James

I wanted to cry. Just to let the hot tears pour down my face would have settled my broken heart. It felt like the world was crashing in on me and every part of me ached. When they say love hurts, they don't kid you.

All the idiotic things I'd said, and the stupid act of beating up Snape happened because I wanted to get Lily Evans' attention. Ever since first year I thought she was wonderful, but everytime I saw her I just fell completely apart and besides, she hates me. Well I can't really blame her, who would love a sick prat like me? When Sae came up and decked me for beating up her precious Snape she probably started laughing.

Beside me my younger (adopted) sister Alanna is heavily making out with Sirius. It's making me sick with jealousy and longing to kiss sweet Lily. The thought of her causes a single hot tear to roll down my face.

"James?"

I hastily wipe off my face on my robe sleeve and look up at Alanna.
"Are you ok?" she asks gently.

I clamp my eyes shut to stop crying and sputter:
"I-I'm fine. Really."

She gazes at me sympathetically but I ignore her and start walking through the grass back to school.

Lily

I saw him walking faster and faster down the empty hallway, his gorgeous black hair falling in his face. James Potter. The one guy I honestly care about and love to death, and I think I broke his heart.

As he comes closer his beautiful hazel eyes meet mine and butterflies are off in my stomach.

He stares at the floor and mutters:
"Sorry."

I bite my lip and try to think of something to say.
"James, I r-really didn't mean all that horrible stuff I said about you earlier." I blurt out.

"Lily," he says softly.

His sweet voice flows through my ears and I'm just savoring the sound of it when-
"WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU ANYWAY?"

"What?" I say, confused and shocked.

His face is bright red and he's glaring at the floor with tears in his eyes.
I've never seen James cry before, and it's effect on me isn't helping the situation.

"James-" I begin.

"AREN'T YOU SMART ENOUGH TO FIGURE OUT THE ONLY REASON I ACT LIKE SUCH A COMPLETE GIT IS BECAUSE I WANT YOUR ATTENTION?"

I step back from him cause I have no clue what to do.
" GOD LILY, I LOVE YOU OK?"

My heart starts pounding like a percussion section in my chest.
"You what?"

"I love you."

His voice comes out calmer than before, but now tears are running in rivers down his face.

"James," I say softly, moving closer to him so I can look at him.

He lifts his head up and looks at me embarassedly.
"Don't look at me like that." he says.

"What? Why?" I ask.

"Cause it makes me want to do something crazy." he whispers.

He's so close to me I can feel heat radiating off his body.
I bet he's warm.

WHO EVEN HAS THOUGHTS LIKE THIS?
"What something crazy?" My voice cracks when I ask him cause emotions are overflowing every part of my mind. I feel insane and the only thing I know for sure is that I'm wholly in love with the boy in front of me.

He doesn't reply in words, but soon I know what he meant when I feel his soft lips press against mine...

James

Warmth overflows my body like hot water as Lily's lips press back on mine-

Lips.

Press.

Back.

On.

Mine.

WHAT?!

Lily Evans, the beautiful Lily Evans who has haunted my dreams for four years, is kissing me.

In utter shock, I stop kissing her sweet lips and stare.

"Um..." Is the only thing I can manage to get out of my mouth.

Lily's face goes scarlet.

"I, I didn't mean to do-, I mean, I-"

She bites her lip and glances up at me nervously before turning around and sprinting.

"LILY!" I yell after her but she's already gone.

Lily

No, no, no.... I'm hurting James AGAIN! I don't understand myself. I'm in love with him but the only thing I can manage to do is hurt his feelings, AUGH!

Furiously I run my fingers through my red hair and keep running down the hall to get as far away from James as possible.

"Ow!" A boy exclaims.

I look up and see Sirius clutching his head after I ran into him. "God, watch where you're going Li-"

He freezes midsentence after getting a good look at me.

I didn't realize I'd been crying the whole time I'd been racing down the hall. Heck, I didn't even realize where I was going.

Sirius' mouth opens and he just stands there gaping at me. He's probably deciding which to do first: yell at me, or ask what's wrong.

"Lily, what happened?"

I really did not want to get into this.

"It's nothing."

Sirius rolls his bright blue eyes.

"What happened?"

"I just did something stupid ok? Just leave me alone."

He crosses his arms and stares at me with a look that clearly states I'm not going anywhere until he knows what's going on.

"James just kissed me, ok?" I mutter and try to walk off but as soon as he hears THAT he grabs the back of my robes.

"JAMES WHAT?!" he yells.

I put my face in my hands.

"So what did you DO?" he asks.

"I kissed him back." I say as quietly as possible but it comes out muffled in my hands.

"What?"

"I kissed him back." I repeat, taking my head out of my hands.

Sirius' eyes widen and he lets go of me. You couldn't have surprised him more if you had shoved a niffler down the back of his shirt.

"Um, this is going to sound kind of mean on my part, but WHY?" he asks.
I whip around and glare at him with tears still pouring down my face.

"CAUSE I LOVE HIM YOU IDIOT!" I shout.

Sirius goes dead silent.

"Look, Lily, I'm sorry..."

"Just don't tell him!" I beg.

Sirius looks at me with eyes full of pity.

"But why don't you just tell him?"

My lip trembles.

"I don't know."

Then I'm back off down the hall.

James

I am so confused. If you DON'T like someone, you DON'T kiss them, but Lily, who just yelled at me for beating up Snape, KISSED ME! I have no idea how she feels about me or what I'm suppost to do!

Tears of frustration run down my face and Sirius walks in.

"James?"

I look up at him.

"Man, what's up Prongs?"

Furiously, I wipe off the tears on my face and start pouring out everything that happened, how I got my heart broken by Lily, started crying, ran into her and everything that ran through my head while I was kissing her, and about her kissing ME.

Sirius smiles, which I don't appreciate.

I glare at him.

"What's so funny?" I ask viciously.

Sirius looks at me calmly, as if he's about to tell me I'm either being executed or won a million galleons.

"You know something," I say.

Sirius shrugs nervously.

"You could say that."

"Is it about Lily?" I ask.

He nods.

My heart starts pounding.

"Well?"

"She told me not to tell you," Sirius replies.

I feel anger boil up in my blood.

"SIRIUS! YOU HAVE TO TELL ME! YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND AND SHE'S THE FORCE THAT MAKES MY HEART BEAT!"

Sirius raises an eyebrow and rolls his eyes like I'm some kind of ignorant 4-year-old.

"You didn't let me finish." he says calmly.

Silence.

"She told me not to tell you she's in love with you."

*sorry im ending the chapter there* :)

James

The next morning I woke up dazed. Even after sleeping for hours Sirius' last words keep ringing through my head as if he'd said it seconds ago.

All my dreams had been full of Lily's dazzling green eyes looking at me and her soft voice running through my head.

Not that that didn't always happen.

Without bothering to wake up Sirius, I pull on my robes and start walking downstairs to breakfast.

The thing that sucks is I can't tell Lily what Sirius said, because it'd get Sirius killed.

I just walk downstairs into the common room when I notice somebody sitting in one of the armchairs.

"Hi!" I say cheerfully.

They turn around and my heart flips over when Lily looks back at me.


Lily

This is what I've been dreading. The next time I'd come face to face with James Potter.

He looks pretty surprised to see me, and who'd blame him? It's not everyday the girl you've liked forever finally gets a brain and kisses you. Not that he'd know why I did, which is making the situation a lot more awkward.

"Hi James." I say as calmly as possible with my heart pounding out of control.

His eyes dart from side to side, as if he's looking for Sirius to back him up, but no one's there. Then they settle on me.

"Um, Lily?" he asks.

I notice him blush slightly but otherwise he remains completely normal.

Inside my head I'm panicking. If he's not having some kind of reaction, maybe he's arleady over me! This can't be happening, I guess he can finally pay me back for tearing his emotions to pieces.

"Do you, um, want to go on a broom ride with me tonight?"

I blink.

"Wh-What?"

James blushes darker and tears his eyes off of me to stare at the floor.

"If you don't want to go, I mean, it's fine-"

"No I will!" I blurt out hastily.

Instantly he grins at me.

He looks like such a little kid when he smiles, the kind of smile when someone is so happy it makes everyone around them want to laugh.

I smile back at him, taking him in as if he's a glass of milk I'm drinking.

His eyes that usually shine with mischief have the sweetest look in them. I wish he'd do that more often.

"Thanks." he says, then walks out of the room and leaves me grinning like an idiot.


James

As soon as the door is closed I jump up and punch the air with my fist.

"YES!" I shout so loudly Professor McGonagall turns around and says:

"Potter, it's only seven. You don't need to start shouting this early."

I would love it DEARLY if I could go up to her and just yell that Lily loves me and start cracking up, but I must keep some control.

After breakfast, Sirius runs up to me.

"Prongs, where were you this morning?"

"I just woke up early." I reply.

Sirius raises his eyebrows but I just grin at him and walk to class without giving him the details.


Lily

After 5 years of endless classes, it's finally time for me to see James!

My nerves are on overload. I'm standing outside the castle waiting for him and I can't concentrate on anything but his picture in my mind.

"Lily?"

I jump and see James standing behind me with his broom tucked under his arm.

I smile shyly at him.

"So, um, where are we going?"

"Well there's no one on the grounds..." he says, running his hand through his hair.

"Ok." My voice comes out all squeaky because my stomach feels like I just ate snakes.

James sets his broom on the ground and it jumps back in the air so he can get on.

"Um..." he mutters.

I look at him expectantly.

"You may have to hold on to me so you don't fall off." he says very quickly then blushes scarlet.

"That's fine."

Talk about understatements. I should just tell him I love him now...

He gets on his broom looking heartily embarrassed by the whole thing.

Slowly I get on behind him and without hesitation wrap my arms around his waist.

I was right, he is warm.

James seems to relax and kicks off.

A rush of wind whips my hair back and I hold James tighter so I can keep my life for as long as this ride lasts.



James

As soon as I'm off the ground I feel completely free. Everything is going exactly right, the feeling from the air, riding my broom, Lily clutching me to her, it's heaven.

"Does it get any faster than this?" she pants from behind me.

"I could make it faster."

"Spare me." she gasps as I dive towards the ground.

I laugh and an evil idea strikes me.

I really shouldn't risk it, after all, she's never ridden a broom before this. But my Marauder's blood is telling me to do it, so without thinking I tip myself off the broom.

Lily screams bloody murder and tries to grab my hand but I just fall to the ground laughing.

"JAMES, YOU IDIOT I CAN'T CONTROL THIS THING!" she yells.

Terror shoots through me. She's speeding toward the ground way too fast and an instant later crashes.

"LILY!"

I sprint over to her.

Her face is buried in her hands and I can hear her crying.

WHY DID I HAVE TO MAKE HER CRY? MY LIFE IS CURSED!

"Lily, God, Lily I'm so sorry," I reach out to touch her but stop.

She'd probably kill me.

"James-" she sniffs.

"Yeah?" I ask, closing my eyes if she's about to hit me.

She looks up at me.

Grinning.

Then she jumps up and pins me to the ground.

"WOAH!"

She laughs and smiles at me. Apparently she knew what she was doing after all.

"That wasn't funny Lily! You scared me!"

"You deserved it!" she laughs.

I try to get up but she shoves me back onto the grass.

"Ok, you've got me. What are you going to do now, huh?"

She stops smiling and looks at me. Her beautiful eyes shine softly and she picks up my hand and drags me up into a sitting position.

"Kiss you." she whispers.

Then she leans in and for the second time warmth surrounds me in an inexplicable feeling.

After a while she lets go of me.

" So, Sirius didn't lie to me then." I blurt out without thinking.

Lily stares at me.

"He told you?"

"Um..."

I guess I'm still an idiot after all, no matter how good Lily's kisses make me feel.

Lily gazes into space for a minute, but then she shrugs and looks back at me.

" I love you." she says shyly.

My lower lip trembles like I'm going to start crying. I grab her by the shoulders and pull her into me.

"Jamef?" she says, her voice muffled from being shoved into me.

"Love you too Lils." I mutter into her ear.

We must have been like that for hours, wrapped up in each other, neither of us noticing the sky getting blacker.

"Shouldn't we go in?" Lily says.

"But I don't want you to go!" I whine like a little kid.

Lily laughs into my chest and stands up.

"Come on James," she says, taking my hand.

I close my eyes as we're walking upstairs, letting this fantasy sink in. It sucks when you want something so badly but you just can't seem to get it, but when you do, it's worth the pain.

END