Disclaimer: The characters are J.K. Rowlings, and the idea was taken from various child star countdowns (mostly VH1's)

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Hello everyone out there in the wizarding world! I know we’re all excited today as I will be counting down the 10 most memorable famous child witches or wizards. Many of them were right at Hogwarts with myself when I was a young wizard. Who am I you ask...that’s exactly right, it’s your favorite Quiditch commentator, Lee Jordan here; and I’ll be your host tonight for the countdown. We’ll be answering many of your burning questions about your favorite famous child witch or wizard: “Where are they now? Just exactly what made them famous? How did they handle their fame?” answers here tonight on “I Was a Famous Child Witch or Wizard.”

All right…lets get our countdown started with number ten. You all know her as the dreamy or faraway one. Yes that’s right its little Luna Lovegood, although she’s not that little anymore. Luna graduated from Hogwarts 10 years ago. Let’s here from some of her classmates as they recall events that made her one of the top ten famous child witches or wizards.


Neville Longbottom: Well…she was always a little ‘out there’ for me. You know what I mean; any sane person isn’t going to go walking around Hogwarts with a roaring lion hat on. The girl was a little off.

Hermione Granger: Luna…well when I think of Luna the first thing that comes to mind is how obviously obsessed with my Ronald she was. I mean please, the girl was always making dreamy eyes at him, like she didn’t know I had claim on him. The nerve.

Gregory Goyle: Er…who are we talking about again?

Harry Potter: Well she did come in handy in my fifth year when we stormed the Department of Mysteries to rescue Sirius *tears up* I’m sorry you’ll have to excuse me…*sniffling* It still hurts to talk about it…

Ron Weasley: Loony…yeah well…she did help Harry through a rough time after the death of Sirius…*to Harry* are you still getting choked up over that man…jeez, get over it already…now what was I saying…oh yeah…Loony, she and Harry dated for a while at the first of our sixth year *shivers* weird transition period or something like that, just plane gross if you ask me *shivers again*


Well, where’s Luna today you ask. She’s living large as the editor of the Quibbler. She took over the job after her father was blasted to shreds for airing an article that told about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’s obsession with wearing pink lady’s underpants.


That brings us to number 9 on the count down. That’s right it’s Mr. Blaise Zabini. Although not that much is known about his ‘real’ life, he became famous because of all the interesting and often nasty tabloid articles and fan fictions written about him. The whereabouts of Blaise today are still unknown but he continually grows more famous by the day with each new article or fic that’s written about him. We have a tip that he’s living a cushy life after having a big pay off from suing a fan fic author for, well let’s say he was put in a position that just burned up all of his crumpets if you know what I’m saying. Of course this is only a rumor but hey, it could have happened.


Next on the countdown at number 8 is Hogwarts very own little gold digger Cho Chang. Yes, she’s one of those girls who made her rise to the top ridding the coat tails of her famous boy toys.


Harry Potter: Yeah so what, I dated her for a while…Gosh, I wish everyone would just leave me alone about that. Like I don’t have enough on my back already.

Michael Corner: Ah, Cho Chang…lovely memories of the girl. Yeah she was one of my transition girls after that little strumpet Ginny Weasley dumped me. *Ron rushes in and starts pounding on him until stagehands come and break it up* Did I say strumpet, I meant wonderful girl.*nursing a swollen lip* Brilliant. I didn’t deserve her; yeah that’s what I meant to say.

Ginny Weasley: *rolling eyes* yeah I remember her.

Luna Lovegood: The tomatoes on the vine are green.


Right *cough* well Cho is currently married to Percy Weasley. After his rise to fame in the Ministry of Magic she apparently clung to him since no other famous wizard would have anything to do with her. Apparently she tried to get out of the marriage a few years ago to move on to another famous wizard if possible, but Percy wasn’t dumb. He stuck her with a spell that forced her to stay with him. I won’t go into details here but it’s pretty ugly. For further details email me at…*Producers voice off to the side* “Jordan! Back to the countdown” *cough* sorry about that now where was I…


Oh yes…Ginny Weasley, number 7 on our countdown. Ginny was a feisty teen, most famous in her youth for helping her friends deal with troubling situations, being the best known user of the Bat Bogey Hex, and having a small run-in with being possessed by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Of course today she is famous for being the wife of The Boy Who Lived.


Albus Dumbledore: Ah yes, Ginevra Weasley Potter. Wonderful woman. She is the sole reason that Harry remained alive during the second war.

Harry Potter: My Ginny. My love chop. My woman. What is there to say other than well… ‘she completes me.’ *blows nose into hanky*


Uh, right. Ginny keeps Harry focused today, while raising their three children in their ‘small’ mansion in the country.


Before we get to number 6 on your countdown, we’re going to take a look at the top three famous child witch or wizard biggest flirts. First up is Lavender Brown. She was a giggly witch who managed to snag Irish boy Seamus Finnegan for the Yule Ball. Second is Pansy Parkinson, everyone’s favorite little Slytherin snipe. She sunk her claws into young Draco Malfoy and wouldn’t let go for anyone. And finally our top famous child witch or wizard flirt is Sirius Black. Before his hard time in Azkaban he was known to charm the ladies from all of the houses at Hogwarts. Tragically he met his doom in the DoM at the MoM.


And now back to the countdown and on to number 6, Fleur Delacour. This sassy French witch made her Hogwarts debut at the 1994-1995 Triwizard Tournament.


Ron Weasley: Fleur…*dreamy expression* Yup, she’s a piece of work alright. She was going to marry my brother but found out he was poor and dumped the poor bloke.

Hermione Granger: grrrrrrrr….

Roger Davies: I went to the Yule Ball with her back in '94'. Uh-huh, I was the lucky boy.

Draco Malfoy: She was a hot little number, although I do believe she was a bigger snob than me if that’s possible.


Today Fleur has gone back to France after adequately improving her English and serves as a foreign ambassador. It is rumored that they only send her to meet with male ambassadors from other countries. Apparently she uses her vela “powers” to talk them into whatever France wants.


Number 5 on the countdown brings us to Victor Krum. Everyone’s favorite seeker despite what team you pull for. This Bulgarian wizard also made his Hogwarts debut at the 1994-1995 Triwizard Tournament.


Lavender Brown: He is so cute.

Hermione Granger: I accompanied Victor to the Yule Ball in 1994. I had a very lovely time and used it to gain a better understanding of our foreign witch and wizard brothers and sisters.

Ronald Weasley: Vicky! Is he here! Don’t let him near my wife. The git, he just burns up my pumpkin pasties. Let me at him, where is he. Quidditch star indeed. He’s always been after one thing, and I’m not going to let him have her. *ears flashing bright red*

Draco Malfoy: Everyone knows I’m the better seeker. Krum, the amateur.

Random female: *runs screaming across the stage* Where is he! Oh my gosh, he’s sooooooo hottttt!


Hey wait can I get your number *realizes camera is back on him* woops, well…er…yes, the countdown. We’re half way there folks. Only three more witches or wizards to go before we reveal our number one famous child witch or wizard.


We’re now at number 4, Neville Longbottom. He is most famous for being that ‘other boy’ the prophecy could have been talking about.


Ron Weasley: Neville was always kind of a goof at school, but he was loyal to a fault.

Professor Sprout: Extremely bright boy when it came to Herbology. Not always the most balanced young man though.

Luna Lovegood: Longbottom…why isn’t it Shortbottom, or Roundbottom…why always Longbottom…


Right…Neville now works for the MoM, discovering and finding new magical properties of various plant types.


Well it’s time for another countdown break. We are now going to reveal the top three famous child witch or wizard siblings. First up we have Parvati and Padme Patil. These girls tried to charm young Harry and Ron at the Yule Ball in '94' that everyone keeps talking about but didn’t have any luck because both young men were pre-occupied with other ladies at the time. Our second set of siblings is Colin and Dennis Creevy. These two brothers are the founders of the official Harry Potter fan club despite Harry’s protests. Now last but definitely not least, my two best friends, Fred and George Weasley. These two pranksters turned businessmen without ending their term at Hogwarts. After terrorizing the fat froggy Umbridge, they blasted their way out into the wonderful world of Weasleys Wizarding Wheezes. For product info call 1-800-WEA-SLEY. *producer* “JORDAN!” Right sorry.


Finally, we’ve made it to the top three. Number three is Mr. Ronald Weasley. Not the brightest student of his year but made prefect and head boy for some reason...anyway...Best friend to Harry Potter and a huge asset in the aide of You-Know-Who’s destruction.


Harry Potter: Ron’s my best mate. He’s always been there for me. *tearing up* I don’t know what I would have done without him. *wailing uncontrollably*

Ginny Weasley: My big brother, the Chudley Cannons fan. You should see his room at our old house. Orange everywhere. Man, how it clashed with all of our hair. *giggling*

Hermione: Ronald…well…he finally got a clue after we were almost killed…*Harry’s still sobbing* oh get a grip Harry, that was years ago. He’s my favorite person on the planet.

Luna Lovegood: *singing dreamily* Weasley is our King…

Ron Weasley: Wait a second. I didn’t even get to be number two? I’m always number two. Never number one but always faithfully TWO. What’s the deal?!


Yeah, yeah…Today Ron and Hermione are married if you hadn’t already figured that one out. They have 8 children surpassing Molly and Arthur by one, to date. Ron helps out around his brother’s joke shop when he’s bored but doesn’t have to work due to the large payoff the MoM gave him for helping Harry end the second war.


That brings us to number 2, Hermione Jane Granger Weasley. She was everyone’s favorite little bookworm in school. If you didn’t know the answer, you know she was the witch to ask.


Ronald Weasley: She’s mine, all mine, you hear me. None of you other guys better get any, ideas. *Hermione intervenes* “Ronald I have eight children, I don’t think anyone wants me. Calm down” Oh, well…right…*cough* she got me through Hogwarts. If it wasn’t for her I would have flunked all of my classes.

Harry Potter: *almost has tears under control* She was a big help too. If she hadn’t found that one counter curse and forced us to learn it, we’d all be dead. *breaks down into sobs once more*

Draco Malfoy: She wouldn’t have been so bad had she been a pure blood. Now we all know who’s going to be the number one wizard.*shifty smirk*

Professor Snape: She was a right little nuisance in potions class, always helping Longbottom. I didn’t get to take nearly enough points away from Gryffindor for bum potions because of her.


Alright, simmer down now…Hermione somehow finds time now a days to not only take care of huge family but also is the leader of S.P.E.W. The house-elves finally decided they’d had enough after the second war ended, and Hermione was able to fulfill her lifelong dream ofliberating them and making S.P.E.W a world-wide foundation. There have been nearly a million liberated house-elves around the globe to this day.


Well everyone, we’ve finally reached the number one famous child witch or wizard. Your number one is Mr. Harry Potter himself! Was there ever any doubt. He is The Boy-Who-Lived twice…that’s right; he defeated He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named not one time, but two. He always stood up for his friends and saved the wizarding world as we know it. Today he’s sitting pretty in the country with his wife and kids. He only asks one thing, “If there’s ever another Dark witch or wizard about, call someone else,” his bad guy fighting days are over folks. But we’ll always love him and cherish him because he saved our lives. Thank you Harry.


Harry Potter: *Crying too forcefully to form words*

Draco Malfoy: WHAT! POTTER!!!! I WASN’T EVEN ON THE COUNTDOWN!! COME ON!!!! I’M MORE FAMOUSE THAN THEY’LL EVER BE!!!!! *continues shouting as he’s being dragged off stage*


Well folks that concludes this evenings countdown to the number one famous child witch or wizard. Thanks for watching, and until next time, don’t forget to wizard friendly!

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