Paradise

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She stood alone in the midst of utter destruction. Lifeless bodies lay scattered among the burning wreckage. Some were covered in blood and she could hardly look at them. Others were piled on top of each other, their heads lolling as if they were asleep. The rest looked as they always did except for the clouds that covered their eyes. Nearby, a fire burned a familiar pink umbrella into ashes. Wands littered the ground, broken in two; their owners no longer had any need for them. The grass that had once been green was scorched black and smoke from raging flames bit at her eyes. Waves of shock flowed through her body, and a tear created a clean line down her dirty face. Everyone was gone…everyone.

She woke to the sounds of her own screams. Sobbing, she rolled onto her side and curled into a ball.

“NO!” she shrieked, her throat aching from crying. “NO!”

A year had passed since that fated day. She was the sole survivor of the battle, but she refused to speak to any reporters. In fact, she hadn’t spoken to anyone since that night. They understood that she wasn’t ready to talk yet. What they didn’t understand was that she never would be.

She crawled out of bed slowly and pulled her robe around her. She padded down the hall, breathing deeply to calm herself. A picture on the wall caught her eye and a sob escaped her. It was he, smiling with his arms around his two best friends. He wouldn’t have been smiling if he had known what was going to happen, she thought. A beloved, yet hated, memory came to her mind at that moment. It was weak at first but grew stronger; she cried as it overcame her, forcing her to remember.

“Hey!”

“Yeah?” He walked towards her, impatience etched in his young face. It was almost time; they both knew it.

“I just…I...” she wrung her hands, clearly nervous.

“Yeah?” he repeated, looking at her intently, urging her on. Her gaze met his, and she knew that she needed to say what she should have so long ago.

“I love you.”

A moment passed, and then he smiled brighter than he ever had before. He pulled her close and kissed her, years of hidden love pouring out of him. She smiled into his lips and wrapped her arms around his neck. They held each other tightly, giving in to every desire as if they knew that they were saying goodbye. He pulled away slowly and whispered in her ear, “I love you too. I always have.”

As she stumbled into the kitchen, more tears escaped her eyes. She shouldn’t be doing this alone. If everything had been like she had wanted it to be, he would’ve been with her right now. She closed her eyes, and imagined his arms wrapped around her waist, his lips kissing her neck, and his hair tickling her ear. He’d probably say something funny, and she’d laugh.

She froze. It had been a year since she had laughed; she couldn’t even remember what her laughter sounded like. A wave of tears slipped from her eyes, and she fell to the floor. She hugged her knees, and another memory came hurtling into her mind.

He yelled in victory as his life-long enemy faded into nothingness. It was finally over. The Boy Who Lived had won again, this time for good. The surrounding fight stopped for a moment, and then the most unexpected thing happened.

“Well…it looks like Potter has saved the day yet again. Too bad he couldn’t save himself,” a cold voice said, breaking the stunned silence.

A flash of green light streaked through the battlegrounds and found its mark. Everyone screamed as their savior fell; he was dead before he even hit the ground. Two heads of flaming hair darted through the crowd.

“NO! Harry!”

They were both dead before they reached him. She stood rooted to the spot, watching as everything around her was destroyed. She saw her friends, her teachers, her allies, and the love of her life dying right before her eyes.

Shaking her head, the memory faded. She stood shakily and attempted to pour herself a glass of water. Today was worse than it had ever been, and she didn’t know if she could handle the pain for much longer. After draining her glass, she wiped her mouth on her sleeve and dared to look outside.

She braced herself against the window sill and looked at the rising sun. The horizon was a delicate pink and soft clouds were laced among the fading stars. A cry filled the air as she remembered the color, and she fell to her knees for the second time that morning.

“NO!” she howled, and she could feel the blood in her mouth, her throat damaged from screaming. No…not Hagrid…no….

He let out a fierce war cry, flinging the opposition every which way. Screams of pain filled the air as his victims landed a hundred feet away, completely broken. He had never been so angry, and the giant in him roared.

“Avada Kedavra!” bellowed an unknown voice from the midst of the battle.

He may have been the strongest person she knew, but all it took was one curse to stop him.

Where ever she looked she was reminded of someone else. The moon, still pale in the morning sky, took her thoughts to Lupin. His final moments replayed in her head and she saw him covered in blood, fatally wounded by Fenrir Greyback. A cat leapt onto a wall outside, and she could clearly hear McGonagall screaming as Lucius Malfoy tortured her to death. A frog croaked loudly from underneath the window, and images of Neville flashed before her eyes. He had managed to finish off Bellatrix Lestrange before Rodalphus pounced on him. She could hear the happy voice of a neighbor, two children laughing, and a car sputtering on by…Tonks, Fred and George, Mr. Weasley….

She couldn’t take it anymore. Tortured screams escaped her lips and tears spilled into her lap. She wanted to run away from it so that she’d never have to remember it again. She got up, darting around in a crazed frenzy, and finally ran into her bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

She crawled back between the covers, salty tears staining her cheeks. She pulled the sheets around her tightly, as if the pressure would take away all of the pain. Her body shook as she failed to suppress her cries. I just want it to go away…make the pain go away….

It had been a year since it had all ended for Hermione Granger. She was the only one left who had seen it all. She lived in agony, revisiting that day every night in her dreams. Each day she wallowed in what could have been, what should have been. As she drifted to sleep, she hoped that she would never wake. All she wanted was to go where she could finally be in peace, where she could finally have her paradise.

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A/N: This is my first attempt at Angst, and I hope you all liked it. This fic was inspired by the song “Paradise” by Vanessa Carlton. It is dedicated to Erin, who I was talking to as I was inspired. And of course, I owe so much to my lovely beta!