Chapter 1: Thoughts Decending

The snow was slowly falling from the sky, lightly dancing through the air, and endlessly circling towards the ground. Hermione was staring out of the small foggy window at the snow and the sky slowly becoming darker as time dripped past. She heard a loud thump and jumped slightly. She quickly turned around to see Ron with the large book she had asked him to retrieve for her from the library. Truth was, she could have gotten the book herself. But everything was rapidly turning from bad to worse. Lately, she had been burying herself deep into schoolwork and research to try to get away from the fact that everything was falling apart.

Falling apart.

Everything was descending, descending into Hermione's hell. Thoughts angrily and menacingly swirled through her head these days, taking away her ability to effortlessly accomplish her schoolwork.

The thoughts would say Ron doesn't love you; Ron loves you too much; Things can never be the same; Harry can never make it on his own; You're pulling Harry down; You're leaving Harry with no one; You need to be strong for Harry, with Harry; You will cause someone to die; You will cause Ron to die; You will cause Harry to...

Hermione couldn't take it anymore. She always wanted to be alone. To avoid her boyfriend, Ron, she was constantly sending him on tedious errands. Much to her dismay,and every time adding to her guilt, he can back with that cute, adorable, goofy grin on his face, feeling so proud of himself. He thought he was helping Hermione, he thought he was helping Harry. In fact, there was a pile of dusty books and other materials Hermione had requested Ron retrieve by Hermione's bed. Untouched. They reminded Hermione every night, until her guilty, murderous thoughts made it so she couldn't sleep.

"Hermione?"

She jerked her head up. She had been nodding off, and Ron was kneeling beside the chair she was in, the glow of the warm fire behind him, and the concern was obvious on his face.

"Huh? Yes, yea, Ron very good, very good." She tried to smile, but it just turned into a yawn.

" 'Mione, love, I won't keep getting all these books if you don't sleep," Ron started teasingly, but then his tone became concerned, "You've been so tired all the time, and exams aren't even close! Tell, you what, I'll get you some coffee, and you promise to go to bed tonight?"

Hermione put on the same fake smile and tried to sound pleased, " Sure, Ron, I'd love some coffee, and of course I'll go to bed, you know... can't stop reading sometimes..."

Ron smiled and planted a kiss on her mouth and merrily walked towards the portrait door. She waved as he disappeared behind it.

As soon as he was out of sight, Hermione sighed heavily and leaned back in her chair. She was so tired of this act. Why did she even feel this way? Why was everything suddenly going wrong for her, when her two best friends really needed her?

She was so SICK and TIRED of it!! She angrily jumped up, sending the books, quill and parchment flying from her lap. She stomped over to the window and pressed her forehead on the freezing glass. She screamed, her anger filling her whole body, and frustrate, banged her fists on the glass.

Ron entered the common room, smiling and humming to himself, with two hot mugs, one of hot chocolate for him, the other coffee for Hermione. When he looked up, he didn't see Hermione. His face fell. Maybe she had gotten tired, and went to bed early, he thought. He put the mugs on the small table nearby. He walked towards the boy's dormitory door, and after climbing up the stairs he looked back at the Common room. Someone ought to clean up that mess, he thought as he closed the door and tiptoed to his bed, to get some rest. Most likely to dream of Hermione, his angel sent from heaven. He closed his eyes tightly as he realized that's when they spent the most time together. In their dreams.

Hermione fought at the sharp wind. Her cloak covering her face, all she could see was the dark ground, dimly lit by her wand. She didn't know why she was out here, and she knew if caught, she would receive an earful for being outside of the castle so close to curfew. But there was still some time... and she HAD to get away. Besides, she could easily make up an excuse of having to find an ingredient for an assignment,or extra-credit, something like that.

As she turned around a corner that would hopefully bring her out of the wind, she felt a strong hand grab her into a doorway.

"I was looking for something, for an assignment, professor! I'm truly sorry! It isn't curfew yet, is it? I promise I'll do it earlier, next time, It just..." The person had swiped her hood down and she could now see who it was.

"It just slipped your mind?" Harry smiled, knowingly. "Hermione, you weren't really looking for anything, were you?"

Hermione blushed. "No, It just feels like there's too much... Just, you know, had to get away."

"What a coincidence," Harry said without smiling.

They were in a courtyard on the other side of the castle, sheltered from most of the harsh wind and cold, but the snow was still slowly falling around them. Harry went and sat on a bench, Hermione followed.

"Care to explain?" Harry asked.

Hermione looked at him carefully. Whether trying to decide how to explain , or how to say it, Harry knew she was going to edit some out. Any part pertaining to him, he knew.

"C'mon, Hermione, I want to hear all of what's bothering you, not just what's obvious, or what's bothering all of us. "

This caught Hermione unexpectedly. She looked down at the ground.

"There's so much, it would probably take forever and a day to explain it, and a thousand analysts to explain it." she concluded somberly.

"Fine, I'll guess, then. You think no one feels the same, You fear for your friends lives, you are depressed, you can't sleep, and you're avoiding people, especially Ron because you can't stand them and you don't know why. " He had recited this list while looking into the sky and now glanced back at Hermione.

Hermione was just staring. Then she looked away, then back, bit her lips, then finally nodded.

"Yea, " she finally said, "yes. That's exactly how I feel."

"That didn't take forever and a day..."

Hermione lunged. She was on top of Harry in a split second. Harry couldn't possibly have finished his sentence, because his mouth was a bit preoccupied for the moment.

Hermione had captured him in a bruising kiss. A kiss full of want, a kiss full of desire, a kiss full of need, a kiss full of hate, a kiss full of love. The kiss had every emotion that had run through Hermione all that week, that month, that year. She had wanted this kiss since the first time Hermione had seen Harry, on the train that day... The desire had grown until the fourth year, but then, she when she realized Ron would be easier to obtain, and keep, she settled on him. Things had been going well... until now. Now everything was closing in on her, and she was kissing Harry Potter, while her boyfriend was probably sleeping, drool hanging out of his mouth. But back getting to the current moment, Hermione envisioned herself as they were now, her straddled top Harry on a bench on a snowy courtyard. It sounded like something that would never happen to Hermione Granger. Yet, it was happening this very moment.

They finally broke apart, Hermione unwillingly. Harry tried to get up, but he was weighed down by Hermione and very well didn't want to throw her on the ground.

"Hermione! I will not let you do this! You're only doing this because you're mad at Ron and you want to get back at him!"

Hermione looked away. She had felt exhilarated, happy for the first time in a long time when they were kissing. but now, Harry had popped it like a cheap balloon.

"But-Harry, It's not just because of..."

Harry turned her face to look at her. He looked into her eyes, he looked so hard, Hermione wanted to pull away so much, but she just couldn't. Not now. The moment seemed to drag on forever, as if it would never end. Harry trying to read Hermione, and very much accomplishing so. Occulemency came in handy sometimes, in fact, this was the second time tonight.

*****
Hermione tiptoed into her bed that night, and she finally fell asleep as her head touched the pillow. For the first time in that whole semester, she fell asleep quickly and peacefully.

Harry, on the other hand, was still off, wandering the castle. He walked down a long, dark corridor. He was headed in the direction of the dungeons, with a look of confidence and certainty in his face.

Harry continued down the corridor at a brisk pace, his robes billowing behind him. He suddenly stopped, and a mischievous smile spread across his face. He turned into another dark doorway, seemingly waiting. But waiting for what?

He suddenly reached out his hand at the seemingly thin air.

"Ooff!", exclaimed the thin air.

"What are you doing out here?" Harry asked, trying to seem bored. " You know you could get caught, and cause a big commotion and worry." Harry couldn't help but let a small smile slip.

"I was hoping to find you," began the ripple in the air sheepishly, "but It seems you found me first. You always spoil the fun, Potter."

Harry chuckled. Harry pulled his invisibility cloak off the other wizard. He smiled. He laced his fingers into the blonde's and they continued down the dimly lit corridor. Harry wouldn't be kept awake tonight either.

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Thanks for reading. This is my first fic and it was a challenge a friend asked me to do. Please review and tell me what you think. Thanks!