DISCLAIMER: All of these wonderful characters belong to JK Rowling. I just invited them to come out and play. And they did!

Chapter 1 - The Show Begins

On most Sunday afternoons, Hogwarts students usually were spread out about the castle and the grounds. Some would be studying, others walking about and talking with friends, and a few tired souls would be napping. On this Sunday in mid-June of 1997, most Hogwarts students are sitting in the Great Hall, quietly chatting about the myriad of things students always chat about (but most particularly the other sex), waiting for a wireless programme to start.

Professor Sinestra arises from her seat at the staff table and the students’ conversations cease. She points her wand at each of the four wireless sets positioned about the Great Hall, bringing the sets to life.

Music swells throughout the room and an announcer begins to speak...

ANNOUNCER: Live, from London, the Wireless Wizarding Network is proud to present this week’s edition of “This Is Your Life.” Today we bring you a special edition that is sponsored solely by the nation’s new sensation, Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes! And, the owners of Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes, Fred and George Weasley, have given our regular host, Gregory Gentry, the week off. They will be...

FRED: Doing the hosting duties ourselves!

GEORGE: In fact, mate, we won’t be needing your services either, so go on home.

FRED: You’ve got the day off with full pay.

ANNOUNCER: Thanks, gents! The mic’s all yours!

GEORGE: So, folks, welcome to the show where you’ll be getting the full story on our special guest...

FRED: Who’s gone by many names, like The Chosen One...

GEORGE: Or The Boy Who Lived, but in the Weasley home and at Hogwarts we know him just as...

FRED & GEORGE: Harry Potter!

[The music swells again as footsteps are heard approaching the microphone. The studio audience begins to applaud loudly.]

FRED & GEORGE: Harry Potter--This Is Your Life!

HARRY: Fred, George, I promise I’ll get you guys for this!

GEORGE: [laughing] We’re sure you will, mate, but today we get to explore your past and share it with thousands of listeners across the nation.

FRED: And we’re going to start with the part of your life that’s a mystery to most of wizarding society, the ten years that you lived with your Muggle relatives. Here’s our first mystery guest on the mic in the Guest Room.

MALE VOICE: [Screams] Don’t point that thing at me!

ANOTHER MALE VOICE: [Whispering] Calm down, you great prat. That’s just a microphone!

HARRY: [Laughing] That’s got to be my cousin, Dudley Dursley.

GEORGE: It certainly is! Bring him out!

[The studio audience politely claps for Dudley as he walks up to the on-stage microphone.]

FRED: So, Dudley, what was it like living with Harry?

DUDLEY: It wasn’t what you lot think. Yeah, I treated him like a punching bag and never let him have any fun, but my parents always acted like he was a freak, and I could tell they wanted me to treat him like one, too.

GEORGE: So, Dudley, what’s your favorite memory of Harry?

DUDLEY: To tell you the truth, it was the day my aunt Marge’s bulldog Ripper chased Harry up a tree and kept him there ‘til after midnight!

FRED: And what about you, Harry, what’s your favorite memory of Dudley?

HARRY: I guess it was the day you lot came to take me to the Burrow and to the World Cup. I think it was Fred that dropped the toffees on the floor and Dudley ate one.

FRED: That’s right, mate, that was one of our first products, Ton Tongue Toffees! They’re still a strong seller.

DUDLEY: Hey, that’s right! You idiots could’ve killed me with that. I oughta pound your heads together...

GEORGE: Stupefy!

[Dull thud, audience laughs]

FRED: Well, we’ve heard enough from your cousin. Now for our next mystery guest...

MALE VOICE: All right there, Harry?

HARRY: I’d know that voice anywhere! That’s Hagrid!

GEORGE: Right you are, Harry! Come on in, Hagrid.

[The studio audience claps wildly for Hagrid as he walks up to the on-stage microphone.]

FRED: What’s your favorite memory of Harry, Hagrid?

HAGRID: To tell ya tha truth, ‘twas the night I first met Harry and those great Muggle relatives of his. Tha’ weren’t treatin’ him right, tha’ was sure. I got so angry at them I gave his fat cousin Dudley a special gift for Harry’s birthday -- a pig’s tail to go with tha rest of him.

[The studio audience laughs.]

HARRY: That’s right, my aunt and uncle had to take Dudley to a hospital to get it off after they dropped me off at King’s Cross my first year.

FRED: So Harry, what’s your favorite memory of Hagrid?

HARRY: Well, one of the first times I made a patronus was when I recalled how happy I felt that night when Hagrid came to take me to Hogwarts and told me I was a wizard. On the other hand, I have to really smile when I remember the first time I saw Hagrid all dressed up to go see a lady friend.

HAGRID: Now don’t you go pickin’ on me, Harry. You know Madam Maxime is a right special lady, and... I didn’t mean to say her name!

GEORGE: That’s all right, Hagrid. Your friendship with the Headmistress of Beaux Batons isn’t the LITTLEST secret in the wizarding world. Please join our studio audience, Hagrid.

FRED: Now for our first female guest...

FEMALE VOICE: When I first saw Harry, he was ever so polite, asking me to help him find Platform 9 3/4 and the Hogwarts Express. He was so very thin, dressed in hand-me-down clothes that were much too big for him. It was all I could do not to hug him on the spot.

HARRY: That’s Mrs Weasley, your mum and, if Dumbledore had allowed it, the substitute mother I’d have lived with.

[Audience applauds warmly as she enters.]

GEORGE: Do you have anything else you’d like to tell us about Harry, Mum?

MOLLY WEASLEY: I want to thank you, Harry, for letting me mother you a bit at times, especially during the Tri-Wizard Tournament. It was an honor to sit with the families of the other champions. I’m just glad I missed the first challenge with the dragons!

FRED: Want to add anything, Harry?

HARRY: I’ll never forget the Howler she sent Ron after he and I crashed the old Ford Anglia into the Whomping Willow! [Audience laughs] Honestly, I’d rather the Willow had killed me than to disappoint your mother.

GEORGE: I’d rather face down the Whomping Willow myself, mate.

FRED: Same here. If you’d join the other guests, Mum, we’ll have another female guest now.

FEMALE VOICE: The first time I saw Harry, I knew who he was because I’d already read all about him.

HARRY: That’s my favorite bookworm and the brightest witch of her age anywhere in the wizarding world, Hermione Granger!

GEORGE: And she’s the only prefect, besides Percy, who ever was smart enough to threaten me and Fred with a letter to our mum! Come on in, Hermione.

[Not only does the studio audience clap loudly for Hermione as she walks up to the on-stage microphone, there is also some appreciative male whistling.]

FRED: So, what’s your favorite memory of our chum, Hermione?

HERMIONE: I think it was at the Yule Ball during the Tri-Wizard Tournament when I entered the room on Victor Krum’s arm. It was the first time I’d really dressed up, and Ginny had fixed my hair for me. When Harry realized it was me he was staring at, the look on his face was priceless! Of course it took your brother, Ron, at least half an hour to figure out who I was.

GEORGE: And what’s your favorite memory of your gal pal, Harry?

HARRY: I guess it was during the End of Year Feast our second year. Hermione’d been petrified by a basilisk, but Madam Pomfrey fixed her up. When Hermione came rushing into the Great Hall, she ran right up to me and gave me a big hug. ‘Course she only gave Ron a handshake. That’s when I first knew my best mates liked each other more than they could admit to themselves.

HERMIONE: [shrieks] What are you talking about, Harry? Of course I like Ron, just like I like you! You two are my best friends, right?

HARRY, FRED & GEORGE: If you say so, ‘Mione!

FRED: Now if you’ll take your seat, we have a most unusual female guest.

FEMALE VOICE: Harry was the first boy who really took time to visit me in my toilet.

[Audience reaction is mix of gasps, laughs, nervous titters...]

HARRY: I can’t believe you got Moaning Myrtle here!

[The audience claps politely, if nervously.]

MYRTLE: Hello, Harry.

FRED: So, Myrtle, do you have a favorite story about Harry?

MYRTLE: Yes. It was the night he came to the Prefect’s bath to figure out the clue hidden in the golden egg. He took it under the water to listen to it, and he spent a lot of time in the pool.

GEORGE: Is that all?

MYRTLE: Well, Harry was so busy listening to the merpeople’s song he never noticed I was also under the water; and Harry was very nice to look at. I just wish I had had a camera.

[Wild laughter from audience is almost drowned out by Harry’s moans and FRED’s and GEORGE’s snickers]

FRED: How about it, Harry? Got anything to say about that?

HARRY: [very quietly] Not a bloody thing.

[Audience continues to laugh for several seconds]

GEORGE: And now for our first commercial break...

In a house far from London, a small, round-shouldered wizard creeps into a room where a dark figure sits. He nervously tells his master about a programme on the wireless, a live programme being broadcast from a well-known studio in London. A live programme where Harry Potter and many of his friends might be found. And perhaps killed.

CHAPTER 2

DISCLAIMER: All of these wonderful characters belong to JK Rowling. I just invited them to come out and play. And they did!

FRED: Welcome back to Harry Potter--This Is Your Life! Our next Mystery Guest really worships you, Harry.

SQUEAKY MALE VOICE: Not only is Harry Potter a great wizard, he is noble, kind, generous, loyal, heroic, brave...

HARRY: [Laughing] That’s Dobby!

GEORGE: Come on in, Dobby.

[Warm applause from audience]

DOBBY: Thank you, sirs. Dobby is happy to see the great Harry Potter again and to tell people how Harry Potter is being so good to Dobby when Dobby is only a house elf.

FRED: What is your favorite memory of Harry, Dobby?

DOBBY: Is Harry Potter setting Dobby free from his old master. And Harry Potter is always giving Dobby more socks. Dobby loves his socks best of all.

GEORGE: What about you, Harry? What’s your favorite memory of Dobby?

HARRY: It was right after I freed Dobby. His old master, Lucius Malfoy, was about to hit me with a curse, but Dobby stopped him with his magic, and sent Malfoy flying down a flight of stairs!

[Audience laughs for full 20 seconds]

FRED: Thank you, Dobby. Please take a seat in the audience.

DOBBY: Dobby sit with great Harry Potter’s friends? But they be witches and wizards! House elfs don’t do that!

HARRY: Dobby, I am ordering you to sit with my friends because YOU are my friend, too.

DOBBY: [voice fades as he moves to a seat by Hermione] Thank you, Harry Potter. You is truly a great wizard.

GEORGE: Now for another female Mystery Guest.

FEMALE VOICE: Now that I think on it, I believe I scared Mr Potter witless that day when I first saw him fly and catch that Remembrall.

HARRY: [Amazed] Wow. That’s Professor McGonagall!

FRED: Yes, the Headmistress of Hogwarts herself! Come on in, Professor.

GEORGE: And thank you for taking time away from your duties to take part in our show.

McGONAGALL: I think we should let the audience know that I agreed to come only after you two promised to make a large donation to St Mungo’s.

[Audience applauds]

FRED: Yes, now, how about your favorite memory of young Mr Potter?

McGONAGALL: That would be each and every time Mr Potter helped Gryffindor see to it that the House Cup and the Quidditch Cup have sat in my office for another year. I so hated knowing those cups were in Professor Snape’s office all those other years.

GEORGE: How about you, Harry?

HARRY: Well, I’d say any of the few few times when I’ve seen Professor McGonagall actually smile!

[Everyone laughs hard, except perhaps Professor McGonagall]

FRED: Okay, Professor, please join the others in the audience. It’s time for another Mystery Guest.

MALE VOICE: Harry has helped me overcome a lot of fears, to become the sort of man my grandmother always wanted me to be.

HARRY: I know that voice, that’s my friend, Neville Longbottom.

GEORGE: Yes, it is. Come on in, Neville.

[Audience claps politely, warmly for Neville]

FRED: Do you have a favorite memory for us?

NEVILLE: Yes, though it’s also a painful one. [Harry looks concerned, probably thinking about Neville’s parents] You see, Harry told me that I was really better than Draco Malfoy, that I was worth twelve of him. Not too long after that, Ron and I got into a tussle with Malfoy and his mates. I ended up taking on both Crabbe and Goyle and got myself conked but good!

[Audience laughs sympathetically]

GEORGE: What about you, Harry?

HARRY: The funniest thing I’ve ever seen was what Neville’s boggart looked like when he was through with it--we ended up seeing a boggart Snape wearing Neville’s grandmother’s outfit.

[Audience laughs very loudly, but not loudly enough to cover an outraged shriek from what must be Neville’s grandmother because he looks ready to run.]

NEVILLE: [His voice fades as he walks into audience] Sorry, Gran, but it was Professor Lupin’s idea...

FRED: Now for another female Mystery Guest.

FEMALE VOICE: Since my cousin was your godfather, are we almost related?

HARRY: I know that voice, it’s my favorite auror, Tonks!

TONKS: Wotcher, Harry?

GEORGE: Welcome to the show, Tonks. Do you have a favorite memory of Harry to share?

TONKS: That’d be the night I first met him at his Muggle relatives’ house. It was an unnaturally clean place except for Harry’s bedroom. I went up there to help ‘im pack, and it was the only room that felt like a real person lived in it.

HARRY: I’ll never forget flying from there that night.

TONKS: Nor will I. I’ve never been so cold on a broomstick before, and I was about ready to curse Mad-Eye for wanting to fly around more in case we were being followed. All we needed to do to find out if we were being followed was to listen for chattering teeth!

[Audience laughs.]

FRED: How about you, Harry? Do you have anything to tell us about Tonks?

HARRY: Here’s something she’ll like -- the night she came to Privet Drive she had led the Dursleys away by sending them a letter telling them that they were short-listed for the All-England Best Kept Garden or some such thing. Would you believe they never figured out it was a trick? When they couldn’t find the address Tonks put on the letter, Aunt Petunia started shouting at Uncle Vernon that it was his fault they couldn’t find the place, then he started shouting that it was her fault because she couldn’t read a map correctly, then she said he was too proud to stop and ask directions at a petrol station...

[Audience laughs.]

HARRY: Dudley said it went on for what felt like hours before they gave up and went home. And to top it all off, they didn’t notice I was gone until the next morning.

GEORGE: Please join our other guests in the audience, Tonks.

FRED: We’ve time for just one more guest before our next break, and here she is!

FEMALE VOICE: [Singing] His eyes are as green as a fresh, pickled toad.

HARRY: Ginny Weasley! Come on out here!

GINNY: [Audience laughs as she walks out] Giving orders, Potter? Maybe I should demonstrate my bat bogey hex on you.

GEORGE: Please don’t, Ginny. Besides, this isn’t the Muggle telly. Just tell us a good story on Harry.

GINNY: Hmmm. Maybe I should tell everyone about what you two and Harry did at Bill’s and Fleur’s wedding reception?

[Harry laughs while the twins make hushing signs and shake their heads at Ginny]

GINNY: That’s right, Mum doesn’t know that you were the ones that hexed the bouquet so it would go to Hermione. [The twins relax] Or that the two of you put a set of Extendable Ears in the honeymoon cottage. [The twins panic, Molly Weasley, Bill, and Fleur are heard shrieking and shouting at them from in the audience]

HARRY: [Shouting over pandemonium in studio] I think we’re going to a commercial now! We’ll be back in a few minutes!

That house far from London is now a very busy place with dozens of dark figures dashing about, looking for potions, putting on their masks, preparing for a mission. Some are whispering about what they’ve heard on the wireless programme, what Lucius Malfoy has been saying he wants to do to Potter before the Dark Lord kills him. They are very busy, but none could be said to be happy. They fully expect things to go badly. They always do when the Potter kid is involved. They always do when their Master is angry. Someone’s going to be hurt, someone’s going to die, and each of them knows it could be him.

CHAPTER 3 - The Show Ends

DISCLAIMER: All of these wonderful characters belong to JK Rowling. I just invited them to come out and play. And they did!

RON: Is this thing working? Blimey! Hello, everyone. This is Ron Weasley...

HARRY: And Harry Potter.

RON: Since George and Fred are busy pleading for their lives, we’re going to take over and try to finish the show. Errr...

HARRY: What is it, Ron?

RON: I was supposed to be the next Mystery Guest!

HARRY: Well, why don’t you go ahead and tell everyone what your favorite memory involving me is?

RON: OK. That’s easy. It was Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret!

[Audience roars with laughter]

HARRY: I’ll never forget that one! Malfoy made the mistake of trying to hex me from behind my back in front of Professor Moody.

RON: Yeah. At least we thought he was Moody, not an impostor using Poly-Juice Potion. But Malfoy certainly made a nice ferret!

What’s your favorite memory involving me?

HARRY: That would be from our first year when you saved Hermione and me.

RON: When was that?

HARRY: Don’t you remember the mountain troll in the girls’ bathroom? All I managed to do was run my wand up its nose. You were the one who conked it with its own club! You were the hero that night, mate.

RON: [Audience laughs because Ron is blushing] Oh. I guess I did. Anyway, it’s time for our next Mystery Guest.

FEMALE VOICE: I made a point of checking my records. Mr Potter has come more times into hospital than any other student I’ve tended to.

HARRY: That’s got to be Madam Pomfrey!

RON: Spot on, Harry. Please come out, Madam Pomfrey.

[Warm applause from the audience]

RON: Tell me, do you have any particular memory of Harry you’d like to share?

POMFREY: Well, there was that night Sirius Black had been caught. At first, Mr Potter was behaving like he always does, wanting to be up and about, doing those dangerous things that bring him back to me to patch him up. Yet not ten minutes had passed when he was as polite and meek as you please while the Minister of Magic and Professor Snape were shouting and acting far more outrageously than any student ever did.

RON: How about it, Harry?

HARRY: Well, I’ve always appreciated Madam Pomfrey’s care, but what I would like to thank her for today was her letting us visit and talk to Hermione while she was petrified. We knew she cared for us as patients, but that showed me she also cared for us as people.

RON: Thank you, Madam Pomfrey. Please be seated with the audience.

[Again there is warm applause as she takes her seat.]

HARRY: So, let’s hear the next Mystery Guest.

MALE VOICE: Harry looks very much like his father, but there is much about the way he treats people that reminds me more of his mother, Lily.

HARRY: Thank you, Professor Lupin. Please come on in.

[Again, there is very warm applause]

RON: What’s your favorite memory of Harry, Professor?

LUPIN: It was during a Quidditch match with Ravenclaw when some foolish Slytherins came onto the pitch dressed as dementors. Harry shot a Patronus at them that flattened them and trapped them in their costumes. Of course they all got detentions.

[Audience laughs, but the laughter is interrupted by multiple bangs and shrieks]

HARRY: [Shouting] Now, everyone! Do it!

HARRY, RON, LUPIN, & AUDIENCE: Defendo Familia!

[A high, thin laugh grows louder and louder as someone approaches the microphone. Harry gasps with pain and falls to his knees.]

VOLDEMORT: Surprised, Harry? I’m here to make my favorite memory of you--your death!

HARRY: [Shaking] Don’t count on it, Voldemort.

VOLDEMORT: Why shouldn’t I. You can’t even stand in my presence, thanks to that painful scar. But you can watch as my Death Eaters kill everyone you love, everyone who’s been so thoughtfully brought together in one spot for me!

RON: It doesn’t look that way to me.

VOLDEMORT: Silence, boy! But, what is this?

[Voldemort looks around the room and realizes that his Death Eaters haven’t accomplished their assigned duties. They are firing hexes at the audience, but those spells are bouncing off a translucent, golden, glowing shield and hitting objects in the room. Some spells are hitting his Death Eaters, reducing their numbers.]

VOLDEMORT: What have you done, Potter?

HARRY: [Stands up and grins] I’ve lured you into a trap. There are fifty aurors around this building, combining their strength to raise an anti-apparition shield to keep even you from leaving. Those that I love, my family, have raised a shield over themselves and my friends up here that even the Killing Curse cannot penetrate. As for me, I was acting, pretending that my scar disabled me.

VOLDEMORT: Impossible!

HARRY: [Laughing] Really? Take a good look at Snape.

[Severus Snape is the only Death Eater not shooting curses at the audience. He is much too busy, running, leaping, diving, desperately avoiding the curses bouncing off their shield. The other Death Eaters, one by one, are falling to their own curses.]

HARRY: My friends have yet to fire a curse at your followers, yet over half of those idiots have fallen to their own stupidity. We’ll have no problem rounding up those that survive.

VOLDEMORT: [Shrieks loudly] NO! THIS ENDS HERE AND NOW. CRUCIO!

[Voldemort’s wand squawks loudly and turns into a rubber chicken. Fred and George Weasley give each other a high five and then bow to Dobby. Dobby hands Voldemort’s wand to George, who then hands it to Mr Ollivander and Professor Flitwick.]

HARRY: Sorry, Tom Riddle, but it really does end here. A mere house elf has dared to help me by replacing your wand with a fake one.

HARRY, RON, & LUPIN: Petrificus Totallus!

[Voldemort falls to the floor. Lupin uses his wand to tie Voldemort with ropes jinxed to prevent apparition. Harry looks over to Professor Flitwick who is giving a “thumbs up” signal to Harry and handing Voldemort’s wand to Hagrid. Harry then squats down where Voldemort can see him.]

HARRY: I see you’ve landed where you can see Hagrid, who wants to show you something.

HAGRID: Did’ja know ‘twas fifty-five years ago today that yuh testified to th’ Wizengamot that I was th’ one settin’ a monster on students at Hogwarts? That was th’ day they broke my wand. Like this! [Hagrid snaps Voldemort’s wand.] I owed yuh that, Tom Riddle!

HARRY: Now, Tom, I need to bring you up do date on a few things. You see, this year, when I chose to return to Hogwarts, I made a point of acting my age. I had turned seventeen and had some adventures while I looked for your Horcruxes.

That’s right, Dumbledore and I figured out you’d created six of them. And after I wasted two months trying to find them myself over the hols, I got smart and went to Professors McGonagall, Sprout, Slughorn, and Flitwick.

Between them, they came up with the spell my family and I cast, Defendo Familia. That means, “protect the family.” Being a group spell cast by people of one heart and one mind, it creates a shield no spell can penetrate. And Madam Pomfrey and Professors Lupin and Slughorn came up with the potion that allows me to tolerate the pain from the scar.

[As Harry speaks a large snake is working its way around the studio, heading to a point behind Harry]

HARRY: They also came up with some other charms, like the one that leads me to Horcruxes. That allowed me to find and identify the remaining four Horcruxes you had made. I know that you knew I’d destroyed the diary. You might have heard that Professor Dumbledore nearly died destroying Slytherin’s ring. Since then I’ve destroyed Slytherin’s locket which Regulus Black had removed from the cave you hid it in and left it in the Black mansion. That’s three. I also tracked down Helga Hufflepuff’s cup and Rowena Ravenclaw’s hair brush. That accounts for the first five Horcruxes you made.

[The snake continues silently slithering across the floor and rises in a shadow behind Harry]

HARRY: Then there’s the matter of the sixth one you knowingly made: Nagini.

[Harry suddenly stands, pulls a sword from his robes, spins about and slices off Nagini’s head]

HARRY: I practiced that move for months, Tom. And please note that I wasn’t harmed. Had any of my friends killed Nagini, they surely would have died. I didn’t because of this lovely scar you gave me when you tried to kill me and make me into a Horcrux.

It isn’t a normal scar, you know. Haven’t you ever wondered why it was the scar caused me pain whenever you were near? Or how exactly it was that we were able to feel each other’s emotions? Or know what the other was thinking? Or, in your case, to give me false images to lead me into a trap?

This scar IS a Horcrux, one you unwittingly made when you tried to kill me. At this point it contains the fragments of your soul that you put into all the others, except the one you put into the ring. It’s always been a burden, and sometimes a blessing, all my life. I’m tired of it. You can have it back.

[Harry points his wand first at his scar, then at Voldemort] Reverto Horcruxes!

[Despite his induced paralysis, Voldemort screams as the accumulated souls return to him in a beam of light coming from Harry’s forehead. He then tries to rise, but fails. Harry walks around him.]

HARRY: Weak, aren’t you. You’ve been poisoned. No, not with a physical poison, but with all the love I’ve ever felt. Except for the fragment from Nagini, all of the others have been immersed in all the love I’ve felt since I learned I was a wizard, came to Hogwarts, and started making real friends. The Weasleys, Hermione, Neville, Ginny, so many of the students, Dumbledore, the other professors... they all loved me in their own ways. Those that still live are all here today in the audience. They empowered me. And those fragments I returned are full of love.

How does it feel?

VOLDEMORT: [Weakly, gasping for breath] It’s impossible. Hate is stronger than love. Hate rules the world. I learned that in the orphanage and nothing I experienced in my life refutes that!

HARRY: So you’re still rejecting all that love that’s now embedded in your soul?

VOLDEMORT: [More weakly] Yes. I have to.

HARRY: [Nodding] Everyone told me you would. So, you really can’t be redeemed. You lived only for hate. All I can do is tell you goodbye.

[Harry stands and watches as Voldemort breathes his last. He looks around and watches as the aurors remove the last of the Death Eaters. The audience drops their shield. One by one, each of his friends, the people he loves, walks up and hugs Harry or shakes his hand. Ginny kisses his scar-free forehead and whispers something in his ear that makes him blush and smile. All of the audience returns to their seats and Harry goes back to the microphone.]

HARRY: Okay. Tom Riddle, who renamed himself Lord Voldemort, the would-be Dark Lord, is dead. Most of his Death Eaters are dead or captured. It’s over. The show’s over. The hard part of my life is over. Good night.

[Harry looks up to the control booth where a wizard signals that the microphone is off. Harry steps closer to his friends.]

HARRY: Okay. Who’s up for Quidditch?

The End