Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling created the character’s, the setting, and the whole plot, though mine, was spurred by her. Anyone who didn’t know this already really shouildn’t be reading this story. Or any Harry Potter story. Ever. And the verses at the beginning are from “The Gulf War Song� by Moxy Früvous. I just thought they fit the story well.



Is That How it Always Will Be?


CHAPTER ONE - CONFESSIONS AND PREPARATIONS


‘What makes a person so poisonous righteous
That they’d think less of anyone who just disagreed?’

‘And history seems to agree
That I would fight you for me,
That us would fight them for we.
Is that how it always will be?’



“I want out,� said Harry in a shaking whisper.

Ron, Hermione and Ginny (who had firmly refused to be left out) huddled with Harry in a corner of the quiet common room.

“Why is it always me?� asked Harry bitterly. “Why do I have to be the flaming ‘chosen one?’�

“Because no one else would be able to handle it?� suggested Hermione quietly, casting Harry a small smile. Harry didn’t seem to notice.

“Well, I’m not having a marvelous time of it myself, am I?� he shot, voice rising steadily. “You’ve all been talking about it like this is some little challenge that I’m just too big-headed to work out!�

“We don’t –� started Ron.

“Well it’s not!� plundered Harry hotly. “Voldemort killed my parents! It’s his fault Sirius is dead! He’ll kill everyone I care about to get to me, and he’s going to succeed too unless I flaming murder him! I’ve had enough of my blood life. I don’t want to deal with this! I’m done! I want out! I’m sick and tired of being ‘Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived.’�

“Then don’t be,� said Ginny swiftly. Her chin was rested casually in her hands and her toe was tapping gently to a tune Lavender Brown was humming a few chairs over.

“Oh,� snarled Harry sarcastically. “It’s that bloody easy is it? Well excuse me, I’ll just go swap lives with someone else! Silly me!�

Ginny gave a hollow laugh.

If you don't want to kill him,� she snapped, “then don’t kill him. But do something about it! Moping around here certainly isn’t going to help anything! Do you honestly think wallowing in self-pity is going to get you out of this? I didn’t think you were that daft, Harry.�

Harry leapt to his feet and towered over Ginny, fists clenched and teeth barred. Ron and Hermione sank back into their chairs in fright.

“This isn’t little kid stuff,� said Harry coldly. “Everyone I ever dared love is dead thanks to Voldemort –� Ron whimpered “– and the only chance I have to avenge them, the only chance the world has to survive rests on whether or not I murder the most evil and quite possibly most powerful wizard in history!�

“You’re the most powerful wizard in history, Harry!� piped Colin Creevey from across the room, giving Harry a thumbs-up. Only then did Harry realise he was shouting.

“Shut-up, Harry,� Ginny said cooly. “I know it’s hard but –�

“No you don’t!�

Ginny glared at him.

“I know it’s hard,� she repeated in a deadly calm, “but that’s never stopped you before. I never thought I’d see the day when The Great Harry Potter would back down from a challenge.�

“Look, Harry,� said Hermione quickly before Harry could hit Ginny, which he looked on the verge of doing anyway. “Just ... look at it logically: you don’t want to kill V-Voldemort. Actually, you’re not even phsycologically capable of murder. You’d probably rather die than kill anyway ...�

“Well that’s not an option either, is it?� shot Ron, jumping to Harry’s defence. “If Harry dies, the whole lot of us die! Even the muggles. If you’re actually suggesting that Harry be killed by You-Know-Who ... well, you’d be mental!

“He’s the only chance we have of ever defeating him. V-V-Vol-Voldemort.�

Ron shuddered and the others stared at him in shock.

“I never said Harry had to die,� Hermione said softly, recovering from the shockof Ron’s new development. “But he doesn’t have to kill him either.�

Harry cursed loudly and threw himself back into his chair.

“What the bloody hell are you going on about?� asked Ron, glancing between Hermione and Ginny; he was trying very hard, for Harry’s sake, to look angry when he was really just itching to find out what Hermione’s brain had cooked up.

Ginny leaned forward in her chair and grasped Harry by the shoulders.

“Talk to him Harry –� she started.

“Oh, that’ll be pleasant!� spat Harry. “I’ll just waltz into Voldemort’s lair and have a nice little chat over tea, shall I?�

Ginny ignored him.

“He has human in him,� she said. “He has you in him.� Her voice dropped to barely more than a whisper and Harry caught something vaugely like affection in it. “All the love you have inside you is in him, Harry. It’s in his blood. He can love now. He can forgive. And Harry, you can forgive too.�

She released his shoulders and walked away, stopping at the base of the staircase to the girl’s dormitories just long enough to meet Harry’s eyes and smile just enough to confirm the affection he’d caught earlier.

Ron and Hermione were gaping at her. They had both expected Ginny to release upon Harry the wrath of the youngest Weasley. Maybe Ginny still did see somethng more than friendship in Harry.

Harry tured toward the fire, crackling brightly in the grate and sighed heavilly.

“Why?� he murmured gently. “Why is Voldemort the way he is? Why is everyone so eager to fight?� He paused and his eyes glistened with the tears that stung as he fought them back. “I just don’t understand. Why do they want to fight? To kill? I’ve got to the point where I don’t even want to hit him anymore, and he hasn’t tried to hurt anyone as much as he’s tried to hurt me. So why do they want to fight?�

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Come Along now, hurry up! The coaches are about to leave!�

Professor McGonagall’s sharp voice sliced through the restless babble of the students milling around the Hogsmeade coaches.

Harry shot meaningful looks at Ron, Hermione and Ginny and they followed him grimmly into an empty coach. Harry’s heart raced in his chest and he repeated a few choice words under his breath. Hermione chewed her lower lip, Ron was wringing his hands nervously and Ginny kept glancing out the window warilly at McGonagall as though she expected Voldemort to leap out from under her cloak.

Over the last month, beginning just after their discussion in the common room, the quartet had been haunting the library and stealing around the school under Harry’s invisibility cloak trying desperately to pick up on any clues as to where Voldemort could be hiding. Alas, it had been to no prevail until Lucius Malfoy visited the school ...

***flashback***

Harry and Ron crouched silently under the invisibility cloak in a tall oak wardrobe in Dumbledore’s office. Dumbledore, himself, was pacing up and down the room, brow furrowed in thought. It was stiflingly hot and Ron was half-asleep, slumped against the back wall. Harry, on the other hand, was wide awake and quite alert, listening for anything to help his search. However, the flickering firelight that filled the office was beginning to makehis eyelids droop ...

“Dumbledore!� Ron jolted awake at Harry’s side.

Lucius Malfoy strode into the room, robes billowing out behind him. He scanned the room with steely eyes and rested on Dumbledore with a look of pure loathing
Dumbledore didn’t flinch..

“Good Evening, Lucius,� he said swiftly. “Out of Azkaban so soon?�

Mr Malfoy sneered at the old man.

“For your information, Dumbledore, the Dark Lord had me under his control via the Imperius Curse. You understand, of course, that there was nothing I could do. The Dark Lord has great powers indeed. The Wizengamot sympathized with me. It’s really a shame you weren’t at the trial. It would have done an old fool like yourself good to see that he’s not always right.�

“Ah, of course,� said Dumbledore, he sounded lightly amused. “An I suppose you’ve been passing the blackmail through Draco this time? It would have been quite an inconvenience to pass threats out of Azkaban.�

Maloy scowled as Dumbledore casually reached for his wand.

“Now, Lucius,� he said calmly. “As I’m sure you undersstand, I can’t allow you to be roaming the school. I will not let any harm come to my students.�

Malfoy thrust his hand into his pocket and shot a stunner at Dumbledore which was cleanly deflected.

Harry whipped out his wand and reached for the door to the wardrobe but Ron flung himself onto Harry’s soulders and forced him back.

Dumbledore brought his wand down through the air and it gave a mighty crack that shook the windows. When the smoke cleared, Lucius Malfoy was on the ground bleeding profusely where he had hit his head on the floor. With a flick of his wand, Dumbledore levitated Malfoy’s body in front of him and started down the stairs. Before he left, however, he glanced at the wardrobe where Harry and Ron crouched with a twinkle in his eye.

As soon as the old man disappeared, Ron and Harry leapt from theirhiding space and sprinted to the door to get out as fast as possible.

“Ron,� breathed Harry suddenly. He pointed a quivering finger to a scrap of heavy parchment on the floor. It was splattered with blood which proved Harry’s theory that it had belonged to Lucius Malfoy. He crouched down, smoothed out the parchment and read aloud:

‘Letum Specus can be found at The Cave in the Mountains, Hogsmeade’

***end fllashback***

Letum Specus, Hermione had informed them later, was Latin for Death Cavern, which appeared to be the name of Voldemort’s lair, and was obviously protected by the Fidelius charm. Therefore, that single bit of parchment was enough to get the four of them into Letum Specus and, as Ron pointed out quite quickly, right into Voldemort’s clutches. Harry would not be swayed from the plan. They memorized the adress and the parchment had been burnt.

So now they sat in a small coach, wands in their pockets, preparing to face the Dark Lord again. Except this time it was by choice. There was no hostage, it was no trick. Therefore, they were all terrified out of their minds.

Their thoughts were suddenly jolted back to the present when a fifth person scrambled into the coach.

“Do you mind if I sit here?� asked Neville Longbottom as he sat next to Ginny. “See, Malfoy found me in my first coach and well, you know Malfoy, so he – er – am I interupting something?� He had suddenly noticed the four piercing pairs of eyes glaring at him.

Ginny glanced at Harry with a determined glint in her eye. Ron and Hermione exchanged dark looks.

“Well, Harry,� Ginny said slowly. “If anyone has the right ...�

“No.�

“Oh, come on Harry! He could have been in your shoes! You can’t just –�

“No!�

Neville’s face became quite pink and he locked eyes with Harry.

“What are you doing?� he asked firmly. “If this has anytihng to do with You-Know-Who –�

“’s nothing, Neville,� muttered Ron. Ginny kicked him hard in the shins and glared at Harry.

Harry sighed in defeat but refused to meet Neville’s eye. “We know where he is.�

For a moment, Neville looked as though he might faint, but he pulled himself together and crossed his arms.

“Then I’m coming,� he said grimly. “Don’t try and stop me. Harry needs more than three people! I can help hold off the Death Eaters to give Harry a clear pathway to You-Know-Who. I’m – not afraid.�

His round eyes flashed with determination.

Hermione and Ginnyy seemed to agree heartilly with Neville, Ron was in shock from his pledge of courage and Harry hadn’t the patience to argue.

“Fine,� said Harry. “Hermione will tell you the plan.�

CHAPTER TWO - THE FINAL BATTLE

The next two hours slipped from Harry’s grasp as if he were trying to hold a handfull of water. Before he knew it, he was leadind a small procession up a mountain on the outskirts of Hogsmeade. The sun beat down on the back of his neck and his trainers cut into his ankles.

Harry, Ron and Hermione had followed that trail before to visit Sirius when he was in hiding. They assumed that Voldemort was using the same cave, but presumed that he had made it much larger, as it was barely the size of Harry’s bedroom when Sirius used it.

“Nearly there,� panted Harry.

“I reckon we should slow down a bit,� Ron said. “We don't want to be exhausted when we get there.� The others nodded and looked a bit aghast at the amount of sense that he had made.

The five of them trudged steadilly up the mountain. Harry cursed under his breath, time seemed to have slowed down now, so his mind had more time to torture him. What was he thinking? Voldemort surely wouldn’t let Harry forgive him. Voldemort’d kill him anyway!

Hermione gasped and stopped dead, forcing Harry’s mind back to the mountain. Lucius Malfoy was sweeping back and forth along the path about a hundred yards away accompanied by Bellatrix Lestrange and Antonin Dolohov.

Harry and the others shrunk back behind a couple boulders and strained their ears to the conversation above them.

“I can’t believe you lost it!� snapped Bellatrix. “Who knows how long we’ll be here?�

“What if someone found it?� grunted Dolohov. “They’d be able to get in!�

“Don’t be an idiot,� drawled Malfoy. “They woudn’t know what Letum Specus was. Besides, the guards would finish them off.�

“Master is not going to be pleased, Lucius,� Bellatrix said. “That was our ticket in, and if we can’t get in ... well, The Dark Lord doesn’t like to be kept waiting.�

Ron looked at Hermione in awe, her Fidelius theory having been proved correct.

Harry, meanwhile, had poked his wand around from behind the stone, taken careful aim and muttered, “Stupefy.� Dolohov hit the ground heavilly and Malfoy and Bellatrix snapped their heads around.

“I’m not hiding,� muttered Harry and stepped out into clear view followed closely by the others.

“Why, Bella!� Malfoy spat. “We have company.�

“EXPELLIARMUS!� bellowed Neville from behind Harry’s back. The spell grazed Bellatrix’s ear and she glared at Neville.

“The Longbottom boy,� she drawled. “I’ve been meaning to do some ... catching up with you.� She rolled up her sleeves and brandished her wand. Harry raised his arm to keep Neville being irrational, but Ron was already holding him back after Neville had tried to make a tremendous leap at Bellatrix,wand forgotten.

Bellatrix shrieked with laughter. “These kids get me every time. Look at them, ready to fight. It was just pure luck you got away last time, kiddies. If that old koot, Dubledore, hadn’t shown up ...� Malfoy had cringed at Dumbledore’s name and shot Bellatrix a scathing look that shut her up mid-sentence.

“Take care of them, Bella,� Malfoy said off handedly and strode away. Obviously Lucius Malfoy thought he was too important to deal with such trivial matters. Bellatrix turned on the five of them and her lip curled.

“CRUCIO!� she bellowed.

Hermione hit the ground instantly with a shriek of torment. She writhed around on the ground in agony for a few seconds before Harry recovered from the shock and tried to help her. Ron, on the other hand, was already sprinting at Bellatrix and fumbling for his wand.

“Harry,� Ginny hissed. “Take Neville and go get Malfoy.� Harry hesitated but one look from Ginny sent him dashing up the mountain, Neville on his tail.

“PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!� Ron roared. Bellatrix’s wand clattered to the ground and splintered before she siezed up and hit the ground, straight as a board.

Ron was at Hermione’s side in a heart-beat, helping her up and murmuring words of reassurance. He was totally unaware of the blood that had splattered his robes when Bellatrix’s head made contact with a sharp stone.

“Ron,� whispered Ginny in fright, who was standing over Bellatrix.

“You’ve killed her.�

Ron stood up abruptly, Hermione still clinging to his arm and jogged over to the form of the petrified Death Eater. One look at her eyes told him Ginny was right. The cuontless times he’d used that jinx the victims eyes zoomed back and forth, as if begging to be released. Bellatrix’s eyes were empty and still.

“It’s a trick,� he said, more to himself than anyone else. “She wants us to lift the spell so she can attack us.� Hermione shuddered and hid her face in Ron’s shoulder. Ginny lookedat her brother solemnly.

“We’ll be ready for her,� Ginny said, pointing her wand at Bellatrix’s chest, “if it is a trap.�

Ron nodded and muttered, “Finite Incantatem.�

Bellatrix’s arm, which had been locked to herside, hit the dirt and her body slumped against the ground. Her eyes rolled back into her head and her chest fell.

“She’s just tricking us,� Ron said hysterically as Ginny nudged Bellatrix with her toe. “I didn’t – I couldnt – I mean –� Ron’s face went very pale and he slumped to his knees. “I killed someone. I did. I’m a murderer. I knew that there would be deaths ... of course I did ... I knew I’d fight ... but – but I killed someone. I’m just like them. I’m like a Death Eater. I’m like V-V-Voldemort.�

Hermione slapped him. “Don’t ever say that again Ron,� she snarled. “You’re nothing like them! Mistakes happen! You didn’t mean to... to kill her. You’d never murder anyone Ron. Surely you know that! You’re kind and sweet and gentle –�

Ron touched his face where Hermine hit him and looked at her. She turned red and dropped her eyes.

“You really think that?� he asked softly. “You think all that about me?�

“Of course I do! You’re my best friend!� Suddenly Hermione saw Ginny, pale in the face and still string at Bellatrix. Then she saw Harry and Neville returning triumphantly and she blushed, obviously disgusted at herself for choosing such a time to spill her feelings for Ron.

Harry approached slowly, a grin on his face. Then he saw Bellatrix and he stopped dead. The blood gushing from beneath her black hair and the empty presence in her eyes told him immidiately that she was dead. Ginny told him and Neville quietly what happened as Ron forced himself not to look at Harry, he looked purely ashamed.

Harry didn’t know how to feel.

“I should be happy,� he said out loud. “She killed Sirius, it’s the revenge I tried to take at the Ministry of Magic.� – the others looked shocked at this statement, having never heard about Harry’s one and only shot at an unforgivable curse – “So then ... why don’t I?�

“B-Because,� Neville stammered. “Because you realized that you never really wanted her to die. You wanted her to feel pain, just so she would have some idea of what she did to you, but that no one deserves to be murdered.� Harry understood at once that Neville was talking just as much about himself as he was Harry, but Ginny and Hermione stared at Neville in disbelief. Ron was just sniffing on the ground, staring at his hands as if they were horrible weapons of war that he culdn’t bare to have attatched to his limbs.

“Come on,� Harry said finally. “It’s time to do what we came here to do.� The others followed him up to a stone pannel in the mountain where a cave should have been. On Harry’s command they all repeated the adress from the parchment in their minds and the stone pannel slid open with a formidable grinding.

Inside was a dimly lit cave. Sinister shadows were cast by stubs of candles in wall brackets which made even a spider scuttling along the wall look imensly forboding.

“Harry,� said Ginny nervously. Harry turned around at once, it was not at all like Ginny to be so hesitant. “Um – I need to tell you something now, so you’re not surprised and angry later ... I – I left a note for Dumbledore.�

“You what?� Harry said loudly. “He and the order’ll show up here and clear out the lot before I can even see Voldemort! This was your bloody idea in the first place and now you’re the one to flub it up!�

“Shut up, Harry!�

“I WILL NOT!�

“No, I’m serious, someone’ll hear you! Just shut up!� Harry bit his tongue and contented himself just glaring at Ginny with utmost disgust.

“Don’t you look at me like that, Potter,� she growled. “I do have your best intrests in mind! Just because you can’t logically –�

“Will you two lay off eachother until we’re not in a cave full of Death Eaters? Thanks,� said Ron dryly.

“You know,� said Hermione as they continued walking, “I’m really surprised we haven’t some across any sort of trap yet. Or a guard. Or anything!� Just then, the candles all flickered out.

“Thanks a million, Hermione,� Ron squeaked. “Now you’ve done it.�

“I did no such – AAAAAH!� Hermione’s scream pierced through the darkness and a sickening crack that followed made Harry cringe as he groped through the darkness for her.

“Ugh! Damn it, Lumos!� he said desperately. His wand tip cast light upon Hermione who was nursing a broken leg on the floor. Ron hoisted her up and she leaned on him so she could limp along.

“What happened,� wimpered Neville.

“I didn’t slip,� Hermione said angrilly through barred teeth. “It felt like someone kicked me, but there’s no one else here. Unless ...� She let go of Ron and leaned against the wall for support, pressing her palms against as much of the dingy stone as she could.

“What in blazes –� began Ron,but he was cut off by a gasp from Ginny and Hermione crying, “Ah-ha!�

Part of the cavern wall had given way under Hermione’s touch and a doorway was opening up in front of her. She rested against Ron again with a triumphant smile and he squeezed her shoulders encouragingly.

Ginny grabbed Neville by the arm and dragged him through the door.

“We’ll go first,� she said firmly. “We can’t afford Harry getting hurt ... yet ... and Ron has to help Hermione.� Hermione blushed and cursed under her breath. Ron gaped at her.

“Why did I have to get hurt!� she moaned. “I’ll just be a drag now!� Harry never heard what Ron said to comfort her because his eyes suddenly rested on a grimy wooden sign chained from the ceiling with the words “Letum Specus� carved into it.

“Well, mates,� he said. “Here we are.�

Harry cautiously moved forward into the room ahead. It was a cavernous chamber with many torches along the stone walls, each bearing the Dark Mark. However there was little time to examine the decor because the moment they stepped inside a single Death Eater in the corner leapt to his feet.

“Avada Kedavra,� he said, somewhat lazily at Ginny who was nearest. Harry leapt forward and muttered “Protego,� which, combined with the identical shield Ginny had jus produced, deflected the curse right back at the Death Eater. He ducked swiftly and the green beam of light left a smoking hole in the wall behind him. Ginny whirlled around as if she had half a mind to tell Harry off for not leaving her to deal with the curse but then decided against it. Hermione deflected an “Expelliarmus,� aimed at Harry and stunned the Death Eater with a single, acurate spell.

“Now where’s Voldemort?� Harry muttered to himself, eyes scanning the chamber.

“And why would we tell you?� cackled a high-pitched female voice from behind him. Harry whipped around with a new fear in his eyes as he met at least two dozen Death Eaters approaching them, looking almost hungry with anticipation of the blood that was bound to be spilt.

“GET AWAY FROM THEM, YEH BLOODY BRUTES!� Harry stared in awe with a new apriciation for Ginny. Hagrid was storming toward them, swinging his fists at Death Eaters. Behind him was a rather large procession of Order members; only Dumbledore wasn’t present and Harry’s heart sank.

The Death Eaters recovered quickly from the shock and resumed a fighting stance. Then the battle really started.

Death Eaters, Order members, Harry Potter and his closest friends ran at eachother with loathing etched into every line on their determined faces. It was nothing too serious at first, mainly stunners and disarming. The first shock was really when a masked Death Eater used the Cruciatus on Neville. The Death Eater seemed to be greatly enjoying himself as he let Neville continue to writhe on the ground and cry with agony. It looked as though he was waiting for Neville to go insane, as his parents had. Ginny flung herself at the Death Eater and jerked his wand away, clinging onto his neck. He threw her off and Hermione stunned him.

Harry slunk carefully around the walls and pulled Ron and Hermione behind a large statue.

“I need to fid him quickly,� Harry whispered frantically. “I reckon if I deal with him now there’s less time for the Death Eaters to do much harm.�

“But where is he?� asked Ron nervously, casting his eyes around the room.

“I have no flaming idea!� hissed Harry, punching the wall. Hermione chewed on her lower lip in concentration, suddenly her mouthmade itself into a perfect “O� and her eyes opened wide.

“I don't think you have to worry about that, Harry,� she whispered, pointing a quivering finger over his shoulder. She had just seen a skeleton-like figure with blood-red eyes slip behind a tapestry into a door beyond.

“Wish me luck,� said Harry simply and dashed forward.

He weaved in and out of the people, creating a shield charm so as not to be hit. His only concious thought was to get to that door before a Death Eater could stop him. He heard a roar from behind him but didn’t look. He couldn’t look. He didn’t see Hagrid fall.

Harry neared the tapestry, stomach burning. Voldemort was just behind there, he cold taste it on the air. Glancing over his shoulder to make sure no Death Eater was tailing him, Harry thought something was wrong in the battle. He didn’t notice the absesence of the half-giant towering over everyone else. He didn’t look for the cause of Hermione’s tears. Harry reached out for the tapestry but it had barely touched his fingers when the hidden door blasted open from the inside. Lucius Malfoy was striding toward him and he stumbled back in shock and horror. He laughed and raised his wand.

“Surely you didn’t think you’d seen the last of me,� he cackled. Say bye-bye, baby Potter.� Harry ran. He dodged Malfoy and heard him scream “AVADA KEDAVRA!� A horrible rushing sound filled his ears but he didn’t look back. All he knew was that he was alive. Malfoy had missed. Flying through the door behind the tapestry, Harry stopped, gasping for breath. He locked the door behind and hurried down a spiral staircase in front of him, regulating his breathing as if he’d forgotten how. He skidded to an abrupt stop at the bottom, much less repared for the shock than he elieved himself to be. Wormtail was crouching in a corner beside Lord Voldemort who was pacing the dank room. Voldemort raised his wand to Harry’s chest as soon as he made eye contact. Those horrible, red eyes. Harry didn’t even flinch. He held his wand in front of him and placed it on the ground, then stood tall and faced Voldemort. Somehow, all the fear and regret had drained from Harry and suddenly all he wanted was to free his friends. Voldemort did’t seem intimidating at all.

“I’m not armed,� Harry said steadilly. “I want to talk.� Voldemort looked highly amused and lowered his wand.

“I heard the prophecy,� continued Harry firmly. “It said that I’m the only one with the power to vanquish you, that you will mark me as an equal, that I will have power you don’t know and that in the end one of us has to kill the other.� Harry said this all on one breath and foced himself not to grin at the perplexed look on his arch nemisis’s face.

Voldemort regained his composure and chuckled under his breath. “Why do you tell me this, Potter?�

“Because I don’t want it to happen,� Harry said. He ploughed on, wanting to say all he could before Voldemort could get a word in. “I don’t want to kill you. I don’t want vengence. I don’t want to see you suffer. I forgive you. I forgive you for murdering my parents. For training your Death Eaters to kill Sirius and all those other innocent people. I forgive you.� Harry’s voice cracked and tears stung the backs of his eyes. Voldemort stared for a moment and then he smiled. Harry sighed with relief until Voldemort opened his mouth. He was laughing. Cold, high-pitched laughter that stung his chest and brought back memories ... his mother’s screaming ... but Harry refused to take back his forgivness. He left his wand on the floor and faced Voldemort, extending his arm for a handshake, a truce. Voldemort stopped laughing, raised his wand and sneered.

“Avada Kedavra.� Harry made no attempt to escape. He closed his eyes, held his breath and prepared to die. He would be with Sirius. And his parents.

A moment later, Harry blinked his eyes open. He was still alive. Glancing questioningly at Voldemort Harry saw his foe staring in horror at the ground between them where, to Harry’s surprise, Wormtail was flat on his back, spread eagle, and very dead. Harry stared and stared but it refused to sink in. Wormtail had taken the curse for him. Harry raised his head to Voldemort. Voldemort’s spider-like hands were rigid and clasped to his chest, a look of horror and pain on his awful face. Something very odd was happening. Harry stepped backward as Voldemort fell to his knees, gasping for air, clawing at his chest.

“Get it out,� he was hissing. Voldemort fell onto his back, eyes wide open in shock and in pain. He was still alive, but barely. Harry crouched beside him and placed a hand on his chest. He had no inkling why, his body seemed to be moving for him. A jolt shot through Harry from his hand where it touched Voldemort and he was overcome with an odd tingling sensation. Voldemort’s red eyes were growing darker. Harry stared intently as they turned brown, human. Voldemort gave a final hiss as his eyes closed and his hand dropped to his side. Harry felt no heart-beat beneath his palm. Voldemort was dead.

Suddenly, Harry felt very strong, overcome with a triumphant feeling that he couldn’t escape and he cursed himself for it. He couldn’t feel that way! He had forgiven this man who was, truly a man again. He had tried to stop the death of either of them and Voldemort had died anyways. The prophecy had fulfilled itself.

The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... born to parents who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies ... and the Dark Lord will mark him as an equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not ... and either must die at the hand of the other for niether can live while the other survives ... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies.


Harry got to his feet and headed back out to the battle. Voldemort was dead; his heart gave a little leap at the thought, in spite of himself. The world was saved, widard and Muggle alike. Harry stepped out into the dingy , feeling triumphant; until he looked around.

Blood was spilt all across the stone. It was abandoned of the living. Only a few bodies littered throughout the room, however there were many less bodies than there were fighters. Harry jogged forward toward the door to Letum Specus with dread spreading throughout his body. His heart pounded in his ears as he followed the trail of blood down the narrow corridor where he had entered with his friends. It seemed like a life-time ago. Stepping out into the grey dusk out on the mountain Harry saw a horrible scene.

Bodies were strewn all over, Harry couldn’t tell which were stunned and which were dead. A morbid curiosity forced him to look at their faces and he recognized a fair few of them. His commrades who had not yet fallen were desperately fighting the remaining Death Eaters with looks of grim determination etched into everyline of their pale faces.

He saw Ginny’s face first among them, her eyes were large and shining with tears but her face was set and she plunged back into battle, desperate not to show her grief. His heart leapt into his throat and he struggled not to cry.

One body caught his eye far more than any other and all attempts to stop the bitter tears were forgotten. Hagrid was on his side in the dust, his wild hair matted with blood, eyes open and empty. His face showed pure terror. Harry moaned at the sight of his fallen friend and tried to force his eyes away. He couldn’t bare it.

Suddenly, Harry’s eyes grew wide and round at something a few hundred yards away from him. The few remaining battle cries seemed so far away and a poignant silence defeaned him as he sprinted forward and stood over two very familiar people. A tall, gangly figure was still and silent on the ground. His red hair was nothing in contrast to the blood oozing from his forehead. His blue eyes had lost their twinkle and now were grey and empty. His face was stone. He looked like a man, and, Harry was sure, he’d died like one. Hermione crouched over his body, heaving with tormented sobs that pierced the strangling silence. Silvery tears squeezed between her fingers and mingled with Ron’s blood.

Harry couldn’t move. It was as if every muscle in his body has siezed up from shock and from the excruciating pain that threatened to kill him every second he spent staring at his fallen best friend. Suddenly, the sound returned to Harry’s world and he heard the clattering of many feet. Tearing his eyes off Ron’s bloody figure, Harry saw the remaining Death Eaters disappear into the mist. Dumbledore was striding toward the throng of people, his eyes cold and empty. He would pause evry now and then, glance down at a body and whisper a few words of prayer.

Harry couldn’t take the pain of it anymore. He fell to his knees in a puddle of Ron’s blood and cried. Hot tears that burned his eyes and ripped holes in his chest. He threw his hands in the air and screamed out his torment to the heavens as Ron’s blood trickled from his fingers down his arms. Hermione was nearly unconcious, laying across Ron’s body. Her eyes were wide open as his were. Almost as lifeless. As though there was nothing left to live for now that he was gone. Harry touched her shoulder, tears still coursing down his face. She burried her face in Ron’s cold chest and murmured a few words before passing out.

Before Harry fell unconcious with grief he took a final look around the battle field. Ginny was stumbling toward her brother, her face showed a grief more powerful than anything you could imagine. It made Harry cry harder to see her face, the pain in her dark eyes. He cursed the world and the Death Eaters and Lord Voldemort for causing her that kind of pain. She didn’t cry, she didn’t scream. She just knelt at Ron’s side and placed a hand on his still chest. Closing her eyes, Ginny Weasley began to murmur a prayer. Each word seemed to remove a pin from Harry’s heart as she said goodbye to her brother. Harry placed his hand next to hers and listened to her chanting. Taking a deep breath he tasted blood and dust and grief. He spoke the words with Ginny. Silent and rasping. Desperate and beautiful. No one existed to him anymore except for Ginny Weasley as she taught him a lesson that he wouldn’t ever forget. A lesson of life, and one of death. Although she never said a word to him, Ginny had told Harry that Ron would always be with them in their hearts, and Harry thanked her much for that.

CHAPTER THREE - ASHES TO ASHES

Harry paced back and forth Dumbledore’s office. Ginny, Neville and Hermione were waiting outside until the headmaster spoke with Harry. Dumbledore was sitting in his chair, more rigid than Harry could remember ever seeing him.

“Harry,� he began softly. “Please tell me what happened.� Harry wasn’t in denial, but the events of that day were still open wounds. He met Dumbledore’s eyes which held a certain fire that Harry had never seen. His eyes were ... desperate. Harry sat down wearily and began to speak. Even the tiniest detail was. Until Harry reached the end of his story when he emerged from Letum Specus. Dumbledore didn’t ask him to continue.

“Harry,� he murmured. “I’m sure you want to know how Voldemort died and why Peter did what he did.� Harry nodded savagely, his throat burning and choked up.

“In your third year, Harry,� Dumbledore said gently, “you saved Peter Pettigrew’s life. You could have done no greater thing, there are no words to describe how proud I was of you. You see, I’ve known from the moment Sibyll Trelawny made her first prophecy that the only possible way for you to defeat Voldemort was with love. I couldn’t tell you this, Hary, simply because if I did it would ruin the whole plan. If I told you to forgive Voldemort, if I told you to love him then it wouldn’t have been sincere.

“Now, three years ago at Voldemort’s rebirth ceremony, Peter added a bit of you and a bit of himself to Voldemort. By doing this, Voldemort was fully human. And, as any human, Voldemort was given the power to love. He kept this power hidden deep underneath his shell, utterly refusing to show it. He thought it was a weakness, as he so bluntly told you in the Ministry of Magic in your fifth year.

“Harry, today you forgave Voldemort. You loved him. This triggered an amazing reaction from your blood in his veins and the love hidden deep in his heart. It tried to resurface. Voldemort forced them down with the overwhelming power of evil he was still engrossed with and he tried to kill you. Peter Pettigrew saw him preparing to o this and I assume he leapt in front of you to take the full blast of Voldemort’s curse. He sacrificed himself to save your life, Harry, therefore paying off his debt to you. When Peter made this act of love and forgivness, the love inside Voldemort boiled over. With the pulsing love from your blood and Wormtail’s flesh Lord Voldemort couldn’t fight it anymore. Most of his body was so full of hate that that love destroyed him. He couldn’t bear to live in a body with so much of the very essence that he despised. I assume he tried to flee his body and find another to live off as he did seventeen years ago, but he couldn’t. He was fully human. So, he died.�

Harry stared at the old man, not knowing how to feel. He felt guilty, and triumphant, but mainly confused. It all made sense ... and that made it all the more confusing. For the first time in seventeen years, everything made sense. But he’d never been in so much pain.

“Ron,� he chocked. “How did he die, Professor?�

“It’s not my place to tell you,� Dumbledore said. “I don’t know myself. Wait here.� He stood up and swept across the room and down the spiral staircase. A moment later, he returned with Hermione, Neville and Ginny.

“Miss Granger is the only one living who saw it,� Dumbledore said solemnly. “And Miss Weasley has more right than any to know. Mr Longbottom deserves the truth as well.�

Hermione had stopped crying, but her eyes were red and swollen. However, that wasn’t the part that Harry noticed. No longer empty of feeling, Hermione’s eyes were full of regret and pain. A feeling that may have even supassed his own. He felt there was something more that Hermione had lost than a best friend. She sat down shakily in a chair across from Dumbledore and Ginny sat stiffly next to her. Neville stood in the corner solemnly.

Hermione began speaking right away, to Harry rather than Dumbledore, breathing ragged and forced. “Ron and I saw you approaching that door where I saw Voldemort go,� she choked to him. “We knew that you were going after him and we were willing to do whatever it took to get you in there to face him. Everything was going fine ... but then Malfoy came out from the door where you were going.� Hermione wiped her eyes and took a few deep breaths before continuing. “We saw you try and get past him but it was obvious that he would try to attack you. Kill you if he could. I looked over at Ron ... I could tell by his face what he was willing to do. He ...� Hermione let out a sob and grasped the arms of the chair tightly, her knuckles turning white. “He touched my face ... he said he loved me ... he told me to tell Ginny and the others that he loved them ... then he said ...� She was crying uncontrollably now but speaking through sobs. “He said he’d ... he’d wait for me ... then ... he ran out behind Malfoy and shouted for him ... Malfoy turned around and ...� It was obvious that Hermione couldn’t possibly say any more. Ginny patted her back. She still didn’t cry, but her eyes were huge and almost black against her pale, sickly face. Suddenly Harry realized something.

“I heard Malfoy shout the curse,� he murmured. “I thought he was aiming for me and missed ... Ron died just so I could get through to Voldemort. He didn’t even know whether or not I’d live through it.� Tears stung his eyes and he struggled to regulate his breathing. Hermione was still crying under her breath and Ginny looked more like a corpse than anything.

“I’ve notified all your parents,� Dumbledore breathed. “They’ll be arriving tomorrow.� Harry nodded and rose to his feet. Slipping an arm around Hermione’s waist he pulled her to her feet, not trusting her to walk. She could barely even breathe.

As the four friends trudges through the halls towardthe Gryffindor Tower a familiar drawl jerked them out of their silent misery. Spinning around with disgust and loathing, Harry glared at Theodore Nott swaggering down the hall. The Slytherin had recently supassed even Draco Malfoy in pure hatred for Harry Potter.

“I heard Weas-� He caught Ginny’s eye and shut up at once. Her tormented face seemed enough to tell him that even he couldn’t joke about that. “Sorry for your loss,� he mumbled and trudged away.

Ginny broke down then, right in the middle of the hall. She howled in pain and cried the tears that had threatened her for hours. It was useless to hold them back. Neville helped her up and hugged her silently. She cried into his shoulder as they walked.

“You know what the worst part is?� Hermione whispered suddenly. Harry looked down at the top of her head, slumped against his shoulder. “I loved him too. And I never said. I was afraid of losing him, and now look what happened!� She screame in torment and went limp in Harry’s arms, cursing and screaming and crying. Harry squeezed back tears, he had to be strong for her. He was all she had left.

“Herm,� whispered Ginny. “If he said he’d wait for you ... then he will. My brother’s never been one to break a promise.� Hermione nodded and burried her face into Harry’s chest.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Over the next few days, Harry was doing much better than everyone had expected. Although his eyes were still puffy and red from lack of sleep he seemed to have accepted Ron’s death. After all, Voldemort was gone and the students were celebrating. All but the Gryffindors.

Whether it was because Harry, Neville, Hemione and Ginny trudging around in pain or simply beacuse Ron had been a brother to all of them, Dean Thomas had draped the common room in black and it had become more a place for mourning than anything.

The night before, Mr and Mrs Weasley, Bill, Charlie, Fred, George and even Percy had arrived at Hogwarts. Hermione insisted on telling them exacly what happened although Harry knew too well she would break down again.

That evening, Ginny was curled up with Bill in an armchair by the fire, Percy and Charlie were speaking in hushed voices and choking on their words quite often, Mr and Mrs Weasley were sitting with Hermione in a ring of comfort while Harry sat silently with the twins and Neville.

“Congratulations, Harry!� choked George. “You finally did it, you saved the world!�

“Yeah,� said Fred painfully. “You-Know Who’s gone at last! We all knew you could do it.� Harry nodded awkwardly. Suddenly, something seemed to have errupted inside of Harry. He saw Ginny’s face cleaarly in his minds eye and remembered the prayer she had chanted to Ron. He remembered how she made him feel and what she made him realize.

“Look,� said Harry suddenly, with much more gusto than anyone expected. Everyone in the common room was listening. “We all loved Ron, he was a big part of all of us, but there’re things worse than death. He died a man’s death and he deserves better than this. Look at us, sitting around crying because Ron made up his mind to die in order for Voldemort to be slain. Of course we all miss him, but if he were back now, Voldemort would still be out there, planning all our deaths as we speak. Come on, would Ron want us to all be crying over him like this? No! Ron would want us to be celebrating that Voldemort’s gone. To be thanking his memory for making it possible.� Ginny stood up across the room, a smile spreading across her pale face. The light was back in her eyes.

“All hail Ron Weasley,� she said with a giggle. Charlie, Bill, Fred and George all followed suit. Wiping the tears from her eyes, Hermione warily pulled herself up and clung to Harry’s arm to stop her wobbly legs abandoning her.

“To Ron Weasley,� she chimed, smiling for the first time in days. Mr and Mrs Wealsey stood up, as did Percy

“We loved you Ron!� Fred and George shouted at the ceiling.

“Me too,� Hermione said softly, but her words rang so clear and sweet she might have screamed it.

Next morning, all the Wealseys, save Ginny, had appartated from Hogsmeade back to the Burrow so they could drive to Kings Cross and meet their daughter. Harry assumed they wanted to act as normal as possible. Harry had packed his trunk the night before and it now clunked along behind him as he, Neville, Ginny and Hermione walked together through the halls of Hogwarts for their last time together as students. While Ginny stillhad another year of Hogwarts, Harry, Hermione and Neville were about to graduate and head out into the world.

Out in the hot, humid summer air Harry glanced around the familiar grounds. Visions of seven years at Hogwarts came flooding back to him: basking in the warm shallows of the lake, doing homework in the shade with Hermione and Ron, snowball fights, trudging through knee-deep snow to the greenhouses and stealing across the lawn in the dead of night to visit Hagrid. Harry’s heart fell, he had barely thought of Hagrid and couldn’t help but feel some of the aching pain in his chest grow stronger.

Dumbledore was standing between a throng of students and the coaches with a large bag of what must be diplomas for the seventh years. As the last few stragglers joined the group, he began to read out names in alphabetical order. The students would walk to the front, take their diploma from Dumbledore and board the coaches. As G, L and P passed without ny mention of Hermione, Neville of Harry, Harry decided that they were being saved for a special recognition at the end. His ears glowed red.

When the last student was called and the only remaining seventh years Harry, Neville and Hermione, Dumbledore made his speech about being so proud of all his students, but how a few really stood out that year. His talk changed to one of triumph as he spoke of Lord Voldemort and his final down fall, and then one of mourning in which everyone removed their hats in respect.

Finally, he called Hermione, Neville and, to her surprise, Ginny forward. He shook hands with the trio and gave Neville and Hermione their diplomas with a tear in his eye. Now, only Harry remained, standing alone with the teachers and Prefects.

Dumbledore called his name and Harry walked forward slowly. Each teacher he passed removed their hat and bowed their heads to him. Harry’s cheeks tinged pink but he walked on, murmuring thank-yous and good-byes. Dumbledore handed him a diploma and claped him on the shoulder. A tear dripped off the end of his crooked nose.

“My boy,� he murmured. “I don’t believe I’ve ever been so proud. Bless you.� Then he swept his hat off, held it to his chest and raised his arm to salute Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived and the man that destroyed the Dark Lord.


A/N: Well, I’m done. I know three chapters isn’t much, but it’s a start, eh! I hope you liked it. I do know it was a little rushed at the end, but I’ve never been too good at conclusions. Please review, I love hearing from you!