Summary: In this sequel to Harry's Our What???, James and Lily have time-travelled to the past and finally found out the truth about who their son is. Meanwhile, in their true time-frame, the Marauders have concocted a plan to rescue James and Lily. But when they arrive in Harry's time, they realize they can't get back and must seek the aid of their older counterparts.
Categories: Humor Fics Characters: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 7
Completed: No
Word count: 17066
Read: 29869
Published: 09/16/05
Updated: 09/01/07
1. In Which Sirius Meets His Idol (Sir Elton John) by Kelsid
2. In Which James Finds Out the Awful Truth by Kelsid
3. In Which the Plot Actually Progresses by Kelsid
4. In Which Many Things Happen by Kelsid
5. In Which the Progress Made in the Last Chapter Backtracks by Kelsid
6. James and the Giant Squid by Kelsid
7. Chapter 7 by Kelsid
In Which Sirius Meets His Idol (Sir Elton John) by Kelsid
Quote of the Chapter Which Is Completely Irrelevant to the Story
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Presenter: *talking to filing cabinet* It should send you back to Blighty with a big lead.
Mr. Grayson: *from inside the filing cabinet* Oh yes, well, we're fairly confident, David.
Presenter: Well at the moment, Ludovic, you're crouching down inside a filing cabinet.
Mr. Grayson: Yes, that's right, David, I'm trying not to be seen.
Presenter: I see. Is this through fear?
Mr. Grayson: Oh no, no, it's common sense really. If they can't see you, they can't get you.
Presenter: Ha, ha, ha, but of course they can still hear you.
Mr. Grayson: Ha, ha… huh? *The filing cabinet explodes*
-Monty Python’s Flying Circus
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HOGWARTS, MEET THE MARAUDERS
The sequel to HARRY’S OUR WHAT???
By Kelsid
Professor Dumbledore looked out of his window, surveying the scene below. A teenager with messy, dark hair stood beside two other students, laughing. In his green eyes, there was an eager look, as if the pace the conversation was unfolding at was too slow. Like the eyes of a child who had Christmas come early.
He could understand why… the two people with Harry were his parents. Come from the past in their 6th year, they had finally met Harry. They still had not found the spell to bring them back into the past, but he would eventually. Harry needed the joy in his life.
The sun was setting, and James, Lily and Harry were entering the castle again. Everything seemed picturesque… but not for long. Because what no one knew, save Moaning Myrtle, was that the Marauders had followed James and Lily. They were simply hiding, and waiting for an opportunity to corner James and Lily alone. If they didn’t kill each other first.
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“Sirius, you’ve got to stop singing,” Remus muttered through gritted teeth. They had, in a smart move, switched their hideout to Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom. The only downside was that Sirius was free to sing to his heart’s content, since he had the illusion he was a pop singer in the future. Remus had tried to convince him several times that not only was he probably not a singer, but why would he be, since he sucked at it? But Sirius did not take this into consideration as he belted out “Tiny Dancer.” Even worse, the only songs he’d sing were Elton John.
“Please?” Peter asked timidly, crouched against a bathroom sink. He was playing with his magic wand and rolling it in the crevices of the tiles, very bored.
Giving them both the death glare, Sirius went on to sing even louder. “BALLARIINNAAA… You should’ve seen her… dancing in the SAAAAAANDD….”
“We need to get out of here,” Remus whispered to Peter, who nodded in agreement. Moaning Myrtle, however, clapped her hands at Sirius’s performance. She, apparently, was enjoying it.
“See if anyone’s out in the hallway,” instructed Remus, ushering Peter toward the door. “If there isn’t, we can hide out in a spare classroom.”
Nodding, Peter peeked outside the door. Nobody in sight. Peter breathed a sigh of relief, when suddenly; a gaggle of girls turned the corner. Shutting the door quickly, Peter shook his head.
Remus sighed. Now they were going to be stuck in here for a long, long time. Jesus, wasn’t there someway to get out? “Peter,” he said, “try again.”
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James strolled in the castle halls, watching the candlelight flicker on the wall. Everything seemed to be a dream… Harry… Lily actually liking him… Remus old… Lucius Malfoy had a son…
Finally, James realized he had reached the door to Remus’s classroom. He should probably be in bed at the boy’s dormitory, not wandering around the castle, but…
Entering quietly, he found Remus writing on a piece of paper, frowning slightly. He looked busy. James was about to exit as silently as he entered, when Remus looked up and gave a smile.
“Sit down. I was almost finished with this anyway.”
James did as he was told, seating himself across from Remus. Finally, the older man put down his pen and smiled kindly.
“So, you had a long talk with Harry, I hope?”
“Yeah.” James sighed, eyes going dreamy again. “He’s really… well… It’s weird. You know, he’s my kid. And I’m technically just a kid. But it’s just that I feel... like…” He moved his arms in large gestures, trying to explain. “Well, you know. You’ve got to have kids.”
Giving another small smile (he did that a lot, James noticed,) Remus shook his head. “No. No kids.”
“Wife?” James prompted, waggling eyebrows suggestively.
“No.”
“Engaged?”
“Not that I know of.”
“In love?”
“Now what kind of question is that?”
“Fine,” James admonished, and crossed his arms. “You’re very boring, do you know that?”
“Yes.”
“Hmm. Well, then, there’s nothing I can do. Moony- what’s Harry been doing?”
Remus’s head shot up. “I beg your pardon,” he said evenly.
“Doing… as in, like, we’re dead. So who did Harry end up living with? I’m probably guessing Sirius, Peter or you… or maybe mum and dad,” James clarified, waiting.
At first, Remus seemed to ponder. Then finally, he said, “I think… I think I shouldn’t tell you that. You’ll figure out on your own, if you’re here long enough.”
James nodded. “Sure.”
“You know, James,” Remus said, putting the paper down on the table, “I’ve almost forgotten what you were like.”
“Oh, no! Forgotten what I was like? How on earth did you live?” James cried, putting hand on forehead in a very Draco Malfoy-ish way.
Remus had a hint of a smile on his face. “It wasn’t that hard, actually. You see-”
At that moment, the door burst open. Remus and James nearly jumped out of their chairs, turning to see who it was. Or rather, who the people were.
Two red-head men walked in, laughing. “Hey, Professor Moony!” called George, smiling widely, “You were right! Madam Pince really DID kick Sirius! You should have seen her face- she was completely paranoid when we asked her the question…”
“I don’t remember Madam Pince kicking Sirius,” said James, frowning slightly.
“Err… That’s because you’re here,” Remus explained, wincing.
“Who’s here?”
“Harry’s here? Hey Harry! Sirius was pretty cool.”
“I’m not Harry,” James replied automatically.
“You’re not Harry?”
“No, he’s Harry,” Remus cut in desperately. “He’s just...” Remus frantically racked his brain for something, anything. “Playing… opposite day…” he finished weakly.
Fred and George exchanged knowing smiles. “I loved when we had opposite day,” Fred sighed, placing a hand over his heart. “We could call McGonagall a hot mama, and then, of course, after she got really pissed, we’d tell her that it’s opposite day. Well, she’d still get mad because opposite of hot isn’t actually a compliment.”
“Best detention I ever got,” George remembered, sighing loudly.
“Oh, yeah,” James said, trying to cover up for his mistake. “It IS opposite day, that’s why I said I wasn’t Harry.”
Remus added some not-so-heartfelt laughter to make it seem more believable. “Ha, ha, ha… Oh, Harry… you’re such a joker.”
Fred frowned deeply. “Hold on a second… if Harry just said he is Harry, then he’s not Harry.”
“Yes, but before, didn’t he say he wasn’t Harry?” Remus desperately said, trying to salvage James’s true identity.
“Really, I’m not Harry,” James said nervously.
“Ah! You said you weren’t, so you are,” George crowed in triumph.
“No, no! I mean, I am Harry! I am! I just forgot…” James cried, realizing what a mess he had made.
“You forgot? Well, then you mean you didn’t forget. You’re hiding something,” Fred accused, pointing a finger at the two tense Marauders.
“We’re not, honestly, Fred, George,” Remus said, attempting to calm the situation down.
“So you are hiding something! We’ve got them now, George,” Fred said, suddenly giving a rather evil impression.
“Fine!” James cried, cracking. “I’m not Harry! I’m James… his father… I came to future. Just stop confusing me!”
Fred and George exchanged looks. Finally, Fred spoke up. “Very good one, Harry. Trying to fool us into thinking you were your dad? As if we’d slip up and forget it was opposite day!”
The two twins then left the room, leaving Remus and James open-mouthed and very, very confused.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sirius Black was getting tired of running. Slowing down, he took a breath at the bench, and sat down obligingly. He must have run… Oh, God… fifty miles? Maybe he was exaggerating.
Lying down, he let his body relax completely. Finally, he could get some rest…
And for a moment, Sirius slipped into a peaceful sleep. Every worried thought escaped into the expansive sky above, out of his head.
The Marauders were lying in the grass, young and happy again. Sirius played with the dirt underneath his feet, while James had a piece of grass in his mouth, lounging on the ground. Peter was resting, and Remus staring at the blue sky above.
It was just the way Sirius wanted everything to be again- just the Marauders and he. In fact, he could almost hear music floating through the air… just like the kind they used to always listen to….
Wait. Sirius snapped his head up. He was hearing music. Had he finally gone insane? Giving an ear, he tried to listen harder. It really sounded like…
Jumping off the bench, Sirius ran toward the music. It was coming from a large building, an Arts Center. Seamlessly transforming into a dog, Sirius raced into the building, ignoring the indignant shouts of some passerby.
He ran to a curtained room off the side- yes, the music was getting louder… Dashing in, he stopped at the sight. Lights were on, blindingly bright, and people were cheering- a concert. For a moment, he could hardly see a thing; the stage was so overwhelmingly brilliant with light.
When he adjusted to the light, he could hardly believe his eyes. At once, he felt something spring into his heart… maybe memories. He sat down in the nearest chair, next to a child who was waving and pointing at him- “Mommy! Mommy! That man was a dog!” and listened to the music. In fact, he started to sing.
And Elton John went on pounding at the piano keys.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Peter scrabbled down the hallway, desperately looking for James and Lily. They couldn’t really be here, could they? If they were, he didn’t want to report back to Voldemort…
Rubbing his whiskers, he took a pause by Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom. He should probably go by the dorm now; it’s likely that’s where they were…
A loud creaking noise startled Peter, and he scurried into the shadow, cowering. A few moments later, his heart race relaxed. Just someone coming out of the bathroom… nothing else…
But as the rat looked up, he saw something that almost made his tiny heart stop. Because what he saw was himself. He decided that Voldemort giving him a job to spy at Hogwarts may have been a bit more interesting than he thought.
Author’s Note: Hooray! The story is finally posted! And Sirius in a dress is up... everyone applaude. I may not update as frequently, as, I have school every day except Saturday and Sunday. Strange, huh...
But one other thing that has stopped me from writing was reading my story over again- in French. Does anyone know how entertaining that is? See, if you go to MuggleNet and click on the French flag at the bottom (or the Mexican flag, or the Italian, whatever) you can get to fan fiction and read them in that language. I have spent lots of time laughing hysterically at what they translate to- For example, they literally translate Narcissa Black’s last name into black, the color, UNCAPITILIZED…
python de Monty is what the Marauders enjoy, (Yes, no capitalization on the python,) and many other tickling things. Unfortunately, my Internet browser is not working at the moment, so I cannot include other amusing excerpts.
Sorry about that Elton John and Sirius moment… I had to give that poor Marauder something to enjoy. Next chapter will be up when written, so the time range can stretch a bit, I imagine. One last question- did you like the quote? And how is the picture of Sirius? Please tell in your reviews. Thanks for taking the time to read this weird sequel… really.
One more thing... I just wrote a story called Eternal Bonds. Time travel with the Marauders, and very good, from what few reviews I've had. Check it out... please?
In Which James Finds Out the Awful Truth by Kelsid
Quote of the Chapter Which Is Completely Relevant to the Story
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Death can really absorb a person. Like most people, I would find it pleasant not to have to go, but you just accept that it's more or less inevitable. “ Graham Chapman
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James walked down the corridor, still a bit confused over his encounter with Fred and George. If he said he wasn’t Harry, then that meant he was. But then if he contradicted himself, would the fact that he said he wasn’t Harry first come into play when he said he was? Or maybe the previous comment just cross-cancelled that, so therefore, he wasn’t Harry. Or maybe…
Not paying any attention to the outside world, James rounded a corner and bumped into a girl with long blonde hair, knocking her down. After gathering his wits, James helped the girl up. “Sorry, I didn’t see you…”
The girl had large, dreamy eyes and a faraway expression permanently upon her face. “Oh,” she began, “that’s all right. I didn’t see you either. Sometimes I wonder whether anyone sees each other.”
James suddenly felt as though he had miraculously appeared in Remus’s classroom again, Fred and George accusing him of not being Harry. “Um…”
“Do we all see each other differently? Look in the mirror, and what you see may not be what I see,” she continued, staring at James. “Maybe it’s the perception of the viewer or just the view of the person themselves.”
“Yeah…”
“You look an awful lot like Harry Potter,” she said dreamily. “But you aren’t him. You’re different.”
“Well that’s good, because I’m not Harry Potter. I’ve got to get to…”
“I’m Luna Lovegood,” she said, completely ignoring the previous comment. Or perhaps she didn’t hear. James was betting on the latter.
“Moon-calves have infiltrated Azkaban,” she said suddenly.
“Right…” James commented, looking around for any route of escape.
“What’s your name?”
Let’s see if she falls for this... James thought. “Sir Winston Churchill, Prime Minister,” he replied.
Her eyes went solemn. “Welcome to Hogwarts, Prime Minister Chruchill,” she said, extending a hand to shake.
James couldn’t believe it. What happened to Hogwarts the way he knew it? “Yeah… I’ve really got to go now…” he said.
“You can walk with me. Did you know there is secret passageway to Durmstrang is behind this wall?” She paused to put a hand on a regular looking wall.
“Um…”
“Yes. I’ve spent some time trying to find a way in, but I haven’t found it yet.” She looked sorrowful at her last statement. “I’ve already tried tapping my wand against a few bricks, and also taking the hairs of Professor Flitwick and arranging them into the shape of a pyramid onto the fifth brick to the north-west, but no luck.”
James wasn’t sure if she were joking or not.
“Hmm… do you think if you could maybe give me your robe, we could cut and sew it into a door, therefore symbolically opening the passage, and maybe really way from Durmstrang to Hogwarts?” Luna turned to face the wall, staring at it thoughtfully as James broke down on the floor and started to wail.
As Hermione, Harry and Ron turned the corner, they were a bit surprised to see Luna leaning against a wall, exerting herself over the effort, and James, curled up against the wall, shaking his head and letting out a random, “I can’t stand the confusion!”
Hermione, giving a look towards Ron, hurried to James’s side and got him standing. “No one warned me that it was going to be so bloody strange in the future,” he muttered, walking away from Luna, who had apparently forgot he was there.
“It’s really not that strange. Luna is a nice girl, once you get used to her,” Hermione assured him, as they walked back to the staircase.
“And how long does it take to get used to her?”
“Uh, well,” said Ron, “she was a wicked commentator at the Quidditch game.”
James frowned at Ron as they continued their way down the hallway.
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Professor Snape sat in his room, head in hands. Why on earth was he sitting with Trelawny at Madam Puddifoots, drinking Butterbeer and eating those disgusting sweets?
Something was indeed wrong. Last thing he remembered was standing over his cauldron, mixing a goat’s bladder and ram’s horn when…
Damn. Why didn’t he remember? Shaking his head, he went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. All he knew was that he and Trelawny were sitting intimately together, and he had been… enjoying it. Then, he snapped out of his stupor and immediately left, leaving the Divination teacher in a dizzy.
He’d been feeling rather warm all night though, which was simply odd, for him. Think, Severus, think! he told himself, desperately trying to remember back.
Then, it hit him.
He was struggling to remember things.
He was feeling warm.
And he had been in love with Trelawny.
All these symptoms added up to… the love potion. How did someone slip a love potion into his water supply? Trelawny? Maybe, but that didn’t quite make sense…
Putting on a black robe, Snape walked up towards the main area of the castle, wanting some fresh air to clear his mind. The grounds would be the perfect place to take a stroll and think…
The night was cold… it was October, after all. October 4, 1996. Snape walked around, nearing the forbidden forest, mind still reeling off possibilities. Hagrid’s hut loomed near to him, but, surprisingly, the lights were all on and the sound of chatter arose from within.
Snape slowly made his way over, and positioned himself near a window, trying to overhear the conversation. The Irish brogue of McGonagall floated overhead, sounding very amused. “I don’t know if the potion has worn off Severus yet, but we’re hoping it won’t. He’s been through such a change, a lovely one. If only our dear Snape would stay that way forever…”
Flitwick, from the other side of the room, interrupted. “Severus is a nice fellow, a bit stiff, but it has been good to see him lighten up a bit. Might I have a bit more sherry, Rubeus?”
Hagrid laughed. “Well, it’s been good ter see Snape brighten up a tad. Mind you, I don’t think he’ll appreciate this here conversation much.”
The teachers laughed, and Snape scowled, crouching down under the window. So this is how he came to have love potion in his drink… Well, Severus Snape was going to get even with them.
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Remus watched from his room as foursome talked about Luna Lovegood as they proceeded across the hallway. How light-hearted James was… how much he didn’t know… Remus bit back the urge to tell him about how he had died. About who had betrayed James and Lily.
It hurt even more, seeing James not know these things. Weren’t they all living a lie? He had to tell him something… he had to… after all, today held special meaning. He had to tell him.
“James!” he called out, the urge too strong. James turned toward him, as well as Ron and Hermione.
“James… I have to tell you something.”
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Ron and Harry exchanged worried looks as Remus called to James, ushering him into his room.
“Do you think…?” Ron began, looking nervous.
“Professor Lupin wouldn’t tell him anything about what’s happened to the Marauders,” said Harry confidently, but felt a twinge of doubtfulness hit him. Surely Professor Lupin wouldn’t tell about how Peter betrayed them… about how…
Hermione shook her head at the two boys. “You two,” she said, sounding much like her bossy self, “Professor Lupin would never tell. I’m shocked. We know he’s a good teacher and would never go against Dumbledore’s orders…”
At that moment, there was a sudden cry from the room. Ron and Harry jumped to the door and pressed their ears against it. They could hear muffled sobs from inside the room, sounding very much like James. Hermione stayed behind, narrowing her eyes at the two boys who jumped to the door.
“I... I can’t… believe…” James said, sounding deeply distressed.
“I know.”
“It’s… no… but… we… they…”
Ron’s eyes widened. Lupin had told! He leaned closer to the door, trying to catch more of the conversation between Lupin and James.
Lupin said something unintelligible, and then James came anew with fresh cries.
“I don’t believe it… when… when did he… he… die?” The last word from James’s mouth came soft, as though he wouldn’t- couldn’t- believe it.
Some more unintelligible words from Lupin (he talked much too soft, Ron thought,) and James let out a cry. “He was so young! He had a whole life ahead of him, Moony! A whole life! Why… why…”
“I know, James, I know.”
“I can’t… this is too… I just… no…”
There were a few moments of silence inside the room, and James finally asked, voice dropped low, “What happened to…”
Ron couldn’t hear who James had said, but Harry mouthed, “He said P.” It dawned on Ron- Peter Pettigrew. They were talking about the rat.
“He’s traveled a bit…” Lupin said, very much skirting the subject, Ron thought. Sure, Peter had gone to Egypt with them and a few other places, but that was stretching a little. “He’s been around the world... he still lives in England.”
James’s voice sounded bitter. “He’s off going to Egypt and… and… India while his… his friend… is… his friend is…” James started to break off, and then finally rushed through the last word. “While his friend is dead!” he finished, and began to cry again.
Lupin muttered something, and James calmed down. Ron and Harry looked miserable. James had taken it hard.
“That’s really sad,” Ron whispered, turning to Harry. Harry nodded his agreement, when a loud shush silenced them.
“Be quiet,” Hermione hissed, leaning next to Ron. “I’m trying to listen!”
There was nothing but silence inside the room. Finally, James whispered, “It’s just so funny how you can make light of that… of death… But he was good person. He really was. He was just too young. I’ll miss him… the world will miss him.”
Ron could almost see Lupin nodding. “Yes,” said Lupin quietly. “Well, come in tomorrow, maybe I’ll have some pictures to show to you… find a video…”
The threesome stepped away from the door as James exited, eyes red. Ron and Harry gave each other an anguished look as James stepped out, trying to compose himself. Hermione reached out and gave James’s shoulder a squeeze.
“I know he was your best friend… I’m sorry, James,” she whispered.
James cocked an eyebrow. “My best friend?” he repeated. “I never knew him.”
“What?” Hermione said the regret dropping away from her voice.
“I never knew Graham Chapman. I mean, he was a brilliant comedian and one of the best Monty Python members but I never knew him… I still can’t believe he died today, on this very day, only 7 years ago… rest in peace, Graham. May the character you played, King Arthur live forever in my heart.” James’s eyes began to cloud up again as he wiped his sleeve under his eye.
“Graham Chapman? He was telling you about what happened to… Monty Python?” Ron cried, realizing exactly what had gone on in the room.
“Yes,” said James, puzzled.
“What about Peter, and how he traveled the world?” Harry said, trying to organize everything in his mind.
“Peter? No, that was Michael Palin. You know, Sir Galahad. Blimey, you all have a weird sense of imagination… Peter,” James snorted, giving a small smile. “Remus was telling me that maybe he can find some pictures of the Pythons now, or this movie they made… I’ve never seen it… Life of Brian. What did you think we were talking about?”
Hermione, Ron and Harry turned to each other, disbelief in their eyes. The day could not possibly get any stranger.
“AND YOU CAN TELL EVERRRRRYBODY… THIS IS YOUR SOOOOOONGGG…” came a loud voice from behind them.
Everyone exchanged a glance, and began to walk rapidly the other way. Indeed, the day had gotten stranger. And they didn’t know exactly how strange things were going to be during the next week…
Author’s Note: Next chapter up! Hope you all liked that one. I had to make a small mention of dear old Graham Chapman, who died today, 16 years ago on this date. (October 4, 1989.) Wow… that’s all I have to say for this author’s note… isn’t that incredible? Usually they’re so long. Anyway, signing off from your authoress,
Kelsid
In Which the Plot Actually Progresses by Kelsid
Quote That May Be Relevant, But Is More Funny Than Anything Else
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Do you realize the responsibility I carry? I'm the only person standing between Richard Nixon and the White House. - John F. Kennedy
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Remus gritted his teeth and managed to filter out the singing. It was hard, but he had accomplished it… but how much longer could he keep doing it?
“Peter,” he whispered, leaning over to his friend. Peter made no response, but Remus plunged on still. “Peter, you’ve got to go across the hall. Please! We’ve got to get away from this.”
Peter scowled. “Why don’t you do it? You’re getting the better deal, I think.”
Remus was taken aback at Peter’s straight forwardness, but realized it was because of the strain they had been struggling with for the past day. “No, you’re getting the better deal,” Remus clarified. “You get to escape from Sirius’s dreadful singing.”
For a moment, Peter pondered this, and then nodded as he opened up the door, took a quick peek, and scuffled out of the door.
The sudden bout of silence hit Peter like a rock. It was almost like the singing of angels, the silence…or at least the partially lower volume of Sirius’s voice. He took a relieved sigh, and walked to the other room. It was dark, the blinds shut and the bit of light coming through made the room hazy.
Carefully he stepped over a strange looking object on the floor (who knows what THAT could have been,) and surveyed the room. Good enough. It wasn’t too cold, nor too noisy, no monsters, and best of all, no one else in the room.
But then again, how was he supposed to know there was?
Still looking at the windows, grinning at the thought that he, Peter Pettigrew, had finally done something right, Peter never knew what hit him.
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Peter cracked open an eye. Why was he here…? Taking another look around, he realized he was in the same room, only sitting down. The chair was hard, and as Peter attempted to reposition himself, it struck him, only then, that he was tied there.
Thin ropes pressed against his hands uncomfortably, and he let out a whimper. Who… what…?
A dark shadow from across the room made its way closer towards Peter. His whimpering was uncontrollable now; he leaned back and shied his face from the attacker…
But the attacker did nothing. Peter trembled all over, muscles tensed and sweat trickled down his forehead as he waited. The attacker then made a strange noise, a high pitched sound that could only be described as disbelief.
“I can’t believe… I… this isn’t…” the attacker muttered, and Peter could see him wringing his hands.
“What?” Peter asked, his voice barely a squeak. The man turned towards him, hands still wringing. He had started to go bald, and he had a rather pointy nose and watery blue eyes.
He rather looks like me, Peter thought, almost sniggering at the idea. He was nearly hysterical at the moment, so the laughter wasn't surprising.
But of course, the idea wasn’t as preposterous as he thought.
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Harry quickly swept down the corridor, Ron close on his heels. They were still shaking their heads over what Lupin had been saying… or what they thought he had been saying.
“I can’t believe we fell for that,” Ron muttered, scuffing his shoe on the ground. Harry agreed, but didn’t say a word, because at that moment, Moaning Myrtle swooped in.
She was still transparent, as usual… still as annoying as usually… hmm. Harry really was getting used to her. “I know a secret,” she whispered, swaying. This was probably the happiest Harry had ever seen her.
“What’s your secret, Myrtle?” he asked obediently, though he really had no interest whatsoever in the so called ‘secret’.
“Well,” she began, still swaying gently, “it’s very important, so you can’t tell anyone.” Ron gave Harry a furtive glance, and Harry shrugged. He would play Myrtle’s game, for a while, anyway.
“Will you tell us the important secret?” he said, expecting the answer no. He knew Myrtle well enough.
“If you give me a nice kiss I might,” said Myrtle, grinning.
An impatient snort came from Ron and Harry felt a hand grab his arm. “Come on, Harry,” Ron muttered, dragging him around the corridor. “This is stupid, we need to get back… where’s Hermione?”
Harry, brow furrowed, looked for his friend, but she was nowhere in sight. The absence of Hermione blocked out Myrtle’s desperate cries- “I’ll tell you anyway, Harry, just come back! Really, it’s very important, you know, it’s about Sirius and…”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Truth?” Green eyes sparkled in the firelight as a slender hand leaned towards the Bernie Botts Every Flavored Beans. “You’ve picked that every single time, Hermione!”
Hermione shrugged, a smile coming to her lips. “I like them,” she protested, before spitting out a mud flavored one. Lily and Ginny exchanged a knowing glance, and the Weasley tossed a Coachroach Cluster at Hermione. “You’re just scared of getting a dare, aren’t you?” Lily teased, watching Hermione blush.
“That is not true,” she said, giggling a bit. She had never known what this was like, to hang around the common room with other girls, doing petty things like Parvati and Lavender. To her surprise, she was enjoying it.
Ginny had gone off to the kitchens to get some treats for the Truth or Dare game (Bernie Botts beans if truth was picked, Chocolate Frogs if dare was chosen. If the girl backed out, Coachroach Cluster was the only choice), while Hermione set out some cushions. So far Ginny had run around the castle screaming “BURMA” at the top of her voice, ("I panicked," she explained) and Lily had managed to get 35 anagrams of the word “Potato." Hermione had done nothing but pick truth, and the girls were itching to force her into dare.
“Fine,” Ginny declared, a grin coming over her face. “But we’re going to ask you a good truth question.” Lily and Ginny exchanged a large smile before Lily ruthlessly asked the question-
“Do you like Ron?”
Hermione colored rapidly and began to mutter something indecipherable, while the other two girls giggled. Finally, Hermione managed to get out, “Forget I said truth… I say dare.”
Lily’s eyes danced as she leaned forward and Ginny managed to hide a sly grin. “All right, Hermione… we want you to…”
Lily whispered the dare in Hermione’s ear, and the girl’s eyes widened. “I can’t do that!” exclaimed Hermione, not believing this was possible.
“Yes, you can! And you will, because the other option is the truth question…” Ginny’s voice trailed off, and Hermione paled.
“Fine,” she muttered, getting up. “But I still get a Chocolate Frog. I like them better anyways.”
And Hermione picked up her candy and stalked off, shoving it defiantly in her mouth. Ginny and Lily didn’t mention that she had chosen a Coachroach Cluster by accident.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sirius left the Concert Hall in a state of bliss, humming “Your Song.” Never in all his life would he have thought…
He walked down the sidewalk, looking at the brick buildings and wooden hotels. This was a small town, no doubt, and everything looked inviting. The hotel had a friendly, warm feel, and for a moment, he considered going inside. He did need a shower, a good meal, and a haircut…
No. He couldn’t do that. Furtively, he glanced around him. A few people were out, but none noticed him. It was worth a shot.
He opened the hotel door nervously, where a woman with long fingers was talking on the phone. She had a homely, plump face but was obviously interested in her own affairs. “I’ll be with you in a minute,” she mouthed, and went back talking. “Really, Audrey, you don't say, I don’t believe it… I know... I know... It's a fair cop to be sure, but I know...
Sirius found a comfy chair on one side of the room and sat down, relief tingling in his feet. He leaned back and closed his eyes, letting peace sweep over him. At last, there was no more running!
At that moment, a blur went past him as a waiter made a wide curve around his chair as not to hit him. Sirius sat, stunned. What was going on? A tall man with a black moustache raced by, shouting angrily. Unfortunately, he did not take so much care in not hitting Sirius, as he went flying when his chair overturned.
The tall man turned back hurriedly. “I’m dreadfully sorry, I promise, what ever you want, you can have, just give me a moment,” he said distractedly, his hair tufted as he went back to chasing the waiter.
Sirius, a bit confused, straightened the chair and sat down again. Whatever he wanted, he could have? That was a generous offer, and he could certainly use it to his advantage. But what would he want…?
He looked over his shoulder. The dining room was filled with people in classy suits and carefully pressed dresses. If there was one way he was not going to be recognized by people, it would be if he were wearing one of those suits…
A light bulb lit over his head. He could walk in the streets normally, without having to move at night! This would be perfect! Now all he needed was for the manager to quit chasing the waiter.
“Sir?” the woman at the desk asked, face inquisitive. “Sir…”
“Oh, sorry,” Sirius muttered, blushing faintly. “I’ll just be staying for a night…” At this he trailed off, realizing he had no money, wizard or Muggle. How could he have been so stupid? But more importantly… where would he stay? He’d so been looking forward to a nice, hot bath…
The woman’s brow suddenly furrowed, hair piled on top of her head swaying slightly. “You know,” she began, “I think I’ve seen you before.”
“Really?” said Sirius, feeling very uncomfortable. “I’ve never been here before, so you must be mistaken.” In the background he could hear the manager screaming at the waiter. After he had that suit, he’d be out of here.
The woman clicked her tongue, and then suddenly, her face lit up. “You must be the new schoolteacher!”
Relief swept over Sirius that she had not recognized him from his Wanted posters. “Yes, yes… hold on, I mean, no!”
The woman appeared to not have heard him as she continued on, excited as ever. “Yes, the poor preschool has been without a teacher for about a month. The teacher, unfortunately, quit and now a kind Frenchman… why, that’s you, I suppose… whose picture was in the paper- that’s how I recognized you!- offered to take it. Thank you so much, Mr. …?”
Sirius was too shocked to say a word. “By Gumby,” he breathed, running his hands through his hair.
“B. Gumbee?” questioned the woman, eyebrows raised.
“No!” he exclaimed.
“Well, Monsieur Gumbee, my husband and I would be most obliged to hold you without fee,” the woman declared, ignoring his last comment.
“But I’m not- wait. For free?”
“Yes, is there a problem with that?” asked the woman pleasantly.
“No, no, not at all,” Sirius said, breaking into a smile. “That’s wonderful. C’est incroyable!”
The woman looked quite delighted with his random piece of French. “I don’t believe we’ve ever had a Frenchman here before!” exclaimed she, delight written over her face. She turned her back to him as she took a key from a peg and handed it to him. “Here’s your hotel key, number 23. My husband and I will be happy to see you, for sure.”
“Happy?” the manager’s voice broke out from the kitchen area. He stormed out, rage seething. “That waiter can’t do anything right, he’s served a three egg omelet with three eggs on top- three real, unshelled, uncooked eggs! The door handle is broken; room 14 has a roach problem, the kitchen is on fire…”
The woman lifted her eyebrows in mild interest. “The kitchen’s on fire, dear?”
“It bloody well is,” the manager snorted, leaning against the counter. Suddenly his eyes widened. “The kitchen’s on bloody fire!” he screamed, it truly hitting him as he raced to the kitchen. A few moments later, his head popped out. “Don’t just stand there, woman! Help me!”
The manager’s wife sighed. “I’ll be with you in a moment, Monsieur Gumbee.”
Sirius grinned. Finally, he wouldn’t be on the run. He could be where he belonged. And tomorrow, he would be teaching a room of preschoolers. What could be better?
“Polly, get the bloody water hose!” screamed the manager.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Author’s Note: I know it’s been a long time since I updated, but now I have. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and now that I am back on writing track, chapters will be up sooner! There’s all the news from me. Surprisingly short, isn’t it? Oh well. If anyone can take a stab at where Sirius is, then tell me in your reviews!
In Which Many Things Happen by Kelsid
Quote for the Chapter (Irrelevant)
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Reg: All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
Attendee: Brought peace?
Reg: Oh, peace - shut up! You know, there is not one of us who would not gladly suffer death to rid this country of the Romans once and for all.
Dissenter: Uh, well, one.
Reg: Oh, yeah, yeah, there's one. But otherwise, we're solid.
-From Life of Brian
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-All the ideas in this chapter were suggested by my good friend, Katherine. So I think everyone should give her a major round of applause, because otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this!-
Peter began to whimper. Everything had begun to press down on him all too much. They’d defied time, they’d thrown themselves into a situation impossible to get of, and now he was kidnapped.
His captor still appeared to be in a mental battle with himself, turning this way and that, ached with decisions. Finally, his captor made way to his chair, his whole face unreadable. The face was not neutral of emotion, but simply that there was too much to observe.
“I… I’m going to try to make you… comfortable,” the kidnapper said uneasily, fumbling with the rope that bound Peter’s wrists.
The boy couldn’t say a word, even if he wanted to. The fear had paralyzed him, and even when the rope had slid away, his arms stayed frozen. The captor had gone back into the darkness and Peter was left to his thoughts. He moved his fingers slowly, fear creeping up every time he moved anything. The kidnapper might see it and Avada Kedvra him.
He wished he were brave like Sirius. He would have jumped out of the chair in a split second and manage to look good at the same time. But Peter was stuck, frozen out of fear.
He tentatively moved his arms, little by little, bringing them slowly back to his lap. Halfway through, with a deep breath, he snatched them close to his chest, hardly daring to look. The captor wasn’t paying attention at all.
At that moment, a strange and irrational feeling swept over Peter. At first, he thought it bravery, but it was actually recklessness. Just do it… just GO FOR IT!
His mind screamed this at him, and he almost left his chair. But no- he mustn’t. Think of the danger…
Do it!
Peter stood up and ran as fast as he could. He was running away, further away than could be imagined, back to the past, back to where he and his friends (were they his friends?) could just enjoy themselves by the lake, where he and Sandra King could-
That awful feeling of falling hit Peter like a bag of bricks. It probably would have had the same effect if a bag of bricks hit him, because he went sprawling across the ground. What happened, what happened, went swirling around his mind until he realized his legs were still bound to the chair, and it was tottering precociously.
He never knew how much chairs hurt.
His kidnapper knew, he knew, Peter was dead, he knew he was, just get it over with, please, please, he didn’t-
But instead the captor was untying his feet and practically pleading, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”
Peter didn’t understand what was going on.
“Here, have something to… to eat…” The captor turned his back to Peter and rummaged through a knapsack, taking out a few things and throwing a few things back.
Peter was more shaken that he was before. He could hardly move his body, even if he tried. Speaking was equivalent to being able to jump off Big Ben and fly. He closed his eyes, sweat beading on his forehead. Maybe if he squeezed his eyes tight enough, he would be back with Sirius and Remus, even if Sirius was still singing.
When he opened his eyes again, a napkin was folded in his lap, obscuring a few items from sight. He shouldn’t open it; it might have automatic sensors that would blast lasers at him if he opened the cloth. But he was so hungry…
Inside were mainly chocolate frogs and pumpkin pasties with a lump of slimy pink meat smeared in the middle.
“Sorry,” his captor squeaked, wringing his hands. “That’s all I have… I… here… I’ll untie your feet too.”
Peter looked down at the strange meal, then back at his captor, who was busy untying the rope at his feet. That pink meat looked like it was squirming.
He took a pinch of the meat and managed to force it down his throat. Cold and rather… pink… he liked it, surprisingly.
The chocolate frogs weren’t bad at all, and neither were the pumpkin pasties.
Peter began to feel more and more energetic as the sugar went through his body. This was actually kind of fun, being strapped to a chair!
Peter once said that Sirius often went hyper after sucking on too many sugar quills. Compared to Peter, Sirius was a sobbing funeral attendee who hadn’t slept for days.
Think about it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Remus didn’t care anymore. Actually, he had stopped caring a few hours ago… or had it been minutes? Elton John wasn’t that bad. If there were going to be a new superhero, it would be Elton-
No. Remus concentrated on where Peter was. He’d been gone for half an hour now, and Remus was getting worried. He might have gotten abducted by McGonagall, if she was still alive of course, or maybe he got lost on his quest…
“Where’s Peter?” The abrupt question shook Remus out of his philosophical mode as he turned his head around. Sirius was standing in the middle of the bathroom, the overflowed toilet water lapping around his ankles.
“You stopped singing.”
“Yes. Do you know how much you guys ask me to do?” Sirius sighed, sitting himself down besides Remus.
Remus stared. “What do you mean?”
Sirius sighed again. “Well, I mean that it gets really tiring singing Elton John all the time. But you guys keep insisting, and I can’t keep it up anymore. It’s extremely tiring on a star’s voice.”
This logic seemed to defy Remus’s mind at the moment, but all he was focused on was Peter’s whereabouts. “Peter’s missing,” he said tiredly.
“Missing? Thou art jesting!” Sirius put on a mock Shakespearean artist face, hand to forehead in distress.
“He is, Sirius. We’ve got to find him. How can we loose three people in the future? It shouldn’t be that hard to stay together,” moaned Remus, covering his face in his hands.
“The course of true love never doth run smooth,” Sirius said, leaning over to pat Remus on the head. His tired eyes met Sirius’s.
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“Shakespeare’s works can parallel anything to anything,” replied Sirius confidently, hands on hips. “That was from A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act I, Lysander to Hermia.”
“The ‘Shakespeare’s works can parallel anything’ or the ‘course of true love never doth run smooth?’”
Sirius splashed Remus with some of the water on the floor, resulting in a cry of outrage from the quieter one. “That was disgusting!”
“My hands are of your color, but I shame to wear a heart so white,” quipped Sirius.
Before Remus could ask what the quote was, Sirius had already obligingly filled in the blanks. “Macbeth, Act II, Scene III, Lady Macbeth, after Macbeth murders King Duncan.”
“That’s very nice, Sirius. But we’re missing three.” Remus stopped in mid-sentence, simply to stress the number. “THREE people. How could we be so irresponsible?”
Remus lifted his woe-ridden head to get Sirius’s attention. “Three people!” Remus stopped, and then sighed at what he didn’t see.
“Four people,” he moaned miserably, and raced out the door to find Sirius.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hermione sneaked down the corridor, not believing that Ginny and Lily had actually gotten her to do this. This was ridiculous! She was out of her mind, she must be. Doing this would give immediate detention, maybe even expulsion.
The dungeon steps never felt so cold. Why, why, why was she doing this? She didn’t have to. Hermione could say that she had done it- a “let’s not and say we did” sort of thing.
The bottom step of the dungeon. She took a deep breath. This was stupid, stupid, stupid. But she couldn’t back down. A possessive hold had come over her, a sort of recklessness. She was going to do this, no matter how much her sensibility told her not to.
She began to rehearse what she would say. “Professor Snape…”
“Yes?”
The cold voice cut her off, and immediately her skin turned clammy.
“Err… I just wanted to say… that Professor McGonagall is a frightful old git and walks like she has a-” This was blurted out before Hermione could think about whether she really wanted to say it. There. Ginny and Lily would be perfectly happy.
And now for the punishment.
She waited for Snape’s response, but instead, nothing happened. She opened one eye hesitantly, anxiously awaiting her sentence.
“Shh!” muttered Snape, leaning in towards her ear. “I agree. Now, how would I go about plotting revenge on her?”
Hermione’s mouth dropped open. She would have rather got the chastising.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Remus,” pronounced Sirius flourishingly. “These days weigh heavy upon my soul. To be, or not to be, that is the question: Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of an outrageous fortune or to take arms against a troubled-”
“Oh, shut up,” Remus muttered, clasping Sirius’s arm. He’d found him down by the Great Hall, quoting Shakespeare to himself. They needed to get down to the brass-tacks: Find Lily and James and get back. Now.
“Look! Little children to play with,” grinned Sirius evilly as a few fifth years passed by. Before Remus could tighten his grip, Sirius had run off, galloping towards the students. Everything was happening too quickly, just stay put..!
Remus cringed as Sirius began his rampage. “But soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east and Juliet is the sun! Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon…” he serenaded, going on one knee to the Hufflepuff girl.
This was too much. Way too much. Remus was ready to step in and apologize; his friend had escaped from a mental institution and that he needed to take him back, thanks-
“Oh no, here comes Looney Lovegood,” the Hufflepuff girl muttered, turning her back in disgust and walking the other way. The other boy shrugged his shoulders as he walked away.
“Parting is such sweet sorrow-” began Sirius, but when Luna Lovegood came into his sight, he could say not another word.
How could he describe her? Her hair was as golden as the sun; her eyes the blue of a crystal pool. If a soul should swim through the pool, they should be lost helplessly at the depth and brilliance of the color.
He walked forward, drawn to her.
“Sirius,” warned Remus, grabbing his robe sleeve. There was a hundred things wrong with this, but at the moment, Remus could only think of one. “Don’t you love Rosa?” he started helplessly.
“No. I have forgot that name, and that name’s woe,” whispered Sirius, creeping hesitantly towards Luna. “O, she doth teach the torches to burn bright!”
The girl- Looney, Remus thought the students had said- quirked an eyebrow. “Who are you?” she said.
“She speaks. O, speak again, bright angel for thou art as glorious to this night, being o’er my head, as is a winged messenger of Heaven,” breathed Sirius, reciting through Romeo and Juliet subconsciously. How he had read this play over and over again at his cousin’s house, for good pick-up lines… but instead finding them used for true love.
“This is true love,” he whispered, knowing it was true.
“You need to get outside, Sirius. You’ve been cooped up too long. Is Moaning Myrtle getting to your head? Let’s GO.”
Looney held her hand out to Sirius. “You are a poet. A true poet,” she murmured, looking very solemn.
“If I profane,” Sirius began, looking hesitantly at his hand, trembling with anxiety to reach hers, “with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this-”
Remus felt like screaming through his teeth. “Stop it, Sirius,” he muttered angrily. “You’ve had your fun, now let’s leave!”
“No.”
Looney was placing her hands upon a wall, pushing a few bricks then moving a step to the right.
“What are you doing?” Sirius asked, eyes never leaving Luna’s.
She glanced up at him, face as serious as ever. “I am trying to find a passageway to Durmstrang. Another boy came by asking me that- dark hair, glasses… Usually, no one talks to me.”
Sirius’s face crumpled into concern. “That’s terrible!” he cried.
For a few moments, Remus disregarded the description of the boy passing by Luna. Then, he saw the boy clearly. “James…”
He turned on Luna. “Where did the boy go? Which way?” he asked frantically, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. They could go home, they would find James; they would find Peter...
“Can I help you in any way?” Sirius asked sincerely. “For I would do anything for you, anything for this angel of light that spreads her holiness upon the poor vagabond that stumbles upon this shrine-”
“Yes. I would need a few hairs of Professor Flitwick to arrange into a pyramid on the north-west brick to open this passage- to test this theory. If it doesn’t work, I’ll be most awfully sorry.” Her eyes looked large and sad at the last statement, and Sirius felt a sudden surge of chivalry. He could prove himself worthy.
“Of course,” he replied. “Farewell, farewell, one kiss and I’ll descend.” Sirius looked hopeful at his last statement, and Looney obligingly leaned down and gave him soft peck on the forehead.
“Thank you very much,” she said, giving a small smile. “I would have done it myself, but I’m guarding the other wall so that the Hippogriffs won’t escape. What is your name?”
Remus knew what Sirius was going to say.
“Romeo,” he whispered, as if the name Sirius Black may offend her, before running off in search of the item for his love.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tie adjusted, shoe tied, hair combed… yes, Sirius was ready for this. He tried giving the tie one more twist, and looked down at the suit that was all too long for him. The manager gave him the suit, and then began to mutter about how guests were awful pushy these days. Sirius decided to ignore him. The tie was awfully short too…
He left the hotel jauntily, almost skipping down the road. This was the life. He could just teach this one day to make Mrs. Hotel Desk Lady believe him. Then he’d run off towards home. To Harry.
A small white painted building stood ahead of him, quite unimposing. This must be it, especially with the sign that said, “PRESCHOOL” in large letters.
He opened the door quietly, and found a few parents in the room holding their little Muggle children. One of the girls there looked vaguely familiar, so he gave her a wink. She was a skinny thing, legs like sticks that were constantly swinging. And she was licking an ice cream cone.
Her eyes widened at the sight of him. “It’s the evil murderer Sirius Black!” she shouted, giggling at the memory.
Damn. That same girl on the bench the day the Muggles spotted him. And still licking an ice cream cone. Of course, it wasn’t the same one… or was it?
He stood, frozen. He could feel the parents’ stares on him. Should he run? He’d been doing it long enough, and now was the perfect time to start up again-
The mother of the ice cream girl blushed madly and stood up, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I’m awfully sorry, she thinks she sees Sirius Black everywhere since they spotted him in the park a few weeks ago.” The mother blushed an even deeper red. “And to think of accusing a perfectly respectable man as you, Monsieur Gumbee…” She shook her head. “I hope she didn’t hurt you in any way…”
Sirius forced himself to laugh uproariously. “Of course not,” he said, patting the ice cream girl on the head. “I don’t mind at all! I see Stalin all the time, but I stopped accusing a long while back."
There were a few laughs at this and he loosened up. Ice cream girl wouldn’t land him in Azkaban!
Momentary relief swept over him before another wave of anxiety crept behind him. Why were all the parents here anyway? Wasn’t he just supposed to take the kids and let them color a picture or something?
“So… let’s begin with class!” he said, giving a wide smile. None of the Muggles shared in this except for ice cream girl.
“Are you going to give a talk about what the year’s going to be like?” offered a mother hesitantly.
“Uh…” Sirius’s mind blanked. What was this? “No.”
The adults exchanged glances before standing up and leaving. Good, good, good. Now he could be left alone with the brats and get this over with. It wasn’t until everyone had left that he realized the children had gone along with the parents.
Good.
No, now looking around, he saw two children had stayed. One was ice cream girl, and the other was a scared looking boy. This would be okay. This would be fine. Think about Harry. Think about Harry and how he will be so happy to see you.
“Okay,” Sirius began, holding up a few crayons and a roll of toilet paper. “Who wants to color?”
Author’s Note: If I could apologize over and over and over until a dozen pages were full and MuggleNet would let me go on that long for this chapter taking so long, I would. But I have a little bit of time and am quite proud of myself that I actually finished this. Late last night, I realized I should get this up because people were waiting and I had some ideas that were going to waste in my head!
The next chapter will be up in a week or two, I’m hoping, so be on the lookout. (No more month waits, I’m hoping again. Because you never know, my computer could burn up or I might conk my head and get amnesia so I never remember writing this story.)
Thank you for reading this story and have a lovely day (or night, depending when you’re reading this.)
In Which the Progress Made in the Last Chapter Backtracks by Kelsid
I always knew I was a star. And now, the rest of the world seems to agree with me.
-Freddie Mercury
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“Now class, please repeat after me- Wingardum Leviosa.” Professor Flitwick awaited the chorus in unison, but it appeared everyone was too tired to do anything. First class of the day was always a hardship. “Let’s try again, shall we?” he prompted, positioning himself on the stack of books that allowed him to look over his desk. Trying to get the class to respond would take a while. “Wingardum levio-”
The door flung open at that second and he heard scurrying feet. Another student overslept, he imagined. “Take a seat, please, take a seat. I won’t mark you late today, I know it’s hard to get up and this is your first year at Hogwarts-”
All he could see was a mass of black hair, and he couldn’t recall any first years like that. “Mr… erm…” He desperately tried to peer around the accumulating paperwork on his desk.
Luckily enough, the student was coming around the desk to be seen. Good, what a jolly chap! “Thank you very much, Mr.…”
A boy with long dark hair stood beside him, bangs sweeping across his eyes. He looked quite a bit older than the first years, maybe a seventh year or sixth. The face did seem vaguely familiar… Oh! For a moment, Flitwick had to put a hand on his desk to steady himself. The lad looked uncannily like Sirius Black, when he was in school… You really are going mad, old fruit, he thought to himself. No, looking closer, it clearly wasn’t Black. Black never looked that tired, and this boy seemed exhausted. Of course it wasn’t. Of course.
Suddenly, Flitwick felt an odd feeling at the top of his scalp. “Hey! Stop that! Stop that right now!” he yelled, but it was too late. The student who looked like Sirius Black had already plucked out several of his hairs and had run away.
The students just stared blankly as the boy raced out, then collapsed into a fit of laughter. “He looks like that boy in the video that got shown in Great Hall a few days ago!” exclaimed a blonde haired girl, looking extremely satisfied with herself. No one paid any attention.
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For my darling Looney, for my darling Looney… thought Sirius over and over as he rushed through the halls, carrying the hairs with utmost care. If he could only get this to his beloved Looney before falling asleep…
Too late. He slowed down, feeling a wave of fatigue wash over him. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if he were back in his own time, back with James and Remus and Peter, just sleeping and silently laughing as James hit him repeatedly with a pillow, trying to get him to wake…?
A tall figure appeared at the end of the corridor. McGonagall, ready to punish him for painting the portrait of Salazar Slytherin pink… He didn’t deserve it, everyone hates Slytherin, she probably laughs about it at night, don’t you think?
“Hi Professor McGonagall… lovely day, isn’t it?” Sirius asked, giving a grin while his eyes slid slightly cross and his eyes had a ridiculously hard time keeping open. But although he did stay up all night to get his lovely Looney’s want, it was completely worth it. He didn’t even mind running into McGonagall. Everything seemed okey-dokey to him…
Professor McGonagall looked extremely shocked and went backwards, face white. Wow, she was acting funny. “Aren’t you going to punish me or something? I knew you were going to find out about that Slytherin thing someday…”
She still didn’t say anything, but just stayed frozen as if she’d seen a ghost. “All right then, I’m going to get down to Potions now…” His words were becoming slightly slurred as his head began to droop. His mouth didn’t seem to want to move… just to relax, and rest and sleep… Without noticing, he went a little bit too far to keep his balance and fell onto Professor McGonagall, who caught him deftly, if not a bit panicked.
“Sirius Black!” she stammered loudly, his name practically ricocheting off the walls. She went on, saying more, lowering it down to a whisper, “Something’s wrong, blah, blah, alive, blah, miracle, blah, blah, amazing, help, blah, blah, blah…” As he felt himself start falling asleep, going limp in her arms, she positively screeched his name. “SIRIUS BLACK!!!”
This appeared to be the signal he needed to perk up. Oh God, he was caught. Where was he? And… in McGonagall’s arms? Thinking it over clearly was not an option- pure instinct was the best thing to rely on here. Run away.
Breezing through the corridors, just running to save his skin, Sirius ran past rooms and passages, trying to think as he flew. Remus… Remus said… not to be seen by anyone. They were in the future… and he wasn’t supposed to be seen by anyone! New panic settled in. Great, now he was going to cause something weird to happen and everyone will go ballistic and then the Marauders and he will have to go back and stop his past self from running into McGonagall…
“Sirius?” A hand grasped his arm, and Sirius spun around to see the puzzled face of James.
“Oh hey, James!” Sirius stopped abruptly, watching as James’s face changed from confusion to joy. “I haven’t seen you in so long! It’s been, like…”
“A day?” James suggested, but his smile was so large, his sarcasm simply fell flat.
“It’s been so weird these past… hey!” His ‘hey’s’ changed from friendly to shock. “We... we need you! Remus is looking for you! Come on, we’ve got to-” Sirius’s eyes drifted the end of the corridor, where McGonagall’s thin form was standing. Now she was chasing him? It’s not my fault I ran into McGonagall, she’s after me, Sirius swore…
James looked extremely concerned. “Sirius! Remus is here?”
“Sorry, but I really must dash,” said Sirius, giving a bright grin. Wow, he had so much energy! “Find Remus, he’s been looking for you everywhere, I swear he’s going slightly mad; he’s under so much pressure…”
“Wait!” James shouted, running towards Sirius, arm outstretched. But it was too late; Sirius was gone. Speechless, James just had to lean against the wall and rake his hand through his hair. Remus was here? Where?
Out of the corridor, Sirius’s loud voice came trailing, “Tell Looney I love her…!” James didn’t want to know.
McGonagall finally reached the end of the hallway, giving James a piercing stare. “Did you convince him to run out the door?” Her voice was urgent, and she seemed upset.
James lifted an eyebrow, copying one of Remus’s fine traits. “I would have done completely the opposite, if he would have stayed a little longer and gave me a word in edgewise…”
Sighing, McGonagall placed a hand on James’s shoulder. “I know, and I apologize. I just wonder what on earth came over him. I didn’t mean him any harm…”
Looking up, James saw McGonagall’s face soften slightly. A wave of feeling for his professor swept over him as he smiled knowingly. “Don’t take it personally, Sirius’s main theory is run away,” James joked.
Copying James’s copying Remus’s, McGonagall lifted her eyebrow skeptically. “Yeah, that was a pretty stupid excuse… But Sirius always was a little strange.”
Another eyebrow lift.
“Fine. I will admit, something was up,” James acknowledged, scuffling his shoe on the floor.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Bloody television. I don’t want to see this fool Ponty Mython stuff. I mean, who on earth are they fooling? Is this supposed to be adult television? They’re climbing up a road like a mountain for Lord Archibald’s sake…”
“Yes dear.” Petunia made her way from the window, where she’d been peering into the neighbor’s garbage, and turned off the television for Vernon. He snorted intent on pattern of the rug. This usually meant in a few seconds he was going to say something.
Waiting patiently, Petunia stood, making small noises once in a while to remind Vernon that she remained, waiting for him to speak. Finally, he spoke, a bit hurriedly.
“Petunia, dear, you know my sister Marge…”
“Died?”
Vernon’s head shot up. “How did you know?”
Giving him a small, icy smile, she replied, “Dear, you should put more faith in my eavesdropping skills.” She moved to the table and quickly brushed the morning paper off the table into the wastepaper basket. What a shame it was, as the front page bursted with exciting news- ‘Hunters Mistake Woman Walking Dog for Lethal Bull- “The Snorting Sounds Sounded So Realistic,” Sobs One.’
Vernon moved uncomfortably in his seat, thinking for a moment. “But… there’s something else…”
She froze for a moment, smug pride fading quickly. “What?”
“Well…” Pausing for a moment, Vernon gave a deep breath. “Marge had something written in her will.” His eyes slid over to Petunia, who looked curious, and not upset. Maybe this would come out okay. “She wants Harry to be there- at her funeral. So he can…” He muttered something inaudible.
“Dear?”
Clearing his throat, Vernon mumbled, “Ipprillavefun.”
“What?”
“She wants him to be there…so that Ripper can chase him. You know how much he loved chasing Harry up that tree years back. She said he’s never had as much fun in his life, except when he found a small defenseless bird on the lawn of Margret Thatcher. She also said that Harry should have some discipline anyway.”
There. He’d gotten it out. Now all he had to wait for was Petunia’s response. She’d been quite protective over Harry since last summer when Dudley almost died from the dementerr thing.
She looked a bit perturbed, but also appeared to be thinking. He could almost see her mind at work.
“How are we going to get him out of… that school?” she asked finally, pausing uncomfortably after ‘of’.
Vernon didn’t know, and he didn’t really care. Just as long as darling Marge got her last wish granted. “Turn back on the telly, Petunia, it helps me think.”
“Of course, dear.”
Settling back, Vernon watched as a flying car with a mustached man went around a city from an old movie, singing a catchy song about radios. How this was going to solve the problem with Harry, he didn’t know. But for now he was going to let Petunia do the thinking.
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Author’s Note: Shall I apologize again for being late? Or should I just give up now? I’m in three plays at the moment, about 3 practices a week for one, 2 practices for another, and just one for the other. I also have Newspaper, and, shockingly, I have homework too! So there’s my lame excuse. Next chapter will be written when my brain comes up with some ideas and when I have the time to write them down. Or just when I have the time to stare blankly at the computer and see if I can think of any silly ideas to put into the story. Hope you liked the chapter, because although I thought it was pretty short and pointless and not very amusing, you might have a different opinion, lol.
James and the Giant Squid by Kelsid
Author's Notes:
Only four words, my readers- It's been too long.
Okay. I lied. I also want to credit the Chapter Title to my friend Jessie S. Cookies for her!!
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There is only one thing worse in life than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
-Oscar Wilde
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Moony
Well. This was certainly interesting. Remus leaned against the bathroom sink, trying to think of something. Sirius had run away, and Peter was mysteriously missing. He could either try to find them, or do nothing. His first instinct was to go with finding them… but then again, it was so blissfully quiet…
He relaxed a bit more, closing his eyes. No, this wasn’t going to work. His conscience was gnawing at him, and besides, Peter and Sirius were his friends no matter how annoying they were.
Remus went to the door, ready to ease himself out when Moaning Myrtle appeared from a toilet. Great.
"You’re leaving me?” Her bottom lip quivered, as though she were seriously hurt.
He didn’t want to get into this. “Look, Myrtle, I’m really sorry. But I’ve got to find Sirius and Peter.”
The ghost slid up closer to him, staring at him. “Why find them… when you could be with me?” she asked, slipping a ghostly hand through his shoulder.
“Um…”
“You don’t love me!” she choked. “I was in love with Harry, but he never knew! He taunted me too! But you never did… you were always so nice…” Immediately, she dove back into her toilet, leaving Remus alone once again. Time for his great escape… he’d always wanted to do this, and now really seemed the perfect opportunity…
Leaning against the wall, he looked left and right. Seeing no one, he dived to the floor, rolling around a few times before popping back up, shifting his eyes this way and that. Sneaking carefully to the door, he slammed himself against the wall one more time to avoid being seen by spies. Finally, in one swift movement, Remus threw open the door and dashed outside.
Remus Lupin, agent 008. Oh yes, he liked it. Now that his moment of fun was over, he had to get back to business. Find Sirius and Peter… and James and Lily, and then they could go home. Back home to where his mother baked magical cookies and cakes and pastries and…
He hit his head with his hand. That was probably the weirdest thought he’d ever had in his life. Gently, he worked his way through the hallways, running into no one. Careful… careful…
Suddenly, a round faced boy appeared out of nowhere. Remus spun around, looking for a place to hide, but there was none. Just wonderful.
The boy looked a bit confused, once even scratching his scalp. Finally, he turned around and looked at Remus, much to his horror. Remus had begun to slink away, but it was too late now.
“Uh…” the boy still looked confused. Maybe it wouldn’t be so incomprehensible to run away. “Do you know where the bathroom is? Sorry… but I sort of forgot…” He looked extremely hesitant, and Remus couldn’t help but point in the right direction.
“Thanks,” the boy replied, giving a relived smile and left, sort of shuffling off. Remus started off again, but was stopped short when the boy said, a little bit unsure, “You know, I haven’t seen you around. Are you new?”
“Um…”
“You look really familiar.”
“I think you’re mistaken…” Suddenly, a thought hit Remus. Maybe this was his son! It wouldn’t be impossible… how else would he know who Remus was? Maybe he was famous in the future. But either way, the thought of offspring made Remus wince a little whenever he looked at the boy.
It looked as though a light bulb went off above the boy’s head as his face lit up. “You were on that video!” he cried, looking excited. Then his face darkened a bit as he added, “You turned my dad into a duck…”
“Uh… Oh! You mean Frank! You’re Frank’s son?” He looked at the boy’s face, and noticed a resemblance. “I’m quite sorry about that, I never meant to…”
“Wait.” The boy’s face screwed up as he thought. “If you turned my dad into a duck, that must have been about twenty years ago or so. But you look the same…”
This was getting a little too close for comfort. Remus felt the inside of his pocket- and what a stroke of luck. Just what he wanted was tucked inside. “You know, I’m really sorry about this, but I’ve really, really got to find my friends, and I can’t have you find out who I really am…”
The last thing the boy saw must have been a cylinder like object coming towards his face with the words “Moony’s Unperfected Prank” written on the side.
As Remus ran away, Neville was rolling around the floor as an armadillo. Like father… like son.
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Sirius Black
Sirius Black was still at the preschool, and the children had gone wild. Completely and utterly wild. The ice cream girl first scribbled all over her piece of toilet paper and then promptly threw it away, demanding real paper. After that, she began to draw on a picture of some strange cartoon creature that resembled an aardvark and wore glasses and a yellow sweater. With her additions, he had sported a brand new curly moustache and devil horns. Actually, it quite improved on the drawing…
Sirius leaned back to examine it more and added some long eyelashes, long curly hair and lipstick. This was looking pretty good. He was about to add on some fairy wings and a tutu when the little boy started to make trouble.
The trouble that was occuring was a tremendous sort of trouble. If Sirius could define the word trouble, he would have given the child’s name. In order to explain this properly, you are going to have to locate your lips. Just above, there should be a little indentation. Do you feel that? Good. That was where the little boy was placing marbles and miraculously shooting them at the windows, and one had already shattered. Sirius didn’t know how he was doing this, but he wouldn’t stop to ponder the logic.
“Stop!” he shouted and ran to the kid, who was having immense fun, by the way. “Stop… shooting marbles from that little… indented thingy…”
The child, eyes looking droopy and sad, gazed up at Sirius, letting the marble fall from his lip.
Sirius gave him a long look, and then just shook his head. “You know, that’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen.”
“I only made it up because, when our old teacher was here, we were naming our body parts and what we do with them,” he said, swinging his legs unhurriedly, “and so I wondered what that little thing above your lip did. Now I know.”
“Normal people don’t do that,” Sirius protested, sitting next to the child. As to demonstrate, Sirius put a marble on his lip and tried to shoot it towards a wall. It fell flat and lamely bounced down the floor.
Ever so slowly, the kid turned to Sirius and shook his head, even dropping it lower a bit as if very ashamed. “You have to curl your lip, and then push it,” he explained, then verified.
As Sirius looked on, the premise of the idea seemed more and more entertaining and appealing. “Give me the blue one,” he commanded, and gave it a shot. Although it managed to get a few inches away, the marble certainly went further than before.
The child looked at Sirius in admiration. “That’s very good for someone just learning!” he proclaimed, as though the expert. “Now try it again.”
And Sirius did.
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Lily and James
“Quiet.”
“But…”
“No buts!”
“But I…”
“What did I say before?”
“Not to say but.”
“You said it!”
“But?”
“Yes!”
“Sorry. I won’t say ‘but’ again.”
“Kind of ruined your promise there, didn’t you?”
“Wait, but…”
James just gave up, turning around. Lily shrugged her shoulders and gave a frustrated sigh, leaning against a tree by the lake. As they had officially been deemed ‘unable’ to go to class with Ron, Hermione and the rest of the crew, they spent their time walking around the castle. After James had an encounter with Sirius, they decided to stay towards the lake. Of course, James loved it, except for the fact he couldn’t frighten Malfoy out of his wits, but Lily didn’t seem too enthusiastic about the idea.
Light bounced off the water as clouds began to gather in the horizon, gently turning a deep purple. The most beautiful time of day, Lily thought.
“You know,” she began, looking at the glassy waters, “we could have still gone to class if you hadn’t ruined it by telling McGonagall all about how you and Malfoy got into a fight.”
Holding back a laugh, James managed to only snort. “It wasn’t a fight. I was quoting to him. Quoting! How bad could that be? If I just went up to you and said ‘You are like a big jam doughnut with cream on top’ that wouldn’t be called getting in a fight, would it?”
Lily stared at him. “And why am I like a jam doughnut?”
Sliding into character, James gave a grin and lowered an imaginary top hat. “Your arrival fills us with delight and your departure only makes us hungry for more.”
She gave a cynical laugh. “You didn’t make that up yourself.”
“Well, the statement you made wasn’t completely original, now was it?”
Lily was silent as she gazed at the waters of the lake, watching as a fish of some sort rippled the water. Something was niggling at the back of her mind… something she desperately wanted to know…
“James?”
He looked up, already having gone off to his own little world. “Yes?”
“James… when are we going to go home?”
For a moment, she thought he might not answer. Finally, he gave a sigh. “You know what? I don’t know. Remus is trying to help us, and it won’t take too long, because you know how smart he is. But then again, he could never solve the mystery of who put the flobberworm mucus into the cauldron next to ours in Potions…” James went off into thought again, watching as the ripples in the water grew in frequency.
“I just want to go home, James,” Lily said suddenly, interrupting his dreams. The intensity of her tone startled him. “Not to say it’s not interesting or fun here. But I miss home… I miss my mother and father, and my friends…”
“Remus is here,” James pointed out, slipping towards the water to put his toes in.
“Yes, but he’s not Remus! He’s an older version… I mean, they’re barely the same person. I don’t know…”
James seemed intent on making her see his way. “We’ve got Harry, haven’t we?”
Giving a sigh, Lily leaned back. “Funny you should mention Harry… I was just thinking about him. He’s a wonderful person… but… it’s a little strange.”
James looked shocked. “How?”
“Well… I mean, apparently, in the future, we’ve had a child together and we named him Harry and now he’s all grown up and… it’s sort of strange to be meeting him when we’re 16. I know I’d be proud of him, if I were older and actually remember being his parent. But I really don’t know who he is.”
Once again, James went silent, pondering over her words. Finally, he said, “There’s only one thing I find a little odd about this whole future thing. Which one of us decided on the name Harry? I hate that name.”
Lily looked quite offended. “I think it’s lovely,” she proclaimed, jutting her chin out.
“Well, it shows who won the ‘name the baby’ contest,” snorted James, dipping his entire leg in the water.
“And what would you have named him, may I ask?” Lily gave a smile as she could almost predict the answer.
“Well… James. If James wasn’t appropriate, then maybe Horatio. But I do love the name Barnaby. Barnaby Potter. Isn’t that beautiful?”
Shaking her head, Lily stifled a laugh. “Barnaby.”
“Yes, Barnaby!” James looked up in surprise. “Is there something funny about that? Barnaby. All the greatest people on earth were named Barnaby. Barnaby Vir created the magic wand you know. And Barnaby the Conqueror took over England and made it the civilized place we know today. Of course, who can forgot Barnaby Lincoln-”
At that moment, the ripples that had been breaking the water violently suddenly stopped as a pink tentacle shot out of the water, grabbing James around the ankle.
Lily didn’t even realize she was screaming, but apparently, she was, as the high pitched sound met her ears. “James! James, oh my God!”
On James’s face was simply shock and a bit of confusion as the tentacle tried to take him under, pulsating as it tugged at his leg. “What the f…” James began, but another wrench had him clinging to the long spears on grass poking from the ground.
Getting down on her stomach, Lily held out her hands, fear written all around her eyes. “Grab my hands!” Trying to oblige, James let one fist loose hold of the grass and held it out to Lily, which she quickly took. The only problem was the tugging was too getting too strong, and her hand slipped from his within a few seconds.
Panicked, Lily searched around, trying to find someone, anyone…
Two men had appeared from the castle doors, silhouettes painted against the dying light. They seemed to be talking to each other, and it was quite obvious they were good friends.
“Help!” Lily screamed, running over towards them. “Help me! Help us!”
James, finding no better options, dug his fingers into the soft dirt, hoping he wouldn’t slide into the lake with the Giant Squid.
The men, taking no time to even think this exclamation over, ran towards Lily, shaking with relief. She began to explain to them, tell them what happened, when she realized James was having quite a hard time staying on land.
“Please, just help…”
The two men gave affirmative nods towards each other, and then each other a leg and pulled as hard as they could.
“Couldn’t you pull a little softer?” screeched James as the men, yanking with all their strength, finally released James from the tentacle’s grasp.
With a shuddering gasp, Lily flung herself onto one of the men, crying with relief, “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!” James looked rather cross as he sat himself up.
“It wasn’t that bad,” he muttered, brushing dirt off of his robe, forgetting he’d screamed as loud as he had. The two men gave quiet smirks, but the moment they actually stopped and gazed at James, their mouths dropped open.
“Harry?”
James looked up at the two men. “Oh no…”
Sure enough, Fred and George were staring back at him. “Are you all right?” George asked, running over to him and checking for any bruises.
“Um, yeah, I’m just fine…”
Fred, however, had taken in interest in Lily, nudging James slyly. “So, Harry, you’ve finally got a girlfriend…”
Lily bristled angrily, forgetting exactly who they thought James was. “Excuse me?”
Fred put up his hands in mock offense. “I’m sorry, but when I see you screaming over poor Harry, nearly sobbing with relief when he’s out-”
“We’re just friends, all right?”
Fred and George gave each other a knowing glance, a smug look on their faces.
Finding this a rather awkward situation, James began to scratch the back of his head when he noticed seaweed tangled throughout his hair. Just great. He started to pull the slimy weeds from his hair when George rushed over.
“This should be wicked,” he muttered, with a gleam in his eye. “C’mon, Fred!”
In a moment, James had been changed from a wizard to a Barbie doll. Fred and George grabbed and plucked at his head, and in an instant, all the seaweed was gone. As was a fair amount of his hair.
“Ouch,” whined James, putting his hand on the back of his head, and brushed his hair off his forehead to see clearly the damage that lay before him. “What was that for?”
But Fred and George were not laughing like they had been before. This time they were staring straight at his forehead.
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Padfoot
Sirius ran out of the castle, feeling rather freed. The fresh air felt good on his face, and for a moment, he felt like he needed to do something. Here he was, doing absolutely nothing! He’d have to wait a while for McGonagall to stop looking for him.
For some reason, he was feeling a bit disoriented. He wanted to just run on and on for hours one minute, and the next, he was so tired he could barely stand. But now, he wanted to run.
So that’s what he did for a while, just wasting the illusion of energy his body had conjured. Yet he kept going, spurred on by childish whim to find a magical land of some sort, or something. His mind wasn’t working rationally anymore; he just jogged mindlessly, trying to find anything.
Gradually, he noticed he was running alongside a pavement of some kind, winding in a straight line for what looked like forever. He made notice of it then went running without a second thought.
And there it was!
In the distance, it appeared, in the middle of nowhere, like a castle rising out of the sea. Or at least that’s some metaphor Sirius read in a book somewhere. And all he could think about was just that.
Sirius began to sprint faster and faster, eyes always connected with the place. Pushing his body to the limit, sweat started to pour down his face, his legs pumping with a ferocity man had never seen before. Muscles ached, and for a moment, Sirius thought his lungs would explode. But then, he was there.
The building looked fairly new, with a glass door at the front. A small bell was perched above the frame, for reasons unknown to Sirius. The pavement had widened out, making a big square of… pavement. The whole place looked very nice, and a few of those weird tinny rolling machines that Sirius had seen at Peter’s house and on Monty Python were situated on the pavement.
As Sirius looked around, he was struck by an odd thought.
What now?
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Author's Notes:
I'm sorry. I'm deeply, deeply sorry that I haven't updated for over a year. Life got in the way and I stopped writing. But after Deathly Hallows, I caught the Potter bug again. For those you who still remember this story- I hope you enjoy it and I won't ever wait that long again.
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Oh my God. Oh my God. He’d just turned Frank Longbottom’s son into an armadillo and in the future, no less. When they found the boy rolling around the floor, Remus was going to be in so much trouble. Dammit, dammit, dammit…
He knew the rules of time travel, and ‘Don’t Do Anything to Get Noticed’ is number one. So what did he do? He broke it. He broke the goddamn rule. A whole flurry of unknown words stormed into his vocabulary, and personally, Remus didn’t want to know what they meant. Cussing like a sailor, he was. Remus, the prefect. Remus, the Marauder who didn’t really, truly, get into trouble. Look what the future had made him.
Okay. He’d already broken one rule; so he supposed he could break just another one. As much as Remus hated to admit it, he was at a dead end. All of his friends had disappeared, and for now, he was stuck. He hadn’t a clue of where they were. And he needed help.
Teachers were always a good place to start. Who would help him the most? Okay. Not Potions. Slughorn would likely invite Remus to tea and then discuss his ‘little problem’ with a whole bunch of students from the future- that is, if Slughorn was still alive, anyway. The Divination teacher, Professor Cassiopeia, was a bit spacey, and if possible, the Arthimancy teacher even more so. Besides, both of them were fairly old. Remus needed to think of a new teacher, one that would still have a chance of staying at Hogwarts for a decade of so…
Then it hit him. His Defense teacher! Why hadn’t he thought of her before? She was young, friendly, intelligent, funny and very, very attractive… Okay. Don’t think about Professor Decca. But she was the perfect choice, even despite the whole “Defense Position Is Cursed” thing. Remus even had to admit it- not just because he had a rather large infatuation with her, but because she would know exactly what to do.
He ran up and down the stairs, getting confused what with all the portraits having changed positions since the 70’s, until he found the Defense door, first leaning into the door, listening to see if a class was in session. He heard nothing. Okay. Don’t hesitate. Just go in, and explain to an older Professor Decca what exactly had gone on-
But when he stepped in, he was rather shocked to see a man sitting at Professor Decca’s seat, unhurriedly grading papers. Okay. So Professor Decca must have left… Back out slowly, Remus… you don’t need to alert this fellow you’re here…
Of course, stealth had never been Remus’ finest suit. So when he attempted the silent back-off maneuver, he tripped over his own feet, lying in a heap on the ground. Even this could be done without an extreme amount of sound, but Remus, being Remus, shrieked with surprise as he contacted the hard, stone floor. If he were ever going to attempt to become an Auror, he was definitely going to need to practice.
Groaning slightly, he sat up whilst gently massaging his head. It really had been quite a bad fall, no matter how comical it looked. No one had been there to see it anyway, so he shouldn’t be that upset-
Wait. Of course there had been someone there! A sudden jolt of panic hit Remus, and he jumped up, stumbling as he hurriedly ran for the door. He’d been seen by someone he didn’t even know. He’d been seen! Professor Decca was supposed to be there!
He could feel the man’s gaze on his back. This was it. He was going to end up killing himself in the future, or something. He’d been seen. It didn’t matter by whom, but this man was going to do something that would affect this and then that would affect that, and soon, the whole world had changed. He’d just destroyed the whole universe. Remus Lupin, the werewolf boy, the do-gooder, the coward, the nobody was going to end up causing the whole world to collapse on itself.
“Wait… stop! Stay there!” he heard the man shout behind him. It wasn’t as if Remus had a choice. He was having a hell of a time trying to open the door. Resignedly, he turned around to face the inquiring Professor.
The man’s face looked rather bleak and weary, although at the moment, it also looked severely distressed. The rest of his appearance looked just as dismal. His robes were practically in tatters, and his hair was already quite grey, although he seemed relatively young. The very first thing Remus thought was, How did he get this job? It looks like he’d flop over at any second.
“Who are you?” The man’s voice was hoarse and quiet, and seemed more questioning than accusatory.
Remus stayed silent. He was getting bad vibes from the mystery Professor and a nagging feeling that he’d known him in the past.
“Who are you?” the man repeated, this time more sternly.
“I… I’m… Remus Lupin.”
The man paused and cursed under his breath, running his hand through his thick hair. No matter how distraught he appeared, however, it was undeniable that he had been severely startled.
“I mean… I’m not… Wait… I just… you know… I… I need help! Please!”
A sigh came from the Professor, and as he turned around a while after, he gazed straight into Remus’s eyes. “James and Lily are here,” he whispered. “They’re… they’re safe. Yes,” he continued, looking at Remus’s frightened expression, “we know all about their little escapade- and Sirius’s as well. Is Peter here?”
“How… how do you know…?”
The older man appeared to be deep in thought as his brow furrowed very slightly. Finally, he said softly, “Dumbledore has entrusted me with the care of James and Lily. I know all about what’s going on. Trust me.”
For a moment, Remus considered running out the door. But looking into the angular, yet warm face of the man in front of him, he felt an overpowering sense of security. Besides, what did he have to lose?
“Let’s find James and Lily,” said Lupin quietly.
“Yeah…” Remus agreed and unquestioningly followed the older man out the door.
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Sirius stepped hesitantly towards the building. The door was covered in badly colored pictures and a sign that read “Adults Keep Out”. It seemed as if the little kids inside were quite the warmongers. Oh well. He was a warmonger himself, so stepping inside couldn’t hurt.
When he stepped in, Sirius could hardly see a thing. Toilet paper was flying everywhere and a little girl was throwing marbles at anything in sight. This seemed fun. Picking up a half-used roll of toilet paper, Sirius ran across the room, screaming his lungs out. Although he had a feeling that this wasn’t the best way to introduce himself to the preschool teacher, it was his own method, and bully to anyone who disagreed.
Soon he had amassed the whole rest of the preschool who were all running around behind just as crazily. The only one who stayed behind was the teacher, who looked on with cautious wariness, but then gave all to the wind and jumped into the line.
After a half-hour of this, Sirius seemed to have been accepted into the small circle. The little girl had offered him her noon-time snack (which was a huge, economy-sized bag of pretzels. Sirius had the suspicion it had been stolen from the grocery store down the road, but said nothing) and the boy gave him his badly-colored picture. Meanwhile, the teacher, who appeared quite scary with his gaunt and pale face, had been staring at him for a while, his brows knitted in what seemed to be fierce concentration. Finally, he eased up, his eyebrows releasing into their regular position. Sirius blamed it on constipation. Sure enough, the teacher went off to the restroom.
“So… dance contest, anyone?” Sirius cried, and the kids crowed with delight.
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“What’d you do with your scar, Harry? Give it to Mad-Eye to add to his collection?” Fred asked, face shining with unrepressed enjoyment, but when he turned to his brother, George looked more stunned than amused.
Hurriedly James plastered his wet bangs back across his forehead. “Um… yeah. I was kind of fooling around with… er… Ron, and we kind of dulled the redness… and stuff… I mean, it’ll be back in a couple days or so, maybe even sooner…?”
Although Fred jumped on James, excitedly blathering about what spell he used; why did you choose now to get rid of the scar- George remained wary, carefully scrutinizing the evasive visage of James. Did he know? James thought nervously, watching George stride behind Fred and went by James, placing an arm around his shoulders.
“Well, Harry, we’d certainly be interested to hear about the disappearance of your scar- and just precisely how you did it- so why don’t you just follow me over here?” George said smoothly, his face betraying nothing as to what he suspected. Anxiously, James glanced from Lily back to George. Lily looked worried too, but gestured towards George, realizing there was no way out of it.
You can convince him you’re Harry..... You can… Reluctantly, James followed George towards the entrance courtyard of Hogwarts, when George suddenly stopped and turned on him.
“All right. I have no idea who you are, but what’s going on here? Ron’s been so evasive lately, there’s some girl with you that wasn’t at Hogwarts last time I checked, and lastly and most importantly, Harry would never play Opposite Day.”
“Why not?”
“Well, he might. But he would never say that he was his father from the future, anyway. So who are you and why are you impersonating Harry Potter?”
Was it best to tell the truth? James wished Lupin was with them; he would know what to do… He licked his lips nervously but still said nothing.
“Well.” George appeared quite disappointed, as if his show hadn’t made the effect he’d wanted it to. “I’ll find out who you are in a couple of minutes, anyhow.”
“What?”
“The Polyjuice potion,” said George proudly. “The potion must’ve been wearing off, so that’s why your scar had disappeared. As a matter of fact, your face is changing back too; lookit that! Your eyes are hazel. You can’t hide for much longer.”
Although James hated to rid people of their pleasures, he couldn’t help it when he hadn’t turned into a crotchety old villain. George appeared very confused and disheartened, once even shaking James by the shoulders and shouting, “WEAR OFF! WEAR OFF!” When at last there seemed no hope of Polyjuice being the cause of the situation, George sat down, almost pouting.
“You’re still not Harry,” he muttered as James gave him a slight wave and started to head off towards Lily. “I’ll find out about you yet.”
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