Summary: Meet James Potter, a clever, somewhat mischievous, popular student at Hogwarts. He takes every situation in stride and has everything under control, except one: Lily Evans, an amazingly beautiful and intelligent individual. He loves her more than anything, but she despises him more than anything, and a not-so-impressive run-in late at night with her leaves James thinking that chasing after Lily might be hopeless. Then, a series of events happen in James' life, which is topped off by an unexpected visitor that makes his sixth year too sweet to remember.
Categories: James/Lily Characters: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 25
Completed: Yes
Word count: 78521
Read: 132171
Published: 08/17/05
Updated: 07/21/06
1. Crumble to Ash by Canadian Confessional
2. An Unexpected Encounter by Canadian Confessional
3. The First Two Weeks of November by Canadian Confessional
4. The Duel by Canadian Confessional
5. The Stag by Canadian Confessional
6. One Winter Night by Canadian Confessional
7. Up and Down by Canadian Confessional
8. A Sneak into the Night by Canadian Confessional
9. Don't Try to Be a Hero by Canadian Confessional
10. Someone You Didn't Know by Canadian Confessional
11. The Christmas Party by Canadian Confessional
12. Such a Fool by Canadian Confessional
13. Second Semester Begins by Canadian Confessional
14. Failing for the First Time by Canadian Confessional
15. The End of the Beginning by Canadian Confessional
16. Cold Fog by Canadian Confessional
17. Poetry by Canadian Confessional
18. Victory Talk by Canadian Confessional
19. Saving Snape by Canadian Confessional
20. Eternally Bound by Canadian Confessional
21. Wine Tasting by Canadian Confessional
22. Promise to Remember by Canadian Confessional
23. Silent Night by Canadian Confessional
24. From You Have I Been Absent in the Spring by Canadian Confessional
25. Epilogue by Canadian Confessional
Crumble to Ash by Canadian Confessional
Crumble to Ash
A large gust of wind stirred up different coloured leaves from the ground up into the air and across the darkness of the night sky. The half moon created frightening shadows from the stalking trees that were stripped bare of their leaves. The vegetation from the hot summer was dying, and many animals had already felt the urgency to start thinking about winter migration. A chilly autumn breeze blew around an ancient castle that was unseen by most. The stone fortress seemed somewhat mysterious, but carried a sense of warmth and welcome in its doors. Inside the quiet confines of this old building sat an ambitious sixteen-year-old boy in the library.
The teen held a tired look to him as if he was living on too many coffees and sleepless nights. The fact that his head kept nodding up and down over his thick book reassured this inference. His hazel eyes were slightly blood-shot behind his round rimmed glasses, and his lips were curved in a bored frown. As the bespectacled boy leaned back on his wooden chair, he yawned and rumpled the back of his naturally untidy jet black hair. A couple of girls leaving the library that caught sight of him, smiled flirtingly. He hadn’t noticed though, he was too tired to notice.
His name was James Potter. The majority of students knew it, in fact, if someone at Hogwarts didn’t know it, they were assumed to be crazy or a socially blind outcast. He and his four other friends (who called themselves the Marauders) were considered the pinnacle of popularity. He was an extremely bright student, an amazing Chaser on his house (Gryffindor) Quidditch team, but slightly mischievous as many professors knew. He and his group knew all passageways through Hogwarts and broke almost every possible rule that could be broken. James was often caught hexing and jinxing people in the halls just because “he could” and the number of times he had gotten detention was now too many times to count. Even so, professors couldn’t help but adore him, and the student body couldn’t help but admire him. He was a wizard with many talents and charms.
Ironically, the library was an odd place for James to be seen. He was rarely ever there, and usually, he would most likely be planning his next prank or studying in the Gryffindor common room, but tonight was different. Tonight, there was something he wanted to check when no one else was around.
Unfortunately, there were still many students studying, and the library didn’t close for another hour. Out of impatience and boredom, James drew a moustache on a picture of a pudgy historical woman in his text book with his quill. Stretching, he took off his glasses and laid them down beside his sixth year Potions text book. Putting his head down against his arm, he gazed dreamily at a blurry bookshelf loaded with huge encyclopedias until he felt his eyes darken his site…
BANG!
“Huh? Wha-" stuttered James like a drunk as he felt his heart pound through his chest.
“The library is closing, Mr. Potter,” stated Irma Pince (the librarian) annoyingly as she tightly grasped the ruler that she had just slammed on the oak table.
Peering at James’ text book that he drew in, her eyes widened with disbelief.
“I suggest you leave before you don’t have time to make it back to your common room,” she added with a tone of irritation mixed with anger.
With that, she turned her back abruptly and headed over toward her desk to close-up. While doing so, she mumbled about vandalism and disrespect for pudgy historical woman in text books.
The sudden rude awakening James had just received seemed to wake him straight up. Grasping his glasses and glancing around the library quickly, he noticed that every student that was studying before had gone. Slowly and silently, he slipped his text books, wand, quill, and ink into his book bag. Just as soundlessly, he swiftly pulled out his invisibility cloak and threw it on top of himself as he walked over to a secluded corner of the library. A few minutes later, Madam Pince dimmed all the candles and left hurriedly through the library door.
This was his chance.
He hastily went over toward the “Restricted” section of the library and browsed through the sections until he came across a novel labeled “Hexes”. James felt his heart beat three times faster than usual at the site of this and cautiously made sure no one was around again. Exhaling sharply, he grasped the book off the shelf, sat down on the floor, and leaned against another bookshelf. Turning to chapter one with interest, he opened his book bag and took out an extra piece of parchment, his quill, and ink.
James spent a few hours in the library studying and reading over chapter one and two, occasionally putting down interesting hexes onto his piece of parchment.
Hex to produce growth twice as big? James examined interestedly glancing at page sixteen.
After reading chapter two and producing one piece of parchment full of notes, James peered at the hour glass on the wall which read: 11:09 P.M. Deciding it was time to go to bed, he placed the book back on the shelf where he had first grabbed it, packed up all his stuff, made sure not a trace of him being there remained, and left silently.
Rushing through the corridor with his invisibility cloak still on and his book bag bustling up and down, he thought about what he had been doing.
Sirius owes me big time for getting these. thought James.
The big problem all the Marauders ran into lately was that Madam Pince was very careful on what they were checking up or what books they were looking through. If the book held the slightest trace of any illegal hexes or jinxes, they were immediately told to get out of the library.
Swinging a left, James caught sight of the portrait hole and was about to whisper the password to the sleeping Fat Lady when it swung open to reveal somebody who carried a slight smell of cinnamon. Leaping toward the side, James inhaled sharply and peered up to see the one girl who made his knees weak.
Standing in front of the now closed portrait hole was Lily Evans. Her flowing auburn hair hung gracefully down to her shoulders. She wore a white shirt (which looked like part of her school uniform) that had the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. James noticed that instead of wearing a skirt and black shoes like in uniform, she wore a pair of denim jeans and navy flip-flop sandals. Her expression appeared listless, yet somewhat exhausted, and she seemed to be stopping her eye lids from falling over her fine, oval-shaped eyes. Biting the bottom of her rose coloured lips, she placed her wand into the pocket of her jeans and glanced around the hall. Lily sighed wearily and proceeded toward the corridor (which James had just come running from) to do her night patrol as prefect.
James knew that recently, because of recent rumors of something called "Death Eater" attacks becoming increasingly frequent, the patrols of Head Boy, Head Girl, and prefects were increased even into the late of night.
James felt deeply torn between his two choices: going back to his warm bed or following Lily. He thought instantly about what his best mate, Sirius, would do in his shoes, but reminded himself that asking for Sirius’ help on the subject of “Lily” had not exactly proven to be successful. Every time he had taken any of his advice he ended up being burned, scolded, or despised even more by her. Although, the honest truth that James hated to admit was that he had dug himself so deep into Lily’s “Most-hated list”, even without Sirius’ help, that he sometimes doubted whether he could get on her “Most-liked list”.
Finally, making up his mind and gulping down nerves, James followed Lily at a distance, watching her tiredly patrolling the halls.
He observed that she would often stop at some sleeping portraits and read the rationales accompanying them, yet he failed to notice that her eyes were glazed over with longing thoughts.
Why is she so amazing? pondered James dreamily as he continued to follow her from a few meters behind.
He had completely lost track of the time.
After Lily had read a rationale about a portrait of an Italian wine field, James decided to muster all his courage and get a closer look at her. The fact was that he had never been this close to her without making a fool of himself or getting yelled at. He tip-toed swiftly behind her until, suddenly, she halted to a stop mid-step. With a small gasp of horror, James used all his force not to bump into her. Turning around hastily, Lily peered down the corridor.
James was now eye-to-eye and face-to-face with Lily Evans. He could smell the faint scent of cinnamon she always carried, and her emerald eyes gleamed brightly in the dimness of the marble hallway.
At that moment, Lily stepped forward almost literally into James, and he had to scuffle backward awkwardly.
Then, a small, wooden something hit the floor and echoed throughout the corridor shattering the silence like glass being broken.
With a look of utter dismay, James saw that his thin wand had fell clumsily from his bag onto the cold, stone floor and rolled right to her foot. Deciding he needed to get out of this situation immediately, he clutched his wand quickly off the ground before Lily could grasp it, and was about to dash away to the common room as fast as his thin legs could carry him until he heard her yell, “Expelliarmus!”
With widened eyes, James watched his wand fly six meters away from him. Lily gripped the edge of his invisibility cloak with lightening speed and ripped it off to reveal a disarrayed and confused James Potter.
“H- Hey Evans,” stuttered James with one hand clutching the back of his untidy hair.
“Potter,” sighed Lily irritably while pointing her wand warningly at him, “don’t you have anything better to do? Or is this some way of exercising your nocturnal instincts?”
“Ha ha ha,” replied James sarcastically. “Gee Evans, I have to say, I’m slightly disappointed.”
“What is that suppose to mean?” she asked un-amused.
“Patrolling the halls not in full uniform? And you call yourself a prefect.”
“I don’t have time to bicker with you, Potter,” stated Lily. “I have better things to do.”
“So, you’re telling me that you’d rather glance at musty old portraits for another ten minutes instead of having a healthy conversation with me?” questioned James with a grin.
Unfortunately, Lily’s lips remained curved into a deep frown.
“Anything to do with you is unhealthy, Potter, and for the record, I have had more stimulating conversations with a tree.”
“A tree?!” yelped James. “C’mon, you’re just exaggerating!”
“No, actually I’m not!” replied Lily, her tone rising. “You’re rude, arrogant, and disgusting Potter! You’re living in your own whipped cream, bullying, la-la land that you find so amusing, but I think it’s sick. Really sick.”
She grasped James’ wand using a spell and tucked it into her jean pocket.
“Let’s see how the ‘famous’ toerag Potter gets himself out of this one,” responded Lily coldly, and then she walked around the corner and out of sight.
As the sound of her footsteps eventually vanished, James thought of going after her and demanding the return of his wand, but he knew that that wasn’t going to get him anywhere except onto Lily’s “Never going to speak to again list”. With a heavy heart, he dragged his feet back to the portrait hole (where the Fat Lady complained about being woken up) and into the common room. Once there, he glanced up to see the common room fire still burning brightly. With anger and frustration, James plunged his hand into his book bag and gripped the “Hex” notes he had taken just a few hours ago. He furiously crumpled the piece of parchment and threw it savagely into the blazing flames to watch it turn bloody red and crumble to ash.
Way to go Potter, you just made a fool out of yourself in front of Evans, again. You’ve just made a great impression! This is already turning out to be another bad year with her. thought James with resentment as he went up to his dormitory.
Little did he know that this year would be one of the best years of his life with Lily, and the Marauders, but he would be the only one to remember it all.
An Unexpected Encounter by Canadian Confessional
An Unexpected Encounter
The next morning, James awoke to the fresh scent of autumn and quiet tittering voices coming from the grounds below. Rubbing his eyes tiredly, he noticed that a nearby window was open, and that no one was present in his dormitory. Heaving himself out of bed, he changed into a rugged pair of worn out jeans and a plain, navy coloured t-shirt. While pulling on a pair of shoes, he glanced over at his bed-side clock to notice that there was something wrapped in white tissues plopped right beside it. Curiously grasping it, he unraveled it to reveal an apple, a raisin bagel, and a small piece of rolled up parchment. Setting his apple and bagel aside, he unrolled the parchment to reveal a note that read:
Prongs,
Since you slept through breakfast, we brought you something to eat for when you get up, whenever that is. You have some explaining to do about where you were last night. We are all curiously awaiting your answer. Talk to you later.
-Moony
P.S. The apple is from Wormtail, the bagel is from me, and…the tissues are from Padfoot.
With an amused smile, James tossed the note back onto his bed-side table, threw on his black jacket and Gryffindor scarf, slipped the apple into his pocket, and stuffed the bagel into his wide mouth. He headed down the stairs into the common room where he made sure Lily was not present. Taking another huge bite of his bagel, he stepped out of the portrait hole and made his way down onto the grounds.
That afternoon was incredibly beautiful. The sky was clear and pure blue without the faintest trace of a cloud in site. Red, orange, and brown leaves littered the dew drenched grass, and the sun’s presence immersed Hogwarts with comforting warmth. There were many students enjoying the weather while talking, studying, doing homework, and all other things they did on a Saturday.
James glanced around the grounds looking out for at least one of the Marauders as he took in the awesome scenery. After a bit of a walk and no luck on spotting any of his friends, he decided he should maybe go inside and have lunch since the bagel didn’t suffice. Just as he set one foot onto the steps of an entrance, he felt a light tap on his shoulder.
“Hello, James,” greeted a sweet voice, and he turned to face a tall, dark-haired girl wearing a denim jacket and flowing white skirt. Her chestnut eyes gleamed with excitement, and she smiled. “I’m Natalie Cleaver.”
“Hello,” replied James with a grin. “I know you. You were a Hufflepuff Chaser last year. Fourth year now, right?”
“Yeah,” she giggled. “I was worried you wouldn’t remember who I was.”
“Ah, well.”
“Actually, I just spotted you from over there,” she stated as she pointed over toward the lake, “and I was wondering if you could spare maybe twenty minutes?” She hooked arms with him forcefully. “With me?”
“Well, actually…”
“Please? It would mean a lot.”
“Er- Sure, why not?“
“Awww, thanks!” she dragged him off the steps, and he reluctantly walked beside her.
After about an hour of Natalie hanging off of James telling him something about how she had dumped her previous boyfriend, and how she felt that autumn was the most “romantic” season, James made some wild excuse about doing his “crazy, six parchment long charms essay”, and finally pried her off his arms. By the time he had made his way to the Great Hall, he noticed that lunch was already over and that supper wouldn’t be put out until at least two hours later. Trying to suppress a disappointed, loud growl from his stomach, he reached into his pocket and clutched the apple Peter had left for him.
I guess this is as good as it gets for now. he thought drearily and took a huge bite out of his glossy, red apple.
As he strolled through the hallways, he wondered where the other Marauders were. He knew almost for certain that Remus was in the library studying meticulously or reading some massive book. James concluded that Sirius and Peter were most likely back at the common room playing chess or fooling around.
Turning a right, he headed up to the portrait hole and poked his head into the common room. With mild surprise, he found only Peter (who was taking a nap comfortably in a large arm chair by the fire) present in the common room with a group of second years chatting non-stop.
Where is Sirius? pondered James curiously as he retrieved his head from the hole and headed back down the corridor he just came from.
Concluding that Sirius would most likely be on the grounds outside by now, he quickly stepped outside (first making sure Natalie wasn’t still sitting around just waiting to grab his arm) and peered over at the tall beech tree by the lake. Sure enough, he found Sirius lying against the trunk of the tree on his back, eyes closed, and two hands behind his head. A few crimson leaves had fallen and landed right on top of his black hoodie, but he didn’t seem to care. The shadows of the leaves danced upon his face, and the wind seemed to have blown his thin, dark hair in front of his eyes as if to make him more tempting to the third year girls passing by.
Walking over casually, James made his way to the beech tree and lay down right next to Sirius with his hands together placed on top of his stomach. For a few moments, both of them listened intently to the gusts of wind that rustled the tree and its leaves. During this time, the thought of Sirius actually sleeping came into James’ mind, but then suddenly Sirius said, “Hey.”
“Hey,” replied James. “Anything new?”
“Not really,” said Sirius with a smile and his eyes still closed. “How about you?”
“Nah, you know me,” James answered with a relaxed tone. “Oh, wait! Except, I have another one to add to the list.”
“The list” was something James and Sirius had made up at the beginning of the year. It was a piece of parchment which recorded every girl that tried to flirt “somewhat forcefully” with either James or Sirius.
“Really?” Sirius inquired; his tone full of intrigue. “Who was it this time?”
“You know that chaser for Hufflepuff last year? Natalie Cleaver?”
Sirius shook his head. “Describe her.”
“OK, well, she has long dark hair that’s kind of wavy, she’s sort of tall, and umm…”
“Prongs, you’re horrible at this.”
“You try explaining somebody. It’s hard. You can’t just say they have dark brown eyes and is wearing a Hufflepuff scarf.”
“Oh! Now I remember her! See Prongs, I knew you could do it!”
James just shook his head hopelessly, sat up, and glanced across the grounds. The sun was already near the west side, and it hit the water of the lake to reflect onto the side of his face.
“So, where were you yesterday?” came Sirius’ voice.
“Just looking up hexes. I was trying to find a new one that hasn’t been done before,” recalled James while ruffling the back of his hair.
“Oh, yeah?” asked Sirius curiously. “Anything else I might want to know about?”
There was suspicion in his voice.
“I was staring at Evans,” James admitted with a tone of bitterness at the thought of the scene he made last night.
Sirius erupted in hard laughter and moved onto his side to glance up at him.
“Oh, Prongs, you really crack me up…” Sirius trailed off with more laughter.
“It’s not that funny,” retorted James, slightly deflated as Sirius continued to laugh manically.
“Alright, alright,” panted Sirius still gasping for air, “tell me the whole story then.”
“I bumped into Evans when I was heading back kind of late. I was under my invisibility cloak, and when I got to the portrait hole she climbed out. So I followed her, and- “
“Stared at her endlessly?” cut in Sirius, bursting into laughter once again.
James glared at him. “Anyway, she caught me and then yelled at me for a bit. Then, she left to keep patrolling the halls.”
“I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again: Bad luck, Prongs,” remarked Sirius while pushing his hair back. “Oh, well, at least we have another person to add to ‘the list’. That makes how many now? Twelve girls?”
“Nine,” corrected James.
“Yeah, whatever. Why don’t you conjure it over here with your wand, so we can add it before we forget.”
James sighed and dug his hand into the back of his jeans but was aware that there was no wand there. With a sudden thought of panic, he tried to remember where he could have left it until the last event of the previous night came screaming back to him.
After a pause where James didn’t reply, Sirius sat up and asked, “Something the matter?”
“My wand…”
“Yeah, what about it?” inquired Sirius questioningly.
“I don’t have it,” said James almost emotionlessly as he tried to grasp this thought.
“What do you mean you don’t have it?!” yelped Sirius, his eyes goggling at James. “Did someone steal it?!”
“No, no, it’s not that. When Evans caught me in the hall last night she kind of took away my wand.”
Sirius’ inquiring face turned into a smile and then a dog like bark of laughter. James shrugged his shoulders with a grin plastered on his face.
“She took your wand?!” asked Sirius through laughing fits.
“I’m really screwed right now, aren’t I?” indicated James with his grin still in tact.
Sirius nodded as he struggled to suppress his dog like laughter, and James added, “That Evans, I don’t know what I’m going to do about her.”
That evening over dinner in the Great Hall, Sirius explained quite loudly to Peter and Remus about how Lily had taken James’ wand. Rumor and gossip spread through the Gryffindor table, onto the Hufflepuff table, Ravenclaw table, and finally to the Slytherin table. By the end of dinner, the rumor was that James had been up late at night fighting off Death Eaters and that when he came inside, Lily was there. She was supposedly put under the Imperius Curse for half a second and had no choice, but to disarm James and snatch his wand. James was said to jump into the common room with Lily, and then she fainted. Supposedly, when she woke up, she had no recollection of what she was doing.
This rumor created enormous female attention towards James, and as he left the Great Hall that night, he had one girl on each arm.
“Was it true that you had to fend off the Death Eaters using really advanced magic?” squeaked one girl clinging to his left arm.
“Well…” started James, but he was cut off.
“I heard Thora Cooke saying that you heroically pulled Lily with you into the common room as the Death Eaters shot severe curses at you!” peeped another girl on his right arm.
“Er…”
He was bombarded by more questions that kept getting farther and farther away from the truth until James had to literally dash into the Gryffindor common room and swiftly shut the portrait behind him to get rid of them all. Exhaling sharply, he rumpled his hair and glanced up to see Peter and Sirius erupting in laughter at the site of him. Remus’ lips seemed to want to twitch into a smile but remained a frown.
“I bet you wish it was full moon now instead of a week ago,” laughed Sirius.
“Because then you could hide in the Shrieking Shack until the barrage of female questions died down,” snickered Peter, finishing off Sirius’ sentence.
Both of them erupted in laughter once more, holding each other so they wouldn’t fall down. Tears of laughter slowly came out of Sirius’ grey eyes. Remus on the other hand, remained silent.
“No thanks to you, Padfoot!” yelled James with a tone of irritation.
“Chill, Prongs, it was just a little joke. A little rumor,” said Sirius trying to catch his breath.
“I have to say that it’s a rather big rumor,” stated Remus with a tone of disappointment.
“OK, so it was sort of a big rumor. So what?” challenged Sirius with a mock tone.
“Yeah, it was really a funny one too,” piped in Peter.
“It’s not the fact that every person in Hogwarts thinks that Prongs did some amazing death-defying feet, but the fact that every student in Hogwarts knows he is now wand-less and defenseless.”
“C’mon Moony,” sighed Sirius. “Our little Jamesey here can get out of anything. Even without a wand.” He walked over to James and slung his arm around him.
“I have to admit, Moony, that I’m not too worried about that, I’m just worried about getting mobbed again,” admitted James sheepishly.
“By females?” added Peter, and Sirius snorted.
James couldn’t help, but smirk about the situation Sirius had gotten him into, and even Remus rolled his eyes and grinned.
The nice weather from yesterday carried over to Sunday, and the four Marauders were caught scratching quills frantically against parchment under the beech tree by the lake.
Sunday was always dictated as “study like crazy and finish homework” day for all the Marauders, well, other than Remus, who thought of Sunday as “finish studying ahead two chapters in each subject” day.
“I don’t get this question!” squeaked Peter while grasping his hair tightly. “Help!”
“Calm down, Wormtail,” replied Sirius with a bit of stress hidden in his voice. “You have a brain! Use it!”
James reached over to apply more ink on his quill but ended up spilling his ink pot onto his Transfiguration essay.
“Crap!” yelped James helplessly as he quickly tried to tip the ink off the page.
“I told you guys you should have done it earlier,” added Remus sharply.
“Oh, shut-up,” retorted Sirius and Peter at the same time.
“Alright, if you’re so smart, get this ink off my paper,” remarked James.
“Why don’t you do it yourse- “ Remus paused. “Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.” He flicked his wand, and James’ parchment returned to normal.
“I still don’t understand how Muggles can survive,” sighed James as he went back to finishing his essay.
James wouldn’t finish homework until late in the evening, ironically, in the library. Peter and Sirius were still hard a work, scribbling away, while Remus had already retired to the Gryffindor common room.
Stretching, James jumped to his feet and yawned just as he finished his last word on his Potions questions.
“Well, boys and girls, hope you have fun finishing that. I’m going to hit the sack,” he announced and quickly dumped all his items in his book bag, and then left the library with relief.
As James walked down a quiet hallway on his way back to the Gryffindor common room, he thought about how he was going to get his wand back. He hadn’t seen Lily all day, and he highly doubted that he would see her back at the common room. He couldn’t possibly go to class without his wand though. He could just imagine McGonagall lecturing him on proper wand handling.
So immersed in thought, James had not noticed that someone had been following him at a close distance. Then, suddenly, there was a rustle of robes, and James instinctively turned behind him. Peering down the corridor, he didn’t see a soul. Thinking that maybe Peeves was playing a cruel joke on him, he shrugged his shoulders, but the tension in the air seemed to stay. He took another step forward and heard another rustle. Pausing for half a second, James decided to walk extremely slowly so he could hear the footsteps. Sure enough, there were some, and they seemed to be getting closer and closer until finally, James knew they were in at least two meters length of him. Whipping around, he suddenly felt a huge force bang against his chest that sent his book bag flying, and him skidding across the stone floor on his back. Grasping his chest, James lifted his head up to see Severus Snape (whose face was a sickening puce colour) with a wand pointed directly at him. Without another word, Severus waved his wand and flung James across the hallway to bash against the wall.
Falling to his knees, James gasped for air as he glanced up to see Severus walk over with the wand still raised. Thinking quickly, he rolled over to the side just as Severus had yelled, “SECTUMSEMPRA!”
A huge slash on the wall appeared, breaking through some bricks, and James felt a sudden gashing pain down his right arm.
He had not avoided the full blow.
Clutching it, he felt some blood soak his robes.
“What’s the matter Snivellus?” taunted James furiously. “You couldn’t take me on yourself when I had a wand, so you decided that I would be easy prey without one?”
Severus’ face turned a fuming crimson, and he shot another hex at James.
“You can’t even get me when I’m defenseless!” shouted James, as he avoided the hex.
All of a sudden a searing white pain slapped him across the face, and he fell backwards still clutching the side of his arm. He had heard something shatter, and when he opened his eyes, he noticed that his glasses had been broken. Severus was now approaching James closer.
“Potter,” spat Snape, and he stomped his foot on top of James’ right arm.
With a gasp of agonizing pain, James tried fruitlessly to shove Severus’ foot off his arm, but it seemed to be permanently planted there. Severus grasped James’ throat and pointed his wand at him. “Goodnight Potter,” he grinned.
“EXPELLIARMUS!” shouted someone, and Severus’ wand had flown out of his hand.
He retrieved his foot from James’ arm, and the pain subsided somewhat. Snape’s grasp around James’ throat was released, and he coughed for air.
Some shots of green light zoomed across the hall, and finally, James saw Severus running hastily past him with lavender hair and green scales on his face. As James heaved himself up, Sirius ran towards him with his wand still in hand.
“Coward,” spat Sirius after Severus as he helped James to his feet. “You OK, mate?”
“Yeah, fine. Just don’t- “
Sirius grasped James’ right arm to swing over his shoulder.
“Touch that!” gasped James as he winced with pain.
Sirius glanced down at his hand and saw the blood from James’ robes.
“Gosh, Prongs, you really got to take better care of yourself.”
With that, the both of them headed to the Hospital Wing.
The First Two Weeks of November by Canadian Confessional
The First Two Weeks of November
“You sure you’ll survive?” asked Sirius with mock concern.
James raised his eyebrows sarcastically as if to say, “Very funny”.
The two of them were sitting on a bed in the Hospital Wing as Madam Pomfrey tended to James’ cut arm with some thick, green substance. It was already past curfew, but it wasn’t a big issue for Sirius and James. They were always out past curfew anyway.
“Reparo,” Sirius said casually to mend James’ glasses.
“Thanks. I was starting to wonder when you were going to do that.”
“All you had to do was ask, mate.”
Meanwhile, as they talked, Madam Pomfrey muttered hopelessly to herself under her breath as she observed James’ wound.
“How in Merlin’s beard did you get this?!” she asked flabbergasted.
“Hmm,” started James, “that’s a good question.”
The two walked back together towards the Gryffindor common room after Madam Pomfrey had finished dabbing the green liquid and wrapping James’ arm. Both boys were not the type to “tell” a professor about Severus’ ambush. They had already agreed subconsciously that they would get back at him in a different way.
“Now you’ll have a battle scar to go with that story of yours,” added Sirius smartly.
“Har, har, har.”
Both of them climbed into the portrait hole where they met with Remus and Peter sitting by the fire. Remus’ eyebrows were lifted in inquiry, and Peter immediately got up and raced towards them asking constant questions.
“Where were you guys? Who did you talk to? Why is- “ Peter stopped as he caught site of James’ bloody robes. “What happened to your arm, Prongs?!”
James took the seat Peter had just got up from and sighed tiredly. Inhaling, he told the story of how he had got into a wand-less duel with Severus and ended up getting his arm tended to in the Hospital Wing.
“I told you,” stated Remus glancing at James and Sirius. “You shouldn’t have broadcasted that piece about Prongs’ wand.”
“Yeah, geez,” James added punching the side of Sirius’ shoulder.
Sirius just shrugged and smirked as he defended himself by saying, “Well, what can you do?”
“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m heading to bed, and I’d advise all of you to do the same,” stated Remus darkly, shaking his head as he got up.
The other three Marauders just laughed heartily, and Remus headed upstairs. As soon as he vanished up the staircase though, there was a shout, and he appeared once again at the foot of the stairs.
“Err…Prongs. I think you need to…uhh…”
“What’s the matter, Moony?” asked Peter curiously.
“Dormitory! Now!” yelled Remus incredulously.
The four ran upstairs hurriedly and pushed open the door with lightening speed to see what Remus had been talking about.
The truth was that it wasn’t something horrific, at least for most of them. Peter’s bed remained untouched and perfectly in tact. Everything was the same as he had left it and same with Remus’ and Sirius’ bed. Only James’ bed was stuck to the roof with all his belonging scattered on the floor where his bed should have been. In the middle of his disarranged items was placed a note. Walking over cautiously, James picked it up and unrolled it. It read,
Hello Potter,
I have the pleasure to inform you that you have a prompt detention with Professor McGonagall at 8:00pm tomorrow. I hope you have fun, and that you think twice before stalking me in the halls late at night. I hope this also taught you what it feels like to be an easy “target”.
~Lily Evans
P.S. The bed will fall as soon as you finish reading this note.
With widened eyes, James jumped out of the way just as his bed came down with a crash. The three other Marauders looked at him questionably with astonished struck faces. To their utmost surprise, James erupted into uncontrolled laughter.
“No need to worry,” he reassured them. “It’s just Evans.”
He walked over, gave them the note, and went back to his bed to try to flip it over onto the proper side.
“Wow, she’s got spunk,” remarked Sirius.
“Yeah, I think a little too much spunk,” added Peter with surprise.
“Did she say anything about giving back your wand?” inquired Remus, still staring in disbelief at the fallen bed.
“No, but I bet it’s around here somewhere.”
James had managed to flip over his bed, and he was leaning under it to gather all his things.
“How are you so sure?” asked Remus as he went over to his bed to inspect it.
Sirius and Peter seemed to be doing the same.
“I know Evans,” replied James as he flung a pair of dirty socks out from under his bed. “She wouldn’t leave me stranded like this for classes. She’s too perfect.”
“I- I wouldn’t exactly call that perfect,” stammered Peter, clearly still in shock.
“It’s probably under here somewhere…”
“Accio James’ wand,” sighed Sirius.
A mahogany, 11" wand came flying out from a pile of clothes under the bed and into Sirius’ hand.
“Looking for this?”
“Much obliged, Padfoot.”
Sirius threw him is wand.
James flicked it, and it sent all his items back into their original position. Changing out of his robes, (which he put the Scourgify spell on to clean) he crawled into bed and placed his glasses on the bed-side table.
“Prongs, that is one cold chick,” remarked Sirius, and James just chuckled.
The Great Hall was already full as James stepped inside it the next morning. A large wave of chattering voices and clanging plates drowned his ears as he walked over to sit next to Sirius who appeared to be engaged in conversation with four girls. He recognized two of them, Fiona Wellings and Angela Haynes, who were inevitably on “the list.” Another of the girls was a fourth year Ravenclaw girl named Audrey Filendale. She had short, dark-violet hair that was extremely straight with half-bangs that flopped over her chocolate brown eyes. The other was a fifth year Slytherin named Gina McKee who had flowing blond hair, large breasts, and bright blue eyes that gleamed excitedly. They all seemed to be discussing a very intriguing conversation.
“If I was a tree, I’d be a Christmas tree!” squeaked Gina happily. “The reason is because they are cheerful.”
“I’d be a maple because of the syrup!” peeped Fiona.
“I’d be a dandelion!” put-in Angela.
“Hey Prongs,” said Sirius seeing James sit down across from him. “Any more beds fall on you?”
“Actually, I think you should be more concerned with that question yourself,” replied James in a mocking tone as he grasped some pancakes with a fork.
“Did you- ?”
James just shrugged his shoulders as he poured some syrup, and Sirius quickly got up and raced back to the common room to check if his bed had been tampered with. The girls followed him.
James chuckled.
Audrey, who remained at the table, turned to him shyly, but James hadn’t noticed until he reached for a pear. As he prepared to address her, someone sat down next to him and slapped his back.
“James Potter,” started the girl who just sat next to him, “you are truly the worst.”
Her almond coloured eyes framed by thin, oval-shaped glasses peered at his thin face, and her wavy, semi-long hazel hair barely brushed against her shoulders as she turned to face him.
“I just passed Sirius ripping up the hallway back to the common room with three girls biting as his heels.”
“Well, what can you do?” he asked as he popped a grape into his mouth.
“And what is this I hear about you fighting off Death Eaters?”
He shrugged with a grin. “So, Naomii, what have you been up to? Not getting yourself into trouble are you?”
“Me?” she asked innocently. “No. Where did you ever get a thought like that?”
He smirked at her with one sarcastic eyebrow raised, and she just fluttered her eye lashes. Finally, she leaned in and whispered in his ear,
“What are your plans before Christmas break?”
James rustled his hair and replied, “Nothing, at least of interest.”
“Good, because I am ‘not’ thinking of doing a Christmas party, and holding it on December seventeenth. I am also ‘not’ thinking of doing it in the Gryffindor common room. Also, I am most certainly ‘not’ going to have it lavishly decorated and invite as many people as I can. And another thing, I will definitely ‘not’ have any alcohol present. So, you won’t tell every single soul you know, will you?”
“Of course not,” replied James amused. “I know you are ‘not’ going to do a party anyway, so what would be the point?”
She smirked somewhat smugly as she got up from the table and remarked, “Good to know.”
Just as James turned back to finishing his last piece of pancake, he heard her call, “Oh, yeah, and remember ‘not’ to try to invite the little red-haired girl.”
James rolled his eyes sarcastically at her and turned back to notice that Audrey was no longer present.
The first two weeks of November seemed to fly by as quickly as they came. Something in the air seemed to fuel a partial interest in the students for the subjects being taught. It also might have been because the dreadful scent of mid-term exams loomed nearer each day.
Even so, James remained indifferent. He still exchanged notes with the Marauders in class, thought up “prank” schemes, and slacked off as much as he could. Day-dreaming had become even more common for James than usual as he struggled to pull himself away at the contemplation of a certain red-haired someone. Unfortunately, the mere thought of her was addicting to him. He would imagine joking around in the halls with her, finishing homework by the Gryffindor common room fire together, kissing her at the Christmas party…
“Potter,” came Professor McGonagall’s voice rather displeased.
Sirius shook James’ arm abruptly.
“Wha- “ asked James suddenly aware that his whole Transfiguration class was looking at him.
“I just asked you a question about the current topic: animagi,” stated Professor McGonagall bluntly. “Would you care to answer it?”
“I’m terribly sorry Professor, I misheard the question before,” he replied graciously. “Could you please repeat it?”
“I highly doubt you heard it in the first place,” she remarked.
A few giggles appeared throughout the room.
She sighed and then said, “How does a witch or wizard decide on an animagi form?”
“Well, the wizard or witch doesn’t really choose what form they become, it usually adapts to the animal he/she shares a quality or personality with,” replied James smartly.
A faint smile almost passed through Professor McGonagall’s lips, but she just nodded.
“That is correct, Mr. Potter.” She walked back to her desk. “Alright everybody, that is all for today. Please remember to review chapters five and six for Monday,” she announced.
The class packed up their items and left the classroom.
“If you weren’t one yourself, you wouldn’t have known the answer to that question,” whispered Sirius as he kept pace with James, who was walking unusually fast down the hall.
James did not respond. He was still wishing that his day-dream had not been interrupted.
“Hello? Anybody home?” pressed Sirius once again.
“What?”
“Is there something wrong?”
James shook his head. “No, why would you say something like that?”
He turned a corner briskly.
“It’s just,” started Sirius, “there seems to be something on your mind.”
“Well, there isn’t. So, there is nothing to worry about.”
Sirius grabbed James by the elbow and stopped him.
“What is on your mind?” asked Sirius with a hint of actual seriousness in his tone.
A group of third year students passed by them, and their laughs mixed with the rest of the other voices apparent in the busy hallway. Some students almost bumped into them, and others gave them quizzical glances.
“Nothing, alright,” retorted James as he pulled his arm away.
He glanced at Sirius who seemed to be wearing a face full of suspicion still. “Everything’s fine,” he re-stated. “I was just trying to think who the suckers might be that get our hex we’re planning to do tonight,” he added, knowing that this topic would change Sirius’ curiosity immediately.
“Yeah, maybe if we’re lucky, Snivelly will be one of them,” smirked Sirius as relief that the subject had changed washed over James.
“I still think it is a very bad idea,” remarked Remus disapprovingly as he grabbed a dinner bun. “All you’re going to do is get yourselves into detention.”
The four Marauders were in the Great Hall that evening eating dinner and discussing their discovery of a new hex James and Sirius wanted to try out.
“Oh please, Moony,” sighed Sirius somewhat wearily as he took a sip of pumpkin juice. “Who says we are going to get caught?”
Remus just rolled his eyes and replied bluntly with, “You always get caught.”
“No,” said James slightly offended. “What about full-moon time?”
“Will you keep it down!” implored Remus hastily.
James and Sirius snickered.
“Oh, just don’t talk about it!” stated Peter slightly irritated. “I want to do the hex too tonight, but I have to finish my essay. It’s already two days late!”
“Well, that’s your own fault, Wormtail,” answered Sirius.
“Don’t worry about it, we’ll fill you in later,” James reassured him and then took a bite out of a chicken wing.
That night, James and Sirius lay hidden underneath James’ invisibility cloak. They were huddled together closely, seeing as their growing height was now becoming a major issue as they waited patiently around a dark corner for easy hexing prey coming back from late dinner in the Great Hall. Wands raised, they watched the corridor for people like eagles searching for supper.
Then, as if on cue, Maggie Hutchens, a somewhat “posh” second year, came prancing around the corner. Sirius signaled to James that he would do this one, and a bright flash of blue light shot of his wand to hit Maggie. Her head started to become bloated until it grew to twice as big as normal size. She felt around her head and shrieked as she ran down the hall.
Sirius chuckled.
After five more hexes, and inevitably, five more large heads, James and Sirius were laughing so hard they had to use each other as support.
Word had spread extremely fast about the “mysterious-head-growing-dark-corner” and a crowd, glancing to see who the next victim would be, started to appear from a distance for shear entertainment.
The amount of people and the attention, seemed to fuel James and Sirius with pure confidence, for they started to hex both at the same time to hear an eruption of laughter from the spectators.
“My head! MY HEAD?!” shouted Bertram Aubrey (being the latest victim) as the crowd burst into laughter.
James and Sirius could no longer suppress their snickers and were laughing as hard as the crowd, when suddenly someone had shouted, “What is going on here?!”
James suddenly stopped, his chest going up in down rapidly. Sirius, who didn’t seem to notice, continued to laugh uncontrollably. A few of the on-lookers stopped, while others, like Sirius, were still giggling.
“What IS going on here?!” came the voice again twice as loud and twice as harsh, and this time the whole crowd was silenced immediately.
Sirius, (who obviously had still not heard) was gasping for air, when James elbowed him in the side.
As soon as he had done so though, he wished he hadn’t.
From the bump, Sirius had stepped back onto the edge of the invisibility cloak, and it uncovered all of James to the spectators (who either gasped or screeched with delight), and the person whose voice had come down the hall to silence everyone; the voice of Lily Evans.
The Duel by Canadian Confessional
The Duel
“H- Hey Evans,” greeted James with one hand immediately jumping to his hair.
She sighed, rolling her stunning green eyes. She seemed even more tired than the last time James saw her and there were lines under her eyes that were not apparent before.
“Potter, I should have known.”
“In the flesh.”
“Are you spreading more Death Eater rumors again, or is this something else?” she inquired rather bluntly.
“Well, you know just as well as I do that that was just a bit of fun,” commented James innocently. “At least I’m not collapsing beds on anybody.”
“Why don’t you grow up, and leave poor second and first year students, who don’t know your prat-like ways, alone? Or, perhaps that’s too much of a large concept to get your bloated head to wrap around?” retorted Lily calmly.
The crowd (who were now creating a circle around Lily and James) hooted and cat-called at this blunt piece of sarcasm.
“It was just a bit of head alteration,” grinned James, his confidence boosting with every second the crowd stared at him. “Besides, they weren’t all first and second years.”
“Why don’t you pick on people at your own level, Potter?” stated Lily coldly, frowning at him with utmost dislike though her eyes gleamed faintly with a burning thought; to use James Potter as her outlet for frustration.
“Is that a challenge, Evans?” questioned James, half of him hoping it was, and the other half hoping it wasn’t.
The spectators hooted again as Lily’s frown turned into a smirk.
“It might just be.”
“You sure you’re up to this, Evans?” asked James mockingly as he raised his wand. “I won’t go easy on you just because you’re beautiful.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” she replied as she found herself raising her own wand.
The audience fell soundless as a deafening silence appeared for a few seconds as both of them stared at each other.
“Impedimenta!” yelled Lily suddenly, shattering the silence.
James side-stepped awkwardly out of the way as he countered the spell.
“Nice try, but you’ll have to do better than that!” he taunted after her.
She yelled another spell at him as she easily avoided one of his, and it clipped him in the back of the head creating a bald spot.
“You are such a cruel chick!” he yelped as he touched the back of his head.
The crowd erupted in laughter.
She smiled but was struck head-on with a jinx James had just sent flying. Her legs wobbled together uncontrollably, and she realized she had just been hit with the jelly-legs jinx.
“Toerag!” she yelled.
“Beautiful!” shouted James back.
“Scourgify!” she barked before she collapsed on the floor, and James’ mouth filled with soap bubbles.
Using this time, Lily muttered the counter-curse, and she was up on her feet again while James wiped out the remaining soap bubbles in his mouth.
“Mmmm, lemon flavoured,” stated James on the type of soap she had washed his mouth with.
She grasped a nearby garbage can by a water fountain and flung it at him while saying a sticking charm.
“Protego!” he said, and the garbage can stuck to Lily’s left arm.
“Damnit!” she cursed.
“Watch your language, Evans!” called James earnestly.
“Rictumsempra!” Lily yelled furiously, and James was instantly on the ground clutching his sides laughing.
Prying off the garbage can, she flung it at James who just seemed to be recovering from the laughing spell.
“Reducto!” he yelled quickly, and the garbage can burst into a thousand flames right before it slammed into his face.
The audience applauded with cheers.
“Ready to give up yet, Potter?” asked Lily reproachfully.
“I’m just getting warmed up.”
“Tarantallegra!” exclaimed Lily, and James’ feet started to dance uncontrollably. “I believe it’s Italian,” she added with a smug grin.
“Sonorus!” replied James with his feet still dancing.
“HEY!” yelled Lily when she didn’t mean to. “YOU PRAT! I CAN’T CONTROL MY VOICE!”
The spectators giggled.
“PERTRIFICUS TOTALUS!” she shouted, but James magically seemed to dance out of the way.
“Serpensortia!” said James as a snake appeared from his wand.
“WINgarDiUM lEviOsA!” half-shouted Lily in reply as she tried to control her voice.
James flew up into the air, still dancing.
“Real ingenious, Evans,” called James from above.
“SiLEnCIo!” she yelled, and he fell silent.
Moving around the serpent carefully and making sure it didn’t attack any of the on-lookers, Lily racked her brain for the spell she needed. Meanwhile, James was still struggling to get himself down. Lily finally muttered a spell, and the snake vanished as James fell back onto the hard, stone floor, no longer dancing. Glancing up at each other hastily, they both raised their wands and yelled, “EXPELLIARMUS!”
Two bright flashes of light later with some “oohs” and “ahs” from the crowd, James and Lily were standing two meters apart from each other, both of them wand-less.
“Shall we call this a tie then?” questioned James finally with a grin.
Lily’s thought-to-be-permanent frown around James curved into a smile.
“What IS going on here?! exclaimed somebody down the hall, and the crowd started to disperse rapidly, but James and Lily refused to break eye-contact as they remained standing. Both were transfixed and intrigued by the other.
“I guess we will,” said Lily suddenly, and she dashed down the hall, grabbing her wand off the floor on the way, leaving James dumb-struck and wondering.
“C’mon Prongs!” urged Sirius as he tugged on James’ arm.
The invisibility cloak and James’ wand were clutched in Sirius’ hand.
James remained silent.
“Prongs! We have to go before- Professor McGonagall! Pleasant evening, isn’t it?” greeted Sirius with a warm voice.
“Save it, Mr. Black,” she stated immediately. “I have gotten so many complaints about illegal hexing and double sized heads to last me a life time. You and Mr. Potter will have a double detention with me this coming weekend at 10:00 A.M. sharp. I also don’t want to hear any “ifs”, “ands”, or “buts” about it just because it is during a Hogsmeade outing. Fifteen points from Gryffindor!” After she had finished, she turned her back abruptly but then glanced back at James’ bald spot at the back of his head. “Mr. Potter, why in the world do you have a patch of hair missing?
James did not reply.
“Never mind,” she sighed.
She muttered a spell to make hair on the back of James’ head appear once again and walked back in the direction of her office.
“Good job,” remarked Sirius un-amused as soon as Professor McGonagall was out of ear shot. “If you just listened to me, we wouldn’t have double detention.”
“Sorry, what did you say?” asked James, clearly showing he had just realized where he was and what had happened.
Sirius raised an annoyed eyebrow as he started to head back to the common room with James following him.
“I know exactly what Moony is going to say,” started Sirius with irritation. “He’s going to say…”
“I told you so,” stated Remus bluntly as Sirius explained how he and James got double detention.
When the two came back from their fiasco, Remus had just caught them on his way back from prefect duty. They immediately sat in front of the common room fire to discuss how the evening’s events unfolded.
“I said…” started Remus.
“’You always get caught’ I know, I know,” imitated Sirius with a tone of offence. “Well, if it wasn’t for Prongs being so bloody flabbergasted by actually tying in a duel with somebody- “
“Prongs tied in a duel?” asked Remus with a tone of intrigue and immense curiosity. “With whom?”
“Do you even have to ask?” questioned Sirius as he nodded towards James who was sitting in an arm chair gazing at the fire with glazed eyes. It was obvious that he had not heard what Remus and Sirius were conversing about.
“Honestly?!” inquired Remus incredulously after glancing at James’ state for approximately a minute or so. “You cannot be serious!”
Sirius just sighed and nodded.
“Lily Evans? He dueled with Lily Evans, and he tied with her? What do you mean by tied?”
“They both disarmed each other at the same time at the very end before McGonagall came. I have to admit, the girl has fire-power and an interesting choice of spells.”
“Really? Well no wonder Prongs is so dazed.” Remus glanced over at James still staring at the fire. “He has no bloody idea what we are talking about, does he?”
“Not a clue,” replied Sirius while rolling his eyes.
“But will the detention interfere with you-know-what?” questioned Remus as he tore his attention away from James.
“You mean with our outing?”
“Shhh!” remarked Remus instantly as he eyed a group of fifth and fourth year students suspiciously.
“Would you stop being such an up-tight, paranoid freak,” said Sirius bluntly. “No, McGonagall said the weekend. Friday is a weekday in case you didn’t know.”
Remus scowled at him. “I know what a weekday is.”
“Just making sure,” replied Sirius sarcastically as he pushed back his dark hair casually.
A pair of girls coming through the portrait hole giggled.
“I was just making sure that you could still do it, because I don’t want you guys falling asleep in the middle of detention,” Remus said, while realizing that he was losing the attention of Sirius to the pair of girls.
“It doesn’t matter. Prongs and I fall asleep all the time.”
“Padfoot! That’s horrible.”
“Keep your pants on Moony, I was only joking around.” Sirius smiled charmingly at the girls, and they both blushed a light rose colour. One of them touched the side of her cheek and
whispered into the other’s ear.
“You know,” started Remus briskly. “If you keep flirting with those girls, you won’t get a certain someone’s affection.”
“W- What?” asked Sirius with surprise, breaking his usual suave attitude.
Remus just shrugged casually, but it was obvious he was holding in a faint smile. Sirius had now lost total interest with the two girls that he was flirting with.
“What did you say?” demanded Sirius somewhat annoyed.
“Well, you didn’t care to listen,” replied Remus smugly. “I guess you’ll never know.” With that, he got up from his seat and climbed the stairs of the boys’ dormitories.
“You know, he is right mate,” came a voice suddenly, and Sirius turned back to face James.
“Right about what?!” inquired Sirius now with a tone of bewilderment.
“I was day-dreaming, and even I heard. Oh, and by the way, it’s so obvious.”
“What’s obvious?!”
James threw his head back laughing. “Well, you didn’t care to listen.”
The next few days passed by exceptionally quickly. The amount of homework being given per each class was surmounting greatly, and most students were too hard at work to keep gossip coming around. Even the duel between Lily and James barely circulated at all (if it did), so luckily, Professor McGonagall or any other professors never caught word of it.
Even the Marauders were hard at work hastily finishing essay after essay and reading at least three chapters in each subject.
Remus Lupin was now seen almost permanently by the fire in the Gryffindor common room reading up on each subject until the exhausting late hours of the evening or the early light of morning.
Peter Pettigrew was often seen running back and forth from the library and the common room. Sometimes, he could be found struggling with a certain question at a table in the library with other thick books as company. Other times he was with Remus, cramming in some late reading.
Sirius Black was most commonly seen reading under the beech tree near the lake even when winter’s chill nipped ferociously at him. The reason why he was outside most of the time even when there was ten centimeters of snow on the ground, puzzled some for a short bit of time until they realized that that was one of very few places where no one else wanted to go. Therefore, many people left him alone there. He didn’t usually take notes as Remus and Peter did, but just read and carried his other subject text books he wasn’t reading in his book bag.
The last of the Marauders, and the gang ringleader, James Potter, was actually seen the least common of the four. Most of the time, he was observed to go from class to class chatting away with his class mates, the Marauders, or some girls sucking up to him to persuade him to take them to Naomii’s Christmas party. James was evidently the least stressed about the sudden homework load because of the way he behaved. Some would even say he only had one pair of lines under his eyes instead of three or more like everybody else. Another curious note was that he seemed to literally vanish after classes, re-appear for dinner in the Great Hall, and then disappear once again without a trace.
Some people were curious and wanted to know where the famous James Potter would go. Some guesses were that he wasn’t studying at all and was instead sneaking off to Hogsmeade. Other inferences were that he might be in various empty hallways under the invisibility cloak.
Unfortunately, every single student (which included the other three Marauders) was too busy drowning up to their ears in homework to find or figure it out.
The Stag by Canadian Confessional
~Chapter Five~
The Stag
“Prongs, didn’t think you’d show up, because we haven’t seen you in a while,” remarked Sirius.
James just shrugged his shoulders with a grin as he peered at the glittering light of the full moon reflecting off the snow.
The three Marauders (James, Sirius and Peter) were quietly walking across the grounds outside trying with difficulty to keep the invisibility cloak on to conceal all of them. They carefully made sure that no one else was around and traveled in the shadows so as not to be seen. Their breath was visible in the frost bitten time of winter as the end of November started to come to an end.
Peter rushed across the snow behind a bush and after much deliberation, signaled to the other two to follow. The three of them poked their heads out from a bush to see a huge, thick based tree that gave out an eerie feel to it; the Whomping Willow.
Sirius and James glanced at Peter who nodded his head and started to dash towards the tree. Instantly, the large tree started to stir slightly at Peter’s sudden approach and began to shake even more the closer he came. Then, suddenly, Peter’s legs started to shrink shorter and smaller, and his ears rounded a bit more. His mousy features started to become even more visible and within a few seconds where a sixteen boy used to stand there was a small rat fumbling across the snow clumsily. The rat was too small to be hit by the Whomping Willow, and it crawled into a small hole at the base of the tree. As soon as Peter was inside, the Willow stopped as if it were frozen in time or paralyzed.
Acting hastily, James and Sirius ran towards the tree. Sirius’ sexy black hair seemed to grow into fur around his face and neck. His feet turned into large paws, and his arms went forward so he was on all fours. Sirius’ nose pushed out and his jaw grew. James also went onto all fours, and his fingers and toes molded into hooves. On the top his head sprung two antlers, his neck extended somewhat, and his back curved gracefully. The black dog and the tall stag both made their way to the bottom of the Whomping Willow and disappeared.
After a dark and creaky pathway, the three animals emerged inside the Shrieking Shack in Hogsmeade. The small place had tattered curtains and scratched wooden floors. The furnishings (such as the bed and couch) appeared to be clawed and gnawed at. The boarded up windows allowed almost no moonlight in, and a mirror placed on one wall was half-shattered. The smell inside was musty and stuffed. Sitting on the ragged bed was Remus Lupin in his werewolf form scratching and biting himself fiercely as he howled agonizingly in pain.
The black dog immediately jumped onto the bed in an attempt to calm Remus down. The stag glanced around and walked about as the rat followed. The three waited for Remus to relax and be able to retain some control. About an hour later, the three animagi and the werewolf headed out into the streets of Hogsmeade.
The lamps along the cobblestone roads let off a soft glow as they passed. James hurried over to the window of Honeydukes, which was obviously closed, and Peter scuttled along beside Sirius and Remus cautiously looking out for any people. James ran back toward Sirius and bumped him gently with his antlers. Sirius, knowing this to be a challenge for a race, started to take off at a sprint, and Remus followed. James scooped Peter on top of his back with his horns and ran gracefully after Sirius trying to surpass him.
When they reached the Hog’s Head, James with Peter had pulled into first place, then Sirius, and finally Remus. James did a somewhat mocking trot around Sirius, and Peter flew off of James’ antlers in the process. Sirius lunged at James, toppling him over. They wrestled in the snow until a few squeaks from Peter signified somebody was approaching. Quickly, James and Sirius nudged Remus over into the alleyway as the passerby went by. Exhaling sharply, James signaled that they should head back toward the Shrieking Shack. Peter and Sirius seemed to agree as they walked back through the streets and back.
Once inside, James laid down comfortably on the bed as Sirius licked his paw by the fireplace. Peter tried to entertain by doing flipping tricks off the bed, which seemed to mesmerize Remus somewhat. James yawned, and finally Sirius let out a bark of annoyance. Peter stopped instantly, and Sirius went into the tunnel to go out onto the Hogwarts grounds. The other three followed obediently. The crisp air filled their noses once again, and Sirius ran around the snow happily. James trotted across the grounds and back all the while feeling the cold snow underneath his hooves. Remus seemed to be chasing after Sirius, and Peter was digging a hole into the snow.
The four Marauders spent the rest of the evening racing and running around the Hogwarts grounds. Eventually, the moon started to fade, and the sun was starting to peak up.
When they retreated to the Shrieking Shack, Remus transformed back immediately. His face was extremely pale, and the top of his forehead was pearled with sweat. Pain was evident in his face. Peter instantly transformed back into his normal human form and same with the other two boys. James undid his scarf and placed it on the bed as he fanned himself lightly. Clearly, the transformation made him heat up slightly. Sirius patted Remus on the back warmly.
“It’s over buddy,” he said with a comforting tone as the four made their way back toward Hogwarts.
Mid-way through the tunnel, James grasped the back of his rumpled hair and realized he had forgotten his Gryffindor scarf back inside the Shrieking Shack. Insisting that he would meet them in the Great Hall for breakfast later, he gave Sirius his invisibility cloak because he found it too troublesome to carry it all the way back and forth, and dashed hurriedly in the other direction of the others.
By the time James had emerged from the Whomping Willow, the sun was already blazing brightly in the east. The sky had a bit of orange and pink tint to it that would eventually turn to a clear blue. A chilly wind went by picking up some snow and making it dance around the grounds.
James wrapped the scarf around his neck comfortably to warm himself. Walking across the grounds while admiring the sun rise, James had not noticed that someone else had emerged onto the grounds as well.
The girl inhaled deeply. The cold air filled her lungs sharply, and she made her way to the bottom of the steps of the entrance. She was dressed in brown shoes, faded jeans, a thick navy jacket, and she had a white winter hat on top of her head. Her hands (which were covered with navy gloves) were in her pockets in order to keep them warm. Around her neck, she wore her Gryffindor scarf, and her face was done lightly with pink eye shadow and crimson lip stick.
As James rounded the corner, he stopped dead in his tracks at the site of her. The sound of his footsteps in the snow attracted her attention, and she glanced over to see who it was. Instinctively swinging out of site, James heard her move through the snow, her steps getting closer and closer. He glanced over next to him to see if there was anywhere he could hide behind. Unfortunately, all that was present was the castle wall and snow. The footsteps continued to come…
“Jamie?” Lily asked excitedly as she turned the corner.
To her amazement, she came face to face with a beautiful, graceful stag. Slightly taken aback, she noticed that it was peering at her intently and curiously. It seemed to take in her figure, her flushed cheeks from the cold, and her flowing auburn hair.
James could not believe what he had just done.
It would have been better if I just got caught. thought James with panic. Did she see me? Does she know? Will she find out?
To his astonished surprise, she was starting to approach him cautiously with her hand extended as she murmured under her breath about how she wouldn’t hurt him. He surprised himself by taking a slow step toward her so she could touch him. She pat the side of his cheek and around his neck gently. He lowered his head and brushed the side of his cheek against her shoulder making sure not to hit her with his antlers.
Suddenly, he heard more footsteps around the entrance Lily had come from, and someone calling out for her. She retrieved her hand from James and looked behind her shoulder, but when she glanced back, the stag was already dashing away around the corner and out of sight.
A million voices went through James Potter’s head as he made his way up the seventh floor to the Gryffindor common room. He struggled with two sides of himself that were battling it out fiercely within him.
One side was the voice of reason.
Why had he been so foolish? A thousand things could have gone wrong. She could have seen him transform, she would have known, and she would have reported it. What would he do then? Would he be expelled? It wouldn’t be long before Sirius and Peter would be discovered. Then how would Remus cope?
The other side pulled rapidly at his heart strings.
She did touch him though. Actually touched him! He also touched her! Had he ever been so close? She also would have caught him, so it was good, quick thinking to transform. She didn’t see, so there wasn’t a problem, was there?
He went through the portrait hole and sprinted up to his room, panting hard. With frustration and exasperation he whipped off his coat and scarf, flung them on the floor carelessly, and flopped on his back onto the bed.
Then, one final question that tortured him screamed out louder and harder than any of the other voices: Who is Jamie?
“WHAT HAPPENED?!” shouted Sirius looking gawk-eyed at Naomii.
James, after day-dreaming on his bed for twenty minutes, just entered the Great Hall and sat down next to Remus.
“I told you, Black,” replied Naomii with a tone of bluntness. “The word about the Christmas party got out and reached Professor McGonagall.”
“So now what are we- “
“I haven’t explained everything! Gosh! That’s the problem with you, you never let a girl finish!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” said Sirius apologetically.
“Anyways… She said that a Christmas party was a great idea, except for the alcohol part, and she also told me she was sick of Professor Slughorn always holding one. She said she’d get back to me, and two days later, she called me down to her office.”
Naomii paused for theatrical effect as she flicked back her hazel hair and adjusted her glasses.
“She said that she talked to the other Heads of House and Professor Dumbledore, and they all finally agreed that because of the huge amount of homework lately, and the fact that individual House parties leave some students out, that they would hold one big Christmas party in the Great Hall starting at 7:00 P.M. on December 13th.”
“SERIOUSLY?!” exclaimed Sirius gleefully.
“Totally serious,” answered Naomii. “Notices are being posted this weekend, and I am now officially the head organizer. It’s one galleon for entrance at the door. ”
“This is great!” chimed in Peter enthusiastically.
“Alright, so I’ll see you boys there. Tell as many people as possible while you’re at it!”
“Naomii,” Sirius started as he beamed at her brightly, “you’re amazing.”
“Well, I do try my best,” she replied and was off toward her first class.
“Did you hear that, mate?” asked Sirius as he turned to face James who was chewing on a piece of bacon. “An even bigger Christmas party! It’s too bad about the alcohol, but this is going to be HUGE!”
“Yeah, I know,” said James trying to perk up his voice to hold out the flatness in his heart.
“I think it was very nice of Professor McGonagall to do this for the students,” stated Remus as he yawned tiredly.
“So, who do you think you’re bringing?” inquired Peter.
“I honestly don’t know,” acknowledged Remus as his eye lids slid even further down both eyes. “I just want to go to bed. Maybe I’ll go alone.”
“Alone?!” remarked Sirius. “C’mon man! There are plenty of young ladies just ripe for the taking.” He motioned a women’s figure with both hands. “You can borrow someone from the list if you’d like.”
Remus shook his head instantly. “Don’t even think about it.”
James rolled his eyes as he grasped an apple. Secretly, he was hoping that none of the Marauders would ask him who he was thinking of taking. He didn’t know if he had the heart to answer the question.
Luckily, the others assumed James’ answer and didn’t bother to ask.
“What about you, Bachelor Black? Thinking about someone?” interrogated Remus sarcastically.
“Who says I’m bringing anybody? Maybe I’m not bringing anybody at all,” replied Sirius smoothly.
Peter snickered at his hypocrisy.
“Yeah, right, sure you’re not. You are eyeing her twenty-four hours, seven days a week,” sighed Remus, and James smirked slightly.
“Eyeing who?” questioned Sirius smartly.
One Winter Night by Canadian Confessional
~Chapter Six~
One Winter Night
James whipped off his invisibility cloak after he had carefully closed the door behind him. The classroom was dark, and the only light came from the moon outside. The desks inside were arranged neatly, the front table was spotless, and it seemed to be one of the most untouched rooms in the building. The large, clear, glass windows lined the outer side of the classroom, and a glass door led outside to a stone balcony where stars could easily be seen.
He strode over to one of the desks closest to the tall windows, and dropped his book bag right next to it. Jumbling out an extra piece of parchment, his quill and ink, a candle, and his Herbology text book, he took a seat. He peered up at the candle and it instantly lit up. Sighing, he glanced down at his text book, but the words seemed to blur, and he found himself shifting in his seat restlessly.
There were many reasons why James Potter studied in the Astronomy Tower: it was a quiet place where no one would disturb him, and it was a place to clear his mind and think straight. Studying there was the last place anyone would find him, and he chuckled at the thought of people thinking he was sneaking off to get drunk in Hogsmeade. The Astronomy classes were usually held at the earliest around eleven, and by then, he would already be half way to the Gryffindor common room. Sometimes, classes would be declared cancelled because of cloudy conditions, in which case James would usually stay till around midnight.
In the past, he had a tough time studying, not that he did it very often, but whenever he was in a crunch to finish or study a subject there were always distractions. One of the Marauders would persuade him to go out to prank somebody, or (such as in recent years) girls would ask him for help in order to talk to him.
He glanced up outside and stared off into nowhere.
Jamie? Who the hell is Jamie? Maybe some friend of hers. I shouldn’t jump to conclusions. Who says she’s going out with him?
He tore off his piece of blank parchment in half and grasped his quill.
Jamie Patterson, Jamie Fitzgerald, Jamie McGregor. he wrote hastily on the parchment.
It could be any one of them! pondered James with frustration.
He didn’t know any of them very well other than the fact that one of them, Jamie McGregor, was in fourth year.
Rustling the back of his hair, he leaned back, put his glasses on his piece of parchment, and closed his eyes. A black cloud came by and swallowed the moon whole, leaving James in the darkness of the classroom with only the single, lonely candle flickering wildly.
He began to wonder what he should do about the Christmas party. Maybe he would just go alone, and have a good time with the Marauders. No doubt he wouldn’t run out of supply of people to dance with, but what would that tell Lily? Would it just show her that he would use people for his entertainment and selfish purposes? Perhaps he would ask her anyway and hope for the best.
James rubbed his eyes exhaustedly, spontaneously got up, opened the glass door, and walked slowly over toward the edge of the balcony. He listened intently to the crunching sound of snow beneath his shoes. The crisp, frosty air bit at him immediately, and he shivered as he plunged his hands into the pockets of his burgundy hoodie. Light, glittering flakes of snow drifted from the dim sky onto the ground to create a blanket of white. The dark cloud that had covered the moon before moved on and the moonlight shot down upon him.
He had concluded that tonight there were too many clouds passing through the sky that Professor Sinistra had cancelled the nightly Astronomy lessons.
James exhaled heavily and watched his breath swirl gracefully in front of his face and disappear into the night. As he gazed at the moon shining brightly, he was about to drift into another day-dream about running into Lily as a stag, kissing her at the Christmas party, having her around his waist down the halls, telling her how he never wanted their time together to end…
Click.
James instinctively whipped around toward the door. The candle inside went out suddenly, and James was stuck squinting at who had entered the room. His glasses were still on his desk, and his wand was buried underneath a dozen notes and his text books in his book bag.
Cautiously stepping forward toward the glass door leading into the Astronomy room, he peered around quietly, his heart beating fast. He was hoping beyond belief that it wasn’t Severus Snape trying to get another good beating on him again. He abruptly remembered he still had not repaid the favour.
“Hello?” asked James hesitantly. “Anybody there?”
He heard a small scuffle, and saw a small shoe appear from within the shadows followed by a black skirt, brown book bag, white shirt, blue and bronze tie, black robes, dark violet hair, and a pair of chocolate brown eyes.
“Oh,” started Audrey Filendale. “I- I’m terribly sorry for disturbing you and I, uh, will just, er…go right now then.” She turned around quickly and started to dash away from him.
“Wait!” yelled James after her, but she had already zoomed out the door.
Racing dangerously down a flight of stairs with his near-sighted eyes, he finally caught glimpse of a pair of robes. He skipped some steps as he finally got closer to her and finally grasped her by the shoulder at the bottom of the second flight of stairs. She turned around swiftly and her floppy half-bangs went casually over her dark cocoa coloured eyes, and he observed that her face was a scarlet colour as she panted rapidly.
“It’s Audrey, right?” inquired James as he caught his breath and extended his hand. “I’m- “
“James Potter. I know,” finished Audrey.
She was clearly nervous.
“Listen, I didn’t know you had a class- “
“I didn’t,” she cut him off again. “I was just going up there to star-gaze a bit and clear my head.”
“Well, you can if you want. I wasn’t getting much work done anyway, and- “
“Oh, no! Just ignore me! I didn’t mean to disturb you, and I’m really sorry, you were there first, and well, I can do it another time, it’s not like I have to go up there now and- “
“Whoa, slow down, it’s OK,” said James kindly. “How about this: We can both star-gaze, or study, up there, it’s really no problem.”
“Are you sure? I mean I don’t want to intrude on anything,” she asked with a tone of disbelief.
“Nah, it’s really nothing. C’mon.”
After they had made their way to the Astronomy Tower, James could tell Audrey was still quite nervous being there with him. She took a seat almost the furthest from his and seemed to be trying to make as little noise as possible as she went through her books and notes. He re-lighted his candle and (putting on his glasses) resumed peering down at his parchment once more.
The presence of her seemed to take James’ mind off of Lily for the time being, and he was actually taking notes on his parchment as he read thoroughly through his Herbology text.
When he looked up later, he noticed that Audrey was no longer sitting in her seat. She had somehow quietly crept across the room, opened the glass door and stepped outside onto the balcony. He tore his attention away from his textbook and walked with interest next to Audrey. As soon as he stood by her, she glanced at him with an expression of surprise. He didn’t see it though, he was glancing up at the moon admiring its mysterious beauty and listening to the silence that the snowy atmosphere had created. She observed with fondness at his muscular, tall, handsome figure, and his rumpled jet black hair that made him appear as if he had just got off his broomstick after a Quidditch game.
She shivered suddenly, and James glanced down at her. Without another thought, he slipped off his hoodie and hung it around her shoulders gently. Audrey blushed a noticeable crimson as she pulled it on.
“Thanks,” she said weakly.
“You’re welcome,” he replied.
The awkward silence was slowly killing James as he gazed up at the moon once again. He always had something to say.
“So, you’re a fourth year, eh?” inquired James suddenly, making Audrey peer up at him abruptly.
“Yeah.”
“How has your year been so far?”
“It’s been pretty good, except for the huge homework load they’ve been giving out lately.”
“Tell me about it,” said James as he leaned on the edge of the tower. “I didn’t think homework was considered a Christmas present.”
Audrey giggled shyly. “Well, I’ll bet you have no trouble with it.”
James shrugged casually. “Sometimes, but that’s rare, only in the subjects I don’t really enjoy like Defence Against the Dark Arts.”
She smiled.
“How about you?” asked James with a friendly tone to his voice.
“I really like Astronomy, but, well, I have to admit my Transfiguration is horrible. I really don’t understand it, and it drives me insane.” Her smile from before had vanished. “My parents were really good at it, and they understand that I don’t get it, but I still feel horrible about being the odd ball in the gene pool.”
James continued to listen.
“My brother John says that it’s OK, if I’m not good at it because no one expects you to be good at everything.” Her eyes started to water up at the sides. “But then sometimes they don’t understand why I can’t do a lot of other things. The truth is I’m not really good at anything. I know they want me to become an Auror, or a member of the Ministry or something they call respectable because they love me, but honestly, I don’t want to be. They constantly bring it up over and over again to motivate me or something, and I try, but the fact is I’m not that smart or clever.” She sobbed. “The worst part is I don’t have the heart to tell them that.” She buried her face into her hands and turned away from him, embarrassed at the fact she was crying and telling her frustration to James Potter.
She wiped her eyes with the edge of his hoodie, trying desperately to break into a smile but failed. “This is crazy, and really stupid of me. I don’t know why I’m saying this to you, you of all people. I don’t even know you! You probably think I’m crazy or insane, or something. I’m so stupid, and dumb I don’t think I’ll ever get- “
Then suddenly, he gently grasped her by the shoulder and pulled her into him. Her tears soaked into his shirt and tie, and he put his chin on top of her head.
“It’s OK,” he said to her comfortingly. “It’s OK.”
When James had made it back to the common room that night, he still didn’t know where the acts of gallantry, such as lending her his hoodie, and comforting her as she cried, came from. For one thing, he had never felt so close, emotionally, to a girl before, with the exception of Lily. Then again, he had never met someone quite like Audrey. She was shy, a characteristic that he had rarely, if ever, ran into, and she wasn’t like most brainless girls that gawked and flirted with him endlessly. On the contrary, he felt that there was a flaming desire inside her to prove something and also she seemed to possess great perseverance.
That night, after he had held her for several minutes on the snow littered balcony, she finally pulled away and muttered that she should get back. By then, James knew that it was definitely past curfew, and he offered to walk her back to the Ravenclaw common room underneath the invisibility cloak so she wouldn’t get caught. Audrey agreed somewhat reluctantly, and they both made their way clumsily to the west end of the castle. Once there, she thanked him timidly and started to pull of his hoodie to give back to him, when he told her, “Don’t worry about it, you can give it back to me whenever. It’s good for star-gazing on winter nights anyway.”
Even now, as he sat slightly soaked with snow in front of the common room fire, he had no idea where that comment had come from. Then, he began to realize a lot of things he had said in front of Audrey, he had never said except to the people he actually cared about. Was he having feelings for someone he barely knew?
James shook his head to clear his mind.
He concluded that he couldn’t have feelings for her and that the sudden emotion was from sympathy, because he had never known what it was like to try so hard, to have so much pressure on him, and still not succeed. He had been the exact opposite his whole life. His talent had sky-rocketed his popularity, grades and self-esteem to reach the point that it turned into pure cockiness.
As he watched the flames dance around the fireplace, cracking and sparking every so often, a guilty thought came into his mind: Am I abusing my talent?
It seemed very odd to James, for he had never questioned it before. He always thought of himself as the intelligent individual that held no boundaries, but was he wasting his talent to make a fool of other people? What would he have become if he wasn’t talented? Would he be the one being hexed/pranked by others? Would he be struggling, tagging along talented people to hide behind, to defend himself? Or would he try as hard as he could at everything he undertook, like Audrey?
Why am I even thinking about this? wondered James to himself, but subconsciously he already knew the answer: You’re thinking about it because you’re taking your talent for granted, and you know it.
Up and Down by Canadian Confessional
~Chapter Seven~
Up and Down
James awoke on Saturday morning. His head drifted heavily in between dreaming and consciousness as he struggled to keep his eyes open. The events of the previous night started to mix together with other things and then suddenly, they were all silenced by one thought: Detention with McGonagall.
Immediately springing his eyes wide open at this thought, he pulled back his covers and jumped to dress himself. Glancing over at Sirius’s bed, he noticed that it was vacant. Peter was still snoring loudly, and Remus seemed to be catching up on some much needed sleep. Digging through his bed-side table while pulling on a grey sock, he pulled out a small mirror and closed the drawer soundlessly. On his way out, James flicked his wand to silence Peter’s snoring and headed down the stairs while fixing his scarlet tie.
Not surprisingly, the common room was already quite full of students, which all seemed to carry noticeable bags under their eyes. James assumed that they were all cramming in on the huge homework load assigned for this weekend before they headed to Hogsmeade. He guessed that the only thing keeping them going (other than espressos) was the upcoming Christmas party and the desperately needed Christmas break. Peering around the room, he finally spotted Sirius with his arms crossed, gazing into the burning flames in the fireplace. James tactfully avoided a pile of books, and a group of whining students as he made his way toward the fireplace.
“Thanks for waiting, Padfoot,” greeted James as he came up next to Sirius.
Sirius turned to him with a distinct frown placed firmly across his face.
“Where have you been?” he asked rather curiously.
“Studying, just like everybody else,” replied James lightly as if he were expecting the question.
“You sure you haven’t been up to anything else that you want to tell me about?”
James raised an eyebrow skeptically, unsure about Sirius’s intonation. “Yes, I’m sure.”
“OK, just making sure you aren’t doing gallant Death Eater acts,” stated Sirius changing dramatically from an unsure expression to a joking one.
James punched him in the arm. “No thanks to you.”
By the time both of them made their way to Professor McGonagall’s office on the first floor, it was already quarter past ten. When they knocked on her door, she held a displeased expression at their tardiness.
“I said ten sharp, boys,” stated Professor McGonagall edgily.
“Sorry Professor, will you ever forgive us?” they asked at the same time with puppy dog eyes in an attempt to appear lovable and angel-like.
She sighed.
“Alright, since the two of you are coming back tomorrow, you have a choice. One of you cleans today, and the other writes lines. It will reverse tomorrow.”
“Ooh! I call cleaning!” announced James while putting up his hand like an eager student answering a teacher’s question.
“Damnit!” cursed Sirius playfully. “I wanted that!”
“Mr. Black! Language!”
“Sorry Professor,” he said apologetically.
“Since you are so eager to clean, Mr. Potter, proceed to the Trophy Room where you will clean with this.” She produced a bucket full of soap and a sponge.
“By hand?!” yelped James over exaggeratedly.
Sirius chuckled. “Tough luck, Prongs.”
“And, Mr. Black, you will write lines with this.” She flicked her wand again and gave him an extremely short piece of chalk.
“I can’t write with this!” whined Sirius as James had a chance to laugh.
“You get these back after you are finished today,” stated Professor McGonagall as she took James’s and Sirius’s wands.
They both groaned and headed to their respective places.
Cleaning the Trophy Room was something James had done so many times he felt that Filch, the caretaker, didn’t need to. He had to admit that he didn’t mind at all cleaning the Trophy Room. Sometimes he would stare interestedly at the names of previous House Cup and Quidditch Cup winners.
James recalled fondly how last year the Quidditch Cup was awarded to Gryffindor. He stared at it admiringly and then glanced at his own name etched in gold under the word “Chaser”. Gazing into space wistfully, he thought about the match he had had a few days before running into Lily in the last week of October. It was a tight one against Slytherin but luckily Jennifer Wood, the somewhat Quidditch obsessed captain, had caught the snitch just in time to close out the match.
James dipped the sponge in the bucket full of soapy water to rinse it out, and he started to scrub the gold Quidditch Cup when suddenly, something in his pocket began to vibrate. Throwing the sponge over his shoulder without looking, it landed directly into the bucket as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the mirror he had grasped from his bed-side drawer previously. On it, he saw Sirius resting against a black chalk board.
“What’s up, Prongs?” asked Sirius with a smirk. “Professor McGonagall has left to do some errands, she said she’d be back to ‘watch me’ soon.”
“Not much, I’m just cleaning, oh, but wait! Whose name is that?!” James turned the face of the mirror to his name engraved on the Quidditch Cup last year in order to brag about his abilities on the field.
Sirius rolled his eyes with a smirk. “Oh, Prongs, you bore me.”
James opened the glass door of one of the trophy cases, grasped the moldy sponge again, and placed the mirror neatly on a shelf so he could clean and talk to Sirius at the same time.
“Shouldn’t you be writing with that tiny piece of chalk?” he asked as he wiped off a dusty trophy.
“Yeah, but I’m taking a break.”
“A break?”
“I need to relax my wrists. Don’t want them to catch fire,” said Sirius as he flopped his limp wrists around jokingly.
“Rrrrright.”
“Sucks we aren’t in Hogsmeade right now, eh?”
“Yeah, but I told Moony and Wormtail before to bring us back some butterbeer.”
“Good thinking, I think I’ll need one after this.” Sirius showed James his white, chalk covered hands.
James raised an eyebrow comically at the mirror as he finished wiping off a silver trophy.
“So, tell me, who are you going to ask to the Christmas party?” asked Sirius as he squinted oddly at a chalk eraser near him.
“What are you doing?” asked James un-amused as he peered at Sirius waving his hands awkwardly in the direction of the chalk eraser.
“I’m practicing my non-verbal spells!” retorted Sirius slightly offended at James asking such a “dumb” question.
“You can’t do non-verbal spells without your wand, genius,” replied James smartly as he wiped a small, brass trophy.
“If Moony can do it, so can I,” stated Sirius confidently as he shook his dark hair out of his pale eyes.
James rolled his eyes and plunged his yellow sponge (which now possessed a brownish tinge) into the scum filled water.
“So tell me mate, who are you bringing, honestly?” questioned Sirius again, his tone seemingly more interested this time around.
“Tsk, tsk, Padfoot, do you even have to ask?” responded James confidently and instantly.
He realized he had developed a habit for blurting things out without thinking when they were about Lily. This time around, he had said smoothly that he was going to ask Lily, but after he had said it, the scene with Lily meeting some guy named ”Jamie” early in the morning came stabbing back to his brain causing him to re-think his disposition on asking her to the party.
“How do you think I should ask her though?” continued James as he ruffled the back of his hair, desperately trying to conceal the disappointment at the thought of Lily going out with somebody other than him.
Luckily for him, Sirius seemed too caught up in what looked like relief from James’s answer to notice any change of mood from his end.
“What about the ‘I’ve-changed-take-me-I’m-cute’ routine?” offered Sirius sarcastically in a helpful tone.
“No, I think I’ll try the ‘I’m-a-sad-heart-broken-sap-so-please-go-out-with-me-so-I-don’t-die-of-heartache’ method.”
Sirius nodded agreeably. “Wow, you’re smooth.”
“You really think so?”
Suddenly, there was the noise of a door opening.
“Got to go! Talk to you later,” said Sirius quickly, and he vanished, leaving the mirror blank.
James shoved it into his back pocket and continued to clean the rest of the musty trophies while at the same time keeping the idea of “Lily” out of his mind. As the silence of the room set in once again, the one other thought he managed to keep out of his mind this morning came bulging back in as a replacement.
He wandered back to last night where he contemplated his thoughts for an hour before heading to bed. He seemed to struggle with the concept of “talent”, and no matter what reasoning he tried to persuade himself to forget it, it didn’t work.
Alright, so what if I’m taking my talent for granted? It’s not being wasted! I’ve had some really great fun with it! exclaimed his mischievous devil side forcefully.
Fine, it’s OK to have fun every so often, but shouldn’t you still be doing something a bit more productive? Like helping other people with your talent? Hmm? argued his considerate angel side calmly.
Oh, just shut up, spat the mischief side. Both sides of his mind stopped as James knocked on Professor McGonagall’s door with dirt-filled bucket and rotting sponge in tow.
She opened her door, made the bucket and sponge disappear with a simple flick of her wand, gave James back his wand, and told him that Sirius had finished earlier and had already left.
“Thanks, Professor,” said James appreciatively as he turned to leave.
“See you tomorrow, Mr. Potter.” And she closed the door quietly behind her with a slight smile.
He strolled down a corridor on the third floor where there were many windows in succession. Beams of bright sunshine shot through them revealing bits of dust particles dancing through the air. There was barely anybody in the hall because the majority were visiting Hogsmeade. Only the first and second years that were not eligible to go were left behind.
James glanced through the windows to catch site of the snow covered grounds outside sparkling and glittering vibrantly. Gazing at the soft blue and white colours filling the sky he exhaled gently at the beauty before him.
Turning a corner briskly, he glanced down the hall to notice a familiar dark-violet haired girl. He instinctively quickened his pace until he was walking right beside her. She gaped at him, and her pace slowed noticeably.
“Hey,” he greeted with a friendly tone.
“James,” she said with a familiar shyness. “Hi.”
“I’m surprised you’re not in Hogsmeade.”
“Well, I didn’t feel like it because it’s kind of cold outside, and a lot of my friends are going with their new boyfriends, so I didn’t want to be in the way of anything,” she blurted. Her tone was still extremely fast. “Besides, there isn’t really too much that interests me over there.”
“Oh, yeah?” replied James casually as he nodded.
He knew that she wanted to go but had no one to go with.
“Why aren’t you at Hogsmeade?” asked Audrey.
Her cheeks were now a bright crimson colour.
“I got detention with Professor McGonagall for doubling the size of some people’s heads.”
She giggled sweetly. “That’s horribly mean, but funny at the same time.”
James stopped, and so did Audrey. He peered around to make sure no one else was in ear shot and looked at her.
“Listen,” he started, “I was wondering since you said you are having a hard time with Transfiguration if maybe you’d like me to help you, sort of tutor, I guess.”
The words seemed to spill out of his mouth, and he had no idea where they had come from.
Her mouth opened slightly in astonishment, and it was quite a bit of time before she responded with, “Yes! I’d love to! Well, of course if that isn’t too much trouble or anything.”
James smiled. “No trouble at all.”
She beamed at him appreciatively.
“How does 6:00 PM in the Astronomy Tower on Monday and Wednesday sound?” he inquired while starting to walk again.
“It sounds great!” she agreed joyfully as she followed him.
“I guess I’ll see you there, then,” he replied and waved “bye” to her as he turned the next corner.
The angel on his shoulder shined brightly and triumphantly.
That’s how you are supposed to use your talent, it said smartly.
James rumpled his hair. Amazingly, volunteering to help Audrey felt good. All the guilt he had about making a fool of defenseless students in the past and “abusing” his talent vanished immediately. He felt like he had another stride in his step and couldn’t quite pry off the smile he wore into the common room.
He didn’t even plan to ask her until the moment he talked to her, but once he did, the words just came out. Audrey was so different from what James was accustomed to, that she seemed to set off a different part of him; a part that was not conceited and self-centered.
When James went up to his dormitory, Sirius was already practicing non-verbal spells (with a wand this time around) by trying to re-organize a pile of Peter’s clothing.
“Decided to stick to the wand this time, eh?” questioned James teasingly as he walked in with a huge smile plastered on his face.
“Shut-up, Prongs,” answered Sirius jokingly. He gave James an odd face. “Why are you smirking like that?”
“No reason.”
He was grinning uncontrollably.
“Prongs? Did Evans kiss you or something?” questioned Sirius with a quizzical expression pasted on his face.
After a bit of an interrogation session that led Sirius nowhere, the two of them worked on what they called “The Marauder’s Map”. It was a map the Marauders were designing to show all passageways through Hogwarts, and it also was suppose to indicate where each and every person at Hogwarts was present. The main purpose of the map though was to avoid being caught in the halls late at night by Filch or another teacher.
“What would happen if we tried this?” inquired James as he flicked his wand at the piece of parchment they were working on.
Nothing happened, and Sirius sighed sarcastically at James’s failed attempt.
“I know!” announced James suddenly. “Try this!”
He waved his wand once again and again nothing appeared.
“Good job, Prongs,” stated Sirius dully at another failed try.
“I don’t see you trying anything better.”
“Well, at least I’m not doing- “ Sirius stopped suddenly.
“What?” asked James with an anticipating expression.
“Lo- Look at the map,” stammered Sirius, and James peered down at it.
On the piece of parchment (where there was a somewhat rough diagram of Hogwarts) there appeared a few tiny dots that seemed to be moving from Hogsmeade back to the castle.
“Is that- ?” implied Sirius curiously.
“It is!” shouted James in excitement as he leapt to his feet. “They are the people returning from Hogsmeade!”
“W- Where do you think you’re going?” questioned Sirius with surprise as James started to head out the door.
“I’m going to ask Evans to the Christmas Party,” he answered with a smirk and zoomed down the stairs, skipping steps as he went down to the main entrance.
When James had reached the entrance, he was greeted by rosy cheeked, winter bundled, chilly looking students. They all seemed to be carrying back a souvenir from Hogsmeade such as a couple butterbeers or an interesting trinket from Zonko’s Joke Shop.
James had made up his mind that he was going to ask Lily. What harm could it do? If she said ‘no’, then at least he wouldn’t be left wondering what would happen if he had asked her.
James quickly avoided a young couple holding hands lovingly as he made his way passed all the people coming in from the winter’s cold. After he abruptly bumped into a hostile group of third year boys, he finally caught site of a familiar red head in company with a chestnut haired girl, and he immediately slowed his pace and slipped behind a group of tall guys.
“Lily,” started the girl next to her, “that was very cruel of you, picking on him like that.”
“Well, what do you expect? I have to keep my image,” Lily replied matter-of-factly.
Picking on somebody? Evans, you hypocrite. thought James instantly as he continued to eavesdrop intently on the two’s conversation.
“I still can’t believe you keep teasing him about playing Quidditch! You know he loves the game!” said the girl informatively as her dark eyes surveyed Lily.
“Well, it’s so easy to tease him about it!” answered Lily while grinning.
“He really likes you,” giggled the girl with a smile.
“You really think so?” asked Lily turning toward her friend.
Her cheeks were turning a soft crimson colour.
“Well, it’s extremely obvious, plus, I think everybody knows it, especially since you flirt with him endlessly. Everyone I’ve talked to is surprised you haven’t made a move yet. I’m telling you, you don’t need to be so stressed out about him! You two are just SO perfect together!” stated the girl, and she crossed her arms triumphantly.
“Oh, Jamie, you’re truly ridiculous!”
James’s heart skipped a beat.
Jamie. Her name is Jamie! One of Lily’s friends is named Jamie! It wasn’t a guy after all! She was just meeting a friend that morning to talk! Wait a minute. Who is Evans talking about though? She did talk about flirting, picking on somebody, and Quidditch! She knows I love Quidditch, and she teases me all the time about it!…She does that to… She couldn’t possibly be talking about…me?
Suddenly, the crowd of third years James was hiding behind walked away, leaving him wide open to Lily’s eyes. Her brows furrowed instinctively, and she plunged her hand into her coat pocket to clutch her wand tightly.
Recollecting himself hastily, James walked over confidently toward Lily and Jamie. Lily rolled her eyes and sighed.
“What is it this time, Potter?” questioned Lily rather bluntly. “Oh, wait, let me guess. Let’s see, you’re here to ask me to Professor McGonagall’s Christmas party?”
James’s grin remained intact, amazingly enough.
“You bet. So, what do you say, Evans? Will you go with me?”
There was a pause from Lily’s side where she smirked with extreme satisfaction.
“No, and please, don’t beg.”
With that, she whipped her hair to the side, walked around James’s disappointed expression with Jamie, and exhaled with deep triumph.
A Sneak into the Night by Canadian Confessional
~Chapter Eight~
A Sneak into the Night
“This is much better,” commented James encouragingly as he edited Audrey’s essay she had written.
It was already the second week of December, on a Monday. Audrey and James had already had their “private” lessons in the Astronomy Tower six times, and this was their seventh. The first time that Audrey had shyly come up and politely knocked on the Astronomy Tower door, James was uneasy. He didn’t know what it was, but she made him just as skittish as she.
For God’s sake! I’m a sixth year already, and I’m in Gryffindor! Why the hell am I nervous?! James constantly thought to himself through the first session where he looked through Audrey’s poorly written Transfiguration essay on transforming still objects to living ones and back again.
Fortunately for the both of them, as the lessons went on they began to have tiny bits of small talk, which developed into full-length conversations about life, love, dreams, reality, and much more that neither would ever talk about in front of any other person.
James clearly remembered one conversation where he had asked her somewhat sheepishly why her hair was a dark violet colour.
“My hair?” asked Audrey with a hint of embarrassment as crimson flooded into both of her cheeks.
“Well, I was just wondering, it’s very- er- interesting,” said James as he smiled comfortingly at her.
She covered her face momentarily and laughed. “Last summer, my older sister was trying out spells because she just turned seventeen, and she became rather restless with the lack of things to do magic on. I told her rather stupidly that I wanted to change my hair colour from the normal, boring, dark brown it always was to something with a bit of flair.”
“Uh-huh,” James nodded as he listened with amusement.
“You’re going to laugh,” Audrey stated immediately as she smiled at his gratified expression.
“I’m not!” retorted James playfully.
“Promise?” she asked innocently as she eyed him questioningly.
“I promise.”
“Fine,” started Audrey again. “I told her not to do anything rash and asked for it to be very lightly tinted red. It ended up the colour of a yellow school bus.”
James strongly suppressed a laugh but couldn’t help but grin ear-to-ear.
“Then, she tried to fix it, but it turned a pasty green. Finally, she changed it to this and for some reason it won’t change to any other colour. No one has any idea why.”
James bit his bottom lip as Audrey glanced at him.
“Fine, go ahead and laugh,” said Audrey with a smile, but James just kept his grin.
“I promised I wouldn’t laugh, and I won’t. That story, I have to admit, is quite amusing though,” replied James as he bit into his bottom lip even harder.
Audrey covered her face with both hands as she erupted into giggling fits not only from the hilarity of her own story, but also in gratitude of his subtle kindness.
The two had no idea the reason they could easily share so much with each other, but the both of them never questioned it. They would never know that because they didn’t really “know” each other, they could converse freely about what was on each of their minds.
Amazingly enough, the homework load was still non-stop for every student at Hogwarts. The professors seemed to be cramming in every single bit of information that each student could handle before the winter break. No one had time to suspect where James Potter or Audrey Filendale went, and from the way they acted to each other in the halls (also known as basically not acknowledging each other at all) no one in their right mind would guess that they were having tutoring/study lessons together.
James had finished scanning over her essay and looked up at her expecting face.
“It’s pretty good,” he announced with a grin, and her inquiring face turned into an expression of joyful relief.
He immediately went into places where she needed to make a stronger statement, or get her point across better. James also explained to her various spells or definitions she didn’t understand, and where she should perhaps elaborate a certain term. She listened intently, and after he had finished explaining, she grasped her quill instinctively to correct it in front of him as fast as possible.
As Audrey scribbled away at her essay, James peered up to see the balcony fully covered with a thick sheet of soft, white snow. The sky was covered with dark clouds, and the moon seemed to be a minuscule, pasty blotch in the black night. Inside the classroom there were lit many candles to warm the room and to provide sufficient lighting.
“I hope this is OK,” Audrey told James as she handed him the paper.
He instantly tore his attention away from the winter wonderland outside and grasped the piece of parchment to browse over it.
Transforming a living animal’s body part into something else is rather difficult and complex, read James in his head as he glanced over line four.
So immersed in spotting errors in the essay, James had not noticed Audrey shift in her seat uncomfortably and clear her throat.
After reading through the essay a second time minutes later, he peered up at her and stated, “I think this is really good. I’m sure Professor McGonagall will love- “
“Why do you like Lily Evans?” asked Audrey so suddenly that James’s eyes widened immediately.
There was a slight hesitant pause from James’s side where he didn’t know what to say.
“I- I’m sorry,” Audrey apologized quickly as she looked away from his astonished expression. “I didn’t mean to touch on a sensitive subject for you.”
James rumpled the back of his hair and leaned back on his chair while setting the essay down on the desk. “I like Lily Evans because…” he trailed off, because he had no idea what to say.
The scene with Lily rejecting him to go to the Christmas party came back, poking his brain tauntingly.
“I just- “ he began, but was caught off almost immediately.
“You don’t think, well…” Audrey hesitated at first, and it was overly obvious that she was being cautious on what to say next. “Do you ever think you like her just because of her appearance?”
The question seemed so odd to James. He had never thought of it himself.
“I don’t think so,” James replied with a weak smile. “There are other pretty girls in this school, and if I liked girls for their looks I would have dated more of them by this time and forgot about Lily.”
“I know, but do you ever feel like maybe you like her because everybody thinks she is one of the prettiest?”
James shrugged with a sigh, “I’d tell you Audrey, but I really have no idea.”
It was evident Audrey wanted to ask more questions, but she felt that it was too touchy a subject to talk a lot about let alone pursue further with James. She smiled back kindly and then turned her attention back to her essay.
“You think it’s good?” she inquired, changing the subject rather abruptly.
Slightly relieved, James answered, “I bet Professor McGonagall will love it.”
She exhaled happily.
“This is really good work,” praised James as he played around with the back of his hair. “Transfiguration mid-terms will be a breeze for you.”
“Well, I wouldn’t go that far,” chuckled Audrey as she tucked the essay back into her bag as she packed up.
Just before they left, James made sure not a trace of them were left behind in the classroom, and he blew out all the candles with a simple flick of his wand. Walking down the many flights of stairs, the two of them casually talked about odd/funny subjects (such as why men didn’t shave their legs, and how women don’t always mean what they say) until they eventually and inevitably had to part.
“Where are you going?” asked Sirius as James was heading out of the common room.
James wheeled around on his heel and smirked at Sirius innocently.
It was Tuesday night, and James was dressed in his coat and scarf, invisibility cloak in hand, and wand tucked in at the back of his jeans. He was out to do a certain “errand” that he didn’t want the other Marauders to know about, so he made sure that none of them were in the common room. Unfortunately, he didn’t double check very carefully, for Sirius had caught him just as he was about to slip out of the portrait hole.
Damn. Should have worn the cloak. James thought, with regret at his stupidity.
“Somewhere,” answered James mischievously, grin still intact. “What about you?”
“Don’t play stupid with me, Prongs,” stated Sirius bluntly. “You’re up to something, and I want in.”
“Well,” started James, “how could you want ‘in’ on something, if there is nothing to be ‘in’ on?”
“Don’t you have a massive pile of homework to do?” inquired Sirius rather suspiciously as he raised one eyebrow at him.
James shrugged as he replied, “All ready finished it.”
Sirius’ mouth opened for half a second and then closed as fast as it opened. “You’re lying.”
“Check it yourself if you want, you’ll only find it handily done and ready to hand-in in my book bag.”
For a moment, Sirius and James stared at each other without a word. Sirius glared at James as if he were boring a hole into him while James replied by smiling teasingly. Finally, Sirius hastily raced up to their dormitory to check if James was telling the truth, and James dashed out of the portrait hole.
By the time Sirius would get down, he would already be long gone.
Turning a corner toward the third floor, James chuckled to himself about his homework. Oddly enough, because of the sessions with Audrey, he seemed to gain an organizational skill overnight. He used to cram for hours late at night on homework, but now he was doing it ahead so he could make space for other things on his agenda such as his lessons with Audrey.
As James reached the third floor, he threw the invisibility cloak over himself (first making sure no one was in site) and headed over toward a statue of a humpbacked, one-eyed witch. Once in front of the haggard, stone statue, James whispered, “Dissendium.” After, he lightly tapped the witch’s back with his wand, and the hump cracked open to reveal a winding stone slide.
Glancing around hastily, James jumped in and slid through the dark passageways until he came to a thud on the cold floor in the cellar of Honeydukes. Recollecting himself quickly, James peeked out from under the cellar to see if anybody was present. One of the owners seemed to be showing two people quite proudly a section of acid pops. James soundlessly crept out of the cellar, waited impatiently for the couple to leave, and when they did, he followed them out without the faintest trace.
James raced down to High Street where he spotted a small, cozy, dimly lit pub; The Three Broomsticks. Inside was Madam Rosmerta, who seemed to be cleaning up for the night as she wiped a few glasses with a white cloth. Throwing off his invisibility cloak and jamming it into his pocket, he entered to see Madam Rosmerta look up at him somewhat surprised.
“James?” she asked slightly stunned. “Is that you?”
James replied with a smile as he walked over to the edge of the bar counter.
“Good Heavens!” she cried. “What are you doing here, boy?”
“I’ve come to get a few butterbeers, to go,” answered James before ruffling the back of his hair.
“A bit late at night for a Christmas celebration isn’t it?” she asked as she bent down behind the counter to bring up four butterbeers.
“It’s not for tonight, and it’s a special exception,” he explained as Madam Rosmerta put the four butterbeers into a small box.
“'A special exception’, eh?” she questioned with amusement as James handed her some galleons.
He thanked her for her kindness and was about to leave with the case of four butterbeers when he turned to face Madam Rosmerta questioningly.
“Don’t worry your head off,” she acknowledged. “I won’t tell a soul.”
After James had left The Three Broomsticks, he threw on his invisibility cloak once again and headed hastily toward the Shrieking Shack. Once there, he entered narrowly through a small crack in the boards and slipped through the secret passageway that led to the Whomping Willow on the Hogwarts grounds. He ran through the dark passageway until he saw a bit of moonlight on the other side, and he touched the knot at the bottom of the tree to paralyze it temporarily. Tightening his grip on the case of butterbeers, James was about to head inside the entrance, when suddenly he saw Hagrid’s door open and someone step out. Pausing instantly, his curiosity got the better of him, and he found himself eavesdropping.
“Hagird,” reassured the person, who was a girl, “I’m sure Fang is fine. Don’t go looking for him now, it’s kind of late and could be dangerous.”
“But the cold…” Hagrid trailed off because he had to blow his large nose on what appeared to be an already tear drenched handkerchief.
“I know it’s cold, but I’m sure he will be fine. Trust me! He has a large coat of fur and amazing instincts. He should be fine in the forest for at least tonight,” replied the red-head. “Besides, Fang’s strong.”
“I- I know,” sobbed Hagrid worriedly. “I jus' wan' ter make sure he’s alrigh' is all.”
Lily patted Hagrid’s massive arm comfortingly. “Just get some sleep Hagrid. You’ll feel much better in the morning.”
Hagrid pulled her into a tight hug, said goodbye, and closed the door.
Lily walked until she was a fair distance from Hagrid’s hut and then exhaled sharply.
James glanced at her from the side of Hagrid’s hut, for he didn’t dare get too close. He had already transported the box of butterbeers under his bed with a spell from his wand, and the only thing keeping him there was Lily Evans.
Just leave Prongs, said one side of James’ head, but for some reason he stayed glued to the spot with his eyes transfixed on Lily.
He remained watching as she (after a few contemplating minutes) pushed back her crimson hair, turned around to face the Forbidden Forest, and started to trudge toward it.
Oh, shit. Evans, don’t do what I think you’re doing, thought James instantly. You said yourself it is too late to go inside the forest!
Unfortunately, to James’s dismay, Lily didn’t seem to listen to her own words of reason, and she pushed aside a branch of pine needles with her thick, wool mittens as she disappeared into the darkness of the woods.
Don't Try to Be a Hero by Canadian Confessional
~Chapter Nine~
Don’t Try to Be a Hero
Rushing through the woods, James heard the familiar crunch of snow beneath his feet. He had been in the Forbidden Forest a couple of times, but it was rare. The main reason was because the forest was purely perilous. Many beings lived in it, and many of them were dangerous.
Lily, Lily, Lily, Lily! Why? Why are you doing this? Don’t do this. thought James to himself feverishly as he felt a rush of emotion for her safety.
Lily had traveled from the edge of the woods toward the middle in a short period of time. Her strides were wide, and her steps were quick. She didn’t trip on any large roots and tactfully walked around them as if they weren’t there unlike James who had stumbled on a few protruding roots, but had not fallen down yet. The creaking trees swayed in the night, but Lily seemed unfazed as she brushed passed a large, bare, claw-like branch.
She had called out softly for Fang’s name in the darkness and in between the shadow-like trees. Her wand was lit, but it was obvious that she had dimmed it slightly so as not to attract anyone or anything.
James followed with his invisibility cloak on from a slight distance so he wouldn’t be heard.
“Fang?” questioned Lily as she glanced into the never ending thicket of wood all around her.
There was a silence for a few moments, and then without warning, a group of black crows came rushing by crying out as they went past.
James almost jumped two feet in the air while having a heart attack, while Lily remained calm and collective as she looked at them pass overhead and then vanish into the dark.
Lily and James both exhaled at the same time without knowing it, though one was an exhale of disappointment and the other of anxiety.
Lily peered around her once again and continued even further into the woods, her wand still dimly lit. James ever so reluctantly followed her still from a distance.
You can’t find Fang, Evans, just go back. Please just go back. pleaded James in his mind as he noticed Lily stop in a small clearing.
“Fang? Fang?” called Lily softly to all angles of the clearing.
Suddenly, there was a rustle in a nearby berry bush, and a large, slobbery boarhound came racing toward Lily from behind it. Her emerald eyes brightened immediately as the black dog pounced on top of her, licking her face happily.
“OK, OK,” said Lily cheerfully as she pushed Fang off of her and heaved herself off the snow. “Let’s go back.”
The dog seemed to nod in agreement as she retraced her footprints through the glittering snow.
James sighed with relief as he watched Lily talk to Fang comfortingly through the breaks in some trees. He was unaware that something or someone was following Fang and Lily closely and silently.
“You know,” started Lily as she patted Fang, “Hagrid’s been worried sick over you. He says he can’t even eat properly. See how much you make him worry when you get lost in this-“
She stopped suddenly and glanced behind her. Instinctively, Lily dimmed her wand even more as she listened intently.
At first, there was not a single sound, except for the soft noise of crunching beneath Lily’s feet as she adjusted her weight in her shoes. Then, something whisked past Lily’s ear and she felt it brush against her cheek. Immediately looking at what just missed her, she saw an arrow puncture a tree. With an expression of horror, she instinctively faced forward where many arrows came flying at her.
“Protego!” she yelled, and the arrows bounced off the shield produced from her wand.
Lily motioned Fang to keep going as she sent another spell behind her to make the arrows burst into flames.
It was like James’s senses had awakened from some dormant sleep as he followed her hurriedly while grasping his wand from the back of his jeans and casting some spells to deflect the arrows. He saw her handily defend herself (he knew that she could have done so without his help) and make sure her and Fang were following the right trail.
Suddenly, Fang whimpered and halted to a stop.
“C’mon, Fang!” Lily hissed as she tried to urge Fang forward with no luck. “This isn’t a time to be- “
She stopped mid-word to peer around her. Surrounding her and Fang in a circle were approximately seven centaurs. Their hooves stamped on the snow uneasily and most of them carried bows pointed at them. Some centaurs carried small torches to get a better look at Lily. A large, bold looking centaur appeared through the crowd and appeared to be the leader. He had thick, dark hair and piercing eyes.
Lily smartly lowered her wand and made sure Fang was behind her.
“What brings a witch from the school here? Hasn’t the Headmaster told you not to come into these woods?” growled the leader fiercely.
Clearly, he did not like unfamiliar intruders.
“I’m terribly sorry,” started Lily honestly. “I was just trying to get Fang, Hagrid’s dog. I didn’t mean to intrude on your land or hospitality.”
Hospitality? Evans, what are you trying to do? Sweet talk them? thought James as he moved closer towards Lily and Fang.
“Hagrid’s dog?” questioned the leader, and the whole group started to murmur.
Lily gripped her wand tighter and for some reason she knew that the centaurs had not bought her story, even if it was true.
After a bit of whispering, the leader centaur turned toward Lily and stated, “If Hagrid needed his dog he would have come himself. I believe you a liar that is trespassing on our land. Take her.”
Lily stepped back as the centaurs started to close in slowly. She raised her wand and with a simple flick, all the torches went out and then there was a sudden commotion from the centaurs. There were surprised voices, the noisy stamping of hooves, and shouts of outrage.
At first, James had thought Lily had somehow apparated, but he knew it was impossible. He dashed to a closer clearing where he saw the centaurs barking urgently, and Lily rushing past them. The centaurs’ eyes adapted quickly, and with the help of the moonlight, they spotted her running toward the edge of the forest. Some of them began shooting their arrows at her, which she deflected successfully once again.
James raced through the many trees keeping a close eye on Lily, when suddenly he spotted two centaurs running on both sides of Lily with their bows raised as she approached the edge of the woods.
“EVANS!” yelled James forgetting about his plan to stay hidden and out of site.
She immediately looked at where the voice had come from and felt herself get pushed over strongly into the snow onto her side. For a few breathless moments, she thought that a centaur had perhaps tackled her down, but when she opened her eyes she saw James on top of her gasping for air and sweat appearing at the top of his forehead. She noticed that his invisibility cloak was on top of the both of them.
“Pott- “
“Shhh,” he told her abruptly.
Lily closed her mouth immediately and listened to the centaurs’ hooves patrol around and then retreat back into the forest angrily. When they were both certain that the centaurs were no longer near them, James threw off the invisibility cloak. He got off of her (his cheeks blushing) and helped her up with one hand.
“Potter,” she said slightly flustered, “what do you think you’re doing here?!”
“Saving you,” replied James rather smoothly, yet he didn’t feel too smooth at the moment. He felt a sudden urge to vomit into the white snow in front of him. Shaking it off uneasily, he jammed his invisibility cloak into his coat pocket.
“You could have been killed!” she lectured as the both of them, with Fang, headed toward Hagrid’s.
“Same with you,” added James cleverly as he patted Fang walking along side him.
“Unlike you, I actually know the consequences of going into the forest,” retorted Lily while rolling her eyes.
“If you knew the consequences you wouldn’t have gone in the first place then, would you?” inquired James wryly.
“That’s not the point,” sighed Lily wearily and she increased her pace of walking in order to get to Hagrid’s quicker and get out of this edgy conversation with James Potter hastily.
“Well…” he started but suddenly felt too nauseated and tired to end as he abruptly slowed down behind her.
“Are you bloody stupid?!” she asked furiously, clearly unaware that she was grumbling to nobody seeing as James had fallen behind her quite a bit of distance.
James did not respond.
Lily seemed to sense something wrong and turned to face him. The moonlight shown off the glittering snow to reveal an arrow pierced into the side of his left shoulder. The blood shined off his shoulder, and she gasped.
Sensing Lily’s concern, he glanced at what she was gaping at and stated rather bluntly, “Shit.”
“An arrow from the centaurs,” whispered Lily with a tone of worry as she rushed over to examine his shoulder. “They are poisonous, Potter!”
“I can kind…of…” he was running out of breath and became slightly disoriented.
Lily supported him on one side as her pace quickened.
“Why were you out there? What were you trying to do?! You weren’t supposed to be there!” scolded Lily.
“I might ask you the same thing,” panted James.
“Even when you are in excruciating pain, you still have enough spine to ask such a smart alec-question?” questioned Lily disbelievingly.
James had no idea that she had expertly concealed her panic for his well-being.
“Answer the question!” he emphasized painfully as he felt a stabbing jolt in his stomach and arm.
They were now within a few meters from Hagrid’s.
“I was out there to get Fang, alright! I was trying to do something for a friend. This had nothing to do with you, nothing.”
“Evans,” started James, “don’t try to be a hero.” After that, his eyes gave into darkness, and he felt his body become heavy and collapse entirely onto Lily.
“Potter?!” he heard her scream suddenly. “POTTER! JAMES!!!”
And then all went blank.
When James awoke, he realized that someone had taken off his glasses. He was staring at the blurry, intricate, stoned carved, high ceiling of the Hospital Wing. The room was filling slowly up with sunshine, and it seemed he had woken up at early dawn. He felt around his left arm, and when he touched it, it stung instantly. Heaving himself up, he was greatly relieved that the immense nauseous sensation he had felt before had gone. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and grasped his glasses with his right hand. As he put them on, he saw Lily Evans sound asleep in an oak chair right next to his bed. His eyes widened immediately as he gaped at her.
Her fine, blazing hair was disarrayed, which was an amusing difference from her usual smooth, combed down look. Her head lay tilted to one side, and she was still dressed in her school uniform from last night. James assumed that she was there all night “looking after” him, and the thought made him smile.
Oh, Evans. thought James with a bit of crimson coming across his face. I knew you liked me.
As if Lily knew what James was thinking, she stirred, and her sleepy eyes blinked dazedly. When they adjusted onto James’s grinning face, she instantly sat straight up and swiftly slapped him across the face.
Slightly taken aback, James clutched the side of his left cheek as he felt a stinging sensation creep in.
“What- ?“
“That’s for being so damn stupid, Potter!” yelled Lily automatically as if she had practiced that exact line all her life.
James was amazed that Madam Pomfrey did not wake up from this.
“What- I- I- just…”
James trailed off as Lily exhaled sharply and flicked back her hair behind her left shoulder.
“By the way,” began Lily reluctantly, and James became very keen on listening, “thanks for what you did.”
“Huh?” asked James slightly taken aback by getting a “thanks” from Lily Evans.
“Well, you know, the way you took the blame for going into the Forbidden Forest instead of me,” explained Lily, and she diverted her eyes toward the stone floor.
Raising his eye brows, James recalled that he did indeed confess to Professor McGonagall (through disorientation and sickness) that he was the one that went looking for Fang, and that Lily found him stumbling back to Hagrid’s.
“It was actually kind of classy,” admitted Lily with great difficulty as she pulled her attention towards James’s beaming face.
He replied by saying, “Why thank you. I knew a prefect couldn’t get a detention. That just sets a bad example.”
“Like you?” questioned Lily smartly as she stopped a wide smile spreading across her face.
“Better I caught than you,” added James with a grin.
Lily glanced away from James’s expression in an attempt to regain her composure from his acute comment while he continued to smile at her uncontrollably.
“Would you please tear that stupid smirk off your face?” inquired Lily rather indignantly after a momentary pause. “It’s making me uneasy.”
“Yes, ma’am,” James chuckled and then tried to curve his mouth into a frown but failed miserably.
Lily shook her head hopelessly as James leaned back onto his cream coloured pillow with a smile still plastered on his face.
Little did James know that in that moment, Lily would see something in him that she had never seen before, and it would confuse her, embarrass her, and comfort her all at the same time.
Someone You Didn't Know by Canadian Confessional
~Chapter Ten~
Someone You Didn’t know
Madam Pomfrey had felt that James was unfit to attend school that day, so he was left to entertain himself. The first thing he did was say “goodbye” to Lily as she left him to go to her first class.
“I’ll see you after classes, and if you’re lucky I might actually visit you during my spare period,” said Lily tiredly as she got up from her oak chair she had spent the night on.
James almost wanted to chuckle at how she had to struggle to come up with the word “visit” when addressing it toward him.
“I’ll bring your homework up too, seeing as we unfortunately have the same classes together,” she added sarcastically.
“Why thank you for being so nice, Miss Evans,” replied James innocently as he batted his eye lashes frantically.
Lily rolled her emerald eyes at him, and James knew that a cruel comeback comment was on the edge of her tongue, but instead she mustered a, “It’s the least I could do.”
As she grasped the brass knob of the door, she turned to gaze at James and started, “Uhh, Potter…”
“Don’t worry about it,” cut in James, reading her mind. “This will stay between you and me.”
She smiled awkwardly and gratefully at the same time and then left.
The second thing he did was glance around for anybody else present in the Hospital Wing. He noticed that there was not a single soul, other than Madam Pomfrey in her office, and he let out a sigh of relief. He felt, for the first time in a long while, that he wanted to be alone. Of course, some company every so often wouldn’t be a bad thing, but he felt that today would be a perfect time to relax and reflect.
Just as James was making a third thing to do on his mental “to do” list, the doors of the Hospital Wing flung open and two sixth year boys led by a tall, grey-eyed teen walked in. James glanced at them and smiled as he sat up with a grin.
“Prongs,” started Remus Lupin as he sat on the edge of James’s bed, “why are you always in here?”
“I think the better question is how many times have you been in here?” questioned Sirius with one sarcastic eye brow raised as he sat down on the oak chair Lily had been sleeping on.
Peter snickered at Sirius’s comment as he sat on the other side of James. “That is a very good question, which I think should be answered.”
James shrugged as he replied, “What can I say? Maybe I’m looking to go into nursing.”
The three boys laughed at his witty comment. They had to admit, James Potter was a ring leader for a reason.
“How did you guys find out?” asked James curiously just as the three stopped laughing.
“Well, Professor McGonagall told us,” stated Remus. “She came into our common room just as we were about to head down to the Great Hall for breakfast.”
“What did she tell you?” inquired James.
“She came running in and said that you got shot by a centaur’s arrow when you were looking for Fang,” replied Peter right before he yawned.
“You could have let me in on the fun. Then, you probably wouldn’t have been shot,” added Sirius smartly as he pushed his dark hair back.
“Right, I was looking for Fang,” James muttered dreamily.
“That is the truth, right?” asked Sirius with a suspecting edge in his tone, and the two other boys glanced at James momentarily with questioning faces.
“Of course! What bloody else would I be doing?” challenged James confidently as a smirk drew across his face.
What the bloody hell was I doing? pondered James after the three Marauders had left for last minute breakfast and their respective first classes.
James leaned back on his fluffy pillow as his eyes glazed over with thoughts. A silver breakfast tray (which used to hold a fruit salad, orange juice, and oatmeal) lay empty on the bed side table to the right of him. Madam Promfrey had opened a small crack of a window but not wide enough to catch a draft. A refreshing breeze managed to squeeze itself into the room and brush against James’s face. He patted his stomach comfortingly and let his head automatically roll back as his thoughts overcame him.
I went to Hogsmeade through the secret passageway on the third floor. I avoided Sirius. I remember that. I visited Madam Rosmerta! Oh, right! I got the butterbeers so I could…
“Mr. Potter?” came a voice, and his eyes dazedly came open from sleep.
“Huh?” said James in surprise as his eyes widened immediately from seeing Madam Pomfrey gazing down at him.
She raised an eye brow unimpressively before she replied, “Mr. Potter, I’m sorry to disturb you, but I’ll be away for a few minutes. A second year Gryffindor student thought it would be amusing to ride around on his broom and crash into the Whomping Willow.”
James tried to stifle a chuckle but failed.
“I’m glad somebody finds it amusing,” Madam Pomfrey stated sarcastically. “Anyways, I’ll be tending to him and bringing him up later. I just thought I should inform you.”
“Yes, ma’am,” answered James politely, and she hurried out of the Hospital Wing doors with winter coat, scarf, and first-aid kit in hand.
James sat still for a few seconds, making sure that Madam Pomfrey was out of ear shot. Once he confirmed this, he whipped back his sheets and walked over towards the window. Sure enough, there were a few professors, spectators, and Madam Pomfrey coming to tend to the second year. The kid seemed to be slightly squeamish as he glanced at the large gash on his leg.
James yawned and stretched. His arm was still a bit stiff, but it was not as painful as it was last night or this morning. Deciding he had nothing better to do, James was about to head back towards his bed when the side of his eye caught something. Turning, his hazel eyes fell on the edge of a small, black, upright piano squished neatly into the very right corner at the end of the room. It seemed to be hidden from every single person’s view by a small, pale blue coloured curtain pulled in front of it.
James walked over toward it and noticed that certain items such as a toppled piano chair, a few worn out boxes, and a small, tarnished desk were crammed in the corner with the piano as if a person hastily threw everything there in an attempt to do a fast clean-up. Glancing around, James made sure not a soul was in ear shot before he moved over the boxes and desk to the side. Grasping the chair, he flipped it over onto its proper side and sat down on it to notice that it wobbled dangerously from his weight. He blew to clear the dust from the dirty keys.
Placing his foot on the pedal and right hand on middle C, he moved his fingers up the piano from C to E, then G and C again until the end. Taking his hand off the piano momentarily, he sighed as he listened to the notes ring and echo off the walls. After a few brief moments, he played a small tune with his right hand, with which he paused at the end of the last note. Then, he added his left hand, and his right hand continued to play the melody.
The song held a sentimental tone as the left hand played cords at certain parts and the right hand continued on with the melancholy tune. The room filled with music, something it hadn’t experienced in a very long time, and James was immersed in the sound.
A piano. He hadn’t played on a piano for the longest time. Obviously, he had one at home (a grand piano), but he had not played on it for years. He had learnt on his own to play, for he had nothing else to do with his time before going to Hogwarts. None of the Marauders ever knew because he had never really cared or thought much about playing the piano once at Hogwarts. Many things had come up…
James continued to play as the number of notes on his left hand increased and the momentum sped up. His right hand continued to play along with his left, and he had not noticed that someone had entered the room in uttermost curiosity.
Dropping her book bag off by James’s bed, the girl slowly made her way to the corner of the room where the sound of the piano was coming from. For a moment, she was in shock to see James Potter fluently playing the piano as if he had done it all his life.
Lily Evans brushed her crimson hair behind her shoulder as she calmly sat on the left of him and immediately started playing a melody to match his. James was slightly surprised but continued playing as Lily continued to play.
The duet they played together was beautiful and meaningful. It contained a romantic rhythm that was different and sweet all at the same time. It seemed to reflect the joyous surprise they both held for each other at that exact moment. It was if they were speaking to each other with words that did not exist.
James Potter finished with one last, longing cord, and Lily finished off the piece with a trill ornament at the end.
“I didn’t know you played,” said Lily softly once they both took their hands off the piano, and James let go of the pedal.
She was still trying to grasp her head around James Potter as a sensitive piano player. It just didn’t seem possible that the most laid-back, pranking, arrogant student in all of Hogwarts was playing such an emotional instrument. It just didn’t add up or make sense.
“I didn’t know you played,” answered James with a grin coming across his face.
“I didn’t know you had the same sheet music,” Lily said with a tone of slight surprise.
“I remember when I was little, I would always play both parts, but I would always become frustrated at the fact that I could never hear the whole song. My parents never played, so I never found out what the real song sounded like…until now.”
“Funny,” Lily started with her lips curving into an ironic smile, “me too.”
“Oh, could I ask you a favor?” asked James, and Lily glanced up at him from her homework.
After their little “duet”, James returned to his bed, for he knew that Madam Pomfrey would be coming back any second, and Lily took her seat in the oak chair. Lily had handed him his homework, and the both of them worked in silence until James had just broken it.
“It depends,” stated Lily as she continued to scribble away at her piece of parchment she was working on for Charms.
James smiled. He knew that she thought he was going to ask her out again.
“Could you,” James started as he ripped off the edge of a piece of spare parchment and started scratching away at it, “give this to somebody?” He folded it up neatly in half and gave it to Lily.
“What is it?” questioned Lily suspiciously as she grasped it carefully and cautiously.
“It’s something,” replied James mysteriously as he gazed at the note.
“I’m not being used to hand a prank to some poor first year, am I?”
James laughed before replying, “It possibly could be.”
Lily frowned at him.
“I’m just kidding!” exclaimed James jokingly, but Lily still seemed unconvinced as she raised her eye brow. “Could you give this note to Audrey Filendale? She’s a fourth year in Ravenclaw.”
“OK,” answered Lily still unsure whether to trust James with his word or not. “We’ll see.”
“Thanks, Evans,” answered James with a grin, and he returned once again to his Charms homework.
Lily Evans was indeed puzzled. Why James Potter would want to purposefully prank this poor fourth year girl was beyond her comprehension. The question rolled around in her head as she would occasionally glance at the bespectacled teen sitting pleasantly in the bed before her.
When Lily would eventually leave, she would find the answer to her question. She would unravel the note from her book bag, and it would reveal to her that James Potter was not an open book, charming, popular prankster like she initially thought, but a complex character hidden behind his layers of conceited confidence.
The Christmas Party by Canadian Confessional
~Chapter Eleven~
The Christmas Party
“Sorry about missing Wednesday,” apologized James as he shifted in his seat. “You know, something came up.”
Audrey smiled before replying, “Yeah, I know.”
The two were present in the Astronomy Tower. It was Thursday night, and James was doing a “make-up” lesson with Audrey for missing yesterday. James had informed Audrey of the Thursday meeting by writing it on the note he asked Lily to deliver.
“Well done. You’ve got the right idea. I knew you could get it,” commented James after glancing at the text book questions Professor McGonagall had assigned Audrey.
“Thanks!” replied Audrey immediately with a perk in her voice James had never heard before.
As he handed back her parchment and book, he glanced up at her. Her dark violet hair flopped over her chocolate eyes clumsily, and she swiped them out of her face casually.
“Oh, by the way!” said Audrey suddenly, and James’s curiosity grew immensely as he gazed at her. “I got my latest Transfiguration essay back!” She handed it to him as her cheeks grew a rosy colour with a grin plastered on her face.
James grasped it and glanced at the mark at the top. The words “Exceeds Expectations” were written with a dark ink circle etched around it.
“Wow!” announced James happily. “This is great! This calls for a celebration!”
“No, really, it’s fine,” said Audrey kindly as she blushed even more. “You really- “
“I insist,” replied James as he plunged his hand into his book bag and grasped two bottles of butterbeer (the ones he had went to Hogsmeade for the night before). “One for you, and one for me.”
Audrey gaped at him almost disbelievingly. “Are you serious? James, how did you- “
He shrugged with a warm smile and said, “Audrey, you earned it.” Then, with the flick of his wand, the metal bottle caps popped off.
They both grasped their bottles of butterbeer.
“To Audrey Filendale’s excellent mark on her essay,” stated James with his grin still intact as he lifted his bottle.
“To James Potter and his amazing skills as a tutor,” stated Audrey as her lips curved into a grin, and she raised her bottle as well.
“To friends.”
“To friendship.”
“Merry Christmas,” said James warmly as their bottles clanked together cheerfully.
“Merry Christmas,” Audrey responded thoughtfully, and the both of them drank up together talking until the late hours of the night as the snow fell ceaselessly on.
“They’re late,” stated Remus bluntly to James as they both waited for the other Marauders.
The Marauders had decided to meet just in front of the doors to the Great Hall at quarter to seven. Already, there was a large amount of people crowding around the closed doors, excited about the party. The majority was dressed up quite nicely in semi-formal dress wear, and some had added a Christmas touch to their outfits. Couples could be seen from miles around, but people might be unsure if all of them were happy to be with each other. Some would assume that certain people just didn’t want to go alone, thus, they resorted to finding a substitute to keep them company.
“I heard there was going to be beer!” shouted one third year to his friend as they passed James.
Remus raised an eye brow. “They still believe that?”
“Who knows?” replied James with a shrug. “Third years: they’ll believe anything.”
Remus laughed but then suddenly stopped as his eye caught something. Instantly, he tugged on the sleeve of James’s navy coloured, collared shirt.
Approaching James and Remus was Peter Pettigrew. His thin, light brown hair was combed down neatly, and he wore a white shirt and a grey sweater on top with beige corduroy pants. The boy’s watery round eyes beamed with happiness, and his sharp nose seemed to stick up in triumph as he spotted his two friends. Clutching Peter’s hand tightly was a petite, blond haired girl with bright blue eyes. Her head seemed to lie perfectly on Peter’s shoulder, and her lips curved into a smile as she did so.
James whistled with astonishment as Remus grinned at the new “couple”.
“Hi guys,” greeted Peter warmly. “Sorry I’m late.”
“No worries about that,” answered James instantly as he smiled.
“Oh!” started Peter as if pretending that the girl he had come with had not turned a few heads. “This is Natasha Wellings. She’s a fifth year in Hufflepuff.”
“It’s nice to meet you all,” said Natasha sweetly as she adjusted her long, ruffled, evergreen coloured skirt.
All of a sudden, the anticipated noise of the large Great Hall doors opening occurred, and many people shrieked and whispered in delight. Last minute students making their way to the Great Hall rushed immediately to the doors as the sea of people began to enter while dropping off their galleons at the entrance.
“Should we go in?” asked Peter kindly as he glanced down at Natasha.
She smiled and nodded in agreement as she linked arms with him gently.
“Wait a second Wor- Peter,” said James, and Peter and Natasha looked at him quizzically. “Have you seen Padfoot?”
“Oh, I ran into him before coming down. He said you guys should just go on ahead, because he’s going to be running a bit late,” answered Peter, and he and Natasha walked off toward the entrance giggling along the way.
Running a bit late? For what? pondered James absent-mindedly.
“Did you know Wormtail had a date for the party?” questioned Remus with slight surprise.
“Nope, I didn’t even have a clue,” replied James as he broke away from his thoughts about Sirius’s whereabouts.
“Well, so much for the ‘all-of-us-going-together’ plan,” said Remus sarcastically as he shrugged his shoulders. “Wormtail is off strutting with some blond, and Padfoot is doing Merlin knows what. What’s the plan now?”
James turned to him with a smirk, offered Remus his arm, and replied, “Would you care to join me, Moony, as my date?”
Remus raised a sarcastic eye brow. “Not even if it was a choice between you and the giant squid.”
As the two entered the Great Hall, their eyes met with a magnificent scene. Unlike the usual tile floor, massive house tables, and staff tables, the ground was like a sheet of ice that wasn’t slippery. The ceiling and walls was white and glossy as if it was carved out of ice, and large chandeliers hung from the ceiling adding a warm glow. A nice effect that was added was that the ceiling seemed to be “snowing” in certain places, and certain areas of the room had snow banks in place. A large Christmas tree (cut down by Hagrid himself) was decorated from head to toe with tinsel, red and gold balls, various ornaments, and a bright star was placed at the top. Some tables (which also appeared made out of ice) had Christmas treats such as slices of cake, smoked salmon, cookies, Christmas punch, sliced roast beef, and hot cocoa being served graciously by some of the kitchen elves. A band dressed quite nicely was playing in the middle of the room on a platform, and couples danced away to the tunes they played.
Tactfully avoiding dancing couples, James and Remus managed to make their way to a table serving treats on the other side of the room. Along the way, girls that caught site of the two giggled and whispered to each other.
“The Marauders,” whispered one to another.
“Natasha Wellings, eh?” stated James with a smirk as he poured Christmas punch into his cup. “You ever heard of her?”
Remus shook his head as he scanned the room. “Nope, Padfoot probably has though.”
“Maybe,” said James casually as he grasped an angel frosted sugar cookie off a silver tray. “Someone you looking for?”
Remus shrugged casually as he abruptly turned his head away before answering, “No.”
James gave Remus a sideways glance before he took another sip of his scarlet punch drink. Remus gazed down at the table of food and reluctantly grasped a piece of cheese.
“You know, it’s OK if you want to dance with her,” stated James after a few moments of silence between the two friends that shared so much. “Actually, it’s OK for you to dance with anybody, really.”
Remus peered up at James with widened eyes of bewilderment.
“You can’t always hide yourself away from what you are, Remus. You’ve got to accept it. You can’t continue to distance yourself away from interactions outside of the four of us.” James put down his drink on the table and clutched the sides of Remus’s shoulders with both hands. “It’s alright to dance with somebody; anybody. You just have to stop being afraid and worried, and enjoy.”
Remus shifted uneasily as he glanced at the icy floor underneath him.
Was this the joking, care-free, oblivious, laid-back James Potter he knew since first year?
“Didn’t you once say that we only get one life, so why not enjoy it?” asked James as a smile crept across his face.
Remus gazed up into James’s warm eyes with an expression of unbelievable gratitude.
He was at a loss for words. The fact that he never wanted to have a close interaction with other people, because he didn’t want them to find out about his lycanthropy was always bottled up inside him. The constant thought always plagued him constantly though, and so did the fact that he would distance himself from anybody he liked.
As Remus looked at his friend of five years, he felt that this friendship was truly something that would last forever and nothing could ever break it apart…
Then, Remus did something James had not expected: he hugged him.
James felt his cheeks grow slightly crimson as they broke apart from each other.
“Thanks, James,” whispered Remus.
“Hey,” James started kindly, “what are friends for? Go dance with her.”
“Wait! One thing though. Doesn’t Padfoot like her? Won’t he think I’m trying to steal her or something?” asked Remus with his adrenaline pumping.
James shrugged casually. “Just tell him you’re dancing as friends. It’s the truth.”
Remus nodded with a grin. “You’ve got a very good point there.”
James slapped him on the back, and Remus was off.
James observed from the table as Remus made his way over toward a slim girl with hazel hair and thinly framed glasses surrounded by a whole bunch of her friends. He gingerly tapped on the girl’s shoulder; Naomii’s shoulder. She turned around and glanced up at him curiously. It was obvious that Remus was asking very shyly as he fidgeted noticeably with his fingers. After a small period of time, (that felt like a life time for Remus) Naomii smiled delightedly and put one hand on his shoulder and the other in his hand. Naomii’s friends giggled ferociously as they watched their friend dance away happily.
On-lookers gazed enviously at Naomii dancing with an actual “Marauder”.
Remus leaned in toward Naomii and whispered something in her ear that made her giggle.
James’s attention turned toward the other dancing couples, and he caught site of Peter dancing clumsily with Natasha. He seemed to be dancing with two left feet, but Natasha didn’t seem to mind as she continued to smile up at his watery eyes.
James smiled at his two friends having a great time, but his grin soon faded as he drained the last of his cup and tossed it into the nearby garbage can.
Wasn’t this supposed to be the best time of year, the greatest?
Moony and Wormtail are having an awesome time! I should be happy for them, but then how come I don’t feel happy at all?
Was he, James Potter, feeling jealous?
Get a grip on reality, Prongs. James told himself instantly. Christmas is so bloody over-rated anyway…
He made his way around the dance floor and passed a crowd of girls that giggled stupidly to themselves as he walked by them briskly. Spotting an empty table (that also appeared to be made out of ice) covered with a cream coloured table cloth, he strode toward it and sat down. James leaned back on his chair and ruffled his already messy hair. Adjusting his glasses casually, he once again peered up at the dance floor where he saw Peter dancing happily with Natasha, and Remus who was now gracefully leading one of Naomii’s friends around.
You have two choices here mate: dance with whoever asks, or search around the whole night for Lily.
Inter-locking both hands behind his head, he let out a quick sigh.
You have a choice here mate…
After a few moments of contemplating, he got up from the chair and headed over toward a serving table where Naomii seemed to be discussing how the party was going with a house elf.
“Is everything OK? Do we need more of anything?” she asked the house elf patiently as she fidgeted with her glasses and tucked her fine hair behind her left ear.
The house elf shook her head and gave a smile at Naomii as James approached her.
“Hey, Naomii,” came James’s voice, and Naomii turned to face him with a grin, “do you want to dance?”
James had decided that he wouldn’t waste the night away searching for somebody that probably was going to shoot him down and humiliate him all at the same time. Christmas was coming, and this party was meant for people to have fun, enjoy, and get into the holiday spirits. Wasn’t that the advice he had just given one of his best friends? He wouldn’t be a hypocrite and ruin the bright spirits Christmas brought.
Naomii had agreed to dance with him and they spent two songs dancing with each other. After, Naomii introduced one of her friends to him, and the girl excitedly accepted. He also caught site of the Gryffindor Quidditch captain, Jennifer Wood, and he danced with her. Keira Jensen and Skye Fornei (two Gryffindor Quidditch team members) had even persuaded James to dance in a circle, with the three of them holding hands. He was also asked several times by various different girls and accepted graciously to all. He barely had time to sit down because as soon as he did, he would be asked to dance again a few minutes later.
Two hours passed without James realizing it. He was so occupied dancing and getting something to eat in between that he had forgotten about the time. When he had finally broke away from dancing with a red-headed girl named Katie, he glanced up at the hour glass that read 9:22 P.M. Glancing around, he spotted Peter and Remus occupying a table at one end of the room. Avoiding some dancing couples along the way, he made his way over to a seat and sat down next to them as the band struck up another song.
“Hey guys,” greeted James cheerfully. “Having a good time?”
Remus took a sip of hot cocoa and replied, “I’ve had an exceptional time! I have to admit I didn’t expect this ‘party’ to be that interesting, but it turned around for me. Bloody amazing.”
Peter nodded in agreement. “It’s been great!” He blushed slightly as he gazed down at the table. “Natahsa is really outstanding.”
James and Remus chuckled teasingly.
Peter peered up at them mildly offended, yet the two other boys did not notice.
The band ended on one, last, loud note and the surrounding people clapped cheerfully.
Suddenly, a jazzy piano tune came on, and the woman playing it started to sing “The Christmas Song” in a blues like tone. The snowing ceiling turned dark into a night sky as all the couples immediately banded together, and others desperately clambered to find a person to dance with. Everybody knew that this was a slow song for all the couples.
Peter got up quickly and jogged over toward Natasha whose face brightened immediately at the site of him. She threw her arms around his short neck and gazed into his small eyes dreamily.
James and Remus smirked at him as they watched.
The both of them sat watching Peter until suddenly Remus nudged James in the side. Peering up at Remus, James saw that one of Naomii’s friends had just asked Remus to dance with her. He grinned at James and walked onto the dance floor with her.
Alone again. thought James slightly disappointed. They will probably play slow dances for the last half hour just to wrap things up. Might as well leave.
As James was about to get up and leave without anybody noticing, he spotted something.
As Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore waltzed past James’s view, he caught a flick of scarlet at the corner of his eye.
There, in the middle of the dance floor was Lily Evans. Her dark red hair was tied up gracefully on the top of her head, and her eyes were even more emphasized with the pale green eye shadow she wore. Her rose coloured lips were dressed with crimson coloured lipstick, and she wore a beautiful black, wool skirt with small glittered decorations in various places. On top, she wore a cream coloured, long sleeved henley.
Without noticing, James had dropped his mouth slightly at her beauty as he stood a few meters away from her on the dance floor. He took a swift step forward and was now only a maximum of two meters away from her.
Ask her, ask her, ask her, ask her…
His heart thumped rapidly. He started to sweat but hadn’t notice. There was a large rock in his throat; a lump. His hand automatically flew up to the back of his untidy hair. He adjusted his shirt with the other hand. He felt his cheeks grow warm.
She’s right there. Do it James! Do-
Then almost as if out of the sky, a tall teen with chestnut coloured hair came up to Lily. His eyes were dark, his shoulders broad, and he wore a blue and white striped shirt. Immediately, Lily’s eyes widened with absolute bliss which James had never seen before.
The boy who was now dancing with Lily was Brendan Fraser. He was a sixth year in Hufflepuff. He was the Seeker and Captain of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team. He was the one that Lily and Jamie had gossiped about when they were returning from the Hogsmeade outing in November. He was the one dancing with Lily, not James.
Lily leaned against Brendan comfortingly as they danced, and as James watched in utmost horror.
The romantic, moonlight song ended with a fading out piano, and as it did so, Lily slowly finished her turn and glanced up at Brendan with beaming eyes. Then, she kissed him hard and long on the lips. He wrapped his arms around her waist and back, and she placed both her hands lightly on the back of his smooth neck.
James immediately welled up in an emotion he had never experienced in such magnitude before. It wasn’t all anger, yet he felt some rage to physically batter Brendan, and it was most certainly not extreme sadness, but the hurt feeling had still washed over him like ice cold water. It was jealousy, of the strongest and worst kind.
James (who was not exactly sure what to do) stepped awkwardly backwards off the dance floor while still watching Lily and Brendan. The band started up again with another jazz like song as James finally managed to turn away and dash toward the entrance of the Great Hall doors as Lily Evans just broke away from her kiss with Brendan Fraser.
He now understood what real pain was; for somebody to rip out one’s heart and throw it into the frozen snow to leave it to bleed to death, just like Lily Evans had just done to his heart.
He dashed passed a crowd of fourth years as he struggled with anguish to hold back tears he hadn’t shed since he was a child. Tears he thought he would never shed.
“James?” called a voice soft and suddenly, and James wheeled around on his heel panting to glance back at who it was.
Standing just a few feet from the Great Hall doors was Audrey Filendale. Her violet hair was pulled up as a cute bun on top of her head, but her bangs were still drooping over her face in that casual way that James had become accustomed to love. He didn’t even take one glance at what type of skirt she had on, or what type of cute shoes she wore, but abruptly realized how beautiful she actually was. He wasn’t thinking about her physical beauty but her inner beauty; the one part she had shared fluently with James.
For the first time, he felt he had no control over his actions or words as his emotions bubbled inside every inch of his soul.
Without saying a single word, James briskly walked over toward Audrey and embraced her as he kissed her impulsively.
He had no clue what he was doing or why he was doing it, but for some reason his raw, broken heart inside him longed for something. It was something that Lily Evans had never given him. It was something that he had desired and yearned for a time that seemed an eternity.
BANG!
James collapsed onto the iced floor as bright lights and stars blurred his vision. Clutching his face where he had just been hit, he noticed that his nose was bleeding. Blinking and shaking his head quickly, James noticed that his glasses had been shattered on one side. Instantly looking up at what or who had hit him, he came face-to-face with a hatred filled Sirius Black. Sirius’s face was contorted in anger and sadness that looked strikingly familiar to James. He clenched his fists before spitting at James, “You son of a bitch.”
Such a Fool by Canadian Confessional
~Chapter Twelve~
Such a Fool
“You lying son of a bitch,” spat Sirius as he glared down at James.
James wiped the blood from his nose roughly with the back of his hand and stood up even though he wobbled slightly as he did so.
As the song the band was playing began to end, a few people started to notice the scene of outburst occurring between Sirius and James. Many on-lookers began to murmur curiously to one another until the news spread to the majority throughout the room.
“What the hell is your problem, Black?!” yelled James as a few people came closer toward them to overhear what was happening.
“What the hell is my problem? I don’t think you have the right to ask that question!” retorted Sirius furiously as he stepped towards James.
James rolled his eyes annoyingly. “I really don’t need this right now, Sirius.”
“I don’t care what you do or don’t need right now, James! You’ve brought this upon yourself!”
James had not recalled the last time that he and Sirius had referred to each other with their actual first names.
“Oh, OK, now I have done something wrong, wait a minute! What exactly have I done wrong, Mr. Black?!” he asked with a sarcastic tone to his voice.
Sirius’s face turned a fuming scarlet colour as he replied, “You know very damn well what you have done!”
“No, actually I don’t! Why don’t you enlighten me?”
“You kissed my girl!”
The band had completely stopped playing because of this argument, and the words Sirius had just said echoed throughout the stone Great Hall walls. Many girls gasped and searched frantically for the girl Sirius was talking about in hopes that it was them. Everybody, including members of the teaching staff, were listening and looking at the two exchanging words. There was now an even bigger crowd around James and Sirius, and their whole conversation could basically have been broadcasted.
“And you also bloody lied to me about it! To me; your best friend!” continued Sirius not seeming to care or notice everybody else.
“What are you talking about?! I didn- “ James tried to explain not seeming to understand exactly how deep in actuality Sirius was talking about.
He assumed that Sirius had meant Audrey was a girl he was planning to flirt with for the fun of it. It infuriated James that Sirius would become so upset just because he had kissed a girl (which he was very close to) that Sirius wanted to “play around” with. James knew Sirius had no commitment when it came to women.
“What about all those times I asked you where you had been? What about the time you went out to the Forbidden Forest?” pressed Sirius with anger flaring in his eyes.
“I told you what I was doi- “
“No! You didn’t tell me! You lied to me! You lied to me about everything because you were secretly spending time with the one girl I love!”
“You…” James couldn’t finish his sentence. Suddenly, he had become speechless as he glanced at Audrey. “How did you- “
“How did I find out?! I saw it on the bloody map! I saw two bloody dots always meet in the same time alone the same time you would go ‘missing’. I didn’t want to believe it was you and her, so I ignored it, because I trusted you!”
“Sirius, I- “
“I’m sorry you can’t get bloody, frickin’ Lily Evans to go out with you James, but that shouldn’t mean you need a substitute to occupy your time! Just because you can’t have the one you love doesn’t mean you have to steal mine!”
“Sirius, you don’t unders- “
“James Potter, I have known you forever, and I know you can get conceited and arrogant, but not like this. I would have never guessed you would have sunk to this level, but I know now that you are just a sick, betraying, heartless bastard of a friend!”
With that, Sirius turned and dashed out of the room with speed that most people only dream about. His black bangs covered his cold grey eyes filled with hatred.
James’s whole body went numb as the crowd of people in the room started to whisper to each other questioningly and curiously. James peered around at all the staring, reproachful faces. He felt humiliated and lost as he stepped backward, almost tripping along the way. Then, almost unexpectedly, James caught site of a familiar face; the face of Lily Evans. Her green eyes surveyed him sadly as her expression turned into disappointment, which shattered his confidence that he had had for his whole life.
No! It’s not what you think! It’s not! Let me explain! Please! You don’t understand! shouted James in his head, and he pleaded more than anything for the words to say it, but he couldn’t. There was no reason or explanation for it. He was just speechless.
Suddenly, a small hand clutched his and pulled him through the crowd and out the Great Hall doors with extreme speed. James glanced down at who was pulling him only to see none other than Audrey doing so. She pulled him strongly for a girl her size, and James seemed to have absolutely no control over his body as he walked dazedly through the winding hallways and up flights of staircases. He didn’t take in any of the dimly lit marble walls that were decorated lavishly with Christmas decorations, nor did he see the mounds of holly lining the halls. James just wanted tonight to be a dream, a bad nightmare; something he could wake himself up from.
After an extremely long flight of stairs which seemed too familiar to James, Audrey threw open a door and led him inside. Once there, she slammed the door behind her and locked it. Clutching his hand tightly once again, she directed him to step through a glass door bitten with frost onto a snow covered balcony, and she shut and locked that door behind her as well.
James shivered uneasily as he glanced around his environment. The balcony of the Astronomy Tower which he was presently standing on was covered in thick, soft snow, and more little, white flakes came from the black sky of the night. The large moon glowed softly, and the moonlight shot down upon him and Audrey as if it were a spotlight.
Audrey exhaled softly, and her breath created a cloud that swirled in front of her and disappeared into the darkness.
There was an odd silence between the two, and they both seemed to be listening to nothing in particular but the silence that the winter atmosphere had created.
Audrey shifted uncomfortably as winter’s chill bit at her gradually. James peered down at his feet and the print his shoe was making, as he stuck his hands into the pockets of his pants to warm them.
“James,” began Audrey with a sigh, “we need to talk.”
He glanced up at her with an expression that neither she nor anyone else had ever seen before. It was not one of anger, rage, or frustration, but of a broken heart. It was if his visage had been shattered and that self-confidence which once defined him could no longer be found. His hazel eyes had gone cold and carried nothing but sadness within them. His face was bloody, bruised, and battered. It was if the James Potter everybody knew had never existed.
“James,” repeated Audrey in a desperate attempt to find her words.
James just gazed at her with the same unexplainable, hurt expression.
“I know that you wouldn’t have known that Sirius had feelings for me. Personally, I never knew that…”
Audrey’s words trailed on, but James didn’t hear them all. Something suddenly had dawned on him.
“Do you ever think you like her just because of her appearance?” The reason she asked me that question, and when she said she would never get the attention of somebody. That whole time, she was wondering about Sirius, she was asking me about him. She asked me those questions to reassure that her love for Sirius was real and not some dumb crush based on a shallow heart. She wanted to know how I knew that I really did like Lily not based on appearance, so she could see if she had the same feelings toward Sirius. And Sirius. He kept asking me where I went, because he inferred I was with Audrey because of the Marauder’s Map. He knew all along that I was lying, but he tried to trust me. He really did. No wonder he was so excited about the Christmas party. It gave him an excuse to ask Audrey to spend time with him. And that explains why his face was full of relief when he knew I was asking Lily, not Audrey to the Christmas party. The reason he was late tonight was because he was looking for Audrey. He had probably found her and admitted his feelings. The two must have talked. They must have spent two bloody hours talking. When they finally decided to come, Audrey had come inside the Great Hall first, and Sirius must have been still at the door paying his galleons. That’s when I saw and kissed her out of jealously; out of pity for myself. Why didn’t I see it? Why didn’t I see that Audrey and Sirius both liked each other?
“Sirius likes you, Audrey,” said James so suddenly that Audrey stopped mid-sentence what she was saying.
“What?”
“The reason Sirius punched me was because he loves you,” stated James as a sad smile crept across his face. “I knew his expression was so familiar. That expression of jealousy was plastered all over his face when he looked at me. It was the same face that I had when I saw Lily kiss Brendan.”
The slight smile he had now faded at the mention of the thought of Lily.
“Why was I such a fool?” asked James as he felt tears sting at his eyes and his non-shattered side of his glasses start to fog a bit. “I’ve ruined everything: my friendship with my best friend, the feelings you two have toward each other, and my friendship with you. And what was it all for? It was all because of my pity jealousy for somebody who will never love me the way that I love her.”
James exhaled heavily as he could no longer hold back his anguish; his grief. He felt tears stream down his cheeks slowly. He felt the hot, salty sensation reach his lips as he inhaled shakily.
“Audrey,” he choked, “I am so sorry.”
He shook his head, and Audrey grasped his hand and held it tightly. James peered down at her small, warm hand clutching his.
“Don’t be sorry,” whispered Audrey, “for you have nothing to be sorry for.”
James tried to steady an exhale but failed.
“I know the reason you kissed me was because you were emotional when you saw Lily, and I know you didn’t mean it. There is nothing to be sorry about, James. I can talk to Sirius, explain everything as best I can, and so can you. No damage has been done. If anything, I feel sorry for you.”
James glanced up at Audrey with a tear-stained, disbelieving face and asked, “Why?”
“For you to love somebody so much that you would kiss another just to fill that void is to feel sorry for.”
Immediately, without thinking about it, without planning it, the two of them hugged each other for comfort, support, and understanding. The two held each other on top of the snow covered balcony for what seemed like an eternity. For the both of them though, it felt so familiar, because they had comforted each other before on one winter night some time ago.
A/N: Hey everybody! I just want to say thanks for all the absolutely amazing reviews and input! All you readers are awesome! Thanks a bunch! HAPPY HOLIDAYS YA’LL!
Second Semester Begins by Canadian Confessional
~Chapter Thirteen~
Second Semester Begins
James exhaled as he glanced up at the castle framed by a cloudy, white sky towering over him. His scarlet and gold coloured scarf was wrapped loosely around his neck, and his black, small luggage bag was slung around his right shoulder. He stood in front of the grey stone steps to the intimidating entrance doors as other students (who were making their way back to their dormitories from the Christmas passenger train as well) passed him briskly to get inside the warm confines of Hogwarts.
Christmas had gone as fast as it had come.
James climbed the stairs with a heart not knowing what to expect. What would everyone think of him now? Would his friendship with Sirius outlast this fight? What would he do now that Lily was with somebody?
Feeling the warm heat of the castle against his face, he undid his scarf to let it hang off from his neck on both sides. James turned a corner swiftly in order to get to the flight of stairs heading to the Gryffindor common room.
That night when Audrey had held him on top of the balcony, he had cried until he had a blistering headache, and his eyes were too dry and raw to shed anything else. It had felt so awkward for him to cry. He felt that he was the James Potter, the confident individual that took everything in stride. So why did he let his emotions over ride him to cry on Audrey’s shoulder?
James re-adjusted the strap of his bag as he passed a couple of second years chatting on the stairwell.
On Saturday, the day after the Christmas party, James had spent most of his time packing frantically and silently, for his trip home for Christmas. He avoided all the rumors and gossip about his argument with Sirius circling around the air like thick fog as best as possible. James had also avoided Sirius and distanced himself away from the other Marauders as best as he could.
“James,” Remus had said while catching James rushing out of the portrait hole to grab a late snack in the kitchen on Saturday night, “do you want to talk?”
As Remus and James snuck through the halls they conversed about how they didn’t know that Sirius indeed had “actual” serious feelings toward Audrey. They had both assumed that Sirius had been eyeing Naomii the entire time because of the way the two of them seemed to flirt with each other.
“I guess it was just a close friendship that we mistook as a romantic interaction,” concluded Remus as he pushed open the door to the Hogwarts kitchen.
“That is truly the understatement of the year,” replied James as he glanced around at the house elves busy at work cleaning up.
“How do you know Audrey?” asked Remus curiously but cautiously at the same time as James inquired about any food left over to a small house elf.
James peered up at Remus and answered, “It’s kind of a long story.”
The two were handed small chicken pies in tin containers along with metal forks. As they headed back toward the Gryffindor common room, James had told Remus all about his “private” lessons with Audrey and how they had shared things with each other and learned to become so close as friends.
“And the reason I kissed her was becau- “ James tried to explain but was cut off.
“It was because you saw Lily kissing Brendan Fraser?” half answered and half questioned Remus as the two of them had reached the portrait hole and were holding two empty pie tins.
James simply nodded. “Yeah, something like that.”
James crawled through the portrait hole hastily and made his way up the stairs to the boys’ dormitories while passing left over tinsel, confetti, and wrapping paper littering the common room floor. Coming to his dormitory door, he opened it cautiously to find the room vacant with not even a trace of a single soul in sight. Sighing with slight relief, he dropped his bag with a thud on the floor near his bed and closed the oak, dormitory door behind him. Flopping onto his bed, James stared up at the ceiling and listened to the silence of the room.
Throughout the train ride back home for Christmas, James had pondered the question he had about his emotions over coming him. He would gaze out the window at the passing trees, flat farm land, and mountains with the scenes at the Christmas party, his argument with Sirius, and with Audrey, all swirling around inside his brain. By the time he had gotten off the train, he had known the answer to his question: The reason he was so full of raw emotion was because he loved Lily Evans with so much heart that it hurt.
As Christmas drew on, he wondered how he had ever come to like Lily Evans in the first place. What was so special about her? There were many, various girls in the school he could have yearned after, but out of all of them he picked the one that despised him for who he was. Recalling all the past situations, interactions, and things she had done through their past five years together was difficult. Remembering every single detail was tiresome and time consuming on James’s part, for he would spend hours day-dreaming in any spare time he could have to himself.
The festivities going on throughout his house were not as celebrated as he usually found them to be. His relatives had come from various parts of the world to all reside in the Potter mansion. His retired mother and father (as usual) were decorating the house with utmost haste, enjoyment, and excitement.
When James had arrived home in the evening from the train ride, his framed eyes were met with holly, tinsel, glittering Christmas decorations and a large Christmas tree decorated lavishly in the living quarters. Underneath the tree were many wrapped boxes and gifts which signified to James that all his relatives were already residing in the house.
James recalled a moment during the holidays where his parents and relatives had decided to go to a Muggle zoo to see something called “The Zoo Lights”. James had declined the offer in order to have the house all to himself. When everybody had gone via Floo powder, James had walked around the mansion with boredom until he caught site of his grand piano that seemed to tempt him to play. James had walked over and placed a hand on top of the keys and was almost about to play, but decided against it. Instead, he turned off the piano light and walked out of the room, leaving it in darkness.
Throughout Christmas and New Year, James kept a positive attitude around his family. He was still the smart-alec, clever James Potter, but nothing could hide the fact he seemed to be lacking something, though nobody spoke a word about it.
During the break, he received a letter from Audrey in the middle of the night from a grey, peaky looking owl. The letter had a Christmas card attached to it that wished him a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Within the letter, it asked about how he was doing, and whether his break was going well so far. At the end, she wrote that she had spoken to Sirius and explained everything, but she encouraged him to still talk to Sirius one-on-one when he had the chance. James sent a prompt response to her letter (also with a small Christmas card), and sent his grey, black speckled owl to deliver it. He also sent Christmas cards to Remus and Peter, but when it came time to send one to Sirius, James became reluctant.
Would Sirius really just send the card back, even if it contained a lengthy letter and apology? The fact that Audrey did indeed talk to Sirius though was another aspect that James thought about.
After a few contemplating minutes, James tied the letter and card to his owl once again and sent the letter out to number twelve, Grimmauld Place. Even after many days, did not receive a reply.
The holiday season pursued in the same fashion, and before he knew it, he was waving goodbye to his parents and getting back on a train to Hogwarts to start his second semester.
When the train pulled into the station symbolizing an end to a long journey, James stepped out to have the misty, foggy air hit him in the face as he recalled his discoveries to his soul searching: He cried because he loved Lily Evans, but the reason why he loved Lily Evans was still an unsolvable mystery.
Little did he know that he had already answered why he loved Lily Evans, for when somebody truly loves another, it is impossible to define or establish what they like about the other; that knowledge of knowing can only come from the heart, the soul.
James rolled over onto his side uncomfortably before lifting himself off his bed lazily and throwing his trunk open in order to put all of its contents back into their respective places. He threw his jacket carelessly onto his bed with his scarf, and dumped all of his clothing into his large trunk at the bottom of his bed. Tucking the bag underneath his bed sloppily next to his trunk, he fixed the collar of his white and dark green striped shirt and straightened out his grey t-shirt he was wearing underneath it. Rustling the back of his hair with boredom, he glanced outside at the cold, grey atmosphere that was January. Tucking his eleven inch wand into the back of his jeans, he slowly made his way downstairs to the common room.
Once there, his eyes were met with excited chatter about the passed holidays and how it felt good to be back. James glanced around the room wearily and decided that a walk around the halls might clear his head. As he stepped in front of the portrait hole, it swung open to his amazement and standing in front of him was a tall, grey-eyed teenager; Sirius.
For a few moments, the two of them just stared at each other speechlessly until the portrait swung back down to divide the two. Sirius was heard mumbling the password, and the portrait came flying back up once again.
“Hey,” started Sirius breaking the silence first, “do you want to talk?”
The halls were bare seeing as most of the students were found conferencing in their own dormitories about the winter break.
“Oh, I also got a huge bag of Fizzing Whizbees!” exclaimed one girl excitedly to her friend as she passed Sirius and James.
The two girls’ conversation echoed throughout the stone walls as they disappeared out of site.
“Look, Sirius,” began James almost immediately when he knew no one was nearby in ear shot. “I’m really sorry.”
Sirius just listened intently as the two continued to walk.
“I didn’t know you and Audrey had feelings for each other, and I didn’t mean to kiss her. I was just…” James paused slightly to find the correct words. “I was just slightly disappointed about Ev- Lily.”
Sirius exhaled while rolling his eyes. “’Slightly’?”
“Extremely,” corrected James sheepishly. “And everything you said at the Christmas party, everything you told me was right, alright? I should have told you where I was going, and I know I shouldn’t have kissed Audrey. It was unfair to the both of you. You’re my best friend, and I shouldn’t have kept it from you.”
James looked at Sirius unsurely.
“Well, first off, I was wrong. You don’t have to tell me everywhere you’re going, that’s just outright dumb. Another thing is I kept a secret from you, my best friend, about liking Audrey. I’m a downright hypocrite! I should have trusted and told you. The whole thing was just a huge misunderstanding,” answered Sirius with a slight smile.
“Moony, Wormtail, and I sensed something was going on with you,” added James about Sirius liking somebody. “We just guessed the wrong person.”
“So basically, you didn’t know,” stated Sirius plainly.
James chuckled, and so did Sirius.
“Wait a minute!” declared James suddenly, and Sirius turned to gaze at him. “Why didn’t you reply to my Christmas card?”
Sirius rolled his eyes. “Did you really expect me to respond to your two page parchment letter of apology? How could I top that?”
“Well, I am deeply hurt,” replied James playfully.
“Besides, I thought it better that I talk to you in person.”
“That is very noble of you, Padfoot.”
“So what do you say, Prongs? Marauders, again?”
Both of them had stopped walking as Sirius held his hand out toward James.
“Mischief managed,” replied James with a grin as he took Sirius’s hand and shook it.
“Glad I’ve got that off my chest. I was contemplating whether Wormtail or Moony would replace you,” added Sirius jokingly as they started to head back toward the Gryffindor common room.
“You planned to replace me?!” questioned James, pretending to be hurt.
“Well, it was the only good back-up plan I could think of.”
“Yeah, I forgot you aren’t too good coming up with plans.”
Sirius punched him in the arm. “And you are?”
“Better than you.”
The two had entered the common room and made their way up to the dormitory where they found the room still empty. Having plenty to talk about between the two of them, they were silently relieved that the two other Marauders were not around.
“Did you know that Wormtail was going out with Natasha Wellings?” asked James curiously as he lay down on his bed comfortably.
“I had no idea he had it in him,” was Sirius’s answer as he flopped down on James’s bed. “My little Wormtail is becoming so grown up!” Sirius brushed an imaginary tear out of his eye.
“She’s the perfect size for him, that’s for sure,” said James cynically, and Sirius let out a dog like bark of laughter.
James rolled his eyes with a smirk and peered up at the ceiling before inquiring, “So, tell me Padfoot, how did you meet Audrey?”
Ever since he had found out that Sirius had indeed liked Audrey, James was craving to know the answer to this very question.
He saw Sirius shift uneasily and slightly awkwardly before explaining, “I met her…”
~~~
“You bastard of a son!” screamed Mrs. Black as though it were a battle cry of tyranny. “You bring horrid shame to this ancient family!” She threw him onto the marble floor of the entrance as she shut the door with a slam behind her.
Sirius glared up at his mother whose face was contorted in anger. Another teen with eyes identical to Sirius’s ran to the edge of the stair rail to overhear the argument ensuing below.
“I cannot believe you! You traitorous, mud-blood loving fool!” yelled his mother sternly as she drew her wand and pointed it at him dangerously. “Take it back, you arrogant child!”
“I will not take it back!” retorted Sirius angrily, his fists clenched in white anger. “I meant what I said! We’re not any different than any other family! You don’t deserve to say discriminatory comments to anyone! You are just a fool!”
“How dare you! You are ruining our- “
“I am not the one ruining this family, I am the one trying to save it!” hollered Sirius as he felt his face turn a deeper shade of red as his words echoed vibrantly off the hollow walls of the Ancient House of Black.
“’Saving it’?! ‘SAVING IT’?! IF YOU FEEL THAT HUMILIATING ME BY STANDING UP AGAINST ME FOR SOME MUD-BLOOD FAMILY IN DAYLIGHT PUBLIC IS SAVING OUR FAMILY, YOU ARE WRONGLY AND SADLY MISTAKEN!”
The furious, black haired woman shouted a spell that shot out of her wand and hit her son, sending him sliding across the floor brutally bleeding across his face.
“TAKE IT BACK!” she demanded once again, and the teen that looked on from above shivered from his mother’s words of anger.
Take it back. Take it back! prayed Regulus Black frantically.
Unfortunately, Sirius refused to step down to his mother’s demands. He would be strong and retaliate for what was right.
“I WILL NOT!” declared Sirius, and he felt himself fly across the room to bang against a hard, stone wall.
“REGULUS, THIS DOESN’T CONCERN YOU!” commanded Mrs. Black as she caught site of Regulus at the top of the stairs.
She had turned back to face Sirius, but to her dismay, he had disappeared, and she found the door to the ancient house wide open to reveal the pouring rain outside.
Sirius had stumbled through streets and neighborhoods as the giant gash across his face continued to bleed. His clothes were soaked through and through, and his hair stuck to his face and neck due to the rain. His vision was blurring slowly as a result of exhaustion, and he was relieved to stumble into the nearest available shelter that would accept him.
Audrey Filendale had accepted a summer job at a tiny, cozy cafe near her home. She had been looking for one since the beginning of the summer and was glad to receive one so conveniently placed.
One day, the weather had been acting up abnormally bringing bucketfuls of rain and slow business, thus leaving Audrey to tend to no customers. She tucked her hair behind her ear as she flipped a pencil in her left hand. Peering down at the crossword from the Daily Prophet that she had snatched on her way out of her house that morning, she racked her brain for the answer.
A colour that represents a… read Audrey in her head as she re-adjusted her red, short sleeved polo shirt.
Suddenly the glass door to the café flung open to admit a bleeding, weary, soaked Sirius.
Audrey gasped as her eyes landed on his condition.
Tiredly, Sirius made his way to a seat and sat himself down.
After a moment of shock, Audrey reluctantly made her way toward Sirius.
“Are you alright, sir?” she asked shyly as she fidgeted with her white apron.
Sirius glanced up at her and nodded.
“Are you positive? Because you sure don’t look alright,” mentioned Audrey.
She had no idea where those words had come from.
He scowled up at her.
“It was just a question,” she defended as she stepped back from his expression.
“I’m fine,” mustered Sirius impatiently as he looked away from her.
“Well, at least let me get that cut,” persisted Audrey, even though she didn’t know why she was acting so out of character.
“I’m fine,” repeated Sirius with a tint of annoyance to his tone this time.
“You either let me get that cut, or I’ll kick you out for loitering,” stated Audrey matter-of-factly as she pointed to the “No Loitering” sign placed at the front of the door.
Audrey covered her mouth. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t- “
“It’s fine. You can tend to the cut then if you insist upon it.”
Audrey rushed to the back of the room to grab the first aid kit and returned to see Sirius still sitting at the little, round table placed in the corner. She exhaled bravely and placed the kit on the table.
“This might sting a bit,” informed Audrey as she unscrewed a bottle of peroxide.
After tending to his cut, Audrey had brought out a cup of coffee, a spare blanket kept in the stock room for emergencies, and a plate of cookies.
“Thanks,” responded Sirius as Audrey sat across from him.
“Everything alright?” inquired Audrey as he took a sip of the coffee she had put in front of him.
“It’s fine.”
“When someone comes into a room in your state, I hardly doubt they are ‘fine’.”
Audrey hid her astonishment at her words. She never said anything like this to anyone, but maybe the fact that the teen in front of her was in such a distressed state, that she subconsciously needed to be supportive and confident for the two of them.
“It’s nothing,” Sirius informed her frankly.
“’Nothing’ is a very complicated word- “ continued Audrey purposely in order for him to let out what was on his mind.
“It’s my family, alright?” blurted Sirius, and Audrey’s insides burst with relief at progress.
“Your family,” repeated Audrey as the drops of rain continued to patter against the glass window.
~~~
“And the words of frustration I kept in seemed to flow out of me, and she listened so intently. At the end, I told her I’d pay for the cookies and coffee, but she insisted that it was on her. After that day, every time I felt frustrated about anything, I’d go to her at the café, and we’d talk. It was just so…” Sirius trailed off as he glanced at James.
“Comforting?” answered James as he smiled at Sirius.
“Yeah, how did you- “
“Audrey has that aura about her.”
“Well, it’s what I love about her. So, yeah, that’s my story. Satisfied, Prongs?” asked Sirius with a slightly embarrassed grin.
“Not quite yet. One more question.”
“What?”
“Have you snogged her yet?” inquired James jokingly and Sirius pushed him playfully off the bed.
“C’mon, even I have!” replied James teasingly as he lifted himself off the floor.
“I think you should be more concerned about snogging Evans!” retorted Sirius with a smirk.
“Well,” began James, “I shouldn’t be too concerned about that, because I think Lily and I are finished.”
Sirius stared at James with bewilderment.
“She’s with Brendan what’s-his-face now, and I think he would be really good for her,” explained James as he caught site of Sirius’s shocked expression.
“What are you saying, Prongs?”
James faced Sirius with a sad smile as he admitted, “I’m saying that Brendan is what she wants and needs, not me.”
Failing for the First Time by Canadian Confessional
~Chapter Fourteen~
Failing for the First Time
James rustled his scarlet Quidditch robes as he watched his breath swirl around him and then vanish after every time he exhaled. The other members of the Gryffindor Quidditch team glanced around as they waited to be admitted out onto the field. Jennifer Wood (the Gryffindor Quidditch team Captain) nervously adjusted her dark walnut coloured hair that was pulled up in a pony-tail. James rustled the back of his hair as he stretched.
He wasn’t nervous.
“Who in their right mind would plan a Quidditch match on St. Valentine’s Day? Isn’t it supposed to be just a little after?” muttered Keira Jensen, a Gryffindor Chaser who was standing behind James.
“Cheer up, chaps!” announced Jennifer as she eyed Keira with displeasure. “It doesn’t matter what day this is, because we only have one objective when we get out on that field!”
“To freeze?” questioned James smartly as he rubbed his hands together in an attempt to warm them.
The team erupted into laughter.
Jennifer scowled at him momentarily before going on a ramble about how they were inevitably going to win.
James drowned out her words in his thoughts as he glanced down at his feet.
Today was Valentine’s Day. James knew that at this very moment Sirius and Audrey would be “secretly” spending time together.
Since coming back from Christmas, the Marauders and Audrey had agreed that they didn’t want publicity and rumors from the student population circling them endlessly. In light of this information, they had all decided to keep the fact that Audrey and Sirius liked each other a secret from everybody else.
The plan had worked as they intended. A few rumors that Audrey and Sirius might be an “item” circulated for a bit of time shortly after the Christmas break, but eventually, the idea was long forgotten. All rumors shriveled up and disappeared without a trace or second thought. Unfortunately, the only drawback to this “plan” was that the two barely had any time to spend together. Sirius was always surrounded by people, Audrey was busy quite frequently with her friends and schoolwork, and the two were in completely different years and houses. As a result, the two never really got a chance to spend time “secretly” together.
James, upon noticing this, made the suggestion that when everybody was watching the Quidditch game between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, they sneak off and spend time by themselves.
“You sure?” asked Sirius hesitantly the night before the Quidditch game. “I never like to miss a good game.”
“I’m sure,” reassured James. “You two just do something together. You haven’t done anything yet.”
At that moment, the players walked out onto the pitch to cheering screams and a sea of gold, scarlet, black, and yellow. The pitch was littered with patches of melting ice and snow, and the sky above was a dreary pale colour. All the audience members were bundled up tightly with thick coats, scarves, cloaks, gloves, and toques. The cheering fans were all waving around banners and colours supporting their team. James peered around the stands to catch sight of a bright red banner that read: JAMES POTTER WE LOVE YOU!
He chuckled and then lined up with the rest of his team mates. As Jennifer Wood stepped forward to shake the hand of the Hufflepuff Captain, James glanced up.
For a moment, his breath got caught in his throat as he saw her grasp the hand of a tall, muscular, dark brown haired teen; Brendan Fraser.
James hid his surprise. He had completely forgotten the fact that Brendan Fraser was the Hufflepuff Seeker and Captain. Did the fact he was playing against Lily’s boyfriend change anything?
Madam Hooch nodded to both Captains who walked back to their respective teams after their handshake.
“Alright, I want a decent, fair game. No foul play,” stated Madam Hooch fairly while glancing at both teams. “OK, mount your brooms.”
James sat on top of his Nimbus 1500 comfortably and tightened his grip on it. Members of both teams instinctively did the same.
Madam Hooch stepped back slowly and then blew her silver whistle sharply. All the team members shot high into the air, and they were off.
James was the first to grasp the Quaffle out from the hands of a Hufflepuff Chaser. He zoomed through the crowd of players smoothly in the direction of the Hufflepuff side. Curving his broom abruptly to avoid a Bludger, James flung the Quaffle toward his right to have Keira Jensen grasp it easily. Suddenly, a Bludger was shot in her direction and hit the edge of her broom causing the Quaffle to fly out into the middle of the field. James saw the Quaffle go over his head and into the hands of a Hufflepuff Chaser heading in the direction of the Gryffindor goal.
“Wow! There goes Devlin!” shouted Naomii into a magical megaphone on the commentator’s podium. “Oh, she’s going to the Gryffindor goal! She’s about to shoot- no wait, she passes it to Clarke, and he scores!”
James peered in the direction of the Gryffindor goal to see that it had indeed gone in.
Narrowly avoiding a Bludger heading his way, James overtook a Hufflepuff Chaser to grasp the Quaffle.
“Now, James Potter has clutched the Quaffle right from under Devlin’s nose. He is speeding away with it,” announced Naomii, and a wave of giggles and screams came from a group of girls in the audience. “Oh, he’s passed it to Callihan. The two have crossed over. Chaser Jensen has just dodged Chaser Devlin and is heading toward the two. Chaser Callihan passes it to Jensen, Jensen to Potter, Potter back to Callihan, and- he scores!”
The crowd of Gryffindors erupted in cheers as they clapped excitedly and waved their Gryffindor banners.
James smirked as he turned on his broom, and he was about to go after the Quaffle once again when suddenly something caught his eye.
Sitting on the top row of one of the stands were Audrey and Sirius. The two were cuddled up beside each other comfortingly as their eyes met James’s. James gave both of them a look of bewilderment as the two waved frantically at him with smiles painted on their faces.
I say you can do “anything", and you decide to take her to the Quidditch game? You really do hate to miss a game, don't you, Padfoot? thought James with a grin as he sped off in the direction of the Gryffindor end.
“And James Potter is at it again! He has just stolen the Quaffle from an unsuspecting Chaser Clarke! Oh, and he passes it to Callihan while barely avoiding a Bludger- he is sure cutting it short- and Callihan passes it to- oh, it was intercepted by Chaser Buckle from the Hufflepuff team. Buckle is heading toward- OUCH- she just got hit by a Bludger, poor girl.”
James circled around the field once again and caught site of Keira Jensen about to be cut off by a Hufflepuff Beater. He dove down immediately right under her and called out to her. She glanced down quickly, and with lightening speed, she threw the Quaffle down at James who caught it handily. The Hufflepuff Beater glared at James annoyingly and banged a Bludger toward him, but he smoothly moved out of the way. Weaving through a crowd of Chasers, James moved across the field and shot the Quaffle passed the Hufflepuff Keeper.
“And James Potter scores!” announced Naomii ecstatically as the score changed to have Gryffindor in the lead.
James pushed his hair back with a smile as he passed a crowd of girls on his broom. They stood up and squealed with delight as he sped away, chuckling to himself.
He gazed up as the Gryffindor Keeper (whose name was Gordon Flam) neatly deflected the Quaffle from going into a Gryffindor hoop. Cory Callihan, a Gryffindor Chaser, swooped over a Hufflepuff Beater and clutched the Quaffle. James nodded toward Cory and zoomed toward the Hufflepuff end.
“Chaser Callihan is speeding away with Chaser Potter, and it looks like they are going to do a two on one!” shouted Naomii once again.
Without looking in front beforehand, James glanced behind his shoulder at Cory speeding toward him like the wind.
“POTTER, WATCH OUT!” screamed Jennifer Wood’s voice abruptly, and James faced forward to feel a black, hard Bludger slam against his shoulder.
The force of the Bludger made him lose his grip on his broom, and he toppled over. He reached fruitlessly for the handle, but saw that he had just missed it as he began to fall. Suddenly, at the edge of his eye, he caught site of the Quaffle coming toward him. It had seemed that Cory Callihan had thrown the Quaffle right before he saw James fall over.
Turning, so he was facing the ground, James grabbed the Quaffle and shut his eyes to concentrate on his broom.
C’mon! C’mon! C’mon! focused James in his mind.
To everybody’s surprise (including James’s), his Nimbus came flying down under him, and he gripped the handle. Heaving himself onto his broom roughly and quickly, he tightened his grasp on the Quaffle. The Hufflepuff Keeper (and everybody else) seemed to be so stunned at James’s dexterity and talent that she had no time to react as James threw the Quaffle into a ring to score.
A loud roar of cheers and approval came from the Gryffindor end, and even some Hufflepuff students had to admit that it was an amazing play.
James peered down at the audience and spotted Remus and Peter clapping excitedly with Natasha. He noticed Peter sling an arm around a smiling Natasha bashfully as Remus gave James the thumbs up.
“WOW! WHAT AN AMAZING SHOT FROM JAMES POTTER! When everybody thought he was down and out, he comes back to surprise you by catching his broom on the way down and scoring! Just amazing ladies and gentlemen! Hufflepuff wants to make it even though. Buckle has just clutched the Quaffle! She passes it to Clarke, then to Devlin, and she scores! That was one fancy goal!” came Naomii’s voice.
As James was making his way toward the Hufflepuff end, a Bludger came zooming right in front of him, and he saw Luke Brown (a Gryffindor Beater) in pursuit of it.
“Sweet shot, mate!” complimented Luke as he shot the Bludger strongly in the direction of a Hufflepuff Chaser.
“Thanks!” replied James with a somewhat cocky smirk as he went in the direction of the Quaffle.
“And here comes Buckle speeding out from the Hufflepuff end, but “OH- she just got hit by another Bludger. Terrible luck that girl is having today. Now, Jensen has the Quaffle!”
James was about to follow Keira in order to help her score when he noticed something at the very corner of his eye.
Fluttering near the bottom of the Hufflepuff goal posts was the golden Snitch. It moved very quickly and somewhat skittishly, and it was so close to the ground that it almost touched a bumpy ice patch.
James immediately shot a glance at Jennifer who was seen squinting around the Gryffindor end for the Snitch. James swerved his head around to see Brendan Fraser above him.
Shit, shit, shit. he thought instantly, as he saw Brendan catch site of what had distracted him.
Instinctively, Brendan dove down toward the ground passing James in the process while gripping his broom tightly and with utmost concentration.
Without thinking about it or really contemplating his actions, James shot down like a bullet after Brendan. As he did so, he saw the ground and the golden Snitch coming closer and closer to him every second.
It does matter. whispered James in his head as he started to over-take Brendan.
It seemed like the anger that James had felt the night he saw Lily kissing Brendan at the Christmas party came surging into him and into his broom as it sped up. All the images of that night flooded back into his eyes and mind, and whatever he had said before about how Brendan was meant to be with Lily did not matter now. He was now going after the Snitch not just to prevent Hufflepuff from winning, but to spite Brendan Fraser; to humiliate him and triumph. That was James Potter’s goal now.
Brendan glanced to the side to see to his huge astonishment, James Potter (instead of Jennifer Wood, the Gryffindor team’s Seeker) reaching out and competing for the Snitch right next to him. Brendan pulled most of his weight toward the ground in order to get ahead of James.
“There goes Jensen, and she- HOLD THE FLOOR POWDER!” boomed Naomii suddenly. “I think Brendan Fraser from Hufflepuff has spotted the Snitch! He’s diving down at an extremely high speed! Oh, and in hot pursuit is Jenni- no, wait- it’s… JAMES POTTER?!”
James’s block of cheering fan girls screeched as they rose to their feet along with the rest of the audience. Everybody’s eyes were met with astonishment at James and Brendan competing for the Snitch. Both students were heading straight for the ground, neither one decreasing speed.
Abruptly and quickly, the Snitch changed direction and skidded away toward the left. The two pulled back instinctively on their brooms to turn sharply in order to follow it.
“WOW! This is amazing broom handling skills! First years that want to be on the Quidditch teams next year had better take note!”
Brendan and James remained head-to-head, and it seemed that the rest of the players had stopped playing in order to watch. The on-lookers (which included the professors) were hushed into silence, and even Madam Hooch had completely ignored her refereeing duties to watch.
James gritted his teeth hard as he reached out even further and stretched his fingers to their greatest extent. At the same time, he urged his broom forward even more in one last attempt to finish the game and catch the Snitch right from under the nose of Brendan Fraser.
Then, without warning, James caught site of something disrupting his vision. It was if the “image” was right in his face, but then (after adjusting the focus of his eyes) he noticed that the image was right on the lenses of his round-rimmed glasses. The picture startled him greatly for he saw that it was a disbelieving, disappointed, upset expression of Lily Evans. He gasped slightly and blinked a couple times to see that the image had disappeared.
Shaking his head, James once again reached out to catch the Snitch. It was within his reach, and Brendan had fallen behind ever so slightly. As he was about to wrap his fingers around the small, golden, wriggling ball, he thought of the image of Lily’s disgusted expression. Then, without an explanation and without using his brain or senses, he hesitated. It was enough hesitation for Brendan to speed up for one last attempt and catch the Snitch triumphantly.
James hovered on his broom deflated as Brendan went up into the air and showed the crowd the struggling Snitch tightly grasped within his hand. The audience burst into loud applause.
Naomii yelled the score out to the crowd, declared the end of the game, and the win to Hufflepuff. The rest of the players (depending on which team they were on) touched down on the ground in cheers or disappointment.
James dismounted his broom, and before any of his team mates could give him a questioning expression, or before Jennifer could come and holler outraged remarks at him, he left the field and slipped into the change room filled with regret, doubt, shame, and most of all; failure.
A/N: I just want to say thank you to all readers and reviewers! You guys/gals are awesome! I also hope everybody had a good holiday! I just wanted to say in response to some e-mails and reviews that I just try to update as soon as possible. Thanks ya'll!
The End of the Beginning by Canadian Confessional
~Chapter Fifteen~
The End of the Beginning
James sighed heavily as he grasped his scarlet Quidditch robes off a nearby, wooden change room bench. His Nimbus 1500 lay to the right of him, and he glanced down at it momentarily before exhaling sharply.
The change room was empty. There was not a single soul present as James Potter stood gazing in contemplation at a wall in front of him. A ringing in his ear became apparent from this silence, and his train of thought was broken as he looked once again down at his broomstick.
After James had left the pitch, the Hufflepuff team had dismounted onto the ground and hugged each other tightly to express their victory. The Hufflepuff crowd had erupted into cheers and chants as the Gryffindor team made their way sulkily into the change room, copying what James had done a few minutes ago. Most of the Gryffindors were silent as they changed. None of them brought up anything that happened, nor did they complain about losing the game as they would normally do. Even Jennifer Wood remained quiet. Usually, she would be lecturing everybody on new strategies she had already come up with, and how the next practice was when she was going to put these techniques into place. Today though, there was nothing but awkward silence that remained until every Gryffindor Quidditch player had left, save James Potter.
Click.
James turned to the side to notice a fiery redheaded girl standing there, looking at him with her arms crossed sternly. At her entrance, James noticed a slight smell of cinnamon (that the girl always appeared to carry) drift into the crisp air. She was bundled up in her coat and scarf.
He sighed wearily.
For a moment, the two just stared at each other speechlessly. Lily carried an expression of disgust and disappointment, and James held a tired appearance that explained that he had no idea what to say or think.
“What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be celebrating with Brendan or something?” inquired James, the first one to break the dead air.
“Just because we are dating doesn’t mean we have to be around each other twenty-four hours a day. We have an understanding, unlike some people.”
James rolled his eyes as if to say, “Oh, brother.”
“Why did you do it?” inquired Lily, clearly ignoring James’s rude gesture.
“Do what?”
After James had asked, he knew it was the most arrogant question to reply with.
“You know bloody well what I mean,” answered Lily sharply as her arms remained crossed. “Why did you go after the Snitch when you know only a Seeker is allowed to catch it? You of all people would know that since you are absolutely Quidditch oriented and obsessed. If I do recall correctly, the foul you almost committed is called a ‘Snitchnip’.”
“I didn’t want Hufflepuff to win the game. I was trying to interfere. Is that such a crime?” questioned James swiftly.
Lily laughed cynically. “You didn’t want Hufflepuff to win? Is that your lame excuse? You’ll have to do better than that to fool me. I know very well that you went after that Snitch in order to spite Brendan. You completely forgot the rules out of jealousy.”
“Well, if you knew the answer then why did you even bother asking me?” retorted James as he chucked his Quidditch robes into his bag, grasped his broom, and slung the black bag over his right shoulder.
“I wanted to make sure I was right,” said Lily in an attempt to clear up the issue.
“Well, aren’t you always right?” asked James as he walked over toward Lily and the door.
“That is so arrogant of you, Potter. You are acting so sarcastic now just because I’m dating Brendan. Are you really that low?”
James stiffened briefly at the sound of her words, but she hadn’t noticed. She was too heated up in argument to notice.
“Things can’t always go your way, Potter, and trying to catch that Snitch from Brendan was so disgusting. You aren’t even the bloody Seeker! If it wasn’t Brendan, you wouldn’t have gone after that Snitch. You would have stuck to the rules!”
“Fair? You’re lecturing me about ‘fairness’?! That’s a good one, Evans. Might I recall the one who cast a spell on the lenses of my glasses?”
“I did that to make it fair for Brendan! I was making it fair for him!”
“You’re just saying that because he is your boyfriend.”
“No, I’m not. I’m saying it because I know when somebody is being a real bloody jerk, and it is my responsibility as a person to put those people in their place!”
Lily had not noticed that her arms were no longer crossed but gesturing in front of her to get her frustration across.
“Move out of the way,” stated James edgily as he towered over Lily who was blocking the Quidditch change room doors. “I don’t want to continue with this conversation.”
“No, this ‘conversation’ is your own fault,” replied Lily resiliently and stubbornly.
“Move, Evans.”
“No.”
James sighed as he re-adjusted his strap from his black bag.
“Please move, Evans.”
“No, but nice try.”
James exhaled sharply in agitation, but Lily did not seem intimidated at his irritation or large body build.
“Get to the point, Evans. What do you want?”
“I want you to apologize to Brendan, Jennifer, and the rest of the Gryffindor team. It wasn’t your place to almost cost the team a major foul. Also, you had no right to play Jennifer’s part as Seeker, and it was not your place to go after the Snitch and compete with Brendan. These apologies are all needed because of your stupid ‘crush’ on me.”
“You make all these accusations of me about going after the Snitch, but how do you know that I would never- “ James paused slightly to contemplate his word choice before continuing with, “-interfere if it was someone else?” he questioned with a deep frown.
“Oh, come on. Ever since I have known you, I have never witnessed such a competitive crave and desire in your eyes. Did you really feel that competing for the Snitch was really the same as competing for me? Was that your analogy?”
James sighed as he rolled his eyes before saying, “You always think it’s about you, don’t you, Evans?”
Lily was slightly taken aback at his comment that she gave him enough time to hastily grasp the door handle of the change room and slide through. Lily regained herself quickly and caught up with him trudging his way across the grounds back towards Hogwarts.
“What is that supposed to mean?” interrogated Lily rather offended as she walked beside him.
“Well, if you know everything, you should tell me.”
James’s pace quickened, but Lily remained with him as they both walked passed a patch of snow left behind from winter.
“Stop being so cynical, Potter. You know what I mean.”
“If my head is so bloated with self-arrogance, I probably don’t know what you mean.”
“The sarcasm you are using is sick and immature.”
“Really? Funny, it sounds a lot like someone else’s, don’t you think?”
“Stop changing the bloody subject, and tell me what in Merlin’s name you meant before!” demanded Lily, her anger and tone rising.
“Won’t you be so kind as to remind me what your question was?” asked James sarcastically as he continued to walk with a quick pace.
“Fine, don’t tell me then! Be a conceited, cocky toerag for the rest of your life! I thought you were changing, James Potter. I saw you play the piano, and I appreciated how you took the blame for me so many times. I also read that note where you were tutoring that fourth year girl. I really thought you were maturing up. But then you do something foolish like this, and I know my original thoughts about you were correct. All you are is a bullying, incompetent fool that only likes to hex other, poor, defenseless people for fun in order to make himself feel better. You treat people disrespectfully, and you have this impression that all girls and people are just meant to like you. You are nothing but an egoistic person, and you just want to have me because I am the only girl you will never be able to have.”
James stopped abruptly and turned to look at her. The sudden motion had startled Lily slightly but not noticeably.
The two were now present in the Entrance Hall.
“You know what, Evans?” began James, his frustration apparent. “You talk as if you know me as a person, but I know perfectly well what you think of me is so wrong and prejudged that you never gave me a chance or the light of day. You think I love you because you are the only girl I have never been able to ‘have’. Let me get this straight for you, OK? Everything I have ever done in front of you, and everything idiotic I have ever said to you was all because of you. Maybe you never truly understood that, so don’t lecture me on things you don’t understand or know about. I thought a lot about that night at the Christmas party where you snogged Brendan so ‘passionately’. Then I came to wonder: why do I waste my time on a girl that will never love me the way I love her? I love the one girl that I would give the world for, and all she knows how to do is rip my heart out. I think about it now, and see that I was a fool. I wasted my time and my freedom of thought because all of it was occupied by you, and only you. I see now that the one girl I could never ‘get’ is the same one that hates me with the most extreme, utmost, unbelievable hate that will never turn into anything more than that. That same girl is also the one girl I am better off to live my life without. So, after all this time, effort, and wasted attempts, I hope you’re happy now. Isn’t this what you wanted; for me to leave you alone and get the hell out of your life? Everything I do now has nothing to do with you, and I’m sorry if it is arrogant, conceited, and what other bloody hell it is, but that’s the way I am. So don’t you dare waste your bloody time or mine on me. There you go, Evans, you can have a peace of mind now. You no longer have to expect me breathing down your neck or asking you out. You’ll have all the time in the world now since you have no one else to lecture, or maybe you’ll find somebody else? Whatever your plans are, they will no longer include me, because it’s over, Evans. It’s over.”
As Lily surveyed James she felt so many emotions at the same time, she didn’t know how to feel. It was true she had never thought that James Potter could actually and truly be serious about his feelings towards her, but the way he acted was still inexcusable and frustrating. She felt torn between guilt of prejudging him, and satisfied that he admitted he was disrespectful and wrong.
The choice of whether she wanted to continue complaining, apologize, or slap him across the face did not matter, for her calmness was the first thing to take a hold of her words.
“Well, I’m glad we have that straightened out, Potter, and I am relieved to hear that you have ‘given up’ on me. It might just be the smartest decision you have ever made. I see now that lecturing you on your actions has been a waste of my time, and has been inevitably fruitless. Thank you for describing to me so fully your disposition. I believe we will no longer have any further interactions with each other.”
The two faced each other, and each observed that the other’s face was crimson from the cold. Lily glanced up at him with her piercing green eyes and saw him gaze back at her with his strong hazel ones. Deciding purely on instinct, the two parted from each other at the same time in opposite directions.
Lily whipped her blazing red hair behind her and walked gracefully away from him with all the composure she could muster. With each step she took, however, she couldn’t shrug the uneasy feeling that she was walking away from something special. Turning away from James Potter created an unknown sadness within her: a sadness she couldn’t quite explain.
James had told her it was over because he felt that he needed to let go. He couldn’t let his jealous emotions for her control him. For crying out loud, he had forgotten an obvious and actual Quidditch rule by trying to catch the Snitch. He wasn’t the bloody Seeker! He would have committed a huge foul. His envy was causing him to be manipulated so easily into doing almost anything (even if it was wrong) that remotely concerned her. That was why he needed to hear him say his own words to make him realize the reality that Lily was, and would always be, out of his reach. He couldn’t dwell on something that wasn’t there. Lily was taken, and that was the harsh truth.
Oh, but how heart broken he was.
Little did Lily know, James Potter had stopped mid-step to turn and gaze at her as she walked away to take one last, longing picture of her in his mind before he would never pursue her again.
Cold Fog by Canadian Confessional
~Chapter Sixteen~
Cold Fog
The snow patches of dreary February would eventually disappear as warm weather came around with March and April. The brown grass finally turned green, and more and more students ventured outside for fresh air. Many felt relieved to no longer be cooped up inside. Birds were seen migrating back, flowers were springing up once again, and leaves were reappearing prominently on all trees. Nature seemed renewed enough to return once again.
James Potter, however, barely noticed any of it, if at all. His argument with Lily back in February still came into his thoughts more than he would have liked, and the “peace of mind” he had talked about clearly wasn’t what he had. He spent many nights lying on his bed ridden with sleeplessness, and during those moments of insomnia, he possessed all the time in the world. There was nothing to do but think though, and think about Lily Evans was usually what he did.
On the other hand, no longer waiting for Lily had its benefits.
His usual nervous, show-off attitude he had around Lily vanished immediately. He no longer had to think of new ways to ask Lily out. James didn’t sweat or ruffle his hair as much every time he caught the smallest trace of her. He didn’t have to badger the Marauders for advice or tell them about the dumb thing he had done around her. Even when James saw Brendan Fraser, he no longer welled up in jealousy or anger but felt slightly glad that Lily was with somebody that would make her happy.
As the months passed, James had to agree with the rest of the Hogwarts' student body that Lily Evans and Brendan Fraser were quite the couple. They were seen holding hands between classes with Lily cocking her red head to lean on Brendan’s built shoulder. They were also often found giggling and laughing while they studied together in the library. Lily and Brendan both had busy schedules (seeing as he had Quidditch practice, and she had prefect duties), but they both managed to always spend a little bit of time together almost everyday.
One eventful scene James could recall was when he couldn’t help himself glance at Lily and Brendan talking to each other during dinner. At the time, James was chewing on a piece of chicken while Remus explained a charms lesson to a group of girls. Sirius and Peter were engaged in conversation about Natasha and Audrey. As James grasped a cup of pumpkin juice, he looked up to see Brendan lean over slowly, whisper something in Lily’s ear, and kiss her lightly on the lips.
James had coughed and spluttered a bit on his juice. Remus had stopped talking mid-sentence to ask if James was alright, and even Sirius and Peter turned to him.
“You alright there, Prongs?” asked Sirius.
“Fine,” gasped James while clearing his throat, “just fine.”
Meanwhile, the fact that Sirius Black was dating Audrey Filendale finally spread throughout the whole of Hogwarts. On Valentine’s, Sirius announced his frustration of all this “secrecy”, and the two both agreed they were much better off facing the publicity and being together openly. Girls were just a bit more than jealous and couldn’t quite seem to pinpoint what was so great about that “purple haired freak”. Audrey didn’t seem to mind though and ignored the gossip completely.
James was happy to see the two as a couple, but he missed the Astronomy Tower lessons he had had with Audrey. He longed to talk to her one-on-one again without Sirius being there. There were occasionally a few times they would briefly talk between classes, but never enough time to have a full on conversation like they used to.
After James had come back from Christmas break, Audrey had said that she was finally starting to understand Transfiguration, and that she no longer needed the lessons.
“If I need any help, I can ask you, Sirius, Peter, or Remus,” explained Audrey. “You don’t have to worry about me, James.”
James knew he didn’t need to worry about Audrey. He needed to worry more about himself.
Still, James enjoyed seeing Sirius be so wrapped up on Audrey. He remembered when Sirius came back from a Hogsmeade outing with Audrey in April. Sirius had come inside the dormitory with a dreamy, glossy eyed look, and Remus and James both inquired immediately how his date had gone.
“We,” was the first word to come out of Sirius’s mouth, “kissed.”
“Finally!” declared James with relief as he leaned back on his bed. “My little Padfoot is finally a man!”
“I have kissed a girl before, Prongs,” retorted Sirius playfully.
“You’ve never meant it before though,” said Remus smartly, and James chuckled.
“He’s got a point, mate,” stated James with a grin.
Sirius had flopped onto his own bed to explain in full detail how it had happened.
He talked about how Audrey had clung onto his arm gently and leaned against him as the two went into The Three Broomsticks. The two had ordered a butterbeer, and they talked for what seemed like hours. Finally, the two exited the café (tipping Madam Rosmerta for her kindness) and walked along the cobblestone streets of Hogsmeade. On their way back, Sirius had bought Audrey some sweets from Honeydukes, and she was extremely flattered by his simple gesture.
When the two had finally made their way back to Hogwarts, they strolled around the lake until the sun finally began to set. The two both stood underneath a beech tree as they watched the sun’s beams reflect off the water. They gazed in silence with Sirius having his arm around Audrey’s shoulder, until Audrey glanced up at him.
“Sirius Black,” she had said, “you are the most amazing person that I have had the greatest luck to meet and be with.”
Sirius had smiled back at her, “You are unlike anybody I have ever met, Audrey Filendale. You have the sweetest heart and the greatest understanding of any individual I have known. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
With that, Audrey had closed her eyes with that familiar shyness that James and Sirius grew accustomed to love. Sirius had leaned down and kissed her.
James could have sworn that Sirius had blushed ever so slightly after the telling of the story.
Meanwhile, Peter seemed to also be wrapped up with a girl, Natasha Wellings. The Marauders finally discovered that Peter met Natasha while studying in the library and asked her to go to the Christmas Party with him a few days before the party. The tiny, blond girl that Peter had introduced to James and Remus was now seen almost permanently with Peter Pettigrew. The two both ate together, walked to classes together, and studied together. There was barely a moment that the two were apart.
“C’mon Wormtail, just one prank,” said Sirius one night in the Gryffindor common room in an attempt to get Peter to go out with himself and James to pull a prank.
“Why don’t you ask Moony?” replied Peter with a frown.
“Why don’t you do some pranks with us? Besides, Moony is busy ‘studying’ with some other people,” explained Sirius as he sat down on a large, furnished arm chair.
“You don’t bug him.”
“Well, that’s because Moony is Moony.”
“I don’t care. I’m going to go spend time with Natasha.” And Peter slid out of the portrait hole rather offended.
Sirius rolled his eyes before he turned to James coming down the boys’ dormitory stairs and asked, “What’s his problem?”
Remus Lupin was also wrapped up in his own life. After his conversation with James at the Christmas party, he seemed to loosen and open up. He was often found talking to many different people; popular and not-popular. Remus was extremely busy jumping to and fro between different groups of people and talking to everybody. His friendly nature was a turn on with many, and they all appreciated his company. He was becoming even more popular than he already was.
“Moony, you’ve been pretty occupied with many fine looking ladies recently,” said Sirius one night in their dormitory, and Peter peered up from his thick book to glance at Remus curiously.
“Might I remind you that you do have a girlfriend,” replied Remus sarcastically, and James and Peter let out a snort of laughter.
Sirius scowled before saying, “Is there anything you want to tell us?”
Remus glanced at Sirius with a smirk and replied, “No, not that I know of.”
Sirius raised an eye brow. “There is something you’re hiding. You haven’t been this loose since...” He paused because he couldn’t really recall when the last time was. “Well, whatever the last time was. Something has got to be up!”
Remus shrugged nonchalantly and shot a grateful smile at James that Sirius did not catch. James chuckled to himself and plopped into bed.
The Marauders were busy with their own business and personal lives, but that still didn’t stop them from getting together.
One late night, the Marauders had all decided to work on the Marauder’s Map. Getting all four of them to work on the map was a bit difficult, however. It took a lot of bribing on Sirius’s part to get Peter to not go out and spend time with Natasha. It also required persuading from James to stop Remus from going to a pre-arranged social get together. Finally though, the four close friends were together in their dorm.
Getting the four together was not the only problem though.
After many hours with fiddling around with the map with no success, the four were almost about to give up for the night when Remus yelled a random spell out of frustration. The spell ended up hitting the map and created a hundred glowing, red sparks. The four boys cautiously approached the piece of parchment to see that it showed all the names of the people in the building with a dot representing each person.
The friends laughed hysterically for what seemed like hours until deciding to try it out by hexing Mrs. Norris, Filch’s cat. To the delight of the Marauders (and the horror of Filch), Mrs. Norris was turned into a can of sardines, and with the help of the map, the four were not caught.
All in all as the months passed, all the Marauders (with the exception of one member) seemed to be happy and satisfied with their lives. The relationship between Sirius and Audrey seemed to be going extremely smoothly (almost too smoothly in James’s opinion), and Peter dating Natasha brought out a certain small confidence in Peter. Remus was enjoying more of his time than any of his previous years, and he became looser and easy going around other people.
Even though the happiness of his friends was what mattered most to James Potter, he still felt a lingering emptiness as if he were missing a part of himself. No one noticed though, for everybody else was too occupied with their own intentions to notice.
James glanced outside. The rain fell hard onto the grounds of Hogwarts, and the sky was engulfed in a grey tint. He sighed as a small shiver made its way up his spine. He clutched his broom tighter in his hand and exhaled as he listened to the pitter patter of the rain drops on the stone steps before him. All of a sudden, without warning, James started to sprint across the green field of the Hogwarts grounds towards the Quidditch pitch as bucketfuls of rain splattered him in the face. He could have ridden his broom, but a sudden urge to get wet and out of breath abruptly came to mind.
Jennifer Wood had called a practice and said that even if it was windy, raining, thundering, or whatever the hell it was, there would be a practice, and attendance would be crucial. Everybody knew Jennifer’s serious attitude toward Quidditch, but the team always slightly doubted her common sense.
Clearly, the team was complaining when James clambered into the change room, soaked from head to toe, wheezing and panting for air.
“It’s a hazard!” complained Keira Jensen, always the first to do so. “It’s bloody raining outside, Jen! NO WAY can we go out there! At least one of us is going to catch a cold in this weather, and then we’ll have to get that stupid Hanson kid to replace one of us!”
The whole team shuddered at the thought. Harold Hanson was a third year spare player who was good enough to play Quidditch but didn’t seem to comprehend the meaning of “teamwork”.
“Hey! Suck it up, team!” barked Jennifer in an attempt to get everybody fired up.
The whole team groaned.
“Can’t we at least wait till the rain stops?” questioned Luke Brown, a Gryffindor Beater. “At least then there is less likely chance that any of us will get hurt.”
Jennifer raised an un-amused eyebrow. “Do any of you know how hard it is to book the Quidditch pitch especially at the last minute?!”
“Well, if you booked the pitch ahead of time then it wouldn’t be so hard,” said James smartly as he squeezed water out of the edge of his robes.
The whole team laughed in agreement.
Jennifer scowled at him furiously before clearing her throat. “Alright troops, here is the plan.”
She un-scrolled a piece of parchment and started to lecture the whole team on new techniques and moves that she was planning to enforce against the final game versus Ravenclaw.
This game was the one to make it or break it.
“Everybody got it?” asked Jennifer after an hour of explaining and planning.
Everyone nodded reluctantly.
As Jennifer grinned smugly, she ripped open the door of the change room to come face to face with an unusual site. Instead of heavy rain like everybody expected, the whole pitch was covered with thick fog. Barely anybody could see the rings, let alone two feet in front of their face.
“We can’t possibly go out in that!” complained Keira immediately as the rest of the team gawked in astonishment at the density of the fog.
“Come on, people!” exclaimed Jennifer with exasperation. “Stop making lame excuses and get on those brooms!”
Hesitantly, the team mounted their brooms and shot into the air carefully at the same time. James clutched his Nimbus tightly as he squinted in the distance at who he thought was Cory Callihan.
“Pass it!” yelled James into the fog, and suddenly the Quaffle came flying at him.
He grasped it and zoomed roughly toward the goal posts. Once there, he saw a figure blocking the goals. He was about to throw it into a post when suddenly, a Bludger came out of nowhere and banged against the back of his broom. The collision made him spin awkwardly and lose grip on the Quaffle.
“Keira!” shouted James in the distance but there was no response.
“James!” came a voice, and almost out of thin air popped Luke Brown.
“Luke, where the hell is everybody?!”
“I have no idea. You can’t see bloody anything in this mess.”
“Tell me about it.”
James and Luke circled around the thick fog until they nearly bumped into Keira who also seemed to be browsing around the pitch for the rest of the team.
“Oh, thank God!” said Keira with relief. “I thought everybody had left or something!”
“Are we even practicing? ‘Cause to be honest, I think we’re more looking out to prevent something or someone getting hurt than on our game plan,” stated Luke with a sigh.
A Bludger flew its way passed the three of them without warning, nearly hitting them.
“Holy shit, was that a Bludger?!” yelped Keira as the Bludger continued on in the distance.
“I’m guessing so,” answered James with disbelief.
“You three slackers hurry it up over there! Enough chit-chat!” barked Jennifer from out of nowhere.
“She can see us?!” questioned Keira with bewilderment.
The two boys shrugged comically and then zoomed off in different directions.
James swerved his broomstick to the left around the goal posts and peered around to see Cory with the Quaffle. James swung out in front of Gordon Flam, clutched the Quaffle Cory had passed, and threw it into a goal post to score.
“Dang it, Potter!” yelled Gordon as he saw the Quaffle go in. “I’m having enough trouble seeing as it is! What’s the big idea to score?!”
James laughed, and Gordon replied with, “I don’t think Wood is too happy about this practice.”
“I don’t even think she knows what’s happening in this practice.”
After James talked to Gordon, he flew off in the opposite direction, looking around for the Quaffle once again. Instead, he bumped into Cory Callihan, Keira Jensen again, and also Skye Fornei, the other Gryffindor Beater.
As James was conversing with Skye, the two both had to duck abruptly to narrowly avoid a Bludger.
“That is it!” announced Skye with frustration. “I don’t care what ‘Captain, slave-driver Wood’ says, I am heading down. This is just ridiculous!”
She flew downward gently, and James followed her until the two reached the ground. Once there, they saw that the rest of the team was huddled together in conversation around the change room doors.
“OI! James! Skye!” shouted Cory Callihan. “Over here!”
The two rushed over toward the rest of the team who were complaining in full swing.
“I think someone needs to give her a frickin’, bloody brain check!” Keira criticized fiercely. “I almost got hit by a bloody Bludger! A BLUDGER!”
“I hate to say it, but Keira is right,” remarked Luke half-jokingly while ignoring Keira’s glares. “I think we need to call it a day before somebody gets hurt.”
“I agree on that. I can’t see anything, and my glasses are starting to fog up a lot. We’d better tell Jen,” agreed James as he cleaned his glasses with his Quidditch robes.
“Has anyone seen Jen?” asked Skye with a tone of sudden concern as she glanced around.
The team was suddenly silenced as if a cold sheet of water had just fallen upon them.
“Jen!” called James into the thick blanket of fog but there was only silence that returned to answer him.
“Wood!” shouted Luke and Keira at the same time as Cory yelled the same in another direction.
“I think we should split up and look for her on foot,” said James, worry filling his body every second. “Callihan and Flam, you two go in that direction and circle around the edge of the pitch and meet back here. Luke and Keira, you two search the left side of the pitch. Skye, you’re with me, let’s look through the right half of the pitch.”
The team nodded quickly and hastily rushed over to their assigned spots to look for their captain.
For what seemed like hours, James and Skye searched through the right half of the pitch over and over. The two’s hands both started to become icy cold, and their faces turned a bright scarlet colour, but they continued to search. Then suddenly, a scream pierced the sky.
“Jen!” Skye and James both called as they ran toward the direction of the scream.
The two could faintly see a soft glow of lights being shot up from someone’s wand at the very left end of the pitch. They ran as fast as their chilled legs could carry them, and finally they saw Luke. He was kneeling down fanning Keira with his hand.
“What happened?!” exclaimed Skye as she rushed over toward Keira.
“She fainted when she saw Wood,” said Luke, his face an extremely pale white.
James glanced over next to Keira to see Jennifer Wood. Her dark hair was disarrayed as she lay on her back unconscious. Her head was bleeding slightly from what looked like a large blow to the head, and her left leg was twisted in a direction it couldn’t naturally have gone.
“Oh my God,” breathed Skye as she looked at Jen. “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!”
James saw Cory and Gordon running over toward them as Skye leaned on Luke for support.
“We need to get her to the Hospital Wing!” shouted Gordon in panic as he started to hyper ventilate slightly.
“I’m going to get help!” said James instantly, and before anyone could say another word, he dashed from the scene into the blinding fog as he broke out into a cold sweat.
Poetry by Canadian Confessional
~Chapter Seventeen~
Poetry
“I can’t WHAT?!” were the first words to come out of Jennifer Wood’s mouth as soon as she had regained consciousness.
When James had left his team mates to go get help, he had run through the fog blindly trying to find his way back to the change rooms. After what felt like hours, he finally stumbled into the change rooms and then out them as fast as he came in. He dashed across the Hogwarts grounds and raced into the main entrance. Once there, he saw (most conveniently) Professor McGonagall walking down a nearby hallway and yelled with all his strength to get her attention.
“Potter!” said Professor McGonagall as she came over to a James who was gasping for air. “I’ve been looking for you. Professor Dumbl- “
“Jennifer Wood has been injured in a Quidditch practice! We need to get her to the Hospital Wing, now!” mustered James as he panted to catch his breath.
His cheeks were a dark scarlet colour from the cold and running.
Immediately, Professor McGonagall went into action by contacting Madam Pomfrey and then making her way through the fog with a spell in order to get to Jennifer. She checked if Jennifer was alright, and Madam Pomfrey came rushing out with a floating stretcher a few minutes later to carry Jennifer to the Hospital Wing.
It turned out that Jennifer had been knocked unconscious (presumably by a Bludger) and by falling off her broom had broken her leg in the process. The Bludger inevitably caused a severe concussion to her head and produced a slightly cracked skull.
The team stayed with Jennifer until the late hours of the night when she had just woken up abruptly.
“You’ve got to be bloody kidding me!” yelled Jennifer as her eyes widened at Madam Pomfrey. “I can’t play?! WHY THE BLOODY HELL NOT?!”
Keira and Skye sighed wearily.
“You are unfit to play, Miss Wood,” answered Madam Pomfrey matter-of-factly. “The game is the day after tomorrow. With that concussion, delicate skull, and broken leg, you are in no shape to play.”
“You can cure bones in one night though!” whined Jennifer, and the team groaned.
“I can, but the bones are still sensitive after, and I don’t have anything that can get rid of that concussion. I’m sorry, but you are not going anywhere, and that is final.” With that, Madam Pomfrey turned on her heel and walked into her office, slamming her door along the way.
Jennifer plopped her back irritably onto her pillows again as the team looked at her.
“Now what are we going to do? How are we going to win this game?” asked Keira dejectedly, clearly expressing what the whole team was thinking. She opened her mouth one more time to say “I told you so”, but decided against it.
The rest of the team noticed this and quietly sighed with relief.
Jennifer gazed off in front of her as she put her hand in front of her mouth in a thinking stance. The team peered at Jennifer silently in nervous anticipation.
“I’ve got it!” she shouted suddenly, and the whole team jumped almost two feet into the air. “I’m bloody brilliant, guys! Here’s the plan…”
James yawned as he left the Hospital Wing. Jennifer had run through the “plan” so many times it was tiring. She told them all the techniques that the team needed to use, and all the switches with players she needed to make. Jennifer decided that the best spare to play a Chaser would be a girl in third year named Fiona Locke.
He rumpled the back of his hair as he turned the corner of an empty corridor on his way back to the Gryffindor common room.
Seeker. It was ironic. He was going to play Seeker in replacement of Jennifer.
I wonder what Evans would say. thought James instantly, and just as quickly, he tried to wipe her from his mind.
“James Potter, listen to me,” Jennifer had said when the rest of team had left. “You are playing Seeker in my position, and you are also going to be replacement captain. You had better enforce these plans, do you understand me?!”
“Really Jen, it’s OK. I think we’ve got it- “
“No! Listen to me, Potter! I am giving you a chance to be captain here, and you had better do well with that honor.”
“Jen, really, I don’t need to be capt- “
“Don’t give me crap, Potter! Take my badge, and also- ” She looked around suspiciously and cautiously (even though there was nobody else present in the room) before continuing her sentence, “-I have this special superstition that works every time.”
James stifled a bewildered expression. She was really getting creepy.
“You know the prefects’ bathroom?”
James nodded unsurely.
“Every night before a game, I take a bath in there with bubbles, and I mean a lot of bubbles.”
Don’t laugh, don’t laugh! For Merlin’s sake, don’t laugh, James Potter! shouted James’s conscience.
“So what does that have to do with- “ started James, but he was instantly cut off by Jennifer.
“You prat, Potter!” she snapped. “You have to take a bath in my place!”
“I- What?!”
“You heard me!”
“Are you sure it works every time? I mean what about that last game against Hufflepuff?” questioned James skeptically while praying that he could persuade Jennifer otherwise.
“I didn’t take one.”
“What about that time against Slytherin last year?”
“No bubbles.”
James rolled his eyes.
“Thanks, Potter. The password is ‘gillywater’.”
James slipped into the common room silently and saw the common room fire still burning brightly. Taking a seat in a large arm chair, he stretched and glanced into the flames. As he did so, his thoughts wandered away from him.
He hated to admit it, but he was tired. Not physically, for he felt neither weathered nor fatigued, but mentally: he was exhausted beyond anything he had ever experienced before. It seemed as though there was something tugging at his soul, but he wasn’t quite sure what it was or even if there was anything there at all.
You’re missing a part of yourself, James.
He shook his head uneasily. He was moping like some sad actor in a Muggle soap opera. He couldn’t even forget one, single girl that briefly touched his life, if one could even call that touch “brief”. It wasn’t like he had dated her, or “gone out” with her. His “brief” touch was so brief, it was as if he had never interacted with her at all.
James shifted in his seat uncomfortably to notice something poking him awkwardly in the side. Glancing down, he dug his hand into his pant pocket to pull out a crumpled piece of cream coloured parchment. He abruptly remembered that Professor McGonagall had unnoticeably slipped him a piece of parchment sometime during the whole fiasco with caring for Jennifer in the Hospital Wing.
Unraveling the note carefully, James peered down at it to notice to his great interest that it was in the headmaster’s (Professor Dumbledore) hand writing. The ink curved neatly and fluently into a few short sentences that ended with an entrancing signature that one couldn’t help but admire.
Dear Mr. Potter,
I would like to inform you that I request your company tomorrow night at eight o’clock. There are some items of interest I would be intrigued to discuss. I hope this is of no inconvenience for you, and if it is, please notify me to reschedule. The password is lemon licorice. Thank you for your most gracious time.
Professor Dumbledore
James exhaled after running his eyes swiftly through the paper three more times.
Professor Dumbledore had to talk to him? Why? The headmaster rarely had time to discuss with students, let alone him. He had spoken to Professor Dumbledore before, but had never been invited so formally to a private meeting. Did it have anything to do with his parents? Were they OK?
A jolt of anxiety instantly hit him, and he shot his eyes back down onto the parchment. Luckily, to James’s relief, he noticed that the tone of the letter didn’t seem to fit into discussing a “tragedy” that had happened. It was as if Dumbledore was interested in something, and the letter seemed to hold an almost humorous feel to it.
James lifted an eye brow tiredly and browsed through the letter a few more times before deciding that sleep and time was what he needed right now.
The next day, James wondered about the letter from Dumbledore. He told and showed the letter to the other Marauders during breakfast in the Great Hall. The group was just as curious as James was, but they did not carry any answers.
“Maybe he’s going to teach you how to do some crazy advanced magic!” squeaked Peter excitedly, almost jumping out of his seat from excitement.
“Oh, calm down before you crap your knickers,” Sirius told Peter sharply.
Peter flushed a bright shade of scarlet.
“Well, I guess the only way we’ll find out what the letter means will be by waiting until eight o’clock tonight,” concluded Remus, and the rest of them agreed.
James would just have to be patient.
Unfortunately for him, the time would crawl away slowly. James found himself glancing at the clock in every class he became restless in. His absent-mindedness even began to affect his abilities as he ended up adding too much ivy root into a bubbling cauldron he was working on with Sirius in Potions.
“Whoa, mate! What the hell do you think you’re doing there?!” yelped Sirius as their cauldron turned a dark lavender colour and overflowed onto the table.
The whole class turned to glance at the two back away from the cauldron as the liquid continued to flow out onto the table and then the floor. Professor Slughorn seemed to just become aware that there was a commotion happening in the middle of his classroom.
James instantly whipped out his wand and yelled a spell to turn the over-boiling pot into a large ivy plant.
“Quite ingenious there, Mr. Potter,” came Professor Slughorn’s voice. “I know that Professor McGonagall would be extremely pleased, but unfortunately, this isn’t Transfiguration class.”
The class giggled.
“Well, Professor, I think our creation would work the best to your advantage,” stated James with his mouth curving into a grin.
“Why is that?” questioned Professor Slughorn almost annoyingly.
“We all know how Mrs. Slughorn, your mother, loves ivy plants, and you’ve told us that she has informed you so many times the exact date of her birthday,” said Sirius with a grin plastered on his face as well.
“I believe her birthday was yesterday,” finished James, and Professor Slughorn turned a bright crimson before dashing ungracefully into his office to contact his mother to wish her a happy “belated” birthday.
The class erupted into laughter.
Sirius and James turned to each other as they admired their large, somewhat ugly, ivy plant in triumph.
Finally, eight o’clock rolled around, and James left the dormitory somewhat nervously, though it didn’t show. He ran down a seventh floor hallway with his book bag (carrying a towel, Jennifer’s Quidditch badge, and his invisibility cloak for the bath he would take in the prefects’ bathroom after) slung around his shoulder. His scarlet and gold tie bustled up and down as he swung around a corner. At last, he halted in front of a large, stone, gargoyle statue.
“Lemon licorice,” stated James, and the gargoyle immediately sprang to the side to reveal a huge, spiraling, marble staircase.
Stepping onto a stair, it immediately escalated him upwards to a large, prominent, oak door. James took a deep breath and right before he knocked on the door, it opened to show Professor Dumbledore sitting at his desk.
“Ah, Mr. Potter. Come in,” greeted Dumbledore as James stepped into the grand circular room lined with sleeping portraits. “I am so glad you could make it tonight. I do believe it was a bit of a late notice.”
“Oh, no problem, sir,” replied James, who was suddenly filled with confidence as he approached the headmaster’s claw-footed, oak desk while glancing at the magnificence of the gently lit marble room.
“Take a seat,” said Dumbledore, and James did so. “Lemon drop?” he offered warmly.
James shook his head politely with a smile. “No thank-you, Professor.”
“Lemon licorice? I do say they are my utmost favourite at the moment.”
“Uhh- Sure. Yes please, sir,” replied James as he caught site of a box holding bright yellow coloured sticks behind Dumbledore.
“Ah, excellent choice.” The headmaster swiveled his chair to face the shelf behind him, grasped a yellow stick, and handed it to James.
James felt the rubbery texture of the piece of candy before taking a cautious bite. Professor Dumbledore adjusted his seat and interlocked his fingers on his surprisingly empty desk.
“The lemon, I must say, is much more tasteful than the strawberry,” informed Dumbledore matter-of-factly, and James almost choked on his licorice from stifling a laugh.
“Though I must admit, blueberry is quite ingenious. The black type was very intriguing as well though,” continued Dumbledore.
“You should try the grape flavour sometime,” added James jokingly, and for a split second, he was slightly worried he had perhaps offended the headmaster.
To his relief, however, Dumbledore’s lips curved into a smile.
After swallowing forcefully, James said, “I don’t mean to be rude, sir, but I am in a bit of a rush, and I was wondering why- “
“Why I asked you to come? Oh, dear boy, I thought you’d never ask.” Dumbledore glanced over to a shelf across the room where a thick, leather bound book floated gently onto his desk.
Dumbledore opened the book and flipped through the pages with lightening speed. It surprised James that a person at such an age could “flip” that fast.
“Ah, here it is,” Dumbledore leaned in closer to the large encyclopedia while adjusting his half-moon spectacles. “James potter, you said you’d like to be an Auror in the future, is that correct?”
“That is correct, sir,” replied James curiously.
“And you said you wanted to be one because- “ Dumbledore glanced down and squinted at the paper. “-‘that is the only smart job’?”
James tried to force himself to stay calm, but he couldn’t stop an inevitable blush creep across his face. When he wrote that a year ago, he was just being a bloody, joking jerk. He didn’t expect anybody to actually read it.
Sensing James’s thoughts, Dumbledore continued, “Do not be worried about your answer you wrote, Mr. Potter. In fact, I found it quite entertaining and familiar seeing as I believe I wrote something somewhat similar to that in my fifth year. I recall, however, wording it differently. Perhaps I wrote, ‘I am differently intelligent’? I don’t quite remember the exact words.”
James smiled gratefully.
“May I inform you though, Mr. Potter, that becoming an Auror is not an easy task. Auror training can be extremely difficult and has sometimes taken its toll on the most cleverest and brightest of wizards and witches.”
“Do you not want me to be an Auror, then?” questioned James, slightly reproachful, though he didn’t want to be.
“You misunderstand me, dear boy. I am saying that when one has no interest in certain ‘job opportunities’ presented to him or her, it might be wise to rethink the options for that individual. There is no doubt that you could graduate with flying colours- given your talents and skills- and go into the Auror faculty, but I am unsure that that is what you really have a certain passion for.”
James felt a sinking sensation in his stomach. He didn’t know how Dumbledore could have known.
“I just don’t want you wasting your years away in something that might not be what you want to do with your life, James. Do you understand?”
James nodded and replied, “Yes, Professor.”
“Ah, excellent,” grinned Dumbledore. “You possess great talent, and I know that it will take you very far. I’m glad you’re choosing to rethink. I can’t help but feel slightly uneasy when somebody wants to go into something so difficult as Auror training only to- “ Dumbledore peered down at the large text again, “- ‘do really cool, secret stuff’. Is that it?”
James flushed scarlet once again. “Yes, sir, that is correct.”
Dumbledore glanced up at a clock hanging on the wall and said, “Well, you best be off, James. You don’t want to take a hot soak too late at night.”
“Thank you, Professor,” said James, and he walked out of the door in deep thought.
As soon as he stepped out of the door though, James realized that Dumbledore had said something very peculiar. Turning, he started, “But Professor, how did you know I was going to…”
Unfortunately for James, the headmaster’s door was already closed shut tightly behind him.
James walked down to the third floor slowly. He was plunged in thought with his discussion with Dumbledore. The headmaster had known but how? James despised to admit it, but even at the age of sixteen, he was unsure about what he wanted to do with his life. He had no idea what he wanted to achieve or accomplish. James didn’t even think too far into the future, let alone his future. The farthest he had ever thought was when he planned a prank three weeks in advance last year.
As he contemplated with his thoughts, he swung around a corner only to bang into somebody head on. Quickly recovering himself, he bent down to pick up the books he had made the person drop to see a patch of dark violet hair already doing so.
“Audrey?” James asked, and she glanced up from gathering up her books. “Audrey!”
“James!” she said immediately and dropped her books she had just gathered to hug him. “How are you? I haven’t talked to you in ages.”
“I’m doing alright. Here, let me grab those for you.” James bent down and grasped all the books in one swoop. “Where are you heading?”
“Back to the common room, because curfew is in ten minutes. Shouldn’t you be getting back as well?” she asked suspiciously as the two started to walk toward the Ravenclaw common room.
“Of course I’m going back to the common room. Where else would I be going?” questioned James with a playful, hurt look in his eye.
Audrey raised an eyebrow as she grinned.
“I heard from Sirius that you were made captain for Gryffindor’s game tomorrow,” said Audrey as the two turned a corner.
James nodded with a smile.
“Don’t expect me to cheer for Gryffindor. We are still rivals, you know. I’ve already made a bet with Sirius that Ravenclaw would win,” continued Audrey as she eyed James.
“I hope you didn’t bet too much, because you’re going to lose it.”
Her face fell slightly at this comment, but James hadn’t noticed.
James chuckled and peered at Audrey’s books he was holding. “What are you reading?”
“Poetry. Muggle poetry to be exact.”
“Muggle poetry?”
“Yes, some Muggles were absolutely amazing poets. Take for example, William Shakespeare. He was a literary genius!”
“I’m sure he was,” stated James sarcastically.
“You don’t believe me?” interrogated Audrey as she halted to a stop, and so did James. “I’ll show you.” She grasped a thick, brown covered book from James and flipped open a page.
James watched her chocolate eyes survey each page carefully and quickly.
“Here we go. Listen to this sonnet, Mr. Sarcastic.” She cleared her throat. “’Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. Rough winds do shake…’”
Audrey continued to read the rest of the sonnet as James listened. Her words came into his ear, but they seemed to slip out just as fast as they had entered. When Audrey finally finished, she glanced up at him with an inquiring look as if to say, “Well? What do you think?”
“It was,” started James, the first to break the momentary silence, “interesting.”
“You didn’t understand it at all did you?” asked Audrey bluntly as she closed the book.
“Uhh…”
“You and Sirius are just awful!” she exclaimed as she lightly punched him in the arm. “I can never seem to get you two to see the whole meaning and symbolism behind poetry.”
The two continued walking and conversing about poetry until they finally reached the entrance to the Ravenclaw common room.
“Well, if he spoke normal English, I could maybe understand it better,” argued James jokingly as he handed Audrey her books.
She rolled her eyes tiredly.
“Well, you see, that’s the reason I don’t like poetry,” said James with a triumphant smirk. “I don’t understand it.”
“I have to disagree with you,” persisted Audrey. “I believe everybody has the potential to enjoy poetry, and I promise you that I will find a poem that you will enjoy, maybe even touch you, James Potter.”
James smiled. “Good luck with that.”
Audrey gave him a sideways grin before saying goodnight and clambering into the common room.
He waved goodnight to her, and after she left, he made his way to the prefects’ bathroom on the fifth floor. Once he was at the entrance, he spoke the password and his eyes were met with a white marble covered room. The candle-lit chandelier immediately flickered on at his presence and hot water started to fill the large tub automatically. James gasped slightly at the magnificence of the room as he undid his Gryffindor tie and unbuttoned his white shirt. He dropped his bag by a marble pillar and threw his clothes on top. With only his black swimming trunks on, he slipped into the tub and turned some of the golden taps to fill the tub with bubbles, just as Jennifer had instructed him to do.
When the tub finally filled to its maximum, it stopped. James sat down and leaned his back against a side of the pool as he glanced at the diving board located opposite of him. There were many bubbles fluttering around the room as the scent of the bubble bath soaked the air and wafted into James’s nostrils.
He closed his eyes as he exhaled the intoxicating cinnamon smell. Grasping his glasses, he clumsily placed them behind him on a dry ledge.
The bath seemed to swirl James’s mind around without any direction, and he felt sleepy. His head felt heavy, so he leaned it back on the edge of the ledge. As his thoughts clouded and consumed his brain, there was one thing he couldn’t help but keep thinking of above the rest of his restless thoughts. There was no reason for it or explanation, but by some force, certain words kept coming into his mind: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate…
Sonnet credited to: Shall I Compare Thee To A Summer's Day? by William Shakespeare
Victory Talk by Canadian Confessional
~Chapter Eighteen~
Victory Talk
“Alright team, this is the one; the big one. The one to make or break it,” announced James, and the rest of the team looked at him expectantly and attentively with their brooms clutched in front of them, and their eyes glowing with adrenaline. “We all know the maneuvers that Wood wants us to use?”
The team nodded.
“OK. All we can do now is wait,” said James, and he turned to face the gate that would soon open and unveil their eyes to a roaring, excited audience.
For almost the first time in his life, he was nervous. James was now going to go out there as Quidditch Captain. He had always wanted to be captain, but now that he was, he felt a certain burden of responsibility. Everybody on the team and the Gryffindor audience was counting on him; every single one.
“It’s going to be weird not passing to you, Potter,” stated Keira suddenly from behind him. “I bet I’ll end up passing the Quaffle to you anyways. I’m so bloody disorientated when it comes to change.” Her voice held a nervous tone to it.
Cory placed a hand on her shoulder. “What about Fiona and I? You can pass to us.”
“Yeah, but you guys aren’t as special,” replied Keira jokingly and Luke, Skye, and Gordon chuckled.
Fiona and Cory scowled at her sarcastically, and James laughed.
Suddenly, the gates rose to reveal blinding sunlight that hit everybody in the face strongly. The sky was a deep light blue and not even the faintest trace of a cloud could be seen. The grass that made up the pitch was a rich green colour that was sure to leave a grass stain with even the slightest bit of contact.
The team’s smiles from before turned into concentrated frowns as they marched onto the pitch with their heads held high. Their ears were on the brink of bursting from all the enormous amount of cheering. Bits of confetti were tossed carelessly onto the pitch, and there were waves of banners in blue, bronze, red, and gold.
James inhaled as he led his team mates to the middle of the field where Madam Hooch stood authoritatively.
“Alright, I want a nice game for a final from all of you. All misconducts will not be tolerated, does everybody understand?” asked Madam Hooch as she glanced at both teams.
Each side nodded.
“Captains, shake hands.”
James stepped forward somewhat self-conscious about the Captain’s badge he had pinned on. He shook confidently with a tall, blond haired boy that was the Ravenclaw Captain.
“Everyone, mount your brooms,” announced Madam Hooch as she leaned down to open the case holding all the Quidditch items. “The game will begin with the release of the Quaffle and my whistle.”
James hopped onto his Nimbus 1500 and listened intently for the silver whistle that Madam Hooch had just placed in her mouth.
Both teams and the audience were suddenly plunged into silence as they waited for what felt like hours for the start of the match. After many anticipating seconds, the Quaffle was thrown up into the air as Madam Hooch’s whistle let out a sharp sound. Keira was the first to jump on it and fly to the Ravenclaw end.
“And there goes Chaser Jensen as she speeds down to the Ravenclaw end! She’s being really aggressive very early! She dodges a Ravenclaw Chaser and- oh, but she was denied by a Bludger from Beater Shawnahan! There goes Chaser Lunt from Ravenclaw as he sprints passed Chaser Callihan with the Quaffle in hand!” commented Naomii as the crowd made a huge human wave.
James went up into the air and glanced around below him before zooming down toward the ground. The Ravenclaw Seeker (a freckled, bronze haired boy named Colin Denison) shot down behind James immediately thinking that James had seen the Snitch. To Colin’s dismay, James pulled up and started to head over toward the Gryffindor end.
“Oh, Chaser Lunt is coming in close to Keeper Flam! He passes it to Chaser Fiop and- scores! Ten points to Ravenclaw!”
James peered up to see that Gordon Flam, the Gryffindor Keeper, had just missed the Quaffle.
Cory Callihan clutched the Quaffle handily and tossed it over to Keira. She grasped it, and upon noticing James, threw it over to him. James avoided the Quaffle slightly off-guard, and Fiona Locke snatched it up handily instead.
Keira looked at James and smiled. “I told you, Potter! I can’t not pass to you.”
James rolled his eyes, and Keira flew off in the direction of the Quaffle and the Ravenclaw end.
“Chaser Jensen from Gryffindor is speeding down the left side after catching the Quaffle from Chaser Locke- she passes it to fellow teammate, Chaser Callihan- Callihan passes the Quaffle to Chaser Locke, but- OUCH- Chaser Locke was just hit with a nifty Bludger from the Ravenclaw Beater, Jason Howes! Now here comes Ravenclaw with the Quaffle again led by Chaser Lunt!” shouted Naomii as the sea of blue and bronze present in the stands erupted into cheers.
James circled back behind the Ravenclaw end to find that Colin Denison was watching his every move very closely. James had observed that Colin seemed to always be extremely close to him; always nearby. He knew that Denison was not watching out for the Snitch but was watching him.
“WOW! What a hit from Beater Luke Brown! That just knocked Chaser Lunt right off his broom! Now steaming away with the Quaffle toward the Ravenclaw end is Chaser Calihan- he passes it to Chaser Locke- she passes it to Chaser Jensen- Jensen shoots and scores!”
The Gryffindor end exploded into applause, and banners of scarlet and gold were waved about frantically.
Keira slapped hands with Cory and headed down toward the ground. Cory circled back around the Ravenclaw end to pursue the Quaffle and narrowly avoided a Bludger in doing so. Keira hovered low to the ground while looking up above for the Quaffle. Suddenly, a Ravenclaw Beater came down below and knocked Keira right off her broom with her bat.
“Oh my gosh! There has been a collision on the ground involving Chaser Jensen from the Gryffindor team and Beater Shawnahan from Ravenclaw!” announced Naomii, clearly trying to hide outrage in her tone.
The crowd burst into cat calls and booing instantly after they saw what had happened. Madam Hooch blew her whistle madly as both teams headed toward the ground and dismounted.
“Keira, are you alright?” asked James as he propped Keira to sit up.
Her nose was crooked, and her face was plastered with blood. She shook her head slightly and closed her eyes to calm herself.
“That was a dirty hit!” yelled Luke furiously as he was held back by Cory.
“I just bumped into her by accident!” retorted Shawnahan while rolling her eyes.
“Like hell it was an accident!” shouted Skye as she raised her bat angrily, and all members of each team broke into argument.
“ENOUGH!” screamed Madam Hooch glancing at both teams with frustration, and the yelling between the two teams was momentarily silenced. “The Gryffindor team will have a penalty shot on Ravenclaw.”
“What about Keira?!” questioned Skye aggressively.
“Miss Jensen will be brought up to the Hospital Wing immediately,” answered Madam Hooch strictly.
Both teams mounted their brooms once again rather irritated and rose into the sky. James flew over toward Cory to tell him to take the shot.
The crowd held their breath as they saw Cory fly toward the Ravenclaw Keeper and score.
“CORY CALLIHAN OF GRYFFINDOR HAS SCORED!” shouted Naomii excitedly as the crowd cheered ecstatically.
James exhaled with relief and continued to circle the pitch above everybody else.
The game was going smoothly, but James knew somewhere in his head that he needed to find the Snitch and fast.
He dodged a Bludger as he flew around the middle of the pitch. Squinting below him, he searched the green grass frantically. Suddenly, he saw a quick flash of gold. Without any hesitation, James shot down towards the ground like a bullet. As soon as he had made his sudden move though, there was a swish of a broom behind him; Colin Denison’s broom.
James was in a vertical downward plunge as his hazel eyes focused hard on the fast approaching Snitch. The ground approached him closer and closer as each second passed, and he threw his hand out in front of him to prepare to wrap his fingers around the gold, wriggling ball.
James knew that he was way ahead of Colin Denison. He knew he was going to catch the Snitch. He wasn’t going to let it elude him again.
Then abruptly, without warning, a Bludger came flying towards James and hit him square in the side of the shoulder, sending him off course. He span around in mid air, not exactly sure which way was up or down as he felt suddenly like something was missing. Then, he realized his round-rimmed glasses (the ones that he had had for such a long time, they defined him) had come off in the scramble and fallen down to break on the hard ground below him. He blinked a couple times before blindly (and luckily) reaching out to clutch the edge of his broom.
“James Potter is hanging on by one hand from his broom after being hit by a Bludger from Ravenclaw Beater Howes!” shouted Naomii, and loud murmurs broke out throughout the audience. “There goes Seeker Denison right after the golden Snitch! WOW! He just dodged a Bludger from Gryffindor Beater, Skye Fornei! It looks like there is nothing that can take him off his course now!”
Damnit! yelled James in his mind as he blinked a couple more times in an attempt to focus his blurry vision. That was the whole plan all along: get James Potter to see the Snitch and then hit him out of the way. Why was I so stupid?!
James tried to heave himself up onto his Nimbus but found to his horror that his grip was slipping quickly. Gulping down uneasily, James glanced around to where (at least where he thought) Colin Denison was. Denison was still chasing after the Snitch with great difficulty below him.
Are you sure that is Denison? Yes, yes I am sure. Or am I? Bloody hell, I can’t bloody see! Am I willing to do this? I could either be a hero or a laughing stock. I’ve been in worse situations, right? OK, I’m going to do this. You’re going to be in a world of pain, Prongs. James told himself as he closed his eyes and exhaled.
“Seeker Denison is close! He’s going to- WHAT THE FRICK?!” yelled Naomii, and the crowd gasped as they all stood up and leaned over the edge to get a better view of what was unfolding before their eyes.
James had let go of his broom and dove down with his hand outstretched to grasp the Snitch from right in front of Denison, cutting him off. James turned around with the Snitch in hand to glance upwards to see Denison’s astonished face. He saw that the rest of his team mates were trying fruitlessly to catch him before he hit the ground, but he knew they were not going to reach him in time.
James prepared for the worst as he slowly shut his eyes. He was going to hit the solid ground (and most likely break the majority of the bones in his body), and it was all for the game he loved.
Then suddenly, James felt himself slow down and flutter gently to the hard ground. The crowd instantly began to give a standing ovation.
“JAMES POTTER HAS CAUGHT THE GOLDEN SNITCH! GRYFFINDOR WINS!”
Scarlet and gold banners flew every which way, and the audience screamed in absolute delight.
James heaved himself off the ground only to be bowled over by hugs from all his fellow Gryffindor team mates.
“You were bloody amazing!” shouted Skye as she gave him a kiss on the cheek.
“You truly were!” chimed in Fiona, and Cory handed James his snapped glasses.
“How did you do it?!” asked Luke amazed.
“How did I do it? What are you talking about?” inquired James with a wide grin plastered on his face.
“That was quick thinking using your wand to break your fall, Potter!” commented Gordon Flam as he smiled brightly at James.
“My wand?” questioned James almost more curious than overjoyed. “I didn’t even have- “
“POTTER!” came a voice suddenly, and he was tackled over with a massive hug from Jennifer Wood. “YOU WERE BLOODY AMAZING! A TRUE CHAMPION! I KNEW I MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE WHEN I CHOSE YOU TO REPLACE ME! WE WON THE CUP! WE WON IT!!!”
The Gryffindor common room was covered with celebration banners, and a party was in full swing. The whole Gryffindor team (still dressed in their Quidditch uniforms) was met with a sea of cheers as they entered the common room. A crowd of people immediately picked up James (who had his glasses fixed by Professor McGonagall) holding the Quidditch cup and paraded him around the room.
“Who won it?!” asked James as he held up the cup.
“GRYFFINDOR!” answered all the Gryffindors full of joy.
The Gryffindor common room exploded into laughter.
As James glanced about the room, he caught site of Remus and Peter soaking up the win ecstatically. He smirked at them before grasping a cup of punch someone had given to him. As he drank up his cup, he caught site of Sirius briskly come down from the boys’ dormitory stairs and toward the portrait hole. James smiled as he saw Sirius and dismounted from the crowd of people to follow him.
“Sirius!” called James as he made his way around a group of girls congratulating him. “Sirius we w-”
Oddly enough, Sirius seemed to ignore him and quickened his pace. He scrambled through the portrait hole with lightening speed, and James gave chase by clambering through after Sirius.
“Sirius!” called James once again, but Sirius had already made his way around a corner and out of site.
James was about to run after his best friend, when a small, cold hand clutched his, and James whipped around to see Audrey on the brink of tears.
“Audrey,” began James in disbelief. “What- “
“I need to talk to you.”
The two unnoticeably avoided all people through the corridors and hallways using short cuts. They walked swiftly in silence, and James couldn’t help feeling slightly uneasy at Audrey’s torn expression. For some odd reason though, he felt he had seen it before…
After stepping out of a wine tapestry, the two slipped out a rather large oak door that led outside to the Hogwarts grounds. James with Audrey walked passed large amounts of confetti and left over garbage (that littered the evergreen grass) which was from the Quidditch final that took place just an hour ago. Finally, the two reached the edge of the large Hogwarts Lake. At that time, James glanced around to make sure nobody was in site before turning towards her.
“What happened?” asked James with worry clearly apparent in his tone and face.
“James, please don’t hate me,” pleaded Audrey with tears at the edge of her chocolate coloured eyes.
“Whoa, whoa, it’s OK. I won’t,” said James, trying to grasp her hand, but she avoided his.
“Do you promise?”
“I promise.”
She closed her eyes and turned away from him before saying reluctantly, “I’m leaving.”
The two words hit James so fast and hard that he asked, “What?”
“I’m leaving, James! I’m not coming back. I’m not.”
Hot, salty tears ran down her cheeks from her raw eyes as James remained speechless.
"It’s for my dad. My family isn’t rich, James. We’re not like you, and Sirius. We aren’t as lucky. My family depends on my dad’s job. He’s the only one supporting my family. He’s too old to find another job, but he’s not old enough for retirement. The bank he works at needs to transfer him to a newly-opened firm in France, because they want him to monitor the firm and make sure everything is alright. It’s a job opportunity of a lifetime for him.”
“When did you find out?” questioned James in shock.
Audrey inhaled shakily before answering, “Three months ago.”
James was filled with frustration he couldn’t seem to hold back. “Why didn’t you tell him, Audrey? You knew three months ago!”
“I didn’t want to hurt him, James! I love him! I couldn’t pull myself to tell him!”
“You’ve hurt him more by not telling him!”
“I know, but I was afraid! I was afraid to face him! We just got together. I didn’t want to ruin it so soon.”
“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” he questioned.
“I just couldn’t bring myself to face you and tell you the truth.”
Audrey knew that when James had said “anyone” he had meant himself.
James understood perfectly well what Audrey had intended, but he couldn’t help but feel disappointed at her decision. They were friends, right? They had shared so much between them, yet she couldn’t tell him about this. He hated to admit it, but he felt slightly betrayed.
“And you told him today, then?” interrogated James with a bitter sigh, and Audrey shivered from his tone.
“Yeah.”
“Why don’t you just stay, Audrey? You could spend the winter holidays at Hogwarts, and during the summer, you could just fly back to France. You could even stay with me, I would let you. I would.”
Audrey then gave him the saddest smile that he had ever witnessed before she replied, “James, how are you so sure I am going back to school?”
James’s eyes widened immediately, and an odd feeling came into his shoulders.
“I’m not rich, James, I told you that! I have four siblings, two of which aren’t even in school yet. How can my family support them?”
“You’re…” began James, but he was at a loss for words as a million thoughts burst into his head.
She’s not going back to school. Even if she stayed here, she wouldn’t go back to school. She’s going to work to support her two younger siblings. That's what she is going to do.
“Audrey, you have so much to give,” said James, surprised words actually came out of his mouth.
“That’s sweet of you to say, but I know that I’m not worth the money. I don’t have the talent, James, to offer anything to society.” She paused with a sigh. “I might finish my education sometime during my life, but right now, I can’t. Don’t get me wrong, this is my decision. My parents have nothing to do with it. My family means more to me right now.”
James gazed at her, and suddenly noticed that her robes were clearly handed down.
“When are you leaving?”
“Right on the last day of school. I begged my parents to stay till then.”
It felt so odd to hear about financial problems. James had always grown up surrounded by wealth and never ending income. Upon hearing about Audrey's situation though, he wasn't sure what to say or think. He had never been in the situation himself, and he hadn't known anyone in the similar situation either. It was completely new to him. It was as if his eyes were open to a dark side of life; a side he never knew could exist.
James turned to gaze at the serene calmness of the lake as she cleaned tears off her face with the edge of her Ravenclaw robe.
“I’m sorry,” she mustered.
He wanted to say that it was OK, that everything was going to be alright, but he knew it wasn’t. It wasn’t going to be alright for Sirius, Audrey, or him. Instead, he faced Audrey again, hugged her, and walked away from her, leaving her alone with the soft rippling sound of the lake and the setting sun upon the horizon.
As James walked away filled with so many conflicting emotions that he didn’t know how to feel, he realized why Audrey’s fallen face looked so familiar: it was because he had seen that expression on her last night when he warned her not to bet too much in fear that she was going to lose it all.
Saving Snape by Canadian Confessional
Saving Snape
The sand grains of time would fall slowly as the world stepped into the first week of June. The rain and heat caused a large amount of humidity, not very natural for the weather at all, though the weather was unpredictable nowadays.
The stickiness of the atmosphere seemed to play a major factor and brought a new element to everybody’s lives. All students in Hogwarts were restless. Tempers flared frequently, outbursts were now extremely common, and (on top of that) people were more than a little stressed about the upcoming exams.
James thanked Merlin he wasn’t doing his O.W.L exams this year. He would surely have failed.
James gazed off into the distance as Professor McGonagall lectured and reviewed how to change one’s hair colour. He loosened his gold and scarlet tie and rolled the sleeves of his white shirt up.
During the days after the final Quidditch match, James noticed a sudden silence (for the first time) from Sirius. It seemed as though Sirius had decided to try to avoid talking altogether. James also observed that Sirius always seemed disconcerted by everything around him, and any conversation remotely concerning a “relationship” angered him.
James recalled a time when Peter was animatedly expressing how “amazing” Natasha was while eating breakfast. Mid-way through Peter's talking, Sirius suddenly stood up and tossed his cup of pumpkin juice into the air furiously to have it land on top of Professor Flitwick’s small head. Sirius left the Great Hall before he saw where his cup had landed though.
“Just talk to her, Sirius,” advised James a few nights ago when Peter had gone out with Natasha for a walk, and Remus was on prefect duty.
Sirius had just turned to him darkly and trudged out of the room, bumping him along the way.
James told Sirius to talk to Audrey, because he thought that it was the best for the both of them. James, however, felt guilty that he had not attempted to talk to her either.
“Alright, remember to read chapter seven and eight thoroughly. Class dismissed,” announced Professor McGonagall, and the entire class began to pack up and file out.
James grasped his Transfiguration text book and ink bottle, and shoved them carelessly into his book bag. When he looked up, he noticed that Sirius had already left the classroom with Remus and Peter hastily.
I’ll meet up with them later. thought James to himself as he slung his black book bag over his right shoulder.
The last of the students sped out of the room as Professor McGonagall approached James who was now standing by her desk.
“I believe, Mr. Potter, this has been the most delayed detention I have ever given,” said McGonagall with a slight smile. “Delayed five months?”
“Something like that,” replied James casually with a slight smile.
He remembered that this detention that Professor McGonagall was calling him for was the one he had taken for Lily going into the Forbidden Forest back in December.
The reason why the detention was so delayed was because Professor McGonagall didn’t want to distract James during the Quidditch season with a detention. She hated her house to lose at Quidditch.
“Well, since you led the Gryffindor Quidditch team to victory, I’ll let you choose. Do you want lines or Trophy Room?”
“Do you even have to ask, Professor?” inquired James with a smirk coming across his face.
Professor McGonagall rolled her eyes. “The bucket and sponge are already in the Trophy Room, Mr. Potter.”
By the time James finished polishing every single piece of shiny object in the Trophy Room, his stomach was rumbling from hunger. He had spent a bit longer than he had anticipated cleaning all the trophies, and he was surprised to see that it was already dark outside when he was done. After cleaning, James dropped off the bucket and sponge (like usual) at Professor McGonagall’s office and headed to the Gryffindor common room to put his book bag in his room. He was also planning to catch some last minute dinner.
James loosened his tie further, for it seemed to make him sweat more than he would have liked.
This humidity is killing me. James told himself as he rounded a corner.
Then, an abrupt thought came into his mind.
Swinging a right, he followed a lengthy flight of stairs that led straight to a large oak door.
As soon as he stepped through the door and outside, the night air hit him and refreshed all his senses. The cool air soaked right through him and calmed him as he made his way across the grounds. The moon was full, and the light created from it littered the grass with a mysterious glow. James noticed a few thick, black clouds coming in toward the school, which signified a storm was to come soon.
James understood perfectly well why Sirius, Remus, and Peter had left Transfiguration in such a hurry. The three wanted to catch an early dinner in preparation for tonight. It was full moon, and Remus would have already made his transformation. The two other Marauders were most likely already accompanying Remus within the Shrieking Shack while they waited for James to show up as a stag.
They can keep themselves occupied while I get a quick bite.
James rustled the back of his hair and adjusted his book bag strap as he caught site of the large Whomping Willow. He never really paid too much attention to the vicious tree (seeing as he had paid it a visit several times), but tonight something had caught the edge of James Potter’s eye. Momentarily, he swore he saw a figure sneaking around the base and disappear into the shadows with another blink of an eye.
Thinking that perhaps the moonlight was playing a cruel joke on his eyes, James shook his head and quickened his pace. He still shot one glance back at the tree though before heading inside the humid castle once again.
James climbed the stairs to the seventh floor and approached the portrait of the Fat Lady which led into the Gryffindor common room. He muttered the password lazily, and it swung aside sluggishly.
The weather is too sticky when even the portraits are lazy. thought James as he came up to his dormitory door and pushed it open.
To his surprise, James saw Sirius and Peter snickering by the window as he entered. James closed the door noticeably so that the two would know that he was present.
“Oh, Prongs,” greeted Sirius through laughter, “how was detention?”
“Great, as always,” replied James rather uneasy at Sirius’s tone.
Sirius had not been happy, let alone laughing, after the incident with Audrey.
Peter had tears in his eyes and was having a giggling fit as he glanced out the window with what looked like a Muggle tool called binoculars.
“Padfoot, Padfoot, he’s going in! That’s hilarious! I can’t believe he believed you! What a fool!” squeaked Peter excitedly, and Sirius turned back to peering out at the window.
“Let me see, Wormtail! Give me the binocular thing!” commanded Sirius, and Peter handed the binoculars over reluctantly.
“Aren’t you two supposed to be with Remus already?” asked James curiously as he threw his robes from his book bag onto his four poster bed.
“Well we were, but we decided to have a bit of fun instead,” answered Sirius, and Peter squeaked delightedly again.
“What type of fun?”
“Let’s just say that the Hospital Wing will have one more patient after tonight,” said Sirius, still looking through the binoculars to the grounds below.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” questioned James somewhat aggressively.
“It means Snivelly will get what was always coming to him,” replied Sirius, while tearing his eyes away from the binoculars and facing James.
“It was great, Prongs! Snivellus was trying to catch us doing something ‘bad’, and Padfoot told him to get lost. Then, when Snivelly wouldn’t, Padfoot told him to go to the Whomping Willow and poke the knot under the tree to find out where we and Remus always go! It was an awesome prank!” informed Peter, and he turned towards James with a smirk. “Do you wanna watch?”
James dropped his black book bag down on the wooden floor with a thud. His heart pace quickened so rapidly it felt as though it was going to burst out of his chest. He turned and left the room without saying another word and dashed down the stairs while nearly colliding with a few other Gryffindors. He heard Sirius and Peter call after him, but he didn’t want to talk or explain anything to the two. He was revolted by them.
When going through the portrait hole, he caused a Gryffindor girl to drop all her books, but he didn’t care. He had more things to worry about.
James slung around a corner and immediately through a short cut that took him directly down to the first floor. He panted vigorously as he pushed his already fatigued body down a short flight of stairs and into the Entrance Hall. Grasping the gold handles of the prominent doors, he flung them open to have his eyes meet with pouring buckets of rain.
Without a second thought, James rushed outside and across the muddy, wet ground with all the speed he could muster. The rain was cold and hard as it splashed against James’s sweating and hot body. His jet black hair and clothing were already soaked by the time he caught site of the Whomping Willow through his water spattered spectacles.
Please let me get there in time. Please! Please! yelled James’s mind as he saw the Whomping Willow get closer and closer.
James observed the tree stir at his presence, and he immediately used the wetness of the ground to slide across the mud at the base of the tree. He saw a branch nearly come down on him before he fell roughly onto the dirty ground of the long hallway leading to the Shrieking Shack. He gathered himself up with lightening speed as he sprinted through the long passageway that he had taken so many times in the past.
James felt his lungs constrict as he neared what looked like a crack of light coming from an opening of a door; the door of the Shrieking Shack.
Instinctively, James grasped his wand from the back of his pants as he saw Severus Snape slowly open the door.
Severus glanced about the run down shack with utmost curiosity but caution. He whipped out his wand hastily and peered around the dark and dank room. A small candle that was placed on a small wooden table flickered furiously and casted awkward shadows around the room. Suddenly, he froze in place with fear and disbelief as his dark eyes were met with a real life, uncontrollable, vicious werewolf. The werewolf caught site of Severus immediately and began to approach the greasy haired teenager.
Severus instinctively shouted a spell impulsively at the beast, but it missed horribly. The werewolf (upon seeing the attempted attack) came running at Severus as it prepared to pounce with its claws…
James grabbed Severus by the collar harshly and jerked him back fiercely. The black eyed teen tumbled back and just out of the reach of the werewolf.
“You idiot, you bloody idiot,” shot James bitterly as he pulled Severus up with strength that Severus was well unaware James had.
“P- Potter?!” questioned Severus incredulously, but James just pushed Severus in the direction back to the Whomping Willow.
“RUN NOW!” shouted James as he caught site of Remus starting to come into the passageway.
Severus stalled half because he was unsure, and the other half due to fear.
“I SAID RUN!” screamed James as he turned around to glance at Severus. “BEFORE- “
Then, James felt an excruciatingly painful stabbing sensation creep down and across his back. His back felt like it had just been partly split open and filled with burning fire.
He had just been clawed by Remus.
James’s breath was caught momentarily inside his throat, and he felt hot sweat coming down from his forehead. He grasped his wand tighter and pushed Severus forward once again.
“Impedimenta!” cried James at Remus, and the werewolf’s movements slowed immediately.
Severus finally began to run as fast as his thin legs could carry him down the long winding pathway to the Whomping Willow. James ran behind him while watching out for Remus coming again from behind.
James peered in front of him to see a sliver of moonlight coming from the hole of the Whomping Willow. Severus scrambled through the hole hastily, and James raced to clamber right after him. Then, Remus (who had worn off the jinx) decided to pounce and tackle down James, pulling him down from the opening of the hole.
James felt himself fall on top of Remus and roll around. During the frantic scramble, he lost the grip he held on his wand. Finally, the werewolf was victorious as it pinned James on the ground and bared its teeth menacingly.
The moonlight shot down on James’s hazel eyes to show that it held fear in them; fear of a werewolf bite.
Shutting his eyes, James conjured all his courage, spirit, and every magical power still within him to summon his mahogany wand.
When Remus’s drooling mouth came closer to James’s face, a sudden something flew into his hand.
“PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!” shouted James with his voice cracking in the process.
Remus instantly froze on the spot and fell backwards giving James enough time to clamber through the hole above and out.
“SEVERUS!” hollered James desperately through the pouring rain and screeching winds. “SNAPE!”
To James’s utter horror, he saw no sign of Severus Snape. He tiredly ran across the grounds calling Snape’s name over and over again until his voice was lost, and he collapsed onto the muddy ground. James slammed the ground with his fist and grit his teeth.
A brilliant bolt of lightning touched down and illuminated the sky before being followed a few seconds later by booming thunder.
Remus would be discovered. Severus would tell everybody. It would all be over. He had failed one of his best friends.
James heaved himself to his feet and made his way clumsily over to the Entrance Hall doors. He threw them open with all the energy he had left in him and stumbled across a hallway before leaning against a wall to catch his breath.
He was soaked from head to toe, and his back was burning from Remus’s hit on him. James glanced down at his hand to see blood mixed with sweat and mud. His glasses were slightly fogged up and were dripping with water onto his mud spattered face and tie.
Then, footsteps began to approach him.
He didn’t care who it was, and he didn’t care if he got ten thousand detentions for being out after curfew. He no longer cared.
As James glanced up to see who had caught him, he noticed that the person was just as unbalanced and wobbly as himself. The person seemed to be walking around without a real purpose or direction.
“James Potter,” addressed Lily Evans. “What the hell are you doing?”
James’s eyes widened as he saw that she was clutching what looked like a large bottle of Firewhisky. Her eyes were on fire but so were her cheeks, and her movements seemed somewhat careless.
“I…” began James, but he was cut off immediately.
“You know what? Forget I even asked!” she stated and took a large gulp of her Firewhisky. “I don’t give a bloody hell what you are doing! And I shouldn’t! I used to always wonder what you were doing, you know. I asked my friends, and I even asked Brendan about it often. He told me to forget it, because a gal like me shouldn’t be fazed by that, but I was, alright?! So I keep saying things about you! You: James Potter!”
She shoved James against the wall with her free hand, and he winced in pain with the collision between the wall and his bleeding back.
“So, I was fine, alright! I’m not saying I’m NOT fine right now, oh, that’s not the case.” She chuckled to herself slightly. “So, I decided to right the wrong, and come down on your git-like, bullying, arrogant ways. Then, you tell me to buzz off. So, I should find it just dandy that that is EXACTLY what I want. Unfortunately, a girl like me, doesn’t always know what she wants, at least that’s what her Quidditch Captain boyfriend says when he dumps her! Yeah, not me dumping him and being too good, but he dumping me, and do you know why, Potter?”
Lily was now inches from James’s face, and he could smell her breath was drenched in alcohol. She dropped her bottle of Firewhisky to have it shatter on the flagstone floor (echoing through the hall) and creating a puddle of whisky by her feet.
“Let me answer for you, since I know you appear to be utterly speechless. He says that I have feelings for you, not him! Don’t you find that just funny? Very funny, isn’t it? He says I’m in denial! I told him I loved him because he was exactly what I needed. Not arrogant, not dumb, not pranking, not dumb, and an actual person who cares about other people, not only themselves. To put it simply: he's a nice guy! I might have feelings for you, and I might not! I know that doesn’t make perfect sense, but it’s clear like mud, isn’t it? I guess I don’t know a good thing until it’s gone. At least that’s what he said.”
Lily backed away from James still a bit uncoordinated.
“I’m glad we had this talk, Potter. I’m very glad. Glad I could tell that very important piece of information to you. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to…to… go…”
At that exact moment, Lily stumbled unstably and fainted right into James. He grasped her quickly and tried to balance himself against the wall. He glanced down at her red hair fall over her fine face as his heart beat sped up in a panic. James watched the water from his face trickle down onto her hair before sighing and whispering, “Evans…”
Eternally Bound by Canadian Confessional
~Chapter Twenty~
Eternally Bound
James Potter would never know where all his strength and energy had come from that night, but all that mattered to him was that he somehow made his way up to the seventh floor Gryffindor common room carrying Lily Evans in his arms.
James faced a harsh dilemma after Lily collapsed in his arms against the wall. Lily was a prefect. She wasn’t supposed to drink, let alone get drunk. If he brought her to the Hospital Wing, then there would be the risk of the teachers finding out that she was drinking. There was no doubt that they would have her prefect status removed. Lily would be the pinnacle of criticizing gossip for a very long time, not to mention her reputation would be ruined for the remainder of her stay at Hogwarts and maybe more.
What was he supposed to do with her, then?
He couldn’t just leave her in a random washroom or empty classroom. If he left her in the common room, the Gryffindors coming down for breakfast in the morning would notice her passed out and would inevitably spread endless rumors. Also, the embarrassment of waking up with a large hangover in front of the eyes of the other Gryffindors would be almost intolerable.
The thought of carrying Lily up to her own dormitory came to James’s mind, but he remembered that the stairs going up to the girls’ dormitories were enchanted. They would automatically send him flying back into the common room. Besides, even if he could go up the stairs, he had no idea which dormitory was Lily’s.
In the end, James had only one plan, and if certain people didn’t cooperate with him, he’d force them to.
James hurried into the common room (first making sure no one was present) and rushed up to his dormitory. James reached for the knob of the door awkwardly (while making sure he wouldn’t drop Lily) and turned it to see Sirius and Peter facing him with wide eyes.
“Shit, Prongs!” exclaimed Sirius immediately, but James ignored him as he gently placed Lily on top of his bed.
“You ruined the prank! We saw it all! We saw you run in, and Snivelly run out unharmed! What the frick is the matter with you?!” asked Sirius angrily.
James continued to ignore Sirius as he pulled his blankets on top of Lily and placed a garbage can beside the bed.
“And now you bring Evans in here?! What the hell?!” shouted Sirius yet again, but James did not reply.
“At least answer- ” started Sirius, but James cut him off.
“Get out and go down to the common room, both of you.”
Peter glanced at Sirius expectantly with nervous anticipation.
“What the hell makes you think I’m going to do that?” questioned Sirius with a tone that sounded as if he wanted a fight.
“Do it,” said James coldly as he glared at Sirius dangerously.
Peter’s eyes shot frantically to James and back to Sirius before Sirius replied, “Make me.”
James swiftly moved toward Sirius and grasped him by the shirt before throwing him out onto the stairs of the boys’ dormitories. Sirius landed awkwardly with a hard thud on the marble stairs. Peter yelped with fright.
“Peter, get the hell out of the dormitory!” hollered James, and Peter obediently scurried out of the dorm toward the common room.
Sirius shot his head up immediately with anger shaking through his entire body at his best friend. He jumped to his feet hastily and drew his wand as he pointed it at James and yelled a spell furiously. A hot, white slapping pain came across James’s face, and he had to grasp onto the side of the wall to prevent himself from falling. James shot a jinx after Sirius but missed as Sirius ran down into the common room.
James gave chase as he dashed down the stairs after him. When he got to the bottom of the stairs, he knew exactly what Sirius was planning and shouted, “Protego!”
Sure enough, Sirius’s hex was deflected.
“Incarcerous!” shouted Sirius directly at James, but (for some odd reason) James managed to move out of the way of the ropes that Sirius had sent after him.
“Stupefy!” cried James in retaliation, and a red bolt of light shot across the room to hit Sirius awkwardly in the side of the shoulder.
Noticing Sirius lose his senses momentarily from the spell, James instinctively yelled, “Expelliarmus!”
Sirius’s wand flew across to the other side of the room out of reach. James raced over to Sirius and grasped him tightly by the shirt collar and bashed him hard against the common room wall.
“Do you know what you have done, Black? Do you?!” interrogated James, incensed with rage as he shook Sirius slightly.
Sirius did not answer, for at that moment, he was partly afraid of James.
“You’ve ruined Remus! Snape is going to tell the world about his lycanthropy, and it was all thanks to you!”
“He wouldn’t have told the world, if you didn’t get in the way,” retorted Sirius with irritation replacing his fear.
“How can you even say that?! Severus has nothing to do with this! Nothing! You almost killed him, Black! He almost became a werewolf at the least, all because of you! That’s a burden no one should have, and you know that perfectly well.”
James’s grip on Sirius’s shirt collar tightened, and Peter stared nervously at the two from a distance.
“Don’t take your anger about Audrey out on somebody else,” spat James, and he shoved Sirius against the wall before stomping briskly passed Peter and out into the halls through the portrait hole.
James had no idea that he was capable of running up and down so many flights of stairs in one day. He trudged his way down the seventh floor hallway angrily until suddenly his heated frustration turned into something James inevitably knew would come eventually; exhaustion. His head became extremely light, and the thought of fainting came to mind. His steps became awkward, and he felt cold all over due to the fact that he was still soaked from the rain.
Panting heavily, James turned a corner to have his feet trip over each other, and he clumsily collapsed on the ground face first. For a moment, he thought he would never get up and decided it was best to let his eyes darken and let the world around him fall into silence.
I can’t. I’ve got to find Snape for Remus’s sake. For Remus.
Valiantly, he heaved himself up from the hard floor by clutching a nearby marble pillar for support. Every inch of his body was battered and bruised, and even breathing started to become somewhat of a difficult task. James leaned his head and back gently against the stone pillar as he closed his eyes and took in a few deep breaths.
For a while, the only thing James could hear was his unsteady breathing and rapid beating heart. Suddenly though, he heard a soft humming sound. At first, he thought it was his mind distorting the silence of the hallway, but then the sound began to get closer and more distinct followed by what appeared to be footsteps.
With quite some effort, James lifted open his eyes to see a familiar wise old man with half moon spectacles making his way toward James.
“Good evening, Mr. Potter,” greeted Albus Dumbledore cheerfully. “Do you also find that night is the best time to get one’s thinking cleared up?”
James shifted uneasily against the pillar before replying croakily, “Always do my homework then.”
Dumbledore chuckled and stopped in front of James.
“You are aware, Mr. Potter, that you are out past curfew?”
James shook his head slightly. “I had no idea.”
Dumbledore replied with a smile as he examined James carefully. “You’ve been through quite a night, I suppose?”
“Yeah, you could say that,” said James as he exhaled unsteadily.
If anyone could help me find Snape, it would be Dumbledore.
“Sir,” began James, “I was just wondering if you knew where Severus Snape is? I have an urgent matter to discuss with him.”
“Ah, yes, Severus. I have already talked to Mr. Snape about a certain matter that I do believe concerns you, correct?”
Dumbledore winked at James’s wide-eyed expression.
“But how- “
“I came out of my office to do my late night thinking as I fondly do. I was humming about the halls when I saw Severus run in soaked to the bone and hysterical. He immediately ran up to me in quite a hurry. He was exasperated, poor boy.”
Poor? More like stupid. thought James to himself as he continued to listen intently to his Headmaster’s explanation.
“Then, he commenced to tell me various words at lightening pace. It sounded a lot like gibberish, except I managed to make out a few words such as: werewolf, Lupin, Potter, prefect, and I do believe ‘git’? Was that it?”
“Err…”
“Anyways, that is not of great importance. I immediately brought Mr. Snape up to my office and explained to him that Remus Lupin is indeed a werewolf, and that I have known of it for quite some time. I explained the reason why the Whomping Willow is present at Hogwarts and also about the Shrieking Shack.”
James stared at Dumbledore with disbelief.
How could the Headmaster tell Severus everything?
As if reading James’s mind Dumbledore continued, “It was crucial to fill in Severus of everything in order for him to swear secrecy. If one does not truly understand all circumstances in a certain matter, then it is impossible to keep a secret on that particular matter. I explained to him that with this important information comes confidentiality.”
James was speechless at Dumbledore’s astonishing talent of knowing exactly what was always happening.
“I highly doubt that that was the important matter you had to discuss with Severus Snape though, right?”
“Remus Lupin a werewolf? I have no idea what you are talking about,” answered James jokingly, and he let out a chuckle that turned into a hard cough.
“I think it best that you go up to the Hospital Wing now, Mr. Potter. I wouldn’t want one of Professor McGonagall’s best Transfiguration students to die on my watch.”
James nodded.
“Would you like an escort, dear boy?” asked Dumbledore kindly as he saw James not very capable at the moment of heaving himself up to the Hospital Wing.
“No, it’s really- “
“Honestly, do not feel ashamed to lean on an old man such as myself. To be truthful with you, it makes me feel many years younger.”
After a slight hesitation, James reluctantly slung an arm around Dumbledore’s shoulder and was surprised to feel that Dumbledore was indeed strong for his age and appearance.
“Shall we?” questioned Dumbledore, and with a nod from James, the two made their way slowly up to the Hospital Wing.
James awoke with his eyes closed. His body ached, and his back burned even with the slightest movement. Every single muscle in James’s body felt drained of all energy.
When he and Dumbledore finally reached the Hospital Wing, it was extremely late at night. Madam Pomfrey had come out and began to go into a frenzy about James’s condition. She immediately tended to the major cut on his back from Remus and then to the little scrapes on his arms, legs, and face. By the time Madam Pomfrey was done and James was in bed, it didn’t take any time at all for him to hit the pillow and fall fast asleep from exhaustion.
The last thing that came to James’s mind before falling into a heavy sleep was the fact that saving Severus Snape’s life came with a life debt. They were (whether the two liked it or not) eternally bound.
James listened intently to the silence of the Hospital Wing. The windows were open to cool the warm room, and he could vaguely hear the cream coloured curtains waving in the breeze.
Then, he heard something; a small rustle. A rustle created from a skirt.
James slowly lifted his eye lids to see someone hastily get up from a stool that was next to his bed and glance into his deep hazel eyes with concern plastered all over their face.
“I haven’t talked to you in ages,” said James with a slight smile coming across his face.
Audrey hugged him with tears almost brimming at her eyes.
“Ow, take it easy there,” stated James with a wince of pain, and Audrey immediately pulled back and apologized several times at lightening speed.
“God, you make me worry, James Potter,” sighed Audrey as she sat back down on a wooden stool beside his bed.
“When did you find out?” inquired James as Audrey surveyed him.
“This morning. Professor Dumbledore informed me privately that something had happened to you. He told me discreetly while I was eating breakfast in the Great Hall.”
“What time is it?”
“Five o’clock.”
“In the morning?”
“In the evening.”
“Oh…”
He didn’t expect to be asleep for that long.
James sat up slightly and grasped his round-rimmed glasses off the oak bed side table. His back cracked rather awkwardly in the process.
“How’d this happen?” questioned Audrey cautiously, clearly still examining his condition.
“It’s kind of…” began James, but Audrey finished the sentence for him.
“Complicated?”
“Yeah.”
“You alright?” asked Audrey with a tone of worry in her voice.
“Other than the fact that it hurts to breathe, then yeah, I’m fine.”
Audrey smiled and glanced at the floor as the two were pulled into silence. Audrey fidgeted with her fingers, and James pushed his thick hair back.
“Listen, Audrey- “
“James, it’s alright. You had a right to act that way. I was being a coward by not telling anyone about leaving.”
“Your intentions were good, Audrey, and that is what matters. Besides, I’ve been a real jerk by avoiding talking to you.”
“Thanks, James,” she said, and he replied with a smile.
“How is Sirius?” inquired Audrey hopefully.
The thought of Sirius, and how he had endangered Remus’s secret frustrated James, but he hid it from Audrey. “He’s keeping himself occupied.”
“Does he hate me?”
“You’d have to ask him yourself.”
Audrey sighed.
“Don’t be afraid to talk to him. That’s what he needs more than anything right now,” advised James.
“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll talk to him,” stated Audrey, and she glanced down at her watch around her left wrist. “I’ve really got to go. I promised to meet some friends for dinner in the Great Hall.”
“I’ll see you around, then?”
She turned to him with a grin. “For sure.”
Audrey got up from her chair and grasped her book bag. As she clutched the handle of the Hospital Wing door, James called after her, “Audrey! About not telling you- “
She shook her head with a bright grin. “It’s alright, James. I know however you got hurt last night was by doing the right thing.”
“Thanks, Audrey.”
“For what?”
“For always understanding.”
A/N: For all readers and reviewers who are trying to contact me through e-mail might be unsuccessful because my current e-mail folder is a total mess. (If I didn't reply to your e-mails, I'm sorry!) If you need to contact me, please PM me through the forums. Thanks, and sorry for the inconvenience!
Wine Tasting by Canadian Confessional
~Chapter Twenty-One~
Wine Tasting
James would finally leave the Hospital Wing the day after Audrey had visited him
As he quietly closed the large Hospital Wing door behind him, he had to admit that his back was still a bit sore and so were his legs. He didn’t feel quite recovered.
The previous night, he was hit with a wave of slight insomnia that didn’t seem to quite subside until the late hours of the night. He lay in bed staring at the dark, marble ceiling (with blurry vision) with his weary eyes becoming blood-shot by the minute. Overall, to put it quite simply, it wasn’t a very pleasant sleep at all. Even so, all in all, he felt capable to at least attend his classes and study. Not like he had much choice, however. Exams were fast approaching, and the thought of being held back a year from failing exams was something that actually came to James’s immediate attention.
It was already the second week of June, and James knew that every single student at Hogwarts would be cramming and scrambling to get as much information in their heads as humanly possible. This was clearly evident as he made his way up a stairwell littered with girls studying frantically.
“Jenny, think for yourself for once!” screamed one girl shrilly at another, and a large argument burst out and echoed through the stairwell James had just left.
There is no doubt that Moony is studying right now. James told himself as he stepped through a colourful tapestry with a unicorn painted upon it. He made his way through the short cut that consisted of an awkward uphill, stone path to the sixth floor.
Just thinking about Remus reminded James about how that very same Remus had come up to the Hospital Wing last night, exasperated and in utter disbelief.
“You cannot be serious!” panted Remus as soon as he entered the Hospital Wing and noticed that James was sitting up and sipping a bowl of hearty chicken soup.
It was around dinner time and coincidently an hour after Audrey had just visited him.
James peered at the teen’s bewildered expression intently.
“Sirius! Of all people! He told Severus?!” interrogated Remus with exasperation as he paced about beside James’s hospital bed (boring a path into the stone floor). “How could he just TELL him?!”
“I’m guessing Dumbledore talked to you?” questioned James rather calmly as he observed Remus gaining more grey hair by the second.
“Obviously. He told me straight away after I came out of the Shrieking Shack this morning, which by the way was extremely unpleasant seeing as you guys weren’t there.”
“I was there.”
Remus gave him a skeptical look with his almond eyes, but then softened his expression as he examined James’s bruised condition.
“I’m sorry, James. I didn’t mean- well- what I meant to say…” stammered Remus hesitantly and slightly ashamed.
“It’s alright. We all know it wasn’t your fault. You had no control over it,” responded James sympathetically while setting his soup aside. “It’s OK.”
Remus collapsed with disbelief in a chair right beside James’s bed and buried his head in his hands. His hazelnut hair fell down around his face, and James could still see a slight trace of pink apparent in his cheeks from running up to the Hospital Wing. James heard a large thud come from Remus’s book bag hitting the stone floor.
“You don’t need to worry. Severus was sworn to secrecy by Dumbledore himself. He’s not going to be telling anybody anything,” reassured James comfortingly. He paused hesitantly before asking, “Did you talk to Sirius?”
“Yeah,” replied Remus while leaning back on his chair uncomfortably.
James could see a bit of a wrinkle still noticeable by Remus’s brow.
“And?” James pressed further with craving curiosity.
“I was really upset at first. I stormed into the dormitory as soon as I found out all the events that unfolded last night from Professor Dumbledore. I began lecturing him and Peter about all the things that could have gone wrong. Sirius kept defending himself by saying that it was only a small prank. Peter also agreed with Sirius that it was just a ‘small bit of fun’.”
He paused and sighed.
“A small bit of fun that went wrong,” added James, and Remus shot him a dark glance.
“Finally,” Remus continued, “he shouted a few explicit words and stormed out of the room angrily. He’s reckless that kid, he really is. Peter apologized to me rather hurriedly and left the dormitory a few minutes later. The three if us didn’t talk during our classes for the rest of the day.”
Professor McGonagall must have been shocked. I would have paid money to see her face. thought James to himself jokingly, even though it was quite inappropriate to be thinking humorously in the current situation.
“During dinner in the Great Hall, I approached Sirius though.”
James glanced at Remus suffering from stress before asking, “What did you do?”
“I forgave him,” he replied wearily with a tired sigh. “That’s what friends do.”
James smiled slightly, but Remus did not see it. He smiled because he was reminded once again of Remus’s fault of always wanting to be liked and (inevitably) cutting everybody a huge amount of slack as a result.
Remus, James thought at the time, you like to be liked.
James turned a corner briskly and dragged his feet up stiffly to the front of the Gryffindor common room entrance. The Fat Lady observed him with boredom.
“Dung beetles,” said James, and the Fat Lady moved aside slowly.
Clambering through the portrait hole, James made his way quietly by a large group of studying fifth years, up the boys’ stairs, and into his dorm to find Peter Pettigrew studying away. Peter was lying on his stomach on his own bed and glancing feverishly through a thick text book. When James entered, however, Peter immediately looked up.
“Prongs,” he began instantly and hopped off his bed to approach James, “are you alright?”
“Just a bit battered, no thanks to you and Padfoot,” he stated plainly and walked around Peter toward his own bed.
“It was stupid, I know, I’m sorry,” apologized Peter quickly, and James thought it sounded as if it were well rehearsed.
He turned to the watery eyed boy with a blank expression.
“Moony was pretty mad, huh?”
“Yeah, and I don’t blame him,” replied James rather coldly.
Peter’s face fell.
Upon noticing this, James stepped towards Peter and placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “You got to stand up for what’s right, Peter. You can’t always follow people around and do everything they tell you to. You need to follow your own instincts and feelings, no matter how difficult it may seem.”
Peter peered down at the floor, avoiding James’s piercing hazel eyes.
James let go of his grasp on Peter’s shoulder and walked back to his own bed. He glanced at it to notice (with great surprise) that it was well made; a state it was rarely in.
“She wasn’t there in the morning,” stated Peter abruptly, and James turned to him.
“What?”
“I meant Evans. Sirius and I slept in the common room after you stormed off that evening. When we woke up really early and went upstairs, she was gone. All we saw was the bed made real well and crisp like it is now."
“How was the garbage can?” asked James, though he knew it was a really irrelevant question.
“Huh? The garbage can? It was normal. There was nothing wrong with it.” Peter paused awkwardly. “Why?”
You can hold in your liquor, eh Evans? thought James rather immaturely.
“Thanks for telling me,” said James as he clutched his book bag from beside his bed.
He slung the heavy black bag filled with text books around his shoulder and was about to head downstairs when he heard Peter ask, “Are we OK, then?”
James turned from the door to face the plump teen and smiled.
“Sure we are, Wormtail,” he answered and saw Peter’s face light up just before heading down to the library to catch Remus to study for the upcoming exams.
The next few days would pass with haste. Exams had the entire student population of Hogwarts studying non-stop which included the Marauders. Remus and James studied together frequently usually accompanied by Audrey, Naomii and her friends, and occasionally Peter. Sirius, on the other hand, was rarely seen with the other three Marauders. Also, little was said between James and Sirius during their little moments of interaction such as at dinner. Even with everybody busy with their own studying affairs, one couldn’t help but notice that the two were on “unfriendly” terms.
People craved the knowledge of knowing what event or miscommunication had led to this, but no one could figure out a reasonable conclusion.
The tension, however, between the two most mischievous Marauders could never last and would eventually break down.
One afternoon when James walked out of the Great Hall after his Transfiguration exam, he saw Sirius waiting for him right at the end of the hallway. Knowing this as a signal to “talk”, James walked up to Sirius rather casually although he was more curious than casual.
“What did you think of question twenty-six?” were the first words to come out of Sirius’s mouth, and James’s lips curved into a smile.
“I thoroughly enjoyed it. That whole page was on animagi for crying out loud,” replied James, and the two began to walk down the somewhat empty hallway and outside to the court yard.
James understood very well that Sirius was horrible at apologies. He could never admit he was wrong when something was entirely his fault. He would either laugh it off or try to strike up a conversation with a different subject. James knew that Sirius approaching him now was Sirius’s way of honestly and truly apologizing.
“So, how have you been?” questioned James as he glanced at a group of fourth years studying and joking around under a large birch tree.
Sirius pushed his hair out of his grey eyes before replying, “Audrey talked to me.”
James tore his eyes immediately away from the fourth years to stare at Sirius and inquire, “What did she say?”
He sighed uneasily. “She said she was sorry, really sorry.”
James continued to listen intently.
“I know she really meant it. We talked a bit, and then I asked her if we could still, you know, have a long distance relationship.”
James already knew the crushing answer Audrey was going to give. He looked away from Sirius and faced forward instead.
“She said we couldn’t, but we could still write each other as friends. I asked her why, but she said she didn’t know how to explain it.”
James understood perfectly well why. No matter what excuse she would produce about “long distance relationships never lasting”, it could never hide the fact that she was afraid. She was afraid to fall into a deep relationship with Sirius where breaking up due to the distance would result in a heart-breaking pain that she never wanted to experience. She wanted it to stop, so she would never have to feel that type of heart break.
Sirius and James stopped at the corner of the court yard and looked at each other speechlessly.
James had no idea what to say. He acknowledged that “sorry” was the word people would normally use in this situation, but James knew that the word was usually said only when one didn’t know what to say. It was a word that had been overused to the point that it rarely held sentimental meaning anymore.
The only thing James could do was meet his best friend’s hurt expression.
“She was the only girl I could never fool around with. She was one of a kind. And you know what? I’ve noticed that in this world, no one ever listens to anyone else. It’s really messed up because people just want to let things out and be heard, but no one will listen. I have to admit, I kept a lot of things from people, even you guys. When I met Audrey though, I couldn’t help but spill out everything bottled up. I think it’s because, for some reason, I knew she would understand. Do you know what I mean?”
After a slight pause, James answered, “Yeah, I know.”
Audrey Filendale was not strikingly beautiful, witty, out-going, or overly interesting. On the contrary, she was painfully shy and had a large fault by avoiding her fears to the point she even hurt others. Though she considered herself unintelligent, she possessed a remarkable talent for understanding others. Oblivious to her knowledge, Audrey held an emotional intelligence that could never be taught through text books or professors. That intelligence could only be possessed by few through the heart; the soul.
When all the sixth years had finally written all their final exams, it was already the last week of June. Only a few people were left cramming for one last exam during the last week, while everybody else was relieved that their tests were already over. Since most exams had already been written, many classes were used as extra study periods or free time. Professor McGonagall had even said that if they had already written their Transfiguration exam, then they needn’t come to class. Professor Slughorn, on the other hand, felt that this extra time would wisely be used to conjure “fun” potions.
“Class!” announced Professor Slughorn one hot day. “We will be doing an extremely promising potion today!”
The class groaned.
“Now, now, no need to be pessimistic about it! We are planning to brew Athena’s Chalice. Now, can anybody tell me what that is?”
Instantly, someone raised their hand, and Slughorn addressed them to speak.
“Athena’s Chalice is not actually a potion, sir, but a type of drink that can be brewed. The drink, I believe, is composed of fine grapes, almost close to a wine. It was named Athena’s Chalice after the Greeks since they are extraordinary wine makers.”
The room burst out in murmurs and whisperings.
“Wine?! We’re making fine wine?!” James heard a couple of Slytherin girls whisper to each other excitedly.
“It is true that many consider Athena’s Chalice a drink rather than a potion, but it is still said that if a person has a large exposure of this brewed potion, their senses will heighten and especially their memories. Some have even said the potion can stop memory loss. It is very effective with the mind. Many properties of this potion, however, have yet to be discovered and tested. All this talk about memory loss is still considered theoretical. Still, very good, Miss Evans! Ten points to Gryffindor!” declared Slughorn ecstatically.
The Slytherin population of the class moaned.
James’s heart skipped a beat. He had not forgotten about Lily telling him that Brendan had broken up with her, but was it actually true? Was she just drunk? Did they get back together? He had no idea. He hadn’t talked to Lily since the Firewhisky incident, and he heard no new rumors or gossip about her.
He hated to admit that he had already told Lily that he no longer felt any feelings towards her. Did she really take it seriously though? Or (by some miracle) did she know he was lying? Well, whatever the situation, he vowed that he would talk to Lily today even though he wasn’t quite sure what he was going to say to her.
After Professor Slughorn explained a bit more about the “potion”, the class commenced to brew their Athena’s Chalice. Sirius seemed keen on making a successful wine potion and was following the complex directions written on the board up front with extreme care. Unfortunately for him, James was so busy thinking about Lily Evans that he became careless. After a bit of time and mixing in ingredients, James and Sirius’s brew started to smell a lot like sour grapefruit instead of sweet, wine like grapes.
“Mate,” started Sirius with a look of disgust after tasting his and James’s puce coloured concoction, “I highly doubt that this is what it’s supposed to taste like.”
As the class was nearing its end, Professor Slughorn walked around the classroom to peak at each student’s cauldron.
“Not quite what I was expecting, Mr. Pettigrew,” said Professor Slughorn after tasting Remus’s and Peter’s cauldron. “Next time, you might want to add a little less ginger root.”
As Professor Slughorn moved to go to another table, Peter whispered to Remus under his breath, “I swear we followed the instructions down to the last pinch of ivy leaf.”
Peter and Remus glanced around the class suspiciously before conjuring two small, plastic cups and filling them with their cauldron’s potion.
“Cheers,” announced Remus quietly, and the two drank up.
Upon the first sip, Remus and Peter began to cough and splutter before gasping for air.
“That is the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted,” gasped Remus as Peter broke out into laughter.
“I guess ivy leaf wasn’t supposed to be in there, eh?” questioned Peter sarcastically before going scarlet.
Professor Slughorn continued to go around to each cauldron, not seeming to be satisfied with the taste of each (well except Serverus Snape’s), but appearing to be happy about everybody’s enthusiasm and effort.
Finally, Slughorn came around to Lily and her partner’s cauldron. He took a sip, and his eyes lit up magnificently.
“Miss Evans and Miss Hall, this is absolutely delicious! Amazing conjuring if I do say so myself!"
“If you say so, sir,” replied Lily rather cheekily with a grin, and Lily’s partner giggled to herself.
Professor Slughorn raised an amused eyebrow at Lily, and then said, “Alright class, time is almost up. Please place your cauldrons at the front end table. As a treat, I will drain them out for you. Class dismissed!”
The majority of the class carried their cauldrons up to the front table, packed up their books, and hurried out of the room in an attempt to spend some time outside by the lake. James on the other hand, slowly packed up his belongings while casually stealing glances at Lily still talking with Professor Slughorn about her Athena’s Chalice.
“Can you be any slower?” questioned Sirius almost incredulously.
James glanced up at him. “You go on ahead. I’ll catch up with you later.”
“Want me to put the cauldron up front for you?”
“No, I’ll do it.”
“Suit yourself,” shrugged Sirius, and he left the room with Remus and Peter.
James packed up as slowly as he could, and finally he saw Lily walk over to the front table to drop off her cauldron. James instantly grasped his cauldron and approached the front table. He glanced behind him to see Lily still packing up her book bag as he placed his cauldron on the table. He was about to go and grab his book bag just in time to catch Lily going out of the classroom when suddenly there was a thud. James looked in the direction of the sound to see the whole table holding all the cauldrons wobble and collapse suddenly, spilling all of the cauldrons’ contents.
“Mr. Potter!” yelled Professor Slughorn. “Was that really necessary?!”
James shot a glance at the doorway to see a dark haired teen with a hooked nose dashing out of the room and out of site.
“No, sir,” replied James scowling after Severus, and he saw (to his dismay) Lily walk out of the room along with her Potions partner, Amanda Hall.
“I expect you to clean this mess up promptly,” informed Professor Slughorn. “And since you insist on being a burden, I demand that you clean it up by hand.”
“Yes, sir.”
James didn’t know how long it took him to clean up all the spilled mixtures, but he knew that it was tiresome and time consuming. He estimated that he had spent the last two hours cleaning on his hands and knees in order to soak up all the wine concoctions that had spilled. The cuffs of his pants, his Gryffindor tie, the sleeves of his shirt, and his knees were soaked. His back was aching from bending over too long, and he was drenched in what smelled like a strong, fruity white wine.
As James stacked the last cauldron back on a desk, Professor Slughorn came out of his office.
“You may go, Mr. Potter,” he said, still somewhat annoyed.
James nodded before throwing on his Gryffindor robes, clutching his black book bag, and heading out of the dungeon.
What an ungrateful prat. James told himself as he trudged his way up to the second floor. I save his skinny, greasy haired neck, and what does he do? He decides to ruin my chance to talk with Evans and also gives me a back breaking clean up assignment from Slughorn. To make it worse, I smell like I just decided to jump in a pool of fruit juice mixed with rubbing alcohol. I bet anybody could smell me a mile away. I should have let Remus eat him, though I doubt that would have been a very tasty meal…
James lugged his feet up a staircase to come to the sixth floor which was not surprisingly deserted. The reason was because there was nothing present on that floor except for a few empty classrooms and a small broom closet that James highly doubted anyone used.
James past by a boys’ bathroom (still fuming about Snape) and was halfway up the marble staircase leading to the seventh floor when he saw someone at the top of the stairs catch site of him. James stopped immediately, and for the first time in many weeks, he automatically grasped the back of his thick, messy hair and ruffled it.
Lily Evans stared at him for a moment with a blazing, firey look in her oval shaped eyes that James couldn’t quite explain. He was at a loss for words as he automatically observed her fine red hair and thin figure. He noticed that she appeared to be slightly out of breath. James didn’t know if it was his imagination or not, but he swore he saw Lily observing him in the same way he was to her.
After a slight pause with both of them not saying anything, Lily finally shook her head slightly in disbelief and approached him quite swiftly. She grasped him by the shirt collar as she pushed him against the marble wall.
“I admit it alright! The way you ruffle your damn hair, prank other people carelessly, play around with that idiotic Snitch, flirt witlessly with every single girl you see, your bloody, frickin' smile, I love it all, alright?! I love it...”
James just gawked down at her with bewilderment.
Was this the one girl that despised him for as long as he loved her? Was she really the one that ripped his heart out and tore it to pieces last December? The one he would give the world for? The one he could never explain why he loved?
Without any hesitation or warning, Lily Evans glanced up at his hazel eyes framed by his round-rimmed glasses, closed her own stunning green ones, and kissed him.
Now, James had always imagined a kiss with Lily Evans to be along the lines of a different tune. Not saying he fantasized a lot about kissing her, though it did wander into his mind occasionally.
He thought that he would ask Lily to go for a midnight stroll. She would agree reluctantly, and then James would take her to the Quiddtich pitch. They would ride around on his broom with her wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. Then, when they eventually landed, they would lie down in the middle of the pitch to watch the stars. At that point, he would ask her out, and she would say yes in a “I-love-you-James Potter” tone. Then, he would lean over all mysterious and cool to see her blushing shyly and being nervous. He would take this as his cue to lead her into a passionate kiss that was strong and showed to her how good of a kisser he was.
Unfortunately for James, his first kiss with Lily Evans was not exactly what he had in mind.
His world was spinning, his heart leapt up into his throat, a spark of passion burst within his chest and stomach, and James didn’t quite know which way was up or down. The moon became the sun, and it was raining when there was not a cloud in the sky. James’s world had suddenly filled with a happiness that could never be explained, only experienced.
For the first time, James felt he wasn’t the one in control. All his life, he was the smooth and suave character. He knew what to do in every situation and took everything in stride, but now, he wasn’t. He felt as if he was in a middle of a dance, when suddenly his female partner had decided to take the lead instead of himself. At the same time, the music turned from a soft jazz piece to a passionate tango.
Lily Evans kissed with so much authority and passion that it shook his world and almost made him feel somewhat vulnerable.
Wasn’t Lily Evans supposed to kiss lightly and shy like a good, law-abiding prefect?
James hated to admit it, but it was inevitable: Lily Evans was an amazing kisser, perhaps even better than himself.
She pulled away slowly and inhaled. James opened his eyes and finally found his nerves. He softly wrapped his arms around her waist and gazed down at her.
“Promise me one thing, James Potter,” said Lily with a grin coming across her face as she gazed up into his eyes with her piercing green ones.
James paused and gave her a questioning expression.
“Next time we kiss, make sure you don’t smell like you just came from some out of control wine tasting party."
James chuckled. “Will do.”
Promise to Remember by Canadian Confessional
Author's Notes:
I might lose some people here...
A/N: Slightly AU due to timeline conflicts...
~Chapter Twenty-Two~
Promise to Remember
“Aren’t you worried we’re going to get caught?” he asked as he gazed up at the dazzling stars in the night sky.
“Haven’t you ever been out late at night?” she responded smartly.
“Yeah, but- I mean- you’re a prefe- “
“Oh, get off it.”
Lily hit James in the stomach playfully as she continued to peer up at the stars. He chuckled and interlocked both hands at the back of his head. She placed both hands on top of her stomach and fidgeted with her fingers obliviously.
The two were currently present in the tallest tower at Hogwarts; the Astronomy Tower. James had become quite accustomed to the place and felt a special affiliation towards the location.
After Lily had kissed James, he took her by the hand and led her upstairs to the Astronomy Tower. Once there, the two closed the door and headed outside on top of the balcony. Lily immediately lay down on the stone floor of the balcony to stare up at the sky. James naturally did the same right next to her. Minutes of casual (yet witty and often embarrassing) conversation turned into hours easily, and there was no doubt the two were out past curfew.
“I think that one is Orion,” James stated matter-of-factly as he pointed to a cluster of stars sparkling down at them.
“I highly doubt it,” replied Lily bluntly.
“Why?”
“If you were somebody else, I’d believe you. Since it is you though, I’d have to say you’re making this up.”
James turned over onto his side with a grin to face Lily while leaning against his elbow. Lily diverted her attention from the stars to peer at him through her oval-shaped eyes. He gazed at her with unblinking eyes, and she raised an amused eyebrow for a reply.
“I have already named at least ten constellations, and you still don’t believe any of them I tell you?” asked James with his grin still in place.
“Nope, and I doubt I ever will.”
James chuckled, and a wide smile spread across Lily’s face.
Eventually though, James’s chuckling slowly faded away, and so did Lily’s smile as the two were plunged into an awkward kind of silence. Lily’s attention turned back towards the stars, which left James contemplating his thoughts while still leaning against his elbow (that was beginning to hurt from the hard, stone floor of the balcony).
He glanced uneasily at Lily’s piercing oval eyes, and he felt his heart beat a bit faster.
You’ve been wondering all night, mate! Just bloody ask her! Where is the courage that placed you in Gryffindor, Prongs?
His heart slammed against his chest again. His palms got ever so slightly sweaty. He wanted to abruptly fling his other hand to the back of his hair to ruffle it out of nervousness, but used some discipline and stopped himself.
“Listen, Ev- Lily, can I ask you something?” questioned James rather timidly, and (for some odd reason) he thought momentarily about the time he first met Audrey in the very same Astronomy Tower.
“Anything,” answered Lily casually as she continued to gaze up into the night sky and blew a few stray strands of hair from her face.
“Why, after all that time that I asked you? Why now?”
Lily turned her head to James instantly, and for a moment, for the first time, she was speechless as she stared into his framed hazel eyes that peered at her expectantly. Her heart beat rapidly increased, and she felt her head pound oddly. She hesitated as her mind overflowed with different explanations and unconvincing reasons. The truth was best, but she didn't want to admit it.
“I would normally say something like ‘you matured up’ or ‘I didn’t really get to know you until recently’, but that would be a lie. To be honest with you, I don’t know why I waited all this time; why I waited till now,” said Lily, and she directed her eyes away from his gaze uneasily.
Her eyes wandered restlessly away from the jet-black haired teen, so as not to face him. James didn‘t know it, but she felt too ashamed to look at him at that moment.
“I guess Brendan was right about me not knowing what I want. I had always thought you were immature and arrogant, and I thought that whoever dated me needed to be respectable, kind, and well, perfect in my standards. I thought Brendan was that person, but James Potter, did you ever confuse me right before I made that choice.”
James’s eyes shined with curiosity, and Lily turned away from his face and glanced up at the crescent moon shining down at her. She tucked a few of her red hairs behind her ear.
“When you took that detention for me, and when we played the piano, it was really an eye opening experience for me. I kind of had you on the brain for a little while. I think I made myself believe that Brendan was still the one for me though, and so when he asked me out, I said ‘yes’ instantly.”
She bit her bottom lip, and James returned to lying on his back as he continued to listen to her intently. He caught site of a cluster of stars, but was too concentrated and absorbed on Lily's words to guess what constellation it was.
“And there was that Christmas party, and I never really figured out what happened between you, Sirius, and that fourth year girl, but after Christmas, I saw that you and Sirius were alright. So, I shrugged you off my mind for a bit. Then, that Quidditch game came around, and I was disgusted with what you did. After, we had that argument, and then you told me that you didn’t care anymore. You said it was over. I really thought that I would be relieved, but I wasn’t. On the contrary, I was even angrier at you for giving up on me. I have no idea why, it’s actually really arrogant of me.”
She knew exactly the reason why she was angry. She was angry because she wanted him to try harder. She wanted to see to what possible lengths he would go to deserve her. Lily never realized this though. She was too proud to.
Lily sighed while James remained speechless.
“What I tried to do was forget about you. I really did. That’s why Brendan and I lasted as long as we did. I tried to accept the truth that you didn’t ‘want’ me anymore. In the end, I couldn’t. That night, before you found me drinking, Brendan told me it was over. He said the reason was because I clearly didn’t share the same feelings for him the way he did for me. I tried telling him he was everything I ever wanted, and he told me I was lying. He told me I didn’t know what I wanted, because I wasn’t accepting what I truly needed. He was really nice about it, and after, he hugged me and wished me luck with the lucky guy I was going to end up with. I was really in denial. Everything has always gone my way in life. I was so confused that I panicked for the first time in my life.”
Lily shot a quick glance at James (which he never caught), and saw that he was contemplating each and every word she was saying. She got up abruptly and walked over to the edge of the balcony. She struggled to find her nerves, and it felt odd for her to find it difficult to word her phrases. She always knew what to say.
“Then, I ran into you; drunk. I don’t exactly remember what I blurted out to you, but all I remember was fainting. The next thing I know, I’m in your dorm, and there is only one thing I know for sure: you saved me, again. I left your dormitory honestly not knowing what to think. Exams came after that, and I buried all my thoughts away in studying. It's funny how distracted you can make yourself when you put your mind to it. I was so busy, I never really had a free moment to think about everything between you and I until tonight.”
Lily turned around and forced herself to look deep into James’s hazel eyes that she had always admired since the moment she had met him.
He deserves the truth, Lily. He won’t always be waiting for you.
“Suddenly, without a reason or logical explanation, I had all this emotion that was built up for the past two weeks rush into me. Everything clicked. The reason why I’m always mad at you, why I always try to see the worst in you is because I want to see a fault in you. I want to see a fault, so that I can give myself an excuse not to be with you. I didn’t want to be with you, because your bullying and pranking immaturity stood for everything I am against, and that was the only fault I ever saw in you. But this year, that fault within you practically vanished, and I no longer had an excuse. The only thing holding me back was my own pride and stubbornness. I always liked you James Potter, it just took me until now to see it.”
James gazed into her eyes before standing up and walking over to the edge of the balcony where she was. He faced her with observant eyes. Lily’s green eyes searched his frantically. He placed a gentle hand on hers, and she noted that his hands were warm.
Suddenly, James smiled and chuckled to himself lightly before saying, “Oh, Evans, I knew you liked me.”
She laughed and playfully slapped him in the arm. “You’re the one that said you gave up on me!”
“Did you really believe that?” asked James with an amused eyebrow raised as he cocked his head to the side slightly.
“Not for a second,” whispered Lily into his ear as she leaned over to him.
“I didn’t think so,” James whispered back, and he tucked a few strands of red hair behind her ear that had come undone.
“Just one thing,” said James rather suddenly, and Lily raised her eyebrows in inquiry. “Were you the one to slow my fall in the Quidditch final?”
Her rose-coloured lips curved into a mysterious smile before replying, “Did Gryffindor win?”
“Yes. Yes, I daresay we did.”
James grinned and gave Lily an odd, dreamy-like look, which she returned.
After what felt like centuries (which were actually only a few seconds), the two broke eye contact with blushing faces, and they laughed rather sheepishly together. James glanced away and instead looked up at the moon. Lily on the other hand, glanced down below to the grounds. The two remained silent for a few minutes, each holding a bright smile, when abruptly Lily stated, “What’s that?”
James immediately turned his full attention towards her, and he saw that she was squinting below with a deep frown. He stared down below to see figures and different beams of light being shot around the grounds.
“Something doesn’t feel right. I’d better check this out,” said Lily, and she was about to leave, when James grasped her by the elbow.
“Can I come?”
The two rushed down many flights of stairs and through as many short cuts and secret passageways as possible to finally make it down to the Entrance Hall. Once there, Lily hurriedly whipped open the double doors and dashed outside to search frantically for where the beams of light she had seen had come from. James peered around until finally he saw a red spark go up into the air.
“C’mon! Over there!” said James as he pointed in the direction of the Whomping Willow and began to ran with Lily.
The two past the Whomping Willow and turned the corner of the edge of the school and were met with confusion and bewilderment.
Initially, the both of them had suspected that some foolish students decided to have a duel of some sort on the grounds late at night. That, however, was not the case.
Lily and James were stunned to see four black cloaked figures dueling with what looked like three students. The dark figures’ faces were covered with their cloaks and only their pale mouths were visible. To James’s horror and utter astonishment he saw that the students dueling with these mysterious figures were not just any ordinary students, but his friends; the Marauders.
Without thinking clearly about it, James raced over to them to help.
“James! Don’t!” shouted Lily behind him, but it was too late, the cloaked figures had already caught site of James charging at them with his wand out.
“Expelliarmus!” yelled James furiously, and one of the cloaked figures’ wand went flying across the night sky.
The Marauders instantly glanced back to see who had come, and saw to their somewhat relief, James.
“Glad you could join us,” stated Sirius sarcastically with his wand raised.
“You always search for trouble, don’t you?” questioned James severely as he observed the figures raising their wands again in a darkly manner.
“Nope, trouble came to us this time,” answered Sirius. “We were minding our own business on the grounds late at night when these freak shows attacked us.”
“Who are they?”
“Death Eaters.”
“How do you- “
“Trust me, I know.”
Suddenly, a tall Death Eater raised his wand and shot a beam of light in the direction of Remus and Peter. Both of them hit the ground to narrowly avoid the spell.
“Stupefy!” yelled Remus in retaliation, and the Death Eater fell backwards.
Another Death Eater immediately shot a spell at the two once again. Peter jumped out of the way narrowly, but Remus was hit and thrown backwards a few meters.
“Remus!” hollered James before a beam of light came and hit him in the face filling his jaw with a crushing pain.
Sirius yelled a spell at the Death Eater who had just hit James and sprung out of the way of the Death Eater’s jinx.
James opened his eyes quickly to see a Death Eater approaching him. The figure towered over him with a wand pointed at his face, when suddenly there was a flash of light and the Death Eater went stiff and fell to the ground automatically. James scrambled to his feet and looked to see that Lily Evans had shot the spell. She had her wand out and pointed it dangerously at the fallen Death Eater. James nodded and ran over to help Peter who was trying to duel with a short but thin Death Eater.
“Stupefy!” shouted James, and the short Death Eater fell over.
Peter rushed over to James.
“Peter, look after Remus, I need to help Sirius and Lily,” told James hurriedly.
Peter nodded, shaking all over, and ran over toward Remus lying on the ground.
As James raced over toward where Sirius was dueling, he saw Lily handily duel with another cloaked Death Eater. When James had gotten close to Sirius, he saw him barely avoiding a stunning spell from a tall Death Eater.
“SIRIUS, LOOK OUT!” screamed James noticing the Death Eater directing another spell at Sirius, but it was too late.
A beam of light hit Sirius hard in the chest, and Sirius fell forward awkwardly.
James dashed over to Sirius, but for some odd reason, Sirius rose to his feet immediately. James stopped dead in his tracks to see Sirius turn to him with glazed over eyes that shown eerily in the moonlight.
Sirius had been hit with a curse that was controlling him.
James moved out of the way as Sirius shot a wave of blue light at him. James avoided another spell from Sirius, but then found himself reeling in pain. He couldn’t help but fall to the ground crippling in agony.
Someone had hit him with a spell from behind.
His world was going into darkness, there was screaming, and he felt like he was choking. He felt himself coughing involuntarily and dropping his wand helplessly to the ground. His head was exploding, and he tried with all his strength to stand up and fight, but couldn’t. He thought he was going to die from the pain. It was too intolerable.
Just let them live. Take me instead. Take me…
Then, suddenly, it stopped. He exhaled heavily and heard whispering.
“You fools!” hissed a cold voice. “I told you to stay at the Hog’s Head!”
“My- My Lord,” stammered what sounded like a Death Eater, but the new member of the party (who seemed to be the leader) silenced him.
“I said I would go to the castle and told you four to remain at the Hog’s Head! Did I not?!”
“We are sorry, my Lord,” came the Death Eater’s voice again.
“You disappoint me all,” stated the new member, and everything was plunged into silence.
James opened his eyes slightly to see that Sirius had collapsed right next to him. His mind raced frantically.
What happened to everybody? Is everyone OK? Are they dead? Could they all be…gone?
“The Headmaster was most ungracious,” started up the cold voice once again. “He says that the job will not be given to me. That choice will be one of the biggest mistakes the old fool will ever make.”
The voice was foreboding and dark, and for some unexplainable reason, James felt as if this stranger could see right through him. He felt a cold shiver run down his spine as his breathing became shallow. This stranger was no ordinary person. James sensed the cold voiced man glancing around at everybody lying on the ground.
“Now we have witnesses,” hissed the voice again.
“But they are only students, my Lord.”
“’Only students’? A witness is a witness, Dolohov. They must not remember this. If rumor were to spread, it would be most unwelcome.”
James diverted his attention slightly to look at the icy voiced stranger. He saw a waxy faced middle aged man that had blood shot eyes and possessed an aura of death. The man was wearing a cloak that was as black as the night. James saw to his horror, the man raise his dreadfully thin, long wand.
He was going to forget everything; everything that happened tonight, maybe more. He was going to forget his time with Lily. She would forget. Everyone would.
The leader flicked his wrist fluently and a large wave of bright light came over everybody lying on the ground. James shut his eyes tight and listened to his heavy breathing.
Quite oddly enough, James didn’t feel anything happen to him. He felt a strange sensation in the pit of his stomach, but it passed quickly. He still remembered where he was, who he was, and everything else that had happened to him up to that moment.
Then, he heard footsteps coming toward him. His heart beat raced, and he felt fear radiating out from his body.
As the stone faced leader stood over him, James felt a sickening sensation come over him, and for some reason, he knew that this man had done the unthinkable. Something about him spelled something disgustingly dark, and James thought momentarily that the man would kill him at any moment.
There was a slight pause that felt like hours, and then the footsteps swiftly trudged away and vanished into the darkness of the night. The air, however, was still strung with tension.
James had no idea how long he lay there, but once he was absolutely sure that the five figures were gone, he heaved himself off the ground and made his way over to a pale Sirius. He kneeled down beside his best friend to see him unconscious and not responding.
“Sirius,” whispered James, but he had no response.
James shook Sirius slightly.
“C’mon, Sirius. Wake up, damnit! Wake up!”
To James’s horror, his friend did not move.
James got up shakily and glanced around until he saw Lily lying on her back. He rushed over to her and collapsed beside her. To his surprise, Lily had her eyes open, but she was shaking all over.
“Lily,” gasped James, and he glanced down at her ghostly white face.
“J- James,” responded Lily shakily. “I know what he cast. It was a memory charm. We’re going to forget everything. He was the caster. I don’t know the extent of the memory loss. If I forget tonight, I’m not sure if I’ll have that realization again. I don’t know if I will have that rush of emotion to make me understand…”
James remained speechless as he stared at her face with disbelief.
“I just want you to know, James Potter, that I love you. And if you remember what has unfolded tonight, promise me you’ll make me remember.”
“Lily, I- “
“Promise me, James Potter. Promise me…”
Lily searched his hazel eyes until finally her strength left her, and she closed her eyes. Her hand she had on James’s cheek fell to the ground beside her. James gazed down at her with utter disbelief. Without warning, his shoulders began to shake uncontrollably as he closed his eyes and hung his head down in an unimagined sadness.
“Lily,” he whispered over and over again, praying helplessly that somehow his words would bring her back. “Lily.”
Hi everyone! Sorry for not responding to all your wonderful reviews! I'm just extremely busy at the moment to go through them all, but I'd just like to say: THANK YOU ALL!
Silent Night by Canadian Confessional
~Chapter Twenty-Three~
Silent Night
James Potter grasped Lily’s hand tightly as his mind tried desperately to understand what was happening.
How could he have gone from the peak of absolute bliss to complete and utter sadness? It felt as if his time with Lily was months, years, even worlds away. Even the slightest contemplation of happiness was distant and vague.
The moonlight from above shot down on Lily’s pale, ghostly face.
Lily couldn’t have forgotten. She was pretending. She would remember eventually, right? She was bound to remember everything that happened; everything she told him. She was just asleep, exhausted, that was it. That had to be it. She would wake up in a few minutes and throw some cheeky remark at him before embracing him warmly in an apologetic hug.
“Lily, c’mon,” whispered James hopelessly, “stop being so damn stubborn.”
James continued to talk to her. He kept begging her to come back, to stay with him, but she didn’t respond.
Somewhere deep within him though, he knew she wasn’t joking or pretending. She wasn’t even being stubborn for that matter. James knew that no matter how many times he told her to wake up (and even if she did wake up), she wasn’t going to remember. Everything would become nothing, and a life-changing revelation would turn back into hidden denial.
Then suddenly, James heard a rustle of grass a little bit away from where he was. A huge wave of relief immediately hit him hard in the stomach. Glancing across the grounds somewhat frantically, he finally spotted a figure stand up with wobbly imbalance in the moonlight. The silhouette began to walk slowly back to the doors of the Entrance Hall as James sprang to his feet. Immediately, with adrenaline pumping vigorously through his veins, he dashed toward the figure to see that it was Remus.
“Moony! Remus?!” asked James while panting.
For some odd reason, Remus ignored him completely and continued towards his destination to the Entrance Hall.
James continued, “You remember, right? Just like me? You know- “
Abruptly, James noticed that Remus’s eyes were glazed over and his pupils were so small it was as if they weren’t even there. Remus’s almond eyes no longer held the friendly warmth in them that James had become accustomed to see.
“Remus?” questioned James in disbelief, but Remus remained unresponsive as he started to climb the stone steps to the Entrance Hall.
James whipped around to see the other three present had also gotten up and were approaching the doors in a dream-like state. They all appeared to be lifeless and wandering around without a purpose, without any trace of emotion. If was as if the people James had known and treasured for as long as he could ever remember were suddenly gone; snatched.
He ran toward Peter and shook him by the shoulders, but the plump boy shrugged him off and continued to walk toward the doors. James ran to Sirius with panic overcoming his mind. He yelled in Sirius’s ear to snap out of it and “wake up” but that received no response. Sirius’s grey eyes were overwhelmingly blank that it momentarily frightened James. Finally, James saw Lily and her emotionless green eyes. In another, desperate attempt, he dashed over to her and tried to stand in front of her, to stop her. She, like the others, however, ignored and avoided him.
“Lily! C’mon, listen to me!” pleaded James helplessly while praying that she would.
He grasped her by the elbow and tried to hold her back, but with a great force, she pulled away from him and kept on walking back to Hogwarts.
James raced back to Sirius who was almost at the doors, right behind Peter.
“Padfoot! Cut it out! Snap out of it! Listen to me, damnit!” hollered James, but Sirius ignored him completely. “Just listen!”
Never in his life had James Potter felt so vulnerable. He was the ringleader, the rebel, but no longer. Now, no matter how hard he tried, no matter how much heart he had, he was fruitless and useless. He had lost full and total control.
“Why won’t you listen to me?!” hollered James after the figures now entering the Entrance Hall. Breathlessly, he whispered to himself in defeat, “Why won’t anybody listen?”
“It is because they cannot hear you.”
James’s heart beat increased rapidly as his stomach clenched painfully. H spun around immediately to see where the voice that had answered him had come from.
There, framed by light, standing in the doorway of the Entrance Hall was Professor Dumbledore. His gentle hands were interlocked behind his back, and his half-moon spectacles reflected moonlight off of them.
James was glued to the spot momentarily. He felt his scarlet cheeks were hot and stained with tears that he never even recalled shedding. His breathing had become heavy from panic and frustration, and each breath seemed to take a toll on his lungs and chest. James’s round-rimmed glasses were slightly crooked on the bridge of his nose, and his face bore despair.
“We need to talk, James.”
The Headmaster’s office never seemed to change. It always had many different and unique silver trinkets placed on various spindly legged tables. The walls also never ceased to change and were always lined with the portraits of previous Headmasters (which was tradition).
It was no different when James entered the marble walled, circular office.
Dumbledore strode over to his desk, and as he did so, some of the sleeping portraits began to stir and whisper amongst themselves.
“The events that unfolded tonight were not intended to happen,” he began as he sat down opposite James across his grand desk.
The Headmaster’s voice went into one ear but out the other. James could no longer keep focus or control. He drowned out the words Professor Dumbledore was saying to sit in a dark place within his mind that rang with the question: Why? Why did they have to forget? It was unfair, it wasn’t right. That man, that pale faced man, had no right to erase or tamper with the minds of his friends and Lily’s. That heartless bastard had no right.
A sudden anger for the spell caster hit James hard, and he felt his hands curling into fists that shook violently.
“The reason why Tom was here tonight was because he made an appointment with me.”
“What?” asked James suddenly as he caught what Dumbledore had just said.
“He asked if he could come to the school for a request. I let him.”
“You mean- “
“The pale looking fellow that seemed to command the four of his ‘friends’? Yes.”
“You let him?!” asked James, suddenly incensed with anger. “When you knew he was dangerous with his Death Eaters, or whatever the hell it’s called. You knew he was dangerous! YOU KNEW!”
James was almost at the point of screaming, and suddenly, he let his anger for the calm old man overcome him. He stood up quickly, and his chair was sent falling backwards with a hard thud. He threw all the papers and small trinkets littering Dumbledore’s desk onto the floor to crash violently. Frustration, irritation, and disbelief went into the pit of his stomach as somewhere within him felt betrayed. It was as if somebody he had always trusted his life with, someone who he respected beyond reason had suddenly turned on him.
Dumbledore was the reason why Lily and the Marauders, the people he cared about most, had their memories erased. They would go up to their dormitories, wake up, and would know nothing of what happened, maybe less than that. He didn’t know. All he knew was that a part of his friends’ lives would always be missing, and it was all Dumbledore’s fault.
James turned to the nearby bookshelf and ripped several thick books off the shelf and threw them on the ground savagely.
Dumbledore observed him closely, and (for some odd reason) the Headmaster had a sinking suspicion that he would later see the same anger reside within somebody else…
“You have every right to be angry with me, James,” said Dumbledore with a frighteningly calm tone. “I underestimated the risk in inviting Tom for a private meeting. I had assumed that Tom’s friends would follow through with his ‘orders’, but I overlooked the idea. I had not contemplated that they would come onto the grounds and attack students to pass the time for cruel entertainment.”
James’s skin bubbled with white anger, and he had to muster all the self-control he had to restrain himself from going at Dumbledore; to hurt or break the old man. He wanted his Headmaster to feel the same pain he was feeling now: the pain of losing a love, part of his friends, and part of himself in the process.
“I am deeply sorry.”
“You’re sorry?! That’s all you can bloody say?! That won’t bring back their memories, their realizations! Nothing, it’s gone! EVERYTHING IS, AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS YOU’RE SORRY?!”
Many of the portraits whispered with shock and astonishment at James’s fierce tone, but he didn’t care. He no longer gave a damn.
“I still made cautionary steps, however,” continued Dumbledore. “I made sure that Tom would visit me late at night, past curfew, so all students would be in their respective common rooms.”
James faltered slightly from these words, and he felt as if his words were unjustified.
“Are you blaming my friends for being out late? Is that it? Are you trying to blame them for your foolish mistake?!”
“No, James, that is not what I am saying,” said Dumbledore with a sharp sigh, and for a second, James felt he had past some imaginary line of Dumbledore’s respect and calmness. “In life, our choices affect how life turns out. I was giving Tom a chance when he came to visit me tonight. I admit I am a foolish old man in believing that there is always good intention in everybody. Trust is my greatest fault. It is unfortunate that the five of you were out at that time, at that exact place, but it happens. Coincidences happen, James, and some are good, while others aren’t.”
James’s heart sunk and bitterness crept into him.
“So that’s it?” he questioned. “They were supposed to forget, is that it?”
“I am afraid there is nothing anyone can do now. What’s done, Mr. Potter, is done.”
“Can’t you do something? Can’t we tell them the truth? Can’t some potion or spell or something bring back their memories? Can’t... “
Dumbledore shook his head slowly, silencing James, before explaining, “The mind is a complex system made up of memories and emotions. Altering the mind is a complicated process with many risks. I don’t know how changed the minds of your friends will be after Tom used his memory charm. He will most likely be the only one who will ever know. Tampering with memories and explaining events that ‘did not happen’ according to a person can put them into great shock and danger. The truth can shatter a person, James. It is not wise to rearrange complex matters such as the mind.”
James felt the last part of Dumbledore’s sentence linger through the air.
“Sir, then how come- “ started James with a sudden question coming to mind.
“How come you did not forget? That is an excellent question that I believe only you can answer.”
James searched his Headmaster’s wise face but found no answer within it.
“Athena’s Chalice is not actually a potion, sir, but a type of drink that can be brewed. The drink, I believe, is composed of fine grapes…”
Could it possibly…
“It is true that many consider Athena’s Chalice a drink rather than a potion, but it is still said that if a person has a large exposure of this brewed potion, their senses will heighten…”
That potion, the Athena’s Chalice. The potion that Snape had “accidentally” spilled. The same one he had spent at least two hours scrubbing away on his hands and knees.
“…and especially their memories. Some have even said the potion can stop memory loss. It is very effective with the mind.”
It is very effective with the mind…
James abruptly understood why he had not forgotten, why the spell had not worked on him. He had inhaled the harsh stench of the Athena’s Chalice for a long period of time; a long enough period of time for it to have a short but slight effect on him.
At once, Dumbledore seemed to have noticed James’s hazel eyes light up with realization.
“It was that potion. The Athena’s Chalice,” stated James somewhat distantly.
“Ah, the potion that holds many qualities; some discovered and some yet to be. A potion that heightens the senses, especially the mind.”
Especially the mind…
“I wish I had forgotten,” said James abruptly and bitterly, and Dumbledore gazed at him intently. “I don’t want this burden on my shoulder to know something and keep it away. Hide it away from the people I…”
James stopped uneasily. He felt that maybe if he didn’t say who the spell affected, it wouldn’t affect them by some miracle.
“You care about the most?” finished Dumbledore for him.
James felt his heart lurch awkwardly. “Yeah.”
“The truth is a difficult thing to carry, James, especially when the ones you love are the ones that don’t know it. The truth leads a person on a very lonely trail, but I believe that the reason why you were the only one to remember was not just a coincidence though. You were destined to walk on your own path.”
Destined to…
So was it destiny that finally, after so many fruitless attempts, that Lily admitted she loved him on the same night she would forget ever telling him?
James glanced into the sad pools of blue water that were his Headmaster’s eyes before turning to grasp the door knob. He couldn’t take being there in that room. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts and the memories of tonight; the only ones that were left existing. He wanted to run away and retreat into the silence of his dark thoughts; into the silent night.
On his way out, however, he stopped mid-way in the doorway and faced Dumbledore.
“Professor, I don’t know if this job exists, and if it does not, I will create it. I now know what I want to do with my life,” he said, and Dumbledore observed the tall teen sadly over his half-moon spectacles. The Headmaster knew somehow exactly what James Potter was going to say. “I want to make sure that something like this never happens to anybody else.”
From You Have I Been Absent in the Spring by Canadian Confessional
~Chapter Twenty-Four~
From You Have I Been Absent in the Spring
James sat down on his four poster bed and threw a few shirts and a ripped pair of jeans into his large, beat-up trunk. He let out a tired exhale and lay down as he closed his eyes. Warm sunlight from the morning sun came down upon his thin face through a nearby, open window. Small specks of dust (which became apparent due to the light) spiraled around freely in the air. A crisp breeze of spring air filed in and filled the stuffy dormitory.
It was already the last day of school, and time had flown by too quickly as always.
The room who he had shared with his three best friends was empty, save himself.
Remus had packed ahead of time and was most likely already preparing (with the other prefects) to help the first years and others get organized and on the train at the station in Hogsmeade.
Peter, however, had left everything until the last minute, just like James. His “packing” skills on the other hand, were much faster though. James recalled vaguely how he, Peter, and Sirius once had a “last-minute packing” contest last year. Peter was undoubtedly the victor by finishing a clean twenty-seven minutes ahead of the second. Peter was probably lugging his large trunk down the stairs of the first floor as James lay on his bed.
Sirius had amazingly and astonishingly packed ahead of time this year and was guaranteed to be nearly at the train station if not already there.
James knew why.
Opening his hazel eyes lazily, James heaved himself off the bed and grabbed a pile of clothing that was by his bed and shoved the pile in his trunk carelessly. After shutting it, he prayed to Merlin it wouldn’t spring open from the amount within it. He clutched his black book bag from beside his bed and slung it over his shoulder. While adjusting his robes and tie, James grasped the brass handle of his trunk, walked over to his oak dorm door, and opened it. With a heavy sigh, he took one last glance around the now empty room that had held so many fun times and eventful memories with his three best friends. Every moment was there, except one.
After closing his door quietly, he rushed down the stairs into the common room to notice that not a soul was present. The only sign of life came from the dying crackles of the fireplace from last night.
I’m late, as usual.
Stepping through the portrait hole, James made his way down the marble staircase that connected the sixth and seventh floors. As his foot landed on each stone step, his heart beat became awkward and irregular.
She kissed me there. he thought as he glanced at the side of the wall on his way down. She really did…
Once he walked through a tapestry and down to the first floor, he caught site of some last minute stragglers hurrying through the wide open double Entrance Hall doors. James chuckled to himself as he saw a couple of second years yelling, “We’re going to miss the train! We’re going to miss the bloody train!”
He knew he wasn’t going to be late. He had too much experience with almost missing the train in the past.
James walked slowly toward the door and outside onto the stone steps to face the flawless blue sky and strong sun. At that exact moment, he knew that his sixth year had come and gone, and at the back of his heart he dreaded going to his seventh year. That would be his last year, and from there he would be on his own.
Shaking his head, James snapped out of his thoughts to walk over to the large, gold entrance gates where there was someone waiting for him. Once there, he re-adjusted the strap of his book bag and dropped his trunk right next to him. Smiling, he ruffled his hair and gazed into a very familiar pair of chocolate brown eyes.
“So,” he began, “this is it.”
The girl nodded with a sad smile spreading across her face. “Yeah, it is.”
Audrey Filendale tossed her hair behind her ear thoughtlessly as she momentarily broke contact from James’s gaze.
Suddenly, something dawned upon him, and he had to blink a few times before squinting. Finally, after realizing what he was seeing was genuinely true, his eyes widened with bewilderment.
“Audrey, your hair, it’s- “
She blushed a soft crimson.
“It’s not purple anymore,” he exclaimed with astonishment as he observed her naturally coloured hair, which was exactly the “plain brown” that Audrey had always talked about when referring to her hair colour.
“I told you it was plain,” stated Audrey as if reading his mind.
He chuckled softly. “I'm sorry I ever doubted you.”
She smiled and smacked him in the shoulder playfully before saying, “So, what do you say, James Potter? Are we going to exchange some last minute advice with each other?”
“Sure, why not?”
“Alright,” started Audrey as she nodded comically, “my advice to you is to stop being such a sarcastic prat and to stop getting into trouble. And if you are up to no good, then make sure you don’t get caught.”
James laughed heartily. “I’ll try as best as I can.”
“You had also better write to me when I am in France.”
“If I have the time.”
She raised an amused eye brow at him before saying, “’If you have the time’?”
“I meant all the time.”
She shook her head hopelessly before letting out a giggle or two. “Alright, your turn.”
He shrugged his shoulders and adjusted his round-rimmed glasses. “I’m never good at stuff like this, just like I’m not good at that poetry st- “
“Oh!” said Audrey suddenly, and she immediately dug through her pockets to grasp two envelopes and hand them to him. “One is from Professor Dumbledore. He said it was for you, and the other one is from me.”
“Thanks, Audrey.”
James grasped the two letters carefully before gently placing them in his book bag.
A question lingered through his head, and he was reluctant to ask. He had to know though. He just had to.
“Did Sirius…” began James hesitantly, but Audrey cut him off.
“No, he isn’t coming to see me off,” she answered with a disappointed, yet understanding, smile. “It’s probably better off this way anyway.”
James was correct in thinking that the reason why Sirius had packed up so early and left for the train ahead of time was to avoid one last goodbye with Audrey. He knew that not being here was Sirius’s way of coping with her departure.
For a few seconds, the two were pulled into silence, and for the first time, the silence between them didn’t feel uncomfortable or awkward but symbolic and meaningful.
A few students running along the path to catch the train were heard joking around and laughing as they past the two. The distant sound of leaves ruffling from a slight breeze and last minute “goodbyes” filled the air.
Finally, Audrey held out her hand in a handshake gesture abruptly before saying somewhat hurriedly, “Well, it was good to know you, James Potter.”
Then suddenly, instead of taking her hand in a handshake, instead of replying with a shallow goodbye, instead of walking away regretfully, James hugged her.
Audrey stiffened immediately and felt a large wave of emotion hit her hard in the chest.
She hated goodbyes because she always fell to pieces.
Tears began to well up in her round eyes, and her breathing became constricted and uncontrollable. She felt James caress her back gently and telling her over and over again that it would all be OK.
“I do have a piece of advice, Audrey,” he whispered at such a quiet tone that it was barely audible. “Sometimes, you’ve got to let go of your fear and take a risk, a leap of faith. In life, a risk can turn into a mistake which ends up being the greatest thing that can ever happen to you.”
Audrey nodded, acknowledging this piece of information, and buried her face into his chest as he continued to comfort her. Both of them were locked in time; both only cherishing the moment.
When the two finally pulled apart, she gazed into his kind and loyal eyes as tears continued to fall one after another onto her cheeks. With all her strength she could muster, she gave James the most grateful smile that he had ever seen before in his life. Then, she turned away with her salty tears rolling down the sides of her small face. She walked out of the gates and into what looked like a magical car with the rest of her family.
“Bye, Audrey,” whispered James to himself as he watched the run down car back up, take off, and disappear from site.
There were only certain moments in James’s life where he felt deeply touched. One was when his grandfather, the only grandparent he had ever known, was in his hospital bed and told James right before he died, “Don’t die wondering.” Another time was when his mom and dad had given him a surprise birthday when he was five. The other event was right after the Marauders and he had pulled their first prank together. It was rare for James to feel deeply emotional, but his meeting with Audrey had truly touched him, maybe even deeper than some of the others.
Somewhere within him, James knew that he would never meet someone quite like Audrey ever again.
When James had finally reached the Hogsmeade train station, he was actually worried he was going to miss the train. He had missed the last stagecoach leaving Hogwarts and had no choice but to run on foot.
Remus immediately spotted him and headed over.
“Way to be fashionably late, Prongs,” said Remus with a grin while jumping onto the train. “Here, hand me your trunk.”
James passed his trunk over, and Remus started to walk to a nearby compartment. James was mid-step in following, when his hazel eyes caught a flash of red. Instantly, he turned to see that it was indeed Lily Evans helping some last minute third years onto the train.
Suddenly, he couldn’t move. He stood glued to the spot as he observed every fine detail that Lily Evans had. He noted everything from her slim figure to her soft, tall nose. Then, without warning, Lily abruptly and slowly turned to face him as if she knew that he was observing. She raised her eye brows curiously, and James smiled at her, a sad smile; a smile knowing he wasn’t meant to be with her.
Miraculously, Lily smiled back somewhat unsure, and the two were both caught in one spot smiling at each other as if the universe was weaving and revolving around them. At that time, they were alone. Everyone ceased to exist, and for that moment and that moment only, both of them forgot where they were and what they were doing. For them, there was only each other, standing, each not daring to step any closer to the other.
Then unexpectedly, the loud whistle of the train was blown, and James broke the gaze to turn away and clamber onto the train.
You’ll never know. thought James to himself. You’ll never know.
The train ride back home was long and tedious, as usual. The four Marauders had secured a compartment all to themselves and talked for the most part about their summer plans and what they were all thinking of doing.
Peter talked about travel over the summer with his parents while Remus (on the other hand) was thinking more on the lines of relaxing at home and pursuing a hobby of baking. Sirius rolled his eyes and explained that his summer was going to be the same intolerable, angry “family” time he always had during the summer break. James expressed that he was keen on thinking about new pranks and spending some time with his parents.
The four talked casually until the train started to come near its destination located in London. At this point, Remus explained he needed to attend one last briefing in the prefects’ compartment and left. Sirius and Peter had decided to change out of their robes and vacated the compartment as well. This left James by himself.
James stretched and yawned before glancing outside at the rain pattering softly on an open field of evergreen coloured grass, and the grey clouds above.
Distantly, a group of giggling girls could be heard passing his compartment, and the roar of the engine vibrated constantly.
He observed the fast moving pace of the streaming droplets of water on the glass window before sinking into thought.
James knew that the four of his friends did not remember. Obviously, if one of them remembered that night, they would have said something, anything. To James’s dismay though, they didn’t.
The morning after the memory charm had been cast, the three other Marauders talked about packing and how they were going to go home in a few days.
“This year past really fast, eh guys?” brought up Peter that very morning when all the Marauders had finally woken up to a new day.
Remus and Sirius both smiled at each other and agreed.
“It’s been an amazing year,” added Remus with a warm smile.
Sirius gave a half-hearted smirk. “Yeah.”
“It’s been real sweet,” said Peter with a wide grin plastered on his face.
Then, for some odd reason, the three turned to glance in James’s direction.
Sensing their stares and expectations to say something, he finally said (after a long and odd pause), “Yeah, it was too sweet.”
As James recalled his very words, his heart cracked unexpectedly, and an inner emotion of anguish washed over him. A sudden wave of anxiety and panic rose into his chest and the back of his throat. His mind wandered to Lily.
She didn’t remember anything that she said to him. All the explanations and confessions of loathing that was actually love. All the realization that she had explained to him, had never happened for her. She had forgotten it had ever happened. She would never know.
As James leaned his head back to glance up at the over head compartment, he caught site of his black book bag. Instantly remembering the letters Audrey had given him, he got to his feet and grasped the two letters out of his bag. Leaning once again back into his seat, he first unfolded Dumbledore’s letter that had his named etched on it with the Headmaster’s artistic hand writing.
Dear Mr. James Potter,
In recent light of the information that you know what you would like to do in your future occupation, I would like to present you with an opportunity that I believe will suit your interests. I am the Head and Founder of an organization called The Order of the Phoenix. The goal for this organization is to fight against dark wizards. At the moment a new, dark wizard named Lord Voldemort has become an increasing concern. The Order would greatly appreciate your services and participation in the fight against him and other followers. Please think thoroughly about the offer. Thank you for your most gracious time.
Albus Dumbledore
James placed the letter back into its envelope and held it in his two hands as he gazed at it intently.
His father had talked about such an organization fighting against this new “evil” called Lord Voldemort. Dumbledore had offered him a job in that organization.
James knew that he would take it without a second thought. He knew that this was what he wanted to do with his life.
It was always his dream to try and right all wrongs and come out a courageous hero in the process. That was the reason why being an Auror seemed to suit his interests for a while. Once he went to Hogwarts, however, his views changed. He found a knack for breaking rules and found it thrilling. Why would he want to go to a place where the rules are enforced? At the early age of twelve, James realized that being involved in the Ministry was too troublesome and wasn’t something he quite approved of. Years later, he saw that the Ministry was not only a rule enforcer but also unjust.
The Ministry wasn’t a dictatorship or tyrant controller, but some of its ideas and actions were (in James’s opinion) rather useless and unfocussed in helping the rest of the Wizarding World.
That was the reason he had no idea what he wanted to do with his life other than pranking of course. He thought it almost impossible that there would be a job that fit his ideals. Still, the thought about playing some courageous, selfless hero saving lives and righting wrongs did wander into his thoughts occasionally.
At present though, James’s dream job was falling right into his lap in the form of Dumbledore’s proposal. Now, more than ever before, James was even more determined to fight against the dark elements. One of the main reasons was because of the uneventful night occurring with the memory charm. He didn’t want anybody else to feel this same pain, the same feeling of unfairness and loss that he felt when he knew that the ones he cared about most had lost a part of themselves.
Was the job dangerous? Of course it was, but he knew that. He understood that with an obligation to this sort of job, it was his duty to risk his life for the lives of others. That was his dream, was it not?
Then, James’s heart did an odd loop, and something at the pit of his stomach lurched slightly. There was just one thing that James knew he had to do but tried to postpone facing.
Joining the Order was risky. All his loved ones would always be in some kind of danger because of him. He would be a marked man to the dark wizards of the world, and to hurt him, they might go to any means. Knowing and understanding this, James knew that he had to let go of the one person he loved more than anybody; Lily Evans. Even though he knew that somewhere within Lily really loved him the same way, he couldn’t afford to take the risk. Later on, if they still had a relationship together when he joined the Order, she would be in the most danger out of all his loved ones. He loved her too much to put her into that much risk. It was better never to have a relationship with her, than to have one with death around every corner. The truth and reality of it hurt him deeply, but he knew he had to. He had to let her go, for her sake.
Besides, he reasoned with himself that it was not a coincidence that Lily forgot. This was a sign, a sign saying that it was never meant to be. Everything led to one truth for James: joining the Order and that alone was his destiny.
Finally, he snapped his attention away from Dumbledore’s letter. James shook his head and put the letter back into his book bag out of site. Then, he sat back down again and unraveled Audrey’s letter that was wrapped neatly with a (ironically enough) dark violet ribbon. He glanced down at it as his eyes shuffled back and forth through each neatly written line.
To: James Potter
Well, this is it. I’m not very good at “goodbyes”, but you will probably know that by the time you read this. I just want to tell you that this year has just been amazing. I am so grateful to have met and become friends with someone as loyal, funny, and kind as you. Words will never truly describe our friendship, or my thankfulness of our fateful meeting at the top of the Astronomy Tower. Please promise me that you’ll visit up there on a winter night sometime. It’s really beautiful up there, but you probably know that better than anybody else. Even though this year has been really crazy, I believe it is the best year I have ever had at Hogwarts, and I’m really going to miss it. Thanks for the Transfiguration lessons, they have been really helpful, and I will never forget all the good times and talks we had. Women shave their legs to be beautiful, James. Hehehe, bet you remember that one, right? The memories have been great, and I will keep them with me forever. I want to make this short so I don’t take up too much of your time, but I guess what I want to say above all else is “thanks” for everything you’ve done for me. I’ll never forget it.
Friends forever,
Audrey
P.S. I promised, remember?
For a few seconds, James was slightly puzzled by the last words that Audrey had put in until he adjusted his sitting position and saw a folded piece of paper topple out of the letter envelope. Grasping the piece of loose parchment curiously, he unfolded it.
His hazel eyes observed the paper.
Absent in the Spring by William Shakespeare
As he read, he felt so many emotions overcome him. There was sadness, happiness, and most of all irony.
When he had finished reading it, he let out a bitter laugh. More than anything, James wanted to cry. He had learned this year that sometimes it’s OK to cry. For some reason though, the sad irony wouldn’t come out, and it was locked in a dark place within him. It was as if his grief was a wound cut too deep within him for tears to heal.
Audrey had promised that she would find a poem that would touch him, and (without actually knowing or realizing it) she did. She truly did.
The train finally pulled into King’s Cross Station about twenty minutes later. Many students clambered out to embrace their parents and relatives. People were talking excitedly to inform their loved ones of their “amazing” year. Others hugged each other and said something about writing and getting together sometime over the summer.
James peered over at his wide open compartment door to see a pair of second years laughing together as they dashed past it. He smiled before grasping his trunk off from overhead as his mind dived into Audrey’s letter.
Hath put a spirit of youth in every thing,
That heavy Saturn laughed and leapt with him.
“Could you be any slower, Prongs?” asked Sirius sarcastically as the grey-eyed teen poked his head into the compartment.
“I’m going,” replied James with a slight grin. “Sheesh, you are so impatient.”
Sirius rolled his eyes, and James swung his book bag across his shoulder before following. The two made their way through the train and out to the doors where their eyes were met with a sea of students mixed with relatives. James glanced around at everybody while he searched for his parents. As he avoided a third year boy getting kissed by his rather boisterous mother, he caught site of somebody very familiar. He stopped, and so did his world.
He saw Lily Evans embracing her mother warmly and with a bright smile that tugged at James’s heart strings. Her red hair brushed her shoulders as she pulled apart from her mom and turned to a skinny girl that appeared to be either a sister or cousin.
Nor did I wonder at the lily's white,
Nor praise the deep vermilion in the rose;
They were but sweet, but figures of delight,
Drawn after you, you pattern of all those.
A bittersweet smile crept across his face.
Oh, Evans, he thought, I really do love you.
James shook his head determinedly.
He said he wasn’t going to put her into danger. He had to stop loving her. He needed to let go.
I can’t, Evans. I can’t. he told himself as he tore his attention away from her and started to walk around to find his parents again. I will always keep the memory of what you said inside of me though. Nothing will ever take that away from me. I will remember it forever.
Yet seemed it winter still, and you away,
As with your shadow I with these did play.
James moved through a crowd of embracing fourth years (who had tears their eyes) to finally see the Marauders, their relatives and family, and his parents. He strolled over to them with a grin, and embraced his parents (the oldest out of all the other parents) with a large, warm hug.
“Good to have you back, son,” said his father with a wide smile. “You pranked Mrs. Norris for me, right?” added Mr. Potter jokingly as he whispered the question into his son’s ear.
James nodded with amusement before going over to his friends for one last parting goodbye.
“Well, another year gone,” sighed Peter depressed.
“Cheer up, Wormtail! We all still have one more year! We’ll still have one last chance to have good memories,” said Remus as he slung his arm around Peter.
“The big seven,” added Sirius with a smirk. “Also, we’ll have more pranks to pull. Already started thinking about next year.”
The Marauders let out a chuckle.
“It is our final year,” pointed out Remus. “I think this will need to be something legendary.”
Peter hooted dangerously.
“Moony, Moony, I am shocked! Such assumptions coming from you of all people!” mocked Sirius playfully, and James elbowed the black haired teen in the ribs.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, without a warning, someone brushed James lightly on the back. Immediately, he whipped around on his heel to see Lily Evans passing by him, waving with the same bright smile that she had given her mother just a few minutes before.
“Have a good summer, Potter,” she said, and her green eyes sparkled brightly.
“You too, Evans,” he replied, and she turned away from him, her crimson hair wavering slightly in the warm spring breeze.
He watched her with unblinking eyes until she eventually vanished into the crowd of people and beyond site.
From you, Lily, have I been absent in the spring…
The other three Marauders hooted and whistled as James turned back to them.
“Something you haven’t been telling us, Prongs?” asked Remus as Sirius and Peter chuckled to each other.
“Maybe,” answered James with a slight smirk, “just maybe.”
Peter was still laughing, when suddenly Natasha came over and gave Peter a wide kiss on the lips. He turned a vibrant, deep shade of red before telling Natasha that he would write over the summer.
The Marauders, once again, went into whistles and laughter.
The four best friends joked around for a few more minutes until they all knew that they inevitably had to part.
James waved goodbye to his three best friends of his life before walking over to his parents’ bright, smiling faces.
“Ready to go?” asked his mother who had just finished scolding Mr. Potter for telling James to abuse Mrs. Norris.
“Yeah,” he replied as he took one last glance at his friends go their separate ways, “I’m ready.”
As he followed behind his parents and passed a whole bunch of other students and parents, he thought about this year, his sixth year. It had been different, that was for sure. So much had happened such as his fights with Sirius, saving Snape, meeting Audrey, the memory charm incident, talking with Lily, and finding more about himself than ever before. Sure, the year was difficult but so many hurdles in his life had been overcome. More than ever before, James felt he was finally experiencing and understanding reality and the real world. He felt he was finally experiencing life and all its unexplainable beauty.
As James turned the corner (symbolizing the ending of a chapter within him), a smile made its way across his face.
Yeah, it was sweet, he thought to himself as he glanced up at the flawless blue sky above him, too sweet to remember.
A/N: Credit to Absent in the Spring by William Shakespeare. Thanks to everyone for their reviews/comments! They have been most constructive, encouraging, and helpful! I just wish I had the time to get back to them all!
Epilogue by Canadian Confessional
Author's Notes:
For anyone who ever wanted to know...
~Epilogue~
Lily watched the dust particles swirl up into a beam of sunlight coming from her open dormitory window as she shut her trunk swiftly. Running her fingers gently through her tangled crimson hair, she exhaled as she peered around the room.
Sleeping in three other scarlet draped four poster beds were all three of her dormitory mates still fast asleep. Lily smiled to herself as she took a moment to absorb the silence (which was rare for the room usually filled with laughs, gossip, and commotion) that filled the room. She adjusted the strap of her brown book bag on her shoulder and grasped the handle of her trunk.
Somewhere within her, Lily was overcome by an odd wish; a wish that this sixth year at Hogwarts wasn’t ending. She felt it strange that she was sad to see the summer. Usually, she would be ecstatic to go back home and relax away from all the studying and drama of school, but this year, she wanted desperately to turn back the hands of time to February or even just till May. She wanted anything, something, to delay time.
“I- I’ll play second base…”
Lily’s recollections were snapped, and she turned her immediate attention to a girl in a nearby bed with wavy, flowing, chestnut coloured hair. Lily stifled a giggle as she watched her friend, Bree, toss over on one side and start mumbling about playing forward in a football game.
Taking a large inhale, Lily shook her head (which reassured herself), walked to the oak door of her dormitory, opened the door quickly and soundlessly, slipped outside onto the girls’ stairs, and closed the door behind her gently.
As she made her way along a fifth level corridor, her mind wandered. She recalled all the events that highlighted her memorable (at times confusing but exciting) sixth year. Her year (being a prefect and having an even larger homework load than last year) was extremely busy and often times stressful, but she did find ways to divert her frustration. Her clearest recollection, however, of releasing her frustration was when she dueled with James Potter.
That day had been filled with listless and boring lectures from professors, finishing a four page Transfiguration essay, fatigue from staying up late the previous night, and a slight argument with Bree before dinner in the Great Hall. So, upon seeing James Potter doing one of his childish pranks at the expense of others finally sparked a fire within her cool interior. She was more than glad to duel with him to release her anger. She had to admit that at the end of the duel, her nerves had been relaxed and her focus renewed.
Even though she felt overloaded with work and responsibilities, she did make time for other, more valuable activities. She remembered fondly staying up late on Friday nights with the girls in her dormitory gossiping, having pillow fights, laughing, and on occasion playing “risky” poker where instead of using betting chips, they would substitute Firewhisky or cheap mulled mead smuggled in from Hogsmeade.
Amanda (the rather “sensible” of the group as she was called by the other three) and Jamie (although Jamie was in Hufflepuff House) had always been against the under-aged drinking concept. Nonetheless, Lily and Bree’s persuasive (often rebellious) attitude was too addicting and overpowering for the two girls. In the end, even Jamie joined in and was sometimes not present in her own common room in the morning on the following Saturday due to a slight hangover.
Lily’s reflection of enjoyment about all the fun times that she and her friends had had together took an odd turn though as she rounded a corner of the third floor.
For some unexplainable reason, her mind stumbled back to her and Brendan. She recalled how she first caught sight of the Hufflepuff boy across the Great Hall during the ending ceremonies of fifth year. She had to admit that Brendan’s tall, handsome figure did draw her in at first. What could be better than an athletic (seeing as he was the Hufflepuff Quidditch Captain), popular, good-looking guy? He was a rather shy character though, and if it wasn’t for Lily’s persistence to get to know him better, nothing would have happened at all. Brendan proved to be an intelligent fellow with a realistic sense of humor, although somewhere within Lily longed for him to say something more or to be more spontaneous. There was always something missing.
She sighed lightly as she remembered with clarity his exact words.
~
“Lily, just listen to me,” he said with desperation as she turned away from him.
He grasped her gently by the shoulder. “I care about you so much.”
She whipped around with her breath caught in her throat, outrage bubbling through her skin.
“Don’t say that if you don’t mean it,” she replied coldly before exhaling. “Don’t you dare say that.”
She brushed his hand from her shoulder roughly and turned to walk from the grounds back into the school where she would just have to cope and convince herself that Brendan wasn’t intellectual enough (which she initially presumed) to see her qualities.
“Lily! I meant it, alright!” called Brendan, and she stopped.
She found herself in an unusual and rare situation: she was uncertain and unsure of herself.
A bolt of lightning touched down in the distance, and the brooding, dark clouds above began to drop bucketfuls of typical England rainfall.
“I care about you, Lily, and that is the reason why I see it’s not going to work. I know you don’t feel the same way as I do. You want- no- you need somebody else.”
Her back was still turned to him as she watched the rain continue to fall. She felt with discomfort that her shirt was getting soaked through and through. Her hair was beginning to stick to the sides of her cheeks.
“I don’t need somebody else!” she retorted while spinning around. “Brendan I told you that I…”
Lily trailed off as she observed his broken expression.
“Don’t,” he started as his chestnut coloured hair appeared almost black due to the rain, “don’t you dare say that.”
He shook his head slightly as he approached her. “You don’t know what you want, because you aren’t accepting what you really need.”
Then, without warning, he embraced her and whispered, “I wish you luck with James Potter. He is one lucky guy.”
~
Lily rolled her eyes wearily as she adjusted the strap of her bag. Pushing open the Entrance Hall doors, her lungs were met with a heave of fresh spring, morning air. Tightening her grip on her trunk, she made her way onto the pathway leading to the train station.
Normally, she would have taken a stagecoach down to the station (which was quite a distance from the castle), but somewhere within her wanted to enjoy the morning. Besides, she had woken up earlier than usual and thought that she was obliged to do so.
Of course breaking up with somebody was always difficult. Everybody knew that; male or female. Lily Evans had had her share of romances and heart ache, but the reason why she panicked (panicked enough to get drunk and roam the halls aimlessly) after Brendan broke up with her was still a mystery. Was it because she really did like him in a different, more affectionate light? No, no, it wasn’t that. She had realized that by now. What was different than all the other break-ups, then?
With relief, Lily caught site of the Hogsmeade station, and she shoveled her hair behind her shoulders. Walking over, she noted that she was the first prefect (first anyone, actually) there. Climbing onto the empty, red train, she found a compartment to place her bag and trunk in.
The walk had caused her to heat up slightly and even though her cheeks were rosy from the crisp air, her body was hot. Taking off her robe, she placed it on top of her bag carelessly and rolled up the sleeves of her shirt. As she loosened her tie uncomfortably, the silence of the train caught her attention. Suddenly and spontaneously, she stopped all movement and closed her eyes to listen to the emptiness consume her.
James Potter. Why had Brendan mentioned James Potter of all people? Sure, he had the majority of Hogwarts crazy about him and the other “Marauders”. Yes, he was also a rather talented Quidditch player. Why though would Brendan say Lily Evans of all people would like James Potter? Almost all of the student body knew that Lily despised (though was entertained by) the Marauders and most of all, the ringleader, James. He was arrogant about his abilities on the field and in class. Lily sometimes wondered how his bloated head was able to stay on his shoulders. Also, the fact that he asked her out every chance he got also put him on her “people-not-worth-my-time” list. Amused but unimpressed, Lily remained stubborn to fact: Potter equals immature forever.
Although, Lily had to confess (which she hated doing) that there was a noticeable change within James this year. There was that whole incident in the Forbidden Forest with Fang and the Centaurs. Then, there was that tutoring note to that fourth year girl, and Lily discovered that James Potter could play the piano (though not at a very high level). However, the tune of the duet still came to her mind every so often…
SSSSHHHHH!
Lily’s oval eyes sparked open immediately as she heard the sound of the train door slide open. Tucking a strand of crimson hair behind her ear, she hurried out of her compartment into the hallway to see a teen with slightly graying almond coloured hair.
“Remus!” called Lily, and she walked over to him with a friendly smile. “A little late, aren’t we?” she teased as she grasped his book bag to help him.
He raised an amused eyebrow. “I guess I am. I bet the whole school is already here.”
“Of course they are! Just look at this train,” Lily stated mockingly as she pointed to the empty compartments.
Remus chuckled softly as he followed Lily into a compartment where she placed his book bag overhead.
“I hope this year Lee doesn’t come late. We had our hands full with all the first years last year,” said Lily as Remus placed his trunk overhead as well.
“I know what you mean. I think I almost missed the train because I was too busy looking out for any last minute stragglers,” he replied tiredly as the two stepped into the hallway of the train.
Lily giggled lightly as both of them continued to talk casually on their way outside onto the platform.
During the Hogwarts Christmas Party, Lily was excited like a small child eagerly awaiting Christmas morning. She and Brendan had just begun dating, and she couldn’t wait to spend time with him at the party. While she danced away to the music with her friends, ate and drank, and laughed, she had to concede something. She had actually caught site of James a couple of times dancing away with a few girls. The odd thing was not all the girls were popular and beautiful. They were plain, unpopular, and normally invisible.
A pang of guilt went through her momentarily for thinking that he was going to bring some kinky, poorly dressed seventh year in an attempt to make her jealous. The fact was she wouldn’t have been jealous if he did bring such a girl, but she was envious of the plain girls he did dance with.
Why don’t you ask him? she had thought at the time as she observed James unnoticeably from a distance.
It wouldn’t have been a big deal. Brendan respected and trusted her, and she had told him how she owed James for something (though she never explained all the details of the Forbidden Forest expedition).
Would James get the wrong impression though?
They were on rather friendly terms when she kept him company up at the Hospital Wing, and Lily wasn’t sure whether or not James knew about her dating Brendan Fraser.
She had to take into account that she was starting to feel that James Potter's attempts for her could actually be genuine.
Would I be leading him on? Do I want to put him and myself in such an awkward situation?
Shaking her head and exhaling sharply, she headed back over toward the punch table.
Throughout the night, Lily tried her best to avoid James, and it worked. Every time she saw him, she would either go into a large group of people surrounding the treats table, cross the room, or (if there was no other choice) hurriedly go to the bathroom. It wasn’t until there was a deafening silence that came over the room pierced with argument that Lily came eye-to-eye with James Potter.
He was bleeding heavily from his nose, and the one side of his glasses was brutally shattered. She surveyed his ensuing confusion and humiliation after Sirius had left, and when he abruptly turned to face her, she had no idea what to do. Questioning herself, she remained by Brendan’s side, conveying a sad expression to him until a younger girl grasped him by the hand and led him out the Great Hall and out of sight.
Lily never did find out exactly what had occurred between Sirius, the fourth year, and James, but her curiosity was satisfied when she saw James and Sirius once again themselves after Winter Break.
“You just put your trunk and bag overhead in the compartment you will be traveling in,” explained Lily to a shy first year girl before pointing in the direction of a train door.
Sighing, she glanced up to see a pet cat chase a mouse around a student holding some books in hand until the student tripped and fell in a heap.
“This is going to be a while,” whispered Lily under her breath before proceeding to help the fallen student.
Then, there was the Quidditch match in February. Being an avid fan (though she rather stay on the ground and not get her teeth nailed out by a Bludger), she was excited for the match against Hufflepuff for two reasons. One was because she wanted to boast to Brendan that Gryffindor was the better team. The second reason was because she enjoyed getting caught up in the crowd’s enthusiasm and excitement.
As she watched the match, she found herself overcome with an unusual feeling while watching Brendan. She had never dated someone who could impress her so much with his quick skill on the Quidditch field. She felt herself blush somewhat foolishly with pride that Brendan was her boyfriend. Just as she smiled though, she became aware of something extraordinary going on. Leaning over the edge eagerly (with the rest of the crowd), she saw James competing to try and catch the Snitch; an obvious Quidditch foul.
At that moment, something was triggered within her. She wasn’t just angry for James trying to ruin his team’s chances with his stupidity, but she was angry at herself for believing he had truly and genuinely changed. The fact was, he had proved her wrong, and she resented him for it.
Scowling, she instinctively made her way down the stands. She heard Bree and Jamie calling after her, but she ignored them completely as she quickly found a small hiding place underneath the bleachers. Whipping out her wand, she muttered a spell soundlessly before flicking her wrist fluently to produce an almost invisible spark that made its way from the stands to hit James Potter’s glasses dead on.
Her plan had worked, and he faltered just enough for Brendan to snatch the Golden Snitch right from under his nose.
“Remus!” called Lily after she had stolen a glance from her wrist watch. “Where is Lee?!”
Remus looked over his shoulder as he herded a few second years into a nearby train door.
“Is he not here?!” asked Remus incredulously.
“What?!” she yelled, straining her ears to try and hear him over the hustle and bustle of the students going on and off the platform. “What did you say?!”
She could see Remus say something but was unsure of exactly what it was.
“Great,” she muttered as she rolled her eyes, “just great.”
As the Hufflepuff team embraced Brendan in a massive wave of hugs, Lily silently made her way behind the bleachers and down onto the ground. Once there, she caught Brendan on his way to the change room and explained to him that she had something to do and not to wait up for her. Slightly confused, Brendan nodded before watching her run off in the direction of the Gryffindor change room.
After purposely waiting for all the other Gryffindor Quidditch players (so as not to embarrass James) to leave, she quietly headed into the change room knowing exactly what she was going to say. To her dismay, James Potter had a sharper tongue than she had first expected.
He produced many comebacks, some hitting closer to home than he probably knew. The little things that she kept inside, the small things that no one knew she wondered about, James mentioned. The way she always wanted to be right, her stubbornness, and her occasional self-centered point of view were just the few that James had mentioned before telling her “the big confession”.
“Whatever your plans are, they will no longer include me, because it’s over, Evans. It’s over.”
After he had said it, she bubbled up with so many conflicting emotions. Her pride and her conscience clashed violently within her before being taken over by a sudden coolness that came from nowhere.
Why had she been so cold with her reply? Shouldn’t she have said something more compassionate, more forgiving?
When Lily walked away, she felt an odd, disappointing sadness reside inside her even though her logic had clearly pointed out that there was nothing to feel sad about. She should be happy (overjoyed even) that she no longer had to worry about a new way to shoot down Potter’s requests. Was she worried about his requests though? Did she perhaps enjoy out-witting him and actually (dare she even think it) joking around with the messy haired teen? Did she take pride in toying around with his feelings? Was it actually she who wasn’t serious about anything? Could she be the immature one?
“Bloody hell,” cursed Lily under her breath as she saw the other prefect, Lee, running toward the train to help.
“I’m so sorry I’m late,” he panted with his trunk in his hand and clothing hanging out of it. “My dorm mates turned my alarm clock off for a cruel joke, and I tried waking up by myself, but my natural clock is a bit wayward and- “
“Lee,” started Lily with an unimpressed eyebrow raised, “just shut-up and help.”
After the February Quidditch match, Lily refrained from having any interaction with James Potter, although that wasn’t too difficult. He no longer stared all dreamy-eyed at her and begged to talk to her everyday. On the contrary, he was outright indifferent, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t help feel irritated by his new demeanor.
What happened to that cocky exterior? What happened to the James that she grew to find amusing, even admiring.
It bugged her to the point that she would even point it out to Brendan, who was clearly uninterested in the topic of “James Potter”.
“Don’t you find it strange that he is not doing anything?” asked Lily one night when she was finishing homework with Brendan in the library.
Brendan surveyed his parchment before jotting something down with his quill.
“I don’t know. Maybe he is just maturing up,” he replied with unconcern.
In the end, Lily’s thoughts would work their way back to how she didn’t say something more apologetic to him in February.
One night, after she tossed in bed filled with sleeplessness, she went down to the common room (wrapped in a small blanket) and watched the last dying flames in the vast Gryffindor fireplace.
Her words of apology she would have said to him that day repeated in her head over and over again. At a point, she wished more than ever that James Potter was reading her mind and was going to appear at the bottom of the boys’ dormitory stairs at any moment. Then, she would confess to him exactly what she wanted to say two months ago. To her disappointment, however, no such thing happened, and she ended up going back upstairs an hour later to toss in bed once again.
Little did she know that James Potter was awake. He was tossing in bed, regretting his actions. Just like her.
Luckily for her, her chance for an apology would come, even though it wasn’t in words.
As she watched a blind James Potter dangling from his Nimbus, her logic was taken over by a sudden rush of rash emotions. Without saying a word, she dashed from Brendan’s side (ignoring his calls after her) and went down to her little hiding spot beneath the bleachers. Swiftly taking out her wand, she watched as the jet-black haired teen released the grip on his broom, grasped the Golden Snitch, and headed straight for the ground. Whispering an incantation, she sent it straight for James Potter, and for the second time, she hit him dead on.
His fall slowed by a sudden, “mysterious” gust of wind, and he got to the ground to be surrounded by cheers and hugs.
Lily smiled.
Action speaks louder than words. she had thought triumphantly at the time.
Unfortunately, Brendan had thought the same thing.
He felt his girlfriend was distant, and her constant mentioning of James Potter caught more of his attention than he let on. As soon as he saw James’s fall being slowed by someone other than James himself, Brendan knew it was none other than Lily.
Glancing around somewhat frantically, Lily made sure that no one got left behind. Lee had done a horrible job, as usual, with helping the other prefects. Now, the only ones remaining on the platform were Remus and Lily.
“We made it!” Lily heard one student yell from behind her.
She whipped around to see a couple third year students running toward the train.
“Hurry up!” called Lily before whispering under her breath, “Third years…”
Sighing, she tucked a few stray strands of crimson hair behind her ear wearily before gazing off into space. Waking up early and walking down had taken a toll on her, not to mention yelling and organizing all the students was energy draining.
As she shook her head thoughtlessly, she got the odd feeling as if she was being watched, observed even. Turning her head slightly, she caught site of a jet-black coloured, messy haired, bespectacled teen. Instantly and without explanation, her green eyes were locked with his hazel ones.
He was smiling at her, but it wasn’t that usual cheesy smile she was used to when he asked her out or made a fool of himself. Nor was it a cocky, show-off smirk, but something different. She couldn’t quite put a finger on it, but it was a charming smile, a smile knowing something that she didn’t, but not in a boasting or superior way. In a sense, she found it intriguing but at the same time not.
Hesitant of exactly what to do, she smiled back at him in an unsure way as the two were lost in each other.
Lily had forgotten completely about her prefect duties, the train leaving soon, and even where she was. All she knew at that moment was James Potter and her were having an unexplainable connection that couldn’t and wouldn’t wait.
His lips were curved into a smile, but his large hazel eyes were big and sad as if he were hurt; wounded. Suddenly, she could see within him and feel something was broken, like there was a cut too deep to heal, and for the oddest reason, Lily felt that the world was oblivious to his pain. Only she could see his sadness, anguish, and agony, only her.
At that moment than ever before, she wanted to run over to him, grasp him by the his rugged shirt collar, and tell him not only how sorry she was, but also why she did what she did, and how she really felt about him. For some reason though, she dared not to step any closer to him in fear that doing so would result in her telling him the truth.
Why didn’t she want to tell him the truth though? What was so wrong about that?
Then, as if on cue, the whistle of the train burst into the air, and James abruptly (breaking the connection) clambered onto the train.
Dashing to the nearest train door herself (after an uncertain, momentarily pause), Lily jumped on just in time right before the red steam engine began to move.
You’ll never know the truth, will you James? she thought to herself as she leaned against the closed train door that vibrated from the roar of the engine. You’ll never know.
Exhaling sharply to regain her composure, she made her way down the hallway of the train filled with excited chatter and conversations about the future.
When Lily woke up in James Potter’s room the day after her little “break-up-drinking” escapade, she could have gotten the complete and utter wrong impression. Waking up in a guy’s dormitory after being drunk in a night she could barely remember at all didn’t usually add up to the most pleasing results. Luckily for Lily and James, she knew that he meant well, and even though he might be- no- he used to be an arrogant prat, he was definitely not a disgusting pervert. The thought she had as soon as she gathered herself and discovered where she had woken up was that James Potter had bailed her out once again. He had watched her back when her immaturity had turned it ever so slightly.
Coming up on her compartment, she leaned against the door to hear laughter and out-spoken talk going on.
“Did I miss something?” asked Lily with a mischievous grin as she slid open the door, stepped inside, and slid it closed behind her.
“Nothing much, Evans,” replied Bree as she lay down a pair of cards on two stacked up trunks in the middle of the compartment which was being used as a poker table. “Beat that bitches!”
“I just might,” retaliated Amanda Hall as she lay down her cards. “Yeah, what are you going to say about that?”
“Huh?! How is that possible?!” questioned Bree as she stroked her hands through her curly, chestnut coloured hair.
“Oh, it’s possible,” added Emily Howard, the third girl in the compartment.
“So, what will it be? Truth, dare, or nick Sirius Black’s knickers?” asked Amanda triumphantly with her arms crossed and her straight, chocolate brown hair tucked neatly behind her ears.
“Obviously not the third choice,” shot back Bree unenthusiastically. “What’s the point of having that choice anyway? No one ever picks it.”
“Well, Lily’s done it,” pointed out Emily matter-of-factly as Bree rolled her eyes.
“That’s wrong, girl,” said Bree while turning toward Lily.
Lily shrugged with a broad grin as she sat down next to Bree. “I did it, didn’t I?”
“Hey, guys,” began Sirius suddenly as the Marauders were in mid-conversation about their sixth year, “I just remembered that I never found my mysterious missing pair of knickers.”
The three turned toward him with raised eyebrows.
“You mean the sheep patterned ones?” inquired James.
“Yeah, those were the ones.”
After a few seconds of odd silence, the Marauders broke into extreme laughter.
“Maybe some crazy chick from ‘the list’ stole them,” offered James while laughing with the three other Marauders.
“Maybe, eh?”
The train ride had been long, but surrounded by her friends, Lily felt that the destination in London came just a bit too soon. As the train pulled in, the four girls were still talking about doing something over the summer together and joking around about life.
“Don’t worry, I’ll promise to bring the g-cracks if we go hiking this summer,” joked Emily, and the other three burst into laughter.
Lily grasped her trunk and bag overhead as the other three were beginning to file out of the compartment.
Heading outside, Lily’s oval-shaped eyes were met with a sea of students, parents, friends, and relatives all mixed together. The scene was as if it came from a chaotic Picasso painting.
Some things never change. thought Lily to herself.
“Lily!” called somebody, and it took a second of her searching through the vast crowd to see Jamie standing by her parents while waving her over.
Grinning, Lily headed in her direction.
“Hey,” she said before embracing Jamie warmly. “Thanks, looking for my parents would have taken almost forever in this mess.”
She giggled lightly.
Walking over to her parents and sister, Petunia, Lily hugged her dad tightly and then her mother. Breaking away, she turned toward Petunia with a smile that was full of gladness to see her stubborn and lanky sister once again.
“Hey, Peony,” addressed Lily jokingly while re-adjusting her book bag strap.
“Hi,” replied Petunia coolly, even though Lily saw a flicker of a smile come from the bony-necked girl.
“Lily!”
Whipping around, Lily was met with hugs from her four Gryffindor dorm mates.
“Thought you’d leave without saying a proper goodbye?” teased Emily jokingly as she pushed her burgundy coloured hair aside.
“We have to do this camping trip, OK?” added Bree, and Amanda slung an arm around Emily. “You too, Jamie, you’ve got to come!”
“Camping? Sounds like a plan,” answered Jamie excitedly.
“I’m pretty sure my parents can accommodate me going away for a week or so,” said Lily as she shot a glance at her parents immersed in conversation with Amanda’s parents, and Petunia glancing down at her feet in discomfort.
“Pictures anyone?” asked Emily’s older brother enthusiastically who seemed to pop out of nowhere.
“Please, Kenton, no pictures,” whined Emily, but the other four girls were already striking poses.
“C’mon, Howard!” shouted Bree as she got into a “peace” sign pose. “Get into the picture already!”
Rolling her eyes with amusement, she reluctantly struck a pose as Kenton Howard shot the picture.
After some last minute laughs, summer plan making, and a thousand hugs later, the five girls finally knew they had to part. Each waving goodbye to the end, they went their separate ways with their respective families.
Lily still had a smile spread wildly across her face as she walked a little bit behind her parents and sister leaving the station.
What a weird year. she thought as she avoided a group of chatting seventh year teens. So many things happened, but everything seemed to turn out alright. Even though all the events weren’t the best, I learned and grew from them. I guess that that is just life. It’s always unpredictable, different, and joyous all at the same time. The best things happen when you least expect them to and that’s what makes it so beautiful. The thing I learned this year above all else though is that certain things people feel and emotion truly does get people caught up in the moment. For goodness sake, I was almost thinking of going up to James Potter and saying- no- telling him something. I don’t even know what I would have said. I doubt he likes me even remotely anymore especially after the Quidditch match in February. I have to say it was a good thing I didn’t do anything. I would have made a fool of myself…
Moving around a couple more students and parents, Lily’s green eyes were met with a site that made her stomach lurch oddly.
You wanted to say sorry, Lily. Why not now? You aren’t going to see him for two months. Just say it, or you’ll regret it. Just do it. Just say it.
As she began to approach James, her heart beat sped up, and she was torn between her choices.
Say it. Don’t do it. Just say it. Say it. Say something.
Exhaling coolly, she brushed him on the back with her slender hand to get his attention before saying with a sparkling smile, “Have a good summer, Potter.”
“You too, Evans,” he replied with a slightly taken aback but warm smile.
Turning, she walked away carrying a bright smile across her soft lips, although somewhere inside her felt empty.
She hadn’t said anything- at least- she hadn’t said what she wanted to say.
What was so wrong with saying sorry, to admit she was (for once) wrong?
Sighing as a sweep of a warm breeze passed through her crimson hair, she glanced up at the flawless blue sky above her.
There’ll be other chances, Evans. Cheer up. You have a seventh year to look forward to, and besides, it is the summer. Enjoy yourself, don’t worry so much about it.
As she turned the corner, she felt herself step into the feeling of listless nights and long, hot days that came with the summer season.
Somewhere within her heart she knew that her school year had ended, and with it, her days of childish, immature, and naive actions. She was getting older, and the reality of being independent in the world was not a far cry from now. Stepping into this new world of adults, choices, and important decisions meant that at that moment, she was ending a part of her life. For some unexplainable reason though, she wasn't afraid to step forward to face her future. On the contrary, she knew that there were plenty more adventures and experiences to come, and that a new chapter of her life was only just about to be written.
~END~
A/N: Hi everyone! Well, this is it. I’d like to make this short so as not to take up too much of your time, but what I want to say is: THANK YOU SO MUCH! I’ve had a memorable and amazing time writing this story, and everyone’s reads, reviews, and comments have been most appreciated. I feel so honored to have people who will read my story. I couldn’t have done it without all of you! I might write a sequel, but right now, I just need some relax/down time. Special thanks to the moderators and J.K. Rowling for creating such an amazing world to frolic in! Thanks, it’s been an unforgettable ride.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.