Summary: How different would life have been if James had not been after Lily? It would not have made a big difference to most, but it sure would have made a whole world of difference to someone else - Remus Lupin. Take a peep into Remus' mind this Christmas.
Categories: Other Pairing Characters: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 1
Completed: Yes
Word count: 2156
Read: 1367
Published: 01/08/06
Updated: 01/08/06
1. One-Shot by miss padfoot
It was Christmas Eve. Not the finest time of the year, though, according to Remus Lupin, a Gryffindor Sixth Year. There was festive cheer in the air, but that did little to improve his mood. Hollies and garlands of mistletoe decorated the corridors; twelve tall Christmas trees adorned the Great Hall as well. The suits of armour had been bewitched to sing Christmas carols and tiny Professor Flitwick even had little fluttering fairies zooming across his classroom.
But Remus sat alone in the common room; anxiously speculating on what was going to happen tonight, for it was the day of the full moon. He dreaded facing the moon more than usual, probably because he does not have his best friends with him when he transform tonight.
James Potter and Sirius Black had gone to the Potters’ house to spend the Christmas, and Peter Pettigrew had gone to his home. Remus had been invited too, but he had refused because he had not wanted to trouble them. He regretted that deeply now, but nothing could be done. He had not gone home for his parents were going to visit some old friends and he did not really appreciate them shunning him because he was a werewolf. Having nothing much to do, he began to pull out his Transfiguration essay and began to write, not really concentrating on what he was writing.
“You’re working even today?” said an incredulous voice that he had no trouble recognising as Lily Evans’. He wheeled around to see her wearing a cloak and a sceptical expression on her face. Her face was pink, probably by the cold, there was snow in her hair, and she had her wand out and was drying herself. He smiled slightly at her, but hated himself for it immediately. James likes her, she’s out of bounds, he told himself.
“I asked you something, Remus,” she said, still performing the charm.
“I heard you,” he said, in what he hoped was an off-hand voice.
“It’s Christmas,” she complained.
“I know,” he said. “How come you haven’t gone home?” he tried to change the topic.
“Oh,” she said, distracted by the change in topic. “Mum and Dad went to meet Petunia’s fiancé.”
“And you didn’t want to?” he asked shrewdly.
“Well, who would want to? I saw a photograph of him under her pillow last summer, and that’s really worth a life-time,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
“So, you’re staying here?” he asked, as happiness flooded through him.
“Yeah. Katie and Laura gone home, and I thought it would be better if I stayed here and helped,” she said. “Enough about me. Why haven’t you gone home?”
“Oh, Mum and Dad wanted to visit some friends,” he lied.
“What about Potter and Black?” she enquired, narrowing her eyes.
“They’ve gone to James’ house,” he said simply.
“So, just you and me to rule the Gryffindor Tower? Great,” she said, not realising the effect of her words on him. Remus felt a sudden lurch in his stomach, as though something was fighting from inside to burst out. She can’t have meant anything, he told himself, but could not avoid the mental image of him and Lily as the King and Queen, sitting on a throne in the Gryffindor tower with their mascot roaring in the background. It was as though he was caught in the middle of a blissful fantasy. All of a sudden, his conscience took control of him, and he regained his senses. He looked around and saw her staring at him.
“Are you all right?” she asked, eyebrows knitting in concern.
“Never better,” he said, grinning that no one could see what he could.
“Professor Kettleburn wants some help with the Salamanders. Do you want to come?” she proposed.
“Fine,” he shrugged. For now, an excuse to spend time with her was all that he needed.
They walked towards the portrait hole, not paying attention to the Fat Lady who called ‘Merry Christmas’ at their backs. They left the tower and began to walk towards the Forbidden Forest. It was snowing slightly, and the harsh winds whipped their faces. They pulled their cloaks closer to their bodies, to protect themselves from the bitter winds. They reached the outskirts of the forest, and Professor Kettleburn, a short, balding wizard in his late forties welcomed them.
“Ah, Miss Evans, Mr Lupin, if you could give me a hand with these,” he said in weedy voice, pointing towards a group of Fire-Breathing lizards that sat by the blazing fire, in front of him.
“What do you want us to do, Professor?” Lily enquired, politely.
“Professor Slughorn wants some Salamander blood for his Potions classes. If you could take the blood for me to him, dears,” he said.
“Sure, Professor.” He crouched down and put out the fire with his wand. The Salamanders scrambled for warmth, but to no avail. Remus whipped out his wand, and immobilized a few nearby. Next to him, Lily was doing the same thing.
“Easy, now,” Professor Kettleburn said, as not one of the Salamanders moved. They seemed dead. “While you wait, I’ll gather their blood.” He waved his wand and an empty glass bottle appeared. He ran his wand on one of the Salamanders, and the bottle seemed to be filling itself with the blood. When the bottle was full to the brim, he looked up at them. “Here you are, my dears,” he waved his wand, and the bottle corked itself. Lily scooped up the bottle. They waved a good bye to Professor Kettleburn and proceeded towards Professor Slughorn’s office.
They found it difficult to walk on the snow covered grounds, and twice Remus slipped on the slippery icy path. They continued to walk without speaking. Remus’ thoughts began to slip to the coming night. He did not quite have the energy to face it.
“What’s the matter, Remus? You’ve gone quiet.” Lily broke the silence with her question.
He simply shrugged.
They reached Professor Slughorn’s office on the first floor. Lily knocked on the door; they could hear some shuffling inside. Professor Slughorn opened the door, a look of extreme delight lighted upon his face.
“Lily, m’dear,” his voice boomed. “What brings you here on this fine day?” He gave her a syrupy smile and completely ignored Remus. “Why don’t you and join me for a nice drink of Butterbeer? Just got Rosmerta’s new stock exclusively for the Slug Club,” he offered.
“Actually Professor, Professor Kettleburn asked me to deliver this to you,” Lily said and showed him, the bottle of Salamander blood.
“How nice of you, m’dear,” he muttered, his eyes not leaving her face. “If only you were in Slytherin, m’dear, nothing else would please me better,” he stated wistfully.
“I think I belong in Gryffindor, Professor. Why don’t you ask Professor McGonagall to switch places with you?” she said defiantly. He merely chuckled at her impudence.
“Well, we need to be going, Professor,” she said, waving at him. She placed her hand on Remus’ shoulder and steered him out of there, this made him feel as though he had swallowed a whole Butterbeer in one go. She let go of him and as they turned around a corner, they came face to face with Professor McGonagall, who was with Severus Snape, a Slytherin Sixth-Year. He had greasy black hair and was hook-nosed. When their eyes met, Remus could make out the faintest trace of sneer on his face.
“Miss Evans, Mr Lupin, where have you been? I’ve been looking for both of you all morning,” she said, with a hint of annoyance in her voice.
“Sorry, Professor. Professor Kettleburn gave us some work,” Lily said, looking instantly apologetic.
“Well, seeing as you three are the only Prefects remaining, I want you to patrol the corridors tonight. There won’t be much to do, as most of the students have gone home, but there are a few Second-Years you might want to keep an eye on,” she warned.
“No problem, Professor,” she said, grinning. Professor McGonagall walked away and she turned to look at Remus.
“Keep going, Lily. I want a private word with McGonagall,” he said. She just shrugged and walked towards the Common Room, and Snape sent a malicious glance towards Lily, and slouched off. Remus took off after McGonagall and caught up with her before she could reach the staff room.
“Professor, I “ I can’t do Prefects’ duty tonight,” he panted from the effort of trying to match her pace.
Realisation flickered on her face, and she said, “Fine then, tell Miss Evans she has to do it with Snape,”
“Yes, Professor,” he replied, and took one of the shortcuts to the Gryffindor common room. He gave the password to the slightly drunken Fat Lady and walked inside. There was a roaring fire and Lily sat in one of the armchairs.
“Hi,” she said, “What are you up to?”
“Nothing in particular,” he answered looking wary.
“I’d better get some sleep,” she said, standing up from the chair, “Looking forward to doing Prefect duty with you,”
“Lily, you - er “ you need to do Prefect duty alone tonight. Urgent call from home, I “ I need to go,” he lied.
“With Snape, you mean,” she corrected him. Remus hated the tone of her voice, as well as the accusation that reflected on her eyes; but he couldn’t do anything. He only looked at her helplessly. She went up to her dormitory and remained there. At sunset, Remus alone walked across the grounds, to the Shrieking Shack. He transformed and spent the whole night howling into the darkness, hurting himself, while Lily finished her patrolling and had a peaceful night’s sleep. He re-transformed in the wee hours of the morning, and came back to the common room, and reached his dormitory. He fell asleep even before his head hit the warmth of his bed.
*
Christmas dawned, bright and cold. The ground was knee-deep in snow; Remus was suddenly awoken; he sat up and yawned. His legs were still sore; his face had small cuts and blisters. Although Madam Pomfrey had insisted to keep him for the night, he had managed to shake her off. He looked by the foot of his bed, and saw a small pile of presents; there were four; one each from James, Sirius and Peter, and another from his parents. After opening the presents, he went to the common room, and sat down on one of the armchairs by the dying fire. He heard a shuffling noise behind him, and saw Lily climbing down the stairs. She was wearing a new jumper, and wished him a ‘Merry Christmas’. Her hair fell onto her shoulders; making her look like an angel without wings. She came closer to him, and he saw that she held a big parcel.
“Whatever happened?” she asked apprehensively, eyeing his wounds.
“Nothing much,” he said shortly.
“Well, Merry Christmas, Remus,” she said, and held out the big parcel to him.
He gasped. “You “ you needn’t have bothered-” he spluttered.
“C’mon, take it,” she commanded him. He opened the parcel, and there was a leather bound book on Charms, with every possible charm that has been in use till date. Remus felt a twinge of guilt, as he had nothing to give to her. She probably sensed it, because she gave him a look that plainly said, “You needn’t give me anything, you know.”
“Well, thanks,” was all that he could manage.
“How did you get yourself hurt?” she asked, as she eyed the cuts on his face.
“Oh,” he said, thinking quickly. “When I went home yesterday, I played with my rabbit and it kind of played with me, too,” he said, faking a smile.
“Shouldn’t you see Madam Pomfrey?” she said worriedly.
“Er- no, I’ll be fine,” he assured her.
“Well, whatever you say. Those cuts seem nasty to me,” she said, moving closer to him, and he felt all jittery. He stared into her green eyes, reminding him of a pool of water. She traced his cut on his forehead with her hand; this made his heart melt like snow. He let out a soft moan, and a strange sense of passion mixed with deep anguish exploded from the bottom off his heart…What wouldn’t he give to make her his own? Ah, he reflected bitterly, if only James wasn’t in love with you…if only you could be mine…
A/N: Thanks to the nutty imp for Beta-ing this. Tell me what you think, this is my first Romance fic (*cough*in a nice review*cough*)
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.