Redemption

The flames from the old fireplace flickered and crackled in the quiet room. The light from the fire illuminated the face of a gaunt man sitting in an old chair next to the fire. The snow outside beat mercilessly on the glass pane windows of his well kept but desolate house. Severus Snape suppressed a laugh. Alone again on New Years Eve, he thought to himself. He had grown accustomed to it, and quite frankly thought he deserved it after what he had done. A shudder ran up his spine as the memories of the past few months came unbidden once again to the forefront of his thoughts.

He had killed Dumbledore. Granted the old fool had made him do it, even though Severus had tried to talk him out of it. Dumbledore was quite sharp with him, reminding him of his duty. Severus had had to do it, and he had become deeply entrenched in the Dark Lord’s trust; ideally suited for spying. It had helped the Order; he had been able to anonymously send them information that they had been using, but it had left a bitter taste in his mouth. He could no longer enjoy the taste of food. The air seemed cold constantly and the world itself seemed to want to torment him. Good, he thought bitterly, I deserve it. Severus had shuttered himself away here in this house for the past four days. Thoughts of all he had done wrong in his life. The potions he had made for Voldemort when he had first graduated from Hogwarts; The lives he had taken as a Death Eater; Betraying Lily to the Dark Lord… Of them all, that was the worst.

He had not known that fool Trelawney was talking about Lily and that blasted Potter. When he discovered who the Dark Lord had targeted, because of me, Snape had tried to stop him. Of course, trust Dumbledore to put a Fidellius charm on the house. He had no idea where to go.

Then he had heard she died.

They had been close for a short time, he and Lily. She had shown him kindness and friendship. The only person to ever do that. No, Dumbledore had as well. But I killed him too didn’t I.

Severus Snape had never felt worse than he did right now. His eyes flickered over to his wand on the fireplace mantle. He had already cast the charm that would make this house unplottable. Maybe it was a futile effort but he hoped he could stay away from the world forever. The searing pain on his forearm where the dark mark resided reminded him that the Dark Lord was trying to call Severus to him, again. He would be coming to look for him soon.

16 years earlier

James Potter cradled his baby in his arms and walked around his study. Swinging his baby boy in his arms, James had never felt so content. Lily was in the shower, and he was left to take care of Harry, who in James opinion was the best baby in the world. The boy had a full head of black hair, even though he was just six months old. Harry looked up at him and cooed. He had Lily’s eyes. James had never felt so content.

He sat down in the chair Sirius had bought for him. The Old Codger chair Padfoot called it. Perfect for those nights an old man might need to rest his back and reflect on his life. James grinned. Padfoot, Moony and Wormtail had left the night before, finally bringing to an end the Christmas celebrations of the past week.

Harry was slowly dropping asleep. James shifted him in his arms to a more comfortable position and listened quietly to the shower upstairs running. He stared into the flames of the fireplace and almost jumped up when he saw as if looking through a window, Severus Snape, looking very gaunt, and much older than he remembered, sitting in a chair.

“Snape?” he whispered questioningly into the fire.

Severus Snape was many things, but crazy he was not. So when he heard a voice he knew he could not be hearing, the first thought that crossed his mind was that it was a trick. He however did not care to fight it if it was. Maybe Harry or Voldemort had finally found him to finish him off. Good, get it over with. Just then, he looked into the fire and saw James Potter holding a baby, sitting in a chair, staring right at him through the flames of the fireplace.

“Potter?” he cautiously shifted in his chair, but still made no move to reach his wand.

“Yes, what are you doing in my fire, Snape?” Potter demanded quietly of him. Snape was startled. His fire? The man was in my fire! This had to be a trick. Or maybe Potter had finally decided to become a ghost and torment me for the rest if my days.

“You are in my fireplace, Potter. Would you mind telling me why you’ve decided to haunt me, now, after all these years?” Snape tried to sneer at him as best as he could, but could not find it in him. He was defeated. If Potter wanted to torment him he could.

“I’m not, Snape. I’m seeing you through my fireplace right now. I didn’t cast any charm to talk to you. Where are you anyway? Last we heard you were shacked up with Voldemort? The Dark Lord doesn’t treat you too well, does he? You look positively awful.” James said quite smugly to Snape. They had never got along in school, and he had heard that Severus had joined Voldemort. Lily had tried to explain to him once why he should leave Severus alone, but as far as James was concerned Snape was bad to the core.

“Well, Potter, I can’t say I understand what has happened here. But for your information, I worked for your precious Dumbledore and the Order until just recently.” A bitter note had crept into his voice. “And my health is none of your concern.”

“I didn’t say it was, Snivellus. I don’t care one bit what happens to you while you work for Voldemort.” Snape shuddered visibly. He noticed more closely the baby in Potter’s arms. It was Harry, but a Harry without the scar. Panicked, Severus’s mind worked quickly, he was talking to James Potter in the past! Maybe he was being given a chance to atone for his mistakes? Would the fates have given him such a chance?

“Potter, right now, where I am, is sixteen years in the future. I do not know how it is I am able to talk to you, but I feel there is something I should warn you about.” Snape saw Harry stir in James’ arms and a curious feeling welled up in Severus’ chest. “I betrayed you and Lily to the Dark Lord. He thinks Harry is in some sort of Prophecy and he will come for you and kill both you and Lily. You must get Lily out of there. The Fidellius charm will fail, Pettigrew will betray you. Take Lily and leave. Leave now.”

James Potter was startled by the words he heard from the fireplace. Severus Snape giving him a warning? He had mentioned earlier that he worked for the Order, but he was a Slytherin and they were a sneaky bunch. Plus there never was any love lost between the Marauders and Snivellus. Trust Snape to try and turn him against Wormtail. But how did he know about the Fidellius charm that Dumbledore had spoken to them about. It hadn’t been cast as yet, but he had talked to Sirius about being the secret keeper, not Peter. As a spy, Snape was badly informed.

“I don’t know what games you’re playing at, Snape, but it won’t do you any good.” James said quietly into the fire, trying not to wake Harry. He saw Snape shrink back down into his own chair.

“You always were arrogant. Do as you will, I don’t care anymore. But, one last warning, watch out for the rat, he will betray you.” Severus folded his arms and resolutely looked away from the fire, staring instead at the frosted glass as the snow fell outside.

James looked intently at Snape. The man was older, and he looked worn. His skin, while always pale, looked drawn out and tired. With a start, James realized what he was looking at. Whatever had happened to him, Snape had lost hope. James recognized it because he had seen that look before. His own father had been like that before the end, after battling cancer for seven years. James begrudgingly admitted to himself that he could not see even Snape being this way.

“Snape,” he whispered. “What happened to you?”

Snape looked sharply at the fireplace and attempted to sneer once more. He saw the look of genuine concern on Potter’s face and it fueled his anger even more. Who was he to look at me with such pity? No, Severus Snape will not take any pity from anyone.

“I have been through my share of things. I do not warrant your pity nor do I ask for it. Do you want to know what I’ve done? Fine, I will tell you. After I betrayed you, Voldemort killed you and Lily. Harry survived, miraculously, but when he arrived at Hogwarts where I was the potions professor, I made his life a living hell. I had to live as a Death Eater while spying on them for Dumbledore, and then several months ago, I had to kill the only man who I ever really respected, the only one who had ever…” Snape caught himself there. Dumbledore was a great man and he had not deserved his death. “So if you don’t mind leaving me alone now, I think I’ll just wallow in my own contempt for a while. Go back to your family while you can.”

James looked at Severus fiercely. This man betrayed Lily and Harry? Lily dead? And, was he talking about Dumbledore? Does he end up killing Dumbledore? Harry made a small sound and James rocked him gently. He would never let anything happen to Harry or Lily. He would talk to Dumbledore tomorrow and get that Fidellius charm in place, maybe at his summer house in Godric’s Hollow instead of here. No one would think to look for them there.

He remembered all the things Lily had told him about Severus from before. She had befriended him for a short while in Hogwarts. He had confided to her and her to him.
James knew that Severus had been beaten by his Muggle father his whole life. His witch mother had died in childbirth. Severus had run away from home after receiving his Hogwarts letter and had never gone back, preferring to live in a Wizarding Orphanage than to go back to his home. Dumbledore had often had long talks with Severus and was practically his foster father. James had stopped pranking him in their seventh year when Lily finally told him that. Of course, there was no stopping Sirius or Peter. Moony never was much into it, preferring to read quietly than torment Severus.

They sat silent for several minutes. James looked through the flames. He knew what he had to say.

“Snape. I’m sorry for what we did to you in Hogwarts. It was not fair of us to pick on you like that. I…I know you had a very hard life and we didn’t make it any easier. I can’t apologize for everyone, but I can for myself. I am sorry.” There I said it, Lily would be proud of me.


Severus Snape sat shocked in his chair. He had never expected to hear anything like this coming from Potter. Or anyone for that matter. Apologise to me?After all I’ve done to him, apologize to me?

“Potter, after all I’ve told you that I’ve done to your family, why would you apologise to me? I am responsible for your death!” Severus did not understand.

“Well, I can’t say what the future will hold, but Lily has a saying, let sleeping dogs lie. I figure most of the time she’s talking about Sirius,” James chuckled to himself. “But it’s a good saying. Whatever you’ve done in your past is in the past. It’s what we do tomorrow that’s important isn’t it? At least that’s what I get from that saying.”

Severus snorted. Trust James Potter to completely misinterpret such a basic Muggle saying. But his interpretation was interesting he had to admit.

“Besides, Severus,” Snape was startled, Potter had never used his first name before, not even once. “I have to accept some responsibility for what you’ve turned into. I mean we did torment you quite a lot.” Snape saw Potter struggle to keep a smile from crossing his face. Severus scowled at him.

“Yes you did, but that doesn’t excuse my actions. I deserve death, and sooner rather than later I imagine I will face it. Probably at the hands of your vengeance seeking son.”

James was startled at that revelation. Harry would kill Severus? He supposed if Severus really did betray them to Voldemort then Harry would have a good reason. He looked down at the baby in his arms and wondered how anything so small could kill anyone.

“Severus, those things you said. Are they true? Do we really die and Harry lives?”

Severus shook his head in annoyance. “Yes. I would not waste my time or yours with lies.”

James nodded. “Well then if what you say is true, my Harry grows up to be a strong Wizard?”

“Yes, Potter, he does. He grows up to be the only wizard able to kill the Dark Lord. The past six months I’ve heard of his exploits against Death Eaters and the Dark Lord’s Horcruxes, he has advanced more in six months than I would have thought possible. He may rival the Dark Lord in strength before long.” Severus admitted begrudgingly.

James grinned, “Well then, I have to say I’m proud of him. If our dying helps end the reign of terror of that foul evil, and Harry grows up safe and strong, then it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. Severus,” James looked intently at his former nemesis. “I do not blame you for these things. Que Sera Sera. It’s a nice old muggle song Sirius found once, means ‘what will be will be’. I can no more change the future than you could change the past.”

Severus stared at the fire. The words of Potter searing into his cold heart, forever burning a hole in it. Forgiveness? Could he really be forgiven? By this man who he had wronged as much as anyone could be?

Severus slumped back in his chair in wonder. “I do no deserve your forgiveness.”

James shook his head, “I didn’t say you did, but you have it anyway. Here, holding my son, I can hold no grudge against anyone. And I know what you went through as a child, Lily told me. This is not pity, its more…understanding if that makes sense?”

Severus looked at James intently. The shame of him knowing his past was excruciating, but saying he understood? That was just mystifying.

“Potter…I…” Severus held his shaking hands still. “I’m sorry for what I did, will do, to you and Lily…and Harry.”

James smiled at Severus, genuinely smiled. “That’s ok, Severus.”

Severus leaned back in his chair. He looked out the window and saw several Death Eaters coming up the walkway, removing the charms obscuring his house. Severus looked back at the fire, but James was gone.

James Potter could no longer see Severus Snape through the fireplace. He leaned back in his chair, and cradled his son. He stared at the boy’s sleeping face and smiled. The shower upstairs shut off and he heard footsteps crossing to the bedroom. The clock chimed midnight and James got up and walked to the stairs. He turned at the bottom of the stairs back towards the fireplace and whispered quietly, “Happy New Years Severus.”

The Death Eaters burst through the doors and pointed their wands at Severus Snape.

“Snape! We’ve found you at last. The Dark Lord has summoned you and you have failed to come! You know this means death!” The one who spoke began his incantation.

Severus looked into the eyes of the Death Eater and nodded, he made no attempt to protect himself or reach his wand on the mantle. He closed his eyes and waited for the blast he knew was coming.

Surprisingly, all he could think was “Thank you James”

---