Summary: Sirius and Remus go to 12 Grimmauld Place to inspect it. But they soon find more trouble than they bargain for; as well as an attraction for each other!
Categories: Remus/Sirius Characters: None
Warnings: Slash
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 5
Completed: Yes
Word count: 6828
Read: 18013
Published: 11/14/04
Updated: 11/16/04
1. Dust and a portrait by Myka
2. Pictures and a flight of stairs by Myka
3. The 'L' word by Myka
4. Words and underwear by Myka
5. A white lie and an empty house by Myka
Dust and a portrait by Myka
~~~
“Run by me again exactly what are we suppose to do here?”
Sirius glanced at Remus, who was right beside him, as he raised his eyebrows slightly in response to the question. Then he glanced back towards the door in front of him. “We are to make the house is breathable,” he answered.
“Breathable?” Remus asked with a little bewilderment.
“Well,” Sirius replied calmly, “it’s been deserted for years. Just think how much dust and things a house can accumulate in ten years.”
Remus opened his mouth to give a reply but seemed to think better of it. “You have a point.”
The door opened with a loud creak as both Sirius and Remus entered, closing the door immediately behind them. It was dark.
“Lumos.” Sirius's wand flared with the command, filling the immediate area with light. Remus coughed.
“Sirius! I’m going to get sick with all this dust,” he said, covering his mouth and nose with his hand. Sirius only looked at him briefly before giving one swift swipe with his wand at the dusty air in front of him, making most of it disappear.
“Better,” Remus remarked with a slight grin.
They marched on carefully, wands at their sides, lighting every single lamp they came across. So far, so good. At the end of the hall there were two rooms and they decided to each take one to speed things up.
The room Remus entered was unusually dark, more so than any of the others they had seen before, and he was having trouble locating a lamp to light. He finally found one after a few minutes.
“Who are you?”
Remus turned at the voice, his wand ready, but he didn’t do anything. He stared, bewildered, at the life size portrait of a woman with black raven hair and a cold gaze.
“What are you doing in my house? Who are you?” she demanded more firmly.
“Remus Lupin.”
She huffed. “Your name doesn’t sound familiar, but only those with magic in their veins can find this house,” she finished in a cold tone, rendering Remus speechless.
“Remus? What are you doing? I thought I heard voices.”
Remus turned his head again to find Sirius standing petrified at the entrance of the room, a full frown on his face.
“Another one?” the woman asked irritated. “Get out of my house, both of you!” she ordered.
Sirius ignored her words as he stood in front of the portrait, grabbing one of its corners.
“What do you think you’re doing?!” The woman screamed. “Get out of my house!”
Sirius glared at her as he grabbed the portrait’s other corner. “This is my house now... mother.”
She shrieked the moment the words were spoken as she recognized who stood before her. “YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE... DEMON CHILD, TRAITOR...”
Sirius paid no attention to her cursing as he tried to pull the portrait from the wall. But to his huge disappointment, the damn thing just wouldn’t budge. Remus was instantly there to help him, grabbing spots on the portrait just beside Sirius and pulling with all his might.
“It’s not moving Sirius! It must have some kind of permanent sticking charm to it.”
“I noticed!” Sirius bellowed as he continued to try to pull the corners of the portrait out. He wanted this portrait out of the house, gone. He didn’t want to see his mother’s pale face or hear her stupid complaints ever again.
“Padfoot, watch out!”
Sirius had a brief second to look up after the warning, just long enough to see his mother’s claws extending beyond the painting and reaching toward him maliciously. But the claws never reached him as his body was pulled aside with force by Remus. Sirius managed not to lose his footing and quickly turned back toward the portrait of his screaming mother as he summoned a pair of curtains with one swing of his wand. She disappeared behind the curtains’ cover and instantly became quiet.
“I hate this house,” Sirius muttered under his breath, glad that his mother’s voice was no longer audible. “Thanks for the aid, Re -- Moony! You’re bleeding!”
Remus looked down at where Sirius was pointing to see his robes torn and soaked with blood. “She must have caught me when I pushed you,” he said calmly as he touched the wound. “Must be a scratch. It doesn’t even hurt.”
Sirius frowned at him as he snatched Remus's hand and dragged him forward with him. “Even if it’s just a scratch, we need to treat it,” he said with worry.
Remus felt the heat creep up his face at the contact, and even if he was a little embarrassed, he let himself be dragged by Sirius.
“Sit,” Sirius ordered in a protective tone as he pointed at one of the stools in the kitchen. Remus sat down without hesitating. Sirius pulled up the sleeve on Remus's robe, exposing the so-called ‘scratch’ and instantly frowned. “You didn’t need to do that, Moony. I can take care of myself.”
“It was just a reflex,” Remus tried to explain in his defense. “I couldn’t help it.”
“Hmph,” Sirius remarked. “Stop it. You’re making me blush.”
Remus looked up at the comment, unable to stop himself. He noticed Sirius's dark bangs as they fell over his eyes. He was indeed handsome.
“Well, it doesn’t look too bad, but I’m no healer, so I can’t really tell. The best I can do is bandage it.”
“That will be fine,” Remus answered quietly as he gazed once again at the floor.
After the wound was bandaged, they continued their inspection of the house, covering all the portraits they found with curtains as they went along. After an hour, they were finally done with the first floor.
“Be alert, Remus, some of the steps have accumulated grime, they could be slippery.” Remus nodded and watched his step more closely as he went up the stairs up to the second floor. He couldn’t stop gazing around at what a young Sirius had once called ‘home.’ He remembered the horror stories he used to hear about this house and his family and how much he wanted to be free of it. He had been so happy when James’s parents took him in.
“Sirius?” Remus called tentatively.
“What?”
“Do you remember when you left this house?” he asked calmly. “I remember. I remember asking you why you left. You told me I was part of the reason, but when I asked what you meant, you said that you weren’t ready to tell me then.” Remus stared at Sirius with determination on his face. “Could you tell me now?”
There was a moment of deep silence between them, and for a while Remus thought that his question would remain unanswered.
Sirius sighed. “One night I told my mom that I knew someone who was bitten by a werewolf and got turned into one. Back then I still had a little hope that there might be some sort of soft spot in her heart, but I was wrong. All she said was that I shouldn’t get near that person and that whoever it was should have been killed the second they were infected, that there was no place in the world for wizards like that.” Sirius noticed that Remus chose to stare down as he spoke, as if there were something immensely interesting on the floorboards. Sirius placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I left the house a week after that. Do you see now why I didn’t tell you before?”
Remus nodded slowly but couldn’t bring himself to speak or even look up. After so many years, those type of words still hurt.
“She was wrong, Moony, so wrong. How could someone not love you?”
Their eyes met and a warm comforting feeling washed over Remus as Sirius smiled at him.
“Thank you, Sirius,” he replied gently as a smiled formed on his own lips. Sirius responded by patting his shoulder affectionately then turning around and continuing his inspection of his former home. Remus stood alone for a second.
“I know you care for me, Sirius. And still, still I’m afraid that it’s not the same affection I feel for you... I think I’ve fallen for you.”
Pictures and a flight of stairs by Myka
~~~
“I’m in trouble, aren’t I?” Remus sighed miserably to himself. He was getting very confused. One second everything was fine, ‘normal.’ And in just one brief moment, one caring touch, it had all crumbled down, faster than a ton of bricks. Sirius was his oldest friend in the world. Their bond ran deeper than anything else, but that was what it had always been: friendship. Remus was indeed in deep trouble, because what he was feeling right now had the potential to destroy everything.
Now he just kept wishing that Sirius would kiss him.
“What am I thinking?” Remus wondered with a little bit of despair. “I must be going out of my mind.”
He had to do something. “Sirius?” he asked softly.
Sirius turned around almost instantly. “What’s wrong, Remus? Is it your arm, does it hurt?” he asked with concern.
Remus blushed fiercely. Sirius was worried about him; this was not helping the problem at all. “No,” he answered calmly as he tried not to look into Sirius's eyes. “My arm’s fine. I just thought that maybe we should take separate rooms again so we can finish more quickly.”
“Oh,” Sirius responded, sounding a little disappointed. “If that’s what you want.”
Remus nodded instantly; if he didn’t get away from Sirius right this instant he might do something he would regret later. “I think that would be best,” he said, controlling the tone of his voice.
“Fine, then,” Sirius said in a low tone. “You can take the rooms on this floor while I go check the attic.”
Remus walked into the room directly to his right as soon as Sirius spoke. He closed the door behind him and listened as Sirius's footsteps got farther away. He finally released the deep breath he had been holding, and his pulse started to calm itself down. He pulled his hair back with both hands, still not believing the thoughts that were going through his mind.
“I have to snap out of this!” He shook his head in a very wolfish manner, forcing all Sirius-related thoughts out of his mind and feeling instantly better. However, the movement made him wince.
He had lied to Sirius.
He had lied because his arm did hurt. It had been true that it hadn’t hurt just after he had gotten the wound, but the pain was excruciating now, even with his fast healing. Mrs. Black must have reached a vein, he thought. Remus tried to ignore the pain in his arm. He didn’t have time for this; he had a job to do.
The rooms on the second floor were all bedrooms. He followed the same procedure that he and Sirius had built up and soon found himself inside the room at the end of the hall. This one appeared to be the most neglected of all, and somehow Remus knew that this had been Sirius's bedroom many years before.
Dust covered everything, cobwebs laid in practically every single available corner, and the only furniture in the room consisted of a bed and a small desk with a chair. They resembled shadows of some long ago past in the dim light that came from the landing. Remus walked slowly toward the desk, forgetting to light the room itself and leaving it with just the light that came from the hall. There was something about that desk that caught his attention.
There were two drawers in the desk. Both were empty at first glance, but closer inspection revealed that one of the drawers appeared to have a smaller storage space than its twin. Remus tapped softly on the surface of the drawer with his wand, making the disillusionment charm on it disappear. Three pictures laid inside the hidden compartment.
The first was of Sirius himself when they were on their third year. He was smiling broadly as he stood under the comforting shade of a tree by the lake at Hogwarts. The young Sirius kept calling him forward with a motion of his hand as if wanting Remus to join him by his side.
The second picture included all of the Marauders. It had been taken shortly after James and the others had found out the reason he kept disappearing the nights of the full moon. He and James stood by each other with Sirius directly behind them and arm around both their shoulders, while Peter sat on the floor looking mildly distracted by something in front of him. The Sirius on the picture kept ruffling Remus's hair into disorder with a big grin on his face and laughing at the reaction it caused. A soft smile formed on Remus's lips as he remembered that day.
But the third and last picture stole that smile away, replacing it with confusion. He saw himself in the picture, just him, sitting on his bed as he read a book. His picture self would sometimes looked up to offer a smile, just to return afterwards to the depths of the book.
“What are you looking at, Moony?”
Remus jumped, startled, and instantly turned toward the doorway where Sirius stood with his arms crossed.
“I was just looking at some old pictures I found,” he answered swiftly as he recovered from the surprise.
“Pictures?” Sirius asked, a little bewildered, as he walked inside his old room, lighting it in the process. The pictures could be seen much more clearly now that there was sufficient light in the room. Sirius stopped right behind Remus and looked over his friend’s shoulder at the pictures on his hands. Remus glanced over his shoulder to look at Sirius and he noticed when Sirius's eyes widened in reaction to the pictures.
“I forgot I had hidden those there,” he exclaimed with some excitement. “Was I always that cheerful?” he asked.
Remus smiled as he returned his gaze to the pictures. “Actually, yes. It was when we were about to go home for the summer that you got mildly depressed.”
“Of course I got depressed, I had to spend the summer here. I hate it that Harry has to go through the same thing. If only Peter hadn’t gotten away...”
Remus frowned a little. “Don’t dwell too much on things you can’t fix, Sirius; they could become all you think about.” He kept starring at the pictures as he spoke the words, then suddenly he felt one of Sirius's hands on his shoulder, then the other against his forehead as his back was pressed against Sirius's chest. He gasped.
“You don’t have a fever, Moony. I don’t understand why you’re being so thoughtful all of a sudden,” Sirius said in a mild tone.
“I guess I’m just tired.” Remus replied leaning closer to Sirius. “I missed you, Sirius. We’ve hardly seen each other this past year.”
Sirius released Remus and turned him around gently in order to look at his eyes. “Are you sure that you’re all right?” he asked with more emphasis.
Remus's heart skipped a beat. “I’m fine, just a little dizzy.” Sirius opened his mouth to reply when a loud crash was heard downstairs. Both Sirius and Remus instantly turned towards the opened door, wands ready. Remus was the first at the top of the stairs with Sirius right behind him.
“Be careful, Remus.” Sirius whispered.
Remus nodded as he moved forward. He placed one foot on the first step, forgetting all about the grime Sirius had warned him about earlier. His foot slipped almost instantly and Remus found himself grabbing the closest thing he had for support. But that thing was the hem of Sirius's robes, and Remus had a brief second to stare at Sirius's shocked gaze before he pulled him down the stairs with him. The fall seemed eternally long, a combined mess of arms and legs along with a thunderous noise. Remus finally landed at the bottom of the stairs facing the ceiling, his arm screaming with pain. Sirius landed face down right on top of him and the brutality of it forced Remus to voice the pain he was feeling in an agonizing scream.
Warm hands were instantly on his face, soothing him, comforting him. “Are you okay, Moony? Did you hit your head?”
Remus heart completely stopped, and his arm suddenly didn’t hurt anymore. He could feel Sirius's breath against his skin, could see that their lips were only inches apart. He lost himself in the depth of those grey eyes, and before he realized what he was doing, he was leaning upward, closing the distance between them and placing a chaste kiss on Sirius's lips.
The contact was brief as Sirius immediately sat up in a flash. Remus opened his eyes, not exactly remembering when he had closed them. When he looked at Sirius's eyes, the first thing that crossed his mind wasn’t a fear of rejection or even disgust towards him but instead a worry that Sirius might not talk to him ever again after this. He sat up quickly, not letting go of Sirius's gaze.
“I... I’m sorry... I don’t know why I did that,” he muttered nervously. “It was stupid and thoughtless and I just... I...”
“Remus!” Sirius interrupted suddenly, placing both hands on Remus's face once again, successfully shutting him up. Remus's heart seemed to stop for the fifth time that day as grey eyes bore down on him.
“Shut up, Remus.”
And with those words, Sirius closed the distance between them once again, planting a hungry kiss on a Remus's warm lips.
A silent bliss started to overtake Remus at the touch of Sirius's hands on his face and Sirius’s lips on his own. Before he knew it he had wrapped his arms around Sirius's waist, forgetting all restraint and giving himself to the kiss, returning it.
Only one thought passed through his head.
“I could die tonight.”
~~~
Right at that moment, everything was perfect. Sirius's lips made everything else go away. Nothing else mattered for Remus: not the impending threat of Voldemort’s return, not the searing pain on his arm, and certainly not the noise that they had heard before.
But like all good things, this one too must come to an end.
The breaking of the kiss was mutual, and Remus kept his eyes closed, as if Sirius would disappear once he opened them.
“Remus... Why don’t you open your eyes? Was it wrong, what I did?”
Remus's eyes opened instantly. “No! Of course not! I just... I was afraid none of this would be real if I opened them, I guess, that maybe I’d find you gone.”
Sirius swiped Remus's bangs away from his face. “I’m not going anywhere, Remus,” he said affectionately. “Right now I’m staying right here with you,” he finished, causing heat to creep up into Remus's cheeks. They kissed again, and Remus dug his hands into Sirius's midnight hair, and Sirius returned the favor by pulling their bodies closer. After a long while they pulled apart again.
“I love you, Sirius. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember,” he admitted, full of heart. “I’ve just realized that.”
“You’re so cute, Remus,” Sirius said, placing both hands on Remus's neck, his thumbs on his cheeks. “I love you, too.”
Sirius leaned in to kiss him again, but Remus spoke before he had the chance. “How long?”
Sirius stopped in mid-motion. “How long what?”
“How long have you felt something for me?” Remus asked, determined to get an answer.
“You really want to know?” he asked in return, to which Remus nodded.
Sirius blinked, thinking the question was a little odd, but still understanding why Remus needed to know. “A little after our last year at Hogwarts, but I was more confused than anything back then. It was just a thought in the back of my mind. It all came back to me after I saw you again, when you hugged me back then...”
Remus frowned a little, not the reaction Sirius had expected or wanted. “Let me get this straight,” he said. “You’ve been lusting after me since you came back?” he asked with an added astonishment to his voice.
“Pretty much.”
Remus’s eyes widened. “And you didn’t say anything?”
That was the last thing Sirius expected to hear. “How could I?” he countered incredulously. “That certainly would have been a conversation to remember.” He spoke as he ruffled one of his hands through his hair. “‘Um, Moony, I know you’re probably not attracted to guys but will you please sleep with me?’”
Remus frowned again. “That’s not funny.”
“I’m sorry! But I’m about to jump on you if you don’t shut up.” Remus looked slightly confused, and Sirius solved the problem by holding his hand. “Look me in the eyes, Moony,” he ordered, and their eyes met. “I love you, I want you: that is the truth.”
A little corner inside Remus's brain still didn’t want to believe those words; it was telling him that it was all too good to be true. But staring into Sirius's eyes, he just knew that they were true.
“Really?”
Sirius smiled softly. “It’s always been you, Moony, just you.”
The gap between them closed once again as their lips met in a searing kiss. The happiness that flooded over Remus was indescribable.
Sirius lowered his hands slowly, from Remus’s neck down to his shoulder, then to his arms, the ultimate goal being his waist. Suddenly, when Sirius’s hand reached the wound just above his elbow, Remus broke the kiss, and his face was pained. Sirius looked at him instantly then frowned, taking wind of the situation.
“You told me it didn’t hurt, that it was nothing,” he accused, his voice worried. Remus was about to say something when Sirius took the sleeve of his robe and pulled it up to expose the wound his mother’s portrait had caused. The bandages were soaked red with Remus's blood, and some trickled down his arm.
“Moony...” Sirius managed to mutter, a slight panic to his voice, indicating the seriousness of the wound.
“She must have hit an artery; and I think the fall made it worse,” Remus finally confessed as the pain started to surge through him again.
“I’m taking you to the hospital right now!” Sirius exclaimed suddenly.
“You can’t! Someone might see you!”
“You think I care about that right now? It’s been more than an hour since you got that wound, Remus, and it’s still bleeding!” Sirius finished in a highly concerned voice. “I’m taking you, and that’s it.” Sirius didn’t allowed Remus to protest again as he stood quickly, dragging Remus with him and helping him walk towards the door. Remus clung to Sirius. It wasn’t really necessary; he was certain he could still walk on his own. But his arm was numb enough that he appreciated the help, especially when it got him this close to Sirius.
Sirius reached the door in a record pace and placed one hand on the doorknob, turning it.
It was locked.
“What the--”
Sirius tried his luck again at opening the door, but it was indeed locked, and it was not opening.
“What’s wrong, Sirius?” Remus asked when he saw the confusion in Sirius's face.
“Alohomora!” Sirius yelled as he swiped his wand at the doorknob. Nothing happened. “We’re locked in,” he announced in a sullen voice. “Someone sealed this door from the inside. We can’t get out.”
“Are you sure?”
“With this charm, only the one who sealed the door can open it. If I only had my knife...”
After some thought, Sirius led Remus down to a sofa in the living room. He removed the old bandages with care and replaced them with new ones. “Stay here. I’m going to search for whoever locked us in. Don’t you dare move,” he ordered as he left the room.
At first Remus had the urge to stand up and aid Sirius with the search, but the numbness of his arm had spread to his chest now. He knew he needed to save his energy. For him, this was just another small bump in the road ahead. After his wound was taken care of, all would be fine. But half an hour later, Remus still sat alone, trying hard to ignore the pain and the numbness he now felt all over his body. He had never been wounded this badly before. He had started to get dizzy a few minutes ago, and even though he knew that wasn’t a good sign, he still didn’t consider it grave enough to call Sirius's attention. After what had just happened between them, the last thing that Remus wanted to do was worry Sirius even more than he already was.
He had admitted that he loved his old friend and the feeling had been returned. As far as Remus knew, this was the happiest day of his life, because deep inside his heart, he knew that he had loved Sirius ever since they went to Hogwarts together; he had never stopped loving him. It had taken him more than fifteen years to sort out his feelings, but that didn’t matter now; now he had the future to look forward too.
Another wave of dizziness hit Remus with force, and with that wave came the urge to shut his eyes and fall asleep. A sense of foreboding filled him. He pulled up the sleeve of his robes once again to find the new bandages already soaked with blood. He panicked.
“Sirius!” he yelled as another wave of drowsiness hit him. “Padfoot! Si--”
Sirius appeared at the doorway almost immediately. “Moony?”
Remus turned frightened eyes to Sirius, who was starring at the blood-soaked bandages in horror. He was instantly at his side, holding him, giving him some sort of comfort.
“I’m sorry, Sirius.” Silent tears ran down Remus’s face. “I should have told you I was bleeding out before, but I thought my healing system could handle it.”
“Hush,” Sirius ordered, placing a hand over the wound to try to stop the bleeding. “Keep your strength, Moony. Right now I need you to stay awake for me.”
Remus took a deep breath as he forced his eyes open, but he had lost too much blood already. “I’m trying, Sirius, I really am, but it’s so hard.”
“Stay with me, Remus! I’m not losing you over something this stupid!” Sirius yelled.
“I-- I can’t. I’m sorry.” Remus took one deep gaze at Sirius's eyes and clutched at his robes until he simply couldn’t hold on anymore and the darkness completely swallowed him.
“Remus!” Sirius yelled desperately, his voice completely breaking. “Don’t you dare leave me, Moony!”
Words and underwear by Myka
~~~
“It’s dark. Why is everything so dark?”
“I love you, Moony.”
“Sirius? Is that you? Where are you? Why is it so dark?”
“Come back to me, Moony.”
A blurry sight appeared slowly as Remus opened his eyes once again; he saw a desk, and recognized it immediately as the one in Sirius's old room. The realized that he was resting comfortably on a bed, and as more of his senses returned to him, he noticed that he only had his underwear on, that the bedcovers were up to his waist and that a warm body laid beside him. He turned around slowly to find Sirius's grey eyes bearing down on him.
“How are you feeling?”
“Better,” Remus answered honestly, to which Sirius smiled fondly. Remus tried to frown at his next thought, but he just couldn’t with those grey eyes looking at him. “Why are we in a bed in just our underwear?” he asked, smiling with just the tiniest hint of sarcasm.
“Well,” Sirius replied, returning the smile, “I read in this book that a werewolf’s healing works best when in close physical contact with his pack.”
Remus finally frowned at this; the subject always seemed to cause such a reaction. “I don’t have a pack.”
“Pack: a group of animals of the same kind.” Sirius recited by heart. There was a pause. “In other words, me.”
“So, basically, you spent all the time I was out cold holding me?” Remus asked seriously.
“Yep,” Sirius replied with a smirk.
Remus smirked back. “Isn’t this going too far for a first date?” he asked.
Sirius let out a laugh. “You are feeling better if you’re pulling that kind of comments.”
Remus returned the smile. “So now that we’ve established that I’m better; where are my clothes?”
A mischievous smiled formed on Sirius's face. “Why? Don’t you like this?” he asked, pulling their bodies closer. Remus blushed deeply.
“I do,” he answered after a while, “but I also know that this is not the time for this. I still feel dizzy and most of my body is still pretty numb.”
The playfulness vanished from Sirius's voice completely. “It’s the blood loss. You still need to go to St. Mungo’s.”
“Did you unlock the door?”
“No. I’ve been here with you all the time.”
“So you still have no idea who or what else is in this house?” Remus asked, a little worried.
“Oh, no, I have an idea. I just don’t know how I could’ve forgotten about the little bastard.”
“Little?”
“My mother’s house elf,” Sirius answered in a spiteful tone.
Remus suppressed a laugh. “Are you going to go find it?” he asked, to which Sirius smiled again. “Later. Right now just let me hold you.”
Sirius embraced Remus with more feeling than he had previously shown, and Remus knew that it was meant to be comforting, loving, but instead he felt a cold rush up his spine at the touch. Instead of providing comfort, the embrace caused a slight fear in his heart; there was something desperate about it.
“Is something wrong, Sirius?”
Sirius broke the embrace to stare at him with slight surprise. “No, Moony, nothing’s wrong. Why would you ask that?”
“No, it’s nothing. I just had a bad feeling right now. Like -- like we won’t have this for long.”
Sirius kept an intense gaze toward the brunette, then swallowed hard. “You really scared me when you fainted. I really thought I might lose you.”
A soft smile played on Remus's face. “Just like you told me before, I’m not going anywhere,” he said in a deep tone. “Not as long as I can help it,” he added, emotion deepening his voice further.
Sirius scowled at him. “Maybe we should change the subject.”
Remus blinked. “But what if I die? Or what if you di--” Remus's words stopped instantly as his voice was hushed by Sirius's lips in a deep kiss. The kiss was broken after a short while, but Sirius kept their foreheads together.
“Let’s make a deal,” he said. “Let’s not kill ourselves worrying about what could happen tomorrow, or next week or in a year. Let’s have now, please. Just love me now.”
There was silence.
For a long while Sirius thought that what he had said was the wrong thing, mainly because Remus hadn’t shown the slightest response to his words. He had a point, they both had a point, but Sirius couldn’t live every day dreading when he might die or when Remus might die. What he had right that second, right then, it was priceless, and he wanted to live it without any apprehensions.
Remus passed his fingers through his black hair gently, causing Sirius to take a deep breath. “Deal,” he said with a loving smile as he kissed him softly. “Now can I put my clothes back on?”
~~~
After Remus had fallen asleep, Sirius went looking for the cause of the locked door and finally found Kreacher hiding in a very dark corner of his mother’s bedroom. It only took two minutes to force the decrepit house elf to remove the seal on the door. With the door finally unlocked, Sirius went to get Remus, who was still lying asleep on his old bed. Not wanting to wake him, Sirius picked him up as gently as he could, supporting his legs and back in a strong hold. Remus's head fell on his chest and Sirius let a warm feeling surge over him as he took his beloved out of Twelve Grimmauld Place.
A white lie and an empty house by Myka
~~~
Remus woke in a hospital bed on the first floor of St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. He stared at the ceiling as he tried to remember how the hell he had gotten there.
“You’re awake. Good.”
Remus turned his head to find a familiar face. “Hello, Molly. How are you?”
“Good,” she answered honestly. “You really can be dumb when you want to be,” she added in a scolding manner, to which Remus blinked in slight surprise. “That was very irresponsible of you, Remus, very unlike you. Instead of admitting you were in need of help, you allowed Sirius to risk being sighted in order to get you here.” She huffed as she finished, giving him a disapproving look.
Remus’s mouth fell open.
“Did Sirius tell you all this?”
“He certainly did,” Molly replied.
Remus opened his mouth to say something in return, somewhat along the lines of ‘there are two sides to every story,’ but he quickly thought it over and instead asked, “Was he worried?”
“He was.”
“Where is he now?”
“He’s back at his parents’ house, making some last-minute arrangements for tomorrow evening.”
“Tomorrow?”
“The Order’s first meeting.”
Remus sat up at the words without any help; his body felt fine and his bandaged arm barely hurt now. If Sirius was back at Twelve Grimmauld Place he wanted to help. “When can I leave?” he asked Molly.
She blinked softly at him. “Healer Perkins said you could leave as soon as you woke up.”
Remus smiled, and Molly smiled back kindly as he stood up from the bed and got ready to leave.
As they walked out, Molly mentioned that the Order’s members would be arriving a little after nightfall. She then offered Remus to stay at her house for the night, but he kindly refused, saying that he wanted to thank Sirius for aiding him as soon as possible and to help him with the house. They said their goodbyes, and Remus started on his way back to Grimmauld Place, thoughts of Sirius frequently popping into his head.
~~~
Sirius cursed for the fiftieth time in an hour as another shriveled doxy managed to scratch him, this time across the face; at least they hadn’t bitten him. His concentration just wasn’t on what he was supposed to be doing, mostly because he was thinking of Remus every ten seconds or so. The last thing he had heard was that Remus was going to be fine but that they still needed to check to see when he could leave. That meant Sirius was caught completely by surprise when someone knocked on the door.
Sirius couldn’t hide the shock in his voice. “Remus!”
Remus smiled. “Need any help?” he asked. Sirius couldn’t help but smile back as he reached forward and pulled Remus into a warm embrace. “How’s your arm?”
“It doesn’t hurt anymore.”
“Are you sure?”
Remus let out a soft laugh. “You worry too much.”
“Do I?” Sirius asked with a grin.
“Yes,” Remus replied quickly, grinning himself. He paused for a second, gazing deeply at Sirius's eyes. “Did you happen to lie and say the whole ordeal was my fault?”
Sirius’s eyes widened a bit. “Don’t tell me you’re angry because of that?”
“Not at all. Just annoyed.”
“And what could I do to make up for it?” Sirius asked.
Remus didn’t even hesitate. “Kiss me.”
Sirius didn’t reply, he didn’t comment. He just leaned forward and did what he was told.
~~~
“Tomorrow the house will be full of people,” Sirius commented as he picked his plate along with Remus's after finishing their dinner.
“What’s that suppose to mean?” Remus said with a bewildered look on his face as he followed Sirius's every movement with his eyes, keeping his position on a chair by the table.
Sirius sighed to himself as he stopped a few feet behind Remus and placed the dishes in the sink. “It means that after tonight we might not get a chance to be alone.”
Remus raised his eyebrows, quickly catching on to what was being said. “Alone?” Only one thing popped in his head that the two of them needed to be alone for. “Are you serious?” he almost yelled in surprise, turning his body around in the chair to look at Sirius.
Sirius burst out laughing, and Remus didn’t really know what to make of it.
Then the laughter stopped suddenly. Quick hands wrapped around Remus's back, trapping his arms. Remus could feel the altered beating of Sirius's heart as his face was pressed to the other’s chest. Fingertips grazed his chin, tilting his head upwards. They stared at each other, not speaking; it just wasn’t necessary. There was a kiss, then another and another.
Sirius retreated, parting their lips. Remus could feel the heat on his cheeks as they kept staring at each other.
“I’ll be in my old room.” Sirius said in a low tone. He leaned down then and whispered in Remus's ear. “I’ll be waiting for you, Moony.”
Remus blinked, taking a deep breath as his heart hammered fiercely against his chest. He turned his head swiftly toward Sirius, but he was already gone.
~~~
Remus was standing in front of Sirius's door without being able to move, just as he had for an hour.
He knew what would happen if he opened that door, and he wanted it. He loved Sirius so much it hurt. For all he knew, this could be their only chance to be together. So why was it so hard to turn the doorknob?
Remus took a deep breath, clearing his head of everything and grabbing the doorknob. The door didn’t even creak when he opened it. A soft scent overtook the air all around him, some sort of incense. Dozens of candles floated around the room, casting dim light around the room.
“Padfoot?”
A hand surfaced from the darkness, wrapping itself around Remus's wrist and pulling him in. There was a tumble, then a bed, then a kiss. A hand traveled down his chest and a soft moan escaped from his lips.
Too fast. “Wait. Sirius, wait!”
“What?” Sirius exclaimed as he forced himself to stop what he was doing. “What did you think I was going to do once you got up here, talk?”
“No,” Remus replied earnestly, “but at least give me a second to breathe.”
Sirius chuckled lightly, then he grinned. “Your second’s up.”
Remus had barely registered the words before Sirius latched his mouth to a spot on his neck and started suckling at it. Remus sighed to himself as his body reacted to the touch. He dug his hands into Sirius's hair pulling his mouth from his neck and kissing it fully.
Words weren’t necessary anymore.
~~~
The following morning both Sirius and Remus woke to the feeling of the other’s loving touch. It was the first time in a very long while that either hadn’t woken up alone. It was the best feeling in the world.
Remus was smiling. The smile just wouldn’t leave his face.
This moment, this instant, this love in his heart: no matter what, it would be a part of him forever.
~xxx~
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.