(Set in the Marauder's seventh year outside on the school grounds. There is a table with a lacy white tablecloth draped over it set up next to the lake. On top of the table sits a porcelain tea set with a flower print and a plate of steaming hot strawberry scones. One person sits in one of the five chairs surrounding the table and is constantly checking his watch. It is James Potter and he is wearing a long flowing gown made of lavender colored silk with a matching wide-brimmed hat on his head that sits slightly askew. He checks his watch a third time and after he does, he spots two people emerging from the front doors of Hogwarts. He becomes very excited and rises to greet his guests.)

James: (to the two people coming over) Good day, fine gentlemen! It is such a warming feeling to be in the presence of your shining faces! (His voice is very snooty with a slight lisp)

(The two people who had just joined James are Sirius and Peter. Sirius is wearing a stunning light blue dress and is carrying a matching umbrella. He has pearl earrings in his ears and his hair is put up in a tight bun. He also talks with an air of snootiness about him.)

Sirius: James! James! How wonderful it is to see you! I love your beautiful dress.

James: Oh this old thing. I practically dusted it off this morning. You however look marvelous! That dress brings out your eyes beautifully dear.

Sirius: (batting his eyelashes rapidly and blushing) You think so? You are too kind.

(A loud coughing noise brings them out of their conversation.)

Sirius: Ah yes. I almost forgot that darling, sweet Peter was with me.

(Peter was wearing a pink sundress that only just went past his knees and a tea cozy on his head. He blushed and giggled as his name was mentioned)

James: Of course, Peter! How could I possibly have forgotten you?! You look equally stunning in that breathtaking ensemble.

Peter: Why thank you James. (Looks down at the ground feeling ashamed) But, alas, I have only borrowed this from Remus. I have nothing of my own that is so beautiful.

James: Oh nonsense Peter. What about that beautiful sequined gown you had on last week to the ball?

Peter: (he is still staring at the ground) Borrowed it from Dumbledore.

(Both James and Sirius look at each other uncomfortably until Sirius broke the silence)

Sirius: Uh… where is that dear, kind Remus? I told him 12 o'clock sharp.

James: Arriving fashionably late I suppose.

(No sooner did he say the words did a figure emerge from the castle. It was Remus, and as he neared, they discovered that the reason that he was late was definitely for fashion. He was probably the best dressed yet. He had on a long shimmering turquoise gown that looked as if it had been dipped in a pool of diamonds. He had a wide-brimmed hat on that was at least twice as large as James'. He glided over with a grin stretched over his face and his gleaming white teeth where ten times whiter than Sirius' pearl earrings.)

Remus: Hello, my dear, dear friends. I hope I find you well.

(All of them are speechless at his stunning appearance. Suddenly, Peter rose from the table and threw himself at Remus' feet, kissing his sparkling high-heeled shoes.)

Peter: (in between kisses) Your beauty excites me Remus, old pal. I only wish I could share in your charm.

Remus: (bending down gingerly to pick up Peter) Nonsense, Peter. You are already a vision of loveliness. (Remus has a presence not unlike the queen)

Sirius: (hugging Remus) Remus, darling, you did not have to dress so decadently. I told you, dress lightly.

Remus: (waving his hand impatiently) Well I couldn't help it. I only received this dress yesterday from dear Severus for our 4th anniversary.

James: How splendid! Did he say he'd be joining us today as well?

Remus: Yes, he shall be here momentarily. (He lowers himself into a chair and helps himself to a steaming scone) You know he always likes to show off greatly.

James: Even more than him? (James whispered to Sirius with a wink and a giggle)

(Soon, yet another figure emerged from the great doors and with the few clouds in the sky parting in his wake, Snape descended upon the four of them like some kind of goddess. He was wearing a light green dress with lace rimmed around the neck and sleeves. He also had a matching purse and a matching green bonnet with a stuffed vulture on top which was illuminated by the ray of sunshine that seemed to be following him down the lawn.)

Snape: (announcing in a loud voice as he drew nearer) Good morrow, good morrow, gentlemen, and of course, lady. (He added as he looked down at Peter who blushed and winked) I hope that I am finding you all well on this blessed day and that my lateness hasn't caused too much anger and dismay.

Sirius: (Getting up and walking over to kiss his emerald ring covered hand) Oh think nothing of it Severus, your stunning beauty and never-ceasing wisdom make up for your much regretted tardiness.

James: (speaking to all) Please, now that we are all present may we partake in this delicious kaleidoscope of treats.

(They all sat down and started to dig in to the scones and lap up the tea, all the while maintaining their lady-like manners and charm. They were in the middle of having a chat about wearing white shoes after Labor Day when a strange humming noise met their ears.)

Remus: (Looking around with confusion all over his face) What is that horrid noise?

Sirius: It is probably Peter's stomach. It was rumbling all this morning.

Peter: (Lowers his ear to his stomach as much as possible) It's not my stomach. It's coming from over there. (He pointed to a nearby tree that was shaking profusely)

(As the tree branches were hanging over the top of their table, small bugs and leaves were falling into their teacups and onto their plates)

James: Oh drat! Our wonderful tea! Who is behind that tree acting like a monkey?

(The humming ceased immediately and was replaced by a voice)

Voice: Ooooooh! I am the great tree monster! If you know what is best for you, make haste and take your tea and run!

Peter: (Thinking that the tree was actually talking) No, evil tree! We were here first and you are spoiling our tea party!

Severus: (Looking at Peter with great annoyance) Peter, dear, the tree is not talking, there is someone concealed behind it.

(Peter looked very embarrassed and picked up Sirius' umbrella to hide his reddening face. Meanwhile, Sirius stood up and took out his wand that had been painted the same blue as his dress and had a puppy print on it. He aimed it at the tree and muttered a spell that caused the tree to rise into the air, roots and all, and come plopping down a few feet away. Standing behind the tree was Filch and he was wearing an outfit that greatly resembled a tree. He had died what remained of his hair a deep green and was also sporting a hat that contained green feathers that stuck out at odd angles. He was also wearing a long brown dress that was torn in several places and that smelled strongly of sap. He looked at the four of them with a rather large frown.)

Filch: Why did you do that? You were supposed to play along. I'm the scary tree monster!

(They all looked at him for several minutes apparently at a loss for words until Severus stood up)

Severus: Apparently some people do not have the common courtesy to allow others to have a pleasant party without interruption. (He looked over at the others again) Shall we retire to the veranda, darlings?

(They all get up and follow Severus back up to the castle, abandoning their tea and Filch who decided to stand on it and pretend that he was a very tall tree)

(As the five of them enter the castle, a line of people blocking the doorway suddenly stops them.)

Remus: I say, what in the world is all of this nonsense?

(But Remus soon got his answer. What appeared to be a small parade was coming down the hall. Girls and boys dressed in emerald green were prancing down the hall and throwing Rose petals as they went. Trumpets were sounding as they announced what appeared to be a king, or actually the better term would be queen. Lucius Malfoy was gliding down the hall waving delicately to his admirers who were oohing and aahing at every blink of his eye. He was wearing a silver dress that was sleeve-less and he was wearing a green necklace that bore a serpent charm. His long white-blonde hair was flowing radiantly behind him as he walked and he stopped right in front of James, Sirius, Remus, Snape, and Peter. For a brief moment they glared at each other and then Lucius spoke to Snape.)

Lucius: (Sounding even snootier than the others) Hello, Severus. I had a wonderful time with you yesterday. (At this Remus' mouth dropped open in shock and he glared at Snape who looked mildly uncomfortable) Taking me for a night on the town was just what the doctor ordered. (He winked at a blushing Snape and then turned to the others, his eyes narrowed dangerously as he spoke to them) Oh and ladies? We all know who the biggest queen is here.

(At his words Dumbledore descended out of nowhere into the crowd hanging from invisible ropes. The hall went silent as he spoke.)

Dumbledore: Now. That, Lucius, would be me.

The End