For Sirius mourners.

This story is my original idea, but it's using both the world and characters by JKR and or in the case of Reign, my friend Kara's character (if you want more of her character read "Caught in the Rain.") I also use glimpses of songs at the beginning of each chapter. Other than that the ideas are mine. Thank you, enjoy and please always... R&R... feedback is wanted as long as it is constructive criticism.
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All of Me

Sometimes what doesn't seem so fair, it's what makes us more aware

And I know you're smiling, I know you're laughing

And I know that you're in a better place where angel's wings caress you

But I still miss you...

Chapter One: Breaking Before You

His heart had been frozen in time for what seemed to be an eternity. A pain so deep had filled his body, much like a vice grip was holding his heart and as the person in charge of the vice applied the pressure he would begin to feel the clutch tightening around his heart. He would then, just as soon, start to cry, rather than yell out in pain for the on going hope that the hurt may someday pass. Yet, as everyday passed by, nothing seemed to be able to ease the pain. Not friends in the summer, or the letters they would send when he was away from them over the summer holiday, not the excitement of start of term, or even Quidditch seemed to help with his pain.

Now, after nearly seven months, Harry still couldn't sleep at night. Christmas was just around the corner and all it brought was more bittersweet memories of Sirius. Images of his godfather helping to decorate Grimmauld Place or singing Christmas carols loudly throughout the halls that would fill everyone with cheer sifted through Harry's thoughts.

Harry sighed as a tear rolled silently down his face. He'd almost hoped he'd run out of them or maybe he'd forget how to cry, or how to feel any emotion at all. The absence was what he wanted though. He never wanted to feel pain or anything good ever again. For, those feelings gave hope; a hope Harry now knew was false because there was no way he could ever really be happy, not after Sirius' death.

Harry wiped the tear away from his cheeks as he walked aimlessly through Hogwarts halls underneath his invisibility cloak. He didn't want to think anymore. He wished desperately that his mind would go blank and he wouldn't remember anything. Yet, they kept coming, thoughts of Sirius, all of Hermione's concerns on Harry's current lack of enthusiasm about everything, Ron's worries, and Lupin's letters that contained stories about when he was in school with Sirius and Harry's father. All of these images kept flooding into his mind, like a dam had been broken in his mind and he suddenly had no control over his own thoughts.

In the midst of these thoughts he found himself walking forward past a door that hadn't been there the first two times he'd passed through that certain hallway. Harry looked at it in wonder, knowing fully what it was, and against his better judgment he walked up to it and moved his arm forward to open the door. His eyes fell upon a small room. The walls were completely bare aside from the wallpapering that was fashioned in the style of the Victorian Era and was peeling off the walls. He stepped inside and he suddenly took notice of the object that was covered completely by a white linen cloth that had a large accumulation of dust on it. He stared at it for a moment in the doorway making no attempt at moving forward, still not entirely sure if he should remove the cloth in fear of what was hidden beneath it.

He stood there for only a while before he finally made a move toward the object and in one swift motion of his hands he had removed the cloth. He stared at the reflection that greeted him without any feeling at first. It was the first time in a long time he'd actually felt completely hollow, and then his body seemed to catch up with him and he felt his knees buckle from underneath him as he fell to the ground in front of the mirror.

Sirius was there before him, smiling widely at him. Harry stared not sure what to think just that he felt the pain in his heart start to build. He began to notice certain things as he looked at the man in the mirror. Like Sirius' eyes were different, somehow happy, and Harry suddenly hated him for it. How could he be happy? When he, Harry, was nothing short of miserable. Yet, Harry couldn't keep himself from staring at the image of his godfather smiling down at him as tears once again started to leak from the young boys eyes.

"How could you leave me?" Harry found himself ask the mirror's reflection in the midst of his sobs. "How could you let yourself die? I need you here. I need you to be here, to give me advice, to egg me on to do something against the rules. I need you to love me, to be here for me."

Harry found himself edging closer to the mirror as he spoke of all the thoughts that had been haunting him over the last few months. "I want so badly to wake up and find my life has just been one big nightmare. I need to tell you this story and here your bark-like laughter as you tell me not to worry about it because you're not going anywhere. I want to see you turn into a big black dog and follow me around Hogsmeade or just hear you say one more time that I'm just like my dad."

He stopped as he put his hand out and touched the reflection of Sirius' hand, tracing its form. "But you're gone and I'll never have any of that again. And the pain in my heart from that realization is killing me because I need you now more than ever." He stopped and wiped away another batch of tears from his emerald eyes. "And for the first time since I met you, you're not here when I need you."

He sighed heavily as he shut his eyes, letting the last of his sobs dissipate into the vast abyss of the room. "I miss you, more than anything, with all of my heart, Sirius. I miss you."

You’re feeling blue now

I think you bit off more than you could chew

And now it’s time to make a choice

When all I want to hear is your voice...

Chapter Two: Confused Despondency

Harry’s eyes fluttered open only to be greeted by sunlight flooding in through the window to his left. He lay there, on the softly carpeted floor, staring up at the ceiling trying to place his surroundings. But no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t.

What he did know was that he had been in the Room of Requirement the night before, but now? He had no clue. He furrowed his brow and sat up from the carpeted floor and looked around. The room was blue like the shade of the sky around midday and posters of Puddlemere’s Quidditch team lined the wall. These posters dated back from the early 1970’s to the present.

He looked at the bed that was made perfectly due probably to the fact that he hadn’t slept on it at all during the night. The sheets were of a blue checked print and the pillowcases were white except for the blue checked print around their boarder. He rubbed his forehead slightly in frustration as he turned to look at a small desk that was very mod accompanied with a chair to match. On the desk and on the bookshelf to its left were books of mostly Defense and Quidditch stuff with the occasional Transfiguration book on Animagi thrown into the mix. There was a muggle stereo system hooked to the wall that was definitely hung up with magic and no doubt had to be run on magic if this was indeed a wizarding house. He smiled despite himself as he thought of Hermione and her endless rants about how they should read “Hogwarts a History.”

He sighed to himself and turned to the window with white trim on his left and started to walk towards it. He looked outside to see the ground covered in a thick blanket of snow. He noticed instantly the Quidditch Pitch in the background and a small forest in the distance. Had he known where he was he would have been thrilled to find all of these things in this room and outside. But he wasn’t. He furrowed his brow once more and began to think as hard as he could about the previous night. His mind switched instantly to the empty room with the tattered green wallpaper, then to the mirror and Sirius. Harry frowned at the beautiful sight that lay before him without really seeing it and he suddenly hated the happy decor that surrounded him.

He fought back the tears that had plagued him since the end of last term and cursed himself for it. He hated crying, yet, that seemed to be the only thing he was able to do anymore. He sighed and walked over to the bed and let himself fall backwards on it in despair. The room of requirement gets someone what they need. Harry thought. Well, what he needed was Sirius. This room was full of Quidditch, not to mention on a Quidditch team he knew nothing about having only ever been to one real Quidditch Game; the World Cup. So why would the room change to Quidditch?

It wouldn’t, he found himself thinking. He laid there for a very long time staring up at the white ceiling that had little stars stuck up on it. He sighed, lost in thought, and then he heard it. A low bark-like laughter filtered through the door up to his ears coming from somewhere outside the room. He sat bolt upright and wiped away whatever tears remained from his stained cheeks. He stared at the door, not daring to move, in disbelief until he heard it again. Before he really even knew what he was doing he found himself on his feet reaching for the doorknob. He turned it slowly until it opened with a soft click. He looked out into the hallway only to find that it wasn’t Hogwarts. He let out a breath that he didn’t even realize he was holding. He stood there and looked down the hall and noticed instantly that the walls were white and had paintings hanging every so often all the way down it and the floor was a dark hardwood. He followed it a short way until he reached the staircase that was hooked to a loft that over looked the living room below it.

Harry didn’t know what to believe as he heard the laughter again, this time it was mingled with other voices he couldn’t place. He started to climb down the staircase as a thought occurred to him, this was probably Malfoy’s doing. A clever way for the albino rat faced boy to get back at him for getting his father put in Azkaban. He suddenly felt his stomach turn to rock as he made his way to the bottom of the staircase and heard Sirius’ voice carry over to his ears. He heard another man talk in return and he felt his stomach churn out of its rocklike state. It was followed by even more laughter and when it met Harry’s ears he felt them turn red with anger. This was a cruel joke even for Malfoy. Why would someone do this to him? Didn’t they already know that he had enough to deal with? Or was it just too much to resist taunting him with the death of the one person he ever really cared about?

Despite himself he found himself walking towards the door that he knew held the voices, or more wisely, whoever was making the voices. He bit his lip slightly as even more laughter followed this time carrying a female voice. He stared at the door he’d lead himself to and felt a combination of hatred, curiosity, and hope. He wanted this room to hold Sirius. He wanted to open it and see who the other people were. Yet, at the same time his logical half, which he blamed entirely on Hermione, was screaming that it was a trick.

He took a deep intake of breath and reached for the handle. He could hear what they were saying now but at the same time he couldn’t. It was more like tones, or singing, only it wasn’t. Perhaps, it was because of the growing hope in his heart and the building up to the inevitable let down which would lead to him having to pound whoever was really behind the door, playing this trick on him, was hiding. He knew deep in his wounded heart that he still didn’t want to find Malfoy with that infamous smirk of his, gleaming content, so instead he stood there for a while prolonging the moment just listening to the tone of Sirius’ voice, just simply wanting to hear it. If he could have had nothing more he would be happy again. Finally, he sighed after one more round of laughter filtered through the door he pushed it open ready to smash Malfoy’s face into the stone floor.

We all live; we all die

That does not begin to justify you

It’s not what it seems; not what you think

No I must be dreaming

It’s only in my mind; not real life

No I must be dreaming

Chapter Three: Bitter Meetings

Harry felt his mouth drop open as he looked upon Sirius, sitting at a small kitchen table made of oak. The man smiled widely in the midst of laughter with a small teacup in his hand threatening to spill over as his body shook in mirth. On either side of him Harry glimpsed for the first time ever at his parents, both of whom, were chuckling right along with the happy man beside them. He looked at their faces much older than in the pictures in the album Hagrid had given him so many years before. Yet, as he turned back to Sirius he noticed how much younger he looked. Though the man’s hair was still long, the shadows underneath his eyes had dissipated and there were fewer lines of age framing his face.

Harry backed away from the sight, scared and confused by what he was seeing. They were dead, very dead, or at least they were supposed to be. He felt for the door handle behind him and once he made contact with the doorknob he turned it as fast as he could and ran out of the room, behind him he could no longer hear the laughter. He ran back up the staircase, down the hall, into the room he’d woken up in and slammed the door behind him. He turned around and quickly turned the lock and slid down to the floor gasping for breath. He closed his eyes for a moment trying desperately to figure this situation out.

None of this made any sense at all. Those people downstairs were dead. There was no other way to put it. Not only that, but he was supposed to be at Hogwarts spending the holiday with Ron and Hermione who were, no doubt, worried sick about him right now. He opened his eyes back up and tried to pick himself up from the carpeted floor. Once he had found his footing he stood up and looked around. As much as he had wanted it to be Sirius behind that door, now it almost seemed like he’d much rather it have been Malfoy, at least then he could explain what was going on. Harry rubbed his forehead in frustration and made his way over to the bed and sat down on it. For a long while he simply stared at the door in front of him not sure what to do.

Where was he? This was certainly the question worth a million Galleons. This was like an episode from the Twilight Zone he’d managed to sneak a glimpse at over the summer while he was stuck at the Dursley’s. He sighed deeply and began to look around the room for some clue as to what dimension he’d managed to slip through in the middle of the night. He turned over towards the desk, his desk, and noticed a little tag board hung on the wall just above it. Harry got up off of the bed and walked over to it and slowly inspected the images, which were hung wildly upon it. He stared at each of the pictures on display for a long while. All of them featured him with, either Ron or Hermione, Sirius, his parents, or some girl with long dark black hair that he’d never even seen before. He stared at her picture for a long time and could only determine that he was obviously very close to her.

His head began to throb from the immense thinking he had been putting it through and proceeded to walk back over to the bed and flopped down onto it, the image of the girl still on his mind. Who was she? He let out a frustrated grunt and decided bitterly that he didn’t care. At the moment, all he wanted to do was get back to school and talk with Hermione about this whole mess. She’d definitely know what to do. Even Ron would most likely find this tale amusing. Harry sighed deeply and sat up once again from his spot not entirely at ease with the thought of him making himself comfortable on “his” bed.

When he sat up he heard the click of his door opening and was just in time to see the mysterious girl from his photo. She clamored into his room dubbed in muggle clothing. He looked at her in shock; she couldn’t have been any older than eighteen. Yet, it was her appearance that stunned him. Her long locks fell into her eyes and he noticed that throughout it were streaks of red in random places. Her shirt was red and held a picture of “the pumpkin king” on it and clung nicely to her assets showing off her female shape. The pants she wore were baggy and black and had chains hanging off of it in odd locations. Her shoes were black converse and had little skull and crossbones printed on the rubber tops of the shoes. She walked over to him with a half smirk on her face and Harry didn’t even know what to say. “Who are you?” hardly seemed appropriate under the circumstances so he settled for “How did you get in here?”

The girl simply smiled and held out her hand, palm up. In it laid a small Knut. Harry stared at the item and felt his brow furrow in more confusion. He looked back up to her face only to see that it was also contorted in a mixture of boredom and perplexity. “I picked your bloody lock like I’ve done since I learned how to, when Sirius taught me before I went into school.” She stared at him and at the blank expression on his face she continued. “God, you can be so daft sometimes.”

Harry simply watched in awe as she walked over to his bed and sat down right next to him. She looked intently at the ceiling for a while and then spoke as if just to fill the uncomfortable silence they had slipped into. “So, my sad excuse for a father is downstairs and you took refuge in here. Nice, I never thought I’d see the day you ran from Sirius rather than too him.”

Harry turned to her and stared at her form as she fell backwards. “What?” He was now completely confused. Who was this girl and what was she going on about?

“Calling from the real world. Harry Potter, this is Reign Black, wake up.” She said sarcastically. She ran her hands through his hair and ruffled it making it stick up even worse than it typically did. She laughed at the affect it caused and then stood up from the bed. “I assume I should at least say ‘hi’ to him.” She said bitterly as she walked to the door. “He is my father.” With that young Reign left Harry’s room dropping the Knut just in front of the door. Harry stared at the little “gift,” still lost as to where he was or what exactly was going on.

He stood up from the bed and followed the trail the girl had made to the door and gently picked up the small piece of money. He then, holding the warm metal in his hand, walked back over to his desk and, as if knowing what to do with it, he opened a small ceramic box. The box was decorated with a hand-painted rendition of all of the characters from Nightmare Before Christmas and in the corner it was signed with “Happy Christmas to Harry from Reign Black” in a gold paint. He tenderly dropped the Knut on top of the collection that was already in there. After shutting the lid carefully he turned back around to look at the door that had been left slightly open and he wondered why exactly she had been so bitter about Sirius and her implications that both he and the man he was so found of were close.

It says hold on and take this ride

And set aside memories of all the times

When you collide

Then you’ll leave me here to die

Heres the things I meant but I never said...

Chapter Four: Misguided Youth

Harry furrowed his brow yet again as he thought more about the young girl that had just left his room. He stared at the pictures on the tag board for a while longer and then he finally opted to go downstairs and explore his new surroundings. He had come to conclude that he certainly couldn’t logically figure out why he was here, so he may as well try to figure out who these people were, outside of the obvious, and more like for him, try to figure out what they were like.

Harry walked down the white hallway yet again and then made the track down to the kitchen with his heart still pounding loudly in his chest. He cursed it for its overreaction because he already knew what was behind the door. So why was it still beating like crazy? He shrugged off the feeling, trying not to think about what he was about to do and finally managed to push the door open just in time to see Reign pouring herself a bowl of Boo Berry cereal as Sirius watched her silently over his newspaper. Harry watched mutely in the doorway as father and daughter dodged glances from one another before he too took a seat next to his own father and across from his mother, still trying his best to regulate his heart rate.

He grabbed the box of cereal after Reign had finished with it and poured some into the bowl that had been waiting for him. He took a few bites, in the mist of the uncomfortable silence that had taken over the room since he had first entered it. Soon he heard Sirius fold up his newspaper and felt the older man look straight at him with a level gaze. Harry tried to avoid his stare for as long as he could. Then his godfather spoke up and Harry found himself meet the man’s eyes. “Sorry if I scared you. Your father and I just wanted to surprise you, not make you shit yourself in fear.” Sirius said with a slight chuckle, which was greeted with a short and sharp laugh from Reign. Sirius glared at his daughter who just ignored him. Harry watched the two play their game for a while and found that he didn’t even know what to say to the two of them that could possibly help the obvious problem.

Harry took a few more bites of his cereal as he slowly calculated what he could say to these people as an explanation for his behavior. He sighed deeply and then spoke, “You just scared me, I wasn’t expecting you to be here and I overreacted.”

Harry’s father was now giving him a steady gaze equal to that of Sirius’ and suddenly Harry felt as if he were trying to find a lie somewhere behind his statement. After a brief moment the man before him appeared to be satisfied that his son was telling the truth, but then after another pithy moment he stated, “Now, Harry, if this is one of Reign’s pranks that you’re in on, just say so.”

As soon as these words had left James’ lips Reign stood up from her seat, clenching her hands in fists, with rage. “I resent that!” She screamed. Then she slowly looked around the table at each of the party members in turn, and lowered her voice, only slightly, and continued. “Why is it somehow my fault if he freaks out? I didn’t pay him to do it because I thought it’d be funny to see Sirius’ face hit the bloody floor. If that’s what you’re thinking! Harry did that little number all on his own.” She glared at Harry as if he had done something terrible to her and then she turned to Sirius and gave him the same even defiant stare. She lowered her voice even more and said. “I was going to attempt to be civil to you, but I’m not anymore.” Harry watched intently as the anger inside this young girl before him seemed to reach a boiling point. She then continued when everyone in the room knew she should have stopped. “You are a sad excuse for a father!” She yelled out and instantly she went quiet, in shock of what she had just said. Her gaze instantly went from Sirius to the floor where her eyes stayed as she began to mutter, barely audible to the other people in the room; the things she had really meant to say instead of what had came out.

“You see Harry more often than you see me,” Her voice cracked slightly as her hair fell in front of her face, covering up the glossy look her eyes were beginning to get. “I’ve tried to make you happy and it just doesn’t work...” Her voice cracked again as it began to fail her under the weight of the tears that were begging to fall from her eyes. She took a deep breath and tried her hardest to continue. “I’m you’re kid not-“She trailed off not able to finish her thoughts and then she left the room before anyone had the chance to see the first tear fall from her eyes. Harry’s mother stood up from her own seat and followed the young girl’s trek out of the room.

Once she had left the room Harry turned his attention to Sirius, whose eyes had also begun to well up. Harry, who had never seen Sirius cry in all the time he had known him, suddenly felt small and insignificant. He stood up from his seat, ready to leave the room as Sirius mumbled, “I made her cry” as if he were shocked by the affect he seemed to have on his daughter. Harry decided then that it was the perfect time for him to make his exit. He left just in time to here his own father state matter-of-factly. “You always make her cry.”

Harry shut the door softly behind him and slowly made his way up to his room, pondering these five simple words. What could possibly cause this many problems between blood relatives? His brow furrowed slightly as he continued to think on it. He could here his mother talking softly with Reign from within the girl’s room that was down merely a few feet from his own. He could hear the girl sniffle slightly and his mother trying to comfort her, which ultimately made him feel slightly better about the whole ordeal he was now having to go through.

He stood outside his new bedroom’s door and stared at his doorknob seeing his warped reflection within the gold knob. He looked so odd to himself without his scar. He slowly felt the smooth skin where the mark of his fame used to be and sighed deeply in confusion. He didn’t know whether he liked being stuck in this new place or not. He heard the door to Reign’s room open and he looked up to see his mother step out of it. She smiled weakly at her son and continued on down the flight of stairs. Harry watched her form disappear down the stairs and knew that she was heading for the kitchen, most likely to give Sirius a good yelling at. He knew this was most likely the case because he had seen a similar, granted much angrier, look on her face once before, in Snape’s memory that he had had the misfortune of seeing.

He looked down the hall a few feet at Reign’s door, he could still hear the soft crying leaking through the door. He wanted to know what was wrong. He needed to know if he was going to function in this world that was nothing like his own. He sighed slightly, making up his mind, and wandered back down the stairs. He reached the kitchen door and simply stood outside of it knowing that if he had heard their laughter through it earlier, he would certainly hear the conversation going on now.

“Yes, I probably should have paid more attention to her over my last few visits.” Sirius said, Harry could tell that it was as calmly as he could.

“Probably?” Lily said indignantly. “Sirius, she’s right, you do spend too much time with Harry. Granted we appreciate it, but there are other people in this house who need you.” Harry tried his best to fill in the blanks that he had missed since his mother had first entered the room, which was merely seconds before he had gotten there himself.

“I know that, and I know what she wants but, unfortunately, I can’t do that.” Sirius yelled finally losing his temper.

“It’s not like you can’t-“

“James, I can’t take her into hiding with me. We both know she’d die!” The man stopped and Harry assumed that he was trying to control his rising temper. “I can’t stand it myself.” He started more softly, lowering his voice to level to an average decibel level. “I hate not being able to do anything for her, but I do this for you. This is what comes with being your secret keeper.”

Harry’s mouth dropped at this revelation and instantly his mind began to spin with new thoughts. He pushed these thoughts quickly aside and continued to listen to the people in the other room. “And we appreciate it. But maybe your daughter has a point.”

Lily cut her husband off and went on with his statement. “You should pay more attention to her and less to Harry.”

The room fell silent as they waited for Sirius’ reply. Harry stood outside striving to hear, hoping that he wouldn’t miss it and suddenly he heard the man speak in a defeated tone. “Yes, I know this, and I’ve tried but she doesn’t talk to me anymore, she yells, and she doesn’t listen.” He sighed deeply and the sound of someone standing from their chair filled the void as it filtered through the door to Harry’s ears. “So, I give up.”

“SIRIUS!” Both Harry’s parents yelled in shock. Again the room fell silent. Harry started to back away from the door knowing that he had heard enough for today but still not entirely ready to leave he stayed put.

“I didn’t mean that.” Sirius said. “I’ll try to talk to her but she won’t listen.” He stopped and then added as an afterthought. “She’s too much like me.”

Harry watched as the door began to open slightly and he quickly ran up the stairs to his room as quietly as he could. Shortly after he had entered his room he heard the footsteps of the three kitchen dwellers in the hall outside his room. He sighed heavily as they knocked on Reign’s door. He walked back over to his desk and sat down in his chair and just stared at the photographs lining the tag board.

So Sirius was secret keeper. That explained why his parents were alive and somewhat, why Sirius’ daughter was so upset with him. Harry’s eyes drifted to the girl’s picture and his mind began to reel once again. He still wanted to know more about the situation he was in but he wasn’t entirely brave enough to go and ask them about it. So, instead, he simply situated himself, and stared at each of the photos, trying his best to figure out the stories behind them on his own.

Calm before the storm; set it off

And the sun burnt out tonight

Reception less than warm; set it off

And the sun burnt out tonight

Chapter Five: Empty Threats

Harry had finally managed to create the perfect picture in his mind about the world he was in but he quickly lost it when he heard a loud ‘thud’ resound from outside of his window. Harry looked towards his window and suddenly became more aware of Sirius’ warnings to his daughter about her opening her door, and noticed that they were gradually increasing in volume. The warnings dissipated quickly as it began to register in everyone’s heads what had just happened.

Harry sat quietly at his desk, afraid to move, but eventually he gave into his curiosity and got up to look out of his window. Below him, on the ground, Reign was casually brushing the snow that had gotten on her cloak, after a less than graceful escape from her room. Once she was sure she was cleaned off enough she headed off towards the woods just past the Quidditch pitch. When she had reached the edge of the awaiting forest, she apparated and a loud crack echoed everywhere. Instantly, Harry knew his parents and worse even, Sirius, had heard her decent from the Potter’s house too.

As if to confirm his suspicions Sirius growled out a cuss word. Shortly after this outburst of obvious outrage, Harry heard the distinct click of a lock being opened and then a door creaking open, again, Sirius began to cuss, to himself, under the findings of the girl’s room being completely empty, without any signs as to where his daughter had run off too.

Harry sighed openly as he went over to his bed, sat down and continued to stare at the door as he listened to the muffled words that were exchanged between his godfather and his parents. He had figured out from the way they hadn’t trusted his word in the kitchen earlier, and from the pictures on his wall, that he was obviously very close to Reign, and therefore would cover for her in such a situation as this because he would most likely know where she had gone. Of course, in this particular moment in time and space, he didn’t, but the confrontation with the three adults was evident whether he knew about Reign or not. So he just sat as he waited for these three people, that he barely knew at all, to interrogate him.

Overall, it took them only five minutes to stop bickering amongst themselves before they finally entered Harry’s room. When they emerged within his room, Harry looked up at them unsure as to how well this plan of his was going to go over. Maybe he should have taken his chances and run away too. Maybe that would have been safer than the wrath of his obviously distraught godfather.

He stared up at Sirius as the man faked a smile at him and casually walked over to his bedside. The much taller man then knelt down on his knees and looked Harry directly in the eyes. The man’s dark eyes looked searchingly into Harry’s emerald green ones until he gave out a final sigh and spoke softly. “Harry, do you know where Reign is?” His voice sounded both concerned and exhausted at the same time.

Harry looked at him and shook his head. “I don’t.”

Sirius glanced down at the ground. “Don’t lie, Harry. It’s not worth protecting her over something this stupid.”

“But I’m not lying.” Harry pleaded so earnestly that Sirius’ gaze fell back onto the boy’s face. His godfather stared at him for a long while before he looked back at James and Lily in obvious frustration. Harry followed his gaze and then stared at his parents. They had the same concerned yet exhausted fatigue as Sirius and Harry suddenly wished that he could at least tell them something. Anything.

“Are you sure you don’t know anything.” James asked as he stared at Harry.

Harry stared at his father for a second. “Are you positive that you didn’t find something in her room?” He said suddenly, but caught that he had even said it a little too late.

“Harry, don’t talk back to your father.” Lily warned.

Harry looked at her as an odd feeling filled his being. He felt ashamed, disappointed somehow by what he had just done. He sighed deeply unsure of what to do and then stood up from his position on his bed. He honestly had no clue about any of this but at the same time he felt as if he should. He slowly walked over to the tag board. He stared at the pictures, while Sirius and his parents watched him intently.

He stayed in this position for a few moments before a picture caught his eye. It was of Reign dancing with a man with long red locks. Harry stared at it for a long while as he tried to figure out why this particular picture bothered him so much. He stared at the man and then spoke aloud. “Bill.” He could feel his parents and Sirius watching him closely as he put two and two together, and then he finally turned around to face them once he was positive of the man’s identity. “She’s in Egypt.”

The three adults eyes grew wide as this information registered fully within their minds. Harry looked at each of them in turn as his mind began to reel just as badly as his parents’ undoubtedly were at that moment in time. Why had he said that? And worse yet, why did it seem to make sense? For nothing about the idea made any practical sense at all. He was torn away from his thoughts as Sirius exclaimed. “Why the bloody hell would she go to Egypt?”

The man looked at Harry who only shrugged his shoulders and muttered. “I don’t know.”

Sirius threw up his hands in frustration as he began to pace absentmindedly around Harry’s room like an aggravated animal. “What do we do know?” He asked as he looked up at his best friend of so many years.

James only shrugged his shoulders and looked intensely at the man across from him. “We wait for her to come home, I guess.”

Harry sighed deeply as the three adults retreated out of his room after having another brief discussion on how Sirius was going to ‘kill’ her when she came back. Harry though, was left alone with his own thoughts, after they had finally left, but it only took a little while before he grew lonely and walked out of his room and wandered down to the living room where Sirius and his parents sat silently around the fireplace. Harry edged towards them and sat down beside Sirius who only smiled half-heartedly at him and patted him on the leg gently in appreciation for what he had told him earlier.

As they sat in silence Harry took his time to take a good look at the decor. The decorations for the room were mainly paintings of forest scenes and other wilderness depictions, all of which were hung up against the white walls, making for a very well thought out contrast between the colors of both the paintings and the wall. His eyes were then drawn to the empty tree in the corner with boxes of old ornaments sitting around it waiting to be placed on the awaiting tree.

“You want to decorate it now?”

Harry looked over at his mother questioningly, first not entirely catching her meaning but then, when he understood, he just stared at her blankly. He’d never decorated a Christmas tree before. The Dursley’s would never let him and aside from that he usually spent Christmas at Hogwarts, and the one time that he didn’t Sirius couldn’t exactly leave Grimmauld Place to go collect the tree and the other members of the order were much to busy to do so, too.

He stared at his mother unsurely but then nodded his head. She smiled at him and stood up and walked over to the tree. Harry followed as he heard his father and Sirius fall into a bit of chatter.

His mother carefully opened one of the boxes and began to pull out each individually wrapped ornament, unwrapped them, and slowly began handing them to Harry as she took the time to tell him of their origins along with other stories of both her mother and of Harry’s father’s family as she gave him an odd assortment of both muggle and wizarding decorations.

Harry, though, was not put off by the combination of Christmas decorations, as he hung on his mother’s every word as she spoke softly to him. He learned more about his family’s past in that half hour of decorating than in the last six years of his knowing that he was, in fact, a wizard. When he had placed the final decoration on the back of the tree his mother looked at him and asked, “Traditional star or fairy?”

Harry looked at her slightly confused by the question. “You have to top it off with something, hun, so, what will it be this year?”

Harry laughed uncomfortably at his stupidity and quickly selected the star, to which his mother kindly said that she had figured that he would as she handed it gently to him. Once Harry had done the honor of placing the star on the top of the tree he carefully climbed back down the stepladder and looked at his mother who was contently staring at her husband. “Why don’t we go into the kitchen and you can tell me about your little schoolmates.”

Harry agreed and she led him back into the kitchen where they sat and talked. Harry was amazed by how easy his mother was to talk to, considering the all around oddness of the situation. He slowly grew more comfortable with what he was doing and eventually began to tell her as much as he could about Ron and Hermione, even Neville came into play once when Harry had slipped up and said that the boy was a bit accident prone.

Lily only listened to her son and laughed in some places, which had typically followed with her stating that he was a lot like his father, and always had been. And then she took the time to tell him about some of her experiences with the marauders before she had begun to date James. She was about to go into a particularly embarrassing moment for Sirius when a door slammed shut and they heard Sirius begin to yell frantically. Lily’s face grew concerned and she stood up from her seat and left the room. Harry followed and as soon as he had entered the living room he saw Sirius standing less than a foot away from his daughter as they screamed at each other.

“Where were you?” Sirius growled.

“Why hello, dad, good to see you too.” Reign muttered as she tried to walk past the man. He quickly grabbed her hand, in a way to prevent her from leaving the room. “You’re not going anywhere, missy, until you tell me where you were.”

“Egypt. Can I go now?” She spat out venomously.

Sirius glared at her as he tried to keep his temper. “No, you cannot. Why were you there?”

Reign just rolled her eyes at him and quickly danced around the truth. “Well, it’s better than going to see Remus isn’t it?”

Harry’s interest was perked slightly as he looked at Reign and Sirius in confusion, which no one saw. He watched as Sirius’ face went rigid at the sound of his old friend’s name. Reign smiled slightly knowing she had her father exactly where she wanted him and continued. “Wouldn’t want that now would we?” She laughed slightly. “It’s a shame he turned me away. Said he wouldn’t want you to get mad. Now does that sound like a psycho back-stabber to you?”

Sirius’ glare only intensified as he let go of his daughter’s hand. “Do you want to jeopardize this families safety?” He made a wild hand gesture towards the Potter’s, which were all watching this family spat from the sidelines. “Do you want to see them dead?” Sirius stopped and waited for some kind of protest from Reign but when she said nothing he continued. “Given any chance Remus would turn them into Voldemort and then what?” He yelled passionately.

Reign just looked blankly at her father and continued with her defense. “Remus is my family. He was your friend. I don’t understand how you could even feel this way. And you can’t stop me or mum from seeing him, I mean, mum’s visiting him right now. What are you going to do about that, huh?” Sirius’ face flushed with rage as he quickly lifted his right hand and Reign’s eyes grew wide with terror. Sirius’ hand began to fall as it registered quickly within Reign’s mind that he was actually going to strike her.

Harry watched as the information they had just spouted into the birth of the living room, began to dawn fully on him. Sirius still thought that Lupin was the spy. Harry’s eyes grew wide as his mind began to reel in quick thought. Of course he would, because the Shrieking Shack incident never took place in this world. So obviously neither Lupin nor Sirius would know that...

“Pettigrew’s the spy.”

The words had slipped out of Harry’s mouth before he had even realized he was going to say it. Instantly, his hands went up to cover his mouth as Sirius’ hand stopped just in time before it made contact with his daughter’s now white with fear cheek. Harry’s parents slowly turned their heads towards him as they tried to understand where he would have gotten such an idea. Harry’s eyes shifted from his parents confused gaze to Sirius’, whose own eyes had grown wide with shock as he stared down at his hand.

“You almost hit me!” Reign stated in utter astonishment.

Sirius stepped back and looked over at his daughter as though he were afraid he would possibly hurt her. He looked over at Harry and then back at his daughter, suddenly torn between the two situations. Then he finally looked back at his daughter. “I didn’t mean too. I never wanted to strike you.”

“You didn’t.” Sirius continued to stare at Reign, without hearing what she had said.

“Oh my God. I’m just like my father.”

While Harry watched his godfather slowly edge away from his daughter, who was now truly concerned about her father and was now trying to get him to understand that he most assuredly was not like his father, his parents had made their way over to him. Harry looked at them, realizing that they, unlike Sirius, were actually going to see what he had meant by saying Pettigrew was the spy. He felt slightly sick, as he wished that he were now in his common room at Hogwarts enjoying Christmas with Ron and Hermione rather than being here. His eyes then quickly shifted from his parents to the floor.

“Harry, what do you mean, Peter’s the spy?”

Harry avoided their gaze and looked over at Reign who was now listening to what was going on with Harry because she was not entirely ready to deal with her issues with her father just yet and she also wanted to hear what exactly he knew. Under the weight of these added eyes he began to wish, even more, that he had Hermione beside him to tell him what he should do. He continued to look over in Reign’s direction and noticed that Sirius’ shock at his last action began to diminish once he had lost his daughter’s attention and the two made a silent agreement to continue with their argument at a later time. Harry sighed deeply. “Nothing.”

“It’s definitely not: ‘Nothing.’” James retorted. He looked Harry straight in the face as the boy met his gaze and tried to come up with something clever to say but couldn’t. Oh, how he absolutely wanted Hermione with him to tell him what to do. As he looked at his father he quickly decided to tell the truth, well, part of it anyway.

“Pettigrew’s the spy. Lupin had nothing to do with it. He thinks you’re the spy.” Harry stated firmly as he looked at Sirius. Sirius’ face was blank of all expression. James just looked over at Sirius with confusion written plainly on his face.

“But we met up with Peter a week ago. He still seemed to be fine with not being secret keeper, like we had played with for awhile, but even then that was nearly fifteen years ago when we made that decision.” James then looked to his son. “So, what would give you such an idea?”

Harry just looked at him and shrugged his shoulders, figuring that it was not worth his time to try and explain himself. He wouldn’t know what to say even if he could tell them the truth, so he lowered his eyes to the ground, and stood with all eyes on him as he waited for someone else to talk first. When the voice finally emerged from the silence he found that it annoyed him greatly. “I never told you that.”

Harry then glanced up over at Reign and he stared vacantly at the girl. How had this somehow gone back to her? It had nothing to do with her. It was about him, Sirius, and Lupin, even if two of the party members involved didn’t know it. Then, before he could stop himself, he felt the anger of everything hit him full force as it had been doing frequently since his fifth year and then he quickly laid into the unsuspecting girl.

“My God! Why does everything have to revolve around you? Sirius likes me more than you, well, from what I just saw. I doubt that. He’s your father, he loves you, treat him with respect.” He took a deep breath and then listed the other thing she had now somehow gotten to involve her. “I know about Lupin and suddenly you think it has to deal with you. You ever think that I might actually have other means of figuring things out! The world does not revolve around you. If anything you are the least of its problems.” Harry yelled out and then looked at the girl who stood shocked for a moment but quickly recovered. She laughed a bit and then came back with her own smug comment.

“Ooh, ickle Harry yelled at me! I’m scared.” She shook her hands in mock fear and continued. “And by the way, I could care less about how you found out about Remus not being the spy, but informing me to respect that man,” She gestured quickly towards Sirius, “who spends most of his time in hiding and never sees me is pointless. If he doesn’t take the time to show he cares, then why should I?”

“Because he’s your father!”

Reign rolled her eyes but said nothing. After a moment of silence Harry figured he had won the argument and quickly started towards the staircase to go and hide in his room for the rest of the evening. He’d certainly done enough damage for one day and he definitely did not want to cause anymore. But once his foot had hit the bottom stair Sirius’ daughter seemed to have found her voice. “And what are you going to do if I don’t?”

Harry casually looked over at her, completely forgetting that there were any added people in the room, opened his mouth and came out with the one thing that he had on his mind. The one thing that had been his answer to everyone that had even mildly annoyed him since Sirius’ death, only this time he said it out loud. “I’ll kill you.”

Reign laughed at this, which only upset him further. “Really?” She retorted, as if this were the funniest thing in the world.

Harry glared at her. Finding that he really did not like this girl very much, at all. “Yeah, I will. I have to take out a dark lord, why not add another person to the list?” As soon as the final bit of his threat had left his mouth he instantly felt the presence of his parents and Sirius, who were now looking at him as though he were a completely different being.

Harry stared at them and then before they had the chance to begin being outraged with him or whoever had told him that particular secret, Harry ran up the stairs as fast as his legs could take him. He opened the first door he came upon and stepped inside the room. He could hear the voices downstairs, each of which were trying their best to figure out how he had known that particular bit of information about his young life. Harry then carefully walked over to the mirror over the sink and stared at his scar-less reflection. He’d created a mess in a matter of three sentences and now he was stuck. He sighed deeply, all he wanted right now was to be at Hogwarts, with his friends, even if that that meant there would be no Sirius.

Broken this fragile thing now

And I can't; I can't pick up the pieces

And I've thrown my words all around

But I can't; I can't give you the reason

Chapter Six: A Stranger's Heart

Harry stared down at the sink after looking steadily at his reflection as he slowly realized that he wasn't the same person as he was when he had fallen upon this world. He was different, somehow, confused more than ever, yes, but somehow willing to let go of the one thing he had thought he'd needed. He looked up at his reflection carefully clenching and unclenching his hands into fists as he tried to ebb away the rage that had been induced by Sirius' daughter.

He would always need Sirius, but ultimately, he did not want to stay here. It was too odd to see his parents alive. And the idea of Sirius having a daughter was much too confusing for him to deal with. He sighed deeply as he began to pace back and fourth in the small bathroom. How would he get back?

"You can't." He muttered to himself after his mind could find nothing clever to come up with. Oh, how he needed Hermione's brains and Ron's overreactions, he needed his friends.

He'd have to wait it out until he was sent back to his dimension. "Or something." He mumbled to himself as he turned the golden doorknob and turned it slowly. The door opened and Harry stepped outside into the hallway. The house was completely silent, eerie almost. He had expected yelling, screaming from all parties at the confusion of his knowing. He stood in the hallway waiting for some sounds to escape from the depths of downstairs but nothing came. So he waited, in the hallway, for something, anything. Some kind of sign that would show that there was some form of life within the house to show that he wasn't as alone as he felt. He sighed deeply and took a few steps towards his bedroom. When he had reached his room and he reached for the handle the screaming began. But rather than it being both Sirius and his daughter it appeared to be his own father screaming at everyone out of pure frustration. Harry hung his head down as he heard "Dumbledore told him" being screamed continually in disbelief.

Harry knew exactly why his father was acting like it, he probably would too if he were in his position. With that announcement it meant that Dumbledore had taken away "Harry's" innocence. He could never just be a normal kid; he was prey. Prey, that would have to fight back, and maybe even die for the greater good. Whatever that meant, Harry didn't even know anymore. He felt the hot tears start to roll down his cheeks as he felt the pain of his impending doom start to dawn upon him, yet again, since Dumbledore had told him in his own world. He opened the door, stepped in side, and shut it behind him as he let himself slide down the frame, yet again. Once he had hit the floor he curled himself up into a fetal position and just cried over every pain and broken dream he had had in the last few years.

"Harry." A cautious voice quivered slightly as the bed creaked and he heard footsteps coming towards him.

He looked up and saw Reign coming towards him. She knelt down beside him and put her hand on his shoulder. He resisted the urge to swat it away and scream obscenities at her, knowing that it would only make things worse for him in the long run. He wiped the tears away, finding that he was suddenly embarrassed by them and just stared at her in hatred as she made herself comfortable beside him.

"Sirius wanted me to apologize. And he's right, I owe you an apology... and I am sorry." She looked at him as her blue eyes dimmed slightly as she saw the glare she was now receiving. "I really am, I should have just held my tongue."

"Yeah, you should have," Harry spat out.

She poked at the mesh sleeves on her undershirt and sighed under the sting of those four words. "I deserved that. But you know you weren't exactly kind either," she said quickly but then stopped. She sat quiet for a while before she laughed slightly at the thoughts in her head. "You opened Pandora's box, I do hope you know that."

Harry looked at her suddenly seeing her in a slightly different light, yet still disliking her at the same time, as the tale of Pandora came to his mind. Such an odd myth Pandora's box was. A woman blessed with curiosity opened the box, which happened to let chaos and all bad things escape from it to make the world a terrible place. How true it was, how true Reign's statement was; he'd shattered everything about this world. He sighed deeply and muttered. "Let's just pray there was 'hope' at the bottom of it."

Reign looked at him. "I think with that comment we can be assured that it was," she said with a slight smile that practically begged him to like her. Then she hugged him gently rather unexpectedly. Harry felt odd, having just threatened to kill her, that he didn't really mind the gesture at all. Something about her just then, offered not only forgiveness but acceptance also, towards the both of them.

He patted her on the back not wanting to let her get too close to him. "You're bi-polar."

She laughed and swatted him on the shoulder. "You sound like my dad now."

"He's right then."

They then fell into an awkward silence as the yelling from downstairs filtered through the hardwood door. This time they belonged to Sirius and it seemed to be trying to tell Harry's parents that it might actually be better than it seems. Apparently, Harry's parents begged to differ. Harry felt so torn as he listened to the voices. His parents had valid points about the death and war part but it wasn't like he could be so out of it so that he didn't even know that there was a war going on around him. Ultimately, Harry had to admit that the idea of him not knowing that the war was over him made sense, considering that he knew so little about his own life in the first place, but not to see it at all was just a bit overboard. As he listened for the reply, Sirius pointed out his assertions, and Harry found that they were everything that he had just thought. There was silence for a while before Harry's father stepped in and said that he only felt worse about the way they had to live knowing now that his son knew that he was being, in affect, hunted.

Harry's attention was drawn away from the discomforting voices as his eyes were drawn back to the notice board in his room. He looked at the picture of Reign with Bill and he suddenly wanted to understand why that had made so much sense to tell Sirius. And, more importantly, how it had actually wound up being true. He would most likely never understand the primary, let alone the latter, but at least he could probably figure out where they had met. As he turned to Reign he heard his parents and Sirius now screaming about Remus Lupin's loyalties and now finding that, in this case, he agreed more with his parents, who had seemingly chosen his side over Sirius', and were now actually supporting Lupin for the first time in who knew how many years.

"How'd you meet Bill?"

"Hmm?" Reign asked now being drawn away from the argument her father was losing.

"How'd you meet Bill?" He stated again now seeing why this would be weird. He probably already knew the answer, or at least he was supposed to anyway.

"Harry," Reign said as she stared at him in disbelief. "God, you've been acting strangely." She stated more to herself than to anyone else but continued with an explanation anyway. "He's your Defence teacher. He started there during my seventh year. He's twenty-seven, so I refrained from telling everyone but you because I knew that they wouldn't be able handle the news too well." Harry stared at her blankly trying to figure out this timeline now. She was about eighteen, he'd figured that much out. So Bill was the Defence teacher; that made sense as to how she would have met him. But he knew that Bill loved working at Gringott's. So, why would he leave his job in Egypt?

"But Egypt, I thought he worked at Gringott's."

"He did, but he left to be closer to his parents." Once she had seen the confused look on his face she knew that he probably figured she was lying so she continued. "He's been there for the last two weeks because he's visiting with some of his old friends from work."

Harry looked at her and sighed deeply, all right, fine, that worked too. Then he smiled slightly at the thought of how Ron would handle having one of his older brothers actually teaching one of his classes. Oh, that would definitely be interesting enough to see. But then, again, when he pondered more on the subject, what had happened to the teacher before that, and would he even know them? Harry's mind reeled as he suddenly realized that each answer he received would ultimately lead to more and more questions. This was a road that was going to lead him to a dead end, but he had to know the answers, otherwise, things could only get worse for him in this world, and he didn't want that. He didn't know how long he was going to be stuck here so why should he make it more miserable than he had just made it for himself.

"So, who was the Defence teacher before that?"

Reign laughed a bit at the absurdness of the question but again tried her best to answer it. "Quirrell. He 'quit' because he apparently just was ready to retire from the whole teacher thing. But everyone knows that he just ran off to join up with Voldemort. He's probably dead now the stupid git." Harry thought about it and found that this too, worked quite well with everything else. It made sense. Finally, things were beginning to make sense! "Harry, did you bump your head or something this morning, and lose your memory?"

Harry winced a bit at the half-heartedly asked question. He didn't want to tell her anything about himself. He just wanted to get as much information out of her as he possibly could. She didn't need to be brought to the level of confusion he was in right now. It wouldn't really benefit anyone, but then again, she did ask. He sighed deeply, silently debating whether or not a lie would be better than the truth in this instant. He could still hear his parents debating over the benefits and definite cons of Harry knowing the truth about his life. He shifted his eyes so he was now staring down at the carpet and suddenly knew that in all actuality a lie was never really better than the truth, as cliché as that statement was. He then, turned over to look at Reign, who was waiting patiently for an explanation for his increasingly strange behavior. He stared at her for a long while noticing that, from the expression on her face, she didn't expect anything from him aside from an explanation, whether the explanation was for better or worse, all she wanted was a reason for his actions.

Harry sighed deeply. "I'm not exactly the Harry you know." He looked her straight in the eyes as she laughed openly at his statement and wiggled her fingers in feigned fright. When her eyes finally met his, her laughter dissipated and her smile faded greatly.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know you, I don't know my parents, and Sirius," He took a deep shuddering breath before he continued as the image of Sirius falling back into the curtain resurfaced in his mind, "is supposed to be dead." He looked down at the ground as he felt Reign move her feet underneath her body so that she was more comfortable. He could tell by the silence around him that his parents had most likely refrained from screaming and were now just talking over what they were going to do with him, and that now, before him, Reign was trying to understand what he had just said all on her own.

"I don't understand." Reign, wanting this to be a sick joke but ultimately picking up on the vibe that it wasn't, just asked instead of furthering her futile attempts at comprehension. Harry just looked down at the carpet as he poked at a few of the fibers, unable to look this bi-polar punk in the eyes, and told her everything.

Everything he had ever felt in the last five years leading up until that very morning, the back story about how his parents had died, how Sirius had been accused of murder and how he had escaped from Azkaban, how Sirius had died last year trying to save his life. He told her of Lupin, Snape, and Pettigrew, and how the Weasley's were basically his family where he came from. About the prophecy and everything Dumbledore had told him about it. All in all, his tale took nearly an hour and a half to tell and when he had finished he suddenly became worried by what her opinion on the matter would be. Would she think it was a joke, or would she take him seriously, and most of all, now that he told someone could he go home? For after he had told his tale he realized how much he actually missed everyone.

"That's quite the story. You should put it down on paper and get it published," she said finally. Then she placed her hand on his shoulder once again, silently asking for him to look at her. He did what the silent voice said and looked at her to see her smiling slightly despite the obvious oddness of what he had just revealed. "So what are we going to do?" she asked.

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, wait for a portal to open up so I can go back home I guess."

She squeezed his shoulder and chuckled. "I guess that's about all we can do, I certainly don't know where to find the Mirror of Erised to send you back with."

He nodded in agreement slightly shocked that he was getting on so well with this girl considering he still wasn't entirely sure if he liked her or not. She was still self-centered, but obviously she had a caring side. They were silent for a long while as Harry watched Reign in silence as she began to dig deeper into her own thoughts. He was almost positive that they had everything to do with what he had just told her but her face was so blank that he couldn't be entirely sure. It was amazing to him how she seemed to hide everything away. It definitely wasn't healthy because it made it so that one would never know when she would blow up next. She was a pillar of emotions of which removing one stone could change the way it would crumble. Suddenly, a tear rolled down her cheek and she spoke suddenly. "Sirius died?"

"Yeah, and I miss him terribly. He was the closest thing I've ever had to a father."

She gently wiped away the escaped tear and hung her head in shame. "I've been horrid. I don't mean half the things I say, I just get so mad. He always either ignores me or yells at me." She fell silent as she thought on what she had just said and then continued with the truth rather than her deluded self-tales. "And even then that's not entirely true, he does things with me like take me to the mall. Stupid stuff like that when he can because he's so busy protecting you, but I do appreciate it." She sighed. "I guess I should give him more credit, huh?"

"Yeah you probably should. Granted he's a bit broody at times but it's one of the things you just get used to. You can't really knock him for it, though."

"Yeah, one of the many qualities I happened to inherit," she said bitterly, and Harry found him roll his eyes at her.

"Maybe." He stated with a shrug.

Reign laughed. "So, do you want to go downstairs and face the wrath of our parents, or would you rather stay right here?" She hoisted herself up off of the floor and let out a huge yawn as she stretched her legs.

"I think I want to stay here." She nodded her agreement as Harry got up off of the floor too and walked over to his bed. He sat down and yawned also.

"Alright, well, I'll be in the other room if you feel the need to tell me more about peacock-like Professors and brooding almost-fathers." She winked at him before she opened the door and stepped out and left his view.

He sighed deeply and laid down on his bed. How was he going to face the people downstairs? He couldn't tell them what he told her, he knew that he wouldn't be able to. He was brave enough to do many things but that certainly was not one of them. He shut his eyes letting images of his threat and Reign with her dad fighting, knowing now that the situation between them was far too complex for him to even comprehend because he would never have to be stuck in that situation in any sense. He opened his eyes and rolled over on his side so he could see the dark night sky and the gleaming half-moon in his window. It was a beautiful sight, so calm compared to the way he felt. He sighed and closed his eyes trying his best to fall asleep for the night, for if he woke up and was still in this room, he'd face the storm, if not, then he'd simply spend Christmas with his mates. Both he was prepared to do, but the latter seemed more important than ever.

Drain the pressure from the swelling
This sensation’s overwhelming
Give me a long kiss goodnight
And everything will be alright
Tell me that I won’t feel a thing
Just give me Novocain



Harry rolled over in his bed and stared at the clock hanging on the blue wall. Eleven thirty.

He’d been in bed for an hour. The idea had been to go to sleep. Not only that, but to go home too. So far he had failed in both “plans.” He was neither asleep nor at home, and since he wanted the latter more than he had ever thought possible, he decided that the Mirror of Erised could care less about him. Or, on the other hand, just wanted him to stay in this world a bit longer.

"Maybe there’s something else I need to see?" he muttered to himself. The sound of his voice seemed much louder than it actually was within the void of the room.

He groaned once more and rolled over in his bed, yet again, realizing that instead of being teleported home (if that was indeed what had happened) he was still just laying in a foreign bed with a headache. And not just any headache, it was the great white of all headaches. The kind that started at the back of the eyes and then slowly traveled to the forehead where it resided until it grew bored and moved to the nape of the neck where it settled in to reek havoc on any attempt the mind made at forming an intelligent thought. So, amidst the blinding pain of the great white headache Harry continued to wish, to will, himself home.

He laid in his bed and focused his full attention to only that of his life. He closed his eyes and let the images of the past filter through his mind. The first time he was in Diagon Alley. His first year at Hogwarts. The first time he was at the Burrow, his real home. Hermione and Ron bickering. Quidditch, which mingled with joyous rounds of, “Weasley is our King.”

His mind then traveled to the less pleasant pictures from his past that happened to be etched plainly in his mind. Quirrell, Lockhart, the fake Mad-Eye Moody, also known as Barty Crouch Jr. The Triwizard Cup. Cedric’s untimely death, Sirius’ death, both things he could now accept. And with that final thought he opened his eyes, hoping to see his dorm room, but was greeted only with the shadowed blue walls of the foreign bedroom, that he was growing far too accustomed to.

Harry growled in frustration, picked up his pillow, and launched it at the door. Was it so much to ask to go back to where he belonged? Was it? He didn’t think so but apparently, he was wrong. All he knew was that he sure as hell was not going to stay in this world if he could help it. He had launched another pillow at the door for good measure when he heard the voices in the hallway.

“What are we going to do?”

“I don’t know,” came the honest answer.

Harry slowly stood up from his bed and collected his pillows as he continued to listen to the worried tones outside his room.

“He knows now, I suppose there is nothing more we can do.”

Harry walked back over to his bed and laid down, ignoring his migraine and focused only on his parents voices. His mother sounded close to tears when she asked her next question.

“When did Dumbledore say he told him?”

There was silence, then, “Not too long ago. He made it sound as if it’d only been a month ago, but one can never know with that man.”

Harry had the feeling that all his mother could do at that point was nod her head. More silence followed his father’s revelation. The silence was unbearable do to the pain it held. The unasked why, which hovered over every unplayed beat between the two of them. The exact same fermata that had extended through the last six months of his own life.

Why him? Not that he would have wished this fate upon Neville, but why had it been him? It could not have only been because he was a half-blood. And if it was, why on earth would Voldemort base his choice upon that reason alone. But ultimately, “Why him?”

It always resorted back to that question and he knew it had done the same with his parents too.

Amidst the silence he heard his door click open and he quickly shut his eyes as the two adults entered his room. He could feel them hovering over his “sleeping” body. He could hear their soft breathing as they watched him. Then finally he felt his mother run her hand through his messy hair. She heaved a heavy sigh, as if she were holding back tears.

“It’s not as if we could keep it from him forever,” His father stated, almost as if he too were broken by this fact.

Harry felt the tender hand run once more through his hair, and this time he knew that she was crying. “Yes, but now any form of a normal teenage life has been snatched from him.” The hand crept gently through his hair again, “Now he knows that all of this is because of him. How is he going to deal with it?”

The question hung heavily in the air, thick with every syllable that had been uttered. Harry laid there, amongst the heavy silence, wishing that he could blow his eavesdropping cover and comfort his mother. Then the answer came.

“He is strong.”

Harry heard his parents turn their bodies toward the door.

His father sighed, “Yes, Sirius, he is, but what if that isn’t enough.”

Harry could feel Sirius’ dark eyes rest on the back of his neck. The man sighed deeply before he answered his best friend’s question. “He has done well enough since he has learned the truth,” he paused before he finished, “I have faith in the boy.”

Harry heard shuffling footsteps sound from where Sirius had been standing, followed by a door opening somewhere within the hall. He felt his mother’s comforting hand run through his hair once again as soft voices of forgiveness filtered through his wall from Reign’s room. He then heard his father leave the room shortly after the voices had started. Then, within the silence and muffled truths from the other room, his mother leaned into his cheek and kissed it softly. He kept his eyes shut as she leaned into his ear and whispered, “I love you.”

She then moved out of the room and shut the door behind her. When the door had shut behind his mother’s retreating back, he opened his eyes and rolled over onto his back. He felt a hot tear roll down his cheek, as he moved his hand up to touch the spot where his mother had left her kiss. The only kiss he would every have from her. And despite the bittersweet revelation this provided, he found that once would be enough. He then, with a few more tears, shut his eyes and prepared his swollen pain-filled brain for sleep.

Who would have thought that it’d
Come as such a show
A pink and silver day
Who was to know?
Even as we go
Sing us a song; Sing us a song
To hum through the hours of dying…

Chapter Eight: Stille Nacht

A fast intake of breath resounds through utter silence. A scream echoes in the distance, in reply to the sudden breath. Footsteps running purposefully in the hall. A door opens, more footsteps over carpet. Sounds of crying carry like whispers through the darkness. “Harry.” A hand touches his shoulder. His body shakes slightly from the unwanted pressure of the hand. More crying, “Harry.”

“Harry, please.”

Harry opened his eyes unable to focus on anything. He reached over to the end table and retrieved his glasses, placing them on his nose and ears. He then looked up to the person that had woken him. Reign. He stared at her, ready to scold her for waking him but then noticed her face.

Her cheeks were stained with tears, and her eyes were lit with nothing short of fear as they glanced just over his shoulder at something else. “We have to go.” Her voice was urgent and business-like showing no hint of the fear her eyes so easily betrayed her with.

At the urgent words Harry glanced around his room, seeing the blue walls dripped with a luminous green light. He felt his stomach sink abruptly before he followed Reign’s gaze to the window. He felt his eyes grow wide at the sight.

Though the mark was far off in the distance it glowed brightly so one could see every aspect of the skull with the snake protruding eerily from its mouth. Harry felt a shiver run down his spine as he gazed at the mark he’d seen only a few times before. Though now he knew what it meant and that it actually applied here, and was beginning to apply in his own home.

Someone, perhaps a whole family, was dead.

Before he could concentrate much longer on this thought his mother came into his room. “Harry, we have to go.”

Then Reign quickly grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hallway, down the spiral stairwell, and through the living room. She stopped in front of an oak door and opened it. There, there were only stairs leading to what Harry assumed was the basement.

He walked down the stairs into the dark room where he could vaguely make out the shapes of Sirius and his father sitting on the floor in a corner of the room.

The last bit of light flickered out behind him as his mother shut the door behind her. As she, too, walked down the stairs and situated herself next to her husband and their only friend, Harry felt a tug on his hand once again. He looked over at Reign and smiled as best as he could at her. She only nodded at the gesture and led him to the other side of the room. She then put her back against the cement wall and slid down until she was sitting on the floor. Harry followed suit as another shiver went down his spine as the feeling of the cold cement floor registered in his body.

He sat in silence looking over at his parents talking in murmurs, seeing only their outline in green like most of the distant memories he had of them so often were, and felt a tear trickle down his cheek. He could hear soft worried cries from Reign beside him as he thought of the World Cup game and how the old death eaters had been joking horribly by levitating those poor muggles and then how they had run away in fear at the sight of the dark mark.

But this was different than that incident. This was real, and someone was dead. Someone was dead and they were getting closer to Godric’s Hollow. Another shiver ran down his spine at the thought.

But they were safe. As long as Sirius kept their address to only the members of this small group, they would be safe.

“In theory yes.”

Harry jumped at the sound of the soft voice. He turned to Reign and merely stared at her. How did she do that? She smiled softly at him and continued, “Sirius will never give out the address to anyone. Even Pettigrew, who up until today was still his friend. Let’s just say Peter’s frustrated with that fact.”

She sighed slightly at the words before she continued, “And even if he did give him permission to come here, dear old Voldie couldn’t come in. So, yes, we’re safe.”

Harry’s brow furrowed at the news he had mostly heard before. As if understanding his thoughts she continued, “We hide down here, not because we have to, but because, I guess, in a way, it gives us an extra sense of security. That’s all.”

Harry nodded and glanced at his parents once more, who were still talking softly to one another. He noticed Sirius fidgeting at their side as he looked over at the small window above Harry and Reign’s head seeing only the light coming from the window and not the children that were sitting beneath it.

Harry watched the scene, as Sirius interjected statements between his parents conversation, finding that despite the situation outside their surroundings it was rather comforting being in the dark room with all of the family together. It seemed to send an “everything’s going to be okay” sign and Harry clung onto it, knowing that this too would become only a memory when he was sent back home.

The occupants of the basement slowly fell into silence. Harry continued to observe as Sirius glanced down at this watch. The man let out a soft laugh as the time registered in his head. “Happy Christmas,” he mumbled.

Harry’s brow contorted at the comment and glanced down at his own watch.

12:01. 12/25/05

“Happy Christmas,” he whispered back.

Sirius looked up from the floor across to Harry and smiled slightly. Harry knew that he was most likely brooding over the unfortunate-ness of spending Christmas morning like this. But as Harry looked around the room he didn’t much mind it. Unfortunate and morbid, yes, but he was with his family, one he now knew he wouldn’t have for much longer.

Silence stirred in the room as Harry thought. He wanted to go home. He wanted to spend his Christmas with Hermione and Ron. Yet, at the same time he also wanted to stay here with this incredibly unstable, yet somehow, stable family. He looked at his parents snuggling in the corner. How he would miss not seeing that. He wanted to keep it. Memories wouldn’t be enough.

Yes, there were still people at home. The Weasley’s, particularly Ron, and then there was Hermione, and Remus, Tonks, Mad-eye, and others surely would miss him also. Others that would fall if he didn’t get home and step up to the plate, so to say, and play out the final act of “savior.”

Was he ready for that?

He’d convinced himself up until that point that he was, but as he looked over at the green light touching those he had lost once, he wasn’t so sure. He glanced up at the window above him that was lined with the luminous green light. This was coming to his world. This fear and pain was coming, and no one but him could stop it.

He shut his eyes, before he reopened them and looked straight at his parents and then to Sirius, taking in every bit of it.

He had to let go, if not for himself then for his friends. So that everything would be all right, he’d have to move on. He closed his eyes once more and rested his head against the cement wall and willed himself to let go. For one cannot move on unless they let the past go, and now Harry knew this all too well.

He felt a small tear sneak out of his closed eyes as he thought: I’ll miss you.

He then felt a soft hand on his knee rest there in comfort, and despite the tears that wished to fall, he smiled sincerely as it softly patted the area. From the outer regions of his mind he could hear the soft voice of Sirius begin to sing in the darkness.

“Stille Nacht, heilige Nacht!
Alles schläft, einsam wacht
nur das traute hochheilige Paar.
Holder Knabe im lockigen Haar,
schlaf in himmlischer Ruh',
schlaf in himmlischer Ruh'.”

Shortly after he had begun Harry heard Reign join the chorus of the Christmas song being sung in its original format. Harry opened his eyes one last time, only to see Sirius sing the best song to sing, under the circumstances, and also his parents listening with their own eyes shut to the musical whims of the broken man Harry had loved.

Harry felt another tear escape from his eyes before he shut them for the night. Thinking only of the people he had met in this world and the ones he needed to get back to in his, as the soft duet filtered through his ears, willing him to sleep all the while letting his thoughts drift further and further away from his parents, Reign, and Sirius.

What if I fall
What if I don't
What if I never make it home
What if I bleed
What if I break
And I find that I can't take
the city below the citadel
Holding my own hand…

Chapter Nine: All But Want

“Stille Nacht, heilige Nacht!
Alles schläft, einsam wacht…”

Harry's eyes flitted open from his deep sleep. The vocals of both Sirius and Reign still played pleasantly within the caverns in his head. He smiled to himself at the faint sound that had been left behind, tempted to just reach his hand over and wake Reign, when he noticed that the floor his eyes had focused on was not cement but wood. Old wood that creaked slightly under the added weight of his body.

His eyes grew wide at the finding. He lifted his head up to see other aspects of this new room, only to find that it wasn't new at all. It was the room he'd started out in. The green Victorian wallpaper was the same, teared and frayed in the same places as before, the wood floor was still worn from the many feet that had crossed over it in the past. He half smiled to himself as he stood up only too hear the ancient floor release another grand groan. He then turned around in amazement at the familiar room only to see the mirror of Erised and the white drape that had been on the mirror before he had removed it from view and had discarded it onto the floor.

He stared at the mess he’d left behind, the words from the night before once more filtered back into his head. He kept gazing at the shapes that had settled into the white sheet before he gained the courage to glance directly at the mirror. His eyes slowly drifted to the bottom of the mirror seeing the robes he’d first laid eyes on. His eyes dragged over the body before they finally landed on the face of his godfather.

He felt a reluctant sigh fall from out of his mouth. Harry just stared at the image, engulfed in it, before a small smile tugged at his lips. As he gazed at the familiar face another picture caught his eye. He turned his head down slightly to look at the new image.

Within the mirror, and the illusion of Sirius, Harry caught a reflection of himself in the mirror. It was not vivid nor was it an attempt to be a real reflection. It was simply just him seeing himself as if the mirror was more a plane of glass that had caught the light in such away that he could see himself within it.

Yet still, he couldn’t seem to look away. To himself he seemed different. Stronger somehow. Even if he hadn’t, for once, faced something life threatening it had changed him. He had gotten a glimpse of the one thing he had wanted for as long as he could remember. And like any true person with a “hero complex,” as Hermione had so kindly put it months before, he had chosen to come back.

At least that was what he believed that was what he had done, and was in fact the reason he was back. He had seen now, first hand the horror that would have been left behind had his parents not sacrificed their life for me. The horror of everyday life, and he couldn’t just leave his world to that fate.

So perhaps Hermione was right about him. Perhaps she wasn’t. Time would be the only thing to tell, however much he still hated that phrase. He grinned at the image of himself within the much clearer version of his godfather, before he turned around to take a final look at the ancient room. He half smiled at the room as he thought that he'd rather not see it again, but merely shrugged his shoulders at the thought. If he did, he did, maybe then he could visit them again.

Harry shook his head at the very idea as his hand rested gently on the brass knob. No, that would be a bad thing. He was needed here with his friends, without those that he had lost. And he was perfectly fine with that epiphany. He would surely miss Sirius, and now the very real images of what he had missed out on with his parents, but he would survive.

"He is strong. I have faith in him."

The words Sirius had spoken in the other dimension (if that was indeed where he had been, for he still wasn't sure) filtered through his mind. He grinned slightly as he imagined the words coming out of Sirius' mouth once more, and knew instantly that the Sirius he had known in this world would surely have said the same.

Harry then took on final glance over his shoulder for one final look at Sirius only to find that the image had changed. Now reflected in the mirror was the image of the Weasley’s, Hermione, Remus, other members of the order and school, that over the years he had befriended and loved. All of which were still very much alive. He felt his heart ache a bit with the want of seeing them again.

So with a small smirk playing on his lips, Harry looked up at the cracked ceiling, as so many do at times like these, and smiled widely, absolutely positive that he would make Sirius proud in the end. He then looked back down from the general direction of heaven to the doorknob. He turned the ancient knob that released a mild squeak from the rust that was undoubtedly inside it, until there was a soft click. He opened the door, poked his head outside for a quick survey of what was behind it only to look out and see the familiar hallway of the castle, and smiled once more.

He was home. And now all he wanted was to get back to his family.