Of Mistletoe, Charging Fan Girls, and The Answer To It All

Disclaimer: For heaven sakes! If I were really this world famous author, would I be prancing about a fanfiction site? If you’ve seen it in a Harry Potter book, IT’S NOT MINE!

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Harry groaned as the thought of Slughorn’s party, coupled with the threats of innumerable girls attempting to slip him a love potion ran through his mind. He was lying down in his four-poster, having just awoken from a particularly horrifying nightmare including Romilda Vane, a dirty cauldron, and a rubber chicken.

The clock read 5:32, and upon catching sight of it Harry groaned again. Knowing full well he would never be able to fall back to sleep, Harry got up silently and dressed. Going down to the staircase to the common room, he caught sight of Hermione, sitting in an armchair, and reading a very battered book.

“How many times have you read that book now, Hermione?� asked Harry.

“Twelve,� said Hermione, setting down her weathered copy of Hogwarts, A History. “Why are you up so early?�

“I should ask you the same thing,� said Harry.

“I was just about to send a letter; do you want to come with me?� asked Hermione.

“Sure,� shrugged Harry.

They climbed through the portrait hole, and pushed it open.

“What did you do with those cauldron cakes that Romilda gave you?� asked Hermione.

“I dunno,� replied Harry. “I probably chucked ‘em in my trunk.�

“Well, just don’t eat any by mistake,� said Hermione in mock sternness.

Harry chuckled. “So, how many other girls are planning to sneak me a love potion?�

“Well,� said Hermione thoughtfully, “Katrina Clearwater – you know, Penelope’s little sister; Cressida Bolton – Hufflepuff; Beatrice Sigmon – Slytherin; Eve Parlog – Ravenclaw –�

“Eurgh, Hermione, stop!� exclaimed Harry. “It looks like I’ll have to take a leaf from Mad-Eye’s book and get a hip flask!�

Hermione laughed. The sound filled him with a wretched sense of guilt.

“I’m sorry about Ron,� said Harry quietly. “He’s being a prat – well actually a complete idiot.�

Hermione looked up at the ceiling, as though trying to keep the tears in. “It’s just like in third year, only this time, I have no idea what I did!�

“Well, he said – the thing is – erm –� Harry took a deep breath “Ron and me found Ginny and Dean snogging in a corridor one day. And Ron – well you can guess his reaction – he went berserk, and Ginny said it was only because he was the only one that hadn’t snogged anyone. Well, they were throwing a lot of curses at each other, and I was trying to stand between them. I had Ron pinned up against the wall, and Ginny was behind me, crying that I’d snogged Cho, and you’d kissed Krum.�

Hermione looked dumbfounded.

“Ron asked me if I thought you and Krum had snogged, and I thought you must’ve, but I didn’t say it because Ron was really upset,� said Harry.

“I never snogged Viktor!� said Hermione incredulously. “He tried to get me, but I ducked out of the way and he ended up poking me in the eye with his nose!�

“So, you didn’t fancy him?� asked Harry disbelievingly.

“Of course not,� said Hermione. “I only went out with him to vex Ron.�

“You fancy Ron?� asked Harry, “Is that why you’ve been – er – upset about him snogging Lavender all the time?�

“Harry, Harry,� said Hermione exasperatedly, “That was in fourth year! I’ve been upset about Ron being a complete fool, a hypocrite, and not having any idea why. You’re saying that the only reason that Ron’s been horrible is because he thought I snogged Viktor?�

“Erm, yeah,� said Harry.

“I cannot believe that – that – buffoon!� said Hermione through gritted teeth.

“Erm, yeah,� said Harry, shuffling his feet awkwardly. “Then why do you look like you’re about to cry every time you see them together?�

“Because he’s completely ignoring you and I, and both of them are wasting their time with one another,� said Hermione

Harry, not convinced, raised an eyebrow at her, “You didn’t seem to mind when Cho would come up and kiss me.�

“Yes, but you weren’t sucking each other’s faces off, were you?� demanded Hermione.

“Well, I suppose not,� he said doubtfully. “Have you found anybody to take to the Slug’s party yet?�

“Nope,� said Hermione unconcernedly. “You?�

“Nobody I want to go with. I might go alone…� he said thoughtfully.

“Yes, that way you can continue to be Hogwart’s most eligible bachelor,� said Hermione.

“Say, Hermione?� asked Harry. “Why don’t we go to the party together?�

Hermione looked slightly shocked.

“It’s ok, if you don’t� said Harry hurriedly and looking embarrassed. “I just thought – maybe we could go together as friends, of course – well, why wouldn’t we go together as friends? I mean, after all, we are just… friends,� mumbled Harry.

“I’d love to,� smiled Hermione.

“Great,� said Harry.

“Good thing you asked me,� said Hermione slyly. “Or I might have asked McLaggen.�

Harry stared at her. “Whatever for?� he asked incredulously. “You surely don’t – you can’t –�

“What?� asked Hermione innocently.

“You don’t fancy him, do you?� he asked, uttering the word ‘fancy’ as if it was a very crude and forbidden swear word.

Hermione stopped walking, and stared him in the eye for a moment with a very serious expression on her face, then she burst out laughing. Harry joined in. They reached the owlrey, still chortling.

“Who’s the letter to, anyway?� asked Harry as Hermione tied the scroll to an owl’s leg.

“Viktor, now you mention it,� said Hermione.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

That day’s Transfiguration lesson went – well, you couldn’t call it good. What with Ron and Lavender flaunting their deep love for one another the whole lesson, Hermione looking infuriated, and not to mention the huge heap of homework they got.

Hermione had rushed off to the library the instant that Professor McGonagall had released them. Harry made his own slower way out of the classroom, keen to avoid Ron and Lavender, who had started snogging as soon as they were dismissed.

Harry walked into the corridor then stopped suddenly, trying to remember what he had next, when there was a collective ‘Ooh’ from all around him.

Knowing the worst had finally happened, Harry looked up, and saw with a rush of hatred toward the stupid thing – mistletoe.

“Oh brilliant,� he muttered. Girls of all ages were closing in around him. He knew it would only be seconds before they started attacking him. He whirled around, looking for a gap in the oncoming horde.

And then he saw it – the tiniest gap in between two first years. He bolted, arms over his head as though running from a burning building. He broke free of the confused girls, who were now turning, wondering where Harry Potter had gone.

He ran and turned into another hallway, and as he did, he heard a “THERE HE GOES!� from the corridor from which he had just escaped.

He ran faster than he had ever done before. Through hallways, up and down staircases – all over the place. All the while, screams of schoolgirls echoed after him. Finally, he found the library.

And someone was coming out of it.

“Hermione!� Harry gasped in relief.

“What is it Harry?� asked Hermione, snapping a book closed and putting it in her bag.

“Left – Transfiguration – mistletoe – closed in – ran,� puffed Harry.

“What are y—� began Hermione. But evidently, she got her answer from the sound of many pounding feet and screams approaching. “Oh,� she said quietly.

Harry looked around wildly, hoping for inspiration. His eyes landed on Hermione, who was looking in the direction of the oncoming mayhem, and saw the object suspended above her head.

“Hermione, please forgive me for what I’m about to do,� said Harry quickly. Hermione had no time to even react before Harry had taken her face in his hands and caught her lips with his own.

She dropped her book bag in surprise. Even Harry was stunned at the boldness of his action, but could not help but think that he ought to have tried this earlier. Hermione’s knees turned to jelly as Harry wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her more fervently.

The screams of girls that had been reverberating after him stopped suddenly. Then a girl’s voice rang out.

“Is that – no, surely not – Hermione Granger?� Romilda Vane sounded flabbergasted.

But Romilda’s voice was merely background noise to Harry and Hermione. Harry was kissing her so vehemently, and she was enjoying it so much, that she was having difficulty deciding whether to keep kissing him, or breathe. Finally she was forced to pull her head away, gasping.

“I’m – sorry – Hermione –� said Harry under his breath.

Hermione finally caught her breath. “Harry James Potter!� she said, her voice rising in a scolding tone.

All the girls who had been looking devastated upon finding Harry kissing somebody else looked incredulous. What kind of insane girl would not like to be snogged by Harry Potter? Most would die for the chance.

Harry, who still had an arm around Hermione’s waist looked frozen with fear.

“I would love to go to Slughorn’s Christmas party with you!� exclaimed Hermione.

Harry, catching on, grinned. “Oh, ‘Mione!� he said dramatically. He picked her up, and twirled her around enthusiastically.

The crowd of girls dispersed, grumbling resentfully, leaving Harry and Hermione still in their embrace.

“Do you have any idea how many people hate me now?� asked Hermione, breaking away as the last of the fan girls disappeared around the corner.

“Quite a few,� said Harry. But he wasn’t focusing on answering the question; he was stealing himself to say something. “Hermione, I’m sorry. I – but it – I really did –�

Hermione looked at him as though waiting for him to make sense.

“Oh – balderdash!� said Harry exasperatedly. “Hermione – I’ve fancied you for ages. That’s why I haven’t asked anyone before today.�

In response, Hermione collapsed into him, breathing a sigh of relief. Harry hugged her for a moment, then pulled away, and pointed above them. Hermione looked up, and to her delight saw mistletoe. She looked back at Harry’s mischievous smile.

“Well, who am I to break rules?� she asked.

They wrapped their arms around one another and leaned in slowly, closing their eyes.

“What do you think you are doing Mr. Potter?� asked Madame Pince angrily. She came out of the library, brandishing a wand. “And Miss Granger! You of all people should know that there is a ban on public displays of affection!�

Harry and Hermione blushed furiously and ran. Hermione’s book bag tripped Harry as he bolted away. When they were finally out of earshot of the raving librarian, Harry stopped running and turned to Hermione.

“No public displays of affection?� he asked.

“No,� said Hermione, blushing even redder.

“Even under mistletoe?� asked Harry.

“No,� said Hermione, her voice saddened. “No public displays of affection.�

“Well, then how about private?� asked Harry. He took her by the hand, and they walked down the hall, intent upon nothing but finding the nearest empty classroom.