Disclaimer: JKR owns Lily, James and the setting. The lyrics to “Defying Gravity” belong to the guy who wrote “Wicked.” All I own is Monica, who keeps popping around in my head so much she's soon going to be popping around in more stories. Need I say any more?

A/n- Even though this is a songfic to “Defying Gravity” from Wicked, the best musical ever, I moved some of the lyrics around and cut some of the diologue or lyrics that fit only with the musical and not this fic.

Something has changed within me,
Something is not the same.
I’m through with playing by the rules
Of someone else’s game.
Too late for second-guessing,
Too late to go back to sleep,
Its time to trust my instinct,
Close my eyes, and leap!

“You’re what?” the smiling, plump blond asked her red-haired best friend as they strolled up the rolling lawns of Hogwarts to the giant, impressive castle for lunch.

“I told you, Alice,” Lily Evans said forcefully, “Monica is making me take flying lessons. Its not like I want them, or anything. She wants to play Quiddich with me over the summer, or something like that.” Lily sighed loudly, thinking of her energetic, perky and sometimes annoying other best friend, Monica Prewett.

“Since when do you listen to everything Monica says?” the small, quiet, dark-haired girl walking next to Alice asked.

Lily sighed again. “Dory,” she said to her third best friend, Dorcas Meadowes, “Monica told me all the members of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team have to give private flying lessons to someone. She didn’t want to teach some little first year who didn’t know which end of the broom from the other. She told me if she wanted to spend her evenings teaching someone how to fly, it had to be one of her friends. Dorcas, you learned how to fly before you were born. Alice, you don’t like flying, but Monica thinks you’re an absolute genius at it. And I’ve never been on a broomstick in my life. So Monica and I figured I sign up for flying lessons, she volunteers to teach me, I learn how to fly, and in the summer when we go to her house, we’ll play Quidditch. Problem solved.”

The trio trudged up the path in silence. As they entered the Entrance Hall of the castle, a blur wearing scarlet Quiddich robes that clashed horribly with her fiery red corkskrew curls ran up to them holding a piece of parchment. “Oh my god, Lily, Potter gave me the schedule for flying lessons! You will not believe it!”

“What?!” Lily asked furiously. Her exotic green eyes flashed and narrowed at the just the thought of her worst enemy, James Potter. He had an unfortunate tendency of doing whatever annoyed her most, whether exploding her cauldron in Potions or teasing Slytherins. Worse, he always asked her out- Lily had lost count of how many times she had rejected him. If I was stuck on a deserted island with my least favorite person in the world, I would be trapped with Potter, Lily thought furiously.

“Oh, my gosh, Lily!” Monica screeched again. “I’m not teaching you! If I had known I wouldn’t get to chose, I wouldn’t have made you sign up. I’m so sorry! But, look who I’m teaching! Sirius Black! He’s only the hottest guy in the seventh year! Oh my god!”

Lily smiled wanly. At least Monica was happy. “Hang on,” she said slowly, as a thought came to her mind, “if you’re not giving me lessons, who is?”

Monica’s smile faded instantly. “Oh, about that, Lily,” she said nervously, “I’m really, really sorry.”

Lily gazed down at the parchment, her heart pounding furiously. “No!” she gasped aloud. The other girls crowded in, and gave Lily kind words or a hug. Yet that could not erase the words on the parchment. According to it, Lily’s private flying instructor was James Potter.

It’s time to try
Defying gravity.
I think I’ll try
Defying gravity.
And you can’t pull me down.

The next day, Monica, with her broom hoisted by her shoulder, walked Lily down to the Quidditch field. “No, no,” Lily repeated over and over. “This cannot be happening. I cannot be willingly going down to meet James Potter, and spend over and hour with him. Monica, pinch me so I can wake up!”

Monica stared at Lily. “Lil, calm down. You’re freaking out over nothing,” she said bluntly. “It’s a flying lesson. It’s not like it’s a date or anything.”

“Right,” responded Lily. “OK, I believe you, Miss ‘Oh my god, I’m teaching Sirius Black how to fly.’”

“That’s different!” Monica retorted, with a slight guilty giggle.

“How?” Lily responded coldly. I can’t let her know my secret, she thought almost desperately.

“Come on, girl!” Monica exclaimed. “It’s a flying lesson! What’s your problem?”

Lily sighed, and stopped walking. Monica was her best friend in the world, yet she didn’t know Lily’s secret. No one knew why Lily had conveniently been in the Hospital Wing when her fellow students had been forced to attend a Flying Lesson in first year. No one guessed why Lily had never been to a Quidditch game in her life. Fear, especially fear of something so trivial, was too real, too deep for perfect Lily Evans.

“You’ve got some problem about taking flying lessons,” Monica said astutely, “and I think I know what it is.”

“Yes,” Lily responded, avoiding contact with the blue eyes of her best friend boring into her, “it’s true. I’m afraid of heights.”

“You’re joking,” Monica said slowly. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” admitted Lily. “All I know is ever since I was two, I haven’t been able to look out a window higher than the fifth story or so without freaking out. When I was seven, my parents tried to get me on an airplane,” she said, shuddering at the thought of the memory.

“A what?” Monica, who was pure-blood, asked curiously.

“Muggle flying thing,” Lily said dismissively. “Anyway, it was a complete disaster. I ruined the whole vacation by fainting when seeing how high we are. Ever since I found out the Wizarding world existed, I was afraid someone was going to make me go on a broomstick. I get nauseous when I watch someone fly. How am I supposed to actually go on a broomstick without fainting? I can’t fly, Monica.”

Monica sighed, and complained, “Lily! If I had known, I wouldn’t have made you sign up for lessons! Look, just tell Potter that-”

“Tell Potter what?” asked a smooth, triumphant voice from behind them.

Lily turned slowly to face her worst enemy. She could feel her heart pounding and her face flush. If she told Potter she was scared of heights, there was no doubt he would use the valuable information to blackmail her to go out with him. Yet, if she refused to tell him her secret, she would have to fly, and then he would figure out her fears anyway. What is there left to do? Lily thought desperately.

“Tell Potter nothing,” Lily said quickly and loudly, trying to drown out Monica’s answer while sounding as cold as she could.

“What are you doing down here?” James Potter asked Monica cruelly. He nonchalantly ran his hand through his uneven dark hair, making it even more messy than it was.

“None of your business,” Lily shot back as Monica spoke at the same time. “Monica, shut up! Lily found herself thinking angrily. She wished she knew how to do Legilimency. As she contemplated that desperate thought, Monica spoke up. “I’m here to lend Lily my broomstick,” she said coldly and triumphantly.

“What?” gasped Lily and James at the exact same time. Monica’s broomstick was her pride and joy. The Prewett family wasn’t exactly rich, and Monica had saved her birthday and Christmas money most of her life to buy the best broom there was, a Nimbus 1000. Monica was almost possessive of her Nimbus, and Lily couldn’t believe Monica would let her touch it, much less borrow it. What if I break it? she thought desperately.

“Be careful with it, Lily,” Monica almost hissed at her red-haired best friend. She carefully looked over her broomstick before handing it to Lily. In Lily’s soft, small hands it vibrated slightly as if it yearned to soar in the air.

“I’m going to sit in the stands and watch,” Monica continued in a slightly broken voice.

“T-thanks! Monica, you’re a gr-great friend!” Lily stammered, giving the tall, gangly girl a quick hug before Monica retreated to the stands. As she saw Monica’s back turn to her, crazy thoughts began to run through her head. If Monica was teaching her the art of flying, she would be able to conquer her fears with her best friend’s gentle guidance. But now, she was alone on the Quidditch field with her least-favorite person in the world.

“Ready, Evans?” James asked, giving her the slightest of winks as he mounted his broom.

“Er, I guess,” Lily said slowly. Her stomach clenched painfully, and a million butterflies seemed to burst out. The corner of her eyes burned with tears of fear and shame. Her limbs felt weak, with all the fight gone, and her head was a light balloon. Breathe, she told herself, realizing she had been holding her breath for over a minute. For the first time in her life, Lily Evans was completely terrified.

“Get on the broomstick, then,” James said, with a hint of impatience in his voice. He kicked off the ground and circled around the Quidditch pitch. Lily felt her cheeks pale as she watched the slight blur speeding around the lush field in the rapidly sinking darkness.

“I-I don’t know how,” Lily said, finally. Her voice sounded flat and most unlike her, and she realized the broomstick wasn’t vibrating- her hands were.

James landed next to her. “Evans,” he asked in an impatient yet gentle voice, “have you ever been on a broom before?”

“No,” responded Lily, as she awkwardly swung her leg around the broom and held on to it tightly with sweaty palms.

“I can see that,” James sighed. “Move forward a little; you look like you’re going to fall off any second. Don’t hold the broom so tightly, you won’t be able to steer. Grip it more like this.”

Lily saw his face swim before her eyes as he demonstrated the proper way to hold on to the broom. I can’t fly, she thought, but I can’t tell him I’m scared. What am I going to do? James reached out and adjusted her grip. As his warm, rough hands touched Lily’s sweaty ones, she felt like something exploded in her. Her hands tingled and an electric surge went through her, one she had never felt before. For a second, Lily froze and enjoyed the unidentifiable feelings washing over her, but then, all of a sudden, she realized it was James causing those feelings. With a ferocity built of her fear of flying, she slapped James’s hands away with unnecessary force. “Don’t touch me!” she hissed in a low, deadly voice.

“What the hell?” James asked angrily, massaging his red hands. “I was adjusting your grip.”

“I’m sure you were,” Lily said sarcastically. She took a deep breathe, and tried to control the wall of emotion threatening to spill out of her. She was angry, but at who? Angry at James for using his power as Quidditch captain to try to work his way into her heart? Or angry at herself for being so afraid, so vulnerable? The echoes of the shock she had felt when James touched her still resounded through her body, and did nothing to improve her mood. Why did I feel that way? she wondered. Do I- no, that’s impossible. What’s wrong with me? Why do I think I like James Potter?

I'm through accepting limits
'Cuz someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down

“Nothing, I’m sorry,” Lily responded in a rather hoarse voice. For the millionth time, she wondered, What is the matter with me? Did she feel guilty for slapping James? She slowly regripped her broomstick, the way James had told her. Her heart pounded unreasonably as James opened his mouth to speak.

“You should be sorry,” he said gruffly. “Now, you’re holding it properly, good. To begin to fly, kick off hard. Come down by leaning forward slightly. Kick off, hover for a few moments, then come back done, all right, babe?”

Lily nodded, her throat to dry to speak. She felt the blood pounding in her ears and her face flushed. James gave her a look which seemed to tell her, “Go, fly!” Lily felt like hitting James on the head very hard with the broomstick and running far, far away, yet something stopped her. Was it the look of pure adoration he gave her when he thought she wasn’t looking? Was it his honest, open hazel eyes? Or was it her desire for her to defy her fear that made her squeeze her eyes shut, take a shaky breath, and kick off from the ground as hard as she could?

“Ahhh!” Lily screamed in fear as she felt her feet leave the ground. She felt bare and unprotected without solid, hard, ground under her feet, and only a narrow piece of wood used as a cleaning supply keeping her from a freefall to the smooth pitch. “Lily, open your eyes!” she heard Monica scream as if in a dream. Lily screwed open her eyes, and without a second thought, glanced down. She gasped as she saw James’s messy black hair far below her foot. Her heart pounded so hard she thought it would explode. Her head was spinning, everything was spinning. With a loud scream of terror, Lily fell gracefully and slowly from the sky into James’s arms.

“Lily! LILY!” Lily half-opened her eyes, and felt muscular arms supporting her. She felt so safe… where am I? she thought lazily. She slowly wrenched open her eyes all the way, and saw Monica, her blue eyes full of concern, leaning over her. She glanced up at the man holding her, and was shocked to see scruffy black hair, hazel eyes and a long, pointed nose in her face. With a gasp, Lily staggered sideways and fell out of James Potter’s arms. “What happened?” she asked.

“You fell,” James said simply. He seemed utterly nonchalant about it, though underneath his arrogant smile you could see he was pale. “And I caught you.”

“Oh, my god!” Monica gasped. “It was the scariest thing ever! Lily, one moment you were flying and you were doing perfectly, the next moment you look down and then you just fell. Good thing James was under you…” She paused dramatically, then continued, “Oh, my god, Lily, I’m so sorry I made you take flying lessons! I am so sorry! Are you hurt? I shouldn’t have made you fly when you were so scared! I’m so sorry!”

“I’m fine,” Lily said, detangling herself from James’s arms. “I-I wasn’t that high up.” Her chin quivered the tiniest bit, but she ignored it and continued, “James, I’m sorry for thinking I could fly. The t-truth is, I’m scared of heights.”

Lily felt her face redden in shame as she admitted her deepest secret. “I thought I could get over it,” she said, burying her face in her hands, “but I couldn’t. I’m sorry.”

James looked at her in a different light. “Lily,” he said, simply, “you can fly. I saw you. You can do it, you’ve got natural ability. Before you looked down, you were wonderful.”

Lily wiped away a stray tear. “I can’t do it!” she almost yelled. “And even if I was good at it, I’m too scared. I tried to defy my fears once, and that didn’t work, all right? I’m a Muggle at heart, really. To me there is gravity, and that stops me every single time. I’m sorry, but I just can’t do it.”

James shook his head, and handed her the gleaming broomstick. “Try, Lily, just try,” he said gently. Lily didn’t know what to do. She wanted never to see another broomstick again, yet she couldn’t bear the disappointment in James’s eyes. Not looking at Monica or James, she took the broom and mounted it gingerly. Next to her, James did the same thing on his own broom.

“What are you doing?” Lily asked.

“Helping you,” responded James. “Please, Evans, let me teach you. Don’t make me disappointed.” With that, he kicked off and hovered a few feet in the air.

Lily was in a panic. She didn’t know what to do. She could disappoint James and disappoint herself by not trying, or she could try and hurt herself again, maybe seriously this time? She decided this time, she wouldn’t shut her eyes. You know, Lily thought suddenly, if James can fly, I can. I’m smarter than him, right? With that thought, Lily kicked off in the air.

Monica and James cheered as Lily met James in the air. He grabbed her hand, and gave her a quick squeeze. Lily felt her heart pound, and tiny fireworks burst in her heart at his very touch. She glanced down, and felt nothing but a slight ripple of fear. “Catch me if you can!” James yelled out boyishly, his face spread in a wide grin. He zoomed to the other side of the pitch.

Lily carefully guided the broom to face James, and was surprised that it spun around at her gentle, timid touch. She urged it forward, and the broom began to speed to James. Lily laughed out loud as the wind rustled her hair and pulled back her robes. This wasn’t scary- this was easy! James spun around, and she easily made a sharp turn to follow him. They continued in this manner for quite a while, with James occasionally yelling out directions or hints. Lily felt suspended in a world more magical than Hogwarts between reality and an unknown light. In reality, she hated James Potter. He was her worst enemy and would always be. In reality, she was scared of heights and wouldn’t go on a broomstick if paid a million Galleons. In the unknown world, she knew nothing. All she knew was terrible things would happen if she left her broom, got off the Quidditch pitch and tried to carry her life as normal. Here, though, in the air, was perfection. She was wild, she was free. Nothing anyone could do would stop here; there was no bringing her down. She had love, she had freedom, she had perfection. She was suspended between uncertain worlds in complete bliss.

Unlimited
Together we're unlimited
Together we'll be the greatest team
There's ever been
Glinda -
Dreams, the way we planned 'em
If we work in tandem:
There's no fight we cannot win
Just you and I
Defying gravity
With you and I
Defying gravity

Finally, after nearly an hour of them chasing back and forth, James slowed down and headed towards the ground. Lily felt her heart sinking. She knew the evening was over, the lesson was done, the magic was gone. She slowly turned her broom downwards and hovered, the tops of her sneakers skimming the grass. The spell that had lingered between her and James was over; they were as awkward and unfriendly with each other as before. As James turned to leave the pitch, Lily called out to him.

“Thank you!” she yelled, dropping her broom and running out to him. She caught up to him and almost subconsciously grabbed his arm. He spun around, and Lily again felt a ripple of something pulse through her heart. Maybe the spell is still here, she thought abruptly. But, still, the smallest corner of her brain reminded her, This is James Potter. You despise him. You can’t love him!

“What?” asked James in the obnoxious, deep tone he usually used on her. It was so different from the gentle, almost boyish, vulnerable tone he had used with her when he spoke to her as they flew. He wants to impress me, Lily thought, but why does he think he’ll will persuade me to like him when he's so mean?

“Thank you,” Lily repeated cautiously. “You helped me learn how to fly. I never would have learned without you.” Out of the corner of her eye, Lily saw Monica watching them from the stands, standing completely still with her mouth wide open.

“Well, er,” James said nervously, “I’m good at flying, so I guess my talent, er, rubbed off on you.”

Lily hit him gently with the back of her hand in a very flirty way. As soon as she did, she thought frantically, This is James Potter! Hello, James Potter! I can’t be flirting with him. And where did I learn those moves, anyway? Sure, Lily was popular, but she had never had a real boyfriend in her life. “You’re too arrogant,” she said in a girly voice. She had often told that to James, but never in that way. What is the matter with me? she thought angrily.

James’s face broke into a wide grin. “I am, am I?” he asked in an equally naughty way.

Lily laughed a tinkling laugh most unlike her own. “You are!” she said in a juicy voice, then paused a second, a fake smile plastered on her lips. “James, stop!” she snapped. As soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted it.

James moved away from her, a frown on his face and a crease between his eyebrows. “Stop what?”

“Stop making me be like this!” Lily almost yelled. "I'm not flirty! It's not me!"

“It’s not my fault,” James snapped back, a little too defensively.

Lily couldn’t stand the stricken look in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly and softly. “I don’t know why I was like that. I just want to be myself. I’m so sorry.”

James gave her a sincere look, and gingerly and gently placed his hands around her hips. He’s sexually assaulting me! Lily thought frantically. I’ve got to stop him! Yet, somehow, she couldn’t find the strength or the heart to pull his rough hands off and slap him across the face. “It’s okay, babe,” James whispered softly. Then he pulled her in, and straight on her lips, planted a fierce kiss.

Lily couldn’t find anything in her to fight back. A million fireworks, each more ferocious then the last, exploded in her chest. Against her will, she began kissing him back. A look of relief that crossed the little of his face she could see. She didn’t know what was going on as she watched the scene as from a though distance. This is James Potter! You can’t like him! her logic told her. Yet her heart said, It doesn’t matter. As they kissed, a million thoughts bounded through her head. What will everyone say if they find out? she thought. Everyone knows I hate him…I know I hate him. What’s wrong with me?

She pushed him away, and panted for breath. Everything was spinning, and Lily realized as they kissed she had held her breath. A pain went through her as she saw him looking confused. “I’m sorry,” she said softly. “But I can’t.”

“Why not?” asked James.

Lily felt as if something deep was closing in on her. “What will everyone say?” she asked, almost tearfully.

“Does it matter?” asked James. He grabbed her hand and gently caressed it. “Follow your heart, and defy everything else. Defy,” he said softly, “defy.”

Lily didn’t care anymore about everyone else. She threw her arms around James and kissed him like no kiss ever before. Through her mind, as they kissed, she thought, Defy.

So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately:
"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who'd ground me
Take a message back from me
Tell them how I am
Defying gravity
I'm flying high
Defying gravity
And soon I'll match them in renown
And nobody in all of Oz
No Wizard that there is or was
Is ever gonna bring me down!

A/n- As always, thanks to my wonderful beta, the other Broadway musical freak, Hermione528 aka MalfoysMistress.
And that's it! If you've made it this far, PLEASE review. I want to hear what you thought about Monica... if you like her, she'll be in more of my stories!