"Harry! Ron! Come here, hurry up!"

Harry, who had been playing a game of chess with Ron in the common room looked up at Hermione who was standing just inside the portrait hole and very red in the face. For a moment he just stared at her, not wanting to leave his game because he was actually winning this time.

"Harry! Are you deaf, I told you to come here! Ron, you come too, this is gonna…" At that moment she passed out on the floor and started to snore rather loudly.

Now, everyone knew that Hermione had become narcoleptic ever since the fifth year ended. (For those who don't know what that is it's a very real medical condition that causes you to fall asleep suddenly at random times.) Anyway, all of that constant studying she had done finally became too much for her and she therefore became narcoleptic. Harry and Ron got up and walked over to the snoring Hermione, both of them rolling their eyes. They were getting very sick of having to wake her up every few minutes. Harry knelt down and tapped her shoulder and said in a very bored voice, "Hermione, wake up." She suddenly sat bolt upright and smacked into Ron causing him to fall to the floor with a loud CRASH.

"Ron!" yelled Harry who ran over to help him up. Hermione however hadn't noticed and had continued talking like nothing had happened.

"Ron, what are you doing on the floor? Come on, get up and both of you follow me!"
Harry got Ron to his feet and they both followed her out of the portrait hole, Ron cursing loudly as they went. Hermione was skipping down the hall and humming happily as Harry and Ron caught up to her.

"Hermione! Where are you taking us?" yelled Ron over her loud humming.

"You'll see, you'll see, it's just down these…" She had fallen asleep yet again but she had done so the exact moment she reached the stairs. Harry and Ron flinched as they saw her limp body roll down 12 stone steps. When she landed, however, she bounced up quickly and continued running. She had apparently revived herself by her very violent fall but she seemed to not remember it. Both of them were just glad that they didn't have to pick her up again.

After what had seemed like hours of running, Harry and Ron, who had followed the loud crashing noises, had caught up to Hermione. She had come to a stop right in front of the Slytherin common room where she was leaning against the wall snoring. Harry raised his eyebrows and walked over to Hermione tapping her as far away as possible just in case she violently woke up again. But she didn't this time.

Instead, she muttered loudly in her sleep, "2 plus 2 is 5!" She awoke suddenly to find Harry and Ron staring at her like she had 12 heads.

"Oh my gosh!" she said, her eyes tearing up. "I was having a horrible nightmare where I was being chased by a 20 foot tall Luna Lovegood and I was being forced to shout out wrong answers to keep her away!"
Harry and Ron only stared.
"Oh it was horrible!" she continued hysterically. "Everyone was watching me and calling me stupid and…"

"Hermione!!" Ron had finally yelled. "Are you going to tell us why we are standing outside the Slytherin common room or not?"

Hermione looked around slightly confused and then she yelled suddenly, "Oh yes! Come this way!" She was pointing at the door.

"You're taking us here?" Ron asked, eyebrows rose. "Are you mad?"

"Of course not Ron," she said, looking at him with a puzzled expression. "You know that my name is Hermione."

She walked over to the door and Ron began to slam his head into the wall repeatedly in annoyance.

"No, Ron, that's not how you get in, they have a password, stupid." Hermione said, exasperated.

Ron mouthed "Weirdo." to Harry behind Hermione's back as she called out the password. "Snape farted." The door swung open with a loud groan and they all wandered in.

"Uh, Hermione?" asked Harry. "Whom did you get the password from?"

But Hermione didn't answer. She had fallen asleep again and had fallen face first over a large armchair and her legs stuck straight into the air.

Harry sighed and looked around the dungeon. It was completely deserted. Ron shrugged at Harry and walked over to the upside down, snoring, and drooling Hermione with an evil grin spreading over his face and said, "Shall we wake her or just leave her for the Slytherins to find?"

Harry didn't get a chance to choose because Hermione had suddenly tumbled out of the chair and onto the floor with a loud thud. She stood up looking extremely disoriented and mumbled something about Dumbledore stealing her roast beef.

"Hermione? Do you need a doctor?" asked Ron, looking worried.

She stared at him for a few minutes and said, "No thanks, I've already eaten."

"Er … OK," said Ron, too tired and annoyed to question her further.

Hermione then turned and began banging on every few feet of bare wall in the room and pressing her ear to it as if listening for someone to knock back. By now, Harry's eyes had grown tired from the countless times he had widened them in shock. Hermione was acting incredibly strange; she was acting … well … stupid. Ron was apparently just as fed up as Harry because he kept making impatient noises next to him every time Hermione knocked on a different wall.

Finally, Hermione ceased her knocking and looked back around at them with a look of panic on her face.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" she exclaimed as she ran over to a very large closet. She opened it and disappeared into it for a second, then emerged holding what appeared to be three large, brown potato sacks and matching brown hats that had something written on them. She handed one of the potato sacks to each of them and said, "Since we aren't Slytherins, we're supposed to wear these if we want to get in."

She handed them the hats as well and they turned out to have the word "LOSER" stamped onto them in big brightly colored letters. Harry and Ron looked horrified and on the verge of laughter all at the same time.

"You want us to wear these?" asked Harry, dumbstruck. "You can't be serious ... "

Hermione rolled her eyes impatiently. "I never said that I was Sirius, you idiot, my name is Hermione! Her-my-oh-nee! Jeez, didn't I just tell Ron that? Now put those on and hurry up!"

Ron grabbed Harry just before he had a chance to strangle Hermione out of annoyance. Luckily she hadn't seen because she had been in the midst of pulling on her own potato sack and loser hat and had resumed her wall banging.

"C'mon," Ron said grumpily. "Let's just humor her and maybe she'll let us go."

Harry eventually agreed and they were soon dressed in what greatly resembled homeless wear. Hermione had been banging continuously when finally she knocked on a hollow sounding wall. A small wooden block in the middle of the wall slid open to reveal a pair of eyes. The pair of eyes surveyed Hermione for a while and then spoke. "Password?" came a low, booming voice.

At that moment Hermione had passed out and slouched against the door. Her cheek was pressed so hard against the wall that the whole wall vibrated when she snored and made a horrible machine gun noise. The voice upon hearing the snores spoke again. "Password denied!" it yelled, and the block closed with a snap.

Harry, looking frustrated, looked around where he stood and saw a high heel on the floor. Not even wanting to know why the high heel was there, he picked it up and chucked it at Hermione. She woke with a start and a loud grunt as her arm smacked into the wall to try to balance herself. As a result, the wooden block opened again and the eyes reappeared. "Passw … oh it's you again. What is it?!"
Hermione, regaining her composure shouted loudly, "Voldemort loves Harry!"

"What?!" Harry yelled as the box closed again and the wall swung open like a door. Ron laughed so hard that milk came shooting out of his nose.

"What the … " said Ron, wiping his nose.

"Come on!" yelled Hermione as she beckoned them into the dark corridor. They reluctantly walked into a dark hallway that seemed to lead to another door that was surrounded by light.

As soon as they walked inside, the voice that had spoken to them before gave a warning. "Beware!" called the voice. "For once you go in, you never leave the same!"

Harry and Ron exchanged looks of horror again and then squinted hard, trying to make out the owner of the voice.

The voice was quiet for a while and then it started to make ghostly noises.

"Ooooooh … Beeeewaaaaaaaare!!"

"Er … r...right," said Harry to the unknown voice. Hermione had kept walking and apparently decided to ignore the voice. Harry and Ron quickly followed her.

As they grew closer to the door, they could hear music growing louder and louder. It was dance music. They were now right up against the door and they were surrounded by darkness only broken by the crack of light under the door.

"Alright you two get ready to go crazy!" said Hermione clutching the doorknob, her voice full of anticipation.

"I think we've already gone crazy," whispered Harry to Ron, who was tugging at his loser suit as the door opened and they were bathed in a bright light.

The first thing that their eyes could make out after the initial burst of light was a stone staircase that led into a sea of brown. There were strobe lights flashing everywhere and disco balls that were enchanted to float around the room in no particular direction. The music was loud enough to make a person go deaf if he were exposed to it for too long. Hundreds of tables overflowed with treats and drinks of every sort, surrounding a gigantic square dance floor that had a large silver serpent painted on top of it. There was also a large table right in the middle of the dance floor on which at least 20 people were dancing. About one-third of the crowd that was currently dancing frantically in no particular style was wearing their regular black Hogwarts robes, though some of them had taken them off and were wearing them as scarves or capes. Harry figured that the people in black were the Slytherins, considering they didn't have to wear the loser suits. Harry turned to look over at Ron to see what his reaction was, but he wasn't anywhere to be found. He searched the crowd from where he stood, but it was like trying to find a needle in a haystack. He then looked over to Hermione to ask her if she had seen Ron but, of course, she had passed out, fallen down the stairs, and landed on one of the tables face-down in a punch bowl.

Harry walked down the stairs to remove Hermione's head from the bowl so that she wouldn't drown. She had been blowing bubbles in the punch with every snore. After he was sure that Hermione wouldn't suffocate, he began to search for Ron in the massive dancing crowd. As he moved through the crowd, occasionally dodging an arm or a leg, he spotted Cho Chang and Luna Lovegood, who were engaged in conversation.

"Hi Harry!" Luna called over the loud music when she spotted him. Both of them had loser suits on, only Luna had a badge on her chest that read V.I.P.

"How did you find out about this place?" she yelled.

"Huh … oh … I … er … just kinda got dragged into it."

He was more focused on Cho. Even though they had broken up, he still got that feeling in his stomach every time their eyes met. At that moment, Cho turned away from him and picked up a rather large bowl of chips and dumped it over Harry's head. She then ran away as fast as she could through the thick crowd laughing and yelling "Woohoo!!" over and over again.

Harry, who was very shocked by what had just happened, only stood there with the bowl still on his head. Luna, who had watched the whole thing and didn't think twice about it, removed the bowl from his head and continued with her conversation.

"So, where are Ron and Hermione?" she asked as she took a sip of some sort of steaming liquid.

"Uh, Hermione decided to take a nap," he said, still dusting chips off of his head. "I have no idea where Ron ran off to."

"He's probably around here somewhere. You'll find him sooner or later. In the meantime, have some snacks, dance around, have fun! You're in the craziest room in Hogwarts!" she said, looking at him as if this were the most natural situation in the world.

"Yeah, about that," Harry said. "What exactly is this place?"

Luna looked at him appraisingly. "What do you mean? Haven't you heard the story?"

"Story?" Harry asked, feeling that he would at last be getting to the bottom of something.

Luna opened her mouth to speak just as Harry felt something rub against his leg. "What the … Mr. Filch?" Harry looked down to see Filch on all fours rubbing against his leg and meowing like a cat. Harry backed off as Filch crawled toward him, his loser suit dragging on the floor as he went. "Stop following me!" Harry yelled and he zipped through the crowd and found his way to an empty corner. He was still looking for Ron when suddenly out of the writhing crowd ran Snape, who was wearing a loser hat on his head that was a good eight sizes too small. He had a potato sack, well a loser suit, in his hand and was twirling it around over his head like a helicopter.

He shouted, "I got one!" through the crowd, and took off again as the people in the crowd parted before him and laughed and cheered loudly. As soon as he disappeared, Colin Creevy ran through the crowd after Snape, wearing only camera-print boxers and his trusty camera around his neck. Snape had apparently stolen his clothes for fun, and as Harry had seen the same thing happen twice more in the next few minutes, he figured it was some sort of Slytherin game.

"Hiya Harry!" called Colin, holding up his camera and taking a picture. He seemed to have forgetten that he was partially naked because he had abandoned his chase and started toward Harry. Harry quickly dived through the crowd again to avoid interrogation and more photographs. He also didn't want to be seen with Colin while he was wearing only his boxers.

As he walked, he ran into Hermione, her head still soaking wet from her dive into the punch bowl.

"Harry! There you are! I was wondering what had happened to you." She looked positively red in the face with delight; or maybe it was just the punch.

"Hermione, this place is mad! Help me find Ron so we can get out of here!" Harry was yelling at the top of his lungs because the crowd had suddenly increased its volume.

Hermione's smile faded faster than hot breath on a cold night.

"Er … Harry, I don't think that Ron feels the same way as you do."

She pointed toward the large table that was centered on the dance floor. This was what Harry figured the people were cheering for. Several people were dancing on top of the table. There were eight in all, five of whom Harry didn't know at all -- but they were all wearing loser suits. Two other people up there were Fred and George Weasley. Both of them were wearing the same V.I.P. badge that Luna had been wearing, and they had enchanted a broomstick to float horizontally as they limboed underneath it. The last person -- dancing the most hysterically -- was, to Harry's horror, Ron. He had taken off his loser suit and was swinging it wildly around just as Snape had done.

Harry moved his way up toward him to try and get him down, but a line of losers doing the Congo cut him off. At this point, several people, if not the whole room, were cheering "Losers rule! Losers rule! Losers rule!"

Suddenly, Ron's voice ripped loudly throughout the room and over the roaring crowd.

"Chicken Dance!!!!" he screamed. There was a loud roar of approval before the music changed and every person in the room, losers and Slytherins alike, started doing the Chicken Dance.

That was the last straw for Harry. Horrorstruck by Ron's behavior, Harry rushed through the clucking crowd and onto the table. He dodged Fred and George who had attempted to bewitch him into dancing and pulled Ron back down into the crowd.

"C'mon!" Harry bellowed as they took off for the door. People were booing at Harry for stealing the life of the party and throwing food and, oddly enough, high heels, at him as he dragged Ron through the room. Ron was still dancing as the two of them ascended the stairs and exited the room just before a large cauldron was thrown in their direction.

After Ron was rescued from the secret room, he hadn't been the least bit sane. He was acting like Hermione had been acting, only dumber if that was even possible. Once he had stopped doing the chicken dance, he had seized a fruit bowl on a nearby table, placed it on his head, and started doing the Conga. Harry was yelling at the top of his lungs for him to stop but nothing was getting through; it was a lot like talking to a shoe, only a dancing shoe. Not long after Harry and Ron entered did Fred, George, and Hermione come in laughing and talking loudly. Fred and George spotted Ron doing his solitary Conga and they rushed to join in. Harry threw his arms up in frustration and plopped down on the couch. Suddenly, a loud farting noise ripped through the air as Fred, George, Ron, and even Hermione collapsed onto the ground and went into violent fits of laughter.

Harry jumped up rather quickly and pulled up the couch cushion but there was no Whoopee Cushion to be found. The four of them started to laugh louder as Harry searched for the source of the noise but was unsuccessful. "Maybe it was actually you, Harry," shouted Fred, who was very red in the face and still laughing hysterically. "You should probably lay off the beans and broccoli," shouted George, who was also doubled over with laughter. Ron was laughing so hard that milk was shooting out of his nose like a small geyser.

"Where is the milk coming from?!" Harry thought to himself as he continued his frantic search. "And where in the world is that whoopee cushion!!!???"

Judging by their ever-increasing laughter, Harry figured they could see it and he couldn't. He reached for the only other place it could be and felt it stuck to his behind. He tore it off and threw it onto the floor with a loud grunt and then he waited for another twenty minutes until the laughter was reduced to giggles and snickers.

He stormed over to Fred and George, who were fanning themselves off and wiping away the tears in their eyes.

"How … when did you do this?" Harry demanded, pointing to the deflated whoopee cushion.

"When you were leaving the room." Said Fred in between snickers.

"We put a sticking charm on it and then launched it at you," said George, unable to keep a straight face. "That's what you get for ruining the party, you git."

"Why are you even here?" Harry asked. "Didn't you two leave Hogwarts already?"

"Yeah," Fred said matter-of-factly. "But we always like to come back to have a good time."

Harry noticed the badges on their chests and remembered Luna's.

"Where did you get those badges," he said, "and what do they mean?"

Fred and George looked at him as if he had corn growing out of his ears.

"They're VIP badges, you twit. Can't you read? See look," Fred pointed to each letter as if he were a kindergarten teacher teaching him the alphabet. "V-I-P. Now say it with me … "

Fred looked at Harry expectantly. Harry just stood there, arms crossed and lips pressed tightly together. He was in no mood for games.

Seeing Harry's face George piped in. "Alright, alright, we'll tell you. Everybody gets one of these little babies (he shined it with his sleeve as he spoke) when they've been in the secret room over 200 times."

"Or if you're exceptionally crazy," Fred added with a mad glint in his eye.

"Crazy? What does that have to do with it?" Harry asked, his frustration growing.

Fred rolled his eyes. "Oh right, like you've never heard about it before. Just think, the famous Harry Potter not knowing about the greatest place at Hogwarts. What a laugh! Good one, Harry."

"I'm not joking!" Harry shouted.

"Yeah, right," said George. "We're going back to our store," he said as he and Fred walked over toward the portrait hole. "Keep working on your routine Harry, it's very funny." With that they disappeared through the door as the painting swung shut behind them.

Harry grunted and walked back over to the couch where Hermione and Ron sat. Ron was still humming the chicken dance song and Hermione was asleep, of course. Ignoring Hermione, Harry attempted to communicate with Ron.

"Ron? Hello?" Harry stared at him with concern. Ron was looking right at him but he really wasn't seeing him; he was off in another world. Harry was beginning to think that he had left his brain back in the room. His eyes were sort of glazed-over, a look he often got when he was trying hard to remember something.

Harry was waving his hands in front of Ron's face but there was still no response. He even clapped his hands several times but all he got was a half blink and a barely audible "Losers rule."

"Don't worry about him, he'll be okay by tomorrow." Hermione had woken up from Harry's claps and had lines on her face from where she had been leaning her head. She still smelled strongly of punch and her face still had a pinkish hue to it. Harry wasn't convinced judging by Ron's condition and Hermione's recent stupidity.

Giving up on Ron, he turned to Hermione.

"Will you please tell me exactly what that was?"

Hermione merely laughed. "I don't know exactly what it was, I only discovered it this morning. But I will tell you one thing: It was absolutely brilliant."

Harry frowned. Brilliant was probably the worst possible adjective to describe it.

"Well, I'm going to bed," Hermione said, rising and yawning. "You should probably help him along." She pointed to Ron, who was now drooling slightly.

She then skipped over towards the staircase and began to sing. "Voldemort and Harry, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-" *THUD!* She was halfway up the stairs when she fell asleep. Harry rolled his eyes and stood up, taking Ron by the arm as he went. He guided Ron, who was faintly singing the song Hermione had been singing, to the stairs and stepped over the unconscious Hermione as they went to the dorm. He pulled Ron all the way to his bed, where Harry left him so he could change. After Harry had changed, he walked over to Ron who was attempting to put his pants on his head.

When they were all settled, Harry helped Ron into his bed and then climbed into his own warm bed. Ron was still singing for a good ten minutes until he fell silent and then began to snore. Harry lay in his bed thinking for a long time after Ron had fallen asleep. "Why is everyone crazy? And why is it not affecting me?" He thought as his eyes drooped from exhaustion. Still very confused, he fell asleep shortly after he heard Hermione finally finish her ascent up the stairs and slam the girls' dorm door behind her.

"Class dismissed!"

The rumble of chairs and the sound of passing footsteps brought Harry out of his very deep and confused thoughts. They were currently in Transfiguration with the Hufflepuffs, and when Professor McGonagall called for them to leave, she sounded most displeased. Harry confirmed what he had been dreading from the start of class when he heard Professor McGonagall say, "Potter, Weasley, Granger, you will remain in your seats!" The tone of her voice suggested that she had very little patience.

Some of the students who were leaving, mostly the Gryffindors, were giggling at the trio, and basically all of the Hufflepuffs were scowling and giving all three of them looks of utter loathing.

It was the day after their discovery of the secret room and things were still very strange. Hermione had only been half-right in saying that Ron would be better in the morning. He was no longer singing and dancing non-stop, nor did he look as though he had lost his brain somewhere, but he was still acting stranger than what was normal for him. For most of the class, Ron would occasionally make farting noises behind McGonagall's back, only to silence himself when she turned around in an attempt to catch the culprit. He had been successful in keeping his innocence until he let out one particularly long and loud fart that caused Hermione to scream with laughter and send the rest of the Gryffindors, with the exception of Harry, into an appreciative round of applause. McGonagall had whipped around so fast that her glasses flew off and smacked Hannah Abbott hard in the face. This of course made Ron and Hermione -- along with every single Gryffindor in the classroom -- laugh hysterically. Even Harry couldn't suppress a grin this time.

McGonagall had retrieved her glasses, apologized to Hannah who was rubbing her bruised cheek, and then sent the hysterical Gryffindors one of her meanest looks to date. Everyone upon seeing her face had been silenced almost immediately, except for Ron, whom Harry had to smack on the back of the head to stop him.

When the class had cleared out, McGonagall put away the parrots that they had been transfiguring into … um … high heels and then walked over to the trio as her mouth curled into a frown. She stared at them with a disappointed face for a while before speaking, her eyes lingering the longest on Hermione, because she was supposed to be the model student.

"I hope you three realize that you are in serious trouble and that you will all be serving detention for the rest of the week!"

"But Professor," Harry shouted. "I wasn't doing … "

"Save it, Potter. I saw you smirking back there." Harry was looking scandalized by the injustice of it all. He was the only one that hadn't been laughing. This unfair punishment was something that Snape would have given.

"Now," said McGonagall in a voice of forced calm. "I want to know exactly what you three thought you were doing acting up in MY class!"

None of them answered right away. Ron sat there not paying any attention to McGonagall but was currently engaged in conversation with his own hand. Hermione was asleep on her desk, where her cheek rested in a pool of ink that she had spilled when she passed out. When she exhaled she blew spots of ink all over Harry's sleeve.

McGonagall let out a frustrated sigh and tapped Hermione on her shoulder.

"Miss Granger. Miss Granger will you please wake up and lis … "

"Who? What?" Hermione jumped out of her seat launching the inkbottle right at McGonagall, and it smacked her in her forehead.

Ron ceased his conversation with his hand to laugh as the large inkblot on her head ran down her nose and over her lips and chin.

"Mr. Weasley! Will you please stop laughing!?" she shouted, slamming her hand onto the desk and wiping her head with the other.

"I demand that one of you tell me why you are behaving like small children!" She looked positively furious now, no longer trying to appear calm.

"It was Malfoy's fault, Professor," Hermione suddenly said with a glassy-eyed expression. "If he hadn't put on that bunny suit, then we wouldn't have been doing the Electric Slide."

They all stared at her. Even Ron was looking at her with a puzzled expression. She however was acting like she had given the most logical explanation ever. After a painfully long silence and an awkward stare, McGonagall managed to say, "W … What?"

Harry decided to set things straight and tell the truth. The awkwardness was getting to him. "Listen Professor, we found this room, you see, and … well … everyone who goes in comes out kind of … crazy."

"And where exactly is this room, Potter?" She looked thoroughly unconvinced that he was telling the truth.

"Inside the Slytherin common room."

McGonagall put her hand over her mouth in shock and her eyes bulged slightly as she let out a muffled gasp. "Oh no." She said finally still wide-eyed. "It cannot be possible."

"What can't be possible, Professor?" Asked Harry, bewildered by her behavior. Hermione and Ron were staring at her as well.

She stood there silent for a while as if thinking something over very thoroughly.

"Are you absolutely sure of this?" she said, looking at Harry desperately.

"Um … " Harry pointed to Ron, who was now talking to his quill, and Hermione, who was petting it.

"OK, OK, I believe you, Potter. This is serious." She was silent for a few more minutes. "We have to see the headmaster. This isn't the first time this has happened. Come on, the three of you." She beckoned them out of the room and Harry had to move Hermione and Ron away from the quill, for they were both now taking turns kissing it.

Ron and Hermione left the room in front of Harry and behind McGonagall but they quickly passed her when they started to skip down the hall hand-in-hand humming the chicken dance song. McGonagall shot a worried glance at the two of them and then looked back at Harry.
"How long ago did you discover it?" she asked.

"Just yesterday. There must have been at least a hundred people in there. Do you know anything about this room?" Harry asked as he tried to keep up with her.

"Yes." She said this rather quickly and she didn't seem to want to talk about it. "You can ask the headmaster questions. He knows more about this than I do."

When Harry and McGonagall arrived at the Dumbledore's office door, they found Hermione asleep on the floor. Ron had removed her shoe and was now cradling it like a baby. McGonagall woke Hermione up and snatched her shoe from Ron. As the dazed Hermione put her shoe back on, McGonagall muttered the password.

"High heel."

As the door swung open and as he thought about the password, Harry was struck with a strange thought. Is that the reason Dumbledore is as crazy as he is? Luna, Fred and George as well?

They ascended the stairwell and entered his office, where he sat at his desk and looked up with a puzzled expression as they entered. Fawkes was perched behind his desk and was also staring at the four of them as they approached Dumbledore's desk.

"Is there a problem, Minerva?" he said in a misty, faraway voice.

"Yes, headmaster, we have a rather large problem on our hands. Mr. Potter has just informed me that he has recently been inside the Secret Room."

He looked at her over his half-moon spectacles and waited for her to say more.

"In the Slytherin common room," she said rather impatiently.

"Ah. That secret room." His initial reaction was very calm as opposed to McGonagall's. "This is bad news. That room is not meant for everyone, I'm afraid."

"As you can see from these two," she waved a finger at Hermione and Ron who were both silently staring at her shoe with wide eyes. "This is definitely a problem that must be cleared up immediately."

"Speaking of their odd behavior," Harry interrupted; he really wanted an explanation. "Why are they acting stupid and I'm not?"

Dumbledore surveyed Harry for a long time and then said, "It's quite a long story, Harry, are you sure you want to hear it?"

"Try me."

"Alright," sighed Dumbledore. "Sit down."

McGonagall let out another frustrated sigh and sat in one of the two chairs in front of Dumbledore's desk as Harry claimed the other. Hermione and Ron were off in their own world and were clearly not paying him any attention.

"It all starts with the four founders of the school. You know the whole story about Salazar Slytherin not wanting any half bloods or muggleborns in Hogwarts. Well, according to legend, before he left he created a room that could accommodate hundreds of people for parties, get togethers and so on. Now, the trick to this room was that he cast a spell upon it that caused all of the people who entered it to become, shall I say, nitwits."

Harry was listening intently; Dumbledore cleared his throat and continued.

"The spell however was meant to affect everyone except for the Slytherins. It was a very genius plan: Make all of the other houses become stupid so that they would fail out and not be permitted back to Hogwarts and therefore the only students that would be left would be the pureblooded Slytherins. So in the end he would get what he dreamed and none of the other founders would ever find out why or how it was happening."

"But, I saw Professor Snape acting like a … well … nitwit and he was in Slytherin." Harry had nearly one-hundred questions on his mind.

"Ah, but that's where the little story gets interesting," said Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling. "It is said that during the performance of the spell, he made a mistake causing it to go terribly wrong. He didn't realize his mistake until the next day after he had told the Slytherins about his plan. He noticed that the Slytherins were acting like nitwits as well. He went over it again the following day and realized that he had cast a spell that would affect everyone that was not a parselmouth instead of everyone who wasn't a Slytherin. That should answer your previous question, Harry."

Harry nodded, but he was still very confused. Dumbledore went on.

"Since this is a very, very rare gift, he realized that everybody at school would become idiots except for himself. What was even worse was that now all of the Slytherins, who were currently crazy, would start telling teachers about it and this would lead to suspicions."

"That was the real reason that Salazar Slytherin left the school," McGonagall had suddenly spoken up. She had been listening intently for the past half hour. "He was ashamed of his mistake and fled like a coward. Slytherin was never known for his bravery."

There was a long pause in which Harry took all of the information in and formed questions in his mind. Dumbledore was silently watching him.

"So that is how everyone around here who is crazy became crazy?" Harry asked.

"Yes," said Dumbledore matter-of-factly. "I've noticed that you're friends Luna, Fred, and George have worked very hard to get those VIP badges. I've been trying hard to receive one myself but I don't have as much free time."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing, Harry, nothing."

Harry heard McGonagall snort from beside him.

"Oh … um … well, if people have been entering it all this time, why are you just now getting upset about it?" Harry asked quizzically.

Dumbledore stared at him for the longest time and said, "Because Harry, there are other secrets that lay inside that room. Secrets that have to do with you."

"Like what?" Harry was dying for more information.

"Maybe later, Harry. Right now I need to go potty." Dumbledore stood up and walked into a separate room without so much as a backward glance. Harry and McGonagall exchanged silent glances of confusion.

"Ha!" Ron suddenly piped up. "He said potty." He and Hermione collapsed with laughter onto the floor.

As he left Dumbledore's office, followed closely by McGonagall, Ron, and Hermione, Harry felt that he had gained no useful information. He still had no idea how to return Ron, Hermione, and the rest of the school back to normal and now he had a new question on his mind. What does this secret room have to do with him? He would have found this out if it weren't for Dumbledore's random and unexpected potty break. They all waited for him to come back from the bathroom but after a good half an hour, it was clear that he wasn't coming back, or that he had fallen in the toilet. McGonagall had even brought up the fact that there was no bathroom inside his office and that the room he had entered had been his sleeping quarters. So either Dumbledore was currently defecating onto his own bed or he had given them the slip. Even though Harry didn't want to believe the latter of the two, he had never been in a situation where Dumbledore had intentionally abandoned him to avoid further interrogation.

If Harry hadn't been so deep in thought he would have noticed that Ron and Hermione had again skipped away from him and around a corner where a loud crash echoed through the halls. The crash seemed to bring him back to his senses and he looked around at McGonagall who also appeared to be deep in thought.

"Professor? What just happened back there?" Harry asked, rather timidly. She looked like she would attack if she were disturbed.

"I don't want to talk about it, Potter," she said rather quickly. "Just go gather your friends and head to the Great Hall for lunch." She was now walking rather briskly.

"But Professor, you saw what happened back there, that wasn't normal, not even for Dumbledore. And I know you know what happened with Slytherin or else you wouldn't have made that comment. I need some more answers. This is driving me mad!" Harry had stopped her by standing in front of her, blocking her path.

She surveyed him for a few seconds with her beady eyes. "Fine Potter, but not here. I do not want our conversation to be overheard." She looked very strained.

"Alright then, where should we talk?" They started to walk again.

"Meet me in my office after dinner and I will answer a few of your questions but I must warn you not to bring anyone with you or you will suffer the consequences. I don't want anyone else to find out about this room, do you understand me?"

Harry nodded. "What about Ron and Hermione? What happens if they tell people about it?"

"Just try to keep them from doing so, Potter. I trust you can handle your own friends," she said, very exasperated.

"That might be more difficult than you would imagine," said Harry as they rounded the corner and spotted Hermione and Ron. Hermione was on the floor asleep and Ron was accusing a nearby wall of throwing a sleeping draught at her. McGonagall rolled her eyes and quickly hurried over to Ron and pulled him away from the wall in which he was now punching and kicking.

"This is more…serious than I…thought," she yelled as she held the squirming and loudly cursing Ron away from the wall. "I need to send a few…owls out this afternoon. Just try to keep this a…secret as best you can, Potter and remember to…meet me after dinner." With that, she handed the jolting Ron over to Harry and hurried off down the hall toward her office, wildly fanning her face.

Harry managed to calm Ron down by saying that an evil spirit had possessed the wall and it wasn't thinking straight. It was the only thing that he would believe. Ron apologized to the wall and bowed to it as Harry picked Hermione up, revived her and continued on down the hall. As they reached the Great Hall, it was empty except for Dumbledore, who was sitting in his usual throne-like chair looking expectantly down at his plate. Harry walked Ron and Hermione to their seats and then he began to move toward Dumbledore. He really wanted to know why he claimed he had to use the restroom and had left him sitting there in his office. However as he approached the table, Dumbledore spotted him and did what Harry hadn't expected at all. Upon seeing Harry, he gasped, dived under the teacher's table, crawled on his hands and knees to the closest door, and disappeared behind it. Harry stood speechless, his mouth hanging open in shock. He was avoiding him. But why was he avoiding him? The bell rang just outside of the hall and footsteps and scraping chairs were heard above them; the students were headed for lunch.

Harry's face was burning with anger as he turned back to Hermione and Ron who were both on top of the table and doing what suspiciously looked like Riverdance. Harry ran towards them and hastily pulled them off of the table so as not to be seen. However, just as Harry pulled them both down, Ron broke free of his grip and jumped on top of the table again and screamed "Voldemort loves Harry!!!!"
The sound echoed through the otherwise silent hall and Harry was positive that the whole school had to have heard it. Harry jumped onto the table and began to chase Ron up and down, all the while knocking plates and goblets over in their wake and sending them crashing onto the floor. Harry kept quickly glancing at the door to check if people were there but luckily no one had appeared yet. Ron picked up a large vase filled with flowers and water and threw the contents into Harry's face and laughed madly as he danced just out of his grip. While Harry struggled to clear the water and flower petals out of his eyes, Ron found a flowered centerpiece that was three times bigger than he was, placed it atop his head, and started jumping violently up and down on the table causing everything on top of it to fall over and break. Finally Ron slipped on some water that was spilled from another flower vase and Harry caught him as he struggled to keep his balance. He had a tough time restraining him with only one arm as his other was wrapped tightly around his mouth to keep him from screaming "Voldemort loves Harry" over and over again. Hermione just sat there watching the two of them struggle; Harry felt the urge to give her a good kick and he would have done so if he hadn't known that she was currently out of her mind.
When he had finally pulled Ron onto the floor and then onto his seat, Harry wrenched his shoe off of his foot and shoved it into Ron's hand. (He remembered the look on his face when he had stolen Hermione's shoe outside of Dumbledore's office) Ron went instantly still and started stroking the shoe as if to calm it from all of the noise. Exhausted but relieved, Harry pulled out his wand and muttered "Reparo" as all of the broken dishes and cups flew back onto the table where they landed looking as perfect as they did before the three of them had entered the hall. As soon as the last cup repaired itself and slid back into place, the ocean of bustling students loudly filled the Great Hall, chattering about who knows what. Harry sat slightly out of breath, staring at his plate and hoping that he wasn't heard and that he didn't look too guilty. But the student's noisy entrance signaled that no one heard anything out of the ordinary. If they had heard something they probably would have thought it was just Peeves.

As the hall filled around him, Harry turned to Ron and tried to take his shoe back from him but his grip was strong and every time he would pull on it, Ron would start to scream. Harry ceased his attempt, happy that the hall was too noisy to hear Ron's screams. As his fellow Gryffindors took their seats, they stared at the trio as if they had twenty heads. Harry understood why they were looking at them like that: Harry was dripping wet with stems and flower petals in his hair, Ron was soothing and cradling Harry's shoe, and Hermione was still staring expressionless at the spot where Harry had finally captured Ron as if they were still there.

Seamus who was sitting across from them was the first one to speak up. "Harry. What's wrong with you three? First transfiguration, now this?"

"Er…long night of studying," his voice sounded unnaturally high. "Can you pass the scones?"

* * *

Lunch had been very…odd to say the least. Ron never touched his food, which is very strange for him, he did however start to sing to Harry's shoe and Harry was forced to let him do so because whenever he tried to take it away he would start to scream much louder. Hermione finally looked somewhere other than up in the air and had started eating but after a while she got up from the table and started asking people if they had seen her chicken. She finally stopped when she passed out and fell asleep onto a nearby Ravenclaw's lap who hastily pushed her down onto the floor out of embarrassment. After that little episode, everyone within earshot of the Gryffindor table was staring at them with raised eyebrows. Harry decided that it was time to leave; it was only another twenty minutes until the start of the next class.

As he dragged Ron and Hermione out of the hall and towards the common room, Harry's stomach did a back flip. He remembered what class they had next: Potions…wait it gets worse…with the Slytherins. He could only imagine what would happen if Snape saw Ron and Hermione acting like idiots, and to imagine what Malfoy would say if he saw them the way they were. But then he remembered that Snape had been in the secret room too, and he was acting completely insane. Maybe he would be too out of his own mind to notice. He felt slightly relieved but he still had Malfoy to worry about; he hadn't seen him in the secret room at all. As they entered the common room Harry let go of Ron and Hermione and plopped down in front of the fire. He knew that in a few more minutes, he would be laughed out of Snape's classroom because Hermione would be asleep and snoring and Ron would be recreating his famous chicken dance scene.

But then a wonderful idea hit him like a brick. He glanced over to Ron and Hermione who were acting like chickens and pecking at the ground for imaginary food and thought to his self, "I'll just sneak out without them. Sure they'll miss potions class but it's not like they'll absorb anything right now while their brains are functioning like they are made of Swiss cheese. Plus it'll save me some embarrassment."

With the plan in mind, he gathered his books, got up out of his chair and found a large tin of Fizzing Whizzbies. He walked over to Ron and Hermione who were taking turns jumping off a table attempting to fly with their hands tucked under their armpits and their elbows waving up and down frantically. He then put himself close enough to the portrait hole so that he could make a run for it and then threw the contents of the tin all over them. Just as Harry expected, they ceased their attempts at flight and scattered in all directions, pecking at all of the spilled Fizzing Whizzbies like it was birdseed. Harry then ran through the hole and didn't stop running until he reached the hallway leading to potions class.

He was feeling incredibly relieved until he rounded the last corner and spotted a group of Slytherins gathered around the door. They were speaking in hushed tones and of course as usual, Malfoy was in the middle of it all. As soon as Harry was within earshot of the crowd, they ceased their conversation immediately as if they were waiting for him. Crabbe and Goyle both tightened their fists with a sickening crunching noise as they spotted Harry, and Pansy Parkinson gave him a dirty look that made her appear twice as ugly.

The crowd parted and Malfoy stepped forward, his mouth was curling into an evil sneer.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't the famous Potter boy coming to ruin the party."

"What are you talking about Malfoy?" Harry asked looking straight into Malfoy's eyes.

"I know you found the room, Potter…and you better not tell on us like a little baby…or there will be serious consequences." He looked absolutely serious. He usually would smile when threatening Harry as if he found it highly amusing but he wasn't smiling this time; he looked positively murderous.

This, however, was far from frightening to Harry. He knew that he could beat Malfoy any day of the week, even if he was sick. "Well, Malfoy, it isn't really up to you who I talk to or what I talk about, now is it? You're probably just going to run home and tell your daddy all about it and he'll…oh wait, your daddy is in Azkaban."

It happened faster than a flash of lightning. Both Harry and Malfoy drew their wands and were in the midst of cursing each other when Snape appeared out of nowhere and stepped in between the two of them. Both curses hit him and he suddenly was sporting a pair of pink bunny ears and a matching pink tail.
Everyone except for Harry and Malfoy collapsed onto the floor, laughing hysterically. Harry had sent a curse that was meant to enlarge Malfoy's ears and Malfoy had sent a curse to turn Harry completely pink. The mixing of the spells caused Snape to grow a pink fuzzy tail and fuzzy ears. Snape looked absolutely horrified and no matter what he tried, he could not get them to disappear. Feeling embarrassed, he hurriedly hopped away down the hall and disappeared around the corner.

"You're lucky, Potter." Said Malfoy still looking deadly serious. "Next time I'll get you…alone."

With that he stormed down the hall followed closely by the other Slytherins who were still laughing very loudly. Harry waited until he couldn't hear their laughter anymore and ran quickly up to the common room. He breathlessly mumbled the password "Cabbage!" and scrambled inside to find Ron and Hermione curled up on the floor asleep atop of a pile of Fizzing Whizzbies and cradling a dozen feather quills each.

He plopped down on the same chair in front of the fire and tossed his books aside. He sat and thought about what had just happened, hoping that Snape wouldn't mention it to anyone out of embarrassment but also feeling incredibly happy that he caused Snape some humiliation. He laughed slightly to himself and felt very grateful that he now had some time to think about questions to ask McGonagall tonight.

Harry had spent most of the time between the incident before potions and his talk with McGonagall in the common room. He didn't dare go to dinner because he wanted to avoid another scene similar the one at lunch and he really didn't feel like running into Malfoy any time soon. For the most part, he sat in front of the fire pondering questions to ask McGonagall and at the same time, wondering whether or not Snape was back to normal again. Harry's experience with Snape was that he wouldn't ask for anyone's help unless there was absolutely no possible way for him to fix something on his own. Therefore, he knew that Snape would never intentionally show himself to anyone given the state that he was in, so Harry figured that he was safe for now. But in the back of his mind he thought that while Snape may be able to hide for a while, it would eventually become very hard to miss a very creepy tall man wearing all black and sporting a pair of fuzzy pink bunny ears and matching tail.

He sat and thought happily of the look on Snape's face for a long time before realizing that it was almost five thirty and that he should be getting ready for his visit to McGonagall's office. He remembered that she had told him not to bring anyone with him and he was of course going to obey her order. The only two people that Harry would ever bring along with him were currently under a fort that they had built out of quills and high heels and were occasionally pelting him with small rocks. Harry didn't even bother to wonder where they were getting this infinite pile of rocks but he was getting tired of them hitting him in the head every five minutes. Feeling agitated, he got up from his chair by the fire, pulled a dung bomb from his pocket and threw it inside the entrance to the fort. He then climbed the stairs to the dorm as he listened to the scrambling and dry heaving coming from underneath the fort and then eventually the fort's collapse. Smiling to himself, he shut the door behind him. He walked over to his trunk where he kept his wand and stashed it into his robes. He normally wouldn't take it just for a teacher visit but he had Malfoy to worry about and he didn't want to get caught without his wand if he were to ambush him from behind a suit of armour.

Feeling confident that he had plenty of questions to ask, he left the dorm and walked back down the stairs. As he reached the bottom, he saw that the remnants of the destroyed fort were gone and that Hermione and Ron were nowhere in sight. He looked around the room but no one appeared to be there. He still didn't feel satisfied that he was alone; the silence was too suspicious. Suddenly, Ron jumped out from behind an armchair and threw the same dungbomb that he had thrown at them right down the front of Harry's robes. Harry danced wildly for a good long time trying to free the dungbomb and all the while coughing and gagging. He finally managed to get the dungbomb out of his robes but by now it was too late, he already wreaked of old garbage.

"Ron! What is wrong with you?" Harry yelled between gags.

Ron laughed and started to sing. "Harry and the dungbomb sitting in a tree, R. E. E. K. I. N. G., first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Smelly in the baby carriage."

Ron continued to laugh and was then joined by Hermione who had come out of nowhere to laugh at Harry as well.

"That doesn't even make any sense!" yelled Harry angrily but the both of them continued to laugh harder.

"Yeah, Ron," Hermione said as she gasped for breath in between giggles. "Harry's right, that isn't how you spell wreaking."

Ron, still laughing, responded with, "Oh really, madam smarty pants? Then how is it spelled?"

She cleared her throat importantly. "It is spelled, W-R-E…"

THUD!

She had passed out onto the floor.

Ron shrugged and continued to sing his original song in Harry's face.

Filled with rage, Harry ran from the common room hoping to air out the smell as he went. Just before the portrait closed behind him he could hear Ron singing, "Harry smells like cabbage, Harry smells like cabbage…" over and over again in a taunting sort of way.

Ignoring the song, Harry ran toward McGonagall's office and on the way he tried a number of spells to get rid of the smell. None of the spells got rid of the smell completely but one of them covered it up nicely. However, the smell that replaced it was a very strong scent of lavender. "Great," he said to himself, "Now I smell like a girl."

He thought at least it was better than smelling like an unwashed toilet and he was no longer gagging and coughing.

After what seemed like forever, he reached McGonagall's office, regained his composure, and knocked on the door.

"Come in," her voiced sounded frustrated and angry. Harry cautiously opened the door and peeked inside to see her at her desk surrounded by piles of parchment and being bombarded by roughly 12 owls all scrambling to receive their pay.

"Pesky birds!" she yelled. "Be patient!!" The owls were clicking their beaks impatiently and nibbling on her ears and nose. Harry stood with his back to the door hoping with all of his might that he didn't get pooped on.

"Here, take your money and leave you obnoxious birds! Ouch stop biting me! Ouch! What was that for, you have your money! Don't you dare get droppings on that! Do not give me that look! Give me back that quill that is not yours! Stop smacking me with your wing, it's not my fault he stole your money! Drop that ink jar you beast! No not on my papers! ARRRRGGGGHHHHH!"

She had shot up out of her seat and seized a broom with which she began to smack the owls. The owls hooted indignantly and shot out the window leaving feathers all over her desk and droppings all over the room.

"Foul birds!" she yelled out the window and shook her broom at the retreating owls.

"Sit down, Potter!" she snapped as she had finally pried herself away from the window.

"Having trouble Professor?" Harry knew it was a stupid question but it was all he could think of after what he had just witnessed.

"Of course not," she said, rolling her eyes. "What would give you that idea? Listen, Potter, we have to make this quick because I'm swamped with work at the moment. The ministry keeps sending me urgent owls about the secret room. They all want to know the same thing. 'How long has it been open? What's being done about it? Who is responsible for it?' It is really getting annoying. And to top it off, the Headmaster refuses to talk about it and now we seem to be missing a teacher."

Harry's face went red. "Er…who's missing?" he said, trying to sound as innocent as possible.

"Professor Snape," she said. "I asked the Headmaster if he had sent him on another mission but all he said was 'Nizbit Hinklebob' and ran away. So we are now short a potions master and Professor Dumbledore is clinically insane."

There was a minute of awkward silence.

"Anyway, what have you come to…" she had stopped speaking and her nose twitched back and forth like a dog that had caught a scent. "Is that…lavender I smell?"

"Er…I don't smell anything." Harry said quickly, widening his nostrils in a mock sniff.

"Are you sure? Because it's quite strong."

"Nope, nothing. Can I ask some questions now?" he said very quickly to change the subject.

"Alright go ahead," she was still sniffing the air and craning her neck forward to find the source of the smell.

Harry knew that McGonagall would only tolerate a few questions so he decided to go straight for the most important one.

"I want to know what the secret room has to do with me?"

McGonagall looked puzzled. "Is that all?" she said. "I would have thought you'd have figured that out already."

Harry shook his head.

"Well, Potter since you are the only person at this school who can speak parseltongue then you are the only one who will not go crazy upon entrance to the room."

Harry already knew this fact and he raised his eyebrows expectantly.

"Once the room makes you insane you wont be smart enough to figure out how to close it. Because of this you are the only one who can seal it shut, forever," she said looking very grim.

"But, I saw a lot of people after they had been in that room and not all of them are the same. Some people were acting like complete idiots and others were rather … normal."

"Oh really?" she said. "Who was acting normal?"

Harry sat and thought for a moment.

"Fred and George Weasley," he said suddenly. "They told me they've been in that room hundreds of times and they still seem normal. Although, I hadn't met them until they were in their third year here but I've heard stories about them from Ron and they seemed as crazy as they are now."

McGonagall was silent for a minute as she sat and thought. "Now that you mention it I did hear things about the room affecting every individual differently. People who were already pretty…odd for example would probably stay the same. Then again, others who were perfect law-abiding citizens would most likely go insane. Of course some people are only affected while they are inside the room and are completely normal once they emerge. It also varies from person to person. That was merely another side effect of the initial spell going awry."

"So does that mean that other people who haven't been hugely affected by it can somehow close the room?" Harry asked as his hopes went up. He thought maybe he didn't have to be the one to do it after all.

"I'm afraid not, Potter. It is still crucial that the person to seal it must be a parselmouth."

Harry's hopes were punctured like a balloon.

"What about the person who opens it? Do they have to be a parselmouth?"

McGonagall sighed, "I only wish it were that way. No, anyone can open it. It's only a matter of stumbling across it. Although it is pretty well hidden, I've been told."

"So who opened it in the first place?"

Harry had two ideas of who it could be: Malfoy or Snape. The two people at the school who would take the most pleasure in seeing Harry so miserable. Of course he knew that Snape wouldn't be so irresponsible but it was fun to imagine him being removed from the school for such a thing.

"That is exactly what I have been trying to figure out," she said as she started to go through the piles of parchment on her desk again. "It seems to me that it would be the work of You-Know-Who considering that he can use you to start attacking people."

Her last words stunned him, "Attacking people? Me? What do you mean?"

She looked at him apologetically. "Don't you remember last year when he was using you to do things for him, to show him things? Well, since the room is opened and the people are slowly going crazy he can start attacking people through you. They won't be so hard to get rid of when they're too busy running through the halls screaming 'Nizbit Hinklebob'."

She rolled her eyes as she said those words.

Harry sat there completely stunned. He wanted to run away but he felt that he was glued to his chair.

"Because of this you have to do a couple of things," she said, avoiding his eyes for some reason. "First you'll need Occlumency lessons, that is if Professor Snape ever turns up. I think it's safe to say that you really didn't accomplish much in that subject last year."

Her voice was rather stern at that comment and Harry felt his face redden.

"Then you'll need to close the room on your own for good."

Harry couldn't believe his ears. He had to take Occlumency lessons with Snape again? He couldn't, it was impossible. Harry was half the reason why Snape was currently part bunny rabbit. He would murder him upon first sight.

"Then of course we'll need to find the person who opened it and put them in Azkaban, student or not. They will most likely be a Slytherin with a connection to a death eater no doubt."

Harry was angry at McGonagall's nonchalant attitude about his impossible tasks but he thought about Malfoy as soon as she had said, "connection with a death eater".

"Well Potter if you have no further questions," she started but at that very moment another round of owls swooped into the window and collided with her head.
"MINISTRY OWLS!" she screamed as the largest one, a huge brown owl landed on her head and started pecking her continuously. She jumped out of her seat and waved her arms rapidly at the circling owls.
"GET OUT OF MY OFFICE, YOU PESTS! JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON FUDGE! I'LL GIVE HIM A TASTE OF HIS OWN MEDICINE!"

McGonagall continued to shout out furious remarks at the owls and then ran over to a closet for the reason Harry assumed was to get a bigger broom. Harry took this opportunity to flee from her office and run like mad towards the common room.

He charged up the stairs, yelled the password and flew through the portrait hole. Harry was happy to find it empty and even happier to find Ron asleep in the dorm. He didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment. He climbed into bed without changing and closed his eyes hoping to fall asleep fast and wake up to find that it had all been a dream.