A/N: Submission for the Quarterly Challenge, mythological or historical figure, from Ravensgryff of Gryffindor House.


Low hanging branches swiped and slapped at the fleeing man tauntingly; the wind whispered, "Coward.� Brambles poked and slashed at his robes, inflicting the punishment he knew he deserved, clawing at him like a raging Hippogryff. He paused to listen and heard an owl hoot, then looked up toward the sound to find the creature glaring down at him through accusing yellow eyes. The wind seemed to whisper, “Murderer.� Out of nowhere, the limp form of Albus Dumbledore stared blankly at him, pleading, “Severus … please.� Severus Snape stopped short with a soft gasp and threw his hands up before his face to shield himself from the dread image ahead. He thought to himself, how did he get here? It can’t be. He shook his head and the image morphed into a fallen log, lying bleakly across the path. He ran a hand over his face and gingerly stepped over the log with his eyes closed. The night air was damp and heavy, making it feel warmer than it probably was, causing his clothes to stick to his skin, feeling as if they were closing in on him, binding him. Although they were outdoors, he felt a bit claustrophobic. Yet, he continued on through the vicious Forbidden Forest dragging Draco Malfoy behind him.

Professor Snape’s thoughts spun out of control through his mind, of all that had happened. He suddenly veered from the path, and his spindly legs carried him through the dense brush until he found the spot he was looking for: a small cave, dank and dreary, with a small ring of stones for a fire in the center of it. Severus had used this cave on several occasions long ago, and hadn’t been sure that he would still be able to find it. He grabbed Draco’s upper arm and led him inside. Holding his wand up in his other hand, he said, “Lumos!� and illuminated the darkness.

Once inside, Draco slumped against a wall and slid to the floor, a shocked, miserable expression upon his face. Severus stood stock still, fighting to regain his composure which had teetered right along the edge of oblivion up until the moment that Potter called him a coward. Then all control and reason had slid gracelessly over the edge and into the abyss. Finally overcoming the typhoon of emotions within, he began to breathe deeper and gained control once more. There was no time for self-indulgent outbursts or any such acts of self-pity. The sands of time were spilling away with a frightening speed.

He looked across the small space at the young man, and then waved his wand toward the fire pit, and a tiny fire sizzled to life before them. He kept the fire small to lessen the chance that it could be seen from outside the cave; it still managed to cast flickering shadows along the wall of the cave that reminded him of being before the Wizengamot, waiting for them to pass judgment. The shadows travelled so high upward that they disappeared into the darkness, implying the uncertainty of their immediate future.

Draco was hugging his legs and shivering although it was early summer. He had his head buried in his knees and was quietly crying. Snape knew this more from being able to empathize with the boy rather than from any outward signs. Draco had been groomed since childhood to hide his feelings.

“Draco, we have little time and there is much you need to understand,� he began, as he turned his back to the boy in order to allow him time to compose himself. Snape would not shame or weaken him more than he was already doing to himself. He continued slowly, “I can sense (or at least hope) that the gravity of what you were being commanded to do is now fully descending upon you. Understand that I could not, in good conscience, allow you to become a killer, nor do I believe that you would have wanted to become one. You have found yourself between the proverbial rock and hard place. Kill or be killed. What you must realize, by now, is that either way, it would not have mattered. Your life was forfeit from the start.�

Draco lifted his head only slightly, “Yes, sir.�

Snape slowly turned to face him and appraised him for a moment with cold, black eyes. “You are aware, then, that you were promised to Greyback?�

Draco ran an arm across his eyes before answering. “Greyback threatened me not long ago, because I was taking too long in my mission. He said that he would kill me if it weren’t done soon. Then he ...�

Draco’s voice had a hollow quality to it as he spoke and then he just trailed off.

Snape finished for him. “Bit you?�

Draco nodded and still would not lift his eyes to look at Snape. So, I was right, the professor thought to himself. “How did you know, Professor?�

“I could tell from your symptoms, Draco. However, since you did not confide in me when this happened,� he asked as gently as he could, “what did you do when you transformed?�

Now, Draco looked up at him, confused. “That’s just it, sir, I haven’t. There’s been one full moon since it happened. I had Crabbe and Goyle look out for me and I stayed in the Room of Requirement for the night, but nothing happened. I mean, I felt ill and craved raw meat. The room provided it for me. But nothing else happened. He was only partially transformed when he did it. Do you think that made the difference?�

Snape didn’t respond immediately. This was a disturbing turn of events. He had been unaware that this was what Greyback was now doing, biting children - even in his more human form. There wasn’t enough time to ponder the implications. “Possibly, Draco. However, your lycanthropy is not our biggest problem right now. You will have to go into hiding. If you return to the Dark Lord’s service, he will turn you over to Greyback. If you return to your mother, he will have you, and probably her as well, killed. Do you understand this?�

Draco squeezed his hands against his eyes then clutched at his platinum hair for a moment. “Yes, sir. Sir … what can I do?�

The older man experienced a pang of pity toward the boy, remembering all too clearly his own journey through darkness...

On the night that the Dark Lord had given Severus the “wonderful news�, that he would be the one to destroy the Potter’s son, he slunk back to his flat on Spinner’s End feeling as if the universe had just imploded upon him. It was a cloudy night; the air was heavy with rain and an occasional flash of lightning would brighten the sky like an odd secret code being flashed at him from heaven. Perhaps the heavens were trying to send him some message, guiding him towards escape from this terrible mission, but he couldn’t see it yet. He sat stiffly in the corner of the aging couch, and stared at a weakly flickering candle wilting in the center of the coffee table. The sleeves of his black robes were wet with the snot and tears that had been flowing until only an hour ago. Now there were none left, only a hollow numbness and the vestiges of a headache. How could he reverse the betrayal that he’d committed? How could he warn Lily that her son was the Dark Lord’s next target? He refused to move until he had an answer.

“You need to make a decision, Draco. Whatever that decision is, you will have to see through to the end, no matter what happens. The options are bleak to say the least. You can run, and pray that the Dark Lord doesn’t find you and that he is eventually defeated. Or, you can join the fight against him.�

Snape let these statements linger between them. He could see Draco’s mind revolving the choices through his mind, torn between loyalty to his family and the beliefs he’d been indoctrinated with from birth, and the strong desire for self-preservation.

“Sir, do you mean to say --�

“Yes, Draco, I have been working for the Order all along. There isn’t time to explain everything to you, but I can tell you that much. You see, it doesn’t matter that you know now because my life is as lost as yours is. The Dark Lord will think I’ve disobeyed his orders and robbed Greyback of his, shall we say, payment. The Order will want to avenge Dumbledore. I’m sure the Ministry will be looking for the both of us as well. However, to my way of thinking, there’s a better chance for the both of us to survive, by helping the Order and the Ministry, at this point. If he were to defeat them, he’d never forgive us and would destroy us promptly afterward. Regardless of your decision, I will do my best to protect you and your mother. But for my part, I will fight for the Order whether they know it or not.�

Draco thought for a while longer, then asked, “But, sir, how did you come to work for Dumbledore and the Order? Everyone’s been convinced, even the Dark Lord, that you were acting as a double agent …�

“Yes, and so I was. That is a long tale, Draco, one that would be beneficial for you to hear. We have a long journey and I’ll tell you what I can along the way. Suffice it to say that it all began with Lily Potter, the Dark Lord, and the Curse of Arachne ...

Now, we’ll need to find an empty Muggle house …�

At the mouth of the cave, a chill breeze pierced Snape like a dagger in his back, and sent an involuntary shiver through his body. He briefly wondered if he was leading Draco into more danger by trying to sway him toward working for the Order of the Phoenix. He could only hope that he was not about to betray yet another trust by breaking the promise he’d made to Draco’s mother months ago. With a few twitchy movements he was at the mouth of the cave, scanning and listening, poised for flight.

A/N: Submitted for Quarterly Mythology Challenge by Ravensgryff of Gryffindor.


Snape and Draco left the cave; the hour had progressed toward that time of night when all became eerily still and the temperature plunged. The night song had ended and the earth slept. Snape wound his cloak tighter around his body. The mixture of dampness and cold made an uncomfortable combination. The only sounds to be heard were their breathing and the crunching of brush beneath their feet.

The pair proceeded through the Forbidden Forest. The woods seemed less imposing now that Snape had calmed himself. Instead of the sinister and treacherous atmosphere of their initial journey, there now seemed to be a resignation in the Forest, a grumpy acceptance of the current state of affairs. The surrounding darkness still felt oppressive, but less vindictive.

Draco walked just ahead of him and Snape observed with a mild interest how, even with all the fear and trauma of the past several hours, Draco still managed to carry himself with a hint of a swagger. Snape reflected on the differences in their personal histories, which ultimately ended both of them in the same place. Draco had always been encouraged to stand tall and look down on others; Snape had always been belittled and rebuffed…

A shy, runty boy of about seven years old snuck out of his shabby home. When the door stood open, loud shouts and desperate crying were audible; they were muffled again once it was closed. The boy’s appearance was greasy, disheveled and worn.

A crisp breeze blew wispy strands of clouds through the mostly azure sky. The streets were fairly empty two hours before suppertime; most people were still working. No one noticed the forlorn child roaming around. When the yelling at home became too loud or scary, he wished he had a friend or somewhere to go.

He headed toward the playground a few blocks away. Upon his arrival, he noticed four little girls flying back and forth on the swings. They seemed so happy and free; their laughter was loud and raucous. Severus had seen them before, but had never talked to them. He approached the swing set, but had no idea what to do next. Gradually their swinging slowed and their laughter died down, as if the strange boy’s presence was a pillow suffocating the joy right out of them.

“Yes?� One little girl addressed him with a tone of exasperation.

He peeked out from behind his hair and attempted a greeting. “H-h-hi. M-my name is Severus,� he mumbled.

“So?� said another girl. “What do you want? Why are you standing there like that? Are you stupid or something?�

“Yeah, can’t you talk?�

“What are you, some kind of weirdo? Go play with some boys, or are you queer?�

The jeers amplified and they began to advance on him.

They were talking too loud and fast and he began to panic. He had just wanted a turn on the swing, couldn’t they just shut up for a moment so he could explain? He felt his eyes start to water and he recoiled from the little harpies.

“Shut up and leave him alone!� It was a young female voice. He dared to look up and saw the last little girl pushing one of her friends back. “You great bullies! Can’t you see he’s just shy? It’s alright, little boy, they won’t bother you. You can swing.� She stretched a hand toward him.

But, Severus was now too afraid of being tricked or attacked again. Frightened, angry and lonely, he ran away and cried…

Snape wondered if their childhoods had been reversed, would he and Draco have still come to this same crossroads together?

They circumvented Hogsmeade and made their way up into the hills outside of the village. They were close enough to the village that any magic they did could go undetected. Now that they were out of immediate danger, Snape conjured a couple of broomsticks, a few days worth of food provisions and some heavy, waterproof cloaks. Then the pair found shelter in another cave. It was much larger and less ominous than the one they’d hidden in earlier; the airiness of the space almost made it inviting. They would rest here during the day and leave at nightfall.

Snape had made the judgment that they should stay away from the Wizarding world, at least until it was absolutely necessary to return and retrieve Narcissa, Draco’s mother. Unfortunately, this added a layer of complication to their journey, as they would be unwise to use magic in the Muggle world if they wanted to avoid Ministry detection.

Snape shared the details of his story (omitting some of the more private ones) with Draco along the way.

---

Twenty years earlier…

Severus sat in the library, alone as usual, with his face pressed into a book entitled, A Compendium of Poisons, engaged in his studies. The library was one of his favorite parts of the castle; it was quiet, except for the occasional swishing sound of pages turning or the gentle scratching of quills. The blend of leather and parchment created a soothing aroma for him. He glanced out of a window. The grounds were starting to show the first hints of spring, with buds just appearing at the tips of the tree branches and only a minute patch of snow scattered around in the areas that received the least sunshine. The student population had grown antsy over the winter months and most people were meandering about the grounds on this particular Sunday afternoon. Today the library held even more appeal to the scholarly fifteen year old than usual: a fiery, redheaded, young woman seated several tables away.

It wasn’t very common for Lily Evans to be seen out of the company of the giggling twits she usually surrounded herself with. However, on occasion, he would see her alone, immersed in study, not unlike himself. In those rare instances, he had to admit that she created a distraction for him, but it was a pleasant one, so he accepted it and glanced her way every few moments, his eyes shielded by the stringy black wall that was his protection and his trademark. He noticed the familiar quiver in his groin that he regularly experienced when he saw her, and squeezed his eyes shut until it was gone. Such lapses of self-control were unacceptable, but ultimately unavoidable, at least at this stage of his life.

He had stealthily observed Lily for the past three years. He’d never taken a great interest in any other girls, or that’s what he told himself, but the truth was that he was never willing to risk being ridiculed and rejected.

Lily treated him differently than most. In those infrequent moments that they communicated or made eye contact, he never saw, in her eyes, what he’d become accustomed to seeing in everyone else’s: scorn, disdain and contempt. She intrigued him. It didn’t hurt that she was also quite brilliant at Potions and Charms, two disciplines that required a great deal of precision. As if he needed any other reason to be increasingly smitten, there was also the way she constantly bludgeoned James Potter’s ego. He and James had hated each other from their very first meeting, so any day he was knocked down a notch was a joyous one for Severus.

He watched her and contemplated his next action. For several moments now, actually weeks, months even, he’d toyed with the notion of asking her to join him for a short walk around the lake. It seemed innocuous enough. He didn’t feel very hopeful that she’d be interested – after all, what would people say if she were to be spotted with him? However, he at least felt certain that she wouldn’t scream at him or laugh in his face.

He rose and packed away his books. She was sitting in a dimly lit corner of the room. She had piles of books scattered across the desk and an oversized one open in her lap; her chair was pushed back just far enough for the top edge of the book to rest on the table. Severus sidled over to her, head hung low and …walked right past her. Cursing himself for his cowardice, he slowly doubled back. Still hidden behind his veil of hair, he murmured, “Hello, Lily.�

She looked up and gave him a pleasant smile. “Oh, hello, Severus. Studying hard?�

“Yes. Potions.� There was a strained silence. “It seems we’ve both been here for a long time and I was just wondering if you would care to take a break. I thought a short walk around the lake, perhaps?� He’d mumbled the words, his voice getting quieter and quieter with each one. His eyes were boring holes through the tips of his shoes and his breath was barely flowing past his lips. He chanced a sidelong glance at her to gauge her reaction. She didn’t appear to be revolted, a good sign, but rather mildly startled.

“Oh…er…thanks for the invite, but I really need to stay and finish up here.�

Although he never really expected her to say yes, disappointment, then anger, seized him. “It’s alright, Lily,� he spat, “I suppose you wouldn’t want to be seen with me. What would your friends think?�

She looked affronted and hurt; he felt a twisted sense of satisfaction at that. A flash of her own fury crossed her face before she recovered. “I should think that you would be the one to be ashamed of being seen with me, Severus. I know who you’ve associated with over the years – Bellatrix and Narcissa Black, Lucius Malfoy when he was here. I know what they’ve said about me behind my back and I haven’t forgotten the things they’ve said to my face. Don’t you lecture me about not wanting to be seen with the wrong people.�

He felt a momentary regret. “I’ve never said any of those things about you,� he whispered.

She looked down at her books and then softened. “But you never stopped them either, did you? Look, I’m sure that you can be quite a decent person when you want to be and I suppose you’re right. I don’t want to be seen with you, but not for the reasons you think.� She gazed up at him calmly. “It’s just that there is someone I fancy, though only Merlin knows why. Anyway, I’m fairly certain he feels the same way about me. I don’t think it would be a good idea for him to see us together. I just don’t want any trouble. I’m sorry, Severus. If it’s any consolation, I think I might have liked to be your friend.� Her face appeared sincerely dismayed.

Severus was crushed. “I understand,� he choked out, unwilling to lose any more dignity, then turned to slink out of the library.

---

Severus remained mostly friendless within the walls of Hogwarts. He had kept in contact with Lucius Malfoy, who had become something of a mentor. Still, within the school walls, he was quite lonesome. As his isolation deepened, so did his bitterness. He was particularly venomous toward James Potter and his friends. While he clearly hated Potter the most, Bella’s cousin, Sirius Black wasn’t far out of the running for Severus’ malice. Then something extraordinarily terrible happened.

Black, one evening, thought it would be amusing to advise Severus to follow his friend, Remus Lupin, below the Whomping Willow. He told Severus how to use a long tree branch to strike the special knot on the trunk that would allow him to get close to the base, unharmed. There, Black said, he would find a secret passage and an amazing surprise. Severus had been curious about why Lupin disappeared so often and also wanted to find some reason to get the boy in trouble. Against his better judgment, he followed the instructions.

He could hear the different voices of night creatures and the lapping of the lake along the banks. When he reached the passage entrance, he could hear muffled sounds, banging, growling, and shouting. He felt inside his robes for his wand and moved closer, cautiously. Behind the small opening was a tunnel; it was too dark for Severus to see very far inside. He brandished his wand and whispered, “Lumos.� He entered slowly, and silently made his way along the corridor. The amplified sounds became a more frantic mixture of screaming and thrashing about. Eventually Severus could see the outline of a door ahead; the noise was frighteningly close, as if something waited just on the other side of it. If Remus Lupin was in there, only two things were possible: something was attacking and torturing him horribly or Lupin was making the noise himself. There was a loud hair-raising howl and Severus finally understood what was going on; tonight was a full moon and Lupin was a Werewolf! He stood at the door with his hand suspended just above the doorknob. His heart raced with a combination of excitement and fear. Curiosity made him want to see the beast with his own eyes, but common sense arrested his movement. Before Severus could decide either way, he heard a voice yell, “Petrificus Totalus!� and he felt invisible ropes bind him. There was a loud thud against the door just as his hand was snapped against his side. He felt himself toppled over and dragged by the armpits back out of the tunnel and clear of the Whomping Willow.

Potter had intervened and saved his longtime enemy’s life. Severus hated him doubly after that. Of all the cruel twists of fate that he could have encountered, owing a life debt to that insufferable, conceited, spoiled waste of human breath was among the worst that he could imagine. The only good that Severus could see was that he now had a legitimate reason to hate Black just as much as he did Potter.

Tension between Severus and his enemies amplified and reached a fever pitch when Black hexed him in front of a crowd near the lake one afternoon after they’d taken their O.W.L’s. He’d been minding his own business when the attack came, although he half expected it, just because it was a fairly common occurrence when that little gang was around. Lily had defended him then, but he had become so sour toward her that he attacked her as if she were one of the violators. Unable to withstand any more torment, he’d lost control and called her a “Mudblood.� The look in her eyes when the word shot into the ether made him immediately regret having said it and then his anger, at himself, overflowed. But Potter had him, powerless. He swore revenge on Potter, life debt or not.

Later, every negative epithet that had ever been hurled at him over the course of his miserable existence surfaced. “Idiot, scum, worthless, cretin, freak, coward…� They all paraded through his imagination as he mentally flogged himself for hurting Lily. If there had been any miniscule strand of hope for the two ever to become friends, it was brutally snapped with that one word. His remorse lingered for a long, long time.

Because no wound is complete without a dash of salt being rubbed into it, Severus learned, soon after that incident, that Lily and James had become a couple, confirming an earlier hunch. The last glimmer of light that he’d held in his soul, knowing that Potter couldn’t have her, was snuffed out, and Severus Snape sank into complete blackness.

A/N: Submitted for the Quarterly Mythological Figure challenge by Ravensgryff of Gryffindor House.


After flying for what seemed like and eternity, Severus and Draco were fortunate to spot an old building that appeared to have been permanently abandoned. There didn’t appear to be another dwelling within miles. He made a mental note to survey the surrounding area in the daylight; this place could make a satisfactory hideaway for Draco and Narcissa if they could find their way back to it.

The furniture had been covered with sheets that held layer upon layer of dust. The air was sickening; with a moldy aroma that caused Severus and Draco both to instinctively cover their faces, shielding them from the malodorous assault. The house had two levels, with a rickety stairway that lead up to a loft. There was a wood-burning stove centered near one wall, but no wood readily available. It was just as well; there was no way to tell what the state of the flue pipe would be.

Once they’d settled themselves and adjusted to the stench, Severus watched as Draco huddled into a corner of a small sofa, as if trying to touch as little of it as he could, and was curious as to what Draco thought about his story thus far. He wondered if he’d revealed too much. “Does it surprise you, Draco, that I…cared…for someone, once?�

Draco pensively stared straight ahead for a while before answering. “Not really, no. You are human after all, even though… a Mudblood? But I understand now why you hate Potter so much; everyone always says how much he looks like his father. But what I don’t get, Sir, is how this relates to the Dark Lord?�

“Patience, Draco. I’m getting to that…�

---

Severus’ last two years at Hogwarts were a tale of misery, but they were made slightly more bearable by his initiation into the Dark Arts, which gave him a sense of power unlike anything he ever could have imagined. After Lucius Malfoy had left Hogwarts, Severus kept in touch with him; Lucius had become somewhat of a mentor. He and several other Slytherins that Severus associated with, although he wouldn’t call any of them “friends�, had shown him the real might of Dark Magic. Severus had finally been introduced to the Dark Lord and was eager to prove his worth, thereby gaining the favor of the most commanding living Wizard known. At last, the opportunity to advance among the ranks of the Death Eaters came.

The Dark Lord had ordered Severus to spy on Dumbledore and it was determined that the best way to do so would be to obtain a teaching position at Hogwarts. Severus sought out Dumbledore in order to apply for a position. On that night, he learned from some slightly unconventional sources that Dumbledore was conducting an interview at the Hog's Head Inn. He found the room and eavesdropped on the conversation; the woman inside with Dumbledore was apparently applying for a position as a Divination instructor and was failing horribly to impress the Headmaster. Then, to his pleasure, Severus heard her voice suddenly change and a prophecy sprung forth from her mouth. Unfortunately, he was caught snooping by the barman and forced to leave the inn. Still, seeing his chance, he immediately repeated the information he’d acquired to his Master, thus earning himself a place within Voldemort’s inner circle.

However, things weren’t to turn out the way he’d hoped. Several months later, he was summoned to his Master again. It was never a certainty where he would find the Dark Lord; he moved around quite a bit. There were some places that he returned to fairly regularly, however. Sometimes he would reside in a small cottage hidden at the back of the Lestrage’s property; at other times he would spend a few days here and there in a village called Little Hangleton, apparently the home of his deceased family members; still at other times he would place someone under the Imperius Curse for a time and occupy their home. On this particular occasion, Lord Voldemort was at the Lestrange Estate.

One thing that always amazed Severus about the Dark Lord’s dwellings was the fact that no matter where he was, he always made it a point to create the illusion that the place was abandoned. Severus Apparated outside the door and glanced around him. The cottage was located in a wooded area of the grounds and was surrounded by a low stone wall. Ivy had overtaken most of the outside of the house, sometimes making it look more like a burial mound than a man-made dwelling. He knocked and the door opened of its own accord. Inside, dressed in lightweight black robes, sat Lord Voldemort.

Every time Severus viewed the Dark Lord’s face, he had to stifle a shudder of aversion. Becoming the most powerful Wizard known had taken a toll on his Master. His skin was a transparent white; blue spidery veins that created an eerie web under his skin, were easily visible. His features had ceased to human: his eyes had become bright red slits, his nose was mostly gone and replaced by small openings that expanded and contracted as he breathed, his ears had fused into the sides of his head giving the impression that he had none. When Lord Voldemort spoke, he had a raspy hissing voice that completed the snakelike countenance that had overtaken him.

“Severus, my worthy servant, the information you have provided me with has become quite valuable. I have discovered two possible children who could fit the prophecy. I believe that I know which boy needs to be destroyed.�

“Most excellent, my Lord. And who is the child?�

“Ah, I think this will please you immensely, Severus. You see, it is none other than the son of your old nemesis, James Potter.�

Severus felt a moment of, what for him would pass as, glee. Then, almost instantaneously afterward, a deep feeling of horror followed his delight. That would also be Lily’s son! As was his instinct, he kept his face neutral and tried to bury all emotion. If the Dark Lord knew of his feelings for Lily, all would be lost. He had to think fast.

“That is indeed wonderful news, my Lord.�

“Yes, I thought you’d be pleased. Since you were the one to bring me this wonderful news, I will reward you. When the time comes, you will be allowed to do the deed. It will be the sweetest revenge for all the times Potter tormented you in your youth, will it not? Is Lord Voldemort not generous?�

“My Lord, I don’t know what to say…� Severus was being truthful at this moment. Over the past several weeks he’d grown increasingly apprehensive about the activities of the Death Eaters. He’d wanted power and was not afraid to be ruthless in obtaining it, but the murder and torture were becoming extreme and pointless. He knew the names of people who had been murdered, faceless individuals who had been destroyed. He didn’t expect for these abstract events to disturb him, but they did; he was becoming increasingly disillusioned and disgusted with the life he had chosen. The Bones family, killed. The brothers, Fabian and Gideon Prewett, were particularly distressing, as it had taken five of the Death Eaters to finally silence them. They were obviously quite talented and powerful Wizards; what a waste it had been to kill them. The McKinnon family was just another name, but when you considered how the list was growing, they were still a cause for concern. As someone who’d seen his share of abuse and destruction, Severus wondered if it would ever end? Would Lord Voldemort ever have enough power? How long would it take before Mudbloods didn’t provide enough of a target and Half Bloods were next?

Severus himself had not directly taken part in the atrocities yet, but it appeared that his true test would come in the form of murdering an innocent child. The child of the only woman for whom, aside from his own mother, he’d ever felt something other than abhorrence; perhaps he could even call the feeling tenderness. He had such little experience with emotional matters and at this point, what difference did it make? He would do whatever it took to repay his debt to James, and to protect Lily and her child. He had to; it was as simple as that.

He needed to keep these thoughts buried, and to control his revulsion. He had come to learn that the Dark Lord possessed the power of Legilimency, and was a master of the skill. This was how he had learned of Severus’ hatred towards Potter and his cronies to begin with. Yet, Potter had saved his life, and he couldn’t allow any harm to come to Lily or her son, so Severus had to find some way to help them. Naturally, he would have to do that, without sacrificing his own neck, wouldn't he?

“Thank you, my Lord,� he said, almost no time passed during these turnings of his mind.

Once Voldemort dismissed him, Severus returned to his home at Spinners End to decide the best course of action. The Potters would obviously need to be warned. Severus also had to figure out how he could avoid having to attack them without incurring the wrath of Lord Voldemort? He spent several days mulling over plan after plan. He had to contact her in some way, but how without raising suspicion?

He finally decided that simplicity would be best. An owl to Dumbledore with an enchanted note that would only reveal itself to Lily might work, but how would she figure out how to read it? A riddle? Yes, Lily would be clever enough to solve a riddle. He composed the note to Dumbledore:

Professor,
This note is of the utmost urgency. Please see that it reaches the hands of Lily Potter and her hands alone.

He then constructed the riddle:

First think of the person who lives in disguise,
Who deals in secrets and tells naught but lies.
Next, tell me what’s always the last thing to mend,
The middle of middle and end of the end?
And finally give me the sound often heard
During the search for a hard to find word.
Now string them together, and answer me this,
Which creature would you be unwilling to kiss? *

Finally, his message:

Lily,
The Dark Lord will be coming for you soon. You must take your family into hiding as soon as possible. The life of your son depends on it,

An unlikely friend

Severus had no idea if his plan would work, but it was the best he could think of.

Eventually, on Halloween night, the summons came. Lord Voldemort had found the Potters, thanks to the betrayal of one of their closest friends, Peter Pettigrew. Severus and Voldemort Apparated to the Muggle village of Godric’s Hollow. The moon was a mere sliver in the clear night sky, contributing to the darkness that was analogous to their purpose. Like many Muggle villages, the houses were annoying cookie-cutter replicas of each other. The only distinguishing features were the occasional gaudy lawn ornament or signpost declaring the residents.

Upon feeling the earth beneath his feet, Severus peered around, looking for his serpentine Master. He heard a voice hiss his name from behind, “Severus…my most faith-less servant…�

He paused for a heartbeat and turned toward the direction of the voice. “My Lord?�

“I never thought you to be so…weak, Severus. You’ve allowed your disgusting, sentimental emotions to taint your better judgment. Did you think that you could deceive me? Did you think that Lord Voldemort, the greatest Legilimens of all time, wouldn’t sense your…affection for the Mudblood woman? Ah, Severus, everyone makes mistakes. But you must learn that Lord Voldemort cannot tolerate such faltering in loyalty. You must learn that you can only serve one master.�

Severus’ heart began to speed up against his will; he groped for the words to extricate himself from this web in which he’d become entangled. He could say nothing, at least nothing that wouldn’t betray his fear. Fear was like a drug to his Master; if he sensed even a hint of it he’d find a way to extract more and more.

“One thing I am curious about, Severus. The riddle you chose…yes, Peter was quite responsible to tell me of your anonymous note and your clever riddle. The Potters evidently shared the information with him and although they knew not who had warned them, I figured it out. But, why a spider?�

If the Dark Lord was speaking so casually, Severus deduced that perhaps he might be able to walk away from this mess alive. “Master, spiders often symbolize fate, but have also been seen as weavers of illusion. I thought it fitting. If I may…�

Voldemort interrupted, “very clever. So, you thought you’d play the hero and win the hand of the maiden, but did you honestly believe that she’d turn to you, even then? No, I sense that you know better. It’s a punishment in itself, isn’t it, knowing that you gave up so much power for nothing? Well, Severus, you must pay for your transgression, but I will forgive you in time, I’m sure. In the meantime, you will suffer and learn.�

Before he knew what was happening, Severus heard, “Distorqueo Arachne!� And felt as if his body were being torn into a million pieces. The pain was incredible and he expected to see his clothing soaked in his blood, but when he glimpsed his hands and legs, they appeared to be exactly the same. It seemed like an hour had passed when the searing across the landscape of his flesh started to subside.

He heard a sinister chuckle and then Voldemort spat, “You will transform at the dark moon suffering more and more with each month from your changes until you will beg for death as the only way to end your torment. Now, you will carry out my orders and you will destroy all of the Potters! Imperio!� A foreign wand was thrust into his hand. “And you will use the wand of Lord Voldemort to do the deed. Yes, it will be my wand that brings down the Potters!� The Dark Lord cackled gleefully.

Severus almost immediately felt calmer than he had in weeks, but also felt as if he suddenly had two minds. So, this was what the Imperius curse felt like, he thought calmly. He’s going to make me kill Lily, I must fight it, was the next thought to come. However, he felt his resolve ebbing quickly and when the command came to turn toward the Potters’ house and destroy them all, he went obediently.

Severus quietly entered the house. James was on the first floor of the two-story home, tending a fire, his back to the door. The furnishings of the room were sparse and simple, yet appeared to be comfortable. A sofa, flanked by two Victorian era end tables, stood before a long glass-topped center table. At the far end of the room, there was a single chair that matched the sofa. Both pieces had windows directly behind them, which were covered with thick gold colored draperies. The room was quiet; where was Lily? Delicate thudding sounds overheard indicated that she was upstairs. James was apparently going to be easy prey.

Look at him, Severus considered, not a clue of what’s coming. Completely defenseless, with his wand so far away on the table, here is my worst enemy. Yet, do I really want to see him dead? Lily would be devastated, but maybe I can still save her. Perhaps she would forget about him one day. With the boy and James out of the way, could she then love her savior? But, I owe him my life. If I could only save her, wouldn’t that be repayment enough? Wouldn’t he be willing to sacrifice himself for her? I was. He then heard the command in his mind, “Do it, now!� And all deliberation was ended. James had turned then. Severus’ wand hand was wrenched upward, and he felt his mouth uttering the words of the killing curse, “Avada Kedavra!�

He watched as James eyes flew open in shock. He’d instinctively started to dive toward the table for his wand, but the spell caught him in the chest, mid-lunge. He seemed to hang there for a moment, glaring at Severus, suspended above the table. Then time returned and his body crashed all at once into the table, shattering the glass as well as the silence. James Potter lay, on his back, sightlessly staring straight up at his killer. In the part of his mind that remained free of Lord Voldemort, Severus felt sorry. He’d become a murderer.

He saw Voldemort move toward the stairs and at the same time Lily appeared on the landing, spotting her dead husband on the floor below.

Seeing her there, vulnerable, spurred Severus into action. He began to fight the Imperius Curse in earnest. He heard the intruder in his brain ordering him to eliminate her, now. But the part that was his own resisted fully. No, he thought, I won’t, I can’t. No, not her. No, Lily, get away! Must help her… No! Finally his body obeyed him and he rushed up the stairs. To his left a movement caught his attention and he hurried in that direction. She was there and the child, wriggling happily in his crib without a care in the world, was behind her. He shouted at her to take him and run, that he would hold off Voldemort…

The words burst forth from his lips, but simultaneously he heard one word shouted at him from behind, “Crucio!� He felt an excruciating pain wrack his body, as if it had been struck by lightning and the electric current was singeing each cell individually. He crumpled to his knees, useless, and then everything became diffuse. He could not discern what was happening around him, but still attempted to find her, to shield her. Instead, Severus found that he had moved farther away from his wards. Then the Dark Lord’s wand was wrenched from his hand and he was kicked in the gut. Winded and in such pain that he couldn’t see clearly, he vaguely heard Voldemort offering Lily the chance to be spared if she would give up the boy. There was a scream and a thud. Another killing curse, a roar, and an explosion – it was finished. He had failed.

Too weak to Apparate, he dragged himself down the stairs, around James’ dead body toward the fire that was still burning. Grabbing a bit of Floo Powder that was beside the fireplace, he tiredly said, “Spinner's End.� And toppled into his home.

He crawled to his bed, feeling broken in body and spirit, then cried, as he hadn’t done since he was boy.







*Goblet of Fire, U.S. Hardcover edition, page 629

A/N: Submitted for the Quarterly Challenge by Ravensgryff of Gryffindor House.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to J.K. Rowling.



The following evening, Snape’s eyes fluttered open as the waning daylight sent a subtle message into the depths of his brain. He tried to move, but found it difficult; sleeping in the uncomfortable armchair had stiffened him. Draco was stretched out on the couch with an arm hanging over the edge; a layer of dust had settled into his hair, leaving the impression that he’d aged as he slept the day away. Perhaps he had in a sense.

Snape got up and crossed to the front window. Peeking out from behind the moth-eaten curtain, he watched the day fade from what must have been a picture perfect day. The sky was layered with streaks of pink, purple, orange and blue as the sun lazily melted beyond the horizon. Snape could now see what had been concealed from him in the darkness of the night before: a vast valley full of wild, overgrown grass. The vibrant green grass was littered with yellow gorse that gave off a strong, sweet aroma of coconut.

There was a calmness to this place, a quietude, that Snape found alluring; if given the option to choose, he would gladly abandon the past twenty years of chaos and would make a fresh start in this abandoned haven of stillness. Although he’d just slept for several hours, he felt a weariness descend upon him. He felt an instant of understanding toward Albus Dumbledore; maybe eternal rest was not such a bad thing after all. Pushing these thoughts away, Snape refocused himself to the immediate tasks ahead. Hopefully, there would be time later, if all went well, to think about taking a rest.

He sighed, moved back to his chair, hugged his arms in toward his sides against the coming chill and pressed his fingertips together in front of his face. He stared across the room not really seeing anything, lost in thought. We have to move faster. If we don’t hurry, we won’t reach Narcissa before the Death Eaters do. If only there were a safe way to contact her, but she’s undoubtedly being watched too closely. Knowing Lucius, there must be some sort of hidden access to the mansion.

Severus figured that one more night of steady travel should get them to a more inhabited area where they could hopefully continue south by means of Muggle transportation, mixing with them to avoid detection.

“Draco, wake up. It’s time to go…�

---

November dawned with Severus feeling sickened and exhausted. He desperately fought against the panic that threatened to consume him. He kept telling himself that no one but the Dark Lord knew his whereabouts of the previous night, and he’d already handed out what punishment he intended. Severus would have to stay put and await orders; he wouldn’t want to anger the Dark Lord any further. He kept the heavy drapes covering his windows closed, appreciating the comforting darkness.

It was two days after Severus murdered James Potter and with no word from Lord Voldemort, he decided that he needed to find out what was happening. Someone should have either come to summon him by now, or to assassinate him. He stumbled to the lavatory and looked at himself in the mirror; he’d never looked so haggard. He quickly washed and dressed then emerged from his small home. But, he wasn’t sure where exactly he was going. He decided to start at the most obvious place, the chalet on the Lestrange estate; that was the last place he had seen the Dark Lord.

He found the house deserted. What should he do next? Something seemed amiss, but he couldn’t figure what. He Apparated to Lucius Malfoy’s manor, thinking that maybe his old friend would know something. He knocked for several minutes and got no response, which was odd considering that the Malfoys had both servants and House Elves. Finally there was a shuffling sound behind the great door, and a tense voice demanded that he identify himself. Severus complied.

The front door opened just a hair, and an eye peeked around the edge. Just below the eye, Severus could make out what appeared to be the tip of a wand. He recoiled slightly and reached for his own wand. “Lucius?�

“Are you alone, Severus?�

“Yes, why? Lucius, what has happened?�

The door swung open a bit more and Lucius commanded, “Come in, quickly!�

The manor was darkened and seemingly empty. Severus couldn’t get a good look at his mentor, but from what he could see, Lucius was agitated and had a growth of stubble around his cheeks and chin. He motioned for Severus to follow him, and they moved into the huge mansion, through a door, down several flights of spiraling stone steps and into a long tunnel. After many twists and turns, they finally entered a small room lit by candles along the walls. Lucius’ wife, Narcissa, held their infant son, Draco, and sat before an empty fireplace.

“You shouldn’t have come, Severus. It is too dangerous for any of us to be seen together right now.�

“Lucius, what is going on?�

Lucius appraised him with a look of incredulity; Narcissa turned toward him with a raised eyebrow. Lucius said, “Where have you been? You don’t know…Severus, the Dark Lord has been destroyed! As we speak, the Ministry and the Order of the Phoenix are hunting Death Eaters! You have to hide. We shouldn’t be seen together, and if you are caught, deny everything. Claim innocence, claim that you were being controlled by the Imperius Curse, lie. I, myself, am in the process of hiding as many dark artifacts as I can. It would look suspicious if you were discovered here, so for all our sakes, I have to ask you to leave.�

At first, Severus stared at Lucius wide-eyed and disbelieving, then as he absorbed the words of his “friend�, his eyes briefly narrowed. He quickly arranged his face into a more neutral visage and said, “Of course, Lucius, you must think of your family.� With a soft popping sound and a swirl of his cloak, Severus Apparated back to Spinner’s End.

He cleaned himself up and made himself more presentable. He couldn’t believe what Lucius had told him: Lord Voldemort was gone. It only took Severus a few more moments to decide what he should do. He Disapparated from his home and this time he knew somehow that his journey would be much more fruitful. This was a trip that should have been made long ago; if he had …Severus refocused his mind and entered the Hogs Head Inn. He asked to borrow an owl, sent a message to the castle and he started to walk away from the village of Hogsmeade toward the place where he knew he would find help: Hogwarts.

He decided to use the time during his long walk to get his story fixed in his mind. He had no intention of revealing too much to his old Headmaster if he could help it, and he hoped that Dumbledore remained unaware of his “associations�. Severus would merely say that he’d fallen on hard times and had found himself in need of employment. He’d ask for a Defense Against the Dark Arts position.

Severus could see his old school off in the distance, the castle’s towers partially concealed by the low hanging gray clouds. Because of the time of year, there was a definite bite in the air, but accompanying dampness suggested that rain was not far off. Severus felt more and more apprehensive with each step, wondering if he was making a mistake. Eventually he found himself facing a huge gate and was relieved to see someone standing behind it waiting to greet him. It was Mr. Filch, the grizzled and grumpy caretaker for whom Severus had always held at least a modicum of respect. The two men greeted each other with curt nods, and they proceeded to Dumbledore’s office. Filch spoke the password, “Dungbombs,� and the stone gargoyle moved.

Severus cautiously entered the large circular room and paused to take in the form of Albus Dumbledore. Even to the adult Severus, the Headmaster was still imposing and carried an aura of power that humbled the younger man. Dumbledore stood when Severus entered the room and smiled warmly, extending his hand. “Welcome back, Severus! It’s been quite some time.�

Severus crossed the room and shook hands, momentarily at a loss for words. Dumbledore offered tea and motioned for him to sit down in one of the cushy chintz chairs beside him. He sat, never taking his eyes off of Dumbledore, calculating how best to proceed. “Thank you for seeing me on such short notice, Headmaster.� He took a sip of the piping hot tea and set the cup down on the desk.

“Not at all, Severus. Your note indicated that you are seeking a teaching position.�

“Yes, that’s correct…� and Severus launched into his rehearsed speech about why he needed the job. “So if there were an opening, perhaps in Defense Against the Dark Arts, it was always a top subject of mine, I’d be quite appreciative, sir.�

Dumbledore remained silent and peered at Severus over his half-moon shaped spectacles. He had a hint of a smile partially hidden by his flowing white beard.

“Is that quite all, Severus? There’s nothing else you’d like to add?�

Severus began to feel uncomfortable under the older man’s gaze and wrenched his eyes away. He suddenly felt as if he’d stumbled into a trap and was unsure of how dangerous a trap it might be if sprung.

“Come now, Severus, let us respect each other’s intelligence. I will not insult you by letting you think that I’ve swallowed your story. Please don’t insult me by attempting to stick to it.�

Severus sat, using every ounce of fortitude he possessed to keep his face impassive. He looked Dumbledore in the eye, and then detecting a flash of anger, realized that he was beaten. He dropped his eyes and sighed. “How long have you known, sir?�

“For months now, Severus. I can’t say that I was surprised, though I was still a touch disappointed. I knew who your friends were when you attended Hogwarts. It wasn’t that hard to figure out, actually. However, I am aware that you’ve also managed to keep your hands fairly clean over the past couple of years. Perhaps there is still hope for you.�

Then Severus began to feel a familiar sensation coming over him: anger. This old man in front of him thought he knew so much. He had no idea what Severus’ life had been like before, during or after Hogwarts. Who was he, the almighty Albus Dumbledore, to judge his actions? And, how dare he play this game of cat and mouse now? At least when the Dark Lord wanted to punish you, he did it outright and got it over with; he didn’t drag out the game.

“Severus, I am not going to toy with you as you seem to expect. However, in order for me to allow you to come back to this school to teach, I must be able to trust you with the impressionable young minds and hearts that you would be working with. My first responsibility to this school as Headmaster is to make sure that her students are safe. Right now I am sorry to say that, due to your past associations, I am not convinced that you are a safe candidate to teach here. But, if you care to tell me the truth, it is still possible that you could convince me otherwise.�

Severus stared long and hard at his former Headmaster, analyzing his predicament. He finally concluded that Dumbledore could be a powerful ally and that the truth would be his best chance of gaining his trust. So, he told Dumbledore everything from his feelings for Lily Potter to his involvement with Lucius and the other Death Eaters to his attempt to save his most hated enemy’s family and being cursed as a result of it. At the mention of Lily’s name he felt a sense of sadness and failure descend upon him. Recalling her screams was like having needles puncturing his chest. The history of himself and Lucius unearthed feelings of betrayal. He remembered how Lucius’ words used to drip from his mouth like poisoned honey every time he spoke of the wonders and powers of his Master, who promised to become the most powerful Wizard of all time. Severus inwardly sneered at the promises he’d been offered, promises of power and glory beyond his imagining. As he spoke, the calm façade that he’d adopted started to crack.

He revealed to Dumbledore how disillusioned and worried he’d become once the murders began. Then came his orders to kill little Harry Potter. Severus’ hands shook as he told of trying to conceal his horror from Lord Voldemort. Of all the heinous things he could be asked to do, he’d never expected to be commanded to murder an innocent child. Finally, the dam of Severus’ voice and his cool demeanor broke away completely. He could no longer look at Dumbledore and buried his face in his hands instead. He felt mortified and disgusted with himself, first for following Voldemort and second for allowing things to go as far as they did.

“When he told me what his ‘wonderful’ news was, I admit that I had the briefest moment of happiness at the idea of bringing James Potter such pain. But…the boy was a mere baby. I knew about the prophecy…I was the one who informed the Dark Lord…� He sobbed into his hands. “But surely, a Wizard of his power needn’t fear a baby… and then I pictured her face. I wanted to die rather than to have been the one that betrayed her! He put me under the Imperius Curse to kill James, but when he ordered me up the stairs I fought! I swear, I fought as hard as I could, with everything I had in me, but it wasn’t enough!� Had he been stronger, more ethical, the friend that Lily ‘might have liked to have’, maybe she would still be alive. Shame filled tears poured from his eyes. “And, because he’d found out that I’d attempted to betray him, he cursed me. I don’t even know what the curse was and now there’s no chance of him reversing it. It’s no worse than I deserve!�

His head dropped again as a fresh spate of tears gushed down his cheeks. He remained this way for several uninterrupted moments, his body convulsing violently as he released what seemed to be an entire lifetime of grief and hurt. Coherent thought had long since vanished. “What have I done?� He shouted throwing his hands in the air. “How could I have been so…what kind of a monster…don’t deserve to live!" He let out a gut-wrenching howl, now clutching his hair and trying to rip it out at the roots hoping that he could rid himself of the filthy memories infecting him. Eventually, he quieted enough to hear Dumbledore’s voice.

“Severus…please. Look at me.�

Dumbledore gazed at Severus shrewdly and this time the black haired young man met his eyes and did not look away. Finally the Headmaster said, “I believe that in your heart you regret some of the more destructive choices you’ve made and I believe that you deserve a second chance. From what you’ve told me and from information I’ve gathered from other sources, I do not believe that we’ve seen the last of Lord Voldemort. I can see your obvious remorse. But, if he returns to power, how can I be sure that , you won’t go back to serving him?�

Severus gazed at the Headmaster blankly. Just beyond Dumbledore, through the open window behind him, he could see that the rain had come and was falling with abandon. It was as if the sky had become weary of trying to contain it; the wind sighed its relief. He’d just poured out his soul to this man, revealed more of himself to Dumbledore, than he had to anyone else in his entire history. What more could Dumbledore possibly ask of him?

Dumbledore continued, “I will make a deal with you. I do not think it would be wise to put you into the Defense Against the Dark Arts position lest you are tempted to regress to your old ways; however, I seem to recall that you had an equally high aptitude for Potions. As it happens, Professor Slughorn has recently decided to retire and his position is where you can fill a vacancy. It would also mean becoming the Head of Slytherin House.�

So far, this seemed workable on Severus’ part, although he was slightly disgruntled at not being allowed to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts even after all he’d just said. He could never imagine returning to Voldemort’s service.

“Second, I am familiar with the curse that Voldemort placed on you. It is called Arachne’s Curse and can only be countered with a potion called, if memory serves, the Draught of Athena. It is quite an arcane formula, but I will do all I can to help you to create it and thus cure yourself.�

This was more than Severus had hoped for and he was openly surprised at the pronouncement. He hadn’t intended to mention the curse, it had just slipped out with the rest of the emotional torrent he’d released moments ago.

“Finally, if you are willing to give some names of your fellow Death Eaters, I will vouch for you and I’m fairly certain that I can keep you out of Azkaban.�

This did not come as much of a surprise to Severus and frankly, he wasn’t all that bothered about naming some of the others. He knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that some would be all too willing to point an accusing finger at him in order to save their own necks. At last, he responded to Dumbledore’s offers with a question, “And what else, Headmaster, will you require in return for your generosity?�

Still watching over his glasses with a serene smile playing around his lips, Dumbledore responded, “You always were one of our brightest, Severus. If only you had used your considerable talents more wisely, how far you would have gotten! In return, I will require an oath – The Unbreakable Vow, to be precise – to ensure the safety of our students and your loyalty to myself and to Hogwarts.� The statements hung in the air like a criminal at the end of a noose. “Think it over, Severus, there is no rush.�

But, in the end, Severus decided that despite the fact that he felt as if he were enslaving himself to Dumbledore just as much as he had to Voldemort, the difference was that at Hogwarts, he would be safe. At least he would not be required to maim and torture, or to kill innocents. He could also learn a great deal from Dumbledore especially in the areas of Legilimency and Occlumency. So, Dumbledore contacted his brother, Aberforth Dumbledore, who Severus recognized from the Hog’s Head, to be their Bonder.

“Are you ready, Severus?�

Severus had had time to collect himself and clean himself up. He appreciated the fact that Dumbledore continued to act normally after his breakdown. “Yes, Headmaster.�
Dumbledore called his brother over and joined his right hand with Severus’. Aberforth rested the tip of his wand on the intertwined hands.

“Will you, Severus, protect any student of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, even at the expense of your own life?�

“I will,� Severus replied. A thin red flame surrounded their wrists, binding them together.

“�Will you, Severus, remain loyal to Hogwarts and to the Order of the Phoenix, should it ever have to be recalled?�

“I will,� came the second oath. A second flame surrounded their wrists and intermingled with the first.

“And, no matter what the task, will you, Severus, follow any instruction I give you without hesitation and without question?�

Severus hesitated for a split second, fearing a trap, but at a glance from Dumbledore, replied, “I will.� A third tongue of flame shot from the tip of Aberforth’s wand and created a rope of fire around their hands sealing the pact.

“Excellent, Severus,� Dumbledore said, releasing his grip. “You may return to your home, gather your things and begin tomorrow.�

With a slow nod, Severus backed away, turned and found his way outside the castle. The rain had stopped and the clouds were steadily blowing eastward.

A/N: Submitted for Quarterly Mythology Challenge by Ravensgryff of Gryffindor House.




After another long night of flying, Snape had had enough of being on a broomstick. He and Draco touched down just before dawn; they were careful to remain concealed in case there happened to be an early riser about. They crept around until they found a house with a shed in the backyard and shut themselves for a couple of hours to rest. Snape peeked out before they re-entered into the sunlight. After so many hours of being in the dark, the brightness was nearly blinding. Although Snape had never been fond of sunny days, he now welcomed the warmth; anything was better than balancing his buttocks on a broomstick with the cold, damp air gnawing away at his bones.

As much as he dreaded doing it, Snape decided that the best way to gain some ground toward Malfoy Manor would be to take the Muggle train. Neither he nor Draco could drive a Muggle automobile, so there weren’t any other realistic options that he could conceive of. Draco told him of a secret tunnel that led from the mansion about a mile into the woods at the edge of his parents’ property. Even his Aunt Bellatrix didn’t know about the tunnel; for some reason, Draco’s father didn’t completely trust her.

Fortunately, Draco had been wearing his school uniform beneath his robes and Snape had on dark trousers and a matching jacket. They could move through the Muggle town without drawing too much attention to themselves. After walking for about twenty minutes, they found a small shop. The shopkeeper was a barrel-chested, middle-aged man with a bulbous nose and an odor of ale issuing from his pores. Snape quickly got directions to the nearest train, which was in Durham.

“It’s ironic, isn’t it sir?� Draco asked the question as the pair trudged along the outskirts of the town toward the train.

Snape looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “What is, Draco?�

“That you, to your knowledge, were finally free of the Dark Lord, but then in essence became enslaved by Dumbledore.�

Snape sneered at Draco for a moment before replying. “I suppose you could look at it that way. That goes to illustrate a fundamental truth in life: everything we do has a price attached. I made some very bad choices and I’ve been paying for them ever since.�

They walked the rest of the way in silence.

---

It only took one day of classes for Severus to realize that he’d been extremely distraught and clearly irrational when he went to Dumbledore for this teaching position, even after the Dark Lord was gone. By the time his morning classes were finished, he’d barely managed to restrain himself from dangling several of the first year little mongrels by their ankles over the lake within easy reach of the Giant Squid. He kept reminding himself that Hogwarts was safe, and that Dumbledore had helped him when he could have easily tossed him to the Wizengamot. Severus was so exhausted and dismayed by his current situation that he’d completely forgotten about precisely what night was approaching.

He was alone, locked in his quarters, just after dinner in the Great Hall. Professor Dumbledore had allowed him to have the office down in the dungeons. His living quarters consisted of a sitting room and a bedroom behind the office where he received students. Severus didn’t bring many personal effects with him other than clothing; in truth he didn’t own much to bring. The bedroom was quite stark with only a bed shoved over to one corner, a trunk at the foot of the bed and a chest of three drawers. On top of the chest, Severus kept a glass pitcher filled with water and a cloudy drinking glass that looked as if it needed washing.

The sitting room was slightly better, but not much. Opulence, such as Severus had seen in other parts of the castle, made him feel distinctly uncomfortable and out of his element. Instead there were shelves filled with books lining two walls from floor to ceiling and a writing desk kitty-cornered. At the opposite end of the room , a small fire burned. A two-person sofa sat before a small table, both on top of a rug bearing the symbol of Slytherin House.

Severus was behind his desk with a quill in hand, grading simply dreadful assignments from his first years. They really were an awful bunch; practically illiterate judging from the essays he’d received. It was a simple assignment, just two inches summarizing the text. Unbelievable, he thought, do I have to teach them the basics of the English…

His arm convulsed and the quill dropped. Severus’ hands went rigid and bent into a clawed form, incapable of closing or opening. The pain originated in the center of his wrist joint; it was a sharp, stabbing sensation that felt as if a railroad stake had been forced through it. He stared at him forearms, looking for signs of anything that would clue him in as to what was happening. The feeling started to travel upwards through the bones of his arms, past the elbow joint radiating through the bellies of his upper arm musculature. He howled in agony; it was as if his arms were being ripped open from the inside. He stumbled to the wall and slumped against it, his arms now completely useless, screaming and flinging his head around trying to escape this nightmare. But there would be no escape this night.

The spears traveling through his arms found his shoulders and then connected at his spine where they diverged again, simultaneously moving up into his skull and eye sockets, and down his spinal column. He dropped to the ground, paralyzed, but still able to roar out the expletives that this torture demanded. He was blinded and helpless, but still the pain did not stop.

He was stabbed through his hips, his groins, his legs and his feet. Still, the pain continued. When it finally seemed that every bone in his body had been skewered with the unseen rods, he started to experience jabbing pains along his skin. He had a fleeting memory of a few nights ago, when he’d felt a similar ripping sensation and he knew. It must be the new moon and he was experiencing the effects of the curse.

Like huge chunks of glass gouging their way out of his body, thick hairs started to emerge all over Severus’ body. He was now silent, as his throat had begun to constrict, barely allowing him to breathe. The searing and ripping only ended when there was an explosion of sensation as he felt his bones reconfigure themselves; extra extremities began to grow. He was becoming a giant spider. His vision returned, but instead of seeing one image, he now saw eight.

An hour passed before the transformation was complete. Severus found that he could still think once the torment subsided. He lifted one of his legs and attempted to inspect himself. He was no mere spider; he was more of a small Acromantula. In this form, he had a bit of a dilemma, which was making itself quite apparent. He had no way out of this room and he was being overcome with the most intense hunger he’d ever known, accompanied by a desire for blood.

He sensed a movement near the fireplace and slowly revolved to make out the figure of a rat. He scuttled over to it and pinned it below one of his forelegs.

He awoke the next morning and beyond the excruciating metamorphosis of the previous evening, Severus remembered nothing. His sitting room was a mess: the papers he’d been grading were scattered about the floor, spilled ink and quills littered the desktop and the center table was also upended. A small clock that had been resting on one of the bookshelves was now lying morosely near the sofa, it’s glass face an intricate web of fractures. It indicated that the time was only six o’clock. Severus decided that he would tidy the room, get himself cleaned up and then would head straight to Dumbledore’s office.

Either the Headmaster didn’t sleep or he sensed that something had gone awry within his castle, but when Severus opened his door to go out into the dungeon, Dumbledore was standing on the brink of knocking.

“Headmaster…I was just coming to see you.� Severus was slightly startled, but regained his poise easily.

“I expected that you would, Severus. Last night was the new moon and I wanted to see how you were feeling this morning.� Dumbledore appraised him over his half-moon shaped spectacles and then nodded as if he were satisfied. “I see that you’ve made it through the night with relatively little damage. Why don’t we go inside and we can discuss your next course of action.�

Severus stepped aside to allow Dumbledore access. They crossed the room, which looked like it had never been disturbed. Dumbledore sat on the sofa; Severus conjured a straight-backed chair and sat across from him. The center table separated the two. Dumbledore reached into his robes and produced a piece of parchment fragile enough for a mild breeze to reduce it to dust. He carefully unrolled it and turned it around for Severus to read.

The words “Draught of Athena� were written across the top of the page. The rest of the page read:

Ground Ram Horn,
Six Drops of fresh Dragonsblood,
Three Red Oak leaves,
Two Monkshood flowers harvested at the new moon,
A pinch and a half Hellebore,
Dried Nightshade,
Olive oil base,
Must be brewed for six hours on the sixth day after the full moon.

Severus stopped reading, but stared at the potion instructions hungrily. He resisted the urge to snatch them off of the table. The potion did not appear to be all that complicated and he wondered how such a simple potion could cure such an arcane and dark curse.

Dumbledore spoke up. “Unfortunately, the potion will not work unless the recipient has undergone at least one full transformation. It is deceptively simple to make, but there is one other obstacle to using it effectively.�

Severus glanced up at Dumbledore. Of course there had to be a catch, he thought angrily. He felt that he’d been tricked somehow, that Dumbledore had raised his hopes for nothing. A scowl drew the corners of his mouth downward.

“In order to administer the potion,� Dumbledore continued, “you will need a very special artifact called the Aspergillum of Athena. Legend tells us that Athena became angered during her weaving contest with Arachne; she was unhappy with the subject matter of her tapestries and also with Arachne’s arrogance. Athena chastised Arachne, and the girl became so distraught that she hung herself. The goddess took pity and sprinkled this potion onto the young woman using the Aspergillum. She was revived, but came back to life as a spider. Without the Aspergillum, the potion is virtually useless.�

Severus absorbed this information for a few moments, his eyes not seeing anything but the horizon and his fingers creating a steeple in front of his face. “Why does the potion require that the cursed party undergo a transformation before they may use the it effectively?� There was a hint of accusation in his tone.

Dumbledore was apparently going to overlook the snideness in Severus’ statement and replied calmly, “Whoever created this curse did so as a means of severe punishment. For a long time there was no way to counter it; however, once the potion was formulated it was discovered that it could work as long as the recipient had transformed at least once. Unfortunately, it seems that the curse ensures that the accursed will endure at least some level of torment.�

Severus closed his eyes briefly and then slowly stood up. He crossed to the bookshelves and caressed a few of the leather bindings. The feel of them against his skin was soothing. “And where would I find this…Aspergillum, sir?�

“Therein lies the challenge, Severus. I would begin with one of the Wizard antique shops. There is a quite reputable one, called Aurora’s Antiques in Manchester. It’s been in existence for centuries. I will send an owl to the current owner and tell her that you’ll be coming to see her. Further, I will put all available resources at your disposal in order for you to research this. If you need to travel, we can make arrangements for your classes to be covered in your absence. Now, is there anything else that I can do for you, Severus? I am quite hungry and I do believe that breakfast is now being served in the Great Hall.�

“No, I mean, thank you, sir. I appreciate your support in this matter. I will begin my search at once.� With that, Severus followed Dumbledore out into the hall.

Severus decided to wait until the weekend to visit Aurora’s. Although finding the artifact was a time sensitive matter, his sense of responsibility would not allow him to take personal time so soon after beginning this new position, even if he did loathe the children.

On Saturday morning he lit a fire in his sitting room, tossed in a handful of Floo powder and shouted, “Aurora’s Antiques!� Everything began to spin around him and then he was flying out of the grate into a rather large, cluttered room. He looked around for anyone; Dumbledore had told him that the owner’s name was Talair and that she’d be expecting him today. When he didn’t see anyone, he called out, “Hello? Is anyone here?�

He looked around the shop. There were glass display cases scattered through the room and larger pieces of furniture lining the walls. Merchandise hung suspended from the ceiling and the walls. He expected it to smell musty like old things sometimes can, but the air held a hint of fresh flowers. Severus was becoming a bit uneasy about the silence so he ventured forward toward a low glass display counter when he saw a small bell on top. As he lifted his hand to ring it, a voice from behind caused him to flinch.

“Don’t ring that. It makes the clocks on the wall chime and I have a devil of a time getting them quieted down.�

Severus turned quickly to see a tall, young woman with caramel colored skin standing before him. She was wearing dark colored silky pants and a purple, thigh length tunic with a high collar. Even to him, a man who almost never noticed a woman for her physical attributes, she was quite a stunning vision. She had white hair that hung in a plait down to her waist and tattoos along her hands. He briefly wondered where else she was tattooed, and then wondered where she’d come from. The most striking thing he noticed were her eyes, which were a reddish brown color; he’d never seen anyone with eyes quite that hue. She seemed rather otherworldly to him, although he couldn’t pinpoint why. She smiled at him and said, “You must be Severus. Albus said you’d be here today, but I didn’t expect you quite so early.�

“I apologize ; I wasn’t sure what time you would open and I wanted to get an early start. You are Talair, I presume? I’m very eager to hear any information you might have. Did the Headmaster tell you what I’m looking for?�

“Yes,� she answered moving past him toward the counter, which he now saw contained several ornate daggers. “The Aspergillum. I haven’t had anyone ask about it in many, many years.�

To Severus, it didn’t appear that she had even been alive for many, many years. “You know its whereabouts, then?�

“Well, not exactly. As I said, it’s been ages since anyone has inquired about it. There was a gentleman, oh it had to have been around ‘forty-seven or ‘forty-eight…not long after the war ended, and he’d come around for it. He was a very handsome and charming gent, but a bit too much so, if you get my meaning. Anyway, I looked into it for him and tracked down the owner for him. I offered to broker a deal for him if she was willing, but he said he’d had some experience in the trade and would just as soon do it himself. I had no hard feelings about it. The strange thing is that a few days later I tried to contact her, just to see how it turned out, and I learned that she had died very suddenly, apparently in her sleep. The piece never turned up after that.�

Severus turned the information over in his mind. It sounded suspicious. “Do you remember the gentleman’s name by any chance?�

“Of course not. That was almost forty years ago!� She chuckled and reached below the counter for a dusty, leather bound book. “But, you’re in luck, my friend. I happen to keep very thorough records of everyone who makes an inquiry in my shop. You just never know... He didn’t give much information, but his name was…� She thumbed through the pages. “Yes, here it is! Tom Riddle. That’s him.�

Severus’ eyes flew open in surprise, but he hung his head down to conceal his shock at hearing the name. After a few moments, he looked up, thanked Talair for her help and excused himself, saying he needed to get back to the school. She accompanied him to the fireplace and held out a ceramic jar filled with powder. “Good luck. Let me know if I can help any more.� She flashed a coy smile at him and he felt unnerved.

“Thank you again. Er…there is one more question I have. How is it that you remember something so long ago? You seem too young…�

“Didn’t Albus tell you? I’m a half-Genie – incredibly long life span.� She chuckled again and waved.

Severus nodded his head once in understanding and then without any further delay, returned to Hogwarts.

There was now a major decision looming over Severus’ head. He decided to go for a walk around the grounds. The sky outside was clear, but the wind whipped across the grounds performing a frenzied autumnal dance, twirling the leaves and frantically coaxing them up from the ground only to slam them back down to earth; the frenetic nature of the air swirling around and through him reminded Severus of the chaos that his life had so recently become. Would it get worse before it got better? All the indicators seemed to point toward that conclusion. The big question weighing on him at this particular moment, however, was how much should he confide in Albus Dumbledore? Did Severus dare mention Tom Riddle’s name to Dumbledore? Would Dumbledore think that he was already reverting to his old ways so soon after being given a second chance?

Then there was always the question of what Riddle did with the artifact once he claimed it; Severus had no doubt in his mind that he’d stolen it whether or not he’d killed the woman for it. But, why would he want it that badly?

Severus walked until his fingers were immobilized from the cold and then came to his decision. There were still a couple of hours until dinner, so he went to the Headmaster’s office. He spoke the password and descended the stone steps, then paused outside the door to knock. As he lifted his hand to do so, the door swung open and Professor Dumbledore looked up from the desk after stowing his wand in his robes. “Good afternoon, Severus. I hope your journey went well for you today.�

Severus entered the room and sat in the less squashy of two armchairs in front of the desk. “Your acquaintance at the antique shop was very helpful. She was able to trace the Aspergillum up until about forty years ago. The trail ends with…� He paused, reconsidering his decision to tell Dumbledore, but then deciding again that it was the best course. “Tom Riddle was the last one to seek it.�

“Ah,� said Dumbledore simply. “As Tom Riddle is allegedly destroyed, that may present a bit of a problem for you.� He paused in thought, tapping his fingers together and gazing into the horizon.

Severus didn’t think it useful at the moment to distract him. He glanced around the room and noticed a large red and gold bird perched near the desk. Reaching back into his memory banks, he deduced that this was a Phoenix. It was an attractive bird, but Severus observed it with a great deal of detachment.

“I think that your best chance of finding any clues to what you are seeking would be to visit the old Riddle House. You may have a better idea of where that might be than I would.�

Severus lifted an eyebrow, not sure if Dumbledore’s statement was meant to be antagonistic or not. “Yes, Professor. I have a good idea where the house is. I think it may take several days for me to make any progress, however.�

“As I said before, Severus, you may take as much time as you need. I see no need for you to suffer through more than you already have.� Dumbledore caught his eyes and held them with his own. Severus could feel the master Legilimens attempting to bore into his mind and fought against the invasion. Severus was a better-than-decent Occlumens, but Dumbledore was obviously the stronger of the two. The last thing that Severus wanted was for Dumbledore to start poking through any more of his dark memories. Finally, Severus broke the visual contact and Dumbledore said, “How long do you intend to punish yourself? You’ve made mistakes and you made every effort to rectify them. While it is natural for you to feel some level of guilt, you will not come to any good by tormenting yourself, Severus. You must find a way to forgive yourself.�

But that was the one thing that Severus just was not prepared to do, at least not yet. He could not abide by the foolish decisions that he’d made and what was worse, he couldn’t accept the fundamental fact that he was a phenomenal failure. He’d failed at being a Death Eater because he allowed sentimentality to weaken him. Then he failed at saving the Potters. In the deepest part of his soul, acidic as it was, he believed that he deserved to be cursed, and subconsciously he intended to take his time in curing himself. It seemed to be the least he should do. But, he didn’t want to admit it to himself and he certainly had no intention of laying himself bare for Dumbledore any more than he already had.

Dumbledore continued, “If you need the time, just ask, but I somehow doubt that you will.�

Severus quickly did some mental computations. If he waited until the Christmas holidays, that meant roughly another six weeks before he could get started; that meant at least one more transformation, undoubtedly worse than the last one. “Sir, I will visit the Riddle House next weekend. It may come to pass that I am lucky and find something right away and nearby. I’m not very optimistic that I will be that fortunate, but I should at least get started. I doubt that I will be able to avoid traveling, knowing who the last purported holder of the Aspergillum was. I fully expect to have to endure at least one more transformation. If that is the case and I haven’t found anything in the next few weeks, then I will spend the Christmas holidays traveling and seeking.�

“As you wish, Severus. If I can be of any further assistance, again all you need is to ask.�

With that, Severus excused himself and retreated to his office until dinner. He had much work to do.









A/N 2: According to The Witch's Goddess by Janet and Stewart Farrar, the Goddess Athena had several magical items attributed to her; the Aspergillum was one of them. It is a holy water sprinkler, usually seen in Catholic churches. In one version of the Arachne myth (see the Wikipedia free encyclopedia) after Arachne tried to hang herself, Athena sprinkled her with aconite juices. This flower is also known as Monkshood or Wolfsbane.

A/N: Submitted for the Quarterly Mythology Challenge by Ravensgryff of Gryffindor House.



The sky had transformed from a clear, bright blue to a murky, cloudy grey. Severus Snape sat on the train, across from his ward, and watched the countryside swoop by on their southbound journey. They had spent the previous forty-eight hours, or so, traveling by night, engulfed in darkness; as soon as they had become free to walk in the daylight again, the universe slapped them with dreariness once more. Typical, Snape mused, it’s as if something is trying to tell me that, no matter what I do, I’ll never escape the dark. Well, if there’s no hope left for me, I at least hope that Draco will be spared such damnation.

Snape gazed at his blond companion and listened to the loud clacking of the train’s wheels against the cold iron tracks. Draco stared out the window and asked without turning his head, “Sir, may I ask you something very personal?� He appeared to be immersed in thought and his voice carried a hint of temerity.

“You may ask, Draco, but I will not promise an answer until I’ve heard the question.� Snape, however, did not imagine that Draco could ask anything much more personal than the things he had already learned about his former Professor.

“Do you think that you will ever completely forgive yourself for the choices you’ve made?� Draco’s face was blank, but there was a hint of longing in his eyes, a desperate need to hear that once this was done he could resume a normal life.

After a long pause and several minutes of staring, unseeing, at the tall grasses whipping against the side of the train, Snape responded. “I don’t know, to be honest. There have been so many mistakes and casualties, my self-determination not being the least of them, that I wonder...but, I haven’t completely lost hope yet.�

Following several more moments of silence, Draco asked, “So how did you ever get that artifact?�

---

Severus visited the Riddle House the following weekend, but to no avail. There was not a sign or clue as to the whereabouts of the Aspergillum. He did find, however, evidence that someone else had been to the house not long before him. The house had apparently been ransacked. Only Death Eaters knew that anyone had inhabited the house within the past fifty years; how disappointed the Dark Lord would have been to know that as soon as he was destroyed, his so called ‘loyal followers’ had looted his belongings. After an hour of searching the house, Severus pulled up a blue velvet Victorian chair and sat down to think. The Dark Lord would not have left something of value where his Death Eaters could find it; Severus had been stupid to think the Dark Lord would hide the artifact in such an obvious place. He had to think like Lord Voldemort if he was going to make any progress. Severus looked around the room, raised his wand and shouted, “Scourgify!� He saw no reason to leave the place in such disarray.

When no answer came to him after several weeks of researching as much as he could about the Aspergillum, he deduced that if the artifact belonged to the Ravenclaw family, then the Dark Lord might have possibly hidden it somewhere close to their ancestral home. It was as good a place to look as any other. Severus had experienced another torturous transformation and was now eager to cure himself. This type of self-torment didn’t suit him after all.

One Saturday afternoon, two days before Christmas, he had an idea. He knew who would be able to help him, and it wasn’t Albus Dumbledore this time. Then, without another moment’s delay, he Flooed to Aurora’s Antiques.

It was midday, this second time visiting the antique shop, but the store was still eerily quiet. Through the front window, he could see shoppers meandering by, occasionally stopping to look in and point at an interesting object on display. The day seemed bright, but quite windy; people clasped scarves tightly around their necks and hunched their shoulders against the relentless gusts. Severus disinterestedly watched the scene for a moment and then turned toward the counter. He paused with his hand held over the bell, and then remembered that Talair had not wanted him to ring it on his last visit. He lowered his hand instead and spoke into the air, “Talair, are you here?� He felt quite foolish speaking to the ether, but he didn’t want to snoop around the place to look for her either.

Severus saw a shadow emerge from behind a large, mahogany armoire; he then heard a familiar voice. Still he could not see the form of the shop’s curator, who purred, “Back so soon, then?� There was a tap on his shoulder and he barely stopped himself from jumping forward several inches. He whirled around and there behind him stood Talair with a mischievous grin plastered across her face. “No need to go all apoplectic, love. It’s only me.�

Severus narrowed his eyes; he had no inclination to play games with this woman, but he knew that he needed her help. He bit back a sharp remark and took a deep breath before he spoke. “That was an…interesting trick. Highly amusing.� He stretched his lips almost painfully into something that he hoped resembled a smile. “It’s good to see you again, Talair.�

She laughed heartily at this. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’d like nothing better than to throttle me right now and you know it.� She walked around to the other side of the counter. “Thanks for not ringing the bell, by the way. What can I do for you?� She was all business now.

Severus drew his head back slightly, in hesitation. This shopkeeper was certainly unsettling. He looked at her more closely, trying to decide if she was a friend or foe. She was dressed similarly as the last time he’d met her, except this time, she had on a tunic with sleeves that stopped at the elbow. Her forearms were tattooed, as he had suspected before, with intricate swirls and knots. He inspected them for several moments.

“You like my tattoos?� She asked the question with an annoying smirk curling her lip.

“They are quite…unique. Do they…�

“Cover my entire body? Of course.� She smiled more broadly at this statement and leaned a few inches closer. She was obviously enjoying his discomfort.

Severus suddenly felt that his breath was constricted by her nearness and took a step back. “I was going to ask if they had some significance – the designs.�

“Hmm, yes they do. Family heirlooms, you might call them. Anyway, you’re not here to discuss the markings of my flesh,� she drawled out.

Severus straightened. “Yes, I’d like a bit of information about the Ravenclaw family if you could provide it. Where was their ancestral home, that sort of thing?�

“Oh,� she said brightly, “I can do better than that.� With no further warning, Talair snatched his hand from across the counter, and within the space of a heartbeat they were transported to a small rural village.

It was viciously cold and the wind tore at the skin on Severus’ face. He could barely hear Talair when she shouted, “Over here! There’s a little inn where we can get out of the cold!� She pointed and took hold of his arm, leading him toward a two-story, thatched roof cottage.

Once inside, Severus briskly ran his hands over his arms. Just the few moments that they had spent in the intense cold chilled him to his bones. Fortunately, a bright fire blazed in the hearth at the opposite end of the room. Talair led the way to a table right next to it. The room was nearly empty of people. An old couple sat huddled at one end of the bar, and a younger man, perhaps close to Severus’ age, stood behind it. He was hunched over, writing so intently that he didn’t seem to notice the newcomers. After a few minutes, another woman, younger and significantly plumper than the other women in the room, ambled through a door; she spotted Severus and Talair, then made her way toward them.

The waitress was ambivalent toward the new customers as she took their order. Once she left them, Talair spoke up. “My mother was an Efreet– that’s a fire genie to common folk. I could step into those flames right now and it would be just like stepping into a warm bath.� She gazed at the flames longingly; Severus had no idea why she was sharing this information with him, so he changed the subject.

“Where are we exactly?� He had the fleeting, horrific thought that this bizarre woman had kidnapped him, and brought him to this practically deserted place, for some illicit purpose. But, that would be ridiculous. She could have virtually any man she chose and they would accompany her without the use of deceit. Why, then, did she bring him here?

She slowly wrenched her eyes from the fire and looked at him blankly. Then, with a surprised blink, she answered, “Oh, sorry. We are in an ancient village near Orkney. It’s an old Wizard village, but most of the inhabitants have migrated to warmer climates over the years. A few of the heartier families have remained though; there is an ancient burial mound not far from here that Wizards and Muggles alike still come to visit. It will be dark soon, but I can take you to the Ravenclaw ruins in the morning.�

Through their supper, Talair kept up a steady stream of conversation, mostly giving Severus information about the town as if he were merely some tourist on holiday. “You seem to know a great deal about this area,� he said as politely as he could; she was after all taking the time to assist him. He reasoned that showing manners was the least he could do in return. Perhaps if he succeeded in finding what he sought, he’d send a thank you note as well.

“Well,� she replied, dabbing at the corner of her mouth with a cloth napkin, “I was born here, so I should know a bit about it. My mother met and married one of the village elders. My father was an exceptional Wizard and summoned her to combat a Frost Giant that was plaguing the village. If you know anything about Efreet, they hate to submit to humans and they can be quite spiteful. My mother seduced my father as retaliation for summoning her. Instead of being able to leave him pining over her as she planned, she became pregnant with me. Unwilling to be saddled with a half-human baby, she left me with him to be raised as a Wizard. I only have contact with her every few decades and he is long gone, but I still come here occasionally.�

This was more that Severus initially wanted to know, but the more he thought about it, he felt a slight twinge of sympathy for his odd companion. He knew all too well how it felt to be unwanted by a parent.

By the time they finished their meal it was indeed dark. Talair managed to procure two rooms and they separated to their own quarters for the remainder of the evening. Severus conjured a few of his books and read until he fell asleep, sitting up in bed.

He was standing in a wide-open meadow deeply blanketed with snow. The wind billowed his cloak out behind him and swept his hair away from his eyes. Directly ahead was a huge mound of earth; he stood facing an opening that appeared to lead down into the ground. The mound was also buried, but Severus could just detect a rectangular outline of green light on one side of it. He began to circle around the mound slowly and saw two more similar outlines illuminated beneath the snow. He finally approached one outline and stretched his hand forward – he instinctively knew that he needed to touch it – and then the entire mound was suddenly engulfed in flames, consuming him as well. The fire scorched and incinerated him; he felt as if his skin was melting from his bones. He attempted to scream, but no sound issue forth…

Severus awoke the following morning feeling strangely refreshed, buoyant and inspired. When he descended to stairs, he immediately spotted Talair by the fire. She held her head in her hands as if she had a hangover. Perhaps she isn’t a morning person, he thought, unconcerned. He rushed over and slid into a seat opposite her.

“In your ramblings last night, did you say that there is a cairn somewhere nearby?�

Her eyes flashed a bright, angry red and she scowled at him; it appeared that she would like nothing better than to gouge his eyes from their sockets and he felt momentarily afraid, but then her face softened and her expression was merely one of disgruntled disappointment.

“Good morning to you, too.� The sneer remained across her lips as she rolled her eyes away from his face.

Severus realized that he’d been extremely rude and ungrateful; after all, she was taking time away from her business to help him. Upon further inspection, she did not seem at all well. “I apologize. Good morning. You appear to be…ill. Can I help? Perhaps prepare a potion? I’m sure they have some basic ingredients in the kitchen.�

She gazed at him silently for a moment and he had no idea what was going through her mind, although he was curious. She replied, “No, thank you. I’ll be all right in a short while. It’s just a headache. You’re rather…energetic…this morning.�

“Yes,� he said, relieved to have the discussion back to a more comfortable realm. “I had an idea when I woke up that we might begin our search near the burial mound. I’m not sure why, but I feel as if that’s right.�

Talair had the faintest hint of a smile playing about her mouth. “Well then, the cairn it is. I’ll need some breakfast first.�

Barely an hour later, Severus and Talair wrapped themselves in cloaks and left the inn. The wind outside was howling as hostilely, if not more, than the previous evening. The village still seemed virtually deserted; occasionally a person would emerge from a dwelling wrapped in layers from head to toe. It was impossible to distinguish males from females.

Severus noticed that along the main road there were in fact a few shops open for business: a general market, an oil merchant and a butcher. He could not figure where the meat would come from to be slaughtered, but he chose not to dwell on the question, and decided to focus on the task at hand.

The burial mound was about a mile and a half away, so instead of walking the pair decided to Apparate there; Severus was not sufficiently dressed for a long hike in this type of cold.

Since the area surrounding the mound was wide open, the wind was having quite a raucous party, pushing Severus around and hampering his progress as he attempted to approach the cairn. His fingers quickly lost most of their feeling and he tucked them under his armpits to retain some level of heat in them. He turned to face Talair; she appeared completely unaffected and comfortable.

“I could warm you up, you know.� She had a feline smile on her face, slick and coy.

This time, he could not bring himself to scowl at her flirtation or to retort. The truth was that he could find no reason to dislike her and actually felt a mild curiosity about her. Also, the pragmatist in him was incredibly cold. “Can you, really? Or are you just amusing yourself at my expense?� He felt his cheeks relax and broaden into a rare, but genuine, smile.

“Stand still,� she commanded, grinning. She stood about three feet away from him and held her palms up toward him.

Miraculously, he felt the air warming and swirling around his body. Within moments, he was comfortable and the blood flowed back into his extremities. Severus was impressed and he lifted his eyebrows to indicate as much. “Thank you, but can I move?�

Talair chuckled. “Of course. The heat shield will follow you, but it’s not indefinite, so you’d better start searching.�

They found the front entrance to the tomb, which was closed off by a primitive, wooden door. Severus began to walk around to one side of the mound and concentrated his hardest. He needed to open himself, all of his senses, which was entirely counterintuitive for him. He’d become so accustomed to closing himself off from the world that it took him several minutes before he got the faintest sense of a green outline around the front door. Concentrating for a few more moments, it became clearer and brighter. He reached forward to touch the door, but felt an icy barrier before his fingers touched to wood. Recalling the dream, he looked for similar outlines at each side and found them just as he knew he would. The question was, which one would lead him correctly? None of the areas felt any different from the others, so it would have to be a simple matter of trial and error. Severus stalked back to the left aura; Talair stood perfectly still except for a subtle nod as he looked toward her.

He stretched his hand forward, tentatively. His hand reached within an inch of the snowy outer wall and then began to feel tingly. He pulled away, startled. Unsure of what to expect, Severus drew his wand from his cloak and touched the spot again; it immediately began to vibrate in his hand. He whispered, “Specialis Revelio,� and was amazed to find that the Colloportus spell had been used to seal a secret door. He raised his wand and prepared to utter the counter spell, but Talair interrupted.

“Wait, you have no idea what might be in there!� She approached him, drawing her own wand. “Maybe you shouldn’t go in alone.�

Wordlessly, he nodded and refocused on the door. With a wave of his wand and a whisper, it creaked inward to expose a pitch-black passage leading down into the earth. “Lumos,� he said softly; the tip of his wand illuminated. He had made it about twenty feet in, with Talair not far behind when suddenly he heard shuffling and scuttling. Then without warning a large furry shape shot out of the darkness and smashed into his midsection, throwing him backwards. Within seconds, he felt sharp teeth gnashing at his neck; he was barely able to fend it off. The creature was heavy, fetid and annoyingly agile. It clung to him relentlessly as he tried to grapple it off of his chest.

Finally, Talair shouted, “Relashio!� and the creature released Severus just long enough for him to raise his own wand and bellow, “Sectumsempra!� The creature let out a loud squeal and then thumped to the ground.

Severus remained motionless for a moment waiting, tensed, for the creature to attack again. He heard steps behind him and remembered that he wasn’t alone. Shakily, he got to his feet and lit his wand tip. He ventured into a small, dark chamber with rough earthen walls. An offensive stench choked him. On the floor, now muddied with the creature’s blood, lay an enormous brown rat staring sightlessly at the intruders, it’s belly split open. A quick but careful glance around the perimeter of the room told Severus that the room was otherwise empty. He staggered back into the snow and fought to keep the contents of his stomach contained.

“What the blazes…� Talair questioned with a disgusted expression on her face.

“A guardian – arranged to be summoned as soon as anyone stumbles upon the entrance, I would guess; I assume that the other entrances will be similarly protected. Let’s hope that this was the worst, although I doubt it.�

“Well, if the cairn is so well guarded, maybe that means we’re in the right place.�

Severus had thought precisely the same thing, just a moment earlier. “Are you ready to proceed then? If you don’t want to…� He wouldn’t ask her to risk her own skin to help him. He wasn’t even comfortable admitting that he needed help.

“Let’s go.� She was already heading to the rear section of the mound. He wondered how she knew where to go next.

It was easier this time for Severus to sense the doorway. He soon discovered that it was not sealed or locked in any way. This fact disturbed Severus; it couldn’t be a good sign. He pushed the door open, but stayed back, waiting to see if anything would expose itself. Nothing came and the room was still. Not wishing to take any chances, he conjured a small ball of flame and directed it into the chamber. In one corner of the room, he could barely recognize the shape of a smallish chest. He signaled to Talair who was merely inches behind him and she nodded in understanding. He entered, wand held aloft, and approached the box.

He turned to her before opening it. “I believe that the artifact may be in this box, but I’m sure that some sort of trap has probably been set on it, so stand clear. And, don’t try to be a hero. Save yourself, if it comes to that. I would.�

She fixed him with an angry glare, but didn’t respond. Better that she’s angry than to have another death on my head, he thought wryly.

He inched toward the chest. It was rather plain and small, brown with tarnished bronze trim. He tapped the chest with his wand and it opened, again, too easily. A sliver of brilliant green light seeped through the opening and Severus felt his excitement grow. When it was open enough for him to reach his hand in, he did so. He couldn’t see inside, but he was sure that his quest was at an end.

His hand connected with a cold, gelatinous substance. He reached in further, but could not find the bottom of the coffer. The light shone brighter, to the point of being blinding, but Severus did not pull away. His arm was sunk in up to the elbow, but still he felt nothing but sludge. Swallowing an emerging sensation of despair, he started to pull back, thinking that there must be some trick to gaining the contents of this receptacle.

The room became a blur, only the green light remained…He called out for Talair and realized that she was gone and that he was alone…Gradually the light dimmed and he regained his sight. Still kneeling, he was in a gloomy, dirty room. Even with the curtains drawn open and the sun streaming in, there was despondency in this place. Severus recognized it almost immediately…

From his left, a hunched, lank-haired woman rushed in cupping her hands over her face. Severus could hear nothing; it was as if he’d fallen deaf, but he could see that his mother was sobbing harshly. Mere seconds later, a stocky man stormed in after her. He appeared to be shouting as he brandished his fists at her. She tried to retreat, but there was nowhere to go, unless she chose to make an attempt at dodging past him. She was visibly terrified. Severus longed and strained to help her, but was as immovable as a statue.

Severus’ father closed on her and one fist connected with her head, knocking her hands away. Bruises across her face revealed that this was not his first strike. He grabbed her by the shoulders and began to shake her. She tried to pull away, but did not have the strength, or possibly she no longer had the will.

Suddenly, a small boy ran up behind the man and pummeled him with tiny fists, his dirty face soaked with tears. Severus recognized himself as a boy.
His father rounded on the Young Severus and sent him flying across the room with one blow. The child seemed dazed and perhaps had gotten the wind knocked out of him, but he still struggled to aid his mother, who was once again under attack… The room blurred again, then cleared…He was in the same empty room…from his left, a hunched, lank-haired woman rushed in…

Again and again and again, Severus watched impotently as his child-self tried to intervene between his mother’s maltreatment and his father’s rage. Suddenly, he felt himself lifted and propelled through the air. He lay in the snow. Unsure what was happening, he hesitantly moved his hand to his face; it was wet.

He looked around slowly and saw that he was back outside the burial mound. The wind still howled and the sun continued to shine. Talair stood at the entrance, breathing heavily.

“Are you alright?� She asked shakily. “What happened to you in there? One minute you were reaching into the box, the next minute you went rigid and catatonic. I tried to bring you out of it, but then I realized that it was that light and so I tried to close the box, but it wouldn’t budge. So I got you out of there as fast as I could and once you had your hand freed, the box shut on its own.� She had gone pale and was now kneeling in the snow beside him.

“I’m not sure what happened. I was unable to move and I was forced to witness a memory…no, it was more of a composite of several memories all rolled into one. I couldn’t do anything but sit and watch. They were memories of…weakness. And, the longer I watched, I felt weaker and more…apathetic. I stopped caring what was happening. I became numb…� He couldn’t look at Talair and refused to say any more, although a part of him wanted to share the burden of the experience.

There was one door remaining, but Severus felt very apprehensive about what he would find there. It seemed that Talair was thinking along the same lines as he was. “Severus, are you sure that you want to continue this today? I’d certainly not argue against leaving.�

“No, there is still one entrance left. It has to be there. Don’t feel obligated to stay on my account. You’ve done more than necessary already, and I thank you for it, but I have no idea…I would not think any worse of you if you chose to leave now.�

“Is it even possible for you to think any worse of me?�

This statement took Severus aback until he noticed a subtle curl at the corner of her mouth. How was it that this odd woman could joke in the midst of such peril? Moreover, why did he feel compelled to respond in a way that would not offend her? Obviously, it must have something to do with the fact that she had just saved his mind from certain collapse, but he had a churning reaction deep in the pit of his stomach that suggested there was more to it than that; if he made it away from this tomb intact, maybe he’d give it some more thought.

“There is no good way to answer that. Suffice it to say that I could actually think much worse of you.�

“I’ll take that in the good sense, then. Well, if you’re committed, let’s continue on. I have a strong feeling that it’s impossible for one person to do this alone.�

Severus nodded solemnly and they walked side by side to the next entrance. Within moments Severus found the outline of the doorway and determined that it was simply locked and not magically sealed. He gently drew Talair behind him and whispered, “Ready?� From the corner of his eye he saw her raise her wand in reply.

In a low, steady voice he uttered, “Alohamora.� The door creaked inward. He stepped to the threshold and peeked in. Without warning he was grabbed by the front of his cloak and tossed across the chamber. A loud roar told him that the previous two guardians were not the going to be the worst he would have to face.

A ball of fire came into the chamber from Talair’s direction. Once the room was lit, he saw a hulking seven-foot figure preparing to charge toward him. Its skin was a deathly black, as if it had been charred. It had scattered patches of hair sprouting across its flaky scalp. The creature was slack jawed, angry and heading right in Severus’ direction at a terrifying speed.

He scrambled to get to his feet, but not fast enough. The creature grabbed him again, lifting him from the ground by his throat. It howled in his face again and Severus could see rotting, black teeth lining its gums. There were no pupils in the alabaster white eyes.

When he was thrown, Severus had lost his grip on his wand, which now lay several feet away from him. Lacking air, he found it too hard to concentrate enough to attempt a wandless spell. He thought that all may be lost, but in the next instant, Talair hurled herself at the beast, causing it to loosen its grip just enough for Severus to breathe. He choked out, “Accio wand,� and it flew back into his hand.

Severus whipped his head around, searching for his companion who was now in the monster’s clutches. It lobbed her toward the wall, but before Severus could react she twisted her body and her feet connected with the wall instead of her head. She landed with a heavy thud and looked dazed.

While the creature’s attention was on Talair, Severus had moments to rifle through his memories. In his mind’s eye, he could see the description in Magical Monsters: One Thousand Reasons to Avoid Them…

Draugr: an undead Viking usually guarding treasure contained within its burial mound. They cannot be defeated with weapons, but usually takes someone of incredible strength to best them. Their heads must be severed and the bodies burnt in order to be destroyed.

Severus was in no way physically strong enough to grapple with it. If they couldn’t use weapons, how could he and Talair possibly get out of this chamber alive?

A loud growl, brought Severus’ attention back to the chamber; Talair was slouched in a corner with her eyes closed. Severus allowed his fear to transform to anger. He raised his wand steadily and shouted, “Levicorpus!� The Draugr was swept into the air by its ankle, thrashing about, enraged. Now that he had bought himself a few moments to think, Severus needed to figure out how to decapitate the creature. He would not be able to get close enough without risking injury from its flailing arms.

“Diffindo!� The severing charm ricocheted off of the creature to the chamber wall, and a green light smashed into the ceiling releasing a spray of debris.

“Stupefy!� The spell hit, but seemed to be absorbed by the monster’s flesh and only succeeded in angering it even more.

“Petrificus Totalus!� Severus yelled the spell in frustration and was relieved to see signs of invisible ropes snaking around the Draugr’s body: its arms stuck to its sides, its legs snapped together and it writhed in the air. The Draugr shouldn’t have been able to move at all, but was still struggling considerably. Convinced that he had only moments before it broke free of its bonds, Severus conjured a wire garrote around the inverted Draugr’s neck. He swiftly approached and began to twist the rod. Even with the application of every ounce of physical strength he possessed, he was only able to turn it a few times.

Severus then heard a twang and the garrote went slack in his hands; at the same time the Draugr broke free of the body bind, turned and grabbed Severus by the neck again. Severus grabbed the thing’s hands in his, struggling to loosen its viselike grip. He gnashed his teeth as he again fought for oxygen, but the lack of it soon weakened him. He felt his strength falter; this was certainly not the way he wanted to die.

The Draugr shook Severus like a shark with its prey between its teeth. Feeling dizzy, Severus barely caught a glimpse of Talair struggling to her feet. She raised her wand and croaked, “Engorgio!� Severus felt his body began to enlarge and stretch. The Draugr lost its hold and Severus found that he had grown even larger than the mammoth guardian. Filled with a renewed fury, he whirled around to face his foe and grappled with the monster, neither giving ground to the other. He felt like a starving, feral canine scrapping to the death for a morsel of food. In Severus’ case, his quest was momentarily forgotten; this skirmish was strictly for survival. Finally, he succeeded in gaining a grasp of his enemy’s neck and with a desperate wrench, felt the spine crumble beneath his hands.

He slumped forward and shrank himself back to his normal size. He rested his hands on his knees for a moment and then rushed to Talair’s side. She had fainted, but was still breathing. After a few moments, he managed to revive her. The severing charm worked this time; now that it was dead, the Draugr’s head fell to the floor with a dull splat. Talair projected a stream of flames, engulfing it and the body, as Severus searched the chamber.

In a dark corner, wrapped and camouflaged in a filthy rag, was a shining bronze instrument that resembled a small mace. Turquoise inlay spiraled up the handle and a large ruby glowed from the handle’s center. At the base of the handle, a large eagle was meticulously engraved. It was the very object he had been seeking: the Aspergillum of Athena.