Harry, Ron and Hermione quickly ran down the stone corridor and into the dungeons. "I can't believe it! We're going to be late ... again!" panted Hermione.

"Yeah, I think we know that already," said Ron.

"Don't get smart with me! The whole house is going to get mad at us if Snape deducts any more points!" The three finally arrived at potions class only to find a very pleased looking group of Slytherins.

"You're late," said Snape smiling broadly. "How many points should we make it today? Thirty? Forty? Fifty? What do you think?" he asked.

"Make it one hundred!" replied an extremely cruel Slytherin boy with blonde hair.

"Draco, let's not be too mean to our fellow students. Let's make it one hundred house points from Gryffindor! Now, will you please take your seats?" Hermione and Ron quickly sat down, but Harry remained standing. "Didn't you hear me, Potter? I said sit down." Harry still didn't sit.

"Harry, what do you think your doing!? You're going to get us all in big trouble!" Hermione whispered urgently.

"Mr. Potter, if you don't sit down this instant I will be forced to give you a detention, and you know how hard it would be for me to do that." Harry finally, though reluctantly, sat down. "Five more points from Gryffindor just for the hassle. Now, the ingredients are on the board. Today we are making a healing potion. It's due at the end of class so I suggest that you get to work."

The Gryffindor house left Snape's class looking very glum. They all doubted that they were ever going to get all those points back."We'd better get to transfiguration quick, or McGonagall will have a fit," said Ron. Harry nodded in agreement. Ron had seemed okay with the fact that Harry hadn't sat down right away but Hermione was completely ticked. "Why didn't you sit down when he told you to!? It would have saved us five points!" bellowed Hermione. "Wow! A whole five points!" said Harry sarcastically. The three of them arrived just in time for class and sat down next to each other, Ron between Harry and Hermione.

"Today, class, we are going to be practicing turning cups into teapots. The spell to do this is pottea (A/N: It's pronounced potty.). Ok, once you all have your cups, you may begin." The word pottea was repeated throughout the class as the students tried to turn their cups into teapots. So far one kid was having extreme trouble. His name: Neville Longbottom. He was now working on his third cup. His other two had turned into toilets. I wonder why.

"Pottea!" bellowed Neville as he once again tried to transform his cup, but this time he missed. Instead of hitting his target he hit a young boy.

The class quickly ran over to the young boy to see what happened, but what had happened was what would seem obvious. Neville had finally transfigured something into a teapot, and his name was Harry Potter. Suddenly, laughter exploded from the mouths of the students who had seen what happened, but Minerva McGonagall did not seem one bit amused.

"Well, I don't know what to do," she said, "I only learned how to turn things into teapots not how to change them back. Weasley, Granger, will you kindly escort your friend to the hospital wing?"

"Y-yeah sure," said Ron trying to keep from laughing himself. Hermione, on the other hand, didn't seem as willing. "Actually, I'm not sure I understand the spell. Do you think you could have someone else take Harry while you explain it to me?" A few people gasped. Hermione Granger not understand a spell? When she finished saying that, a huge pillar of steam burst out of Harry's spout and he started whistling.

"Don't worry. I can take him alone." Ron then picked up Harry and quickly walked out of the room. As he was carrying Harry to the hospital wing he couldn't help but be reminded of a song, a song that strongly resembled what Harry currently looked like.

***

Ron was still on his way to the hospital wing when he ran into the last person he wanted to see, Malfoy. "What's that you've got there, Weasel?"

"It's a teapot, Malfoy."

"I knew that. What are you going to do with it?"

"What's it to you?"

"Let me see it."

"Why should I?"

"Accio!" screamed Draco, and the teapot (A.K.A Harry) flew into his arms. "What would happen if I 'accidentally' dropped this?" he asked teasingly.

"You wouldn't!" but he had spoken too soon. At that very moment, there was a huge crash. Draco had dropped the teapot, and it had shattered. "Oh no! I hope he's not dead!" thought Ron.

"Whoops! It slipped." Draco said sarcastically. And he walked away. Ron quickly picked up all of the shattered pieces and ran to Madame Pomfrey.

When he got to the hospital wing, Madame Pomfrey said that she could put him back together but she needed all the pieces -- and that is where the trouble began. After she had restored him to his normal body, something was missing. His arm! Where was his arm!?

"What the hell did you do to me, Ron!?"

"Sorry! I met Draco along the way and, well, you slipped."

"Well you better find my arm! Or else!" And so the two boys went back to the scene of the crime and began to search for the missing piece.
------
(A/N: Please review! All the advice and compliments I get about my stories really help.)

(A/N: I would like to thank all of you who reviewed my last story. If you do read this story please e-mail me or review to let me know what you think.)
~*~
Short and Stout
Harry and Ron walked down the hallway trying to think of where the piece may have ended up. They had no idea how often the elves cleaned the school and didn't want to take any chances. When they arrived at the spot where Draco had "accidentally" dropped Harry, Ron quickly got on his hands and knees and got to work.

"Would it kill you to help?" asked Ron after a few minutes of searching.

"No, but if I get down on my knees I'd probably fall over. Since, you know, I only have one arm at the moment."

"Well it's not my fault!"

"Oh, that's right. I forgot! You weren't there."

"Just shut up." said Ron going red. "I tried to pick up all of the pieces."

Their search continued for hours. Ron was searching on his hands and knees while Harry walked around barefoot hoping to step on the missing piece. Hermione then walked over to them.

"I'm really sorry that I got mad at you guys earlier. Would you mind if I helped you and Harry look?" she asked.

"I s'pose not. We need as much help as we can get. How did you know where we were?"

"I went to the hospital wing to see if Harry was okay and Madame Pomfrey told me that you had come here to search for a missing piece."

"Okay...I'm pretty sure it shattered in this room and so-"

"Ow! Holy *beep*!"

Ron and Hermione quickly looked over in Harry's direction.

"Did you find it?" asked Hermione.

"No, I stepped on a tooth." said Harry sounding depressed. Forgetting about the pain in his foot, he walked over to the wall and sat down. "It's hopeless. We're never going to find it." he said as he examined the tooth.

"What the hell was that doing there?" asked Ron, "I've been looking for that tooth all week." he grabbed the tooth out of Harry's hand and quickly put it into his pocket. Harry and Hermione couldn't help but stare. Harry then stood up and was about to walk to the Gryffindor common room when-

"Ouch! The missing piece!" said Harry excitedly as he pulled something out of his rear end.

They all didn't have to think twice about what to do. The trio ran in the direction of the hospital wing, hoping that Harry's arm could be restored. They smashed through the door of the hospital wing and accidentally ran into Madame Pomfrey.

"Where's the fire?" she asked.

"No fire, just this!" said Harry as he showed her the little white piece that he had found.

"Oh my! You found the piece." she quickly grabbed it from Harry and examined it.

"So, can you fix his arm?" asked Ron looking hopeful.

"I'll have to turn him back into a teapot and reconnect it, but yes I can." she said. "I just need to know the spell used to turn him into a teapot."

"Th-the spell?" stuttered Ron.

"Yes dear, the spell."

Ron quickly looked at Hermione.

"Erm...wasn't it potty or peepee or something like that?" asked Hermione.

"N-no, I thought it was something like poe eat." said Ron.

"I dunno..."

"We should go ask McGonagall." interrupted Harry.

"Good idea!" said Ron, but Hermione couldn't have disagreed anymore.

"I'm sure there's a book of spells in the library we could use." said Hermione. Ron and Harry just glared at her. "Or, we could go ask Professor McGonagall." In my opinion, it would have been smarter to go to the library. This caused more trouble among the trio.

The three of them quickly ran out of the hospital wing and headed towards Professor McGonagalls office. "Oh no! Don't worry about fixing my door before you go!" they heard Madame Pomfrey call after them, but by then they had already arrived at the office. They opened the door to her office and found it empty.

"Damn, she's not here." said Ron.

"Well where would she be then?" asked Hermione.

"How do you expect us to know where the bloody teachers go after they're done teaching!?" screamed Harry.

The three of them stood there thinking. Suddenly, the door opened, and in came Neville Longbottom.

"What's going on in here?" he asked.

"Nothing Neville. Just go away." said Harry.

"Well it sure didn't sound like nothing." said Neville.

"Do you remember the spell Professor McGonagall taught us today?" asked Hermione sweetly.

"Wasn't it poopy or something like that?"

"No, I thought it was more like ploppy." said Harry.

"We know it started with a P." said Ron.

The four of them sat down in the room and brainstormed ideas. Each time the word becoming more less likely. Finally, Filch walked into the room and forced them to leave. It was eleven o'clock at night and they still hadn't figured out what the word was.

"Great. It's eleven o'clock at night and we still don't know what the word is," said Hermione.

"We could ask McGonagall tomorrow." suggested Ron.

They had finally arrived at the entrance to their common room.

"What a stupid idea." said Harry.

"That isn't a stupid idea. That's probably the smartest one he's had all night." said Hermione.

"No you idiot, that's the password." The portrait then swung open to let them in.

They stayed up and talked a little while longer. Harry was still armless and they couldn't figure out what the word was. At twelve o'clock they finally decided to go to bed, but at the same time there was a huge pop. Harry had turned back into a teapot. Neville started laughing uncontrollably while everyone else just stared. They carried Harry back to the hospital wing where he stayed the night.

*

Ron and Hermione were sitting in the Great Hall eating breakfast when they were soon joined by Fred and George Weasley.

"We heard about what happened to Harry." said Fred.

"So we decided to come over and give you our deepest sympathy." said George. They then burst into laughter. George laughing so hard that he had fallen on the floor and had tears running down his face.

"I'm a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout." sang Fred.

"When I get all steamed up, hear me shout." sang George

"Tip me over and pour me out." sang both Weasleys together.

"Oh shut up. He's probably his normal self by now." said Ron.

"We should probably go see how he's doing." said Hermione. And the two of them set off for the hospital wing for what they hoped was the last time.

*

The two of them arrived at the hospital wing and saw Harry was once again his normal self, but for how long? They didn't know. Something was still missing though.

"Erm...Harry? Where's your left ear?" asked Ron.

"I'm not really sure at the moment, but hey! I've still got another one!"

"Are you feeling okay?" Hermione asked a little worried.

"Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be? I've got two great friends and an extremely evil dude with the name Voldemort after me. What more could I want?"

Ron and Hermione jumped at the mention of his name. Madame Pomfrey walked into the room with a very glum expression on her face.

"I'm sorry dears, but I had to give him a potion that would keep his mind off his missing ear. I'm not sure if he's quite back to normal yet either. He could turn back into a teapot at any moment." she said.

"Let's go ask Dumbledore. He'll know what to do." said Hermione.

And for once, Ron couldn't argue. The spell didn't matter as much anymore, what mattered was finding Harry's ear and figuring out how to turn him back to normal. As the two walked out of the hospital wing they heard a girl shouting. They moved close enough so that they could understand what she was saying. She was screaming about an ear.

The two ran down the hall trying to get to the person who had screamed. They hoped that they could find the missing ear and get out of this hell hole that they had somehow fallen into. When they finally arrived at the spot, there was a huge crowd. Hermione and Ron quickly pushed through and saw the ear lying on the floor.

"Well, that was easy," said Ron.

"But it's not supposed to be that easy! This has to be rubber or some kind of trick!" complained Hermione.

She picked up the ear and found that it was, in fact, real. With a sigh she turned to head to the hospital wing. As she walked back with Ron at her side she could hear a couple of girls squealing, "Oh my God! She touched it! That's disgusting!" Others just nodded their heads in agreement as they watched the two walk away.

When they arrived at the hospital wing they were surprised to find Harry was still his normal self. They just stood there in silence for awhile. Ron was the first to speak.

"We found your ear, mate."

"Damn, I was beginning to like only having one ear. Well, if two heads are supposed to be better than one, then two ears must be the same," Harry said optimistically. Apparently the potion was still in full affect.

"I'll go find Madame Pomfrey," Hermione said and then walked away. Harry and Ron were now alone.

"May I see my ear please?"

"Yeah ... sure," said Ron. He handed the ear to Harry who immediately started to examine it.

"It's a very unique ear isn't it?" Harry asked. "It's very beautiful."

"Whatever you say, Harry. Whatever you say." Ron sat down on one of the hospital beds and waited for Hermione to return. He sat there and eventually he began to daydream.

"Oooh! What's this potion? Wow! I wonder if I'm the only kid in the school with twenty ... no wait! Twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five. Twenty-five fingers. What do you think, Ron?" Harry asked. Ron who was still off in lala land didn't pay much attention to this. He started to think over what Harry had said after awhile and instantly looked at him.

"Twenty-five fingers! Lemme see your hand!"

Harry's hand instantly shot up into the air just as Hermione returned with Madame Pomfrey.

"Harry! What do you think you are doing!? What happened to your hand!? Weasley, why weren't you keeping an eye on him?" Madame Pomfrey asked with a very sharp tone.

"Sorry, I just wasn't paying attention I guess," said Ron solemnly.

"Well, this can be fixed. Are you sure this is his ear, Hermione?"

"I'm pretty sure, yes."

"Well, it's worth a try. Did you figure out the spell?"

"Pottea," said Hermione.

"Very good!" And with that, Madame Pomfrey turned Harry back into a teapot, turned the ear into the missing piece, and fixed Harry. Then, she turned him back into his normal self and examined him throughly.

"Is everything okay?" asked Ron curiously.

"Yes, everything seems to be here." replied Madame Pomfrey, "The potion should wear off in no time at all."

"Thank you," said Hermione as she grabbed Harry's hand and walked away with him. Ron followed.

That night in the common room ...

"Thanks a lot for fixing me, guys," said Harry.

"No problem, mate," Ron said with a smile on his face. The three friends were now back together and felt that nothing else could possibly go wrong. The three of them walked out of the common room and headed for the Great Hall. This was one of those times when you felt you just had to celebrate.

*

The next day, Harry, Ron, and Hermione couldn't help but continue to feel happy that they were back together. Suddenly something struck Harry. What would happen in potions class? The Slytherins would, of course, have heard about Harry's becoming a teapot. And how exactly was he supposed to write with twenty-five fingers? Potions was their first class that day, and as Harry walked with his friends to Snape's dungeon, he wished he was still a teapot.

The trio finally arrived at Snape's dungeon. It had seemed to take them a short time, too. Peeves had been chasing them down the halls while throwing water balloons at them. Soaked from head to toe, they took their seats and waited for class to begin.

"Oh look, it's Teapotter and his friends." The rest of the Slytherins laughed. Of course, it was Draco Malfoy. "In my opinion, I think you looked better as a teapot."

Snape walked in just as Draco finished what he was saying. "Today class we are going to be making a shrinking potion. The ingrediants are on the board. I will be walking around to check on your progress."

As soon as Snape had turned his attention away from the class, a note fluttered over to Harry. He quickly opened it and read what was inside. He instantly turned red. Ron grabbed the note out of Harry's hands and read it as well. Instead of turning red though, Ron began to laugh. Hermione shot him a look and he instantly stopped.

"What seems to be the problem over here?" Snape asked. He walked over and stared directly at the three of them. "What have you gotten done?" he asked.

"Nothing yet, sir." replied Ron.

"Fifty points from Gryffindor for the interruption and if you don't have the potion completed by the end of class I'll make it seventy!" he turned and started to walk away when something caught his eye. "What's that?" he asked turning once again to face them.

"What's what, sir?" asked Harry. Snape pointed to the note.

"That."

"It's just a bit of old parchment that's all." Hermione said.

"Let me see it." Ron reluctantly handed the note to Snape. "Passing notes in class?" he asked. He unfolded the little peice of paper and began to read it aloud:

"Potter was a teapot, and he is still short and stout,
He got pissed of and let all of his steam out,
This happened during McGonagall's class,
He later found the missing piece in his ass.

No matter what else happens,
No matter what they say,
he will always be known as Mr. Potter the Teapot
To me."

The Slytherins began to laugh and Harry turned as red as Ron's hair. (A/N: That's a big accomplishment.) He felt like running out of the classroom but he couldn't, he still had to finish his potion. Trying to hide his face, Harry continued making his potion.

~*~

The next day, Harry refused to go down to the Great Hall so Ron and Hermione ended up skipping breakfast as well. They decided to go to Hagrids. It had seemed like forever since they had visited him. The knocked on his door and got no answer. They knocked again and still got no answer. Hermione called his name and opened the door. Hagrid's hut was completely filled with teapots. Harry saw this and began to scream. He ran out of the hut and into the forest. Hermione and Ron had no choice but to follow.

~*~

(A/N: I hope you liked this chapter. Please review! The next one will be longer I promise. It should be a lot more interesting as well.)