Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter; the wonderful J.K. Rowling does. Seeing as I'm not her, I have--in no way--come up with any of these characters. The song "Whisper" belongs to Evanescence. Anything you don't recognize is purely my own. Thanks!


~*~


Whisper by Padfoot

Catch me as I fall.
Say you’re here and it’s all over now.
Speaking to the atmosphere,
No one’s here and I fall into myself.
This truth drives me into madness.
I can stop the pain if I will it all away.


My name is Sirius Black.

And I’m about to die.

I guess I’ve lived a full life. I’ve graduated from the best wizarding school in the country, had two great friends, and been the first to escape the wizarding prison Azkaban. I have many, many people who care about me, who know I am innocent and love me for who I am.

And this is why I despair.

Right now I’m falling… falling… falling to my death. My cousin Bellatrix has killed me. Her scream of triumph fills my ears as I fall.

I can see Harry out of the corner of my eye. He’s yelling my name. He’s screaming… screaming… screaming, but there is nothing I can do as I plunge to death.

I want to tell him how much he means to me. I want to tell him how much I love him as a son. I want to tell him how much I care for him.

I want to tell him I will always be there for him.


Don’t turn away.
Don’t give into the pain.
Don’t try to hide,
Though they’re screaming your name.
Don’t close your eyes.
God knows what lies behind them.
Don’t turn out the light.
Never sleep, never die.


My life flashes before my eyes. I know there is no going back. My wand is gone and I am helpless. I want to shut out the screams of pain and sorrow that fill my ears. I don’t want to die like this.

I don’t want to die!

Yet, there is nothing I can do. All I can do is think. Think my last thoughts.

What will Remus do without me? How will he react? How much more misery can he stand in his life and be happy? Moony, old pal, I don’t want to die. I don’t want to leave you, and Harry, and the Order of the Phoenix. You need me, and I need you.
How much more can Moony take? How much more sorrow and loss? He has suffered so much. Why�”why�”why must I die?

Someone�”anyone�”please! Someone will come… someone must come… I can’t die! Save me!


I’m frightened by what I see,
But somehow I know that there’s much more to come.
Immobilized by my fear,
And soon to be blinded by tears.
I can stop the pain if I will it all away.


I’m scared. I’m scared of what lies beyond the veil. Once I fall in, I will never return. I try to stop, to somehow twist out of my fate, but my cousin’s curse binds me. I keep falling… falling… falling…

I am terrified of the black unknown that I face. Will my death be quick and painless, or prolonged and full of agony? Is there something more beyond?

Through my dread of death, I feel a terrible misery welling up in my chest. Tears fill my eyes, blurring my sight. It was not for me, but for Harry. He, too, had lost so many in his life. He looked up to me. I was the father he never had. He loved me as if I were his father. Can he really stand to lose another loved one so early in his life?

He has lost so many all ready. I wish I could always be there for him. I wish I could see him grow into the Auror that he wants to be. I wish… I wish… I wish it weren’t my time to go.

Can’t anyone hear me? Please, someone save me! I have so much more to live for! I’m falling… falling… falling…


Don’t turn away.
Don’t give into the pain.
Don’t try to hide,
Though they’re screaming your name.
Don’t close your eyes.
God knows what lies behind them.
Don’t turn out the light.
Never sleep, never die.


Seconds turn into eons. Will I fall for eternity? How long can my precious last seconds last?

I’m holding my last breath. I’m crying my last tears. I’m thinking my last thoughts.
What have I ever done to deserve this? What have any of us done? Did Lily and James, my dear friend Prongs, really have to die? Did Wormtail, that sniveling Peter, really have to turn against us? Did I have to be thrown into Azkaban? Did Remus have to mourn the death of a friend without someone to be there for him?

The answer is no. No matter how I look at it, I know Voldemort has destroyed me inside and out. He has killed my best friends, whether he has thrown them out of this world or murdered their spirits. He has turned my family against other wizards and myself. He has turned wizard against wizard. He has wasted away my body by landing me in Azkaban, leaving me almost no more than a corpse.

Now he has caused my cousin Bellatrix, my flesh and blood, to wipe me from existence.

And I’m still falling… falling… falling…

Someone will save me… someone must save me… I cannot die! Someone, please, anyone!


Fallen angels at my feet.
Whispered voices at my ear.
Death before my eyes,
Lying next to me, I fear.
She beckons me. Shall I give in?
Upon my end shall I begin?
Forsaking all I’ve fallen for,
I rise to meet the end.


My fall has at last come to an end. I am sliding through the veil. I can hear the indistinct murmurs of the dead fill my ears. I’m staring my fate, my death, in the eyes. Unseen hands tug on me, bringing me down.

My life flashes before my eyes once more. I have fallen so far. I have lost so much. I have no more to lose.

A sudden revelation occurs to me, and I know abruptly that I will never die. I will never die as long as those I have loved remember me. I will live on in their memories. I will live on forever more. I will live on as long as long as I am remembered.

Harry will remember me as the substitute parent that loved him no matter what. Remus will remember me as the great friend and prankster he always loved like brother. The Order of the Phoenix will remember me as one of its members, the one that died for Harry’s sake.

I guess if I have to go, this is the way to do it: defending the ones I love. I mean, I wish I didn’t have to, but this is for Harry. This is so he can live to get old and live the childhood he never had, to see that there are good things in life. This is so he can live to be an Auror, or a famous Quidditch player, or whatever he dreams to be someday.

Slowly, painlessly, I go spiraling…

Spiraling…

Spiraling…

Down into a dark oblivion.

This is for Harry.

“…he [Kreacher] gave Narcissa information of the sort that is very valuable to Voldemort, yet must have seemed much too trivial for Sirius to think of banning him from repeating it… Like the fact that the person Sirius cared most about in the world is you, like the fact that you were coming to regard Sirius as a mixture of father and brother. Voldemort knew already, of course, that Sirius was in the Order, that you knew where he was�”but Kreacher’s information made him realize that the one person whom you would go to any lengths to save was Sirius Black.” �“Albus Dumbledore

~*~