JUST A COFFEE AND SOME TOAST PLEASE

Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley were walking along a small alleyway, looking for a cafe to have a slice of toast and a coffee. The previous cafes the trio had seen were shut, or had no coffee, which had put them in a bad way.

"For God's sake. Why the bloodyhell are all the cafe's shut? It's nearly 11,"Harry complained, as he had been doing for the last however many hours.

"Look Harry,"Hermione said sternly. "Stop moaning. It's doing my head in. And if you look over the road, there's a cafe. Looks as if it's only just opened as well. There's no one in. That means there'll be toast, tea, milk, coffee and whatever else in full supply. Okay."

Ron looked on at this in surprise. He had never seen Hermione bite Harry's head off like that.

"So, are we going to go in then," Ron asked, nervously. "What's the point of just standing here? We all need coffee and some breakfast." Together they walked down to the small buisness.

"Walkers cafe. Who the hell would have a name like that? It's crap," Ron commented, as the three of them walked in, Hermione leading the way. They were greeted by a young waitress at the door.

"A table for three over in the corner there. I'll come back in a few minutes to see if your ready to order."

True to her word, she was back, and ready.

"Three coffees and toast for two," Hermione said.

"How would you like your toast?" She asked.

"What do you mean? Like what colour we wanted it?"Harry asked. The waitress nodded. "Golden please. Ron?"

"Same. Golden."

"Would you like white or brown bread?"

"White please." Hermione said.

"What brand of bread? Warbutons, Wonder, Holsum or Sunbeam?"

"Warbutons."

"The blue packet or the orange packet?"

"Orange please." Harry told her.

"Would you like anything on it?" She was quite persistant.

"Butter and marmalade please. Thin layer of both on all the slices of toast. Thanks." It was Hermione who replied.

"What flavour of marmalade? We've got apricot, orange, and lemon."

"Orange please," Harry said, gritting his teeth. He could tell it was going to be a bad day.

"Lemon for me please,"Ron said brightly, feeling quite the contrary to Harry.

"On to the coffee," the waitress told them. "Black or white?"

"Two white, one black,"Hermione replied.

"Would you like cream or milk?" The lady was starting to annoy Harry and Hermione, but food and drink was their main priority.

"Milk please," Ron said , his voice still as happy as ever.

"Semi-skimmed, skimmed, full, dry powdered or long life?"

"Long life," said the boys in unison.

"Would you like your coffee instant, fresh ground or filtered?"

"Instant please."

"Would you like Kenco, Folger, Georgia, Javana Coffee, Bella Luna or Ticafe?"

"Kenco please,"Ron replied. Even he was beginning to get fed up.

"Normal or decaffeinated."

"Normal please," Hermione said, trying to keep her voice patient.

"Classic Blend, Caffe Crema, Espresso, Really Smooth, Rappor, Westminster, Colombian, Gold Blend, Really Smooth Gold Blend, Gold Blend 46, Really Smooth Gold Blend 46 or Kenyan," the lady asked.

"One Kenyan, one Colombian and one Really Smooth Gold Blend 46 please?" asked Harry.

"No problem," she said. "Now. Would you like sugar?"

Ron still hadn't cottened on to the fact that if he said yes, it would probably take another hour and a half of questioning to get them their toast and coffee.

"No." Harry replied. Hermione said no as well but Ron said yes.

"Well done Ron,"Harry applauded sarcastically.

"Don't do that. It's not very nice. Now, Ron. Would you like white, brown, sweeteners or demerara sugar."

`The waitress is sticking up for someone she barely knows,' Harry thought. 'Unbelievable.'

"White please."

"Sugar lumps, powdered sugar or sugar grains?"

"The last one."

"Which brand? Zucker, Imperial Sugar, Siucra McKinney's, Sweet Thing or Mother's Pride?"

"Imperial Sugar,"Ron said, yawning.

"How many teaspoons?"

"Two please."

"I'll go and get your food and drinks." And then she left for the kitchen.

"Thank God for that. I'm surprised she didn't ask us about my life story to be honest. That would have been a right laugh. 'My parents were killed by the most evil wizard of all time. When I was 11 I went to Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.' Pah."

A few minute later the annoying waitress came back.

"Here are two white coffees, one black coffee and eight slices of toast."

"EIGHT!"Harry exclaimed. "How the hell are we going to manage to eat all them?"

"Four each. You asked for it for two."

Harry took a small bite out of the toast and immeadiately spat it out.

"THE BREAD IS STALE!"

Hermione took a small sip of her black coffee and did the same as Harry.

"THE COFFEE IS DISGUSTING!" she bellowed at the top of her voice.

Ron took a sip of his coffee, hoping for better luck than the other two.

"THE MILK IS SOUR!" he yelled. The three of them stood up and marched out of the cafe.

The waitress turned around just in time to see them cross the road.

"Humph! You just can't satisfy some customers these days."