Not your typical Friday by Hallie Black
Summary: One-shot. Sirius is the girl magnet we all love. But everyone has bad days. The rating is 3rd-5th yrs because of mild language and scenes of mild sexual nature (nothing happens!).
Categories: Humor Fics Characters: None
Warnings: None
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 1307 Read: 2051 Published: 05/18/05 Updated: 05/18/05

1. Not your typical Friday by Hallie Black

Not your typical Friday by Hallie Black
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing apart from Hayley Norton. All the rest belongs to JK. Just to make sure you knew.


Good morning. My name is Sirius Black and I am seventeen.

I am the single most wanted guy in the whole school.

I am the most handsome and most brilliant person Hogwarts has ever seen. Oh yeah, and I also happen to be very modest.

Okay, fine, so maybe humbleness isn’t my strong suit. Anyhow…

As I was saying, I am what you can call a girl magnet. The only person who can rival with my dashing good looks is my best buddy, James Potter, though I see him more of a close second.

Anyway. Now, back to my story.

See, this morning I was really happy. Why, you ask? Obviously because it’s a Friday.

You see, Friday is my favourite day of the week, because it means that the weekend is coming up. And I always spend Friday nights with a girl.

Usually a different girl every week, to be more exact. James teases me about it, but that’s only because he’s head over heels in love with one girl, Lily Evans, who just doesn’t give a damn about him (poor fellow still hasn’t figured it out…).

But honestly… why should I choose a girl when I can have them all? Each of them is special in her own way, each more gorgeous than the next… Honestly…

Tonight’s girl was going to be a pretty Ravenclaw seventh year, Hayley Norton. Boy, was she hot! Legs a mile long, sparkling green eyes, dark hair, and all the curves a guy could ask for…

However, on this eventful Friday, nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, went the way I wanted it to go. It all began when I woke up that morning…


Facing a mirror, I realized I had slept badly, and, not only were my eyes circled by dark bags, but my usually perfect black hair was sticking at every possible angle. Honestly, I looked like James!

“Hey, Prongs!” I hissed. “Prongs, wake up!”

A tall, skinny boy with raven hair and hazel eyes groggily sat up. “Whaddaya want, Padfoot?”

“What do you do when your hair just “ WON’T “ STAY “ PUT?” I asked, yelling the last three words as I tried (and failed) to comb it.

James stared at me as if I were mad. “Absolutely nothing, mate. Mine won’t ever lie flat, so I just ruffle it a bit more…”

“Whatever…” I shrugged. Ruffling it could only make things worse, so I spent over half an hour trying to redeem the situation and hiding the hideous bags under my eyes. I’m not that much a narcissist, really… But there were girls down at breakfast, I couldn’t risk looking like a complete idiot.

By five minutes to nine, all my efforts completely vain, I ran off to the great hall, and I wasn’t really in a very good mood. Things did not improve as I saw the food disappear from the plates, and realized I would be skipping breakfast today. Whatever, I said yet again that morning.

I quickly made my way to class. Transfiguration. Not my best subject (I was second to James), but I was definitely good at it (but then again, a student who could muster Animagi transformation in his third year couldn’t possibly be bad in transfiguration now, could he?).

I entered the room, late as always, but McGonagall isn’t usually that fussy.

“Mr. Black, you’re late. I think we’ll make it ten points from Gryffindor.”

I said usually.

“But, Professor! It’s never bothered you before, has it?” I asked, hopeful. Oh idiot, idiot me.

“It’s the 153rd time you’re late in my class since the beginning of this year. Do you think that’s normal?”

“Yeah.” I realized almost immediately I had, once again, said the wrong thing.

Professor McGonagall was clearly very annoyed. “Detention, Mr. Black.”

Whatever. I hastily sat down beside James and slouched on the chair.

“And do sit up strait, Mr. Black, unless you want to suffer scoliosis…” Most of the girls in class giggled. I tried to smile charmingly, but I was more than irritated.

My mood was definitely NOT improving.

Oh well. At least I’ll beat Prongs to who had had the more detentions. As I pointed this out to him, he grinned.

“Sorry to correct ya, Padfoot, but this is only your 256th detention. I’m already on number 261.” And he laughed openly.

I seriously considered hexing the shit out of my best friend, or simply give him a good kick up his ass, but I decided not to test McGonagall’s patience any further.




Things had not improved all afternoon, culminating with a terrible Herbology lesson in which the Mimbulus Mimbletonia I was supposed to be studying completely crazed out and began spraying poor, unaware students, thick, yellowish liquid also known as Stinksap.

Luckily, everyone, acting on pure reflex, ducked, missing the bacteriological weapon of mass destruction the ugly plant had set on us. Unfortunately, I was standing too close to it, and didn’t duck in time.

That’s how I found myself completely covered in stinking Stinksap, cursing like mad.

Sprout looked at me, aghast. “MR. BLACK! It’s only a bit of Stinksap! Here, I’ll vanish it for you.”




By dinnertime I was looking completely murderous. James and my fellow Marauders, Remus and Peter, must have sensed it, because conversation was practically absent as we ate.

Oh well. The day was almost over. Things couldn’t possibly get any worse, could they? And plus, the only thing left was the best part of the evening…

I grinned charmingly as I headed toward the Ravenclaw table, where Hayley stood up to greet me, smiling shyly.

I put my arm around her waist. “Hello, beautiful.”

She blushed. “Hey, Sirius…”

“C’mon, let’s go, I know of a perfect place for some more, uh, intimate conversation…” I said, leading her out of the Great Hall and towards the library.

Turned left, then right, then right again, till we found ourselves in front of a door. I thought hard about a room for a romantic night, passed in front of the door three times, and opened it.

Finally something was going my way. The Room of Requirement was simply perfect: candles, soft music in the background, and a huge bed in the center, with two heart-shaped pillows. I heard Hayley gasp at such a perfect sight.

As I turned to kiss her, I felt something fall on my head, and realized she had gasped at the sight of Peeves, the Poltergeist, and not the perfect place I had arranged for her. Peeves blew a raspberry and flew out of the room, leaving me to touch my head, my worst fears confirmed as I felt something slimy under my hand.

“It’s bobutuber pus, isn’t it?” I asked, fearing Hayley’s answer.

She giggled. “Um, yeah.”

Figures.

I was completely covered with it. I must have looked like a total idiot. I was already backing out of the room when Hayley grasped my arm and pressed her lips to mine.

“You look unbelievably sexy like that, you know?” she asked.

I grinned and deepened the kiss. No matter how bad a day is, some things luckily never change.



THE END


A/N: Okay, hope this fic doesn’t sound too stupid. I’m suffering from a severe writer’s block on my other fics and today, while I was at the gym, I got the idea for this fiction. It was fun to write, hope you had fun with it too. PLEASE REVIEW!
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