DISCLAIMER: THIS FIC IS BASED ON THE SONG "LOVEFOOL" BY THE CARDIGANS FROM THEIR ALBUM "FIRST BAND ON THE MOON"

Summer

Love me, love me, say that you love me
Fool me, fool me, go on and fool me

Ginny banged her hand upon the alarm clock on her bedside table and the song stopped. She groaned. It was the day of first term, and the object of her affections was in her house, a room across from her. She threw back the covers and walked over to her dresser.

Mama tells me I shouldn’t bother
That I ought to stick to another
Man who deserves me
But I think you do

Ginny snorted as she pulled on a pair of jeans and a black turtleneck. Her mother would never tell her such a thing. Her mother would probably disown her if Ginny gave up on him. Him. She opened her door and stared at the door across the hall. If only he knew how much she liked him. Her endless list of boyfriends was only a cover, a shield behind which she could hide her real emotions. Feeling angry at her inability to be true to herself, and at his indifference, she hastily threw her things into her trunk and was packed in a matter of ten minutes. She went down the steps.

“Ginny dear, are you all packed?” Mrs. Weasley piled a stack of pancakes onto a plate.

“Yes, Mum.” Ginny slumped into a chair and placed her head in her hands.

“Ginny, are you alright dear?” Mrs. Weasley asked.

“Yea, I’m fine. Just…cramps. That’s all.” Mrs. Weasley smiled. She never ceased to be excited every time it was Ginny’s “time of the month”. It seemed to make her happy, to remind her of all the grandchildren she would have someday. But this was far from the truth. Ginny felt sick, but not because of cramps. She didn’t want to face him this morning, not today. They spent the whole summer playing Quidditch with Hermione and Ron, like brother and sister. Ginny wasn’t sure if he wanted to take it to the next level. Footsteps on the landing announced more arrivals.

So I cry and I pray and I beg

Hermione, Ron and Harry entered the kitchen. Ginny’s stomach did a back flip. Harry smiled at her and she pursed her lips in a smile back. The three of them sat down, and Hermione glanced at Ginny. The previous night, the two girls had spent two hours talking. Hermione was very good at that sort of stuff, even though one might not have guessed. Ginny supposed that Hermione was just wise in the love department, like she was wise in everything else. Ginny poked at her pancakes. The rest of the breakfast passed in amicable chatter. Ginny was quiet, but occasionally laughed when Ron or Hermione said something. She didn’t dare with Harry; she feared she might just collapse.

September 1st

Ginny turned to Macy and asked her best friend how her summer was. She was standing among her posse and it made her feel safe. They sort of formed a barrier that protected Ginny at school. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Harry making his way toward her. Her breath caught in her throat. Minutes later, she felt him tap her on the shoulder. She turned to him.

“Fancy trying to find a compartment?” he asked her. Ginny’s mind went into overdrive. Say yes, yes, you would. But keep your cool. Don’t appear so eager. Be patient. Keep him waiting. Don’t lose your pride or your cool.

“I can’t, Harry. I said I’d meet Dean. See you later!” Ginny said automatically. AS she walked away, she mentally slapped herself. Why hadn’t she said yes? Why did she have to bring up the fact that she had a boyfriend? A boy who lived with Harry for goodness sakes. Oh well, might as well go and see him. Dean was in a compartment with Seamus.

“Ginny! Hello!” Dean stood up and pecked her on the mouth. She smiled. Seamus glanced at the pair of them and exited quickly, giving them some privacy. Ginny relaxed as Dean held her. Maybe she could forget about the summer once Dean kissed her again.

October 3rd

Ginny swept her long red hair away from her face. She was sitting alone at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall and doing her homework from Transfiguration. Ron, Hermione, and Harry were holed up somewhere, in the library no doubt, and Dean was playing chess with Seamus. Ginny sighed and looked up when a group of voices wafted toward her.

“Come on, Hermione! Give it a rest. We’ve got loads of time.” Ron was gesturing with his hands.

“No, don’t be stupid Ron; you know time waits for no one. Oh, hello Ginny!” Hermione said brightly. Ginny’s eyes flew upward and she smiled. Hermione and Ron took seats opposite her while Harry slid in next to her. She drew her breath in; she hadn’t been this close to Harry since on the train, in Slughorn’s compartment.

“Hey,” Harry said quietly while Hermione and Ron continued to bicker.

“Hi.” She tried to keep her voice even.

“What are you working on?” he asked, pulling her parchment closer to him and bending down. His black hair was untidy, and Ginny had to resist the urge to run her fingers through it.

“Transfiguration,” she said still gazing at the top of his head. He sat up.

“Ah, I hated that. Last year, it was a nightmare.” Ginny smiled and he smiled back at her.

“Oh, come on Harry, tell Hermione that we’ve got loads of time left,” Ron pleaded. Harry turned back to his friends, and Hermione stole a look at Ginny. Ginny blushed and Hermione nodded, her sharp eyes darting from the boys to Ginny. Ron got up and so did Hermione.

“Coming, Harry?” Harry looked at Ginny and smiled warmly at her.

“Yea, I’ll be right there.” Ron and Hermione walked toward the entrance hall, and Harry got up too.

“See you later,” and he clapped his hand on her shoulder. Then he was gone. Ginny snapped her eyes shut.

October 22nd

Ginny held her broom tightly in her hand. Today was the first day of Quidditch practice without Katie, the senior Chaser. Katie had been attacked by a necklace and she was in St. Mungos. Ginny leaned against the door to the changing rooms. Dean had come to her the day before, saying that he was replacing Katie as Chaser. She smiled at him, pretending to be excited. But then he made things so awkward, because she wanted to spend practices paying attention to Harry, not Dean.

“Ready, Ginny?” Dean came behind her and kissed her on the neck.

“Yea, I’m ready.” Ginny followed Dean into the pitch. Harry and Ron were already there, and Demelza was approaching from the other side. The Beaters were banging their bats into the ground. Harry and Ron, seeing their fellow teammates, sped down from their perch in the air.

“Good, now that we’re all here, let’s go. Harder, faster, that’s what we are going to do. We can win.” After his usual pep talk, the seven players rose up into the air, and practice commenced. Ginny winced every time Ron missed a goal. He was really terrible. She turned her gaze to Harry. He was stationary near the goal posts, his eyes scanning for the Golden Snitch. After an hour of practice, Harry blew his whistle and everyone returned to the changing room. Harry and Ron were whispering loudly in the corner, apparently having a row. Ginny wanted to stay but Dean was tugging on her sleeve.

“Let’s go,” he mouthed to her. She sighed and let him lead her into a deserted corridor behind a tapestry. He started to snog her and Ginny returned the favor. All thoughts of Harry disappeared when she was snogging Dean. She knew it was wrong to like both boys at the same time, yet she couldn’t help herself. They wrapped their arms around each other tightly. Suddenly the tapestry was pushed aside and a flood of light shone on them. At first Ginny didn’t notice; she was too busy fishing his tongue out of her mouth.

“Oy!” They broke apart. It was Ron and he was with Harry. Ginny shook. Dean looked embarrassed. Ron started to yell at her and Dean dismissed himself. Ginny was furious. Her brother had no right to burst in upon her like that, much less yell at her. Harry stepped between them when wands were drawn. Ginny tried to push him out of the way; her fingers tingled when she touched him. But he wouldn’t budge, and Ron’s jet of light narrowly missed her. Harry shoved Ron up the wall and Ginny’s eyes widened. Harry was protecting her? Well, it wouldn’t be the first time, she thought, remembering her first year. As she stalked up to the dormitories by herself, she knew she had to do something about her situation.

Love me, love me, pretend that you love me

Christmas Holiday

The months passed. OWLs were coming, and Hermione had become Ginny’s tutor. She was very insistent about studying properly. Hermione also insisted that Harry was watching her more and more. Ginny didn’t believe Hermione. But Hermione had been earnest when she told Ginny not to lose hope. Her relationship with Dean was still hanging in there. They were still snogging in various places but Ron never walked in on them again. Christmas had come and gone, with Ginny lurking on the stairwell, gazing at Harry as he laughed with Ron or talked to her father. Luckily, there were always people around so she wouldn’t have to be alone with him. People from the Order flitted in and out of the Burrow. She spent time with Fred and George, who always made her laugh and with Bill when Fleur wasn’t around. When everyone returned to their lives after the New Year, Ginny felt trapped. On the day back, Dean had accosted her and thought she was still the same as before. But Ginny had changed. Something over Christmas made her decide that she had to decide: Dean or Harry.

Lately I have desperately pondered
Spent my nights awake and I wonder
What I could have done in another way
To make you stay


March 22nd

Ginny was exhausted. She had just played the worst match of her life, and Harry Potter was unconscious in the hospital wing. Gryffindor lost to Hufflepuff, 320 to 60. Ginny hadn’t even bothered to change out of her uniform. She rushed into the hospital.

“Ron,” she skidded to a halt when she saw her brother.

“Ginny, Harry’s over there. Took a big blow to the head, he did.” Ginny rushed to Harry’s bedside and looked down into his face. She stared at his pale white face, his black glasses framing his eyes, then to his scar. She wanted to kiss him, but Ron was still looking over at them.

“Ok, well best not disturb him. I’ll see you later, Ron.” Ginny left. Dean met her in the common room.

“Some match! Too bad we lost, but did you see when McLaggen hit Harry? Boy that was hilarious!” Dean roared with laughter. Ginny stomped her foot.

“That was NOT funny, Dean! Harry could have been really hurt!” Dean looked shocked at her outburst. Ginny ran up the girls’ dormitory before he could say anything. Dean turned to Seamus.

“What did I say wrong?” Seamus shrugged.

April 30th

Ginny approached Dean as he came into the common room.

“Dean, we have to talk.” Dean looked surprised at her tone of voice.

“Ok.” He followed her to a chair by the window. Out of the corner of her eye, Ginny saw Ron talking to Lavender and Lavender was crying. Ginny could only imagine what Ron was doing.

“Dean, we have to break this off.” Dean looked as if she had slapped him.

“Break this off? What do you mean?”

“I can’t be with you anymore.”

“Is there another?” Ginny shook her head. But I wish there was.

“Why Ginny? Why now?” Dean asked, his voice hollow.

“I just can’t be untrue to myself and to you. Dean, you are a great guy, it’s not you; it’s me.” Dean looked crestfallen as Ginny stood up and pressed her lips to his forehead. She strode up the stairs and Lavender Brown bumped into her as she ran upstairs, sobbing hard.


May 25th

Ginny bit her lip, tapping the butterbeer against her leg. Where was Harry? Slimy git, she thought of Snape. Snape would most definitely keep Harry for as long as possible for detention. The portrait hole swung open and a crop of black hair appeared. Ginny popped up from her seat and pushed her way through the crowd. Harry gazed back at her, at the surroundings. They had won the Cup; Ginny had won it for him, for them both. She stared at him for a few moments and he stared back at her. Without stopping to think of the repercussions of her actions, Ginny threw her arms around his neck and kissed him firmly. Let him kiss me back, she thought furiously. And he did. People around them whistled. They broke apart.

“Let’s go,” he whispered in her ear, and he led her out of the portrait hole. He did not say a word until they reached the field outside.

I cry
And I beg
For you to love me, love me
Say that you love me
Leave me, leave me
Just say that you need me
I can’t care ‘bout anything but you

Harry paused and took her face in his hands and kissed her again. They passed fifteen minutes by the lake in this fashion. Ginny wanted it to never end. When he took his face away from hers, he spoke the words she had longed to hear since she was 11 years old.

“Ginny Weasley, I think I love you.”