CHAPTER 1






“Oh, Merlin!” Tonks muttered furiously as she managed to overturn her pot of boiling noodles.



She sat down heavily on a nearby kitchen chair and exasperatedly ran a hand through her short, spiky hair. It was all just too much.



Two days ago the battle in the Department of Mysteries had taken place. The battle that had unkindly jerked the wizarding world out from its deceptive peace. Since she had been away for most hours of the day, her house had managed to become exuberantly messy. Cloaks were thrown unceremoniously on the floor and the backs of chairs, reports were strewn across every table, and plates were piled high in the sink.



Tonks sighed as her thoughts strayed back to that night. She’d hardly been able to forget it since.



She hadn’t been old enough to be close to Sirius before he went away to Azkaban, but in the two years that he’d been on the run, she had grown quite fond of her rebellious cousin. She’d spent most of her time at Grimmauld Place last year since she hadn’t had anything better to do. She and Sirius had stayed up late sharing stories on most nights and she had eventually become very attached to him.



When she had seen him fall slowly through that tattered veil and not appear on the other side she’d known that something had gone terribly wrong. The shock of witnessing her closest relative and best friend’s death cost her attention in a duel which resulted in an elongated stay at St. Mungo’s. After the battle at the Ministry Sirius hadn’t come back. He just wasn’t there and she didn’t know what to do about it.



Who was she going to share late night stories of Hogwarts adventures with? Who was going to be there when she didn’t know what to do next? How was she going to get over not staying up late with a cup of tea and Ogden‘s Old Firewhiskey with the closest thing to a brother she had?



As she thought of the laughs and memories she had shared with Sirius her eyes began to sting. Tonks, stop. You can’t keep crying, it won’t help.



She swiped angrily at the tear trails that ran down her cheeks and kicked herself mentally. Why can’t I just think about other things that aren’t so depressing?



She was jerked out of her morose thoughts by a light tap on the window. She glanced over and saw a small tawny owl hovering outside. She rushed over to towards it, tripped on the corner of the rug, and opened the window hastily. The owl swooped in, dropped the letter on the table and flew back out.



Tonks turned to retrieve the letter, careful to avoid the rug this time. When she picked up the parchment-coloured envelope, she saw the navy blue Order of the Phoenix seal on the back. She quickly opened it.



Dear Tonks,



I hope you get this in time, but Dumbledore has called a meeting today at five o’clock. You can stay after for dinner if you would like, dear, we have plenty of room.



Molly Weasley



Tonks smiled at the woman’s warmness and glanced at the clock above the stove. 4:30. I haven’t got enough time to eat anyway.



In the two short days since the battle there had been a Order meeting, many Death Eaters had been captured, and Tonks had always managed to be in the office. The Order had been working overtime in covering Sirius’ death, as well as keeping watch out for any suspicious activity.



Each member of the Order had a specific assignment to do and at this point in time Tonks was part of the guard on the Dursley’s house. She and four other Order members were stationed there, so every so often she got a break. She was quite glad that she hadn’t been assigned to Death Eater tracking right now because frankly, she didn’t think she could deal with it.



She looked over at her upturned pot of noodles and sighed. The boiling water had spilt all over the floor and the noodles were in a huge pile atop the counter. “Scourgify,” she muttered weakly, and with a swish of her wand the water and noodles disappeared and the pot went flying across the room.



“Bloody housekeeping spells. Never been able to do them very well,” she muttered angrily at her wand as she stomped over to the pot which was now lying on the floor under her table. She picked it up and placed it carelessly on the counter.



She turned and ambled into her bedroom, where there was a very large amount of confusion happening inside a small space.



Her bedclothes lay haphazardly among piles of robes atop a lopsided mattress. The floor was scattered with a fortnight’s worth of dirty clothing and the bureau’s doors were hanging open, clothes spilling out of it. She grimaced as she stepped over a pile of books and went to pull a clean set of robes off her bed.



I should probably clean this place up. It’s become extremely messy and I’ve hardly even noticed. She concentrated very hard on a spotless room and cried out, “Pack!”



The result was more or less what she hoped for, except instead of just her clothes flying neatly into the bureau, books and pillows did as well. She grumbled about housework spells again as she threw her cloak around her shoulders. Shoving her wand into her back pocket, she walked straight out to the front door.



Her small flat had been charmed so that no one could Apparate or Disapparate in or out. She opened her door, walked down the rickety metal steps, and stopped in front of the boarded up windows of Humphrey’s Fine Jewels. The yellow words were peeling off the wall and there was a superfluity of weeds growing about the place. She smirked and was gone with the blink of an eye.



*



Tonks arrived about a mile away from the Weasleys’ wobbly residence. She needed a while to think, and she did have twenty minutes left until she needed to be there, so she walked.



It was an overcast Sunday afternoon and she marveled at how the weather could match her mood so perfectly. Not only was the weather dreary, but her appearance had also begun to reflect it. Her hair had taken on a dull green colour and her eyes were grey.



The Burrow had been adopted as the Order Headquarters since no one knew who Grimmauld Place belonged to. By hereditary right it was supposed to pass on to Bellatrix Lestrange, but everyone assumed Sirius had passed it to Harry. The house was Unplottable, so it was impossible for Bellatrix to find out where it was, because Dumbledore was the Secret Keeper. The fact still remained that since the owner of the house was deceased, the powers that had gone along with it at that point in time were too. Just to be safe they were not going to go near Grimmauld Place until Sirius’s will had been read, and it had been properly bequeathed to the successor.



Tonks had been wondering and thinking for about ten minutes; she ended up on a bare country road and truly had no idea how to get to The Burrow anyway.



“Might as well just Apparate so Molly doesn’t get her knickers in a twist.” With a small pop! she was gone and a moment later she was standing in front of The Burrow. She slowly opened the door and at once noticed the commotion. There had to be at least thirty people milling about in the small kitchen.



Kingsley Shacklebolt, Mad-Eye Moody, Bill Weasley, Arthur Weasley, Mundungus Fletcher, Albus Dumbledore, and Sturgis Podmore were all sitting around the table laughing and drinking mead. The rest were standing about talking in small groups.



Tonks noticed that Remus looked at her as she walked in the house and a small smile came over his face. She grinned sheepishly at this and searched for Molly Weasley amongst the crowd. She found the petite woman bustling about the kitchen counter with her apron askew and flour smudged across her forehead.



“Anything I can do to help you, Molly?” Tonks asked when Molly stopped moving. Molly jumped and turned to face Tonks.



“Oh, hello, Tonks dear.” She warmly patted the younger woman’s arm and continued, “I think I’m almost finished, thank you though.”



Tonks nodded and moved on. She wasn’t almost finished. She just thinks I’m too clumsy to even pull a pudding out of the cupboard without breaking something.



“Ahem.” Someone tapped a glass with a spoon and everyone began to hush.



“This meeting is in session,” Dumbledore announced. “Is everyone accounted for?”



There was a general murmur of ‘yes’ and he continued, “As you all know the school year is approaching and we have to take extra precautions at Hogwarts. Voldemort will eventually target the two things he most fears: myself and Harry Potter. As we all know, both will be at Hogwarts this upcoming year. The Aurors to be stationed in Hogsmeade are Nymphadora Tonks, Demetrius Proudfoot, Howard Savage, and Neil Dawlish. You four are to keep a wary eye out for anything that seems out of place.



“Now,” he paused and looked at each of them over his half-moon spectacles, “I am placing much of my school’s well-being upon your shoulders. I trust in you to do your very best.” He smiled slightly and addressed a new group.



“Those of you who will be tracking Voldemort and the Death Eaters will be covert. The information I have obtained on this subject shows that there has been extremely little Dark activity in Britain, while there has been much more on the continent. With these facts one can assume that the majority of active Death Eaters, or Voldemort, are somewhere in Europe. I assure you this will be a very trying task but stay optimistic, for this will lead to the weakening of Dark power. On this mission I assign Charlie Weasley, Hestia Jones, Emmeline Vance, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Bill Weasley, and Sturgis Podmore. Once we have more leads relating to Dark activity more will be joining your ranks.



“As for the rest of you, it is your job to keep a close eye and a ready ear out wherever you go. At the Ministry, in Diagon Alley, while visiting Hogsmeade, anywhere. I have future assignments that will be put into action as the war progresses.”



“Are there questions about any of this?” he paused and waited for a voice to sound for a few moments before he clapped his hands together and announced, “With that said, let us enjoy the wonderful dish Molly has prepared for us.” And with a smile and a tilt of his head the meeting was over.



Voices erupted as people caught up with friends they hadn’t seen recently. Tonks sidled over to Remus who was laughing at one of Hestia Jones‘ jokes. Tonks noticed the lines on his face as his eyes crinkled into a smile. There was a large scar across his forehead that must have been the product of his last full moon.



“Hestia!” a voice called across the room. “I’ve been meaning to speak with you about a report you sent in a few weeks ago.” Kingsley appeared with two glasses of mead in his hands. He handed one to Hestia who in turn walked away with him.



Remus and Tonks stared at them as they walked away, before turning to one another.



“How have you been, Remus?”



He looked sadly down into his cup then glanced back up at her. “I think I’m going to be all right,” he said with a crack in his voice. Tonks smiled ruefully back at him and chuckled.



“You know what? He wouldn’t want us to be sad about this. He’d tell us to get on with our lives and fight in his name. It’d be a real pity to make him angry at us, now wouldn’t it?”



Remus grinned at her with admiration in his eyes. “You know, I bet you’re right. He’d curse us to Hell if he knew we just stood around mourning his death. What do you say to a toast?” He smiled and held up his glass. “To Sirius and his ever faithful influence!”



“To Sirius!” Tonks laughed and clinked glasses with her late cousin’s last remaining friend. “Now that we’ve drunk to him, what do you say we eat as well. All the better, he’d be very angry with us if we went without food over this.”



Remus sighed at their fake show of lightheartedness and followed her over to the table. Once everyone was seated, the food was passed around and everyone began to eat. Remus and Tonks sat at the end, next to Dumbledore.



“Remus, I need a quick word with you after we have finished dining,” Dumbledore announced suddenly.



Taken aback by the abrupt address, Remus dropped his fork on the ground and quickly Summoned it back. “Yes, of course, sir.”



Tonks snorted at his reaction before hastily righting herself and continuing to eat. Her cheeks reddened as Dumbledore shifted at her outburst.



All fell silent before Dumbledore spoke again, “I do hope this school year goes smoothly. It would be a shame if the Board of Governors chose to cancel the year after this one.” He frowned at the thought and went back to eating his Yorkshire pudding.



Remus and Tonks quickly glanced at each other. Remus gave her an incredulous look and she struggled to keep a snigger down.



That dinner would be one of the last remaining carefree occasions that would be held and everyone was eerily aware of it. As people spoke they either did so with a forced smile or sad expression on their faces. Once the strained affair had ended each person departed to his or her respective home.



Tonks and Remus meandered outside for a bit before leaving. Together they walked to the end of the



Weasleys’ bumpy dirt road without speaking. Once they reached the worn pavement of the country lane they turned to each other.



“This is it isn’t it?” Tonks asked with a wistful look in her eyes. Remus’ expression was quizzical but she continued. “The last happy place we will be before everything starts falling apart and all we could do was act false?”



He looked down at this feet and let out a faint laugh. “You know, Tonks, you’ve got a lot in you. I’ll see you around.” And was a smile and a wink of the eye Remus Lupin vanished.

CHAPTER 2

It had been almost two weeks since the end of the school year. Tonks rarely had enough time to do anything except eat, sleep, guard the Dursleys, and chase Dark wizards. Eleven raids had occurred in the days following the Order meeting and she had been present at nine. Not only was she busy keeping her job, but she was also using all of her free time hiding in bushes under Harry’s window. She was completely exhausted.

Everyday she got home around twelve, magicked a dinner into her hands and was asleep by twelve-thirty, only to wake up the next morning around six.

After a surprisingly unexhausting day, she arrived home just after dark. Since the office wasn’t busy, Rufus Scrimgeour, Head of Auror Office, had let her off early. She flopped down on her lumpy couch and was surprised to find a carefully-folded note lying on the disheveled table in front of her.

She cautiously reached out her wand and tapped the note while muttering a counter-jinx. After nothing happened, she picked it up. It was blank on the outside and she was expecting it to spontaneously explode any second, but it didn’t. She opened it slowly and saw the loopy handwriting of Remus Lupin.

Dear Nymphadora,

I was thinking about something you said to me a while ago and was wondering if you could explain it to me over lunch tomorrow. Two o’clock at Jeremiah’s? The owl will wait for your answer.

Sincerely,
Remus Lupin

Was Remus Lupin asking her on a date? Or was that not the idea at all and he really did want to speak with her about what she’d said. Surely not the former; and in fact, what had it been that she’d said? It must have pertained to Sirius. Fantastic, this is going to be a pleasant encounter, she thought grimly.

She glanced back down at the note with the intent of writing a reply but instead noticed the name.

Curses, why can’t he remember that I would prefer to be called by my surname!

She sighed and ripped the bottom of the parchment off.

See you at two o’clock!

Tonks

She attached the parchment to the patiently waiting owl and watched as it soared off into the sky. Grumbling, she shuffled into her kitchen and pulled an old chicken and ham pie from the refrigerator. She examined the dish hastily, not noticing the patches of white forming in the corners until it was too late; she gagged as she took a bite of the moldy concoction. She spluttered, “Evanesco“ and the dish was gone.

*

The next day she woke up suddenly and found that it was already one o’clock. She had stayed up late the night before attempting to organize her small flat. It had seemed as if she’d accomplished quite a bit but when she looked around, nothing much seemed to have changed about the paraphernalia scattered about the floor. She ambled into the bathroom to take a quick shower before going to lunch.

She glanced at the mirror and noticed her hair was a vibrant purple. When did that happen? She flipped the shower on and walked out to her bureau to grab a pair of pants and shirt. She threw the lime green Zonko’s t-shirt onto her bed along with her most comfortable jeans before walking back into the bathroom. She checked the water temperature and found it perfectly hot. She stripped her clothes off and stepped warily into the jets of steaming water.

I hope this turns out well. I could be overanalyzing this whole thing and it could be that Remus wants to talk about something I mentioned about the office. Why are you doing this Tonks, why do you care? It’s only lunch with Remus… only lunch….

She shook the thoughts out of her head and turned the shower off. She peeked out of the curtain and saw that it was already 1:45. She leaped out of the shower, hurriedly dried herself off and threw her clothes on. She ran back into the bathroom, stubbing her toe on the corner of a book on the way, and looked directly into the mirror.

“What color will we be today? Blue sounds nice.” She scrunched up her face in deep concentration and suddenly her bright purple hair turned into short, turquoise spikes. “Very good.” She grinned at her reflection and bounced out of her house.

She arrived five minutes early to Jeremiah’s Wizard Cuisine, only to find that Remus had still beaten her there.

“Just how long have you been here?” She asked mockingly.

“Oh, about five minutes,” he answered as he glanced down at his shining, silver watch. He look excessively tired and ragged and her insides churned when she thought about the pain he must have recently been in.

She grinned back at him and suggested that they order. Each picked up a menu and when a waitress with tight blonde curls came over to take their orders Tonks went first.

“I’d like the meat pie and a side order of potatoes,” Tonks asked. “Oh, a cup of tea as well.”

Remus folded his menu and handed to the waitress, “I’ll have the same.” He grinned and the waitress was gone.

They sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments before Tonks suddenly spoke.

“What was it that I said?”

Remus rubbed his mouth and said, “I wanted you to know that you aren’t in this alone.”

“Technically, that’s not something I said. What do you mean by that?”

He leaned back in his chair and answered, “I mean to say I’m here for you. I’ve just lost my last remaining friend. The last thing I had love for. My family is gone, my other best friend has gone, and the other is a traitor. Sirius was all I had left and now there’s nothing. And there must be twenty times that pain for you.”

“Why more for me? You grew up with him, you were with him until the end. I was just there for the two years leading up to it. I hardly remember the times I was with him before he was in Azkaban. You remember the ten years leading up to that. Remus, I’ve got nothing on you.”

He put his head in his hands and groaned. As he rubbed his face he mumbled, “I don’t know where I’m going, Tonks. I’ve got nothing else except the Order and my few Galleons an hour from scrubbing the floors at the pub.”

She reached over and firmly grasped his hand, “Don’t say that Remus. You’ve got plenty. You managed those twelve years while Sirius was in Azkaban, and all those years you didn’t…” She hesitated as she hoped Remus would pick up on what she was saying. “I wasn’t around then, and dammit Remus, I’m the one that needs to be here for you, not the other way round! I can get along just fine, thanks very much!”

He pulled his hand out of hers and glanced around to make no one was startled by Tonks’ increasingly raising voice. “Nymphadora…”

She started at him sternly, “Don’t you dare try to intimidate me by using my first name! I won’t fall for it!”

Their dishes arrived, brought by a surprised looking waitress who hastily put the food down and walked away quickly.

“Look at what you’ve gone and done, Nymphadora! Scared the poor waitress to death,” Remus said teasingly. Tonks gave him a dirty look and crossed her arms stubbornly.

They ate their food in an angry silence before hastily paying the bill. Tonks went to get up but Remus grabbed onto her hand.

“Tonks, stop it. You know your first name isn’t that big a deal.”

“You obviously don’t get it. Lupin, let go of me,” she said maliciously, before storming out of the restaurant. Remus sighed and followed her.

“Why are all women so damn confusing?” he muttered as he pushed the heavy wooden door closed.

*

Once Tonks had arrived home, she walked straight into her bedroom and slammed the door. No man with any morals would walk into a woman’s room uninvited, she thought to herself with a grin of satisfaction. She didn’t even know why she had gotten so mad. Maybe she had been trying to hint at something that wasn’t there for him. Maybe to him their relationship was completely platonic. Maybe she was falling for a man she shouldn’t have anything to do with.

She heard her front door open and Remus call out her name. She sat stubbornly on her bed and waited for the knock on her door. Sure enough it came. She didn’t answer.

“Come on Nymphadora, let’s talk about this,” he pleaded with her. She didn’t move.

“Tonks, come on,” he whispered. She slowly stood up and walked over to the door.

“What?” she asked stonily.

He let out an exasperated laugh and attempted to open the door. “Tonks, come on. We can’t speak with each other through a door.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Tonks, stop being so immature and open the door.” To his great satisfaction the bait worked and the door flew open.

“I am NOT immature, Remus Lupin! I am anything but immature!” She shouted. As she noticed the look on his face she calmed. “What do you want to say?” She walked over and sat stiffly on the couch. Remus followed and sat down next to her.

“Tonks, come on now, we can’t keep doing this,” he said quietly.

“Doing what, Remus? Either having a row or pretending to be happy every time we see each other? Think you’re the only one tired of it? You’re wrong.”

“Why do we row, Tonks? It’s always over something that doesn’t matter.”

“I don’t bloody care about my first name! I don’t care!” Anger flaring, she stood up quickly.

“Then why do we do this?” he asked her in a pleading voice as he looked up into her face.

She stared at him with disbelief, “I thought you were an intelligent man, Remus, and if you can’t even figure it out then I must have been wrong,” she snapped. She stalked angrily back off to her bedroom.

*

Remus stared after her in disbelief. Why have I got to be so damned ignorant. I just won’t admit it. I can’t say it. The product could be much too painful for both of us. Remus put his face in his hands and sighed.

What am I going to do? I’m killing her and I know it. I’m causing her more pain by pretending I don’t want her.

Remus walked over to the small writing desk in the corner and found what he needed.

Nymphadora,

Sorry about everything. We can continue this conversation later. You know where to find me.

With the utmost care,
Remus

He folded the note just as he had before, but this time he walked over to her door and slipped it quickly underneath. He waited until he heard her light footsteps before he turned and left her flat.

*

As Tonks studied a crack in the ceiling, she heard the sound of paper sliding across wood.

She got out of her bed and walked carefully over to get the note. She heard the creak of a floorboard as Remus walked away, and the shutting of the door as he left.

She opened the note and read through it. I know where to find him? I guess that means he’ll be at his place or Headquarters.

She tossed the note carelessly on the floor and went over to her bed once again.

Continue the conversation my arse. That wasn’t a conversation, it was a row, she thought crossly.

Should she go and find him? What would happen if she did? Could she handle it?

*

It had begun to rain and Tonks’ clothes were soaked through by the time she arrived at Remus’ front step. He lived in a small house right outside of Hogsmeade. She knocked quietly on his door and he opened it a few moments later. He had a drawn look on his face, and she noticed that when he saw her, his eyes opened a bit wider and a sparkle appeared in them.

She stood on the threshold looking straight at him. He let his hand fall limply from the doorknob to his side. They stood staring at each other for minutes before Remus rushed forward and hugged her fiercely. She reacted by wrapping her small arms around his middle. They pulled apart and looked at each other sheepishly.

“I’m sorry.”

Chapter 3

Tonks sat at Molly Weasley’s kitchen table sipping a cup of tea. After her encounter with Remus, she had not felt like going back to her flat. The only other place where she felt at home was the Weasleys’, so that’s where she went.

When she got there, Molly was cleaning up for the night. As Tonks glumly knocked on the door, Molly had jumped and rushed over. She slowly pushed aside the window curtain to peek out and see who it was and, once she had realized that it was Tonks, she quickly threw the door open and welcomed her in.

*

“Tonks, dear, you should have called! I would have made a pot of tea.”

“Oh, thanks very much, Molly, but I hadn’t really planned on stopping by,” Tonks replied, as she shuffled over to the table and threw herself heavily into one of the worn-in wooden chairs. Molly walked over to the stove and Summoned a pot full of water to herself. She placed two bags of tea in the water. She muttered a spell, steam billowed out of the end, and a shrill whistle sounded throughout the kitchen. The pot poured the boiling tea into two cups and they floated over to the table as Molly rustled around in the pantry for milk and sugar.

Molly muttered, “Aha!” when she found the items and moved quickly over to the table. She handed some to Tonks and she scooped out a bit of sugar and dipped it into the water before letting it slide off the spoon. She slowly stirred the mixture around so that that sugar would dissolve. Tonks watched as Molly wiped her hands on the dishtowel she had thrown over her shoulder and knew that she was going to have to start conversation.

“How are Arthur and the kids doing?”

Molly gave her a knowing look and answered politely, “Oh just fine. Arthur’s been working long hours since he’s just been promoted, the twins’ shop has really expanded-- Oh! And Harry should be arriving sometime within the next few hours. Dumbledore took him to convince Slughorn to come back to Hogwarts, you know.”

Tonks toyed around with her spoon as she thought about what had happened previously that day.

*

It had begun to rain and Tonks’ clothes were soaked through by the time she arrived at Remus’ front step. He lived in a small house right outside of Hogsmeade. She knocked quietly on his door and he opened it a few moments later. He had a drawn look on his face, and she noticed that when he saw her, his eyes opened a bit wider and a sparkle appeared in them.

She stood on the threshold looking straight at him. He let his hand fall limply from the doorknob to his side. They stood staring at each other for minutes before Remus rushed forward and hugged her fiercely. She reacted by wrapping her small arms around his middle. They pulled apart and looked at each other sheepishly.

“I’m sorry.”

Tonks paused as she searched Remus’ face for some kind of emotion. He shook his head and lead her inside his home.

“I was really out of line and I just-- Oh, I’m so sorry, Remus, it’s just that work has been really rough this past two weeks and I think I just exploded back there,” Tonks offered as Remus took a seat at his kitchen table, she followed suit.

Remus looked straight into her eyes and said, “Honestly, Tonks, there had to be some basis for what just happened.”

Tonks felt belittled in his fierce gaze and began to fiddle with a lock of hair as she looked away, “Well you see, I just-- erm, well...”

Remus sat looking at her expectantly and before he knew it Tonks burst out, “Remus, I think I love you.”

*

Molly looked at Tonks’ small figure and could instantly tell there was something wrong. Her usually bright colored hair had begun to fade to a mousy brown and her face was drawn and pale.

“Tonks, is there anything I can do? You seem a bit worn out, would you like a nap or a hot meal?” Molly asked.

Tonks looked up at the kind woman and knew that Molly didn’t think Tonks needed rest and a good meal. “Oh bugger, Molly, I told Remus I loved him.”

Molly smiled. “Oh dear. How did he take it?”

Tonks let out a breath of air before she said, “Well he didn’t actually say anything for a few moments, until I just got up and left.”

“You left him?” Molly asked worriedly.

“Erm-- yeah, I did,” Tonks nodded sheepishly as she stirred her tea round and round. “He didn’t say anything! I wasn’t going to just sit around waiting for an answer because he obviously didn’t want to give me one!”

“Oh, Tonks, you know how strong-headed Remus can be about how his condition affects other people.”

“That’s no excuse for leaving me without an answer,” Tonks announced indignantly, showing the first true signs of emotion towards her predicament.

“You ought to give him another chance, dear. From what you have told me it seems as though he never had a full opportunity to reply.”

“I will not go back to him, he’s going to be the one--” She stopped short as she heard three knocks on the back door.

“Oh, that can’t be Dumbledore already! We weren’t expecting him so soon!” Molly said as she jumped up from her chair and hurried over to the thick, wooden back door. She peered cautiously through the eye-level window and instantly opened the door. True to her word, Albus Dumbledore and Harry Potter walked in seconds later. As Dumbledore entered, he was talking to Harry about Horace Slughorn, presumably now the new teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Mid-sentence Dumbledore spotted her and said, “Ah, hello, Nymphadora!”

She looked up from her tea. “Hello, Professor,” she said. “Wotcher, Harry.”

“Hi, Tonks.”

She looked around uncomfortably for a moment before she stood up and grabbed her cloak from the back of the chair. “I’d better be off. Thanks for the tea and sympathy, Molly.”

Tonks made to start moving for the back door before her actions were interrupted by Dumbledore, who said, “Please don’t leave on my account; I cannot stay, I have urgent matters to discuss with Rufus Scrimgeour.”

Tonks was beginning to look a bit flustered as she insisted, “No, no, I need to get going. ‘Night--”

“Dear, why not come to dinner at the weekend, Remus and Mad-Eye are coming--?”

“No, really, Molly, thanks anyway, good night, everyone.” She hurriedly left the house and shut the door quietly behind her before striding out beyond the Apparition barriers and vanishing instantly.

*

Instead of Apparating back to her flat, she was once again standing on Remus’ front porch, this time determined to get an answer. She knocked on the door and before her fist could strike the solid wood for the fourth time, Remus was standing in front of her.

“Er-- hello,” she said after a few rather awkward moments. Remus let out a breath that he had apparently been holding and nodded. They stood face to face for a few minutes. Tonks looked nowhere but her feet and Remus seemed a bit wary of the situation.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake come in,” he said suddenly. Tonks was so frightened by his sudden outburst that she jumped backward, tripped over a shrub, and fell down. She flushed red as Remus ran over to help her up.

“Sorry about that, didn’t mean to frighten you,” Remus apologized as he headed back into his house. Tonks, however, remained on his doorstep.

“Well, are you going to come in?” he asked when he realized she hadn’t followed him. She remained for a second weighing her options. She had absolutely no idea what she was going to say. She had come over here without so much as a second thought, and hadn’t even planned what to say in her defense.

Remus sat down at his table and looked up at Tonks. Before she could even reach her seat, he said, “Tonks, I’ve been thinking about the situation and I must give you an answer.”

Well, that was easier than I thought it was going to be, she thought. I didn’t even have to try to make him.

He looked up at her uneasily and began his explanation.

“You know of my condition, and it inhibits me in many ways. Ever since I was young there has always been prejudice against me, and I have always had to stand firm. It’s difficult, but I’ve done it. I can never find a steady job, so my annual income is hardly enough to support myself.” He looked at her as he said that and saw that she was returning his gaze, taking in every word he was saying. She sat there in rapt attention as he continued.

“I can’t love you and be happy with myself for the situation I would be drawing you into. I could never give you a stable family, Tonks, which is something you need. You deserve so much better than anything I could ever give you--”

At this point Tonks couldn’t hold herself together for much longer. Everything he was saying was against himself, he didn’t have any faith in the idea that every woman didn’t want millions of galleons and a mansion on an island. The love Tonks had for Remus was enough to support them.

“Look here, Remus, that’s just not true! I know that you have always doubted yourself because of your lycanthropy, but I went into this knowing about it, and I came out with the same feelings. I might not be the most rational person, but I’m not going to sit back and pretend that I don’t love someone just because they don’t have a steady job!”

Remus sighed and stood up. He walked slowly into to his kitchen and sat on the counter facing her. “Tonks, you seem so sure about this, but you don’t understand what it’s like to know that you’re putting someone in danger willingly.”

“Don’t you sit there and tell me I don’t understand something because I sure as hell understand a lot more than I let on.”

Remus looked at Tonks for a long time before he spoke again, “I’m sorry I said that, I shouldn’t assume you don’t understand when you might.”

“Damn right you’re sorry!” Tonks said indignantly, as she got up and started to pace the room. “Do you not understand that after all we’ve been through, that I’m ready to take the risks that come along with your condition? I want to be the one that is there for you the morning after, the one who brews your Wolfsbane Potion, because I don’t trust Snape one bit, no matter what Dumbledore says. Can you not see that I am willing to give up petty things such as wealth and a nice house for you?” She sat back down with a huff.

“Tonks, I’m not ready for this. I would not feel secure everyday while knowing that I was potentially a burden on--”

“Remus Lupin, you will never be a burden to me,” Tonks said as she met Lupin’s eyes with a fierce gaze. “Never.”

The look on Remus’ face suggested that he had given in to Tonks. He looked at the ground before he looked up again, “Not to mention the age difference, you need someone younger, more agile--”

“Stop trying to make up excuses, Remus, I’ve had about enough of it.”

Tonks got up and walked carefully over to where Remus was sitting. When she reached him, he looked up at her, “I can’t, Tonks, I’m so sorry.”

She sighed and let up. She knew that no matter what she said, he was going to feel like this until she showed him that she wasn’t going to give in.