Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, I make no claim to her genius, no characters/places are invented by me, only the plot. The song is "All I Ask of You" from Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera, which is also genius in its own right.

A/N: All right, just to clear up something: I have the feeling that some people will complain about Dumbledore performing a certain task that he shouldn't be able to *shifty eyes* but it's necessary to the story, having it the normal way just wouldn't work. We'll just say that he was allowed certain liberties granted to him. I'm also sorry that I didn't do this wonderful song justice. And now, without further ado…


~*~



No more talk of darkness,
Forget these wide-eyed fears.
I'm here, nothing can harm you –
my words will warm and calm you.
Let me be your freedom,
let daylight dry your tears.
I'm here, with you, beside you,
to guard you and to guide you...


Tonks was not exactly sure what had gone wrong.

Three weeks ago, in St. Mungo's, she and Remus had found out that they loved each other. For the time that Remus was in the hospital, they were as close as could be, lovers united.

So why, all of a sudden, was it different? Why, for the week and a half since Remus had come to Grimmauld Place, had they been unable to meet each other's eyes? Why was Remus ignoring her?

She hadn't expected this of him, honestly.

In the privacy of her room, Tonks blushed, feeling hypocritical. To be perfectly fair, she was eluding him as well. Why, she could never have told herself.

Perhaps it was the sudden, sleepy way it had begun. Perhaps something realized in such a slapdash way could never last…

Tonks buried her face in her hands. Of course, this would have to happen to her! So she'd spilled her true feelings and snatched at happiness, only to have it jerked away from her again.

Had his words even been true? Had hers even been true? Tonks didn't know anymore. Truth was a distant memory right now.

The only truth she knew right now was that she was, without a doubt, depressed, discouraged, and utterly furious with the world in general. And also, that Remus obviously had said those things in a sleepy haze.

Tonks fell backwards onto her pillows. "Why, Remus?" she whispered. "Why are you abandoning me like this? That's not fair. Life's not fair. I hate life right now, especially because now I feel like I'm sixteen again, full of teenage angst. This is embarrassing. I should face him like a woman and swallow my pride and tell him how much I bloody love him, is what I should do. I don't know what I will do."

"Tonks?"

Tonks looked up. Hermione had poked her head in. "Erm…hi?"

"Hello, Hermione," Tonks said, trying to cover up her misery and only sounding highly caffeinated.

Hermione frowned and entered the room without asking. "Everything all right?" She grinned. "Everything…er, sorted out?" she added significantly.

Tonks sighed and found herself spilling everything to Hermione. Perhaps it was because of the little hint Hermione had given to her about that Muggle book, showing that Hermione fully supported their relationship. Or their lack of relationship, as it seemed to be.

"Oh, Hermione, Remus is ignoring me, and I'm ignoring him, and I don't know why, and I'm just so bloody angry about it, and I don't understand why he won't look at me anymore when just a two weeks ago he kissed me, and it's all just a big mess," Tonks poured out in a breathless, miserable rush. "And please don't correct my grammar, I know perfectly well that that was an atrocious run-on," she added, just to be safe.

Hermione nodded, an odd look on her face. "It's all right. Hmm…Tonks, have you tried talking to him?"

Tonks sputtered. "Of course not! I'm ignoring him, remember?"

"Ah." Hermione was clearly assessing the situation. "Are you ignoring him because you're angry and it's a defense against him ignoring you, or are you…well, scared?"

"What would I…?" Tonks started, then faltered and thought about it.

Scared? That had never occurred to her. But now that she thought about, Hermione had identified the emotion that had been nagging at her. She was. She was terrified about what the others would think, what Remus might think of her eventually, how this would affect work, what would it mean in the future…

Tonks stared up at her younger friend from her position on the bed. "Oh, hell," she cursed fervently.

Hermione patted her arm sympathetically. "I felt this way with Ron, for awhile. Tonks, you should talk with him. Professor Lupin is strong, but he's not superhuman. He might be just as unsure as you are, or think that since you're ignoring him back, you want to pretend it never happened. But if you face him, maybe you'll manage to make each other feel better."

Tonks screwed up her face. "But what if he tells me he wants to forget it happened?" she said in a small voice.

"Tonks, if three weeks ago was any indication, he's not going to say that. Besides…he's Lupin, Tonks. Do you really think he'd be that cold?"

Tonks sighed, defeated. "You're right, Hermione. Good logic, that. I don't know why I didn't come to you in the first place." She scuffed her toe against a floorboard. "Another thing is…a relationship. That's so…confining. I don't know if I'm ready…or…" She gazed up at Hermione pleadingly.

Hermione was quiet for a moment. "Tonks…you don't know that he won't be your liberation. He's the type who will want you to feel free to be yourself. I suppose what I'm trying to say is…do you love him?"

"With all my heart."

Hermione's gaze was soft and knowing. "Then once you sort this out, it won't matter. It really won't. The worries now will just go away."

Tonks chewed reflectively. "Hermione, I wish I had been as smart as you are now when I was your age."

Hermione flushed pink with pleasure. "Tonks, you were smart. Look at you, you're an Auror!"

"Sometimes I think that's just because I can change the shape of my nose," Tonks said with a weak grin.

Hermione chuckled. "You know that's not true. Anyway, I came here to tell you dinner is ready. Come on down." She bustled off down the stairs.

Tonks stretched and hopped off the bed, crashing into her nightstand. Wincing, she made her way down the stairs.

For about a month and a half now, she had been living at Grimmauld Place, simply because it was easier than travelling there for every Order meeting they had. Mrs. Weasley had offered, and Tonks hadn't been shy about accepting the generous proposal. Her single room there was almost larger than her whole apartment.

Still, now she vaguely wished she could be anywhere but here, traipsing downstairs to face the large, loud Weasley family and her persistently silent 'lover.'

"What's wrong with the world?" Tonks moaned.


Say you love me every waking moment,
turn my head with talk of summertime.
Say you need me with you, now and always...
promise me that all you say is true –
that's all I ask of you…


Dinner lately had always been a bit strained, for reason quite unknown to Tonks, but it was even worse. Before, the Weasleys, Harry, and Hermione chattered brightly to cover the silence from their two houseguests. Tonight it seemed that they had given up, and were matching silence with silence.

Silence was dangerous for Tonks. It gave her an opportunity to think, to fall into memories and hopes, futures and despairs.

She thought about winter.

It was cold and bare and unforgiving. That's what she hated the most. There was nothing left to live for in winter. You just wanted to curl up and hide somewhere until it passed. There was no life, there was no happiness, there was no warmth. And there was no love.

Right now, it felt like she was stuck in winter. If only Remus would come back, tell her he loved her, held her once more, she could go back to summer. Even a nice sprightly spring would be acceptable. Hell, she'd even go back to fall. Just anywhere but the stark stretch of blank snow and coldness…

In St. Mungo's, he'd told her once, in a moment of purely un-Remus-like frankness, he'd told her he needed her to recover. She'd smiled happily, kissed him, and proceeded to forget about it, until now. It seemed more and more like she needed him to survive, whereas he was getting along perfectly fine without her.

Tonks sneaked a glance in his direction. He was eating absently, as if his mind was on something else. The moon was on the wane, so he looked far healthier than usual, but there were still purple shadows under his eyes and a certain paleness to his skin. His hair was messy and flopped into his eyes. Of course it would — he never bothered to comb it anymore. He holed up in his room most of the day, which he referred to as 'his study,' doing no-one-knew-what, and emerged from dinner in presentable clothes but rather unkempt hair.

He didn't look as if he missed her.

Remus! her mind screamed. Why did you tell me all that sweet stuff if it was just a lie? Tell me the truth! Tell me that you meant all that you said! That's all I want to hear.

And, if her growing cowardice was any indication, that was exactly what she wasn't going to hear.

It took her awhile to realize that dinner was over, and Mrs. Weasley was clearing the dishes. Tonks glanced around. Remus was already gone.

She was fully prepared to slink back to her room, but she hadn't counted on the unexpected menace known as Hermione.

The bushy-haired girl barred with doorway and folded her arms implacably, glaring at Tonks. "You're trying to get out of it, aren't you?"

"No!" Tonks protested guiltily. "I just forgot something in my room. Why are you taking such an interest in our relationship, anyway?"

"Because you two are so perfect for each other, and I hate seeing both of you miserable. Oh, don't look at me like that, of course Remus is miserable. He just hides it better. Now, come on." Hermione took Tonks by the arm and steered her down the hall.

"Hermione, I can go by myself," Tonks insisted as Hermione propelled her along.

"Oh no you can't," Hermione contradicted inexorably. "If I leave you, you'll go back to your room. I know you too well by now, Tonks. You're one of the bravest people I know, except when it comes to personal matters, situations needing grace, and Remus. Anytime you can avoid contact with any one of those, you will."

"You're lucky we're friends, Hermione, or else I'd succumb to the temptation to hex you," Tonks informed her gravely.

"That won't be necessary," Hermione replied, obviously hiding the amusement in her voice. "In fact, you'll be begging forgiveness for saying that to me after this. Trust me. You'll thank me later."

"That's what they always say," Tonks grumbled.

"I'm not 'they.' Ah, here we are."

The two women stopped in front of the door to Remus's room. Tonks stared at it helplessly. Behind it sat Remus, probably working diligently, something she had never been good at. Poor man had no idea what was about to hit him.

"Go on." Hermione prodded Tonks in the back.

Tonks squirmed. "This is going to be so awkward."

"You tend toward situations like that, don't you?"

"Thanks ever so."

"Quite all right." Immune to sarcasm and apparently no mistress of tact, Hermione grinned. "I'm not leaving until you knock. And go in," she added as a hasty afterthought.

There's no escaping it, Tonks realized drearily. Limply, she raised a hand and knocked.

"Come in," his voice said faintly from within.

Tonks cast one more pleading glance at Hermione, wondering how she could be this scared of the man she loved.

Hermione smiled reassuringly. "Go on," she repeated, and faded away.

Steeling herself for the worst, Tonks opened the door.


Let me be your shelter,
let me be your light.
You're safe: no one will find you
your fears are far behind you...


She shut the door behind her quietly. No one else needed to hear whatever was going to happen.

Remus glanced up briefly, then did a double-take and gazed at her, startled. "Tonks, what brings you here?"

Tonks dimly felt her jaw drop.

Remus's mouth quirked wryly. "I must admit, that's not a very attractive look on you, Tonks."

She finally regained use of her mouth. "Are you mad?" she shrieked.

Remus frowned. "Er…are you all right?"

Tonks stared, disbelieving. "Are you out of your head? What's wrong with you? How can you just sit there and say that? What, d'you think I'm all right? After you've spent the entire time back here ignoring me? After you – you – no I am not bloody all right!"

Remus turned red. "Oh. That. Er…I suppose I should explain…"

But Tonks was on a roll.

"No, no, don't explain! I understand! Breaking hearts is all the rage nowadays, right? I realize you couldn't possibly love a girl almost half your age who's silly and thought maybe, just maybe, you were telling the truth about loving me! Obviously not! How could I get my hopes up? How could you let me get my hopes up? Why did you lie to me? Why have you been ignoring me? Why am I so scared? Why…"

Tonks let her angry babble fade away, suddenly at loss for anything else to complain about. Through her whole tirade, Remus sat and listened, not looking at her, just gazing at the ground and letting it sink in. Then he stood, took her by the shoulders, and looked into her eyes. "Tonks, please. Let me explain," he said quietly.

"I don't want you to explain," she whispered childishly, blinking away her sadness.

"But I want to."

Remus led her to his bed and sat her down on it, giving Tonks a chance to compose herself. I've been falling apart too easily lately, she thought dully. Have to stop…have to hide my emotions better…maybe he's tired of me wearing my heart on my sleeve…

Remus settled down next to her and did an amazing thing: he hugged her, holding her close to his heart.

Out of pure habit, Tonks rested her head over his left pectoral muscle and listened to his heartbeat. Closing her eyes, she allowed herself this moment of happiness, but didn't forget what she was there for.

"Remus," she murmured, "why did you lie to me?"

In her mind, she saw him smile slightly. "I didn't."

"Then why have you been ignoring me?"

"You haven't seemed very open to a relationship lately either, you know."

Tonks sighed. "I was just…I don't know. No, wait, I do know. Afraid. I've been afraid."

"What are you afraid of?" His voice was calm, quiet, reasoning — the Remus she knew and loved.

"Afraid of what everyone else will think. Afraid of how this might affect work and my general state of mind. Afraid I might lose you. Afraid I might lose me. Afraid that you might stop loving me."

Cool, dry lips pressed against her forehead. "Tonks, you could have talked to me any time."

"You didn't seem exactly open," Tonks told him. "Why have you been so skittish around me?"

He sighed. "The same reasons as you."

"Oh." Tonks blushed. "I'm beginning to feel like a bit of an ass," she confessed.

"As am I," he replied frankly. "Tonks, for the whole time I've been here, I wanted to talk to you, but you never looked me in the eye. You avoided me. I thought that…perhaps you'd changed your mind…that you really couldn't face the reality of being romantically involved with a werewolf, not to mention one who is poor and far older than you…"

"Remus Lupin!" Tonks pulled away and stared up at his pained face. "How could you think that?"

"The same way you could think that I couldn't love a silly girl, as you so delicately termed yourself."

Tonks was hard put trying to think up a comeback.

All she could say was, "Of course I want to be romantically involved with you!"

A flicker of a smile crossed his face. "You looked so miserable, and I just wanted to keep you safe, but you were too far away. But now are your fears allayed?"

"Well…partially," Tonks admitted. "I mean, now I know you don't want to forget everything that happened in St. Mungo's." A wave of nostalgia hit her, and she smiled, thinking of that happy time. Times ahead could be equally happy, if everything was fixed just right. "We need to talk."


All I want is freedom,
a world with no more night,
and you, always beside me
to hold me and to hide me...


"Remus," she began, "you know how I am. I know how I am too. I'm clumsy and a bit frivolous and free-spirited. And I'm afraid of being held in. I know you never would, not on purpose, but…relationships can be so restraining, no matter how much the two people involved love each other." She stopped, not sure what to say next. "Er," her traitor mouth supplied.

"Tonks, your freedom is your best trait," Remus said, his blue-green eyes soft and vaguely amused. "I'd never take that away with. Do you really think I would?"

"Well…no."

His eyes were now questioning. "What else is troubling you?"

"The others. I've never been good with outside judgment."

Remus chuckled. "You think they don't already know?"

Tonks blinked.

"Tonks, they know and they are truly happy for us. In fact, the only thing they don't support right now is the fact that we've been a bit stupid lately."

"Oh. Er…that bit was obvious, wasn't it?"

"I hate to say, but it was." Remus raised an eyebrow at her. "Surely you noticed their unnatural chatter as they tried to make us speak?"

"I noticed the chatter, all right, but it didn't register. Um."

Remus took her in his arms again. "I've disillusioned you, haven't I?" His tone was light and gently teasing.

"I'll recover," she shot back, grinning. She started to relax into him, then stopped. "One last thing…"

"Yes?" His tone was patient.

"Remus…you promise me you won't stop loving me? I don't think I could bear it…"

"That's like asking me not to die: it goes without question."

Tonks beamed. "It's summertime," she murmured happily.

"Er…if you say so," Remus responded.

Tonks sighed. "I do believe I own Hermione an apology."

"Why?"

"I threatened to hex her before, when she tried to talk sense into me."

Remus smiled. "Do you think that apology could wait?"

"Oh, I think it could," Tonks whispered, wrapping her arms around him and raising her head to meet his.


SEVEN MONTHS LATER


"Tonks?"

Tonks glanced up from her bed and grinned. "Good morning, Remus," she greeted him, hopping up and kissing his cheek.

He returned the gesture, but something wasn't right. He looked as jumpy as it was possible for Remus Lupin ever to get.

Tonks frowned. "Is something wrong?"

Remus sighed. "Tonks, can I ask you something?"


Then say you'll share with me
one love, one lifetime;
let me lead you from your solitude.
Say you need me with you here, beside you…
anywhere you go, let me go too –


"Of course." She took his hand and pulled him down onto the bed beside her. "What's the matter?"

"Tonks, I need to be assured of one thing. Do you love me?"

Tonks frowned — Remus usually didn't ask questions like this. "Of course I do," she chided gently. "Always."

To her surprise, Remus smiled, that same soft, gentle smile he always had, and slid to the floor, fishing about in his pocket.

"And I love you. I can't imagine ever being away from you.

"Nymphadora Tonks, will you marry me?"


FOUR MONTHS AFTER THAT


"Do you, Remus John Lupin, take Nymphadora Tonks to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Albus Dumbledore beamed at the happy couple as he said these words.

Tonks couldn't stop grinning as Remus said, "I do."


Say you'll share with me
one love, one lifetime…
say the word and I will follow you…


Dumbledore turned to her. "And do you, Nymphadora Tonks, take Remus John Lupin to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"Of course I do!" she beamed. There was a ripple of laughter from crowd.

"Then I now pronounce you husband and wife." Dumbledore was smiling nearly as widely as the two. "Congratulations, my friends. Remus, you may now kiss the bride."


Share each day with me,
each night, each morning…


They did so, lingering and loving. Tonks felt as if she might explode.

"Remus," she whispered as they proceeded back down the aisle, "I'm sorry, for all those months ago, for doubting that you loved you, and having to ask if you did."

Remus smiled at her. "Because inside, you already knew the answer."


Say you love me…
(You know I do…)
Love me, that's all I ask of you…


Tonks grinned fondly. "Correct, as usual. It's all I need in life: the assurance that you love me."

"And that's the only thing you can know without asking," he whispered.

"I only want one more promise from you," Tonks murmured.

"Mmm?"


Anywhere you go let me go too…


"That whatever happens to us, whatever hardships fall our way, you'll always let me come with you to be by your side."

Remus smiled. "Why do you have to ask? I could never leave you for too long. And what I want from you is for you to stay the way you are always, happy and carefree…"


Love me…


"That's all I ask of you."


…that's all I ask of you…


FIN.



A/N: ....or not. There's been a bit of questioning about the abrupt ending, which does have a purpose! Really! It's not just because I'm lazy! It was supposed to be symbolic of how their troubles were completely over and resolved, and the whole engagement/wedding was sort of a happy blur. And, I will admit, I had a lot of song left over, and I had to use it up somehow. By rights, the engagement/wedding shouldn't even be there. Just thought you should all know. And no, there will not be another sequel. What would it be about? :)