rounded Percy!) I mean to say, you saved him from being a one-dimensional character.
Charlie, Bill and Oliver were nicely written. Charlie and Bill always had a camaraderie going on them – remember the mid-air table fight in GOF? Here, you managed to capture that spirit. :) Poor Oliver, on the other hand, is already obsessed with Quidditch. :D
On a side note, I was a little confused at Molly’s absence at first. But then, I remembered someone has to look after Ron, Ginny and the twins (always a handful). Is that why she wasn’t there to see her sons off?
All in all, I thought this was the best entry for the competition, because you took a risk with your choice of character yet did it so well in the end.
~Natalie.
Author's Response:Natalie! Twin sister! I squeed at work when I saw this amazing review! Even if it was so long because it was telling me how bad my story was, it shows you took the time to tell me why. >.<.
I'm getting more and more plot bunnies for Percy, I don’t know why. But he was the first character that popped into my head, and I suddenly realized I wasn't sure I agreed with his sorting into Gryffindor. And I never believed Percy was also sure of himself. I identified with Percy a lot - I am an older sister who studies a lot and reads a lot and says a lot of statements that gets myself made fun of a lot by my family who thinks I'm completely uncool and nerdy. And I therefore pretend it doesn't bother me and that I'm confident but really, it bothers me and I used to think about it - should I just fade into the background and not say what I want? Or be myself? And I had a lot of expectations for myself with college as well. I used all of these experiences to write about what I imagined Percy would feel entering his first day of Hogwarts. The only difference would be that he had older brothers encouraging him, whereas I was the older sister, venturing out alone.
At the same time, I always felt that Percy would have some idea of how others perceived him, no matter what he said or how he acted. And he was only 11, so he hasn't quite perfected "Percy the Prefect" yet. :)
I don't know if any of that makes sense. I have this very clear picture of Percy in my head, lol. I tried to make it clear that Ginny was a newborn (her birthday is over the summer sometime, I think) so that Molly had chosen to stay home with the new baby rather than have Arthur stay home. Don't know how clear I was able to make that - I was trying to have it be soley from Percy's thoughts, and I thought it would be weird to go into a full explanation of why Molly wasn't there, as obviously Percy would know. >.<
Thank you so so so much for this review. I am so flattered you enjoyed the story, and that you really took the time to point out what you liked about it.
~Amanda, aka, your long-lost twin sister.