A/N: From Harry's view, Hermione is often concieved as a simple bookworm, except for the occasional moments when he notices her wicked streak (such as with the Rita Skeeter fiasco). These moments show that perhaps he shouldn't judge her by the covers of the enormously large books she reads. In this fic, Hermione could be considered OOC to some, but I tried to keep her character within what JKR has given us.

Studying Isn’t Everything


Thursday, November 13, 1997

Dinner

What the hell! Why did I get chosen to have the perfectly horrid life? Today was especially awful, and that’s saying something. I mean, I’m used to everyone being all stereotypical and shallow and shit, but this is ridiculous! Just because I get O’s in all my classes does NOT in any way mean that I am a boring stuffy prude with a stick halfway up my arse! Who do these people think they are?

It started at the beginning of the day, when my “time of the month� came COMPLETELY unexpectedly during charms. I had to ask Professor Flitwick to be excused so I could go deal with it. And I missed the information on Disillusionment Charms! Which means that I now have to get my notes from Harry or Ron, and Merlin knows what chance I’ll have of them being remotely thorough or legible! And to top it off, now I’ve got cramps. BAD ones. And Madam Pomfrey’s out of the potion that helps the little problems associated with visits from Mother Nature. Damn Snape. Too much of a sissy guy to make any more. He so does NOT understand our pain.

Oh, but it gets worse. You know how I’ve had a crush on Ron since about third year, right? Of course you do. I only tell you twelve times a day. And now I’m talking to my diary. Perhaps I’ve gone mental. Anyway, I overheard Ron talking to Harry, and I found out he’s got a new crush. Apparently she’s really pretty and sweet and funny. How the hell can I compete with that? At least I sort of had a chance when he had no one else to fawn over...but I suppose it was always rather pointless. He is extremely hot, with his copper-colored hair all shaggy and in his eyes--which are a striking blue--and that whole five o’ clock shadow thing. And we can’t forget that very nice six pack that I accidentally saw when I walked in on him lifting weights (which has helped him fill out his tall frame rather nicely). Yummy. But seriously, why would a God like that want to be with someone who always has her nose in a book, has little to no social skills, and has the curves of a ten year old?

Later

Apparently I’m not a girl anymore. How wonderful!

Lavender and Parvati were handing out invitations to a huge girls-only sleepover on Saturday night the 29th. Apparently they wanted a chance to 'celebrate the unity of the differnt forms,' but it was pretty obvious they just wanted an exuse to have punch to spike.

They dropped one of the invitations, and it happened to find its way into my History of Magic book as I was reading it tonight (I still don’t understand why everyone assumes that just because I have a book open, I’m studying. I suppose it’s sort of nice sometimes, as it keeps them from bothering me). The invitation said the party was for all of the Gryffindor girls third-year and above. Am I a third-year or higher? Yes, I have been for FOUR YEARS now. Am I a girl? These damn cramps are proving that very question as we speak. But did I get an invitation? No.

No fun and partying for Hermione. She’s much too stuffy and boring to enjoy it. After all, the Head Girl would NEVER want to do ANYTHING that might break the teeniest curfews, or any slight drinking age requirement. And she doesn’t care at all that EVERYONE else is going to be having fun in the Room of Requirement partying until dawn while she STUDIES. Merlin, I hate those bitches. They think that just because I am too lazy to put on makeup every day, or attempt the battle of straightening my hair every once in a while, that I don’t know how to have fun.

I better stop writing now, or I’ll start to scratch a hole in the parchment. Or even worse, they may start to think that I’m working on some extra credit project, thus making me even MORE geeky than I already am. Now all I have to do is join the band.

TO DO

1. Finish copying down the notes from Charms (at least, everything that is decipherable).

2. Discuss the importance of good handwriting with Harry.

3. Find a way to suck up to the bitches and get an invitation to the party.

4. Brew some of that damn cramp potion.

5. Act very sexy (HA!) and win over Ron’s heart.

~~~~~

Friday, November 14, 1997

Potions

YES! I am actually having a good potions class. That has not happened in a very long while.

Professor Snape was talking about the properties of the Polyjuice Potion, and since I already know all of that from when I made it in second year, I didn’t have to concentrate as much. My eyes were free to wander towards a certain someone...and guess what? HE WAS STARING BACK AT ME! When I glanced over at Ron, he turned his head away very quickly, which makes it twice as obvious that he was looking at me. But why? Could he possibly fancy me? Please, pinch me now!

Later, in Potions

Aha. That would be why he was looking at me. You know, a lot of people stare at you, including the object of your unrequited affection, when you have an ENORMOUS amount of porridge stuck in your teeth from breakfast that morning. Lovely. Now he’s going to think that I’m a disgusting slob. This is just great.

You know, I think that Snape can sense when other people are in pain and then he likes to torture them. For example, the way he forces every female in Hogwarts to brew their own damn cramp potion. He is the potions teacher, after all. And now, he’s decided to partner me with Ron for class. Which wouldn’t actually be so bad, if I were not assigned as his TUTOR! Seriously, how am I going to be able to prove my sexiness to Ron when I am his bloody know-it-all TUTOR? Merlin, I hate that bastard Snape.

And I heard Ron talking to Harry again. (When will they ever learn that their voices carry?) He mentioned the girl again, and I heard something about Ravenclaw. Maybe he does kind of like the whole smart thing. But seeing as I’ve been smart the whole seven years he’s known me, and he still doesn’t like me, that probably doesn’t really help me much.

TO DO:

1. Stop nagging Ron to do his homework. It just irritates him.

2. Refrain from raising my hand instantly for every single question. (Even if he does like smart girls for some odd reason, I admit that it is a bit much. It probably intimidates him.)

3. Find out the identity of this girl that he likes and spread some bad rumors about her.

4. Write a lesson plan for our tutor session later. What fun that will be.

5. Get one of those damn invitations.

Transfiguration

Ugh. Does McGonagall not understand that we have lives? (Well, maybe I don’t, but the students in general do.) Now I’ve got to do about two hours worth of Transfiguration, my own potions homework, and helping Ron with his homework at our tutoring session! Merlin, it’s no wonder that I wasn’t invited to that sleepover. I have absolutely no time whatsoever for anything resembling fun (though I suppose it won’t be too bad stuck in an empty classroom with Ron for several hours).

After Dinner, The Dungeons

“So, ‘Mione–“ Yay! He called me ‘Mione! “--What are we going to work on?�

“Um, I suppose we should work on the Polyjuice Potion.�

“Er, I guess you’re right. So, what do I do first again?�

“Ron! You helped me make a batch in second year!� Figures. I made him feel inferior already. Why can’t my stupid mouth just stay shut sometimes?

“In my defense, that was a long time ago! And all I remember is that it turned me into Crabbe. That was not a good reason for me to take a mental note of how to recreate it.�

I couldn’t help but laugh. See, he has such a good sense of humor!

“At least you remember what it does. That’s a good start. Speaking of which, we should probably get a move on before we end up having to stay here until midnight. The first thing you do is add the lacewing flies because they have to brew for 21 days.�

“Okay. I can do that,� he said while starting to add the flies. “You know, ‘Mione--“ He did it again! “--I’m glad that if I have to have a tutor, it’s you. I would be so bored with someone like Malfoy.� He said that name with a shudder. But yay! He said he was glad I was his tutor! It made me extremely happy. Until he kept talking.

“I’m really glad that Snape actually picked one of my friends to help me,�

“Yeah. Me too,� I said stupidly. DUH! Of course he was happy to have one of his friends tutor him. He was NOT glad because he was in love with me and wanted me to tutor him in very kinky study areas. Stupid me.

Why Ron Doesn’t Deserve Me:

1. He’s gorgeous.

2. I am not.

3. He’s funny.

4. I am not.

5. I’m a know-it-all bookworm who has to tutor him and can’t even get an invitation to a stupid slumber party.

And now I’m off to go do more homework. What fun (NOT!). But I can’t help it. I’m an overachiever by nature. It’s going to be a long night....

Stupid Potions Class

~~~~~

Monday, November 17, 1997

Lunch

Argh! I feel like my brain is going to explode! That test was nearly as bad as the exam for our O.W.L.s! Who knew that there could be THAT many questions about the killing of goblins? And being the compulsive perfectionist that I am, I went over it THREE times after I was finished. I better get a good score. Stupid goblins.

At least we have a decent teacher this year. We’re doing more than just reading a pointless book like we did with Umbridge. That is a time that I would NOT like to repeat.

Though what really surprised me was that Harry didn’t show up for the test. It’s really very odd, as he doesn’t normally skip class. EVER. And DADA is his favorite subject! Something isn’t right. I’ll have to figure out what is going on. This is just SO not like him.

Later, Care of Magical Creatures

Ha! I knew something was going on! When Harry finally showed up just before this class, his lips were all red and he had a LOVE BITE! It’s basically hidden by his hair, but I was sitting next to him and I could see it. Mr. Potter has been off snogging someone...but who? Oh, he will be getting a little interrogation tonight! This will be fun...

10:00 pm, Common Room

Harry seems to have had a slight loss of memory. When I asked him about that little hickey he’s got, he just looked around the room as if he had no idea what I was talking about. Oh, but this is in no way over...

TO DO:

1. Start preparing for the next lesson with Ron.

2. Go read the next DADA chapter so as to be more prepared for the next test.

3. Figure out who Harry’s ‘mystery woman’ is and tease him about her.

4. Figure out who Ron’s ‘mystery woman’ is and get rid of her. (Come on, you know I could take her, whoever she is.)

5. Be even MORE sexy than I already am so as to entrance Ron into wanting me.

~~~~~


Tuesday, November 18, 1997

Potions

That bastard Snape. He’s so condescending. Apparently I need to be tested at 10:00 tonight, in the dungeons, to ensure that I am a worthy tutor. Has he never read one of my essays? I mean, he’s the one who gave them all O’s! Why the hell does he need to see me? He already KNOWS I can make potions nearly as well as he can. And now I have to go down to the dungeons when I could be sleeping instead. Grrr.

11:00 pm, Common Room

OH MY GOD! Snape made a damn pass at me! Ugh, it was so disturbing. Extreme icky shivers. I was down in the Potions classroom and I’d just finished my testing. Then he put his hand on my shoulder and said “You’ll do.� He could have been saying it as in ‘You’ll do as Ron’s tutor,’ but he said it in a very innuendo-ey way. He had this hungry look in his eyes. It made me want to just leave right away. Not that that's unusual with Snape... He gave me the uber wiggins. He should NEVER be touching me at all, let alone in the dungeons and with ulterior motives. I just wanted to go far, far away, so I stammered something about having to patrol and ran out. Oh, someone’s coming down. I better put this away.

Later

It was Ron! This is just great (NOT)! He saw me all teary-eyed about what Snape did. (Of course, he had to catch me at the time of the month where my eyes REFUSE to be dry!) He came and sat next to me and wrapped his big, strong, arms around me and let me cry. After I was done, he refused to let me go until I told him what was wrong. As much as I wanted him to make me stay, I told him anyways. He was really creeped out and his eyes went all angry and flashy. He told me he would never let Snape come near me again. Him being all protective of me is SO sexy, but I don’t think he meant it that way. And even though I was melting right then at his nice muscled chest that I got to lean against... woo, went off to dreamland for a moment there.

Anyways, what must he think of me now? Guys are known to be scared of crying girls. And there is no way that he could be un-phased by the creepiness that is Snape. But then why did he stay with me and hold me and let me use his shirt as a Kleenex? Why did he not awkwardly pat me on the back and suddenly have something else to be doing? I’m very confused. And I was weeping just because some teacher put his hand on my shoulder. I mean, it was Snape, and it was extremely creepy and gave me the shivers, but I still think I may have overreacted just a tad. It’s not like he raped me or anything (Why the hell did I write that? So many bad images! *shudder*) I’ll have to go read something to get all of this out of my head.

And I really have to remember to go to the library tomorrow. I don’t like having to pay overdue fines, and that is what is going to happen very soon. Must finish my books now!

~~~~~

Wednesday, November 19, 1997

Herbology

I could get used to this. Neville keeps answering all of the questions right. I can just sit back, do nothing, know all the answers, and end up with a bunch of points for Gryffindor. And it makes me look a lot less geeky when I’m not the one obsessively raising my hand. I like Herbology.

And we’re studying the plant asphodel. It’s used in the Draught of Living Death. How cool would that be? You’d be essentially dead for a couple of days. If someone recorded it all for you, you could see your own funeral and finally be able to answer the ultimate question: Who will cry when you die? It’d be extremely weird, but interesting. Maybe I should do that for my final exam. But I don’t think my friends or my parents would be too pleased with that. And it could go all Romeo and Juliet on me and backfire a whole lot. (Not that anyone would really love me so much that they felt the need to commit suicide upon my death, but still.) That would be not good.

Potions

Snape is giving me very icky looks. Like he’s all hungry and he wants to eat me up. Yuck. But Ron is noticing and giving Snape some looks of his own. Wait a minute...I just reread that sentence and it sounded a little wrong. Let me rephrase: Ron is noticing the looks and glaring daggers back at Snape. He is not pleased. It makes me feel all loved that he’s protective like that. I must remember to make him come with me on the patrols that I have to do alone. If Snape ever tries to corner me or something, he won’t have a chance. HA!

As you can tell, I’m a little bored. And I’m talking to my diary again. (Note to self: The diary does not have a brain, so it’s a tad insane to try to talk to it.) I’ve already finished my Polyjuice Potion as far as I can today. All I have left is to let it stew for a while. And Snape won’t let me help Ron during class time. Thinks it’s cheating or something.

Dinner

I think I may just collapse right now. My recent conversation:

Me: So, Ron, do we have another Potions session tonight?

Ron: No. But speaking of Potions, I noticed the looks that bastard gave you during class today.

Me: Ron, don’t worry about it. I’m probably just overreacting.

Ron: Dunno. You might not be. Just so you know, if he ever does ANYTHING to you, you can come to me and I’ll hex him into oblivion for you. I’m here if you need me.

Me: Um, thanks.

I’m not sure that the ‘thanks’ was understandable, as I said it in the quietist mumble ever. Who knew Ron could be so sweet? I think I’ve gone and fallen in love with him even more. I can’t decide whether to be happy or depressed about that. Because right now, I am absolutely smitten, and if he doesn’t fancy me back, there are going to be some extremely high shrink bills in the future.

News Flash: Hair now refuses to respond to Sleakeasy’s. Must have developed a resistance. I swear, this thing on my head is alive and growing poofier every day. Stupid hair.

Later

He did it again! Harry completely blew off our study session that we had planned. When he came back, he had the grin of someone who had been thoroughly snogged. He still won’t tell me who it is. Darn him. But I suppose it wasn’t so bad, as his abandonment meant that Ron and I had to study alone. I wish Harry had a secret girlfriend more often. I could get used to more alone time with Ron.

And I have made a decision about Lavender and Parvati’s party. I am going to be in denial and pretend that they just happened to miss giving me my invitation and that they want me there. I know the date and time from the one I stole, and they probably won’t even notice that I’m there anyways. (Note to self: Order new pajamas through that one clothes magazine that Lavender and Parvati are always looking at. I don’t think that pink and bunnies will do very well to get rid of the geek image.)

Oh, that’s odd. An owl just flew into the common room. They don’t usually do that. And, of course, it’s coming over to me. An emergency owl late at night can never be bringing good news.

And it’s not. It’s asking me to meet Dumbledore and the Head Boy, Anthony Goldstein, in his office tonight at 11:00. I wonder who’s been attacked now?

Disclaimer-Oops, forgot this at the beginning. Well, as it is already quite obvious, none of this is mine *sniff* (Well, except maybe for Hermione’s personality; don’t think J.K.R. had anyone that insane in the book; but I suppose we have to credit some of the style to Meg Cabot for the Princess Diaries. So it’s still not mine.) Damn, these disclaimer things are really depressing.

The World Has Gone Insane

~~~~~

Thursday, November 20, 1997

12:01am, Bedroom

Aaaaargh! I just got back from Dumbledore’s office, and it was the most humiliating meeting I have ever been to! Do you know for what reason Dumbledore wanted to speak with us in the middle of the night? To give us a freaking SEX TALK! That’s right! A SEX TALK!

Dumbledore: “I’m so glad that you could both make it. I understand that it is late, but I have been meaning to speak with you two about something for quite some time, and I thought it would be best to get it over with.�

Me: “What’s the problem?�

Dumbledore: “Not so much a problem, but a concern. It has come to my attention that the students in your year have been...not sleeping in their proper beds lately.�

Me: “Well, where have they been sleeping then?�

Note to self: Reeeeally stupid question.

At this, Dumbledore looked slightly amused.

Dumbledore: “They have been...sleeping in the beds of other students. Other students of the opposite gender.�

And the light bulb finally went on. Merlin, I am slow. But I was more scared about where this conversation was going than my apparent stupidity.

Anthony: “Sir, I don’t mean to disrespect you, but what does this have to do with us?�

Dumbledore: “Well, I just wanted to warn you. I know that unlike most Muggle schools, we neglect to cover the subject of ‘Sex Ed’. I just wanted to make sure that you were aware of consequences and ask you if others were as well.�

Anthony: “Er, yeah. Most of the people got this talk from their parents, myself included.�

His face went a little red, as did mine, at the remembrance of our respective conversations about the birds and the bees. Dumbledore looked at us with a slight twinkle in his eyes, apparently finding our obvious embarrassment slightly comical.

Dumbledore: “Good. I assumed as much. But I also wanted to ask if you two would try to refrain from such activities. If your hormones will not allow that,�–there was that DAMN twinkle again!–“please, at least use protection, as you two are the representatives of our school. And, if possible, encourage others to do so as well.�

I almost died right there. I was getting the “Condoms Are Good� lecture from DUMBLEDORE! He’s our HEADMASTER, for Merlin’s sake!

Me: “Um, is that all?�

Dumbledore: “Yes. You are excused. Terribly sorry about that; it’s one of the requirements that the Board of Governors gives me. I hope it wasn’t too painful.�

A likely story. Sure, they force him to do it. HA! He was enjoying himself the whole time. He just likes to watch us squirm. Needless to say, it was NOT fun for us. Both Anthony and myself walked back to our common rooms in complete silence.

Transfiguration

This class is much too boring today to stay awake, and staying up until one certainly didn’t help matters. Must keep eyes open...

Lunch

Okay, that’s it. I am just going to have to stalk Harry until I find out who the girlfriend is. He was late to lunch, and his lips were all red and swollen. And he refused to talk to anyone as he ate. Since when does Harry miss food for a girl? I must figure this out. Operation Spy-On-Harry will commence at oh-nine-hundred on Saturday (Damn teachers don’t give me any time on the weekdays with all of the freaking homework!).

Dinner

Ugh! Lavender and Parvati are being so irritating! I was sitting in the Library, just doing my Charms homework, and they sat down at the next table. They started whispering to each other–gossiping, I assume–and giggling. Now, I don’t mind gossiping that much, but I really had to finish the damn essay, and it was hard to concentrate when I heard one of their little outbursts every five seconds. So I had to leave, and there wasn’t really anywhere better I could go. I mean, it was the LIBRARY for Merlin’s sake! Where the hell is Madam Pince and her evil glare when you need her? And now I still haven’t finished the homework. I’m not going to have any free time tonight. Grr.

Later, Common Room

I was playing with my hair earlier while I was reading the new chapter for History of Magic (it’s a really bad habit, but I do it all the time) and it got tangled a little bit. I started mumbling “stupid hair� under my breath, and at the faintest mention of the word hair, Preppy and Popular (more commonly known as Lavendar and Parvati) came up to me. Apparently it was very urgent that they let me know that Sleekeazy’s might help, and that my hair would look even better balanced out with some make-up on my face to “accentuate my features.�

Do they have my frizzy hair? NO, they do not. They have perfect, cooperative hair that falls nice and straight and un-poofy without them doing anything but a drying charm. Hence, they will NEVER understand the woes of extremely curly hair. And why do they not get that I don’t want to put crap on my face every day just to make myself look more “natural�? So they should not act like they are all superior. You know, I never received that memo that made them Queens of the Universe.

But I’m still going to end up going to their stupid party. I think I might be a masochist.

~~~~~

Friday, November 21, 1997

Lunch

Oooh, big news...I’ve just found out that Ginny has a new boyfriend. And it’s Malfoy! Can you believe it? How many times has that prat insulted my Muggle parents, Ron’s lack of money, and Harry’s scar? Well...a lot! And now he’s snogging my best friend’s sister! I can’t say I’m exactly pleased with this. Ron looks a little too much in shock to start yelling. Hopefully they have enough sense to explain themselves before Ron snaps out of his little stupor over there. Though, if they don’t start talking soon, I may have to take over with the lecturing. I’m not liking this right now.

Right After Lunch

Okay, I have some more information. This is still a lot to take in. I need a minute to think about it all...there, much better, I’m back now. According to them, they have been going out for a while, but they’ve had to keep it a secret to avoid Ron’s explosion. (And it’s working so well! HA! Ron has been shouting the whole time I have been writing this. I’m not sure he’s even taken a breath yet!) I’m not quite as worried as I was before, though. It turns out that Malfoy isn’t a Death Eater like I thought (I’m still not sure I completely believe him yet; I’ll be watching him!) Apparently, his dad was giving him a really hard time about it, like with death threats and Crucios and everything, which would really suck. Ginny noticed that he was looking a little depressed lately, and being the nice person that she is, she went to talk to him. And, as they say, the rest is history.

Not that I won’t keep my eye on him.

Five Minutes Later

Okay, this is getting ridiculous! I know that Ron’s not exactly pleased with this whole situation, but does he really have to yell so bloody loud, and the same thing over and over? Goodness, he is really living up to Gryffindor standards. He is roaring at Malfoy like a bloody lion!

Ron: “DRACO MALFOY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO MY SISTER? YOU MUST HAVE BRAINWASHED HER! NOT BELOW THE IMPERIOUS CURSE, NOW ARE YOU?�

Ginny: “Ron! Stuff it! I am NOT under a spell of some sort! I love Draco! He is a wonderful person once you get to know him! He’s just been hiding under his facade to protect himself! He had to follow his family’s image to survive! Do you have any idea what he risked to finally choose to be himself?�

Ron: “OH, BLOODY FANTASTIC! HE’S ON THE RUN FROM VOLDEMORT, WHO WANTS HIS HEAD! THAT MAKES YOU EVER SO MUCH SAFER! ARE YOU BLOODY KIDDING ME? HE WILL ONLY END UP HURTING YOU! I FORBID YOU TO SEE HIM ANYMORE!�

Ginny: “You can’t tell me what to do! I can make my own decisions!�

Ron: “NOT WHEN THAT DECISION IS THE DUMBEST ONE YOU HAVE EVER MADE! NORMALLY, I CAN JUST THREATEN YOUR BOYFRIENDS WITH A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH IF THEY EVER HURT YOU, BUT I THINK I’LL JUST HAVE TO SKIP AHEAD TO THE INEVITABLE!�

Ron lunges at Malfoy with a death glare on his face, Ginny jumps between them, yadda yadda yadda...

Ginny: “Ron! Stop it right now! I refuse to let you hurt the man that I love!�

Ron: “THAT’S RIDICULOUS, GINNY! YOU’RE NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM! HE MUST HAVE BRAINWASHED YOU...!�

You see what I mean? The same thing over and over again. I think I should go and try to get him to shut up, or my ears will be ringing for days.

Later, Charms

You know, I think I’m warming up to the whole idea of them together. It will take some getting used to, but the way Malfoy looks at Ginny...it’s obvious he loves her. I couldn’t see it before, as all he really looked was petrified that Ron was about to tear him from limb to limb. Ron really goes all out when he’s mad. At one point, I believe there was mention of death by a dull shovel. Anyways, they are actually kind of cute together if you ignore the Malfoy-Weasley thing. He went straight away to comfort her after Ron’s little “lecture� was finished. I don’t think he’s going to hurt her.

I do, however, think the world has gone insane. First, Dumbledore is giving sex talks, and now, Malfoy is being NICE! Now all we need are the flying pigs.

TO DO:

1. Be the mediator in this whole Ginny/Draco thing so Ron doesn’t kill anybody. I can’t have my future husband sentenced to life in Azkaban, now can I?

2. FIND OUT WHO HARRY’S FRICKING GIRLFRIEND IS!

3. Prepare the next tutoring session with Ron (making absolutely certain that he will not use any potions to poison the real Malfoy so he can use Polyjuice to turn himself into Draco and break up with Ginny).

4. Figure out a way to trick Lavender into breaking a nail. It will scar her for life.

5. Take out the slag that Ron fancies and get him to fall into my evil trap of seduction...Muahahaha!

~~~~~

A/N: Terribly sorry it took me so long to update this here. I was trying to wait until it was all betaed, but as my beta has gone AWOL, I decided I'm just going to leave it as is.

~~~~~

Saturday, November 22, 1997

Oh-Nine-Hundred-Hours

Operation Spy-On-Harry will now commence. He has exited the common room; I repeat, he has exited the common room.

Oh-Nine-Fifteen

He is now sitting down to breakfast. He is eating some sausages. Oh, wait a moment, now he is glancing around the Great Hall suspiciously. Has he possibly detected my presence? Is he able to sense if someone is using his invisibility cloak? This agent hopes not, or she will be in a spot of trouble.

Oh-Nine-Thirty

The subject is now waiting outside of one of the extra Transfiguration classrooms. He is glancing around the hallway as if he is waiting for someone. It seems that they have not appeared promptly, as he is starting to get slightly anxious. He is pacing and repeatedly checking his watch.

Oh-Nine-Forty-Five

Damn. He’s left. I guess he’s not going to meet her today. I will have to continue this another time. Right now, I’ve got to go find Ron. We were going to the library to read up on Potions (Yay! More time alone with Ron! *squeal*)

10:30, the Library

“I still don’t understand why that stupid git made us write five feet of parchment on the lacewing as a potions ingredient. There’s not that much information written in all the books combined!� Ron said, exasperated.

“See, that’s where is comes in handy to write complex sentences and use longer words.�

“I never went to that Muggle school like you did! No one ever taught me how to write with complex sentences or long words!�

“You could try a thesaurus.�

“A the-what-us?�

“Sorry. Muggle thing. If you look up a word in a thesaurus, it will show you several other words that mean the same thing. It’s a good way to make your essays longer or more interesting.�

“Why was I not told of this dinosaur thing before?�

“It’s called a thesaurus, not a dinosaur thing, and you never asked.�

“Where do I get this thesaurus thing?�

“A muggle bookstore, or you could just borrow mine.�

At this, he looked up at me with the most adorable puppy-dog eyes. Merlin, he is so cute when he begs!

He reached out for the book I had just taken out of my bag, and said, “You know, Lavender and Parvati are so lucky that all of these types of books are just there, in their room.�

He must have noticed the I-need-to-go-kill-something look I had in my eyes just then, because he added, “What’s wrong? What did I say?� He actually looked concerned that he had offended me (*grin*).

“You didn’t say anything wrong. I just don’t like them very much.�

“Yeah, they are a bit loopy.�

“And all they care about is how you look. They’ve never exactly been nice to me.�

“But why not? You’re beau–a wonderful person.�

Okay, I’m one of his best friends, so I would hope he already thinks I’m a good person, but did he just almost call me BEAUTIFUL? RON! Almost call ME beautiful? I think that I have died and gone to heaven. I don’t think he got any coherent help whatsoever from me for the rest of the time in the library. Good thing I’m good at pretending I know what I’m doing.

Later, Outside the Library

“Ugh!�

“Ron, what is it?�

“Ginny and Malfoy! Why the hell are they snogging in the hallway for the whole world to see? Just because I am letting him survive, for now, mind you, does NOT in any way mean that I want to see it!�

I couldn’t help but laugh. He’s so cute when he’s mad. (Though yesterday was a bit much.) But Gin and Malfoy are really going at it. I guess they figured that after telling Ron, nothing anyone else says will be any worse. But seriously, they really need to get a room. Don’t think I should say that to Ron, though. He would probably make it so that Malfoy would never have any reason to get a room again.

Dinner

Damn it. I overheard Ron and Harry talking again, (why the hell do I have such awful timing when I go to find them?) and Ron was talking about how this girl that he fancies is just getting prettier every time he looks at her and how he’s thinking of asking her out soon. This is great, just great. I think I need to do something to distract myself from him.

HOTTEST GUYS AT HOGWARTS SCHOOL

1. Kevin Entwhistle. He's very attractive in a smart kind of way. Being smart is highly underrated; most wouldn't appreciate the look he's got.

2. Harry Potter: He’s almost like my brother, but I have to admit, he is pretty cute.

3. Blaise Zabini: Okay, he is an absolute mixer, and my friend who shall go unnamed should really give up her obsession over him, but he is fine.

4. Sean William Scott: I know, he doesn’t go to Hogwarts, and he is a Muggle actor, but I felt that he deserved a place on the list of hotness.

5. Ron Weasley: Couldn’t help it. I can’t get him out of my head. Even Sean William Scott, who never fails to give me the tingles, didn’t work.

TO DO:

1. Continue working on that plan to crash Lavender and Parvati’s party, preferably managing to “accidentally� spill punch on one of their dresses.

2. Have a little talk with Malfoy and Ginny about the mortal risk of public displays of affection.

3. Continue Operation Spy-On-Harry at the next possible moment.

4. Work on that list of hot guys. I seriously need to get my mind off Ron.

5. In case that doesn’t work, perhaps borrow Ginny's school blouse. It's a size smaller than mine and would fit a little...closer.

A.N: Sorry about the lenghty time between updates; I've just been busy with other things and haven't gotten around to making all my archives up to date. As you'll see in my bio, this is posted elsewhere if you absolutely can't wait for the updates here.

~~~~~

Revelations

~~~~~

Sunday, November 23, 1997

Breakfast

I finished all of my homework on Friday, as per usual, so I am completely free to go stalk Harry again. It’s really been bothering me who his girlfriend is. I want to know! The teasing is ever so much more fun when I have TWO people at which to direct it. *grin*. Oh, wait a minute, he’s muttering what seems like a very lame excuse to leave, and he’s walking out. I’ll have to wait until he’s out of the Great Hall so he doesn’t see me, and then go follow him.

Oh-Ten-Hundred-Hours

He is walking due southeast towards the Transfiguration classroom he went to on the previous day–

Note to Self: Do NOT stub toe on the edge of the corner I am hiding behind while trying to be all stealthy, as it is very difficult not to yell out in pain.

Anyways, he’s going inside of the classroom now to wait.

Oh-Ten-Ten

Someone is walking towards the door of the classroom...it looks like a female, but her back is to me and I am unable to determine who it is. I will have to move and get a closer look.

Oh-Ten-Fifteen

Am now settled directly outside the door. I feel it is too dangerous to look in and risk getting myself spotted, as I was unable to obtain the invisibility cloak today. I will have to gather information on the identity of this person by listening to their conversation.

“I’ve missed you! It’s been a while since I’ve seen you,� a deep voice began (must be Harry).

“It’s only been two days since we’ve been alone, silly! And you’ve seen me in the halls,� a girl’s voice answered with a giggle. It sounded familiar, but I was unable to place it.

“I know, but that feels like a really long time when I’m away from you.�

“You’re so sweet Harry!� I could tell from the momentary silence that Harry was probably blushing at this comment.

“Thanks, Parvati."

Hold on...WHAT did I just hear? PARVATI? Oh, wait a moment, I must go now. I think I let out a gasp of surprise. I’ve got to get out of here before they detect that I was eavesdropping.

A few minutes later, Common Room

I can’t believe that Harry’s girlfriend is Parvati! Of all people! She is only the ditzy-est, cruelest, most looks-obsessed, sluttiest (ah, I’ve got it now) girl in the school! But I still can’t believe it. How could he do that? Especially after the Yule Ball. He didn’t even like her then; in fact, he ignored her the whole time while she danced with someone from a different school. I can’t even think about this right now. This is such a betrayal to our friendship! He knows what I think of her, and how shallow she is. You would think he wouldn’t want someone like that, now would you? I guess I was wrong.

I just looked back at what I wrote, and it sounds as though I’m being a tad hypocritical. I was all for thinking that Draco might be different that I thought he was, and that there may be a better side of him, the one that Ginny sees. And now I’m being all Ron-like about Parvati. Doesn’t make me have to like it, though.

Lunch

I can’t decide whether to tell Ron about the whole Parvati thing or not. I think he’d like to know, but he’d probably end up talking to Harry about it, and then Harry would want to know how he found out. And then I will not be in such a good place. Besides, maybe it’s better he hears it from Harry. But what if he’s really curious as well and is wondering where Harry has been going? I don’t know.

Later, Common Room

Ron and I were sitting and playing Wizard’s Chess (Harry was STILL gone with Parvati), which I was losing quite badly. It’s the one game that I’m horrible at, and he likes to play me all the time because he knows he’ll win. I usually comply, seeing as he gets this ADORABLE smile when he gets a checkmate. He looks really happy that he’s beat me, but at the same time, he’s trying not to smile TOO much because it would look like he was bragging. It’s very cute.

“Ugh, I have Divination tomorrow,� Ron said as he moved the rook over several squares. “I hate that class. Trelawny is almost as bad as Umbridge was, and the fumes don’t help any. And then there’s those two annoying gigglers who are always saying that they saw loads of stuff in the crystal ball. Like they don’t make it all up. It’s enough to make anyone puke.�

I couldn’t suppress my grin at the insults to the two ultimate Bitchy Britches.

“The number charts in Arithmancy starting to look a little better, huh?� I said mockingly.

“I don’t know why I even take Divination. I’d rather help Hagrid with the Blast-Ended-Skrewts again than show up to that stupid North Tower for an hour.�

“So drop it.�

“What do you mean?�

“Drop the class.�

“I can’t believe YOU are telling me to get rid of a class.�

“Hello? Walked out of the room in the middle of a lesson and never came back. Sitting right here.�

“Oh, yeah, I nearly forgot. One of my proudest moments. Almost as good as Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret,�

Did he just say that something I did was one of his proudest moments?? I’m in my happy place now! And the ferret comment certainly didn’t hurt my feeling of amusement.

“And it was worth it,� I added. “That class was complete rubbish.�

“Yeah, but I don’t really have the guts to quit something like that. Afraid of what Mum would say,� Ron said with a little shiver.

“Are you a Gryffindor or not?�

“True, but to be honest, it’s not so much the fear as the fact that it’s an easy O. All I have to do is predict the death of myself and all of my loved ones, and I get an Outstanding.�

“Ah, the REAL reason comes out. Well, if that’s why you won’t dropped the class, I am forced to not feel sorry for you.�

He gave me a little pout (so adorable!) and made his next move with the bishop.

“Checkmate,� he said with the aforementioned smile.

“Dammit.�

~~~~~

Monday, November 24, 1997

History of Magic

I think that Binn’s class today was the most boring one he has ever taught (and that is saying something). You would think that since he’s a ghost, he’s seen some of this stuff and would therefore be able to make it more interesting. But you would be so very wrong. He was talking about some squib five hundred years ago who meddled with magic when he couldn’t really do it properly. He ended up Avada Kedavra-ing himself by mistake. Who really cares? I mean, it’s sad that he died and everything, but it is truly unkind to talk about this one story for an hour. But I ended up forcing myself to stay awake and take notes anyway. Damn my inner perfectionist. The worst part was that he had pulled all of the curtains closed. I couldn’t even look outside while taking my notes as he droned on and on. And talking to Harry or Ron via parchment is always impossible during this class, as they are usually asleep about five minutes in.

Defense Against the Dark Arts

Ooh! Professor Pecera, our new DADA teacher this year, (I don’t think I’ve mentioned her name before. She’s nice.) is holding a little competition. Whoever performs a new, extremely advanced spell, with the most success will be able to go to Hogsmeade for an extra weekend towards the end of December. The spell she chose is called Difesa, and it’s a really powerful spell used for blocking attacks and using them against your enemy. Nothing can get through it except for Avada Kedavra. She thinks that it well help all of us as a general spell, and that this is good motivation for us to practice it.

I personally hope I can do it. The winner gets to go to Hogsmeade with one friend all day on Saturday of the chosen weekend. I’d love to go with Ron, but I don’t know how I’d cover for choosing him over Harry. Oh well, I’ll cross that cliff of doom if I actually win. We’ve only got a week to practice, and I’ve got to be good enough to beat Harry. If he wins, he’ll almost certainly take Ron or Parvati (ugh).

TO DO:

1. Go order some of those extendable ears from Gred and Forge so as to figure out what the hell Parvati is doing dating one of my best friends.

2. Absolutely do not forget to order some new pajamas for the sleepover to replace my current hideous ones...and go ask Ginny for advice on what to choose. Way too many different kinds.

3. Practice that Difesa spell so as to win the Hogwarts trip so as to further entrance Ron into falling in love with me.

4. Inquire about one of those Quick Quotes Quills so that I can sleep during History of Magic like the rest of the class (who always think they can rely on me to tell them what they missed; typical.) and have my notes taken for me.

5. Casually mention the bitchy nature of Lavender and Parvati in front of Harry and see if it makes him angry. Since their relationship is a secret, he won’t be able to do anything about it. Oh, this could be fun.

~~~~~

AN: I was having fun with translations. ‘Pecera’ is ‘fishtank’ in Spanish (don’t ask) and ‘Difesa’ is ‘defense’ in Italian.

Grrr. Argh.

~~~~~

Tuesday, November 25, 1997

Potions

Can’t help but stare at Ron. Potions class always reminds me of the night that he held me while I was crying. It was so sweet and unlike him! Usually, he (and every other guy I’ve ever met) would just stand there and look awkward. Because guys and emotions are not so much connected.... But, as much as he tries to act macho, this is not quite the case with Ron. He’s all romantic and such. Not that I really know that first hand, but the other night proves that there is a sweetie under the dunderhead. Definitely swoon-worthy material.

But I’m very happy, because we have a review session later. He’s even asked me to help him with that spell for DADA. I’ll do it, but I don’t want to try TOO much, because he won’t invite me if he wins. It’ll probably be that one other girl from Ravenclaw, or whatever house it was. Augh, now I’m in a bad mood...okay, Ron, working out on the Quidditch field, shirtless (such a wonderful memory...). I’m better now.

I think a change in subject is in order before I drive myself more insane than I already am.

You know, now that I think about it, Parvati was always gone at the same times that Harry “mysteriously disappeared.� I was a little too angry when I first found out about them to realize that little piece of information. In fact, I’m surprised I didn’t make the connection before I started spying on him. That was a lot of classes where they were both conveniently missing. I am losing my edge. Or maybe I just didn’t want to put together all the pieces. Much too disturbing.

Later

Harry, Ron, and I were all walking in the hallway towards lunch when I decided to have a little fun.

“So, what do you predict in the future for you and this mystery girlfriend?� I asked Harry as snottily as I could manage.

Silence.

“You know, it’s really too bad you weren’t going out with her back in fourth year. You might have had some fun at the Yule Ball instead of falling back on Parvati.�

He twitched a little at the name, but I don’t think he saw that I saw. And he still didn’t answer. Time to pull out all the stops.

“Speaking of which, I’m just glad it wouldn’t be Parvati. After all, she was supposed to be your date for the Yule Ball, but she kept ditching you for those boys from Beuaxbatons. I’m sure you can do better.�

I am cruel. I know. But Harry just pretended he didn’t hear me. Though if I know him at all, it seemed as though he was getting a little jealous glint in his eyes. That’s what he gets for going out with one of the biggest sluts in school and then lying about it. And the thing is, she’s probably cheating on him with some other guy. And I bet she’s only going out with him in the first place because he’s the famous Harry Potter. I hope he doesn’t really like her that much, because my guess is that she’ll end up hurting him. She better not though, or I will be forced to kick her arse (using wands only, of course).

After Dinner, the Library

This really is not a good idea. I’m helping Ron with that Difesa spell, and all I can think about is the Hogsmeade weekend. And how I will ask him...

Ron: “Hey, ‘Mione, congratulations on winning the Hogsmeade trip.�

Me: “Thanks. I was really hoping that I could do it.�

Ron: “I’m not surprised. You’re only the most brilliant girl in our year.�

Me (blushing): “Thank you.�

Ron: “So, have you decided who you are going to take?�

Me: “Well, it’s between you and Harry, of course, and I think it would be fun to go with you.�

Ron: “Really?!�

Me: “Yeah. Besides, he’ll probably end up sneaking there anyways with that cloak of his.�

Ron (looking VERY disappointed): “Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.�

Me (like I would ever have the courage to say this): “See, this way, that gives us an hour or two before he gets there and the same after he leaves to be without he-who-pines-over-his-mystery-girlfriend-about-whom-he-can’t-even-tell-his-friends.�

Ron (with a chuckle): “Brilliant as usual. I can’t wait.�

See? That’s how it should go. Him being all nice and trying to hint around for me to ask him. Because he wants to go with me, alone.

Ha! Like that would ever actually happen. But a girl can dream, can’t she?

Oh, I think Ron’s trying to get my attention. I zoned out for a little while when I started writing this.

Later, Still the Library

Merlin, that was depressing. The best friend that I secretly fancy wanted to talk about how to start a relationship. But not with me. It started with him giving up on the spell, because I had been too out of it to help him.

“So, ‘Mione, you’re a girl right?� he began tentatively.

I just glared.

“Right. Anyways, I was wondering if I could ask your advice about something.� At this point, his face was starting to turn red. He was getting a tad uncomfortable.

“Um, sure. Now that we understand I’m a girl.�

“Sorry about that. It just didn’t come out right.�

“It’s fine. Continue,� I said in a tone making it perfectly clear that it was NOT fine. I then crossed my arms in front of my chest to illustrate my point.

“It seems like you’re mad at me. Are you mad at me?�

“No, of course not,� I said cooly. I was still really pissed that he had to ASK if I was a girl. For Merlin’s sake, I didn’t think even he was THAT thick.

“Well then, um, I was wondering...�

“Spit it out.�

“Okay, er...If you fancy a girl, and you don’t know if she fancies you back, what do you do?� he blurted out quickly.

And now I didn’t know what to do. I mean, I wanted to tell him to go for it, because that’s what you should do if you fancy someone. Otherwise you’ll never know what would have happened. But then if he takes the advice, he’ll end up going out with some other girl. I don’t think I could handle that too well. So I decided to try something else...

“You could find a way to figure out if she likes you. Hey, if you tell me who it is you’re thinking of, I could talk to her for you.� See! This way I can figure out who the bitch is and take her out...

But no.

“I’d rather not say,� he told me.

“Oh.�

“It’s not that I wouldn’t trust you or anything,� he said quickly, “just that I’d rather not have people finding out.�

“But I am your best friend! And besides, Harry knows.�

“WHAT HAS HE TOLD YOU?� Ron said, suddenly becoming very alert.

“Calm down, I just heard you two talking a couple of times by mistake. You should really learn to speak more quietly.�

“WHAT DID YOU HEAR?�

“Like I said, relax. I only heard that you fancied someone. I didn’t hear who it was. If I had, trust me, you would have heard by now.�

“Oh, okay. Good.�

“Why are you trying so hard to keep this from me?�

“No reason.�

I wasn’t going to take that for an answer. I chose to glare a little more.

“It’s sort of something I’d rather discuss with a guy,� was his rather feeble response.

“You’ve only just figured out that I’m a girl five minutes ago! Why would it be a problem to talk to me about it?� I said, exasperated.

“I told you, I didn’t mean that! And I just don’t want you to know yet, okay? Now can we drop it? I’m sorry I came to you. I’ll just go ask Harry.�

“Fine then.� I stomped out of the library.

I am so angry at him right now! He didn’t have to be so mean about not telling me! I am his best friend after all. Sure, I am in love with him and would probably have made his crush regret the day she was born, but he didn’t know that. Argh, he can be so frustrating sometimes. So much for him being a romantic.

But he’s still the sexiest man I’ve ever met. Damn the fluttering tummy that will not go away.

TO DO:

1. Develop a little plan to get back at Harry for not telling us about his girlfriend. (Possibly let Ron know what is going on, or do something to freak Harry out.)

2. Develop another little plan to get back at Ron for not telling me about his crush and to ensnare him into my seductive ways.

3. Win the Hogsmeade trip so as to further develop said plan.

4. Talk to Ginny about getting a ‘family’ discount on Extendable Ears for the slumber party...not so much cash right now.

5. Go buy chocolate. My current emotional upheaval requires chocolate. (Where did you think the money for the Extendable Ears was going?)

~~~~~

He Doesn’t Know That I Know...

~~~~~

Wednesday, November 26, 1997

Breakfast

Oooh, I have just thought of the perfect plan to get back at Ron AND Harry! This will be fun...

Later at Breakfast

I will soon begin the first stage of my plan. To pull this off, I’ve got to make up with Ron and forget about that fight. We’ve got to go back to being friends who hang out together all the time, or he won’t see what I’m doing...

“Hey, Ron!�

“Yeah?�

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for last night. I know you didn’t mean that first thing you said. And I’m sure that there’s a good reason you don’t want to tell me who you fancy.�

“I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to offend you,� he said, looking at me warily, as if he was surprised by my apology. Which is quite understandable, because I would normally be mad at him for about a week following an argument like the one we had. And that is probably the cheesiest apology that I have ever given. But desperate times call for desperate measures. So long as we’re friends again and he won’t be avoiding me.

Now on to the next stage...

Herbology

Phase two of the plan will be the best part. I’ve got to flirt with Harry....

It’s the perfect solution. It will quite unsettling to him, because he doesn’t know that I know who his girlfriend is. He probably thinks that I think he’s given up on her or something, and could therefore believe that I might actually be sincere. And if Ron is witnessing all this and being completely ignored, it will hopefully make him the slightest bit jealous. So that’s it. That’s how I will get back at Harry and ensnare Ron. Brilliant, no?

How perfect. We’re splitting up into threes to work on our Wolfsbane plants. I’m glad that I decided to wear that tighter blouse with my uniform. And I made sure to unbutton the top few....(Not that it really helps that much, as I don’t have a lot to show off.)

“So, Harry, how are the Quidditch practices going so far this year?� I asked as I leaned over him to reach my pair of dragon skin gloves. I felt very slutty while doing so. I've never actually done anything so blatantly flirty before. And despite my lack of chest, it must have had at least some effect on him because he let out a small gasp.

And Ron is giving Harry quite an evil glare. This is going better than I planned!

I didn’t do much else in the way of flirting during the hour, except for perhaps paying Harry a little more attention than usual.

Lunch

How interesting. I’ve just walked in on a little conversation with Harry and Ron (I SWEAR, I do not keep doing that on purpose...I just have really strange timing).

Ron: “What was up with Hermione in Herbology today? She was definitely flirting with you.�

Harry: “I don’t know. It’s really weird. I didn’t suspect she fancied me, or anything.�

Ron: “You’re right. I think she’s gone completely bonkers.�

Harry: “Hey! Just because she might fancy me, she’s gone bonkers?�

Ron just gave Harry a look.

Harry: “You’re right. It’s too creepy. She’s like a sister to me.�

Ron: “Unless..wait a minute...�

Harry: “What?�

Ron: “Unless she’s figured out who your girlfriend is, and that you’re serious about her. Dammit, how’d she do that? I don’t even know who it is.�

Harry: “We don’t know for sure that’s it....� He sounded as though he was trying to think of a less painful reason for my recent flirting.

It didn’t work.

Harry: “I suppose you’re right. That’s got to be it. I bet she’s trying to freak me out or something to get back at me. I don’t think she would exactly approve of my girlfriend.�

Ron: “Oh, really? And why wouldn’t she like your girlfriend?�

Harry: “Shut it. I’m not going to tell you who it is. I’m still mad that Hermione found out.

There was a pause as both were lost in their thoughts for a moment.

Harry: “I’ve got it!�

Ron: “What?�

Harry: “She doesn’t know that I know she knows.�

Ron: “I repeat, what?�

Harry: “I can flirt back with her. She’ll think that I might actually fancy her instead of my girlfriend and get freaked out herself. She doesn’t like to have her plans backfire.�

I didn’t even bother listening to the rest of the conversation. Oh, Harry is so very wrong. I am always one step ahead. My plans never backfire. And HA! He doesn’t know that I know he knows I know. So he will get a little surprise; it will be HIS plan that backfires.

But Ron didn’t sound very jealous. I suppose I’ve got to ignore him a little more next time.

After Dinner, the Library

“Hey, ‘Mione, do you think you could help me with this assignment?� Harry said as he walked up behind me.

Let the games begin.

“Sure. Which one are you working on?�

“The one for Herbology. You know, about the effect that Wolfsbane has on humans.�

Well, that was ridiculous. He probably knows more than I do about that particular herb because of Remus’s...er...condition. I’m certain that he’s doing this simply to try and flirt with me. Well, I'll just have to beat him at his own game.

“That’s simple. When used improperly, it can be deadly, but it has one quite useful purpose. It’s an essential part of most of the best massages. It’s heated into oil, and rubbed everywhere on the body to help the person relax." I said all of this at flirtatiously as I could manage, which probably wasn’t much due to lack of experience, but I hope it was enough.

“Really? That’s fascinating. Who would have thought something so deadly would be used for something so good?� Harry said in what also seemed to be a fake sexy voice.

“It is rather interesting,� I answered with a smile. I decided it was time to stop beating around the bush. “You know, Harry, we’ve been getting really close lately, don’t you think?� I whispered huskily as I stood up so that my face was very close to his.

Ah, there we go. He seemed a tad surprised that I wasn’t backing down after his flirting. I decided to continue.

“And, Harry, since we’re getting so close, I think it would be fun to go to the next Hogsmeade weekend together, just the two of us. Without Ron. What do you say?� After this declaration, I leaned ever so slightly. It worked. He broke.

“Sorry, Hermione. I can’t.�

“Oh, really? And why is that?�

“Because....because...�

“Oh, come on, say it, you’ll feel much better!�

“Because...because...I’m dating Parvati!� he finally blurted.

“AHA! I knew it!�

“Shh! I don’t want everyone to overhear. And Madam Pince is giving us her Look.�

“But still...I knew it!�

“Yes, yes, you figured it out. But please don’t tell Ron. I don’t think he likes her much.�

“What, and I think she is the mother of all saints?�

“Well, no, but you already know and there’s nothing I can do about it. I just hope you can be civil to her. Please, for me.�

“I’ll consider it. Oh, by the way, you do know that I am attending her slumber party this Saturday, right?�

“What?� he said with a hint of panic. “But you weren’t invited!� He then looked very guilty, as though he said something he shouldn’t have.

“Ugh, I knew that wasn’t just a mistake. I found one of the invitations on the floor, and it was directed at all girls third year and above. So I decided to go anyways, if only to see whether or not they even noticed I was there. But she really deliberately chose not to invite me? How rude. It wouldn’t kill her to have one person who actually enjoys proper knowledge at the party.�

“Hermione...� Harry said warningly.

“Okay, I’ll be quiet now. But you can’t tell her that I’m coming. Please, Harry, for me,� I said, using the same tactic he had just a few minutes earlier.

“Alright,� he decided reluctantly. “I won’t tell if you promise not to do anything to embarrass her at the party.�

“I promise.�

And it’s true. I’m not going to embarrass her at the party. I’m just going to gather information so as to embarrass her at a later date.

TO DO:

1. Find another way to make Ron jealous, because this way certainly didn’t work.

2. Now it is imperative. I must find a way to get some blackmail information from Parvati, or at least find out how she really feels about Harry.

3. Find some time to practice that damn spell so I am ready to perform it on Monday.

4. Get a new school uniform. Mine has become a tad too small, what with all of the chocolate eating...it really is an evil habit.

5. Go talk to Ginny about what kinds of things she thinks we will do at the party so I can prepare. I knew I was lacking in the 'girly knowledge' department before, but it really hit me when I said it to Harry. I don’t mind being a little out of it, but I don’t want to be completely clueless.

And So it Begins...

~~~~~

Thursday, November 27, 1997

Arithmancy

Bored, bored and more bored. I will probably be considered insane for the upcoming confession, and I would be forced to agree. But still.

Anyway, the thing is, I’m getting terribly bored of school. Not because I’m sick of the routine or the people here. Not because I need a break from the work. Not because I’m ready to scream from stress. But because of the extreme LACK of work. I know, it’s very odd. But our teachers have decided to give us a small break from schoolwork for the moment. Which wouldn’t be all bad, but the break is during the classes. That’s right, our teachers can’t get their lazy arses in gear to come up with a couple of measly lesson plans. So we usually end up with a half hour free at the end of class. Like right now for example. The catch is that we have to stay in the classroom. Every day. Four or five times. Doing nothing. There is only so much amusement one can get from get from a single paper clip! I swear, I am about to crack from boredom. It really is ridiculous.

And the work that we do at the beginning of class has gotten easier too. I wouldn’t mind the break from thinking so much if we actually did some in the first place. Harry and Ron aren’t even in this class, and when we do have the same one, they never end up being placed next to me in . So it’s not as though I can talk to my friends. And I’ve already read most of the good books in the library. It’s getting harder and harder to find a decent new one. I think I should send out for more from Mum and Dad.

And now I’ve just reread that. This is why I’m considered so uncool, isn’t it?

~~~~~

Friday, November 28, 1997

Lunch

I’m starting to panic just a little bit now. I wasn’t worried about this party tomorrow, but after talking to Ginny, I’m getting a little nervous.

So, what is this thing they call “Truth or Dare?� I’m going to have to sit there and tell them personal things about my life or end up doing something extremely stupid and embarrassing? Remind me why I decided to go to this thing in the first place. Oh yes, to see if they notice I’m there and to get a little dirt on Parvati. I must just remember the ultimate goal: Parvati’s eventual humiliation.

Oh, and guess what? The Extendable Ears came from Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes! I suppose if worse comes to worst, I can always just hide somewhere and listen to everything without having to participate.

Okay, I’m calm now. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.

Dinner

You know, I’ve just noticed that Ron has been acting a little colder to Harry and me than usual. We gave up the flirting after that night in the library, so I don’t know what’s up.

“Ron?�

“Yes?� he said icily.

“Um, I was wondering, are you mad at me and Harry for something? You’ve been acting a little weird the past few days.�

“No, I’m fine. And so are you and Harry. We’re all fine.�

Um...okay. That was odd.

“Hey, Hermione?�

“Yeah?�

“Are you and Harry going out?�

“What?� That question threw me off a bit.

“Are you and Harry dating?�

“Of course not, what gave you that idea?� I decided to give up on making him jealous. If his coldness since the initiation of my little plan was any indication, he seemed to already be jealous anyway. I suppose it might have actually worked....

“I dunno. You two just seemed a little closer in Herbology on Wednesday, and I was curious.� He almost sounded relived as he said this. Hurrah! He’s glad I’m not dating Harry! We’re just going to pretend that it’s because he wants to be the one to date me, not that it would be weird to have his two best friends dating.

“No. There is absolutely nothing going on between me and Harry. He has a girlfriend, remember?� I reminded him.

“Yes. By the way, who is it? I know you know.�

“I can’t tell you. Not yet.�

He almost looked hurt.

“Why not?� he asked–with the puppy dog eyes, no less.

“Don’t give me that look. I just think that you’d only be mad at him because she’s not the best person to date.�

“I’m already mad at him for not telling me. I don’t imagine that this would make it any worse.�

“Fine. But you must promise not to tell anyone, not even Harry.�

“So...?�

“It’s Parvati Patil.�

“WHAT?�

“That’s what I said.�

“But that’s ridiculous! I mean sure, she’s sort of pretty, but she’s way too prissy and she’s a complete idiot who thinks Trelawny is right! Besides, she’s probably dating two other guys at the same time! What is he, stupid?�

“That’s what I said.�

“We’ve got to do something...wait a minute,� he added, breaking out of his little rant. “How did you find out about them in the first place?�

“That’s not important. The important thing is that I’ve got a plan...�

“Good. When you’ve got a plan, it always works.�

I love it when he says things like that.

~~~~~

Saturday, November 29, 1997

Lunch

Okay, starting to hyperventilate. Breathe Hermione, breathe.

I do NOT do well in social situations. What I’m about to do is just starting to hit me. Gah! I must calm down so Ginny can help me get ready for the party tonight. I’m off to attempt to look blend-in-able. Good luck to me. I’ll need it.

Later, the Dreaded Party

And so it begins...*deep breath* I’m okay...this isn’t so bad...all of the girls are just standing around talking. Parvati made a deal with the teachers to close off the common room to anyone who wasn’t coming, so we haven’t been interrupted by anyone who wasn’t supposed to be here (besides me).

A few girls have approached me to talk, even some that I don’t know. I’m glad I look approachable, but I don’t like talking to people that I’m not already friends with. Which is slightly contradictory, as I always complain about how I wish I had more friends and would fit in better. Which then contradicts not caring what people think of me. Which then contradicts my fear of coming off insane to new people. Which I usually do. Like now, for example.

Thank Merlin Ginny has been standing here the whole time instead of talking to her friends from sixth year. She has many. But she’s being nice and helping me feel a little more comfortable. Probably because she knows that I will chicken out and leave if she doesn’t.

Later Still

We’ve just played “Truth or Dare.� I must say, I absolutely despise the game. If anyone had picked me, I would have probably put my wand to my head. Honestly, they ask the most ridiculous questions, such as, “So, who’s the guy that you fancy?� I mean, who would want to tell the whole of Gryffindor house who they have a crush on? I would die if they all knew I was in love with Ron. The teasing would never end! And they’ve promised that we’ll play it again later, so we can do some Dares. No one picked it this time. I’m screwed.

Even Later

“So, Parvati, you’re dating Harry?� I heard from across the room where I was standing and pretending I was having fun. This was it! I surreptitiously moved a little closer to them, positioning myself behind a nearby plant.

“Yep,� she answered with a giggle. I hate giggles. They are so annoying.

“So, what’s it like?� asked her ditzy friend, who couldn’t seem to say anything unless it began with the word ‘so.’

“Well...�

TO DO:

1. Continue listening to this conversation...which I will have to write about in the next installment so I can pay full attention now.

2. Make sure to tell Harry what happens.

3. Piss him off by telling Ron first.

4. Find Ginny after I get my information to tell her I am leaving this pathetic excuse for fun.

5. Attempt to get rid of the inferiority complex of mine that became extremely obvious tonight. (Ha! Like that will ever happen.)

~~~~~

The Plan

~~~~~

“So, Parvati, you’re dating Harry?� I heard from across the room where I was standing and pretending I was having fun. This was it! I surreptitiously moved a little closer to them, positioning myself behind a nearby plant.

“Yep,� she answered with a giggle. I hate giggles. They are so annoying.

“So, what’s it like?� asked her ditzy friend, who couldn’t seem to say anything unless it began with the word ‘so.’

“Well...�

~~~~~

“Well...you know I’ve always wanted to properly date the Boy Who Lived. Though it was really cool to go to the Yule Ball with one of the champions, it still wasn’t as though we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Now that we are, I suppose he’s kind of dull like I expected. But it will be worth it if it gets me noticed.�

AHA! I knew it! The bitch! She was just using Harry to get herself some publicity! Well, she’s got another thing coming. I will make sure that he has dumped her before anyone even knows about their little relationship. Or, better yet, I will get Harry to dump her in front of everyone in the school...yes, that’s definitely much better. She’ll be noticed alright...

Later

“Psst, Gin,� I whispered.

“Yes, Hermione? Is there a particular reason you’re hiding behind that plant while talking to me?� she said with one of her eyebrows raised.

“Of course. I need to leave the party, so I don’t want anyone to come up and talk to me.�

“Right, because no one will want to come see why the hell I’m talking to a plant.�

“Exactly. Thanks for everything, Gin.�

“Oh, you mean risking everyone thinking I’m nutters?�

“Sure. That too. But mostly for forcing me to come to this party. I’ve gotten a confession from Parvati recorded on my wand!�

“Good for you. Now go. People are starting to look.�

With that, I left to go find Ron and start planning.

11:00, Boys Dormitory *grin*

“Ron! Wake up!�

“‘Mione? What the hell are you doing here? I was sleeping!�

“Yes, Ron, I noticed. Now get up. I need your help.�

“With what? Why can’t it wait until tomorrow?�

“Because. It can’t.�

“Don’t dodge the subject. I am not getting out of bed until you tell me why you’re in here waking me up at eleven o’ clock at night.�

“I’ve just gotten a confession of Parvati’s evilness.�

“How wonderful. Now why can’t it wait, again?�

“Because.�

“Right.�

I slipped out of the dorm just as he started to get out of his bed.

11:04, Common Room

“Okay, so what are we going to do?�

“We are not going to do anything. You, however...�

Ron groaned. “As brilliant as you are, I can’t help but be slightly scared of what you’re going to tell me.�

“No need to be scared. Harry will probably forgive you eventually,� I said with a mischievous glint in my eye. He must have picked up on it.

“‘Mione, are you okay?�

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be? We’re about to humiliate Parvati in front of the entire school.�

“Um, because you’re acting a little...how should I say this...insane.�

“That’s beside the point. Okay, the first thing you’re going to have to do is...�

One plan explanation later...

“You want me to do WHAT? Harry is going to murder me, cut up my body into little tiny pieces, and feed them to the giant squid!�

“Come on, it’s a necessary part of the plan. Like I said, I’m sure he’ll forgive you eventually.�

“He can’t forgive me when I’m dead!�

“Relax. You’ve got to suck it up, because we have to do it tomorrow at lunch or the recording will fade.�

“Fine. I’ll do it. But you owe me....� He looked at me wearily.

“Of course,� I said with a very innocent look on my face. One that said I did not just come up with a very evil plan that could humiliate one of my classmates and betray one of my best friends.

~~~~~

Sunday, November 30, 1997

Just Before Lunch

“So, are you ready?�

“Yeah, but could you show me the spell one more time? I don’t want my wand to decide to conjure up a tap dancing spider or something instead.� He gave a little shudder.

“Sure. It’s Mostrare Il Passato,� I told him, “and don’t forget to swish and flick. Oh, and make sure you are pointing clearly at my wand.�

“Okay...Mostrare Il Passato...Mostrare Il Passato...Mostrare Il Passato,� I heard him mutter as he left the room to go to the Great Hall. Oh, this is going to be good.

Lunch

“So, Harry,� Ron started tentatively. I looked at him and smiled to give him support.

“Yes?�

“I know who your girlfriend is.�

“What? How?� he stammered.

“Hermione,�

Harry just glared at me. I shrugged my shoulders. “It slipped,� I said, with an angelic look on my face. He just kept glaring.

“Well, who is it then?� Harry asked, “I want to make sure she’s told you right.�

Ron leaned over and whispered something to Harry, apparently having the tact not to tell the whole table. How boring of him.

Harry just kept glaring. I took that to mean we were right.

“All right, so now you know,� he said. “What do you think?�

“Um...I think you should...er...�

“Spit it out.�

“Ithinkyoushoulddumpher,� he mumbled.

“What? I can’t tell what you said?� Harry said, sounding slightly annoyed.

“I think you should dump her.�

“Really, now?�

“Um, yes.�

“Well, in that case, perhaps I should take your advice and dump someone–you.�

Ron looked very uncomfortable with the whole situation. I had to look at him and nod before he would continue with the plan. I felt a little bad for making him do this, but I couldn’t perform the spell on my own wand. It wouldn’t have worked.

“Harry, I’m really sorry for this, but I have to do it.�

Ron took a deep breath and said the spell.

“Mostrare Il Passato...�

TO DO:

1. Make sure that the damn spell worked properly.

2. Figure out a way for Harry to forgive us when this is all over. I should probably start right now, as that could take a while.

3. Be there to comfort Ron when Harry disowns us until aforementioned plan works. (The one in TO DO number two, not the one that is already in process.)

4. Set up a time to meet with the House Elves after this is all over, because I don’t think I’ll be getting around to much lunch.

5. Relax and pray that everything will work out.

~~~~~

AN: “Mostrare Il Passato�–Italian for “To Show the Past�

A Touch of the Evil

~~~~

Ron took a deep breath and said the spell.

“Mostrare Il Passato...�

~~~~~

I held my breath, wondering if it would actually work. At this point, we were getting quite a few stares from the others in the Great Hall, and I didn’t feel like further embarrassing ourselves by failing. I was a little worried, because as much as I love Ron, he’s still not the best with spells.

But he didn’t let me down. A few moments later, a small pink puff of smoke rose from my wand. It crept up to the middle of the room, high enough for everyone present to see. Then the smoke started to morph into a more distinct form: Parvati.

Her extremely shrill voice began to ring throughout the Hall. “Well...you know I’ve always wanted to properly date the Boy Who Lived. Though it was really cool to go to the Yule Ball with one of the champions, it still wasn’t as if we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Now that we are, I suppose he’s kind of dull like I expected. But it will be worth it if it gets me noticed.�

Harry just sat there, staring at the now-dispersing cloud. His mouth was slightly open in disbelief. The confusion on his face slowly turned to anger as he gradually angled himself so he was facing the real Parvati.

“Is that really what you think of us?� he said, giving her a look that did not allow for lies.

She remained silent.

“Well then, you’ve gotten some attention now. I hope you enjoy it, because I’m sure that it will not last long. We’re finished.�

Harry stood up mechanically and made his way out of the hall.

I figured it might be wise to follow him so he didn’t have time to stew, so I got out of my chair and did the same.

“Um...� Ron began, trying to cover up the awkward silence that had taken over the hall, “Ignore us. Really. Don’t worry about the cruel heartless person that has crushed poor Harry. Continue with your meals.�

He then exited with a flourish, his dramatic personality getting the best of him.

Later, Common Room

“Harry?� I asked tentatively as I approached his place near the fire.

“Do I know you?�

“Um, I know you’re probably a little mad at us for that, but–“

“A LITTLE mad? Does this look like the face of someone who is a LITTLE mad to you?� He said this while giving me a glare that could have melted ice, had there been any to melt.

“Okay, so you’re a lot mad. But we were only doing it for your own good.�

“My own good is being humiliated in front of the entire hall?�

“Well, that might have been more for Parvati’s embarrassment–“

“And you couldn’t have given me any sort of warning that you were going to do this?�

“Harry, I’m sorry, I just didn’t think that you’d go through with it if we told you. And she deserved it.�

“Maybe you’re right, but I didn’t.�

He shifted so he was no longer facing me. I took that to mean the conversation was over.

Five Minutes Later

“That didn’t quite go as well as I had planned,� I said, sitting down next to Ron just outside of the Fat Lady’s portrait.

“Oh, it worked perfectly. You’d already factored in time for Harry to want to kill us. It was a given.�

“I know, but still, I hope he doesn’t stay angry too long.�

“He won’t. He just needs time to get over the shock.�

“How insightful.�

Ron just blushed a little, and being male, very quickly changed the subject.

“So, we’ve got to do that spell in DADA tomorrow, don’t we?�

~~~~~

Monday, December 1, 1997

DADA

I’m just a tad nervous about this spell right now. (That would be the sarcasm talking. It’s more like I’m a lot nervous.) It’s nearly my turn to go and perform it. I have to win this thing. If I don’t, I won’t be able to spend a weekend in Hogsmeade, just Ron and me. And at the rate we’re going, I won’t even need an excuse to pick him. Harry simply won’t be talking to either of us yet.

Five Minutes Later

Thank Merlin that’s over. She just had me put up the shield and threw a couple of spells at it. Nothing serious, just a few well placed Jelly-Legs Jinxes. They couldn’t get through, so I think I did all right. I’m always afraid that I will completely mess it up, so I’m glad it went well.

We won’t know the winner quite yet; there’s still a couple of people that have to go. I hate waiting.

Oh, change of plans. I guess she went through the last few people quickly, because she’s ready to make the announcement.

“Class, settle down. You’ve had nearly an hour to talk, that should be sufficient for now.�

Most of the people in the room actually sat down, anxious to see who would get an extra trip to Zonko’s and Honeydukes.

“You’ve all done well, but there was one person whose shield didn’t let a single spell through.�

I had to try very hard not to squeal at that, because she had to have been talking about me. My spell was a little shaky, but it blocked everything.

“And the winner is...Miss Hermione Granger!�

There was a slightly mixed reaction. Harry just glared at me, as he had been doing for the past twenty-four hours. Ron was smiling and clapping. He probably knew he was the one I would be taking due to Harry’s recent moodiness. From the rest of the class, I got a mixture of light applause, groans, and “she’s such a know-it-all.�

But that didn’t really matter. Because I was excited enough not to care. It was actually rather amusing. The people who were groaning were the ones who probably weren’t even able to pronounce the spell in the first place. It’s their own fault, really.

Right now, I’m a little loopy. I’m going to get to spend a whole day in Hogsmeade, with Ron, alone. I don’t think the day can get much better.

Lunch

“‘Mione, that’s brilliant! You’ve won!� Ron said right after class was let out.

“Thanks,� I replied, in what I hoped was a modest voice. I’m not very good at containing my excitement when I’ve done well.

“So, who’re you going to take?� I noticed that he said this with his best puppy-dog eyes.

“I haven’t decided yet.� My voice held an obvious air of mock aloofness.

“Well, you know, Harry is mad at you right now.�

“Yes, he is. It’s a good thing that Hogsmeade isn’t for another two weeks, now isn’t it?�

I love playing with Ron’s head. He actually looked disappointed as he started eating with a frown. Ron never has a frown when there is food. I suppose I should be nice....

“I’m just kidding. I’m going to take you. Otherwise, I’d have to deal with Harry’s brooding the whole time, and I did not bust my butt off working on that spell to not have fun. So that’s that.�

He looked considerably more pleased. Yay.

TO DO:

1. Make yet another attempt to talk to Harry. Perhaps he will accept a homework bribe.

2. Go talk to Professor Pecera about whether we will be forced to have a chaperone. We did learn that defense spell, after all.

3. Observe Parvati to make sure that she was properly humiliated in the Great Hall. Being very inconspicuous, of course. And come up with additional evils if she doesn’t seem affected.

4. Talk to Ron some more about how I’m in love with him and I can’t wait to be alone with him in Hogsmeade...just kidding. I am attempting to embarrass Parvati, not myself.

5. Work on not saying things like #4 by mistake during the weekend, as I tend to babble. Like now.