I couldn’t take it anymore. The pain was too enduring, it wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t get the thought of his face, smell, body, and voice out of my head. It wouldn’t leave me be. I couldn’t get my love for him out.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Lily, I put the papers for your new case on your desk,” said her secretary as she walked past her desk.

“Thanks Julie,” Lily said as she opened the door to her office.

Lily was happy to go to work everyday, because she knew that she could help people. Lily had started her own group, who helped kids in London. She took them away from their abusive families, and put them in better homes. She didn’t want them to experience the same childhood she had.

When Lily was eleven, she had been accepted to Hogwarts’ school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She and her mother were happy, but her father wasn’t. Her father had started to hit her every time she came home during the summer, seeing as he wouldn’t let her come home during Christmas and Spring Break.

It had started out with hitting, but it lead to worse things, like things being thrown at her. When she was around the age of sixteen, she couldn’t take it anymore, and just didn’t come home in the summers. She only had one left before her last year of school, so she stayed at her best friend, Marissa’s house.

It had been four years since she had graduated from Hogwarts, and she still hadn’t talked to her parents. Her sister was married, and didn’t talk to her very much. Marissa was like a sister to her, even though Lily had practically excluded herself from the wizarding world. She wanted to work for muggles because she was a muggle born.

Occasionally, Marissa would pull her along to wizard events, or Diagon Alley, but she didn’t go very often. Every time she did, she would get this feeling of guilt, like there was something haunting her. It was something she knew about, but wasn’t quite sure of. She couldn’t decipher it; it was like a code or something. She knew for a fact though that it was something she loved. She felt like it was something she loved dearly, once held close to her heart, and now left it behind.

What Lily didn’t know was that it wasn’t a thing, it was a person. It was James Potter.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lily was driving on her way home, when she got stuck in traffic. She always reminded herself to leave work earlier, so this wouldn’t happen, but she always ended up leaving later than the day before. Because it was Friday, and the fact that she was in the heart of London, that cause so much more traffic than usual.

She started to think about everything. Because she was so tired, and there was an accident ahead, she closed her eyes.

~Flashback~

“James, I can’t. I can’t marry you,” she said softly as she closed the small velvet box.

“Why not?”

“Because, I-I I’ll never see you again.”

“What are you talking about?’ he asked as he put his arms around her. She wriggled out of his arms, and turned around. She didn’t want to see the pain he was feeling. His eyes could tell her his emotions. She knew what he was feeling every minute of the day, and she loved that about him.

“I-I’m taking a job outside of the wizarding world,” she said with a single tear rolling down her cheek.

“Why?” he said coming behind her and touching her arm.

“Because. I need to help those kids. They need me to help them.”

“Lily, is this because of you father?” he asked in a serious tone, leaving his hurt voice. She stood there, and only moved to turn around,” Why? Why do you need to help these kids to get pay back at you dad? Just because he hit you doesn't mean-”

“It’s not like that James. I like helping them.”

“Yeah, but-“

“James, this is my choice. Nothing influenced it. Its not that I don’t love you, I just want to do what’s right for me,” she said without stuttering.

“Lily, I ... I guess that ... this is ... goodbye then,” he said after thinking about it for a minute.

“Yeah, James, it is,” she said giving him a hug. She started to cry inside. She couldn't let him see the way she really felt, even though he probably knew.

~End of Flashback~

Lily didn’t know why she was crying. Every time she closed her eyes, his face would come to her. She couldn’t get his face out of her mind. All she could think of was the way she used to kiss his lips, the way she loved him.

The traffic had started to move, and Lily turned on the radio to get her mind to move off of him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lily entered her flat at around eleven, and she was so tired that she didn’t want to eat anything. Even though she felt like lying down and falling asleep, she knew she couldn’t. She couldn’t bear to see his face one more time, and think about where he was, what he was doing, who he was with. She couldn’t think about the times she shared with him, the way he kissed her, the way he held her, everything about him.

Everywhere she looked, there he was, as if he was meant to haunt her. She couldn't get his face out of her mind. his scent was clear in her mind, seeming as though her were there with her at that moment.

She knew that there was something she had to do. That thing was seeing his face one more time.