Disclaimer: This is JK's kitchen, recipe, and ingredients... I only do the baking! ;)

One dark, cold December night, James Potter left the Gryffindor common room with his favorite comrade in arms: his Invisibility Cloak. Ironically, Sirius was sick as a dog unfortunately, so he was stuck in bed. He’d been released from the hospital wing earlier that very day. However, despite his illness, he claimed that he would die of hunger. James knew he’d only throw the food up right after he ate it, but he was a good, loyal friend and decided to go get a mini-feast for Sirius.

As James quietly tip-toed down the staircase, he realized that he was not alone in sneaking down the stairway. Lily Evans, the red-headed girl that always made him and Sirius look like complete morons in Charms, was slowly but surely making her own way to the corridor below. Although they were both third-year Gryffindors, he didn’t know her that well. The last time he’d seen her was at lunch. She’d scolded a sixth year Slytherin trying to scare a first year by telling him horrible tales of what happened to first years who did not do come at his every beck and call, ready and willing to serve. The Slytherin, in turn, spat “Filthy Mudblood” and threw a rather nasty hex at her. Luckily she dove out of the way in the nick of time, but it was clear that the Slytherin had won that particular encounter. He flashed her a sickening smile that showed off all of his yellowing crooked teeth. Everyone standing around knew that Lily felt infuriated upon witnessing the transformation of her usually pale face into a fiery red that matched her hair. Her fists balled up, and she stormed out of the Great Hall. James had felt compassion for her really. She’d stood up for what she believed in, but she just couldn’t compete with such a beast.

As he continued down the stairs, he decided that maybe it’d be more fun if he figured out what Lily was up to roaming around Hogwarts after hours. He knew Sirius would forgive him for investigating such a curious occurrence. Without further ado, he let Miss Evans pass him on the stairs and became merely an observer as she looked around quickly and took out her wand. As if in a hurry, she scampered over to the nearest broom closet, pointed at the door, and whispered an incantation that James had never heard before. Curiously, James analyzed the scene. Hearing a noise that sounded like people coming up the staircase that led to the dungeons, Lily fled into the nearest classroom and cracked the door open. Luckily, James had been (literally) two steps ahead of her. In a desperate attempt to see what was going on outside of the room, he looked over her (which was fairly easy given their height difference). As he watched the big, burly Slytherin that had tormented Lily at lunch escort a rather unfortunate looking girl into the broom cupboard, he couldn’t help but notice that Lily smelt absolutely wonderful. He typically didn’t care for flowery scents, but hers was just divine in his opinion. Snapping back to his senses, he watched as the door to the broom cupboard latched closed. Suddenly, a shrieking sound that violated the ears more than a Howler reached his ears. Then, he heard two sets of fists pounding on the broom closet’s door. Lily let out a quiet little giggle, and James fought to keep his ribs from breaking under the pressure of his suppressed laughter. He could not believe that Lily Evans, THE goody-two-shoes of his year, had just pulled off a prank that could easily rival one of James and Sirius’s best. He then made a mental note to never mess with Lily Evans. As Filch approached the broom closet’s door yelling numerous methods of punishment for such delinquents, Lily moved towards the back of the room and sat deep in the shadows, leaving almost no chance of her ever being caught. James, seeing that she would clearly get away from this unscathed (for no Slytherin would believe Lily capable of carrying out such a brilliant prank) snuck out of the room under the guise of his trustworthy cloak. This time, he had to use all of his control to not pee in his pajamas as he snuck by a furious Filch reprimanding the two Slytherins who had merely left their common room for a good snog in his usual spot. The ugly girl was crying, while the revolting boy was clearly extremely angry. The scene was just hysterical.

As James reflected on the events of that night, he tickled the pear in the painting that led to the kitchen and the house-elves that knew him by name. The house-elves did their best to fill James’s arms with everything that Sirius loved about Hogwarts food and more. Finally, after completing the mission that Sirius had set him out to do, he silently made his way back to the Gryffindor common room. After giving the Fat Lady the password (“Gillyweed”), he made his way towards the third year boys’ dormitory. Upon seeing Sirius, he realized that he did not really want to tell Sirius all that he had seen concerning Lily’s marvelous prank. “It took you long enough!” Sirius exclaimed. James just smirked and dug into the grub he had rummaged up. Three minutes later, Sirius was projectile vomiting all over the room, just as James had predicted.

A/N: I had to up the rating on this one. I decided that in order for me to accurately portray the characters, it was necessary. I hope you like it! Also, every author loves to know what their (lovely) readers think about their work! ;)! I'm swamped in exams still *sigh*, but an update should be coming soon...

Disclaimer: If I were J.K. Rowling, I would be writing the seventh book or taking care of three children... but that's not the case, so read away!

James Potter slid open the compartment door and waltzed in, finally sitting himself across from Sirius with his typical smirk plastered onto his face. “So, mate, are you ready for some crazy adventure?” Sirius questioned with a cocky grin.

James contemplated the inquiry for a few seconds and replied, “Well, there’s still a good week until the full moon. Can you wait that long?”

“Why wait? Lupin will be busy with Prefect’s duties, so he won’t be around to chaperone us and give us any lectures. It’s the ideal opportunity! We can finally blow up Moaning Myrtle’s toilet, eat in the kitchens at all hours, and sneak into Hogsmeade for some Dungbombs!” Sirius obviously was a tad bit excited about the prospects for the year.

“Well, where’s Peter? I think he’d want to be in on this.” James always had to look out for Peter. He needed lots of help… with everything from coordinating outfits to doing his homework. He wasn’t exactly the brightest crayon in the box.

“I don’t know, and quite frankly, I don’t even really care! I’m just glad that for once he’s not busy kissing your arse!”

“Now, Padfoot, that’s not fair! It’s not MY fault that my bum seems so appealing to so many people!”

“Yeah, true, but that Lily Evans seems immune to your bum’s charms. In fact, I think she thinks you are an arse. Wait, that or you should shove something up your arse!” Sirius said, batting his eyelashes coquettishly.

“Ha…Ha… Ha… NOT FUNNY! No, I think that deep, deep down, in the depths of her soul, Lily Evans loves me with a love so pure and desperate that she has to put on this ridiculous façade of hatred to keep herself from jumping my bones. Seriously, where would we be if that happened? We’d never get that deep connection that she longs for so desperately.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow, and smartly replied, “Oh, of course she does. She just doesn’t know it yet!”

James, seeming to think that Sirius finally grasped the concept while remaining oblivious to Sirius’s biting sarcasm, exclaimed, “EXACTLY!”

Sirius began laughing heartily at his friend’s obvious delusions when he caught a glimpse of light reflecting off of long, flowing red-hair. His eyes bugged out of their sockets, and he shot James a meaningful look as if to say, “SHUT UP NOW!” However, James remained in the dark and continued to rant. “In five years, when we have three children, who all look as gorgeous as me, and she’s making me dinner in our kitchen while I lounge around reading the Daily Prophet, she’ll appreciate me. As she looks around the dinner table and sees our red-headed offspring, then, only then, will Lily Evans begin to explore the unfathomable depths of her true attraction to me.”

Suddenly, the silence that had followed his brief soliloquy was filled with raucous laughter that seemed nothing short of loud and mocking, all coming from a short, fiery little red-head whose face now matched her hair. Grasping her side while she tried to catch her breath, she looked up at James, her eyes filled with tears from laughing so boisterously. “Oh, Potter, you wish that I would fall for you so badly, don’t you? However, I regret to inform that I appear to be the only girl at Hogwarts with a good head full of sense on my shoulders. Thank Merlin I was born immune to your childish egotism and unruly hair. While most girls may find that irresistible, I find it rather… hmmm… nauseating.”

“What, do I make you love-sick, dear? You know when you said ‘nauseating,’ what you really meant to say was, ‘undeniably enticing’,” James replied, smiling sweetly, strategically tousling his hair.

Lily innocently snapped, “Oh, look at Narcissus worshipping himself in his self-erected temple, yet again. Shocker!”

James gave her a confused look and dumbly stated, “I am not! Wait, what does that mean?”

Losing her patience with James, Lily exclaimed, “Look it up you troglodytic MORON!”

Barks of laughter and pure glee erupted from Sirius’s side of the compartment. This was just too much entertainment for him to bear in silence. At that moment, Lupin entered the compartment. Lily turned and noted his presence saying, “I came by to get you to see if you wanted to discuss our patrolling schedule, but then I ran into these imbeciles and just couldn’t contain my joy any longer, so we had a little chat. Isn’t that how it went, James?”

“Right, sure, one of the best conversations I’ve ever had,” James arrogantly retorted, trying to regain some of his lost pride.

“Mm hm. Well, I’d best be off. Remus, if you’d like to accompany me, we can nail out our schedule for the next few weeks. I’ll see you clowns later,” she said glancing at Sirius and James.

“Always a pleasure, Miss E.!” Sirius harmoniously countered. Remus and Lily then left the compartment. Lupin shot them a pleading glance as if to apologize for the assault they had just endured and to say he’d be back shortly.

“Seriously, where is Peter?” James cried exasperatedly.

Sirius studied James for a second. “Why? Looking for an ego-boost after Evans verbally beat you to a pulp?”

As if on cue, Peter stumbled into the compartment, tripping on his trainers’ laces. Red-faced and gasping for air, he wheezed, “Hey. Sorry I’m late. Snape cornered me, and I didn’t know what to do, so I tried to hex him. That didn’t go to well.” Right then, five humongous bubbles erupted from his right ear, shooting at James.

“I guess that explains your bubbly personality today!” Sirius condescendingly sniggered. James shot him an evil glare.

“What did he try to do to you?” James asked concernedly.

Peter ashamedly examined his hands lying in his lap. “WELL, WHAT?!” Sirius growled. Peter looked up, still not meeting their inquiring eyes, and went on, mumbling, to tell his tale…

“Well, you see, I was only looking out for you, James, since you’re my best friend in the whole wide world. I had heard this rumor that Lily Evans was dating someone, and I wanted so desperately to know how you could win Lily over, so I figured that the best way to do that would be to consult her friend, Holly, since she’s a seer and all, of course,” Peter began.

“Holly Who-Now?” asked James.

Sirius passionately explained, “Holly Hawley, the girl with gorgeous blue eyes and beautiful brown hair!” Sirius dreamily stared out the window, grasped the fabric of his robes covering his heart, and let out a deep dramatic sigh, full of longing. It might not have been love, but lust had quite the effect on Sirius.

James, quite puzzled, thought for a second and then questioned, “You mean that girl that we sit next to in Potions?”

“The very same,” Sirius replied.

“Oh, so I guess that explains a lot. That’s why you picked that spot! You fancy her!” James chuckled.

“What?! I never said that! In fact, she’s too tall. I can barely read her answers over her shoulder!” Sirius retorted.

“OK. Whatever. Peter, continue.”

Peter, glaring resentfully at Sirius, continued. “As I was saying, I went to talk with Holly in order to get the information necessary to get Lily to like you. I decided that I should just ask her, flat-out, what you should do to insure Lily’s affection.” Allowing enough time to receive a reaction from James, Peter took in a drawn-out breath.

“And…?” James yelled exasperatedly. “Uh, I mean, yeah. So then what happened? Not that I care or anything, but I do. Just not that much.”

“Right, Cleopatra,” Sirius said, deviously mocking James.

“Excuse me. Do I look like a girl? I'm not the Queen of the Nile or the Queen of Denial!” James exclaimed.

Peter, confused, asked, “What are you guys even talking about? James isn’t a girl, and he’s not from Russia either! I don’t get it.”

Sirius, rolling his eyes, simply stated, “Peter, keep telling your story, and don’t stray from the topic.”

James, frustrated beyond comparison, finally exclaimed, “Get on with the story, Peter! I mean, continue, old chap!”

Peter, shocked, hurriedly appeased James. Leaning in, conspiratorially, Peter whispered, “So, Holly told me, after much persuasion, under the utmost secrecy, that Lily is in fact already dating Severus Snape!” James gasped in horror while Sirius giggled uncontrollably.

James, sounding as if he was being suffocated or choked, finally managed to inquire, “Lily? With Severus Snape?! How is that possible?”

Peter knowingly patted James on the shoulder and simply said, “A wise person once said, ‘Love is blind.’”

Sirius, noting the gravity of the circumstances in the eyes of his fellows, tried to handle the volatile situation delicately. “This is true, but do you honestly think that love is blind, deaf, and devoid of any semblance of reason or logic? Look, Lily may be dating someone, but I would be willing to bet my secret stash of Zonko’s goods that Lily is not dating Snape. Seriously, that’s just insane. He calls her Mudblood almost every time he sees her. That doesn’t exactly turn a girl on.”

“You’re right!” yelled James, jumping up onto the seat.

“Hold up, lover boy. Just wait for Peter to finish his story, and then you can go galloping in on your white horse… or your broomstick, whichever you prefer,” Sirius reasoned.

Peter opened his mouth to continue his tale when eight rather large purple bubbles (smelling strongly of essence of lavender) erupted from his mouth, and James and Sirius burst into giggles as the bubbles popped. After the momentary distraction, Peter began, yet again, boasting, “So, I decided that I would not stand for Snivellus taking my friend’s woman. I marched right up to him and demanded a duel.” At this moment, Peter took in a gasp of breath and puffed his chest up in an attempt to mirror George Washington crossing the Delaware, but succeeding in resembling only a sketchy soufflé. Sirius disguised his subsequent laughter as a coughing fit.

James eagerly pressed on. “What happened after you challenged Snivellus?”

Peter, slightly abashed, began to deflate. “Snape implied that I really wasn’t up to his standard, so he point-blank refused to give me the time of day. Of course, as a Marauder, I was rather offended, so I called him a coward, in front of all of his Slytherin gang. I pulled out my wand, and before I could even begin to mutter a single hex, Snape had me floating in the air, upside down so my underwear were showing.”

“So, what day of the week is it, Peter? Or did you forget to change your days-of-the-week underpants?” Sirius inquired, half-jokingly.

Peter, blushing profusely, continued as if he hadn’t heard a word Sirius said. “He ended up stuffing me into an empty trunk and closing it. I wasn’t strong enough to lift the lid, but the next thing I knew, Lily Evans was letting me out of the trunk. She must’ve heard my muffled screams… or seen a bubble. Then, she walked in exactly the same direction Snivellus had gone but not two minutes before. So, you know what that means, don’t you?”

“Lily Evans was following Snape into the back of the train so that she could run her hands through his greasy hair while snogging him senseless?” Sirius asked in jest. “Ew, wait, that’s not a pretty mental picture,” he added as an afterthought, displaying a look of pure revulsion.

James, who until now was frozen on his station atop the seat, sprang into action, drawing his wand heroically from his robes. “There is no way on earth that Lily would ever do any such thing! She knows that so much grease applied to skin could suffocate it! Plus, she’s saving herself for me and me alone!”

“Sure, Romeo. Look, James, it does seem that Peter did kind of ask for it. I mean, he went up to Snivellus and called him a coward in front of all his cronies. That’s like ripping his balls off and feeding them to his toad!” Sirius exclaimed.

“But I don’t have a toad! And, Snape is going out with James’s true love!” Peter retorted defensively.

“Well, she’s my true love, but I’m apparently not hers. However, I still don’t think that she would go after Snivellus. He’s really not her type. Now, if she were going out with a stand-out guy who appears to have it all, like… say… Archy, then that would make more sense,” James reasoned as he glanced out the compartment window to see the source of his inspiration, Archimedes Hand. “I have to help her out. I know that she doesn’t exactly reciprocate my love and affection, but I should at least be willing to be her friend. A friend would most willingly protect her from this kind of… evil! If you guys are really my friends, which you have definitely proven yourselves to be, you’ll help me help her.”

Sirius, rather reluctant, saw his friends pleading eyes begging him for some semblance of mercy, and relented. “Mate, you just have to remember that she’s not yours to defend all the time. You know that ticks her off more than anything, but if you realize that, then I’m in.” Peter frantically nodded in agreement, trying to quell a bubble escaping from his left nostril, and in unison, they all took a step towards the compartment door…


A/N: I would just like to point out that I don't think that "Peter-bashing" is too terribly far-fetched. In the American version of the third book, Rosmerta is quoted saying, "Pettigrew? That fat little boy who was always tagging around after them at Hogwarts?” Minerva then replies, "Hero-worshipped Black and Potter… Never quite in their league talent-wise.” Obviously, yes, he was a Marauder, and I'm sure that James and Sirius loved him. However, I think that he was always a couple of steps behind. I do respect your opinion(s). I just wanted to validate my personal views on Peter back in his Hogwarts days. I am a big fan of canon, but I want to give this story a "not-so-terribly cliche" spin. I hope that explains the direction of the story a little better. Have a lovely day! :)!)

Once they were outside their compartment, James paused, and in a manner similar to Bond, James Bond, he said, “Be on your guard now, wands at the ready. Stay close to me.”

Peter, following meekly behind, questioned, “James, don’t you think that maybe we should use the invisibil-“

“No,” James announced, holding up his right hand, “this time, it’s personal. We do this face-to-face.”

“Oh!” exclaimed Sirius in an explicitly sarcastic tone. “So that’s why this is so different from all of the other times!” James simply glared at his best friend as they continued on their path towards Snape’s compartment. When they reached the door of the compartment, James took control, opening the door and talking directly to his arch-nemesis, Severus Snape.

“Snivellus, I’d like a word. Could you risk five minutes alone with me and send your little entourage outside?” James inquired.

“Here’s a word. In fact, here are nine words: Get the bloody hell out of my compartment… NOW!” Snape boomed. Seeing Snape’s glaring red eyes and frightening scowl, Peter slightly shifted his weight so that James was blocking him from Snape’s view. He hadn’t forgotten his days-of-the-week underwear or his lavender-scented air fresheners.

“Seriously, are you just afraid to give me a moment of your time in which you won’t have your posse to back you up? I would think that since you and Lily are always calling me arrogant, pig-headed, proud, narcissistic, blah, blah, blah, you’d be willing to let me attack so that you could rightly put me in my place and deflate my, as you so callously put it, ‘enormously gigantic ego.’”

Snape seemed to ponder this, stroking his rather pitiful attempt at a goatee. “Well, ‘Potty Pot,’ I would love a chance to teach you a lesson or two, maybe even three, so I will acquiesce.” At this moment, Snape motioned his crew to the door, and they all fell out and joined Peter and Sirius in the hall. Sirius nodded at James, assuring him that if anything went wrong, he would hex the hell out of everyone in the vicinity. When Snape alone remained in the compartment, James stepped in from the doorway and shut the door behind him.

Raising his wand hand, he flicked and swished muttering, “Silencio.” Realizing that the privacy would get Snape to open up a tad bit more, James sat down opposite of Snape and coolly regarded him.

“James,” Snape scowled.

“Severus,” James responded, just as menacingly. “You know that even though I can’t stand the sight of you, I do have a respect for you and your talents… on some level.”

“The feeling is mutual, although I won’t even attempt to show a public display of affection for you, James.”

“Severus, I think it’s time that we had another one of our little ‘chats.’”

Snape, sighing, questioned, “What is it about this time, Potter?” while making a grab for James’s robes.

“Well, actually, there’s a rumor circulating the train that you and my dearest flower are dating,” James answered, throwing a purposefully ill-aimed punch at Snape.

“Oh! Nice punch! That would’ve hurt,” Snape laughed.

“Thanks, but anyways, this rumor, does it have any merit whatsoever?”

Severus, at this point, kicked to the right of James’s left leg so that it appeared that he had just crushed “the family jewels.” James, catching the illusion, dropped animatedly to the ground and made a show of clutching his nether parts. He held up a hand to keep Sirius from barging into the compartment. “I hate it when you do that one! It makes me look like such a pansy! Answer the question!” James said, raising his voice.

“Sorry. Beating you up is too much fun and way too easy!”

James, losing his patience, pinned Snape to the wall and yelled furiously, with a glint in his eyes, “Look, Snivellus, Lily is… In other words, you better not be playing at something. Tell me now! What is going on?”

Snape, getting that this was no longer an amicable conversation, decided that it was time to get down to business. “Potter,” he said, drawing his wand, “I would never, ever touch the likes of Lily Evans, Mudblood or not. If she’s your type, she’s all yours, but seeing as she’d never give you the time of day, smart girl that she is, I don’t see why you’re so riled up.” Shooting theatrical red sparks at James, he inquired, “Is that all? Can we cut the crap and get on with our lives?”

Relieved that Snape wasn’t dating Lily, he still couldn’t get something off of his mind. “So, wait, why would Holly have told Peter that you were dating Lily if, in fact, as you claim, nothing could be farther from the truth?”

“Dearest James,” Snape patronizingly mocked, “don’t you see what’s going on here? Obviously, your ‘flower of virtue’ doesn’t reciprocate your misguided affections. Did you ever think that maybe she has her eye on someone else and merely wanted you to be distracted? I know this might prove to be rather difficult for you, but let us think for a moment, shall we? You are always at war with me, so what would easily distract James Potter, the famous Marauder? Let me help your miniscule brain out for a second. Holly decided to make me a diversionary tactic, and look how well that’s working for her. What you need to do is get out of my bloody compartment and solve the mystery yourself,” he finished with an almost pitying look.

Then, as if realizing that they’d been still too long, James dramatically bellowed, “Petrificus totalus! Snivellus, remember, this time, it’s my turn to perform the final act…” He winked at his immobile enemy and opened the door quickly, releasing the largest handful of Dungbombs he could muster. “Run!” he yelled to his comrades as he escaped the compartment. The three boys flew down the corridor and came to a halt when they believed that they were out of wand-shot.
Successive “Boom! Crack! Pop!” sounds echoed out of Snape’s compartment, followed by loud exclamations of, “Ew! Nasty! Look at this… this… CRAP!” Bursting out into raucous laughter, Sirius fell onto the floor, gripping his side, while James doubled over, leaning onto the door of the nearest compartment for support. Peter froze in horror, his eyes almost bugging out of his head.

James, having recovered from his bout of laughter, looked up and saw Peter’s expression. “Oh come on! We’re not going to get in trouble, so don’t get your Saturday panties in a twist!” Peter simply pointed at the compartment door that James was leaning against. Confused, James slowly turned around only to have his face register the same shock and horror that had occupied Peter’s countenance only moments earlier. His heart dropped to the bottom of his stomach. There, on the other side of the compartment door, was Lily Evans, his lily, being passionately embraced by none other than Archy Hand. The irony of the situation was simply too much to handle. His face turned green and he began to exercise his gag-reflex.

However, before he could fully recover and react, Snape popped his head out of his compartment and contemptuously hollered, “What’s wrong, Potter? Lily Evans got your tongue? Oh wait, that’s right, Archy’s got hers!” He beamed, winking at James. Overcome by rage and hatred for the man whom he had confided in only minutes ago, James raised his wand and shouted the first curse that came to mind, “Levicorpus!” Snape flew up high into the air, his feet gliding along the ceiling. James thoughtfully twirled Snape in the air a few times, giving him the fluid movement of a ballerina. After his anger had abated, he regarded Snape saying, “Snivellus, now you’re really the diversionary tactic. Take that, you slimy, greasy-haired bastard!” He dropped Snape with the last word of his rant. As he turned to walk away, Lily Evans thrust the door of her compartment open and glowered menacingly at James…

“James Bloody Potter!” Lily roared, her face a vivid hue of scarlet, unintentionally portraying great pride in the Gryffindor house.

With his shoulders drooping and his head hanging like a wilting plant, James muttered softly under his breath, “Now’s really not the time, Lily.”

“What do you mean ‘Now is not the time’?! This is the perfect time! Once again, you’re being an arrogant prick, preying on those weaker than you just for the heck of it! I have had it up to here with you!” she yelled, holding her hand as high above her head as she could. Her rant faltered when James slowly shook his head and began to resignedly walk away. However, the pause was momentary, and she continued in full force, screaming at the top of her lungs, “James Potter, don’t you dare walk away from me when I’m lecturing you! This just proves how rude and selfish you are! You care for no one but yourself, you self-centered PIG!”

Sirius, brows furrowed in anger, wheeled on Lily, grabbing her shoulders forcefully, and heatedly stated, “Look, you don’t have any bloody idea what you’re talking about, so just do yourself a favor, and shut your mouth before you do any more damage.” After giving her a meaningful glance, he took off after James, leaving Lily stunned into silence.

~*~*~*~*~

With Lily’s angry reprimands ringing endlessly in his ears, James determinedly strode down the corridor to find a spot that could provide some solitude. So upset and trapped in his own misery, he hardly noticed when he accidentally bumped into a tiny first-year who looked more like a five year-old. He would’ve remained oblivious to their chance meeting had she not emitted a tiny, “Ouch!”

Finally realizing that he had in fact made contact with some sort of being, James spun around to see a fragile girl resembling an angel, sprawled on the floor. Her white-blonde hair fanned delicately about her head, providing a sharp contrast with the midnight-black of her robes. As she looked up, he was awestruck upon gazing at her porcelain skin that resembled a China doll. However, what struck him most were her brilliant blue eyes that seemed almost other-worldly. Apologetically, James approached with his arm out-stretched. “I’m so terribly sorry! I was just caught in my thoughts. Is there anything that I can do to help you?” James asked concernedly.

“I’m quite alright. Though, I could actually use some help hoisting this enormous trunk onto the luggage rack,” she dreamily replied, clutching at her bottle-cap necklace.

“It would be my pleasure, Miss!” he said gallantly, half-bowing and giving her a friendly wink. Squaring his shoulders and bending his knees, he hunched over and picked up the girl’s trunk. “Goodness, this is quite a heavy trunk for such a little lady!”

Giggling, she informed him, “Well, I did bring along my entire collection of Magical Maize.”

James, having succeeded in placing the trunk atop the luggage rack, turned and quizzically inquired, “What is Magical Maize? In all my years at Hogwarts, I have yet to hear of Magical Maize.”

“Well, very few people have. You see, the Ministry of Magic just doesn’t want the common witch and wizard to know that they in fact hold the power to cure all their own magical maladies and injuries. If anything ever happens to you, you can just come and see me, and I’ll get you patched up in no time!” she smiled brightly.

“Thanks very much. Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, my dear. I still don’t know your name though, fair maiden. Would you do me the honor?” he asked, bending to one knee and taking her petite hand in his rather large one.

“It’s Estrela, that means ‘star’ in Portuguese. My family kind of has an obsession with galactic oddities. My favorite sister’s name is Luna, and I’ve always loved that name”, she responded. Slightly pausing, she gazed out of the window momentarily, and then, looking as though she had just solved a particularly complex math problem, she turned her head towards James, and simply stated, “And you’re James Potter.”

“Wow, I’m impressed and flattered that you know who I am.”

“Well, don’t tell anyone, but I’ve developed a top-secret method of ‘feeling out’ people. It’s kind of like a mind-reading thing, and you just emanate the aura of James Potter, which I really can’t put into words”, she replied.

Skeptically raising his eyebrows, James asked, “Really?”

Smirking, she looked at him and replied, “You honestly believe that I am capable of doing such things? Oh goodness! You are a silly boy, just like Luna said! In actuality, she told me all about you. Apparently, you’re quite the catch at Hogwarts. From what I hear, you’re chivalrous (as I’ve already witnessed first hand), smart, talented…” At hearing this assessment of his character, James perked up and flashed a cocky grin. “But it seems that you have an excessive sense of self-importance.” James looked a little down-trodden at this. His sweet little first-year had turned on him! How rude! “However, I don’t really see that as a bad thing.”

“How do you figure that? Everyone else seems to think that because of my ‘ego,’ I have the makings of the next Stalin, and you know everyone just loved Stalin. He’s so gosh-darn popular, I don’t see how I could compare, but apparently it’s more than possible,” he said bitterly.

“I highly doubt anyone thinks that you’ll turn into some sort of crazed, mass-murderer. Look, it’s important to be self-assured, but just remember that some people take your sarcastic comments about your own skills a little too seriously. You may think that you’re stating something that’s totally off the wall when you go on and on about how you’re so great, you could be the next Minister of Magic. On the other hand, your classmates probably think that you really could be the Minister one day, so you just come across as a real jerk. Take it as a compliment, but use it as constructive criticism at the same time.”

There was a lengthy pause. James, sporting a very confused look on his face, said, “Wait, you’re a first-year. I’m supposed to be giving you advice. You’re putting me to shame, Estrela.” He chuckled at the thought of what Sirius would think if he saw James taking the advice of a small first-year that looked like the runt of the litter.

“Don’t take it too personally. I’m very wise for my age. My sister, thinking that I could use some intellectual reading material, gave me this new magazine called ‘The Quibbler.’ This guy, whom I actually think is pretty attractive, Mr. Lovegood, started printing it about a year ago. There’s a weekly article in there called ‘Channeling Cassandra’ where this lady, Sibyll Trelawney, gives advice from the beyond on all sorts of complex issues. That’s how I found out that Dumbledore’s brother is really… Wait, that’s probably too much for you to handle right now. Let’s just stay on topic. I think you’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it. Go back to your friends, have a few laughs, and be sure to wave to me in the hallways, OK?”

James just laughed and said, “I’ll make sure of it!” With that, he waved and left Estrela to go find Sirius and Peter. When he looked back, sure enough, she already had buried her nose in the latest issue of ‘The Quibbler.’

~*~*~*~*~

Sirius ran in the direction James had gone, anxiously searching for any sign of his best friend. He knew that despite James’s resolve to appear collected in front of Lily, he was heartbroken. As Sirius ran by yet another compartment, a voice grabbed him out of his reverie. “Looking for your lover?”

“Well, it seems that I’ve already found her, but I was looking for James,” Sirius suavely countered, trying to side-step his long-time crush, Holly Hawley. For now, she was nothing but an obstacle standing in between him and his destination.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re cute? Oh wait, I’m sure you tell yourself that daily in the mirror, and then, you probably hear it again at night as James tucks you into bed,” Holly retorted. “Speaking of your mate James, why can’t you tell him to just leave Lily alone? All he ever does is tick her off and put her in a foul mood that makes the rest of us want to do something drastic to shut her up. If he keeps it up, I’ll do something drastic to him, and not in a good way.”

“You think handling Lily is difficult? Try dealing with James ever single bloody time Lily crushes his poor little heart. It’s like trying to stay conscious while replanting mandrakes as they scream in your ear… without earmuffs! I don’t understand why Evans won’t just go on one date with James. Seriously, he’s my best mate, and he’s as good as they come. I wouldn’t hang around with him if he wasn’t, but the way that she totally writes him off and disregards his thoughts and emotions…” Sirius paused at the dubious look Holly was shooting his way. “Yes, he has emotions! He has a lot of them!” Sirius lashed out in frustration. “You girls just think that he’s some sort of arrogant prick, and yes, I’ll be the first to admit that he has a healthy self-image, but it’s nothing undeserved. And look at Evans, she thinks that she’s too good for James, and that’s the real reason she won’t go out with him, so what does that say about her?”

“She hasn’t got shit for brains, that’s what it says, you idiot! Who would go out with a guy that wants nothing more than a good shag from them?” Holly yelled exasperatedly.

“Just because he’s a teenage male does not mean that he has the emotional range of a teaspoon. He doesn’t just want ‘a good shag’ as you so cruelly put it.” At this point, Sirius put on his best look in an attempt to play the sage. “He needs what I like to call a ‘Mutual Partnership,’ that is, a relationship based on love, trust, respect, and maybe the occasional clarification by physical means…”

Holly, rolling her eyes, challenged, “So, teenage boys are able to have those kinds of lasting relationships? Let’s put you under the microscope, shall we?”

In the dark, Sirius questioned, “What exactly is a microscope?”

Remus, who had just re-entered the vicinity and was attempting to pass the confrontation unnoticed, could not pass up a chance to help his friend. “It’s a scientific instrument that allows one to see exceptionally small objects or specimens by magnifying them.” After concluding his definition, he saluted Sirius and sprinted off in an attempt to hunt James down.

Looking somewhat affronted, Sirius indignantly stated, “There’s nothing small about Sirius Black!”

“Ha! Both of your brains are rather small, not that I would know about the one, but from evidence presented, that would have to be my hypothesis,” Holly retaliated.

“What do you mean by two brains? Oh! I just got that. Cute, Hawley. You and your femi-Nazi comments! Still, that being said, you haven’t really proven that I have an abnormally diminished emotional spectrum. That being said, I think I win. Better luck next time!” Sirius winked as he attempted and failed, yet again, to pass his temporary nemesis.

“Not so fast, Black. I’m not finished. Second Year: Priscilla Powell, Violet Parkinson, Eunice MacMillan. I mean, come on, Black. Eunice MacMillan? You were twelve! Third year: Kathleen Hepburn, Rachel Thorpe, Bertha Zambini (EW), and Madame Pince’s younger assistant. Yes, I do know that you snuck into the library late one night unnoticed. You and James really need to learn how to use your library voices, not just the librarian in training. Fourth year: Zoe Smith and Alice Martin, now Alice Longbottom.”

“I object,” Sirius coolly countered. “I never made-out with or dated Alice Martin, now Longbottom!”

“Oh really! Then why were you two locked up in a broom cupboard during her seventh year for over three hours?” Holly inquired, raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms across her chest.

“If you must know, I locked her in there thinking that then she’d have to kiss me, but she found a way around that. She’s quite strong, actually. She knows a heck of a lot of curses. I didn’t get a single kiss out of that broad, and to make matters worse, her boyfriend Frank came after me a couple of days later, and now my nose hurts every time the weather changes.” Sirius sighed and seemed to return from his nostalgic trip into the past. “In actuality, I only dated one girl that year, but don’t let it get around. I can’t lose my reputation! That’d leave girls like you thinking that I might not be so bad, and where would that get me? We all know that if people thought I was capable of long-term relationships and commitment-crap, I’d never be able to get rid of ladies after one round in the broom cupboard.”

“Again, like I said, teenage boys have no capacity to maintain long-term relationships,” Holly simply stated. “Just forget it, I’m done talking to you. Goodbye!” At this point, Holly stepped back into her compartment and shut the door, settling herself down with a book titled ‘How to Get Rid of those Annoying Premonitions.’ Looking as if he’d just survived the firing squad, Sirius turned around and continued on the path he’d been traveling before his run-in with Holly.

~*~*~*~*~

Remus finally found James sitting by himself, looking forlornly out the window. The desolate compartment, though containing only James, seemed filled with an indescribable melancholy. “So…” Remus began as he took a seat across from James. Realizing that James needed a little time to adjust to the presence of another, Remus gave James a few seconds to collect his thoughts. “I ran into Lily, and she told me all about your encounter and the unfortunate circumstances. From what I gathered, and you can correct me if I’m wrong, maybe you saw Lily with her new boyfriend, and then, after a few exchanged words with Snape, you decided to take out all of your rage and frustration on him.”

“Pretty much,” James simply replied, bobbing his head.

“I know you like Lily and everything, but you always seemed to get along fairly well with Archy. You’re both smart, funny, athletic guys,” Remus continued.

“I didn’t really even see the problem earlier today. Ask Sirius or Peter, I really do like the guy. It’s just that I don’t like ‘The Hands’ publicly groping Lily, just like he did Catherine Bell last year. The way that he was treating her just like she was any girl…” James growled, reverting back into his possessive mind-set.

“Easy there! I’m wolfish enough for the four of us!” James managed a small smile at this. “She’s a big girl; she can handle herself. You know that there’s nothing you can really do concerning their relationship that won’t make her shut you out even more. If you think you’re on the outside now, you’ll be in a galaxy far, far away if you even dream of interfering with her blooming relationship. Just try to be her friend and support her. Then, maybe over time, you’ll be the last boy standing. Look, boyfriends come and go, but your friends are almost always with you, so if you infiltrate her guard by becoming her friend, you’ve won half the battle. Don’t get so down on yourself. You still have three whole years until you graduate. OK?”

James looked slightly cheered, but he kept thinking for a few seconds before telling Remus, “Three years… Goodness… It seems like such a long time, but I don’t know if that’s enough time for me to get Lily to see that I’m not the spawn of Satan… or Satan Incarnate for that matter.”

Remus, looking thoughtfully at James, patted James assuredly on the shoulder and joined James in companionable silence. After a few minutes of undisturbed solitude, Remus turned to James and advised, “James, just bide your time, and it’ll all work out in the end, one way or another.”

James, annoyed with his unruly mane, exasperatedly brushed his bangs away from his eyes. He could barely see the Quidditch field with all of his hair blocking his line of sight. Eagerly scanning the field for his first-love, the golden-winged orb, a.k.a. the Snitch that ruled his heart and soul, James’s eyes alighted upon Sirius who was belligerently attacking a bludger with his large club. “Gosh, why must my nose get all weird whenever the weather changes? This is ridiculous! Just wake me up whenever September finally ends!” Sirius ranted.





Waggling his eyebrows, James replied, “I think you have a rather nice nose, actually. Frank Longbottom did a smashing job.” At this point, Remus and Peter, who were situated in the stands watching the Gryffindor team’s star players practice, doubled over laughing and feigned a coughing fit when Sirius shot them a dirty look worthy of the most ancient and noble House of Black.





Peter always felt like prey whenever Sirius gave him that look, so he thought that he should use a diversionary tactic. “So, Sirius, any big plans for the next full moon? I’ve been practicing my transformation, just like you asked. I’m so excited that you guys could make me an Ani-”





At this point, Remus hurled himself across the distance that had separated them and forcefully clapped a hand over Peter’s mouth. Not wanting to draw attention to them by screaming at him, Remus merely hissed in Peter’s ear, “If you don’t want to find yourself lured into a mouse trap by a big block of cheese, then I would suggest that you maintain your silence.” To clarify, just for Peter, he added, “That means SHHHHHHH!” He then released Peter’s mouth, and put a solitary finger up to his own and added, “Like this.”





James and Sirius, intrigued by the change of subject, bolted to the stands and sat behind their friends, carefully and lovingly placing their broomsticks upon the bleachers behind them. Sirius, not having heard what Remus had secretively told Peter, said, “Wormtail. Seriously, what is your problem? You can’t go around yelling that. It’d be like yelling, ‘Hey, how’s the assassination plan on the Queen going?’ It’s just not done. Do you understand?” Sirius waited and received only a slight nod of the head from Peter. “Sign language is not enough; I need verbal confirmation.” Again, silence filled the void between them. “Why won’t you answer me? Cat got your tongue?” Peter gave Sirius a very, very nasty look and simply pointed at Remus. Sirius followed the finger to Remus, who started talking.





“Don’t even joke about the Queen!” Remus growled frostily.





Highly amused, James whistled and then jokingly added, “Looks like someone fancies the Queen. Is it the crown? Does that turn you on? Or wait, is the scepter? I am personally quite fond of the scepter, but to each his own.” Remus didn’t even dignify that question with an answer. It was obviously the crown. Turning back to Sirius, James said, “It’s apparent that our little Wormtail has been instructed to not speak on order of the crown…- lover.” James and Sirius burst out laughing and Peter’s shoulders shook with mirth.





“Knock it off,” Remus said in his most authoritative voice. “If you guys are going to plan some big thing this next full moon against Holly and Lily… Yes, I know all about it… Don’t let me hear anything because it would be my duty as a prefect to report you. Basically, be like Peter and keep your trap shut. Again, Peter, that means SHHHH!”





Sirius, more than a little miffed, accepted this and stated, “I guess it’s a good thing I wrote out the plans during the snooze class. Binns was about to make me fall over dead with boredom. I just couldn’t have that, so I wrote these up. However, it all relies on James completing this most-vital first task.” At this point, they heard a delicate clearing of the throat. Alarmed, James whipped around, shielding the parchment so that Sirius had the time to stow it away in his bag.





James looked across and noticed that there was nothing. What possibly could’ve made that noise? The next thing he knew, he felt a slight tug on the sleeve of his robe. Looking down, he saw none other than Estrela, his little friend from the train. When she had his attention, she began, “Don’t even, James. I am not stalking you; I do not want to have your babies; and I certainly do not want you to hook me up with Sirius.” She had, yet again, correctly read the thoughts displayed on James’s face. Slightly affronted, she looked disgusted and said, “As if.” Remus sniggered, rather loudly, and Sirius punched his shoulder in return. She continued, “I’m actually here on an errand given to me by Professor Dumbledore. He requests the presence of Messrs. Potter and Lupin at once. I suggest you hurry.” She then winked at James, gave a mocking bow to the foursome, and left just as quickly as she’d come.





After Estrela left, Remus and James remained in a stunned silence. They’d seen Dumbledore many times over the years. Remus had been congratulated on his many academic accomplishments and asked to attempt to keep his three friends out of too much trouble. James had always been sent to Dumbledore for committing some kind of mischievous act, but luckily for him, Professor Dumbledore didn’t seem to believe that he was a true menace, just a good kid with a healthy sense of humor matched with a genuine love of adventure. However, the fact that they’d both been asked, together, to go to Dumbledore seemed a bit ominous. Nothing good could come of it, they were sure. Finally, as if accepting their horrid fate, the two began walking back towards the castle. If the situation wasn’t already weird enough, it was made even odder by the perfect silence that accompanied them on their journey. Both were so wrapped up in their thoughts that they barely seemed to notice when they reached the entrance to Dumbledore’s office. “Pumpkin pasty,” Remus lazily muttered.





As James climbed the winding stairs, he couldn’t help but worry that perhaps this was a meeting to revoke Remus’s prefect badge. Over the years, they had planned a whole lot of pranks and pulled them off effectively, much to the dismay of many of their victims, students and teachers alike. Remus proved himself to be quite the mastermind and could almost always cover their tracks, but Sirius and James would always be two steps ahead of any prefect, even Remus. They knew full well that Remus would not let them be expelled if he caught them, so maybe Dumbledore also viewed him as an instigator, the weakest link in his chain of prefect perfection.





As the pair opened the door, Dumbledore exclaimed, “Ah, two of my most renowned students. As I’m sure you know, you both are two of the prime members of what the faculty has termed the ‘Fearsome Foursome.’ It really has quite a ring to it. My staff members are ever so clever, which is why, of course, they have been given posts at Hogwarts. However, I am not here to discuss the many ‘incidents’ that you have perpetrated in the month of your return in our sacred halls,” Dumbledore reassured them with a slight optical muscle spasm that resembled a wink. “What we are all here to discuss this fine afternoon is a solution to what has been a most plaguing quandary. You see, some of the prefects asked to alter the patrolling schedule. In fact, I let the Head Boy and Head Girl do it themselves. As a result, Remus, you have been assigned to patrol every full moon. Now, of course, I do realize that this would leave you between a rock and a hard place, as I believe the phrase goes. I mean, after all, you completely lose your control (not intentionally of course), have an insatiable desire for human flesh, have an ill-disposed temperament, and generally pose a threat to everyone around you during that time. Remus, to insure that I do not let anyone figure out that you’re a werewolf with too much ease, I have devised a daring plan. I have come to the brilliant conclusion, if you don’t mind my bold lack of humility, that I will allow you to patrol on the full moon …”





At this point, Remus and James could only stare slack-jawed at the presumptive psycho sitting right before their eyes. Dumbledore still did not seem to be finished with his proposition. Was there more to the madness?





“Boys, it shows a great lack of upbringing to provide a safe haven for flies in ones orifice, such as the mouth. Please correct this and let me finish my sentence, if you would be so kind. As I was explaining, I will allow you to patrol the corridors on the full moon…





James.”

Holly thrust open the door to the fifth year girls’ dormitory and yelled, “That damn Black! If I get ONE more cauldron cake laced with Amortencia, which he knows I’m allergic to, I’m going to neuter that son of a bitch!”





Lily, quite amused, lifted her head from her charms book and tried to stifle a laugh as she muttered, “You have no idea…”





“Wait, I thought you had rounds with Remus tonight,” Holly responded. “Oh, do you remember that we’re going to bust Black’s little arse tonight? I can’t believe the idiot started talking about his prank right in front of us. Who does that?”





“Black, apparently,” Lily responded. “Actually, I’m on my way out. How about we meet in front of the Fat Lady’s portrait after I’m done with rounds? Eleven o’clock? Is that good for you?”





“Perfect, Prefect! I’ll see you at eleven sharp! Don’t be late!” Holly shouted as Lily walked out of the room and started her descent down the stairs.





When Lily finally entered the common room, she spotted Remus sitting on the couch in front of the fire, looking very pensive. “Pensieve for your thoughts?” Lily asked jokingly.



Remus looked up nervously and simply shot her a goofy grin. Lily raised a solitary eyebrow and said, “Are you ready for patrols?”





“I was born ready! You should know that by now, Evans,” her partner replied, flashing her a cocky smirk. With that, they walked out of the portrait hole and made their way towards the kitchens, the first place to catch delinquents in search of a panacea for their midnight munchies. Lily noted that Remus was unusually silent, as if not trusting himself to speak.





“Remus, good friend of mine, after all of these years of giving me advice about avoiding Potter, I’d think that you’d be able to compose a simple sentence in my presence. Man, the full moon certainly does funny things to people, wouldn’t you agree?” Lily inquired.





Coughing slightly, Remus stated, “Yeah, I mean, I haven’t even touched my homework yet. That is SO unlike me. I can’t even think of anything more unlike me.”





Lily, noticing his awkward manner, looked at him quizzically, and said, “Remus, you know that we never discuss our schoolwork unless we’re in the library. Does this look like the library to you? I don’t like thinking about my homework any more than I have to, and right now, I really don’t have to, so let’s not even go there.”





“So, um, let’s talk about something that we do talk about then,” Remus uncomfortably responded.





“Well, Cradle-Robber, how’s everything going with Anne Bowlynne?” Lily asked with a smile.





“What? Why would I care about Anne Bowlynne? She’s a second-year. I hardly ever talk to her, and I can’t even recognize her easily because her hair color changes so often. Does anyone actually know what her natural color is? Is it brown? Is it black? Is it blonde? Is it red? I don’t know!”





“Um, you’ve only had a crush on her since the end of last year. You were the one who told me her natural hair color was brown! Silly, Remus!” Lily laughed.





“Of course, I did. I liked her in her first year when I was a fourth year. That’s not weird or awkward at all. No, it’s the new ‘in’ thing. I’m down with that,” Remus said shifting his eyes from left to right in quick succession.





“Well, I’m glad that you’re coming to see that age is just a number, after all. I remember dating a seventh year, Amos Diggory, when I was a second-year. We even made-out under the Whomping Willow. I’ve told you that danger excites me!”





“Wait… WHAT?!” Remus yelled, turning an unflattering shade of tomato red. “You made-out with Amos? He wasn’t even a Gryffindor! He’s not brave! How did you get him to go near that tree?”





“I have my ways, and I’ll just leave it there. You already know the rest of the story, anyways. Oh, look, we’re at the painting of the fruit bowl! Care to tickle the pear?” Lily asked, temporarily distracting her partner.





“Uh, sure. Let’s change the subject, shall we? Would you care for a butterbeer while we’re in here?” Remus questioned.





“Really, Remus, recite The Prefects Code of Honor, Article III, Section V, Clause II. I’ll say it with you.” Lily started, “'On my honor, I will try, to serve Dumbledore and my school, to help students at all times (unless they’re going against our sacred laws), and to not drink alcoholic beverages while on patrol.' Remus, I would’ve expected better from you! Are the other Marauders rubbing off on you a little too much?”





Luckily, as if saved by the bell, a student came towards them wearing a ponytail and what looked like a green face mask that matched perfectly with their Slytherin pajama pants. Remus, trying desperately to impress Lily with his authoritative skills, whipped out his wand and yelled “Stop, Madam. We’re going to need you to come here and explain what you are doing out of your common room after hours.”





As the student came nearer, Lily said, “Severus, I thought that you were supposed to put on your avocado conditioning facemask before nine o’clock.”





“You know I wouldn’t dare risk showing my face, like this, to Potter and his precious Black. I don’t know of any other way that I could ruin my life in one swift blow,” Snape drawled.





“I must agree that Mr. Potter is not the most sensitive of the male gender, but nonetheless, you have broken school rules. Remus, what do you think we should do about this?” Lily queried as she turned to her fellow prefect.





“Nothing. I think that we should let Sniv- Snape go with a mere warning. Don’t do it again, Severus, or we will take away points. Consider this your last and final warning,” Remus stated.





“Thank you, Remus. It won’t happen again, at least not on your watch. Have a… night!” Snape called as he exited the kitchen.





Left standing alone, Lily and Remus remained silent for a few moments. Finally, breaking the silence, Lily turned to him and said, “You know, your friends never would’ve been so kind to Severus. I think that’s why I like you, Remus.”





Remus, looking a little uncomfortable, ran a hand through his slightly unruly hair and grunted, “Well, it’s getting close to eleven, Evans. We should probably get back to the common room.”





Lily laughed and playfully swatted at Remus’s hand ruffling his hair. “You’re becoming more and more like James every minute!” She then smiled up at him and said, “I have to wait out here a minute, so I guess I’ll see you later!” With that, the pair parted, and as Remus walked into his own dormitory, he scrounged around for his glasses and faced the mirror, watching his transformation back into James Potter.