Her Voice Within by potterfan226
Summary: Ever since her father had died at the age of seven, Adrianna Potter had become content and shy with everyone around her and even herself. By day, she appeared somewhat on the happy side but when darkness fell, she no longer tried to hide her feelings and would often just break down and cry. At the age of sixteen, it only took her one trip to where her father lay, resting in peace for Adrianna to finally come out of her shell and to finally find Her Voice Within.
Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Characters: None
Warnings: Alternate Universe
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 2665 Read: 1365 Published: 02/11/06 Updated: 03/03/06

1. Her Voice Within by potterfan226

Her Voice Within by potterfan226
Disclaimer: I only own Adrianna. No one else.

[a.u.t.h.o.r.s n.o.t.e] I wrote this story a while ago but have putting it off in posting it here, or anywhere else really. It's only on 2 sites so far. I based this story loosely on Christina Aguilera's The Voice Within but didn't want the story to have the exact same name. So here it is. Please read and review.

Her Voice Within
Written by potterfan226

She watched as the coffin was lowered into the freshly dug up earth, tons of flowers of all kinds and dirt lay on the top. She stood up straight, holding her hands tightly in front of her, her mother behind her, silently crying, a hand on her daughters’ shoulder.

Seven year old, Adrianna Potter knew that he father was going to a better place; she knew that he’d never be coming back. As soon as her mother had gotten the call from her Uncle Ron, Adrianna knew at once it was to do with her father.

Yet, despise the fact that she was only seven years old, Adrianna was rather smart for her age to know that when her mother said it had been nothing and that Daddy was just in the Hospital with some injuries, Adrianna knew, judging by the tone in her mothers voice, it was much more than that.

But, that had been almost ten years ago. To this day, Adrianna still grieved over her father. She felt that she was too young for her father to have been taken away from her. She felt like Fate was punishing her for something that she had no clue about. All Adrianna wanted to do these days was keep to herself and not have anyone bug her.

But, even ten years later, Adrianna wasn’t the only one who wasn’t ready to let her father go. Her mother, Ginny, hadn’t even moved on, despite what her friends had said. Particularly, Adrianna felt that her mother moving on was a terrible idea. She didn’t think she’d be able to forgive her if her mother had done that, to herself, to Adrianna.

For the brown haired, green eyed girl, the first few years after her father’s death had been the worst, for herself and for her mother. Every night, she would hear cries and sobs coming from her mother’s room, and the ten year old girl herself would try and muffle out her cries by going somewhere where nobody, especially her mother, could hear her.

The years passed on and Adrianna was no longer the loud, obnoxious girl she had been when she was five, when her father had been alive. No she was far from that. Now days, she was quiet, shy and content with herself. Her mother and the rest of the family became worried of her, but Adrianna just assured them that she was fine.

But she was far from that.

She mourned every night and thought of how she would have been to this day if her father hadn’t of left her. She was angry at him, angry at him for joining the Auror department at the Ministry of Magic, she was angry at him for getting involved with that stupid fight, and most of all, she was angry at herself for being angry with her father.

She kept everything bottled up inside of her. It was a trait that her Uncle Ron said that her father had. Supposedly, he had been very good at bottling up emotions.

But now that she was sixteen years old, Adrianna was still the same and shy person she had been when her father had first died. She had a fair few number of friends, but wasn’t the most popular student at Hogwarts. She had often wondered if it had to do with her shy-ness, or if it were just her in total.

It had been a warm summer night, just a few days into August, and Adrianna sat in her room alone, on her bed, a leather-bound photo album sitting in her lap.

It was well past midnight and for some reason, Adrianna wasn’t tired the least bit. The lamp beside her bed reflected off of the light purple, almost white walls, illuminating the golden, inscribed writing on the front of the book. Harry Potter.

She had found it earlier when she had been rummaging around her mothers room, looking for the book her mum had borrowed from her a few days back. One thing that Adrianna loved to do was read. She was a true bookworm at heart.

Sighing, she lifted a trembling hand and opened the cover. There on the first page, was a picture of her father as a baby, in his mothers (Adrianna’s grandmother) arms. His father James laughing behind Lily. Adrianna smiled slightly. She had never really seen pictures of her father as a baby. To her, it was quite weird to think that her father had even been that young.

She turned the page again. It was more pictures of her grandparents Lily and James in their days at Hogwarts, most of them from their seventh-year, when they had begun dating. Adrianna’s Uncle Remus had told her everything about her grandparents, due to the fact that her father didn’t know them as well either.

Turning more pages and looking at more pictures, Adrianna finally passed the ones of her grandparents’ school days. On about the tenth page, she saw a picture of her father, her Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione, from their first-year at Hogwarts.

She giggled slightly at the sight of how young they were. Adrianna kept looking at pictures for the next half-hour. By then, there were only a few pages left.

She turned the page and felt her heart leap.

There was the picture of her when she had been born. Her father was holding her, smiling and laughing as her mother smiled. They looked as though they’d never be anymore happier in their lifetime.

Angrily, she snapped the book shut. That was the happiest she had ever seen her father, and she didn’t even remember it. All Adrianna could remember was the slightly moody father who was obsessed with catching Death Eaters, and always being late to come home due to he worked overtime at the Ministry.

She felt like she barely knew him.

Adrianna threw the covers up off her and crossed her room. She took her coat off of the back of her door, and walked out into the hall, down the stairs and to the front door.

She quickly made sure her mother wasn’t stirring upstairs and when she heard silence, Adrianna opened the door quietly and walked outside into the warm night. She let her feet take her down the usual stone path surrounded with tons of flowers against the edge of the path. She turned right and kept walking, stuffing her hands into her pockets as she walked.

She had been down this path many times before, just not in the past year. In fact, the last time she had walked to the cemetery, whether alone or with someone else, had been a year ago, on the eighth anniversary of the day that her father had died; July 2nd.

She felt odd walking in the dead of the night to a cemetery, alone. But for some reason, when Adrianna had been looking at those photos, something in her mind seemed to have clicked into place. Almost as if a part of her which she had lost all those years ago, was finally back into place.

She stopped at the cemetery’s steel gates, which luckily weren’t locked for the night. She slid through them, quickly looking behind her to make sure no one noticed, and walked down the path to where her father’s grave was.

A few minutes later, she stood in front of a large tombstone, a picture of her two parents engraved into the stone, and the words “Harry Potter “ July 31st, 1980 “ June 2nd, 2009” shining in the moonlight.

Adrianna dropped to her knees right in front of it. She noticed that on the ledge of the grave, there were wilting roses in a clear vase; the water was dissolved and the roses looked dead and dry. She brought her hand forward and touched a petal. It instantly fell off and fell to the ground.

Adrianna sighed.

She sat there for what felt like nearly hours. The moon was still out and you could tell that the sun wasn’t going to rise for a fair few number of hours, but it still felt like she had been there for an eternity.

As Adrianna lifted a finger and traced the hollow words Harry Potter, her stomach gave a great jolt as she heard a voice from behind her speak up.

“Do you come here often?”

Adrianna turned around and saw her mother Ginny, wearing a pink frilly bathrobe and white slippers. Adrianna blushed and scooted over a bit as her mother came and sat down beside her.

The young Potter shook her head. “No. I haven’t been here for a while.”

Ginny rested her hand on top of her daughters and together, they traced the words “Brother, Son, Husband and Father.”

Adrianna stared at her mother. “Why are you here?”

“I was awake,” her mother said, shrugging slightly, “and I saw you walking outside, so I followed.”

Adrianna rested her head on her mothers shoulder. Ginny spoke up, “and I haven’t been here for a while, either. Every time I try and work up the courage to come …” she trailed off and sighed, “I seem to chicken out.”

Adrianna had never known. The summer previous, her mother had said numerous times that she was going on a ‘walk’, which usually meant she was coming to the cemetery, but Adrianna had never gone with her. She had actually expected that her mother was coming here.

“Me too,” the young girl whispered.

She looked at the photo in the middle of the tombstone and could have sworn she saw her father smile at her. Adrianna’s heart soared and seemed to have opened up. She felt like he was sitting right beside her, holding her right hand. But when she looked over, there was nothing but empty space.

“Why did he have to leave us, mum?” she whispered, a small tear trickling down her cheek. She buried her head into her mother’s neck and sniffed.

“I don’t know, Adrianna,” Ginny said honestly, “I really don’t, baby.”

“Is it wrong to be angry at him,” Adrianna asked as she blinked back a few tears. “Is it wrong to be angry with myself for being angry at Daddy?”

“Oh, no baby, no,” her mother hushed, “not at all.” She put her arms around her daughter and hugged her tightly. “I’m often angry at him too, Adrianna, but when I remember all of the good times we had together, it seems like everything just vanishes away and I wonder why I was even angry at him in the first place.”

“But I barely remember him, mum,” whispered Adrianna, “all I can remember is that he was always late from work and that he was just … obsessed with catching Death Eaters-”

“He wanted to keep you safe, Adrie,” said her mother, “he wanted to keep all of us safe, so that way he’d be able to spend more time with you.” She kissed the top of her daughter’s head. “I know you seem to think like you don’t remember much of him, sweetie, but I know you do. You got to open up your heart, let all of your anger out and forgive you father, Adrie. I know you’re mad at him, but I know you still love him. I also know that you still haven’t accepted that he is gone yet …”

“Yes, I have, mum,” whispered Adrianna quickly.

Her mother pulled back and turned to face Adrianna right in the eyes. “If you say that you have accepted him being gone, then you must tell yourself, tell your father that you forgive him. I know it sounds stupid, Adrianna, but you need to open you heart again. It’s the only way you’ll remember all of those good times, locked up inside of here-” her mother placed her hand slowly upon Adrianna’s heart, “- and it’s the only way you’ll be able to be yourself again.”

Adrianna saw the tears shining in her mothers eyes and she nodded solemnly.

“Adrie, baby,” her mother said softly, “when you were a little girl, you were the most loudest, obnoxious, messiest five year old to ever have been born-”

Adrianna snorted and sported a small smile.

“- but after he died … that little girl, full of energy and hope, just simply vanished,” her mother looked into Adrianna’s eyes, “and, Adrie, I know that deep down inside of you, that little girl is still there … you just got to let her out.”

Kissing the top of her daughters head one more time, Ginny got up and walked away.

Adrianna wiped a tear away and turned to face the grave again. Her mother was right. Her mother was always right.

She sat there for what felt like another eternity, just ripping the grass out of the ground, and then letting it be blown away in the wind. When an entire patch of grass had disappeared, Adrianna sighed and looked up.

“Mum’s right, Dad, isn’t she?” she asked the piece of stone. Looking down at her hands and quickly wiping a tear away, she spoke again. “I’ve been avoiding coming to see you because … I “ I was afraid, afraid of loosing you forever.” She sniffed. “I know it’s been almost ten years, Daddy, but … I, I don’t want to let you go.”

Adrianna looked down, as if almost ashamed to let the tombstone see that she was crying. “I don’t even know-know why I was mad at you … well I do … but … it’s stupid to be mad at you for that, isn’t it? I know you were trying to keep us safe … but, I was only seven, Daddy. I was seven years old. No girl should ever have to loose their father that young, Daddy.”

She let the tears fall freely from her face. “All these years, I, I’ve been so … quiet. Quiet with everyone, even myself. I don’t know why, I never did. I just wanted to be left alone.”

She let out a deep breath. “I, I guess what I’m trying to say, Daddy … is, is that … even though I miss you like hell …” she chuckled, “and even though that I’m still upset that you left me at such a young age …” She sighed and closed her eyes, another tear falling from her green eye. “I, I, I, f-forgive you.”

She stared at the picture once again and smiled. “I’m glad that we had the time that we shared … but, I just wish it could have been longer.”

Blinking numerous times, Adrianna stood up off of the ground and stretched her legs.

“I love you, Daddy …” she said to herself, rather than to the stone, “just, make sure you’re always with me.”

She smiled and turned around and started walking away.

In the past three hours alone, Adrianna felt like she had talked more than ever in the past nine years, whether it was to her mum, her dad, or even to herself, and the thought of that made her feel good.

The End
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