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Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 05/05/15 0:15 · For: China White
Hi, AM,

This is Vicki of Slytherin House again. I’m really impressed by how seamlessly you wove all the required words into your story, so that the sentences in which they appeared flowed effortlessly in the stream of the story.

Your story is full of wonderful lines and little concepts, such as the goblins looting the house, and the broken chandelier still lying on the floor where it had fallen. Yes, the house must have been full of horrible memories. You seem to have entered into Narcissa’s state of mind very well.

I was wondering where Narcissa was, either in her own house with Healers as attendants, or in some kind of inpatient facility, and I finally decided that she was being kept in her own home. She is so frail and beaten down, as if the remarkable strength that she displayed in enduring the horrors of the war time has been entirely spent, and she barely has enough left to keep going on. She had her flaws, of course, but she was also a victim of the war, as you have so clearly shown.

All in all, a very nice story. Thank you for writing.

Vicki


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