I do not know how to tell you this but I think I love you


A/N I own none of this (though I wish I did) Jo Rowling does. And no matter how much I dream my story is NOT going to make it in to a Harry Potter book

"JAMES POTTER! FOR THE TENTH TIME THIS MORNING! WAKE UP, " Mrs. Potter's shrill voice came up the stairs.

"I'm up, I'm awake," James said. His reply came from under a bundle of blankets. On the table next to his bed was a picture of four boys who had dubbed themselves "The Marauders". James was one of them.

A handsome and charming seventeen year old, James Potter was tall with jet black hair and warm hazel eyes. Lily Evans, the love of his life, was the opposite. She was fairly short with fiery red hair and large emerald eyes. James' best friends often made jokes that the only thing that burned more than Lily's hair was James' undying love and desire for her.

Ten minutes later James was downstairs eating his breakfast when his father lowered his newspaper. "James, I suggest you write to Sirius," he said.

"Why?" James questioned.

"His uncles have been involved in some Lord Voldy-thing attacks."


"Okay," James replied, shortly.

James picked up a quill and a piece of parchment and wrote a note to Sirius saying:
Padfoot,
Heard about your uncles and I'm coming to get you at 12 o'clock. I'll be in the fire place in the library. Make sure you're there.
Prongs.

He attached the note to the family owl's leg and went back upstairs. He sat down at his desk and took out of the drawer three things - a picture of the Marauders with Lily. He reminded himself that this picture was taken before Lily hated James. He also pulled out a quill and a roll of parchment.

As James looked at the picture he began to draw. He drew a square with a stag in the top left of it then in the top right a dog. At the bottom right was a rat and the bottom left, a wolf. In the centre was an elaborately drawn "L.E".

He tore this piece off and put it in his drawer. He picked up his quill again and began to write a letter to a fellow Marauder.

Dear Moony,
Hey mate! How are you after the full moon this month? Do you want to stay over at my house for the rest of the summer? Sirius is coming over today I'm going to get him at mid-day.
Did you hear what Sirius' uncles did to that Muggle School in Wales last week?
Well, write back and tell me what's happening.
See you soon (hopefully)
Prongs.

James rolled the letter up and waited for his owl Zeus to come back from hunting. Finally, Zeus showed up, pecking at the window to be let in, a little after 11 o'clock.

At around 12 o'clock, James went back downstairs.

"Mum, I'm going to get Sirius," he called before taking a leather pouch and putting it into his back pocket. Taking a handful of Floo powder he stepped into the fire place, scattered the dust and said, "Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place!"

James fell out of the fire and into an old library. A young man with dark brown hair was sitting on an old chair with his head in his hands. James looked at him.

"They did it again," James said. "Didn’t they?"

When his best friend looked up at him, James saw that Sirius had a black eye coming and he had a long gash down his cheek.

"Yeah, only it wasn't just Dad and Regulus this time."

"Who else was it?" James asked. When he had no answer for a few seconds, he talked again. "Sirius, answer me."

"It was my uncles, Corona and Canis."

"The ones who did the stuff in Wales?"

"Yeah."

"Come on," James said. "Let's go home." James took the leather pouch out of his pocket and held it out for Sirius to take some Floo Powder.
When he disappeared, James followed.

*

"James, is that you?" Mrs Potter asked.

"Yeah mum, it's me. And Sirius. Sirius is home."

"Mrs Potter, my love, come hither," Sirius joked.

Mrs Potter laughed as she walked into the hall where James and Sirius stood.

“Um James, some privacy so I can declare my love for your mother!”

"Mr Black, you're looking very peaky." She hadn't seen the gash down his cheek yet so she was very surprised when he turned around to look at her. "I suggest you come into the kitchen for me to look at that, will you?"

"Thanks Mrs Potter," Sirius replied.

"Sirius Draco Black, how many more times have I got to ask you to call me Marie?" she said.

He started to laugh.

"Oh James dear, Zeus returned with a letter a few minutes before you came home."

James untied the letter and absentmindedly started stroking Zeus's feathers.

"It's a letter from Remus," he said.
Dear Prongs and Padfoot if you're there,
I'm ok. I'd love to stay over at your place for the rest of the summer. I did hear what your uncles did, Padfoot, and I'm only glad that you have chosen our company instead of the likes of your cousins, Bellatrix and Narcissa.
If you want, I'll come by Floo powder. I'll be there at 3:30 tomorrow.
See you then.
Moony.

"Well that's great news, isn't it, James?" Mrs Potter said. "I can take you all to Diagon Alley a week before term starts."

"Yeah, okay," James replied.

"Hey Sirius, I haven't set up your bed," James said in a tone of voice that Sirius recognized as the ‘I want to talk about Lily’ tone.

James walked up the stairs and Sirius followed.

"What?" Sirius said.

"You know what," James replied, staring at the floor.

"So I should have said who instead."

James continued to stare at the floor.

"Prongs, mate, this is called an obsession. You have half the girls at Hogwarts throwing themselves at you and you waste your time on the one girl who just doesn't want to know."

"Very touching Padfoot, but you've said exactly what she is to me."

"What's that?"

"The one," James stood up and walked over to the window. "I'm going to write to her."

"Saying what? ‘Hi Lily, you think I'm a jerk but I still think you love me.' James, it's not going to happen."

"I didn't say she loved me."

"Then what did you say."

"I said I loved her, and I didn't say that either."

He walked into the library next door and sat at the desk. He picked up a quill and dipped it into the ink.
Dear Lily,
How has your summer been so far? Sirius is over my house and Remus is coming over tomorrow. My mum is taking us all to Diagon Alley a week before term starts back. If you want, you can meet up with us there.
Sirius sends his love and I expect Remus would too. What the heck, I'm feeling left out now. I send my love too.
Write back about Diagon Alley; let us know your plans.
Love you,
James
xxxxx

He showed Sirius the letter, "What do you think?"

"I don't think you're that subtle, mate."

"Do you think she’ll mind me saying ‘love you’ and giving her the kisses?"

"She probably wouldn’t mind so much if you had said the letter was off me or Remus."

"Basically any one who isn’t me?"

"Yeah that’s about right, mate."

At that moment, there was a tap on the window.

"Sirius, mate, can you get that?"

"Sure." Sirius walked over to the window and opened it. The owl that flew in through the window settled itself next to Sirius. He took the letter, but he did not recognize the writing so he opened it curiously.

It read:

To Sirius,
I do not know how to tell you this but I think I love you. Ever since our first year when you were sorted, all I could think about was you. I remember thinking how handsome you were. When I first lost myself in your light blue eyes, I remember never wanting to snap out of it. I remember thinking about ways for me to talk to you. I also remember James telling you that he loved me. I thought about James and you that night and then I thought about your family and realized that they would never accept a Mudblood into your family. After all, it would disgrace the noble name of Black, wouldn't it?
Any way, I've been thinking how to tell you this for awhile and I thought a letter would be the best way.
I will love you always.
Lily.

Sirius stared at the letter, unaware that his jaw had dropped open.

"Sirius, mate, um, what's wrong?" James said, as he turned around to look at Sirius.

"Nothing… Nothing. Nothing's wrong at all," Sirius replied.

"Then why is your jaw touching the floor?"

"No reason."

"Let me have a look at that letter then."

"No need, mate. Let's go downstairs shall we, and you can make us something to eat."


I know Lily may seem OOC but every thing will be explained in a later chapter

There it is! My first fanfic! PLEASE REVIEW!!!
PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE REVIEW!

‘I would like you to talk to James for me, and encourage him to keep trying with Lily’


Explanations


Sirius sat up in his bed. He was thinking about the letter and what would James think if he found it. “He'd probably think I led her on, being the attractive guy I am," he added to himself, with a smirk. He looked at the clock on the nightstand next to him. It said 03:54. "Man," Sirius thought. "I missed my midnight snack."

He clambered out of bed and walked down to James's room. After looking around the door and realizing that he was asleep, he snuck in and took a box from under his bed. It was all of James's love letters to Lily which he never actually managed to send.
Sirius picked up the top letter and opened it to read

Dearest Lily flower

I've been trying so hard to find a way to tell you how I feel without you hating me even more. I've tried a hundred different ways and this is the best I could think off. I love you; I mean I REALLY love you. And even now while I'm writing this, I realize how stupid it must sound. I couldn't think of a better way to put it, so here it is, my heart's on my sleeve, so to speak. Please write back even if it's to tell me to piss off.

Yours always with eternal love,

James

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sirius put down the letter and looked up at a snoring James. "James, mate, when will you ever learn?" He put the letter back and went back to his room. At the window, he saw a dot in the sky flying towards his window. The owl flew in and dropped a letter at Sirius's feet. Sirius picked up the letter and read it.

Sirius

I know you probably won't get this until the morning but I thought that if I sent it now there may be the slightest chance that you're awake and away from prying eyes. I would like you to talk to James for me, and encourage him to keep trying with Lily. She DOES like him, even though she may pretend not to. Please don't let James give up on her. She has always been hurt by her feelings before, that's why she doesn't show her feelings.

Please regard this letter as one of great importance.

Morag

Sirius looked at the letter, "Oh my god," he thought. "If this is what Morag says, then it has to be true. But why would Lily send me a letter like that if she didn't mean it? Urgh, I'll never understand women!"

*

"Mrs. Potter, it's wonderful to see you again!" Remus said.

"Remus Lupin, I am telling you what I told Mr. Black, call me Marie!"

"Ok then. Marie, it's wonderful to see you again."

"They are upstairs in Sirius's room," said Mrs. Potter, gesturing towards Sirius' room.

Remus thanked Mrs. Potter and went up to Sirius's room.

"He's totally refusing to talk to any one. He won't even come out for Honeydukes chocolate. There must be something wrong," James said, as Remus entered the room.

"I'll get him out," Remus offered.

"Sirius, go get the stick, go on boy! Go on! Go get it! There's a good boy! Atta boy!" He sounded like he was talking to a dog.

Sirius climbed out of the bed, put his dressing gown on and said, "Sorry, James I can't stay here anymore; not after the two letters I got in one day."

"Sirius, what are you talking about?" James asked. Sirius, however, just apparated away.

"I'll go after him. I'm allowed to apparate."

*

"Sirius Black! You had better tell me what is going on that itsy bitsy brain of yours NOW!"

"Remus, just look at these letters. The first one is from Lily confessing her love for me and the second is from Morag telling me to tell James not to lose hope in Lily because she really does like him, and that is way too much information for my itsy bitsy brain to take in a day."

"Wow," Remus said, surprised

"Yeah wow. Now I either have to tell James, my best friend, that the girl he loves likes his best friend so he loses all hope on her. Then she turns round and asks him why he's given up on her. When she finally decides to give him a chance, he kills me or I tell him that she fancies him when she doesn't and he kills me anyway."

Remus stared at him wide-eyed and grabbed the letter. "Let me see that!"

He looked at the letter and looked at Sirius. "This isn't Lily's writing!" he exclaimed.

"It has Lily's signature on it."

"That doesn't necessarily mean Lily wrote it. The writing does look familiar. I think I have seen it somewhere before."

"It would help if I knew where." Sirius quipped.

"The signature's loopy. Whose writing's loopy?"

"Malfoy's!"

Then in unison they both said, "NARCISSA!"

"Why in the world would Narcissa send a letter from Lily?"

"I dunno, but I think we'd better show James these letters."

Remus and Sirius apparated back to James's room with a loud CRACK. James fell off his bed and said "So Blacky-Boy, Are you gonna tell your best friend what's so bad that you can't stay in his house any longer?"

"Actually Jamesie-wamesie, I was going to show you, but you are not going to like it."

"Show me before I hex you. You are really pissing me off," James said, clearly irritated.

"Okay here's the letter I wouldn't let you look at," he said, passing James the letter from Lily. "And here's a letter I received last night."


"But we think that Narcissa wrote the letter from Lily," Remus added.

"So you thought I wouldn't talk to you because of this?" James said to Sirius.

"Well, yeah. I mean come on. The girl you love writes a letter to your best mate declaring her love for him, I'd be mad."

"You've forgotten something," James pointed out.

"What?"

"It's not her writing. God, Sirius you are so thick."

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A.N Feel free to reveiw. any con-crit is welcome.