Name: Kerichi (Signed) · Date: 07/02/15 20:55 · For: Vincent

Hi, I read your poem a while ago, and I came back to tell you I enjoyed it. The repetition of the opening lines at the end show the difference between being told and experiencing what happened. I especially liked the flow of the third
and fourth stanzas. The longer first lines and
then shorter second and third were like an
outpouring of emotion that trickled down.

The choice of "incendiary smell" was generic instead of evocative, but perhaps you're using it in a figurative, not specific smell triggers memory way.

Thanks for sharing your vision of what happened, and thank you for naming your poem Vincent. It made me think of the Tim Burton poem and inspired me to write an homage. :)

Author's Response: So apparently everything from Mugglenet is getting thrown in my spam folder and I did not see this!!! So sorry. :) Thanks for the review, and I am glad you enjoyed it!

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 06/10/15 17:43 · For: Vincent

Very nice work, Nagini. I don't recall seeing anyone write about the moment of Vincent Crabeb's death, much less about Draco's remembering that moment in the years that followed. What a horrible moment for Draco, despite all the ignoble stuff that he and Vincent had done.

I like your spare use of plain language; the lines are very literal, not particularly figurative, and yet very poetic. This is a subject that needed to be addressed very plainly, stated baldly. Sometimes the most blunt and open expression is the most fitting.

Very good job.

Vicki

Author's Response: Thanks, Vicki. :) When I started this poem, I really did wonder how in the world I was going to pull it off, particularly since I had already been given the title for the Random Song Title challenge. But I knew that I had to talk about this incident, and decided that because Draco watched it happen, it should be from his point of view, and I don't find Draco to be all that eloquent when it comes to poetry. I am sure he could be, but as you pointed out, this was a needless death, something that could have been prevented, and sometimes the best way to show emotion is through blunt, simple statements. I have been exploring that style a lot lately! Thanks again for the review! ~Nagini