Chapter 1:: Peeves Mind

::Inside Peeves Mind::

Hm, I only have an hour until the new kids come. What will I do? Should I do water balloons? No, no I already did that one, how about….

I got it! I will... No, no still not good enough.

You know what I have the perfect plan! Here’s my plan:

(1.) I get Professor Snape to come yell at me because stole some more of his potion. Hehe

Then….

(2.) Then I start singing the song that annoys the living day lights out of him!

Then…

(3.) Then dump water balloons on Professor Snape!

Ok, end of plan.

Just maybe from all the water balloons, it will wash the grease out of his hair. Hehe, I am so bad. Yet who said a poltergeist has to be nice? Wait I am simply just having fun! Ha!

.:.:. 7:00 p.m. First years are arriving .:.:.

Snape is chasing me, ok here it goes…

Snapey poo how I love my Snapey poo
Wait why would I love someone that cries boo hoo?
Greasy hair, and crooked nose
And his overly large clothes
I wonder what is under all of those clothes
Well, who knows!

I have Snape’s potion
I wonder what will happen when I do this little motion?
Oh no, it fell
And it cracked!
Oh no now it’s broken!!

“Peeves!!!!� Snape yelled.

Haha, look at how mad he is! Haha, this is hilarious!

Ok, now it’s time for a little devious activity called “ Wipe all the grease away from Snape’s hair!� This ought to be fun; ooh this ought to be good!

“Snape, I am sorry. But I have something for you!� Haha, three two one. Pull the string!

Haha, all the water balloons hit directly on Snape’s head! Haha, it was so funny you should have seen his face! Wait you couldn’t!

Haha, oh my how funny! All the ickle little first years are laughing! Oy how funny! I am so bad!

Haha, that was good! I have fun when I am bad! I wonder what I should do next! Well, I think I should run first! Here comes the Bloody Baron!

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Hm, first day of classes. What should I do? Ok, let’s look at page seven of my list of things of bad things to do!

Things of bad things to do!
Page Seven::

(35) Put gum in someone’s hair ( check )

(36) Trip someone

(37) Put gum in door knobs ( check )

(38) Stick a knifler in Snape’s office when Snape isn’t looking

(39) Put gum on the steps

(40) Send a fake note to a teacher ( check )

(42) Stick gum on the seats in the Great Hall

(43) Give one of the teacher’s hell… Maybe Snape.

(44) Give dirt flavor gum to a student

(45) Demand money from a student ( check )


Haha, number forty-five was a classic! I made the little kid cry for ages! He had to be sent to Madam Pomfrey. But that’s not even the best part! I went into the Hospital Wing at night, around three a.m. and I sat on the pillow and started to poke him...poke…poke...poke…poke…poke… and then finally he woke up and screamed! And then I told him to be quiet or else I would hex him! Ha! And he bought it! He’s a fourth year now and is still scared of me. I crack myself up…

Hm, nothing exciting on that page…Let’s go to page one hundred….

Things of bad things to do!
Page one hundred:

(109) Give a student a cupcake with a baby flobberworm in it ( check )

(110) Put gum on McGonagall’s back

(111) Put a kick me sign on a first year

(112) Steal a copybook and put gun on every page so it’s stuck together

(113) Steal someone’s Christmas gifts ( check )

(114) Chew Droobles Blowing Gum so that there are bubbles everywhere in the Great Hall

(115) Annoy the living day lights out of Potter and his friends

(116) Take gum and stick it on a toilet seat

(117) Pee on a kid

(118) Chuck rolls at people going down the steps

(119) Let a bunch of Hagrid’s idea of ‘safe animals’ into the school while Dumbledore is giving an important yet boring speech

(120) Stick gum on the trophies in the trophy room

(121) Pee on the steps ( check )

Hm, let’s see I have made fun of Potter plenty of times, it’s just that it’s too much fun to cross off. I don’t feel like doing anything with Potter. But Potter’s friend, the muggle, the know-it-all…now there’s an idea. How about if I take her notebook and put gum on all the pages. She will freak! She won’t be able to study in her notebook, then when she finds it by the Gryffindor portrait hole, which it will just so happenly be there by accident she will get so mad because of the gum!

Yay! I have the best ideas. They are the best of the best! Muahaha! Brilliant plans! I am so bad! My plans are brilliant and I am so bad! Oh I crack myself up!

A/N:: Ok, so Peeves is bad, but in a fun way…But what will happen to Hermione’s book? Review please!

Chapter 2:: Snape vs. Peeves

Oh my merlin! The funniest thing just happened. Well the funniest day, ok here it goes.

At nine o’clock the seventh years where taking a test in Snape’s class so I went in just to annoy him. Oh what fun that was, literally. Well, I started to follow behind Snape making finger movements and such behind his back. The class started to laugh and I just sat there behind his back trying my hardest not to laugh.

“Shut up all of you and do your test,� Snape spat. Well the class didn’t listen as I mimicked him. By pointing my finger and putting my hand on my hip and making my mouth go up and down. He had no bloody clue either what in the world was going on!

It was bloody funny. The class quieted and I just followed Snape around the class as he wandered, and he wanders way too much. The class giggled every now and then and Snape just was not getting what was so funny. So I put my hands behind his head and pretended he was moose. Haha, that made the class laugh so hard.

Snape is so thick not to realize what was so funny or that I was behind him. He is the thickest git that I ever met, well not exactly met, more like made fun of. I swear, by now he should of realized something. Well, he didn’t and so I just held in my laughs. So he wandered some more about the class with me following, I am just so bad. Than I noticed that the bell hadn’t rung and it was going to in about fifteen minutes. So I thought I would do something really funny, I slapped his butt. Yes I slapped Snape’s butt so what? Than I took a book and slapped him on the butt again, well a fair few more times. Oy I am so bad and not to mention funny. I was laughing so hard!

“PEEVES! PEEVES! YOU ANNOYING IMBASUL!� Snape yelled and turned around, except I was above him, the retard. And I dropped the book on his head. He looked up but I was behind him, the idiot, and I took a cup of the potion that the girl next to me was making and threw it on his butt to make it look like he wet himself. Yes well that was a stupid idea, yet it was mean and hilarious! The seventh years were making a disintegrating potion. Well, you can imagine what happened to his robes.

Yes his robes disintegrated, but than he was wearing pink boxers. Now that was funny! Ha! And they read, ‘Wow! Am I Hot Or What In Satin?’ Haha, everyone was laughing so hard, but not as hard as I was!

Than the bell rung and Snape fixed his robes, yes unfortunately the git actually remembered how to use a repairing charm. Well, he chased me out of the classroom, more like his dungeons and he the stupid git forgot that I could fly. Duh! Anyway, I stopped in the Great Hall in the air too and he was jumping up and down trying to catch me. Haha, but he couldn’t, ah the joys of being able to fly! Yay! Anyway I was just sitting there laughing and pointing at him. The noise stopped and everyone turned and looked at Snape as he made a total abysmally foolish person out of himself.


People started to laugh along with me but Snape just kept trying to catch me. He is so thick that he didn’t even think to use magic. I think that he was just so mad; yes well he continued to jump up and down up and down trying to catch me. I swear and I thought Crabbe and Goyle were thick? Even they would of thought to hex me.

Anyway I decided to tease him by going down when he was going down and then hovering back up when he came up. Now that was funny because he got aggravated and almost tried to do a double jump, and he even tried to stay in the air. Haha! I crack myself up sometimes. Well this went on for a full five minutes and he didn’t let up, and so I continued to laugh and tease him.

The students did not even think about getting up and leaving, it was so funny. People just stood there and laughed. Snape had no idea that he was making a fool of himself. But I had a great idea on how to make him even madder and also how to humiliate him.

“Here you go Snape pull my leg,� I said to him and lowered down.

“You giving up? You freak of a poltergeist! You giving up?� Snape spat.

“Oh yes. I just can’t stand to see you make a fool of yourself even more,� As I lowered down even more.

I swear this guy is so thick that he actually grabbed my leg without thinking. I mean hello I am the one that pulls pranks in the school.

Anyway the retard pulled my leg to lower me down and so I peed on him. Yes I peed on the potions master! Haha and how funny it was! I was laughing so hard and the Hall broke out into a fit of laughter.

Oh my merlin how funny it was! I was crack myself up. He was bearing his teeth like a dog and just walked out of the Great Hall, I just hovered off to place the know-it-all’s book by the Gryffindor Common Room so that she can scream her little head off. Oh I crack myself up, oh how I do.

A/N:; Now we all know how bad he is. But the part about him actually peeing on someone happened to me. Yes, my brother peed on me before, but it was just because he was sleepwalking… Anyway review please and tell me how the story is going! And if you have any maliciously evil ideas on what to do next just e-mail them to me! Review!!

Moderator:: On my Word Document, it says that this story is 822 words long. Excluding my Author's Note and this note. I don't write them on my Word Doc.

Chapter 3:: Hermione’s Rotten, Don’t Want To See Anymore Pranks, Day

Hermione started to walk up to the commonroom.

Oh look at her! She’s going to freak Peeves thought to himself. She will never see me now all I have to do is not laugh.

Oh this is good; she’s coming closer…and closer…ha! She found it, and now for the….

SHE SCREAMED! Haha, maybe a few “sympathetic� words would be good.

“Oh lil Granger-know-it-all, I am so sorry. Who would do this?� I asked.

“PEEVES! Did you do this?� Granger-know-it-all asks me.

“Why lil Granger-know-it-all, why would I do such a thing?� I asked in a childlike voice.

“Because you are mean, deceiving, fool, rude, little…monster!� Granger-know-it-all yelled at me.

Oh was she becoming mad!

“Oh now that’s not nice. I don’t even know what’s wrong,� I said trying to sound like I had to bloody clue what was going on.

“YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL WHAT’S WRONG!� the little know-it-all yelled once again.

“OH! I am so sorry, bookworm, but I have no clue,� I said, smiling.

“You took my notebook when we I was in the library. You were spitting spitballs into my hair. Than Madam Pince came over and yelled at me, BECAUSE OF YOU! And than when I started to pack my bag I noticed that I was missing a notebook. YOU took it! Than you took you twisted, mischievous mind and you – you – you,� bookworm started.

“What did I do, know-it-all?� I asked. I knew these names were driving her up the wall.

“YOU TOOK MY NOTEBOOK AND DID THIS!� she yelled trying to open the book, oh but what a mistake that was.

Thousands of bubbles came out. I had enchanted Droobles Best Blowing Gum to multiply when she opened the book.

“PEEVES! I can’t believe you! Why would you do this!� bookworm asked me.

“Oh, I have plenty of reasons,� I said to her popping the bubbles.

I stuck one on her nose, just to see how she would react, oh but what a mistake.

“I GIVE UP! YOU LITTLE…. MONSTER! DO YOU ENJOY THIS? DO YOU ENJOY MAKING PEOPLES LIVES MISERABLE?� bookwork yelled. Oh I was going to have fun with her. I have heard gossip, tons of gossip.

“Oh no. As you can see, I enjoy playing tricks. And there’s something else I have been meaning to ask you,� I said to her. This was going to push her buttons, oh this really was.

“And if I answer will you leave me alone, and stop calling me Granger-know-it-all and bookworm?!� Granger-know-it-all asked me looking annoyed. Oh how she looked annoyed.

“Hm, surely. I will surely think about that one. Anyway, what’s this so-called ‘gossip’ about you and Weasel King? I hear you to, are in love!� I said, leaning in and saying love as if I was saying chocolate cake.

The color drained from her face. She dropped her books to the ground…HA! I have hit the sensitive spot!

“Have I hit a sensitive spot?� I asked, in a calm voice. I was trying not to laugh, oh and how much it hurt.

“How did you find out about that?� she asked through gritted teeth.

Oh I was getting good at this, very good.

“Oh, it’s in the halls. I saw the two of you kissing under the stairwell. It’s the new make-out corner now. You should really check who’s under there before you snog,� I said to her. I started to smile; I had hit the spot that she would have to obey me.

“We did not ‘snog’!� she said, now her cheeks were becoming red. Oh I am good, so good.

“Oh yes you did. I saw you, and Weasel King, and then, well you know the rest. Pucker up, Kissy Lips!� I said to Kissy Lips.

“You said you would stop calling me names!� Kissy Lips said. She stomped her foot hard on the ground.

I couldn’t help but laugh. Oh it was funny! Electricity was coming from her hair I could see it. Not that she needed anymore of it…

“Ah, but that’s where you got it all wrong, Kissy Lips. I said that I would stop calling you Granger-know-it-all and bookworm. I never said anything about Kissy Lips, or Pucker Princess, or Snog Queen. Oh no, you see there new little nicknames!� I said to her. Oh was she getting mad, and was I gaining power.

“FINE! Be a little ferret see if I care! Go ahead!� she said than picked up her bag and marched right into the Gryffindor Commonroom.

Oh have I gained power, or have I….

Now, I must go find my favorite, rival, enemy, foe, opponent. Anything describing an enemy a.k.a Snape.

But than Snape is an ugly git, a prat, a rude, ugly, smelling, ugly, greasy-haired, ugly, rude, urine smelling…freak!

Off I go! Oh I love my job and isn’t life great with pranks?



A/N:: Heh, Peeves is so bad, I know. I had to do something funny though. The next chapter is hiliarious! Oh just wait....


REVIEW PLEASE!

Chapter 04 ~ The Wrath of Professor McGonagall

Oh, what a beautiful morning! Christmas! I hate it…but I absolutely positively can’t help it today! The Head’s finished putting up the decorations last night, but of course after I fell asleep…so I didn’t have time to “play� with them! Ha!

Well it’s only a quarter after nine; children should be at breakfast. Ooh, I wonder if they put up the glass balls this year! Ooh, I must go see.

* Starts to glide towards the Great Hall *

Oh shoot! There’s Professor McGonagall wearing her tall black wizards hat. It’s so pointy and straight and so black and…so annoying! It annoys me! There’s never a speck of lint or dirt on it and it’s always so…straight! It’s annoying me!

I wonder what would happen if I did this…Ha! Better!

* Snickers from the students *

“What’s wrong with all of you? What’s so funny?� Professor McGonagall asked.

“Professor?� came the voice of that preppy Lavender Brown. “Have you seen your hat today?�

She ruins everything!

“Why, Lavender, I see my hat every morning.�

“Well, did you get a new one?�

“Why no. I have had the same one for twenty-five years.�

“Well…Professor…it’s pink.�

Merlin! She’s ruining all of the fun! I’ll kill her! No, worse, I will make her life hell…oi! I need to make plans!

“It’s what?!�

She’s taking off her hat…and…

“PEEVES!!!�

Oh, how I love the shrieks of professors and of ickle firsties!

“Yes, Professor Headmistress?�

“What’s wrong with this hat?�

I looked through my legs, upside down.

“Why, I don’t know. But you do have eyes, why don’t you tell me?�

Oi! She’s mad! There is steam coming from her ears…literally!

“PEEVES! DON’T GET SMART ON ME!�

“Well, Professor Headmistress, I am not smart. Therefore how could I act smart?�

Oh, I love this job!

“PEEVES! THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOUR WISECRACK JOKES!�

“Now, I highly doubt that I am being a wisecrack…being as I am not wise nor am I a crack. So I am not a wisecrack…now if you don’t mind, please stop calling me names that I am not�

Oh, oh, oh…how I love playing innocent!

“PEEVES WHATEVER THE BLOODY HELL YOUR LAST NAME IS GET OUT!�

Well…I don’t have a last name.

“Now, Professor Headmistress, I don’t have a last name. And you have just cursed in front of all of these students. And why are you yelling at me, when you can simply change the color back with a simple charm. You ARE a Transfiguration teacher, and must I say, you are a witch. So, don’t yell at me.�

I smiled, oh how good am I?

I snapped my fingers, and turned her hat into a chicken and than glided away, with a boasting smile!

~Later on…in the hall with Lavender Brown~

Now where is that snitch? Ah, there she is…there’s my pride and joy for the rest of the day!

“Oi, Lavender!�

Oh, now why the petrified look?

“What do you want, Peeves?�

Now, is that attitude? You don’t give attitude to ol’ Peevesy, oh no you don’t!

“Oh, no you didn’t!� I said to her.

“Excuse me?�

“You gave me attitude.�

“Soo.�

“Well, such things needn’t to go without punishment…so what shall I do with you?�

“You’re not a professor. YOU can’t give me detention.�

“Ah, but I shall.�

“Uh, no.�

“I need to get into the common room, now move.�

“Hm, what’s your favorite color?�

“Pink and purple.�

“You know those are my favorites too.�

I snapped my fingers.

“Now, that’s a nice color. It suits you.�

“What are you talking about?�

“Your hair color.�

“What?�

I pulled out a mirror, which just so happened to be in my pocket for no peculiar reason.

She screamed! Oh, I love the sound of screaming!

“PEEVES! What the bloody hell did you do to my hair!�

Oh, how funny!

“Why, I didn’t do anything!�

“YES, YOU DID!

Ho, ho, ho. Now, why would she be yelling at me? I didn’t do anything…I swear I didn’t.

“No, yelling is not nice. And so are accusations.�

“But you’re the only one here!�

“How do you know that?�

“Because!�

“Now why are all of you so stupid?�

She pointed a finger at me and wiggled it. Ha! It looks like a worm!

“Now, you listen here yo-.�

Oh, I love the ending of sentences. See, I also like worms. And I think they make for a wonderful pants accessory.

“PEEVES!�

Oh my merlin!! How funny! Oh, I am soo good! That’s the best one yet. pants full of worms!

She starts to yell again.

“PEEVES! THIS IS SO DISGUSTING! GET THEM OUT! OH MY GOODNESS! OH MY GOODNESS! GET THEM OUT! THIS IS GROSS! OH MY MERLIN! THIS IS HORRIBLE! GET THEM OUT!�

Oh, yelling is like bells to my ears.

“You wanted worms.�

“NO I DIDN’T!�

“But - don’t they feel good? I mean, all the squirming, and them moving.�

“No!�

“You know, you may want to take a shower too. Seeing as worms are dirty.�

“PEEVES!�

“Now, don’t yell at me. It’s not my fault that you don’t shower enough that worms are now in your body…probably reproducing.�

She gave the look! She gave me the look! Oh how I live off of that look! She gave me the grossed out, pissed off, get-out-of-my-face look!

“Now…you do know what reproduction is, right? Your mum and dad sat you down and discussed it all with you, right? If not, ol’ Peeves here would LOVE to explain.�

She stomped off…but she left some worms behind. Oh well, they can always be transferred to her bed…by total accident.

Oh, how I crack myself up…

* In the Great Hall twenty-minutes later *

Hm, what should I do next?

“Peeves!�

Oh, no. It’s Professor Straight, Pointy, Black Hat McGonagall.

“Yes, Professor Headmistress?�

“What have you done with Ms. Brown? She came crying into my office!?�

Oh, now she was giving me attitude. Now, why doesn’t anyone like me?

“I haven’t done a thing, dear Professor. I have been in here.�

“I’m sure you have been.�

Now, was that sarcasm? Peeves doesn’t like sarcasm, oh no he doesn’t.

“I’m asking you again. What did you do to Ms. Brown?�

“Nothing.�

“Does the word ‘worms’ ring a bell?�

I tapped my chin, pondering deeply…yeah right!

“Worms…worms…worms…nope!�
“Peeves! You are a menace!�

“You said she cried?�

“Yes!�

“Oh, wow, was it really that mean?�

“So, you admit to it!� she said, pointing that finger at me again.

Now, what is it with women and pointing their fingers, and wiggling them around like they have worms for fingers? Now, this is pissing me off…goodness don’t they ever learn?

“No.�

“Yes!�

“No.�

“Yes!�

“Yes…�

“No!�

Ha! I tricked her!

“See, I didn’t do it…you just said so yourself.�

Now why the dumbfounded look?

“Now, Professor Headmistress, are you angry? Because you know you have steam coming from your head.�

“Peeves! First my hat, than worms in Ms. Brown’s pants!�

“You didn’t like the hat? Well, than I can help you there.�

I took her hat and I…ate it. Yes, I ate the hat…the shampoo she uses is wrecked too, bloody disgusting in my opinion.

“PEEVES! That was my hat!�

“I know. Buy a different shampoo, the one you’re using is horrible tasting.�

“PEEVES!�

Oh, but I didn’t hear another word. I glided out, leaving her in her steam-full glory. Ah, the life of me is great!


Author’s Note – So, sorry! The 4th chapter got deleted! I was so mad when I saw this! And I have been on vacation with my family, and I got home and saw what happened! I am so very very sorry!

I hope that this chapter makes up for all of it! Also, chapter 5 is done! But I am stuck for chapter 6, so if you have any ideas at all, put them in a review! Combined ideas area plus too! Thanks! So sorry! Review!

Chapter 05 ~ An Encounter With A Pet and Her Owner

It has been about, oh I don’t know, a week or so since the McGonagall and Lavender Brown incident, and I have been hanging low…yeah, right. I’ve been crazy!

Let’s see what I have already done, shall we?

I have:

1.) Put gum all over the trophies in the Trophy Room
2.) Stolen six of those trophies (all of the Head Boy and Girl’s)
3.) Stole the Heads badges (oh, what fun that was!)
4.) Wrecked the Transfiguration room (Once again, FUN!)
5.) Annoyed the bloody hell out of Potter and his friends (once again, to much fun to check off!)
6.) Tied a first year to the steps (Oh, I love the sound of screaming)
7.) Put gum on Mcgonagall’s back (what a terror I am)

Hmm, what else have I done?

8.) Annoyed Snog Queen…well I found her snogging…again (ha, ha, ha how funny!)
9.) Chucked some muggle cereal called, Fruit Loops, at kids going down the steps and into the Great Hall (although, for those muggles, they found out what I was throwing at them and so they thought it would be funny to catch them and eat them…stupid me. Well they didn’t get off that easily…so number ten…)
10.) (For the kids who ate the cereal!) I tied them upside down, took their wands, and I threw eggs at their faces…than pies…than butterbeer…than more pies…than flour and feathers!
11.) Ate the napkins in the Great Hall (…why? I don’t know)

Oh I crack myself up!

Hm…I’ve done loads, but there’s to many to count…but now I am bored stiff.

Hm, I wonder if Mrs. Norris found my treat

* Glides off to the seventh floor *

Oh my merlin! That’s not Mrs. Norris!

Mrs. Norris is bouncing off the walls! I guess she found my “present�.

* Watches as Mrs. Norris runs around the whole area of the seventh floor and than…she goes over to the statue of some dude, and takes a long whiff of it… *

Haha! The ad in the muggle magazine was right! This so called “catnip� makes them crazy! Although…even though I did get 75 ounces of it…and it said to only put a small tablespoon of it…I put all 75 ounces of it in the statue!

Oh my merlin! How bloody funny! Now she’s…humping the statue? HAHA! OH MY MERLIN! I have never seen a cat do that! Oh wow! Haha…

“Mrs. Norris!� my voice rang.

The cat looks at me with a dazed look. Boy, she looks like she’s far, far away!

“Oh, deary me, a high cat…now that’s something that we have never had at Hogwarts.�

Now the stupid cat looks at me like I am crazy…which I am not!

Hm…I think the cat needs a new hair color…the gray and black doesn’t suit her

*Changes the cat’s color *

“Yes, Mrs. Norris, Glow-in-the-dark LIME GREEN does suit you better!�

The cat looks like a bloody miniature ogre! Ha!

“Meoow…�

Stupid thing can’t even talk…

“My sweet, where have you gott-,� came the voice of Mr. Filch.

But he happened to stop.

“What’s wrong, Smelly Filchy?�

“You! You!� he said pointing a finger at me.

Once again! The wobbling finger thing! I thought only woman did that! Obviously, he’s a woman too! Ha! Figured out his mystery!

“What the bloody hell did you do to my cat?�

Now…the finger is still wiggling at me. That is SO annoying. You have no clue how annoying it is! Believe me, it’s so annoying!

“I didn’t do anything to your stupid cat.�

The finger continues to wobble…wobble…wobble…like a worm…

“YES YOU DID!�

Wow, many people yell at me. Now, ol’ Peeves doesn’t do a thing! And his finger is still wobbling at me!

“No, I didn’t.�

Wobble…wobble…wobble…

“Uh, no.�

“You evil, skiving, little…�

Wobble…wobble…wobble…wobble…

“…blink of a…stupid poltergeist, annoying…�

Wobble…wobble…wobble…

“…Malicious.�

“Now, I can hardly say that I am malicious, Smelly.�

“DON’T CALL ME THAT!�

Wobble…wobble…wobble…

“Call ya what?�

“You know what! Now, fix your own cat!�

“I. Can’t.� he said through gritted teeth.

“And why’s that, CatFilch?� I asked, looking through my legs, upside down.

“Because…�

“You are a woman?�

Wobble…wobble…wobble…

“No!�

“You act like one…�

Wobble…wobble…wobble…I swear I am going to eat that bloody finger if he doesn’t stop wobbling it at me. Hasn’t anyone learned anything?�

“I AM NOT A BLOODY WOMAN!�

Wobble…wobble…wobble…

“Yes, you are!�

“Am not!�

“Are too!�

“Am not!�

“Are too! Are too!�

“Am not! Am not! Am not! Am not!�

“Are too! Am not!�

“ARE TOO!�

Ha! Merlin, people are so stupid!

“HA!�

“You tricked me!�

Wobble…wobble…wobble…

“Now, you listen hear, you poltergeist.�

Wobble…wobble…wobble…

“You are to change my cat back, now!�

Wow, he looks like he is on the verge of tears! Wobble…wobble…

“No.�

“YES!�

“No.�

“Yes. Now!� he said, through gritted teeth.

Wobble…wobble…wobble…wobble…wobble…ok! That’s enough of the bloody wobbling! The finger wobbling is starting to piss me off!

Soo…I bit it…I bit his finger. Yea, I bit CatFilch’s finger!

Wasn’t too tasty either. What’s up with the teacher’s and using horrid tasting shampoo and/or soap?

“OW! YOU BLOODY POLTERGEIST THAT WAS MY BLOODY FINGER!�

“No, kidding…use different soap next time. And uh, never wiggle your finger at me…�

I left with a snap of my fingers…leaving CatFilch to look for his beloved…mooncalf.

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Author's Note ~ Hope you liked this! My brother helped me write it, and it's my favorite chapter of all times!

The Word 'Wobble' now makes me laugh soo hard!!!