Login
MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: linmangmu (Signed) · Date: 09/14/17 3:39 · For: Chapter 1: My infatuation with a certain Prefect
true religion
air max
hermes belt
michael kors factory outlet
ferragamo belt
michael kors outlet
chrome hearts online
kyrie irving shoes
michael jordan shoes
dior sunglasses
nmd
michael kors handbags
fitflops
yeezy boost 350
pandora bracelet
tory burch shoes
retro jordans
yeezy shoes
kyrie 3
fitflops
lebron shoes
michael kors handbags outlet
hermes belts for men
longchamp
vibram five fingers
golden goose
nmd
air jordan shoes
louboutin shoes uk
adidas tubular
adidas outlet online
hogan outlet online
adidas nmd
nike football boots
longchamp bags
http://www.kobebasketballshoes.us.com
jordan 6
nike air max
yeezy boost
timberland boots
nike air max 2017
kyrie 3 shoes
nfl jerseys
nmd
jordan shoes
curry 3
kobe shoes
air jordan 13
nike huarache
air jordan
longchamp handbags
nike dunks
tom ford sunglasses
air force 1
reebok shoes
longchamps
michael kors uk
hermes belts
adidas stan smith sneakers
golden goose
asics running shoes
adidas outlet
fitflops sale clearance
links of london
yeezy boost
prada glasses
nike air max 90
adidas tubular
nike air huarache
longchamp bags
yeezy boost 350
adidas superstar
michael kors purses
stephen curry shoes
air jordan shoes
golden goose sneakers
true religion jeans
yeezy boost 350 v2
Kanye West shoes
yeezy shoes
michael kors outlet online
jordan retro 6
nike polo shirts
longchamp bags
kobe 9
adidas superstar
tory burch shoes
af1
chrome hearts online
nike dunks shoes
michael kors handbags
jordan 11 retro
cheap basketball shoes
longchamp bags
yeezy
http://www.kobeshoes.uk
chrome hearts online
air max 90
nike huarache
led shoes for kids
vibram fivefingers
lacoste outlet
michael kors outlet store
asics shoes
adidas superstar shoes
adidas stan smith
nike roshe uk
nike zoom
lacoste outlet
michael kors outlet
yeezy boost 350 v2
true religion outlet
basketball shoes
michael kors outlet
nike air force
adidas nmd
longchamp sale
roshe shoes
retro jordans
adidas store
adidas stan smith
jordans for cheap
gucci belt
longchamp
adidas yeezy
led shoes
michael kors outlet online
michael kors
lacoste online shop
converse outlet
led shoes
curry 4
golden goose outlet
jordan retro 12
van cleef
michael kors handbags
pandora charms
kobe shoes
adidas superstar shoes
air max 2017
longchamp outlet
adidas outlet
adidas nmd
adidas tubular shadow
jordan 4
yeezys
timberland outlet
jordan 12
yeezy boost
longchamp outlet
cheap jordans
air max 2016
adidas ultra boost
cheap jordans
adidas nmd
falcons jersey
adidas gazelle
adidas online shop
adidas nmd
brady jersey
jordan 13
nike polo
kyrie shoes
retro jordans
cheap jordans
ferragamo belts
retro jordans
golden goose
dior glasses
adidas nmd r1
cartier bracelet
adidas ultra boost
golden goose sneakers
louboutin shoes
longchamp longchamps
curry shoes
jordan shoes
lebron 14 shoes
chrome hearts online store
nike air zoom
yeezy boost 350
air jordan
lebron james shoes
nike air force
nhl jerseys
air force 1
lacoste polo
cheap mlb jerseys
prada sunglasses
nike huarache
mlb jerseys
curry 3 shoes
links of london sale
cheap jordans
adidas yeezy boost
jordan shoes
yeezy boost 350
lebron 14
air jordans
air yeezy
yeezy boost 350
adidas ultra
authentic jordans
michael kors factory outlet
michael kors outlet online
kobe basketball shoes
yeezy boost 350
converse outlet
lebron 13
yeezy boost 350
converse shoes
nike air huarache
jordan shoes
true religion
tom ford eyewear
harden shoes
kobe sneakers
air max 2018
patriots jersey
adidas tubular shadow
nmd
gucci belts
nike zoom running shoe
nike air force 1
reebok outlet
lebron 13 shoes
yeezy boost 350 v2
pandora charms
james harden shoes
longchamp
adidas neo
michael kors outlet
chrome hearts
nike mercurial
adidas outlet online
van cleef arpels
michael kors handbags
adidas outlet
longchamp handbags
nike air zoom
cheap jordans
burberry scarf
yeezys
adidas shoes
jordan retro
pandora jewelry
adidas stan smith shoes
adidas ultra boost uncaged
michael kors outlet
kobe 11
cheap jordans
atlanta falcons jersey
nike roshe one
jordan 11
cheap jordans
adidas nmd runner
kobe 11
fitflops clearance
stephen curry shoes
yeezy boost
yeezy shoes
hogan outlet
kobe basketball shoes
pandora jewelry
yeezy shoes
links of london outlet store
adidas online shop
nike roshe run
yeezy boost
adidas tubular
nike roshe run
cheap nfl jerseys
roshe run
kobe 9
nike air max 2018
adidas tubular
kobe bryant shoes
converse outlet store
nike air max
air max 90
nike air force 1
adidas ultra boost
new england patriots jersey
light up shoes
nike air max 90
chrome hearts
michael jordan shoes
yeezy boost 350 v2
tory burch outlet
hermes belt
jordan shoes
kobe shoes
adidas nmd
nike zoom
links of london
ultra boost
linmangmu


Name: Kerichi (Signed) · Date: 06/26/15 15:00 · For: Chapter 4: Attention is not good for me
Hurt and angry, I stormed from the classroom, slamming the door behind me. Half way down the corridor, I broke into a run, even though I had no idea where I was headed.

You don't need to tell the reader that he's hurt and angry when you show it by him storming out and breaking into a run and then having his Draco-esque meltdown in the lavatory. I'm glad he did have his meltdown because it made me see that your vision of Lucius is patterned on Draco. I see them as very different, so I kept thinking his characterization was off, but now I can shift my expectations...and laugh at Thomas thinking a boy can give a girl the best shag of her life in a broom cupboard.

Ack, Lucius can't remember Narcissa's name again! He's coming across as a blond stereotype. :D

Author's Response: Oh no no, he remember's Narcissa's name alright; he's trying to remember Letty's name! And Thomas, well, what can I say, he fancies himself a good matchmaker (although given the canon-age dilemma's I appear to now be facing, I'd hazard he's behind smuggling Bellatrix into the castle more than anything else). Thanks again for your reviews - they've certainly made me cast another eye over this story! :)


Name: Kerichi (Signed) · Date: 06/26/15 14:49 · For: Chapter 3: Why Owl post is both a blessing and a curse
“No.” I replied far more quickly and forcefully than I had intended. “No, Harold, I’m really sorry. It’s just, I’m not sure it would be fair on you, seeing as you obviously have some fairly deep feelings for me, and I, well, I don’t.”

This works for a comeback so well, even though someone might think she's saying she doesn't have deep feelings for herself. Harold the Hufflepuff comes across as quite the creeper. Hope she hexes him in a later chapter. That would impress Lucius. ;)

Author's Response: Harold is a weird one. You'll see more of him later (if this fic ever gets finished....erk). You're right, that would impress Lucius.


Name: Kerichi (Signed) · Date: 06/26/15 14:41 · For: Chapter 2: That girl who keeps staring at me
“Look, Thomas, I appreciate your effort to try and pair me up with some random admirer who is two years our junior, but you obviously forgot that I am already going out with Catherine Reynolds. Therefore, if you wish to woo your sister’s friend, please do, but I do not.”

Lucius is quite different than I imagined, too. I liked his plan B: Sarcasm, flattery and reasoning. but the execution of it didn't match the elegance and wit of the plan. It sounded overly wordy and awkward at the very end.

Something I should have caught last chapter is standing out now. Lucius is a year older than Narcissa in canon and Severus is six years younger than Lucius. Are you saying that Lucius is a seventh year, Severus is a first year, and Narcissa is a fifth year but Lucius doesn't know her name although they've been in the same House for five years? That's hard to believe.

Lucius wondering "What if Violet Bullstrode's friend was a wonderful person?" seemed both a very unlike Lucius Malfoy thing to think and implied that he barely knows who Narcissa is, which in pureblood society has to be impossible.

Still reading on.

Author's Response: Ah, yeah, that age thing is a little different to how I'd originally pictured it (is this information from Pottermore?) so I'll have to go back and change that, I guess. Canon ages are really messing up this story now. Some of this is fairly ill-considered in terms of how the characters are going to know each other... whoops. Ah well, thank you for the feedback!


Name: Kerichi (Signed) · Date: 06/26/15 14:16 · For: Chapter 1: My infatuation with a certain Prefect
I finally saw the truth in why Bellatrix always told me that best friends were so annoying.

Cissy the obsessed is so amusing. I have to admit, I expected a much different tone from your summary, and this was a happy surprise. The actress Claire Danes was once in a tv show called My So Called Life with Jared Leto and the few episodes I saw in reruns had this same theme of daydreaming and fantasizing over a heart-stoppingly beautiful boy and I think it will always work as a plot and be instantly relatable, because it's true to life. A lot of girls have had that omg he's so gorgeous I'll just stand here and stare until my friends drag me away or he leaves and my brain can begin functioning again moment.

One thing I noticed was the use of "he" a lot in the first paragraphs. There's no suspense when it's a Narcissa/Lucius story and he's described the way he is with his long blond (blonde with an e is feminine) hair. Narcissa is so enraptured that I can't imagine her not saying, "I saw Lucius initiating firsties at the other end of the table" simply because thinking his name would provoke butterflies as much as watching his hair catch the light. It also grounds the story up front. This is the dream boy, and the narrator is the obsessed girl.

Violet and Letty are interesting foils to the MC. I like your hints that they are acting like her sisters with Letty's Hufflepuff boyfriend and Violet's hissing and giving sharp nudges. The dream was nice foreshadowing. Don't forget to make it happen. Readers will be looking for it. ;)

I think you missed an opportunity when Lucius found out Narcissa's name. He could have noted that she looks nothing like anyone else in her family. Vain as he is, he doesn't even give a second's admiring glance to her hair?

Reading on now.

Author's Response: Oh thanks about the blond/e thing - I've fixed that now. I agree, in hindsight, I definitely should've made more of the timetable scene. Thanks for reviewing :)


Name: SilverDoe_IsoBell (Signed) · Date: 08/30/13 5:07 · For: Chapter 2: That girl who keeps staring at me
Great fic - please update soon!

Author's Response: Thanks very much - I'll try, but I am working on some non HP stuff at the moment too, so it might be quite a while.


Name: Verita Serum (Signed) · Date: 04/06/13 7:54 · For: Chapter 1: My infatuation with a certain Prefect
Liking this a lot so far. You've pulled me from my trio / next gen comfort zones, and are giving me a new perspective on characters I normally dislike. Great job, I am looking forward to future chapters!

--AG

Author's Response: I'm really glad you like this, especially as it's not something you would normally read. I should be back with more soon, so watch this space! Thanks for the review!



Name: Sapphires At Sunset (Signed) · Date: 08/10/12 14:33 · For: Chapter 1: My infatuation with a certain Prefect
Aww! Lovely chapter!~Nidhi

Author's Response: Thanks! I hope tobe back with more soon!


Name: PeppermintToads (Signed) · Date: 08/07/12 2:09 · For: Chapter 1: My infatuation with a certain Prefect
This was a pretty good start! :D I find myself hating Letty already; you characterize everyone very well! The description of Snape made me laugh. Can't wait to hear more from you! :)

Author's Response: Letty's not all bad...she's just that giggly and annoying matchmaker friend that everyone has. Glad you liked it, and thanks for reviewing!


Name: Lost_Robin (Signed) · Date: 08/03/12 15:34 · For: Chapter 1: My infatuation with a certain Prefect
Oh my. Very good so far. I love what you've done with Cissa. Can't wait to see the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks Krista. Next chapter is from Lucius' perspective, so that could be interesting...


You must login (register) to review.