Fading Into Grey
Chapter One

October 1970

The spitting rain had subsided long enough for the two boys to go outside. They had been granted this luxury with the condition and strict orders to go directly to the garden without talking to strangers only because their mother had wanted some time alone. They could see their house through the trees from where they played which meant their mother could see them. A thought that was not terribly consoling.

The older boy was standing on his swing, reaching his arms up to hang from the overhead bar while the younger boy sat in his own swing twisting from side to side. Both looked very much alike and had a look of aristocracy. They were well dressed, handsome boys, warm in their heavy, wool cloaks shielding them from the cool October wind. Said wind ruffled their dark hair and the leaves on the fruit trees surrounding the yard, and turned the ends of their noses pink. It was cool enough that no other children were out on this windy day, they had the garden to themselves, just the way they liked it.

The older boy swung back and forth from his arms then leapt forward and plummeted down to the gravel below him with a crunch. The younger boy laughed. The older walked up to his brother and twisted him in his swing until the chains lifted him up and threatened to tangle his head and hair in the links.

“Sirius, stop!” the younger boy giggled.

Sirius stopped and stepped back laughing to watch his brother spin back out of the coil. The younger boy was still giggling as he hopped off his swing, dizzy and stumbling. Sirius steadied him then ran to one of the trees, the best one for climbing. The younger boy followed, struggling to reach his brother already perched on a large branch, legs dangling over each side.

When the younger boy was seated in the tree, Sirius said with a sigh, “I’m bored.”

“You’re always bored,” his brother answered.

“Not next year. Next year this time I’ll be at Hogwarts,” he said with a smug grin.

His brother’s face fell. Sirius grabbed a leaf, twirling it between his thumb and forefinger then started tearing it along the veins. He glanced up through his long fringe and saw his brother still pouting. He swatted at the younger boy’s shoulder.

“Come off it, Regulus, you know I’m leaving next year.”

“You don’t have to sound off about it all the time,” Regulus said.

Sirius let go of the leaf and watched what was left of it float down until the brisk wind took hold of it and whipped it across the grass.

Regulus looked behind him, face into the wind, his hair blowing back out of his face. He checked the sky. It was ablaze with autumn hues, the sun just starting to drift down into the skyline.

“Mother said to be home before dusk,” he said.

Sirius glanced down the road at Number 12 Grimmauld Place. His mother was in her sitting room when they left. She had just opened a bottle of potion.

“Will father be home tonight?” Regulus asked, breaking Sirius of his thoughts.

“Late tonight,” he answered, picking at bits of lose tree bark.

“We should go back.”

Sirius nodded in agreement and leapt down from the tree. He started off in the direction of the house while Regulus gingerly climbed down and out. Regulus followed his brother, only stopping to try to grab a lone apple off a branch out of his reach.

“Sirius,” he called.

Sirius looked back over his shoulder at his brother and noticed the fruit dangling above him. He walked to the tree and under the branch. He jumped up towards the apple but could not reach. He pulled Regulus over to stand directly under it and wrapped his arms around his brother’s waist and hoisted him up to retrieve the fruit. Victorious, the smaller boy smiled as he bit into the prize, dripping juice out of the corner of his mouth before his brother could even return him to the ground.

They walked shoulder to shoulder down the walk. Sirius picked up a stick and ran it along the picket fence creating a rickety clacking sound. Regulus offered the apple and Sirius bit off more than could fit in his mouth. He chewed around it and swallowed handing what was left of the fruit back to his brother.

Up ahead Sirius spotted a Muggle boy who had to be near his own age. He was all alone and kicking a ball up against the fence. Muggles were a curious thing to Sirius. He had never had much contact with them apart from the view of the ones on the street from his bedroom window. He knew the children played odd games with sticks and balls and strange games similar to Quidditch that involved this type of ball and nets on the end of a pitch.

He knew he needn’t be afraid of Muggles, he of course was far superior, but he did know they were foul creatures that should not be trusted. Sirius eyed him curiously. The boy, unknowing of the two pairs of watchful eyes, lobbed the ball high enough that it flew into the air so he could knock it back against the fence with his forehead. Regulus snickered at the boy’s apparent stupidity.

“Oi,” Sirius called up to him. The boy grabbed the ball and turned to look at him. Regulus too, gawked up at his brother.

“Mother said not to talk to anyone,” Regulus hissed up at him.

Sirius ignored him and walked up closer near the boy. Regulus followed hesitantly, stopping just behind his brother.

“Reckon I can have a go?” Sirius asked the boy, nodding towards the ball in his hands.

The boy shrugged and unexpectedly tossed the ball to Sirius. Unthinking, Sirius caught it with both hands just in front of his chest. Behind him he heard Regulus’ sharp intake of breath. Sirius dropped the ball instantly and it bounced unceremoniously into the street. His parents had told him to stay away from mudbloods. He wondered if he might catch some horrible disease from the boy’s ball. His mother had warned him that Muggles were contagious. He had just wanted to give the ball a good kick. He looked curiously at the mudblood and wondered if he should run across the street home and quickly wash his hands.

He felt Regulus grab his sleeve and start to pull him in that direction.

“You need to wash your hands!” Regulus hissed.

Sirius nodded and as they crossed the street he kicked the ball back at the Muggle. The boy gave the brothers an odd look and yelled, “Freaks!”

The brothers opened the gate and trudged up the winding, brick path to the black front door, their heavy cloaks billowing behind them. The serpent shaped knocker hissed at them as they waved their hands in front of it, unlocking the wards that were put up by their father.

The inside hall was quiet. The boys were hanging their cloaks when the house elf startled them.

“Young masters will remove their muddy shoes or mistress will have their heads,” the elf croaked.

“Yours will be next, Kreacher,” Sirius answered, pointing to the row of mounted house elf heads on the wall but both boys obediently removed their shoes. They ran in stocking feet across the hall to the bath to clean up.

“Mistress is wanting to see you,” Kreacher popped his head in the small room.

The boys looked at one another then back at the elf.

“What does she want with us?” Regulus asked innocently.

“Mistress is in a state,” the elf answered under his breath, trudging back down the hall.

Sirius sighed as he began to climb the staircase to the third floor family wing, Regulus behind him. Both boys felt the impending doom awaiting them. Sirius didn’t know how much Regulus knew about their mother’s ‘state’ and what that meant. He was only seven years old after all. He glanced back at his brother whose expression must have mirrored his own. They reached their parent’s master suite and Sirius knocked.

“Mother?” he called in just more than a whisper.

“Arcturus?” a voice came from inside.

“No Mother, it’s me, Sirius.”

Within seconds the double doors rattled on their hinges as the sound of a breaking bottle crashed against the inside of the door. Both boys jumped. Looking down, Sirius noticed an amber liquid start to pool under the door and leak into the hall.

Sirius looked over at his brother. Regulus returned the look with wide, terrified eyes. Sirius cleared his throat and called a little louder.

“Mother?”

Sirius reached for the door knob but Regulus grabbed his sleeve; when he looked over Regulus was shaking his head.

“We shouldn’t go in,” he whispered.

“We have to. She wants to see us and she knows we’re out here,” Sirius reasoned.

“I don’t want to,” he continued to shake his head. “She scares me when she’s like this.”

Sirius thought for a moment then told his brother to go run a bath and he’d tend to their mother. Regulus wasted no time sprinting as quietly as possible down the hall, the bath door closing with a quiet click.

Sirius reached up and ran his fingers quickly through his hair, smoothed down the front of his shirt, took a deep breath and turned the door handle. When he stepped inside he was greeted with furrowed brows and pursed lips. His mother was draped on her chaise in her bed robes, her black hair swept up in loose curls on top of her head, clutching a delicate glass in one hand.

His parent’s master suite was a large room with an attached sitting room. This is where his mother spent most of her evenings, especially when their father was out of town. The heavy, velvet curtains in both rooms were drawn and the only light was emitted from the iron sconces on the dark walls. His mother looked up at him through heavily lidded eyes.

“Where’s your father?” she asked in a slow, drawling voice.

Sirius cleared his throat again.

“He is on business in Switzerland, Mother. Remember?”

Dawning appeared across his mother’s face and suddenly took on the appearance of someone sad and lonely. She sat silent for a moment staring off at nothing in particular. Sirius hated it when his father was away for his work. He hated being the man of the house and his mother did not think he was a good substitute anyway.

“Where is your brother?”

“He’s drawing a bath. He was chilled from the outside and I thought a bath would warm him.”

Mrs. Black nodded and her face softened with the hint of a smile.

“Come sit with me, darling.”

Sirius crossed the room and sat next to his mother. She reached up and gently stroked his hair.

“You’re a beautiful child, Sirius,” she said lovingly. She sighed then added, “We have so many plans for you. You’re going to be one of the great Blacks. You are the heir, you know.”

Sirius smiled awkwardly up at his mother. She had a glazed look that he knew all too well. She started humming, continuing her ministrations. Sirius loved when his mother played with his hair. She didn’t do it often but it was cherished when she did. After a moment of this she lifted her empty glass.

“Fill my glass, dear.”

Sirius stood and crossed the room to where his mother kept her potion. He opened the cupboard but it was empty. He looked about the room for another bottle, quickly eyeing the broken bottle on the floor at the bedroom doors.

“Mother, there is no more.”

His mother’s face fell and her annoyance was instantly visible. She turned angry eyes on him, “What do you mean there is no more? That’s impossible. Now fetch me more potion.”

Sirius looks around the room again. He walked from end to end and around again. In a small, hesitant voice he said.

“Mother, I’m sorry, I cannot find anymore.”

Mrs. Black shot up out of her seat. “Stop saying that, you little liar!” She shoved him away and moved towards the cupboard, swinging the hinged door open violently. “Where is it?” She pulled out her wand, “Accio!” She wandered around the room looking in odd spots for a bottle. Sirius stood silently and watched her. “Accio! Where is it?” Her search ineffective, she turned on him, “Where did you hide it, you little liar!”

Sirius stepped back.

“Arcturus!” she yelled. Rummaging through pillows and books and whatever else littered the room. She yelled out the doorway and down the hall, “Arcturus!”

She turned her angry glare to Sirius, “Go tell your father to come up here and make me my potion!”

“Mother,” Sirius started quietly, “Father isn’t home. He’s in Switzerland, remember?” Sirius backed up against the wall, “Remember, *mother?”

It happened in a matter of a second; she hurled across the room towards him and the back of her hand cracked across Sirius’s cheekbone snapping his head sideways.

“Don’t you lie to me! You’re always lying to me!”

She brandished her wand and pointed it at his nose, his eyes popping wide in surprise, her eyes glaring down at him. Sirius squeaked in terror. His mother had hexed him many times before and the memories were never pleasant. He had once spent an entire week silenced by one of her “Silencio” hexes when she felt he was lying to her, until his father had come home and removed the spell. It took Sirius the better part of the day to get his voice working properly again.

Her hand came down once again, this time her palm meeting against his other cheek with a smack.

“Get out of my sight!” she roared. Sirius ducked around her and hastily left the room closing the door and leaving Mrs. Black shouting for her husband behind it.

He rushed down the hall, tripping once on the plush rug, getting as much space between him and his mother. When he reached the bath door he took a deep breath before entering.

He found his brother immersed in the soapy water of the claw foot tub. Regulus looked up as Sirius entered the room. Sirius saw him glance up and notice the growing bruise on his cheek. They exchanged silent glances.

Regulus knew what must have happened, it had happened so many times before. He gave his brother an apologetic look, no mention of the obvious, and went back to cleansing himself. Sirius began washing himself up in the marble sink, tenderly cupping his cheek with the cold rag.

“You need to wash your hair,” he reminded his brother.

“I did last night,” Regulus whined.

Sirius gave him a look through the mirror and Regulus let out an exasperated sigh, sat up and reached for the pitcher next to the tub. He filled it and handed it to his brother who had sat down next to the tub on the floor. Sirius slowly tipped the water over his brother’s head. He waited while his brother lathered up, then rinsed it for him. He got up to leave the room.

“Where are you going?” Regulus sputtered behind dripping hair and half closed eyes.

With no answer, Sirius left the room.

*~*

Dinner that night consisted of cold porridge. Nights when his father was not home and his mother was in one of her states, the boys would dine in the basement kitchen instead of the lavish upstairs dining room. When he asked Kreacher to fix him something he knew it would be less than appealing. He was not mistaken. Kreacher took orders from Sirius but he could tell the elf didn’t like to. Sirius couldn’t wait until this house elf was dead and mounted like the rest of them. Where was aunt Elladora when you needed her?

But instead of complaining he sat down at the long, wooden kitchen table alone and literally inhaled the cold cereal. It was not something to enjoy, merely sustenance.

Afterwards he wandered aimlessly throughout the house. There were certain rooms he was afraid to enter, especially after dark. The House of Black held many dark and dangerous items. Growing up in a home full of dark wizards, it was just something you had to live with, but that didn’t mean you ever got used to it. Hearing an eerie rattling coming from behind the study doors he quickened his steps down the hall.

Sirius ended up in the library. He walked back and forth past the walls of books. He ran his thumb over the thick tomes. He found Great Wizards of the Twentieth Century, and Weird Wizarding Dilemmas and Their Solutions, and even a Quidditch book, The Noble Sport of Warlocks, but instead decided on Powers You Never Knew You Had and What to Do With Them Now You’ve Wised Up. He stole a cushion from one of the sofas and plopped down on it in front of the fire, book in hand.

Sometime after, he heard Regulus enter the room.

“What are you reading?” his brother asked as he sat down on the floor opposite him, smelling of soap and wearing his dressing gown and robe.

Sirius ignored him.

Regulus poked Sirius’s forehead.

“What are you reading?” Regulus repeated.

Irritated, Sirius looked up at his brother. “Go away.”

Regulus sniffed but stayed put. After a moment he yawned loudly.

“Whatever it is, could you read it to me?”

“Go. Away.” Sirius persisted.

“Where am I supposed to go?” Regulus asked incredulously.

“I don’t care,” Sirius answered not looking up from his book. “You’ve followed me around all day. Now leave me alone.”

Regulus stood but did not leave the room. Instead he settled for plopping down into the sofa.

Sirius enjoyed the quiet for a few minutes until Regulus moaned.

“I’m hungry. When will father get home?”

Sirius looked over at his brother, angry retort at the ready when they heard the door to the library click open. Arcturus Black entered the room looking tired from his journey.

“Father, you’re home!” Regulus beamed. Hopping up from the sofa and rushing Mr. Black with excitement only a seven year old can muster. He stopped abruptly in front of his father. “Did you bring us anything?”

Mr. Black smiled a tired smile down at his youngest son and rested his hand on top of the boy’s head. “I brought you sweets. The best chocolate Switzerland had to offer.”

“Can I have some now? Please? I’m hungry!”

“You’ll have to wait until tomorrow as it’s too late in the evening for sweets. Didn’t you have dinner? Has your mother retired for the evening?” This last question was directed at his oldest son.

Sirius approached his father but kept his distance, hoping the dimly lit room would hide the results of he and his mother’s confrontation just an hour earlier. “Hello father. Mother is upstairs.”

“I hope you boys behaved yourselves.” With another glance over at Sirius his father’s gaze crossed his swelling cheek. Mr. Black’s face fell. He walked towards his oldest son and placed his hand gently on his cheek. “What is this?”

Sirius couldn’t look up into his father’s eyes and instead focused on the waistcoat in front of him.

“Sirius,” his father asked, “what did you do?”

Sirius looked up into his father’s face, incredulously, but stopped himself from answering. It would fall on deaf ears.

“What did you do?” His father’s voice was growing angry.

Sirius shook his head, “I didn’t do anything!”

“You must have done something to anger her!” His father huffed and walked towards the fireplace. He slammed a hand down onto the mantle with a smack. “Every time I leave I come back to this!”

“Father,” Regulus but in, “Sirius was trying to help Mother find her potion. I heard them down the hall. He didn’t mean to upset her.”

Mr. Black turned around slowly and addressed his youngest son with a direct order.

“Go to bed.”

Regulus looked down at his toes and retreated out the library door, “Yes, sir.”

Once Regulus had left the room Mr. Black rubbed his hands over his tired face. He walked over to one of the two leather bound chairs in front of a large window and sat. He reached over and from a small silver case on the table he removed a cigarette. Lighting it with the tip of his wand, he inhaled deeply then sighed. He crossed his legs and sunk deeper into the chair, eyes drifting up and down his oldest son still standing in the middle of the room. He inhaled once more and upon releasing the smoke motioned for Sirius to sit in the chair opposite him.

Sirius sat in the big winged back chair, his feet dangling, not yet long enough to reach the floor, waiting for whatever reason his father could come up with for his mother’s assault. This was nothing new. His father always made excuses for her. He waited for the speech to begin, already knowing the outcome.

Sirius would apologize in the morning and all would be right in the House of Black…at least for now.

Chapter Two


December 31, 1970

The room was grand and draped in rich colorful fabrics. There was a piano magically playing softly in the background while the elite of the Wizarding world mingled about. Insincere compliments were paid here and there; questioning glares bouncing from eye to eye, smug faces spoke inappropriate comments when backs were turned. This was Pure Blood Society, every family elaborately parading their lineage and worth like peacocks amusing each other with gaudy and pretentious plumage.

Sirius sat near the wall on a large cushioned bench next to his brother waiting for dinner to be served, both boys dressed in their velvet Fauntleroy suits. He fidgeted and tucked a finger into his itchy, lace collar and pulled to loosen the scarf around his neck. Sirius hated smart parties. He was expected to be quiet and polite and only speak when spoken to and honestly there was no fun in that.

This was New Years Eve at the house of Orionis and Lyra Black, Sirius’s aunt and uncle. Sirius glanced around the room to find a familiar face and his wish was granted. Directly across the room from him sat two of his cousins, Narcissa and Andromeda.

His view was quickly obscured by a rather fat witch stuffed ridiculously into tight silk robes and squeezed with a corset around her bulging middle. Sirius thought when she walked her bum looked like two pigs stuffed under a silk blanket fighting desperately to get out.

When the large witch moved, Andromeda was still looking over at him. Sirius pulled an absurd face at his cousin. She giggled, caught herself, and then hid her smile behind a gloved hand. The large witch moved again in his line of view, she cackled as she drank deeply from her goblet then moved forward once more. Andromeda was still staring at him and now Narcissa was too. Sirius grabbed his ascot and lifted it up like a noose. He tilted his head, waggled his tongue and made his eyes bulge. When he saw his cousins again through the crowded room, Andromeda’s head was down but her shoulders were shaking in silent laughter and Narcissa, to the right of her, was giggling as well. Regulus beside him was snorting into his hand.

Sirius loved making his cousin Andromeda laugh. She was an easy target. She was a happy girl and a little on the mischievous side and even though she was older than he, they got on quite well. They found very early on in their lives that they had a lot in common. They were a combined front. They both quite disliked Bella and Cissy.

Sirius continued his theatrics, grabbed one of Regulus’s hands and clenched it around his own throat. He crossed his eyes, stuck out his tongue, and exaggeratedly shook his head back to front and side to side pulling his brother with him making it look as though Regulus was choking him. Regulus snorted in laughter but soon regained his composure when Arcturus and Denebola Black stopped in front of their two sons. Once recognition dawned, Sirius gave a small cough, straightened his tie, and slowly looked up through his fringe to meet the angry glare of his parents.

Mrs. Black rolled her eyes and gave an exasperated sigh while Mr. Black’s gaze did not leave him.

Mr. Black stepped aside to reveal a stout man with a face like a barracuda; beady eyes, long nose and sharp angled teeth.

“As I was saying, Nott, Sirius here will be starting at Hogwarts next year.”

Sirius stood and looked up, extending his hand to Mr. Nott, “Good evening, sir.”

The man grinned and looked back at Sirius’s father, “Don’t be harsh, Arcturus, the boy’s just trying to stay entertained. Here you are, boy.”

Mr. Nott took Sirius’s hand and instead of shaking it turned it palm side up. He removed his wand from his belt and with a soft tap two large, buttery toffees appeared in Sirius’s hand. With a large smile he thanked him.

Mr. Nott winked down at the boys. “Be sure to introduce yourself to my son. He’s about your age.”

“This young man must be?” Mr. Nott nodded towards Regulus.

“This is my youngest, Regulus,” Mr. Black gestured. “Old Slughorn can’t have him yet. He’s staying with me for a few more years.” Both men chuckled at the apparent joke.

Sirius watched his father as he conversed with Mr. Nott. Arcturus Black was an illustrious, fit man with black, shortly trimmed hair and a mustache. His facial features could only be described as aristocratic; long straight nose, high cheek bones, strong chin and jaw line. He wore his best suit draped in his most expensive robes. He stood tall, shoulders back with one hand in his waistcoat pocket fingering the ancient pocket watch that magically kept time down to the exact second.

Sirius absently smiled as he eyed his father. He stood a little straighter as pride welled up inside him. Sirius wanted to be just like him when he was older. Arcturus Black commanded the attention of a room the moment he walked into it. People liked and respected him and his opinions. Sirius wanted to be respected like that. He would do it. He was destined for greatness after all. He was the heir to the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black. At least that’s what his parents had always told him…although at the age of ten he wasn’t quite sure what that meant yet.

To the boys’ relief, everyone was called to dinner which meant the children could retreat down to the smaller dinning room with the watchful, yet less obtrusive eyes of nannies, nurses, and house elves.

“Sirius, Regulus is your charge,” Mrs. Black instructed as she peered from behind Mr. Nott chatting with whom must have been Mrs. Nott.

“Yes, mother.”

Sirius grabbed Regulus’s hand and the boys followed the other children out of the hall.

*~*

Dinner in the children’s wing was much louder than their elders’ quarters.

Hands on Regulus’s shoulders, Sirius steered the two of them through the laughing and overexcited crowd of pure blood children. He knew some of them from the circles his parents socialized in. He saw the same faces at most gatherings although New Years was the biggest party at the Black household. Two girls with ridiculously curly hair he’d never seen before stared as they walked by then proceeded to giggle furiously when they had passed. Sirius eyed them warily but continued on. Finally he found two vacant seats near the end of the table and by his three cousins, Narcissa, Andromeda, and now they were joined by the middle girl, Bellatrix.

Andromeda, the oldest, was in her fifth year at Hogwarts while Bellatrix was in her third. Narcissa, just a year older than Sirius was in the middle of her first year there and she never neglected a chance to remind him that he was a mere child for still being home tutored.

“Well look who it is, the baby boys of the family,” Bellatrix taunted from her seat at the table. Bella, like Narcissa, could never deny pestering Sirius.

“Shove off, Bella, you’re not much older,” Sirius muttered as he pulled the chair out next to her and sat.

“Honestly, Sirius, pulling faces like that,” Andromeda teased. “You’re a proper idiot!”

“Well hullo to you too, Ana-banana,” Sirius acknowledged Andromeda who was wearing her traditional yellow dress.

“Don’t call me that!” she pouted.

Regulus laughed, “Well you do sort of look like a banana. You’re tall and skinny and you always wear yellow.”

“You be quiet,” Andromeda pointed at Regulus then turned to her sister and mumbled under her breath, “She always makes me wear the yellow. You should wear it next time.”

“It looks good with your hair,” Narcissa answered with a shrug. “You know Mother says I can’t wear yellow because I’m so fair. I look much better in the blue.”

Sirius groaned, “Who cares what you wear? I’d rather go starkers than be stuck in this itchy thing.” He edged his fork under his lace collar and scratched at his neck.

“That’s disgusting, you do know that?” Andromeda watched as he then used the same fork to jab at a cooked carrot.

Sirius grinned back at her as he happily chewed and she made a disgusted face.

“I thought I’d choke from laughter when your father caught you,” Narcissa added, laughing at her cousin once again as she delicately cut a portion of roast.

“Was he angry with you for acting up?” Andromeda asked.

“No,” Sirius shrugged it off and reached for some bread.

“Cissy, pass the roast chicken,” Regulus piped up and Sirius placed bread on his brother’s plate as well.

“Poor Regulus has to put up with you and your stupid antics,” said Bellatrix adding a pile of mashed potatoes to her plate.

“I was just having a laugh. We are at a party, you know,” Sirius answered.

“You always act an idiot and make a spectacle of yourself,” Bellatrix retorted.

Sirius shrugged, “I like the attention. I am the heir, you know.” He smirked at her, “Even if I’m a baby. I’m still more important than you.”

Bellatrix scowled back at him with no comment.

“Sirius is funny and he’s fun to be around,” Regulus added as he fingered through the platter of chicken legs.

“Stupid isn’t funny,’ Bellatrix answered back in a superior tone. She added pudding to her plate.

Sirius eyed said plate. When he looked up at his cousin she was looking back at him with a challenging expression.

“I don’t think your mother would approve of all that.” Sirius puffed out his cheeks and stretched out his arms for the appearance of a round belly. He laughed then added in an unmistakable impression of his Aunt Lyra, “Bella you must eat like a proper young lady. You want to grow to be a delicate flower and not an enormous cow.”

All the cousins but one laughed at that. Bellatrix was by no means fat, but for a girl with such a small stature, she was a little plump for her age. She was fair skinned with long jet black hair. The girls’ mother was always quite controlling over their dress, behavior, food and the like, but Bellatrix being the middle child and in the throes of puberty took the blunt of Aunt Lyra’s watchful eye. Sirius knew just what buttons to push to get a rise out of Bellatrix. And once again, he was not wrong. Soon she had her wand pointed at him threateningly. Sirius dropped his cutlery and stared back at her with wide eyes.

“If you don’t shut your gob, I’ll hex you so you’re sprouting tentacles from your face. Of course,” she added, “that would be an improvement.”

Sirius pursed his lips and sulked. He wanted a wand so badly he could taste it. He couldn’t wait until next year when he’d finally get one of his own. Then his cousins wouldn’t always have the upper hand, especially Bellatrix.

“Bella, put that away. You can’t use it outside of school anyway,” Andromeda said.

“I can so!”

“For day to day spells yes, but you can’t hex people!” Andromeda warned.

“But he doesn’t know that,” Bellatrix returned her wand to her lap then added, “Well he didn’t until now.”

*~*

Once dinner had ended the children scattered around the wing of the house in various activities. Sirius sat at a small round table with Andromeda playing chess as Regulus watched on. Bellatrix was talking in the corner with a boy named Avery, and Narcissa was…well Sirius didn’t care where she was as long as she wasn’t around him.

“Are you nearly finished?” Regulus whined.

“No. Go play somewhere else,” Sirius answered, irritated.

“There’s nothing to do,” he said.

Sirius gave him an angry look.

“Go play with Cissy,” Andromeda offered as she moved her knight. The knight attacked one of Sirius’s pawns with a force that catapulted it across the table. Andromeda swiped down and caught it up before it landed on the floor.

“Good catch,” Sirius said, impressed.

“No way am I playing with Cissy. Last time she bit me!”

"She only bites if she doesn't get her way," Sirius reasoned.

"No!" Regulus scowled.

Sirius shrugged his reply and focused his attention back on the game.

Regulus slunk back down in his chair to pout. “Sirius, we could go and…”

“You don’t have to be around me every second of the day!” Sirius shouted.

Regulus, shaken by his brother’s outburst, stood and sulked off to sit with some boys playing Gobstones. Sirius saw him shoot a glance back at the two of them. Sirius ignored it.

Once their chess game had resumed Andromeda said quietly, “You didn’t need to shout at him.”

“I just get tired of him following me around. He acts like he can’t do anything without me,” Sirius answered as he moved his Queen’s side castle.

“He looks up to you.”

Sirius shrugged. He thought about that for a moment. Something else occurred to him.

“Andromeda…do you…” Sirius paused, biting his lower lip.

His cousin raised her eyebrows at him in question.

“Do you think,” Sirius continued, “that I’m like my father?”

Andromeda studied him, “Well you look like him.”

Sirius grimaced, “Well of course I look like him. That’s not what I mean.”

Andromeda played with the pawn in her hand avoiding Sirius’ eyes. Finally she looked up at him.

“Am I like him, Ana?” Sirius asked, desperate for an answer.

“Do you want to be?”

“Of course!” Sirius answered, surprised by the question.

Andromeda smiled at him but the smile did not reach her eyes. She nodded, “Yes, you’re like your father.”

Sirius’ smile threatened to engulf his face. His chin lifted and the smile was replaced by a smug grin. “I’m going to be like him. I’m going to be just like him.”

Andromeda continued a forced smile but something in her eyes showed a great sadness at this revelation. She studied the board and after a long moment a real smile shown through,

“Checkmate!”

Sirius’s smug grin was replaced by a grumpy face and furrowed brows, “I hate playing chess with you.”

It was Andromeda’s turn to wear the smug grin, “They didn’t put me in Ravenclaw for nothing.”

“Play again?” Sirius asked, already setting up the board.

“No.” Andromeda sighed and sat back in her chair. She fiddled with the ends of the white satin ribbon that adorned her yellow dress, apparently debating something internally.

“Sirius?”

“Hmm?” he answered, still busy with the game board.

“I want to show you something,” Andromeda said in a low voice.

Sirius looked up, her tone peaking his curiosity, “What?”

She leaned forward so their heads were nearly touching, “Something I found just the other day.”

“What is it?”

She shook her head and glanced around for unwanted ears, “Not here. It’s in my father’s study.”

Sirius glanced around as well. Seeing no one had really noticed the two of them, they headed for the door towards the staircase. With one last glance over at Regulus, who seemed content with playing Gobstones, Sirius followed his cousin out of the room.

They made their way easily up the stairs, avoiding all adults. When they reached her father’s study Andromeda lifted her wand to the doorknob.

“Alohomora!” she whispered and with a soft click the door opened.

Andromeda hurried in, grabbing Sirius’s sleeve and pulling him inside and closing the door behind them at once. The room was completely dark.

“Lumos!”

Her wand emitted enough light that it flickered across the many items in the room giving them an eerie glow. It made Sirius feel like there were a dozen Flobberworms in the pit of his stomach. It reminded him of Number 12 Grimmauld Place. Of course, this house was not unlike Number 12, same family, same sort of ominous artifacts that ornamented the home, it was something he thought he’d never get used to no matter how long he lived. Both homes seemed dark even if the light of day shown bright.

“It’s over here,” Andromeda whispered as she walked across the room towards her father’s large mahogany desk. Sirius followed close behind. His heart was pounding but it wasn’t for fear. It was the thrill of uncovering a secret, of knowing something no one else knew. He wondered what his cousin could possibly show him.

She removed a large photo album from her father’s bottom desk drawer. She plopped it on the floor and they both sat down in front of it, their feet tucked under them. Sirius looked over at Andromeda as she hesitated.

“Well open it!” Sirius couldn’t take the anticipation any longer. Patience was something he had never been accused of having.

With one last glance at him, Andromeda hastily flipped the cover of the photo book so it lay open somewhere towards the middle. She slowly started lifting the pages. Sirius noticed they were pictures mostly of his father and his uncle, Andromeda’s father. Not anything unusual. Their father’s were brothers after all and they did many things together.

In one picture Sirius saw Orionis Black pointing up at what looked like a large Asian hut. It was colorful and the architecture was odd and something he’d never seen before. Another picture showed his father apparently in a wizarding pub waving shyly at the camera as two witches stood on either side of him, apparently very intrigued by him. There were other wizards in other pictures as well; most of whom Sirius knew very well. There was Mr. Nott, Mr. Avery, Mr. Lestrange, Mr. McNair, and both Mr. Blacks standing in front of huge trees and thick brush; they must have been in a tropical forest, sweat dripping down each man’s brow. They were patting each other’s shoulders as if congratulating one another.

Each picture showed a different background or setting. Sirius knew his father traveled all around the world, but he’d never seen any photographs of the places he’d been. Finally, Andromeda stopped at the very last picture in the book.

“There,” she pointed, “look.”

Sirius leaned forward to get a better look.

There in the picture were three people. Two of the people were men bound and gagged and hanging from some sort of invisible hooks. The one was apparently attempting to shout and plead with someone behind the camera, blood trickling from the gag cutting into the edge of his mouth. The other man’s head was lulling to the side and he was not moving. Sirius’s breath caught. The man looked…dead.

The third man in the picture was Andromeda’s father, Orionis Black. He was bundled in his thickest cloak, wrapped in a scarf and hat and smiling and raising his tankard. Sirius noticed the background of this picture. Beautiful, grand white topped mountains. He wondered where this picture was taken and when.

Not knowing what to say, he finally took his gaze off the picture and looked over at his cousin who was staring at him, waiting for his reaction. When he said nothing, she spoke.

“I think they’re Muggles.”

The Flobberworms in Sirius’s stomach were suddenly fighting with all their might to get out. He swallowed hard to push them down.

“You think your father…” But he couldn’t say it.

Andromeda nodded slowly.

“Do you think both of the Muggles…?”

Andromeda shrugged but again nodded.

Sirius looked back down at the photo.

“Who do you suppose took this picture?” Sirius asked.

Andromeda shrugged, “I don’t know.” And it was the truth.

“Well,” Sirius tried to think of something to say, “Mother says Muggles are filthy creatures. She says they spread their vile sickness throughout the world. Maybe they tried to hurt your father or possibly infect him?”

“My father’s a powerful wizard. He could have easily just Stunned them!”

“Maybe that’s what he did,” Sirius reasoned. “And the Muggles were so weak it killed them!”

“Maybe,” she sighed.

Andromeda lifted her knees and hugged them to her chest. She rested her chin between them. Sirius closed the book and leaned back against the desk, his legs stretched out in front of him. He played with the buttons on his suit jacket.

“Sirius?”

He looked over at his cousin.

“Do you think my father was Muggle hunting?”

Sirius shrugged, honestly at a loss for words.

“Because, well…at school…one of my friends, Marlene, is a Muggle born.”

Sirius’s mouth dropped open, “A Mudblood?”.

Suddenly Andromeda’s tone turned enthusiastic as she spoke of her friend. She turned to Sirius and smiled,

“Sirius, you’d love her! She’s the coolest person I know. She’s a laugh to be around and she’s always getting into mischief! But fun like, you know, nothing bad.”

Sirius lifted one side of his mouth in a half-hearted grin.

“I just couldn’t imagine someone hunting her down…you know?” she added solemnly.

The conversation was cut short when the two of them heard another voice whisper outside the door then a muffled giggle.

“Nox!” Andromeda dimmed the light.

Sirius felt around the floor for the book, grabbed it then crawled under the desk, cracking his head on the underside. Andromeda followed pulling the chair in on them to hide. They sat huddled together, Sirius clutching his head in silent agony.

Two people entered the room; the one’s voice was Bellatrix as she whispered, “In here, no one will come in here.”

The other voice was male although still a tenor. His breath was heavy and he sounded excited. “Bella, you said once we were alone I could kiss you.”

Relieved that is wasn’t either of their parents and surprised by the sudden situation at hand, Sirius and Andromeda exchanged wild looks. Sirius’s face cracked into an evil smile while his cousin covered her mouth to stifle a giggle.

“Hold on, Thomas, I can’t see where I’m going. Lumos! For Merlin’s sake, don’t grab at me.”

Sirius, unable to control it, snorted. Andromeda smacked his leg and gave him a warning look.

“You promised,” the boy named Thomas whined.

They heard Bellatrix giggle and then the unmistakable sound of kissing. The kissing turned into the sound of wild slurping. Under the desk, Sirius grimaced and Andromeda’s face scrunched in a suppressed laugh.

“Oh Thomas,” Bellatrix purred.

“Bella, you’re so beautiful. Can I put my hand…just there? Please?”

Bellatrix giggled, “Thomas that tickles!”

Sirius leaned in so his lips brushed against Andromeda’s hair and he whispered, “Your sister’s a tart.”

Andromeda elbowed him and he winced. They both shook in a silent fit of giggles.

The slurping continued and things progressed. The giggling turned into sighing, the sighing soon turned into moaning. The breaking point came when Sirius heard a pair of trousers being unzipped and Bellatrix whisper, “Thomas, you have to show me what I’m supposed to do with it.”

A bark-like laugh shot out from under the mahogany desk. Two startled teenagers could be heard fumbling with clothing and soon materialized behind the desk and peering down at Sirius and Andromeda huddled together for dear life.

“Get out from under there!” Bellatrix screeched through gritted teeth.

“Don’t get angry at us,” Andromeda shot back climbing out from under the desk, “we didn’t mean to be a part of your torrid affair.”

“What were you doing in here?” Bellatrix asked.

Before they could answer there was a knock on the door. It was Narcissa.

“Bella? Bella, are you in there? Someone’s coming!”

“Did you pay Cissy to be your watch dog?” Sirius asked with a smirk, dusting off his bum with his hands.

Bellatrix shot him a nasty look before running to the door. She opened it a crack. They heard Cissy’s voice.

“Bella, it’s nearly midnight. Everyone’s heading back to the ballroom. Father’s done the enchantment.”

Bellatrix nodded and closed the door. She looked over at her sister and cousin and nodded towards the door.

“C’mon you lot, hurry or we’ll miss it. We’ll be expected in the ball room.”

Sirius and Andromeda headed out the door first and Bellatrix followed them with an angry glare, Thomas bringing up the behind. Sirius couldn’t look him in the face without snickering so he felt safer, seeing as Thomas Avery was a good three stone heavier than he, with keeping his head down until they reached the ballroom.

The girl’s father had charmed the ceiling of the ballroom to reflect the night sky. The New Year had begun unceremoniously since they’d missed the countdown to midnight. Everyone was looking upward and the ballroom was alight with cheers and laughter, as the ceiling glittered with fireworks blazing into shapes of the constellations, meteors, comments and shooting stars. Sirius marveled for a moment up at it until he felt a prod at his back. Bellatrix looked down at him then pointed over to his family.

Leaving the angry glare of Bellatrix behind, he found himself in the path of another angry stare. He saw his mother standing in the ballroom with his father, her hand resting on Regulus’s shoulder and he could see that Regulus’s nose had been bleeding and he had been crying.

“Oh no,” Sirius sighed.

He crossed the room and stood in front of his mother. Before he could say a word she started in at him.

“You left him! You left him to fend for himself!” She was yelling at him in an audible whisper. Regulus sniffed and wiped at his eyes trying to dry his face.

“I’m sorry, Mother.” He looked over at Regulus and gave him an apologetic face. Then directed back to his mother he said, “I was with Andro…”

“I don’t care where you were! I gave you instructions to watch over your brother and while you were gone, three boys started a row with him! Three, Sirius!” She reiterated as if he didn’t hear her and he were an imbecile.

Sirius noticed a few families around them turning their eyes from the ceiling and tuning in on his mother’s angry words. He wanted to melt into the floor and disappear; and at the same time, he wanted nothing more than to find those three boys and do now exactly what he’d have done had he been there to defend Regulus.”

Instead, here merely muttered, “Mother, I didn’t think…”

“Of course you didn’t think! You never think!” There was a fire in her eyes as his mother raised her hand quickly above her head to strike at him. Arcturus Black reached up and grabbed his wife’s wrist. He whispered loud enough for Sirius to hear.

“Not here, Denebola.”

Sirius was silently glad for his father at that moment until he heard him mumble to his wife.

“Not in front of all these guests. Wait until we get home.”

“Happy New Year!”

Sirius heard the joyous shouts coming from all around him. For some reason his mind went back to the photo in his uncle’s study. He wasn’t sure why it bothered him now. There had to have been a good reason for that picture. He thought about his father standing tall, talking to Nott earlier that evening. He knew he wanted to be like his father but sometimes his father let him down. Sometimes…like now. It was now nineteen seventy-one, and for some reason the rapturous shouts of, ‘Happy New Year!’ didn’t mean a thing to Sirius Black.

Chapter Three

August 31, 1971




"Where is it?" Sirius yelled.

"I told you I don't know!" Regulus answered.

Sirius lunged at his brother and Regulus took off like a shot towards the door of his bedroom. He dodged Sirius's arms and ducked past him and out into the hall. Sirius followed, trampling after him down the third floor family wing. Regulus accidentally knocked a vase off one of the hall tables. It came down with a crash as he passed and Sirius had to jump over the shards. Catching up to his brother near the stairway, he grabbed his arm nearly ripping it out of its socket.

"Ouch!" Regulus yelped.

"I'll yank your bloody arm off if you don't give it back!" Sirius warned.

"I don't have it!"

"You little liar! I know you took it out of my trunk! It was you!" Sirius roared.

"I didn't!" Regulus cried.

Sirius pulled Regulus towards him and his brother flinched. He wrapped his arms tightly around his brother’s waist and lifted him up, heading towards the banister over looking the front entrance down on the first floor. Regulus bucked and kicked and elbowed Sirius in the throat, but Sirius kept going.

"Sirius, put me down!"

He pushed Regulus’s head and torso over the edge and hung onto his brother by his trousers.

"Sirius, stop!" Regulus cried.

Regulus grabbed for the spindles of the banister, holding on to anything he could reach and kicked as his brother grabbed for his ankles. Sirius shoved him over so he was hanging upside down three floors up. Regulus screamed.

"Tell me where it is?" Sirius growled.

"I don't know," Regulus sobbed. "Put me down!"

"I'll put you down when you tell me what you did with it!"

Suddenly there was a high pitched screech from down below, followed by his mother bellowing, "Sirius Arcturus Mirzam Black, pull your brother down this instant!"

Sirius peered down over the banister to see his mother, wild-eyed and incredulous staring back up with her wand pointed straight at him.

"Versum Flixi!"

Before he knew what was happening Sirius flew up in the air and flipped upside down, the force of the action nearly knocking the wind out of him. Regulus too had been hit by her spell and was suspended in mid air beside him. Mrs. Black trudged up three flights of stairs, clutching her robe in one fist, her other hand clutched around her wand. When she reached her sons, Sirius was almost glad he was suspended in mid air. If he weren’t in this predicament, she looked as if she would throttle him.

Glaring at him, she screamed, "What on Merlin’s earth were you doing? You could have killed him!"

His mother jumped up, grabbing at Regulus's arm to pull him down. Once he was safely on the floor, patted clean and checked for bumps or bruises, she glared back up at her oldest son.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" she asked, hands on her hips.

Sirius hung, upside down, arms hanging over his head, the blood rushing between his ears making him feel loopy. It took him a moment to get his bearings.

"Regulus stole something from my school trunk and he won't give it back," Sirius complained.

Calmly she asked, “Regulus, what did you take?" Mrs. Black turned on her youngest son.

"Nothing!" Regulus answered, wide eyed and shaking his head.

"He's lying!" Sirius shouted from up above.

"Shut up, boy!" Mrs. Black shouted up at Sirius.

"Regulus, did you take something from your brother's trunk?"

"No, Mother."

Mrs. Black rounded back to her older son, "So you accuse your brother of stealing then dangle him over the ledge? Three stories up!"

"He took it, I know he did!" Sirius argued. Unexpectedly his mother swung up and cracked him across the face with the back of her hand. Sirius, helpless, gasped from the blow.

"Silence! One more word out of you and I'll hex you." Eyes wild, Sirius watched as something of an idea flitted across his mother’s face, "Or perhaps you'd like to know what it feels like to be dangled over the edge." With a flick of her wand Sirius shot out over the railing so there was nothing between him and the first floor foyer. Fear and nausea enveloped him. What was his mother going to do?

"Mother, I'm sorry, please..."

"No pleading now!" she bellowed, eyes crazed. Something manic inside her must have taken hold. "Are you afraid of falling, Sirius?" she taunted, sounding so much like his cousin Bellatrix.

She flicked her wand again and he plummeted, upside down, one story. He squeezed his eyes closed and screamed, palms down at the ready, a poor attempt to cushion his fall. Once he realized he'd stopped mid air, opening his eyes, he looked back up at his mother. She looked wild and demented glaring down at him a hint of a smile on the edge of her lips. She lifted her wand and he slowly floated back up to the third level. She left him bobbing up and down in mid air.

"What's wrong, Sirius dear?" His mother asked snidely.

"Mother," Sirius hiccupped then swallowed hard, "please put me down."

An evil smile spread across her face. Once again with a flick of her wand Sirius dropped several meters. He screamed again as the bottom floor came hurdling towards him. She stopped again before he actually hit. At the abrupt halt, he let out his captured breath. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Kreacher, the house elf, on the second floor watching him. The elf was snickering. Mrs. Black flipped Sirius right side up and floated him back up to the third floor. With another flick of her wand Sirius dropped like a heap onto the floor. He was red faced and panting.

His mother stared down at him, eyes hot, her chin raised in a challenge. After a long silence she asked coolly, "Have you learned your lesson?"

Sirius coughed, breathing heavily, and nodded enthusiastically, "Yes."

“Go to your room! Both of you!”

Sirius scrambled to his feet and rushed to his bedroom. He heard Regulus’s door slam just before his own. Once inside, he sat on the edge of his bed and tried to collect his thoughts. He was still panting, unable to fully catch his breath. His mother must have taken classes on how to hit a child. She always clocked him right around the eye so it would swell. He touched the growing bruise gingerly and winced.

If Sirius didn’t know better he’d think his mother was mad. When she was like this he was downright afraid of her. What if she had let him fall? His mother had done some strange things to him in the past, used hexes and curses that he felt were too harsh, but what child liked punishment of any kind? His mother had hurt him before, of course. She had hit him or smacked his bottom for talking back or being the naughty kid he sometimes was, but every parent clobbered their kids, didn’t they? But to let him fall three floors, would she have done it?

Sirius hiccupped again, scratched his chin, leaned back and stretched out across his bed, hands behind his head. Sirius wanted to be a good son. He wanted to be loved and make his parents proud of him. But sometimes he didn't know how. One moment his mother could be very loving and attentive, but the next she would become wild and unpredictable and actually quite frightening…like just now.

Sure, he probably shouldn't have dangled Regulus over the stairs, but then again the little prat had asked for it. His mother never seemed to listen to reason. Regulus was her baby and therefore her favorite. Sirius hated him sometimes for that. Who cares if he was born later? That didn’t make any difference, Sirius was still the heir.

Not sure how long he was confined to his room, he closed his eyes and willed himself to stop thinking. He wasn’t sure when he drifted off to sleep.


*~*~*

When Sirius woke, the sun was just setting and the sky was blazing orange. He knew his father would be home soon. He stood, stretched and yawned, then walked over to his wardrobe. He decided to finish his packing. He began rummaging through what he would bring along and what would stay behind. The house elves had already packed his necessities; jumpers, trousers, pants, and socks, but Sirius wanted to make sure he brought everything he might need with him. He walked over to his trunk and opened it.

The it was still missing. He knew he put it in the trunk.

Hands on his hips, his eyes scanned the room in search of it.

"Where the bloody hell would I have put it?" he asked himself, scratching his head.

He heard his door click open. He knew it was Regulus, the little idiot never knocked. Regulus slipped inside, one hand behind his back.

Sirius scowled at him, "What do you want?"

Even Sirius had to admit Regulus looked quite pitiful. The boy could put on one of the best innocent faces. Of course Regulus still had his round, baby cheeks and those helped quite a lot.

Regulus looked up at his brother; sad grey eyes, furrowed brows, and a pouty lip with the tiniest dimple forming on his chin.

Sirius changed his tone to concern, "What's wrong with you?"

Regulus looked down at his shoes for a moment then up into his brother's eyes. He pulled from behind his back a beautiful, hinged wooden box. The it that Sirius had been looking for.

"You stupid prat!” Sirius yelled as he grabbed the box from his brother. “You had it all along!"

"I'm sorry," Regulus pouted.

Sirius sighed, exasperated, and slumped onto his bed.

"You know it's special to me, Regulus. Why would you take it and hide it like that?" Sirius asked sadly.

Regulus looked as though he may cry. "I thought...I thought that maybe if you couldn't find it, that..." He looked away, "That maybe you wouldn't leave. Maybe you wouldn't want to go to school."

Sirius stared at the box in his hand. He traced his finger over the spiral carvings. So Regulus was going to miss him. Sirius had never really thought of the kid, home alone at Number 12 when he himself went away to school. He was so excited, although a bit nervous, about Hogwarts that he never really thought about how Regulus would feel when he left. He looked up at his brother through his long fringe.

"Regulus, you know I'm going to school no matter what. You're an idiot if you think that taking this would stop me."

Regulus walked over and sat next to his brother on the bed.

"I know, but I thought I’d try," he sighed.

They sat quiet for a moment then Sirius nudged his brother in the ribs with his elbow, a silent sign of forgiveness.

"Don't," Regulus complained.

"Stop pouting," Sirius smiled.

"No.” Regulus started up in a whiney voice, “I don't want you to go. What am I supposed to do here without you around? There will be no one to play with and nothing to do and…and I hate those bloody elf heads. You know I hate walking past them by myself! I’ll be all alone and…"

"It won't be that bad!" Sirius interrupted.

"Yes it will! What about Kreacher? Or, or the creepy noises that come from the study at night? What will I do?"

“You’re going to have to grow up!” Sirius answered.

“I’m only eight!”

“And mother’s little baby!” Sirius argued.

“Don’t call me that!” Regulus replied.

“Then stop acting like it!”

Regulus huffed then both boys sat quietly on the bed in thought.

"Look," Sirius placed the box behind him on the bed and turned towards his brother, "I'll write you every week. And...and I'll tell you all about the things I learn and then...well, when you start then you'll be that much ahead in all your classes. You’ll be the cleverest in your year."

Regulus huffed again.

“When I come home for holiday I’ll teach you how to fly,” Sirius suggested.

“I already know how to fly,” Regulus answered as indignantly as an eight year old could muster.

“Regulus, floating so your feet are centimeters above the ground in your bedroom does not count as flying.”

“Uncle Phineus’s portrait said I was a natural!” Regulus argued.

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Uncle Phineus is a sarcastic berk.”

At Regulus’s confused face, Sirius continued, “Fine, you're a natural flyer. But there will be loads more I can show you." When Regulus’s snarky mood still didn't subside, Sirius added, "I promise."

Regulus eyed him warily, "You swear?"

Sirius nodded and placed his right hand over his heart, "I swear on Great Aunt Maliflua’s giant bum."

At this the hint of a smile flitted across Regulus's face.

"Now get out so I can finish packing," Sirius added with a shove at his brother. Regulus shoved back and soon they were all arms and legs wrestling on the floor. Sirius tickled and poked at Regulus and pulled at his trousers and his brother giggled trying to force them back up. He struggled and fought his way out of Sirius's reach, pulled up his pants, and ran to the door. He turned when he got there.

"You promise?"

"I promise!” Sirius laughed, “Now, get out!"

Sirius crawled his way on the floor over to his bed and rested against it, tucked his feet underneath him and pulled the carved box down onto his lap. He flicked the clasp and opened the box so it laid out flat in front of him, revealing a chessboard. He pressed in two tiny tabs on either side of the box and two small drawers slid open. Inside laid the exquisitely detailed black and white carved pieces.

He pulled back the red velvet the set rested in and removed a small piece of parchment, unfolded it and read it once again:

Sirius,
Happy Birthday! I received this chess set on my eleventh and I wanted you to have something special for yours. I didn’t really want to part with it but this was the only thing I could think that you’d truly enjoy. This is the set we played on last summer when you finally beat me. Hope you have a good day and Regulus gives you some peace.
Your favorite cousin,
Andromeda

He smiled as he folded the letter and tucked it back in the velvet casing. He closed the box and returned it to his school trunk and under his cashmere jumpers for safekeeping.

Sirius rummaged through his things and found another box, this one long and slender. He smiled as he held it in his hands. He removed the lid and unfolded each side of the tissue paper inside. He bit his lip and removed his wand; black mahogany, pliable, fourteen and a half inches long with dragon heartstring core. He held it in his hand, careful not to point it directly at anything.

The day before was spent in Diagon Alley, collecting all of Sirius’s school things. It was only his mother, his brother, and himself as his father was working. It was an unusually fun day, his mother had doted upon him entirely and Sirius lapped up the attention like an eager puppy, enjoying Regulus’s envy even more.

First they stopped at Madam Malkin’s and bought Sirius’s school robes, which was quite a boring task, but before long that was done and out of the way. Then they moved onto the Apothecary where his mother picked up numerous ingredients for herself along with the few items listed on Sirius’s Hogwarts letter. Then onto Eeylops Owl Emporium where Sirius picked out a dark, Short-eared owl he named Raven for her uncharacteristically dark color with jewel bright yellow eyes. He picked her particularly because she nipped at Regulus when he tried to pet her. The owl hooted and sat on his shoulder until the man running the shop put her in a new, golden cage. On their way to collect his books at Flourish and Blotts, both Sirius and Regulus had to pause and press their noses in the window of Quality Quidditch Supplies to get a glimpse at the latest and greatest racing broomstick.

“I want one of those,” Regulus pointed.

“Mother,” Sirius looked back over his shoulder, “may I have a broomstick?”

His mother smiled, “Sirius, Hogwarts does not allow first years to bring broomsticks with them.” At this Sirius turned back and looked longingly at the broom in the window. A moment later he felt his mother’s hand on his shoulder, “Of course, you are a Black, and certain rules don’t apply to the Black family.”

Sirius’s smile engulfed his face as he left the shop carrying his new Silver Arrow Racing broom.

“But you don’t even like Quidditch that much!” Regulus moaned.

Sirius shrugged, “Maybe I’ll start.”

“It’s not fair!” Regulus pouted.

They stopped by Florian Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor to cheer up Regulus; Sirius himself ate a triple dip cone, chocolate chunk, snazzle strawberry, and chewy cherry chip. He had worked up quite a hunger with all the shopping they had done.

By the end of the day they were all loaded down with packages. His mother had bought him a solid gold cauldron, even though the list called for pewter, an expensive set of scales for weighing potion ingredients, a brass telescope and many other items. The last and longest stop of the day was in Olivander’s Wand Shop.

The hours spent with Mr. Olivander proved to be long and tedious. The shopkeeper sorted through at least forty wands before settling on this one, and the shop was almost completely destroyed by the time Sirius held this wand in his hand.

The shopkeeper had simply hummed and said thoughtfully, “Very peculiar.”

Back in his bedroom, Sirius rolled his wrist and flicked the wand at the wall. The wallpaper rippled from a point in a circle like he’d plopped a stone in a deep puddle of water. The ripple continued on all four walls around the room. Sirius twisted, mouth gaping open, as he watched it dissipate on the opposite wall. He smiled and looked back down at his wand. He was powerful, his parents had said, and something inside him exploded. He was going to be a great wizard, he just knew it.

There was a knock at his door. Sirius hastily wrapped his wand back up and put it back in his trunk. He opened his door to find Kreacher.

“Master is home now,” the elf mumbled. “He is wanting to see his nasty little brat who tried to kill the smaller nasty little brat.”

“Where is he?” Sirius asked.

“Master is in his study,” Kreacher answered and walked away mumbling. “Oh how Kreacher hopes Master clobbers the brat. Kreacher wishes he could but, no, Kreacher mustn’t harm the sprogs until…”

~*~*~

“Father?” Sirius entered the study, “Kreacher said you wanted to see me.”

His father sat behind his desk, elbows on the arms of the chair, his hands folded in his lap. He was obviously waiting for Sirius. His mother sat in a chair in the corner working on her needlepoint. She did not look up from her work. Sirius swallowed a growing lump in his throat. This couldn’t be good.

Arcturus Black lazily placed his finger to his temple and stared at his son.

“Your mother tells me you had a busy day, Sirius.”

“Sir?”

“She informed me of the little stunt you pulled on the stairs this afternoon.”

Sirius looked over at his mother. She continued working diligently at her needlepoint, not looking up at her son at all.

“She told me that you could have hurt your brother very badly.”

Sirius didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know why he’d done it. Sometimes he just reacted without thinking.

“Sirius,” he glared at his son. “There is one thing you need to know and this is the most important thing I am going to tell you. Your family is, and will always be, the most important factor in your life. Whatever it was that your brother might have done, whatever row you two were having, you must remember that you will never, ever cause any sort of harm to one of your own.”

Arcturus Black stood and walked around his desk towards his son. Sirius felt himself edge backwards. His father was very tall in proportion to his son.

“We’re pure bloods, Sirius. We must maintain and uphold the family line. There are not many of us left. You and your brother are the only two males in the Black family that can carry on the name. I know you don’t think that’s of importance now but when you’re older you will understand. We are the upper crust, the upper class. Nothing must ever happen to you or your brother. You both have a responsibility to this family and its survival. You are the heir and you will act as is becoming a Black.”

His father grabbed him by the collar and looked down into his eyes. Pale grey meeting even paler grey, Sirius tried not to blink.

“You will follow my orders and do as I say. I will not tolerate that sort of behavior from my own son towards his brother. If you ever attempt to hurt him again you will suffer the consequences.”

“Father, I didn’t mean…”

“I will not listen to excuses. You will respect and uphold what has been handed to you.”

“Yes sir.”

Sirius’s father gently placed his hand over his swelling cheek. An odd expression passed over his face, a mixture of anger and sadness. He stared down at Sirius. Sirius was uncomfortable with the closeness and desperation in his father’s eyes.

“Have you learned your lesson?” Hand still on his son’s cheek, Mr. Black tapped the bruise on Sirius’s cheekbone with his finger.

“Yes sir,” Sirius swallowed.

Arcturus Black whispered, “Make me proud, Sirius. Make me proud.”

Sirius’s heart did a flip, he gasped, “I will father. I promise.”

A smile fell across his father’s face and his mood lightened.

“I trust you have your trunk packed?”

Sirius nodded, “Yes sir.”

Arcturus Black nodded in reply, “Very well.” And with that, Sirius was excused.

~*~*~

It was late at night on the last of August as Sirius lay awake in his bedroom at Number 12, his duvet pulled up to the edge of his nose as he shot furtive glances out the darkened window. It looked daunting, heavily framed in dark velvet curtains, with flashes of lightning and booms of thunder cascading out from behind it keeping him from his sleep. Sirius hated thunderstorms.

Thunderstorms at night were worse. They were more frightening than during the day. Shadows at night make a lot of things scarier than during the day; shadows from creatures or dark magical trinkets that lurked in corners at night in the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black; things that couldn’t be trusted.

In the silence between the cracking of thunder he heard a familiar click of his bedroom door. He looked over to find Regulus in his nightshirt, frightened face illuminated by the candle in his hand and clutching a cuddly stuffed dragon in the other. Sirius pulled down the cover as his brother scurried towards the bed. Regulus handed his brother the candle and slid in beside him. Sirius set the candle on the bedside table then blew it out and tucked them both in. Regulus was terrified of storms. Sirius was secretly happy for this. This meant Sirius could be comforted with the feeling of security of his brother’s warmth during the storm. Then no one had to know that Sirius himself was frightened, least of all, his brother.

“Are you frightened?” Regulus whispered, his small body tensing as another loud crack shook the window. They were huddled nose-to-nose, knees to knees in the large poster bed.

“I’m not afraid of anything,” Sirius whispered back.

“Liar,” Regulus’ eyes kept darting from the window back to his brother. “Kreacher told me you’re afraid of Cissy.”

“You know Cissy bites,” Sirius answered indignantly. He held up his hand, two fingers bent at the knuckles, “See? She bit them off.”

Regulus giggled. Sirius loved the sound of his brother laughing and even more so when it was he who inspired the laugh. A lot of the time having a little brother was a right pain in the arse. Like today, when he’d stolen the chess set Andromeda had given him out of his school trunk. But then again, there were adventurous times when it was a laugh to have him around. After all, a captain is nothing without his crew. Regulus was easily manipulated and would try anything Sirius suggested…at least once. Sirius had convinced him to sneak in and steal their mother’s wand once or twice so they could blast Kreacher in the bum. Playing Werewolves and getting muddy in the garden was no fun by oneself. And what fun was playing Vampire when there was no victim to prey upon. Having a brother was alright…especially when it was storming outside.

Sirius yawned and rubbed at his eyes gingerly.

“Does it hurt?” Regulus motioned towards Sirius’s black eye he’d received from their mother.

Sirius winced, “Nah.”

Sirius sighed, closed his eyes and snuggled down deeper into the mattress. He really wanted to get to sleep because tomorrow was a very important day. He wanted to do his father proud. His mother was always insisting on good first impressions and he wanted to do his best. He was just dozing off when he felt a finger poke the tip of his nose.

“What?” Sirius asked. He was starting to get irritated.

Regulus wrapped his arm back around Armand, his dragon, and asked, “I meant about tomorrow, are you frightened about tomorrow?”

Sirius rolled over onto his back and placed his arm gently over his eyes. Yes, he was frightened but he would never tell Regulus that. He would never tell anyone he was afraid. He had been prepped for Hogwarts since the day he was born. His entire family had gone to school there dating back to the Middle Ages, even one of his uncles, Phineus, was once headmaster of the school. In all actuality there should be nothing to be afraid of but Sirius could not convince his brain of that. He was nervous about all the new people. He was nervous about meeting half-breeds and Mudbloods and all the awful filth that the current headmaster allowed in the school. Would they infect him with something? Would they make him unclean? How does one converse with a Mudblood? Sometimes Sirius wondered why his parents allowed him to go to Hogwarts at all, since they disapproved of the filth that attended. But they assured him that he would be sorted into Slytherin house and he would not be among those, the wrong sorts.

But that lead to another problem: he didn’t want to be sorted into Slytherin because that meant he was housed with two of his cousins, which he really, well…hated. Narcissa, besides the obvious flaw of biting, was an absolutely self centered, mean little witch. She would cheat and play nasty and was basically just a downright horrible girl. Narcissa started Hogwarts last year and she wasted no time conveying back to Sirius all the horrible endeavors he would be forced to face. And then there was Bellatrix. Bella was in her fourth year and she made Cissy look like a beacon of hope in a treacherous storm. Perhaps he could be sorted into Ravenclaw. His favorite cousin, Andromeda, now starting her sixth year, had been placed there. Of course the family was, at first appalled at this, but in time they had accepted the fact that Andromeda was just extremely intelligent and therefore Ravenclaw was the best house suited for her. But, although Sirius knew he was clever, he didn’t know if he’d make it into Ravenclaw. This entire house dilemma had lead to the last few nights in sleepless angst.

Sirius felt another finger poke, this time in his ribcage.

“Ow!”

“You’re taking an awful long time to answer,” Regulus yawned. The storm outside was slowing up. The thunder was less frequent and the rain no longer sheets against the window.

“I was sleeping.”

“You’re lying again.”

Sirius elbowed his brother with little malice, “No. I’m not frightened.”

Sirius felt Regulus curl up tighter around his dragon and wiggle down into his pillow. He watched his brother shut his eyes and yawn once again. He couldn’t help but smile when Regulus murmured half asleep.

“I want to be like you when I’m eleven.”


*~*~*~*~*


Sirius was startled awake the next morning with Kreacher leaning over his bed.

Sirius yelped as he scrambled beneath his covers until the elf came into focus.

“Bloody hell, Kreacher, you gave me a start!” Sirius, breathing heavily and shoving the elf’s nose out of his face, accidentally knocked Regulus in the head with his elbow. His brother was still clutching his dragon as he stretched and yawned.

“Young masters is to dress for breakfast,” Kreacher grumbled in a low voice, setting a washbasin and cloth on the bedside table. “Master and Mistress do not wish to be late for the train.”

Sirius sat up and scowled at the house elf. The damn creature was always lurking around and scaring the shit out of both brothers. Sirius couldn’t wait for the day it was beheaded and mounted on the hall wall. Oh, happy day.

“Kreacher, while I’m away at school you will be nice to Regulus and do what he says. That’s an order.”

“Young master thinks he can order Kreacher around,” the elf mumbled somewhat inaudibly. “Happy the bloody brat is leaving today. Kreacher should tell Mistress that her spoiled brats sleep together with childish trinkets. Doesn’t deserve to be her son…”

“Shut up, you miserable old duffer!”

Sirius grabbed said trinket from his brother and lobbed the dragon so it bounced off the back of the elf’s head. Kreacher squeaked and scurried out the door.

Regulus padded sleepily across the floor and picked up his dragon, “Armand never did anything to you. You mustn’t be so mean to him.”

Regulus was answered with a pillow thrown at his face from across the room.

Sirius had never yet been accused of being a morning person. He stretched, yawned loudly and started getting prepared for breakfast.


*~*~*~*~*


“Regulus, don’t cry. You know father won’t approve,” Sirius whispered holding his brother’s shoulders squarely as they stood on Platform 9 3/4. He glanced over at their parent’s, Mr. and Mrs. Black were busy speaking with a wizard couple and not paying much attention to their sons at the moment.

Regulus wiped at his nose, “I’m not crying.”

Sirius looked down at his brother; Regulus’s eyes were brimming with unshed tears. Sirius didn’t really want to deal with this right now. He was bursting at the seams with excitement of getting on that bloody train and getting to Hogwarts.

“Look, I’ll see you in a couple of months at holiday,” Sirius said.

Regulus nodded and sniffed, now stone faced and determined. Sirius looked down at his trunk. He bent down and quickly unlatched it. Holding the lid open, he fished through his things with one hand, finally pulling out the chess set he received from Andromeda. Standing, he closed the trunk and handed the wooden box to his brother.

“I want you to keep this for me,” Sirius said.

Regulus gaped, mouth open at the chess set then up at his brother, “But it’s your present from An…”

“I know!” Sirius interrupted. He hurried his explanation, “Why would I want to bring it to school, you know? What if someone would take it? I don’t know who my housemates will be. This way it’ll be safe. I want you to keep it for me.”

“Are you sure?” Regulus asked.

“Yes. I’m not giving it to you though, alright?”

“Of course!” Regulus beamed up at him. “I’ll keep it for you.”

“Sirius!” Mrs. Black hissed.

Sirius spun around. Now standing with his parents were his aunt and uncle and all three of his female cousins. Narcissa and Bellatrix were dressed in their Slytherin robes, Andromeda in her Ravenclaw.

“Sirius! Over here, now!” Mr. Black pointed to his cousins.

Clumsily he carried the cage containing Raven and dragged his trunk over and stood in front of his parents for his last minute instructions.

“Do not talk with anyone you don’t know on the train. Wait until you are sorted into your house.”

“Yes Father.”

“You are to stay with your cousins on the train, understand?”

“Yes Mother.”

“Go on.” She placed her hand on his cheek and smiled. Sirius was pleasantly surprised when she bent down and kissed him gently on the forehead. He smiled sweetly back up at her. She looked back up at the black and red train blowing its smoke and shooed him, “Go on! You’ll be late.”

He smiled widely at his mother’s good-natured shooing, gave one last wave to his brother and father and followed after his cousins.

Andromeda waited for him and smiled.

“I’ll see you once we arrive. I have to go sit up front with the other prefects.” she said. He pulled away yet smiled as she ruffled his hair and set off ahead.

Once out of earshot of their parents, Bellatrix hissed, “C’mon little bitty baby cousin!”

“I’m coming!” Sirius huffed back at her, following behind them, hands full and dragging his trunk.

“I’m coming!” Bellatrix mimicked in a baby voice, then added, “Stupid little berk. Just wait until he’s in Slytherin with us. We’ll show him.” She looked over at her sister Narcissa and the two girls gave identical evil grins.

Sirius sighed trudging up behind the girls and thought this is going to be a long, difficult ride.

Chapter Four

September 1, 1971


Sirius pushed his dripping hair back off his forehead, reached down and wrung out the sopping sleeve of his robe. He squelched his toes in his soaked shoes and cursed under his breath. Looking down at his drenched body and the puddle of water growing at his feet, exasperation welled up inside him, threatening to burst out in an unpleasant manner.

“Blasted day,” Sirius muttered under his breath.

It started out with the long, tiring, and uninspiring ride on the Hogwarts Express trapped in a stifling compartment with Bella and Cissy and their friends, also known as the most annoyingly humorless and priggish girls Sirius has ever had the displeasure to meet.

He was literally confined to the tiny compartment, forced to ‘stay put or be hexed into oblivion’ and listen to them talk rubbish about shoes and other girl nonsense because bloody Bella, on orders from Sirius’s parents, did not let him out of her bloody sight the entire bloody journey from bloody London to Hogwarts.

And now he stood in his pathetic little puddle waiting outside the Great Hall of Hogwarts having been personally ushered in by that giant, and left to stand in the interim with the other first years.

Sirius cast a quick glance at the equally drenched boy next to him. What a stupid prat. Sirius glowered at him and the boy glared back. The stupid, bloody giant had dragged the both of them in together by their collars and made them stand next to each other at the front of the crowd. Stupid, bloody giant.

Between his frustrations of being nearly imprisoned for hours on the train with his two blasted cousins, becoming unexpectedly sodden from head to toe, along with the maddening building anticipation welling up inside him that this was his first bloody day of school, Sirius had to let the tension out somehow. He turned to the disheveled and dripping boy beside him.

“Four-eyed idiot,” Sirius muttered.

“Arrogant wanker,” the boy, Potter, grumbled back, never missing a beat.

Sirius stomped cruelly on Potter’s wet foot. Potter yelped in surprise then kicked Sirius in the shin. Sirius grunted in pain and cocked his fist back ready to punch when the large door in front of them creaked open and a tall, black-haired witch in emerald green robes emerged. Her lips pursed together in a stern line as she raised one thin eyebrow at him. Studying her warily, Sirius slowly unclenched his fist and put his hand back down at his side, the witch’s mulish face reminded him of his mother, or of someone he would rather not cross with the abysmally dreadful path his day was currently taking.

The two boys had shared the last of the small boats that carried the first years across the immense lake over to the Hogwart’s castle. Sirius wasn’t really sure how the scuffle started but it ended with the tiny, self-propelled boat tipping both occupants into the opaque and frigid lake. The giant had pulled them both up with one of his massive hands and escorted them personally to the front of the line.

“Here’re yer firs’ years, Professor McGonagall,” said the giant.

“Thank you, Hagrid.”

“These two had a little mishap, Professor,” Hagrid chuckled as he nudged Potter and Sirius forward.

“I will take them from here,” she nodded.

This had to be it. Sirius didn’t think he could wait any longer, drenched or not. The Professor started into a long-winded dialogue about Houses, rules, and the Sorting. She just kept droning on. Sirius felt he should probably be listening but he just couldn’t. He couldn’t concentrate on anything other than getting to the Sorting. He rubbed at his wet nose with the back of his wet hand and sniffed. The Potter boy glared at him and Sirius returned it in full.

He could hear the muffled sounds of hundreds of voices on the other side of the doors. He felt like the top of his head was going to blow right off because his mind wouldn’t stop racing and if he didn’t stop gnawing on his thumbnail he’d wear it off before he got through the doors. If Professor McGoogle, or whatever her name was, didn’t stop blabbing on about points and open the bloody doors so he could get this over with he couldn’t be held responsible for what might happen…and the Potter kid was still glowering next to him just asking for it.

“Follow me, please,” Professor McGonagall said.

Finally.

Sirius took a step forward and Potter took two, so Sirius took another and the two boys were scuffling shoulder to shoulder elbowing and shoving for a position at the front of the line. The bundle of students bumped and knocked into one another filing down towards the front of the room.

They were barely inside the giant room when Sirius noticed the room itself. He felt his mouth drop open. This castle was amazing to say the least but Sirius wouldn’t dare let on how impressed he was. He quickly clamped his jaw shut and faced directly forward with one final push at Potter. They were walking up the aisle in between four long tables. There were candles floating overhead and the ceiling was charmed to look like the night sky.

Not as cool as Uncle Cygnus’s house though.

They were headed towards the front table where it looked like all the teachers and faculty sat. In front of that table was a three legged stool with a dirty, old hat perched on top. Sirius wondered what the hat was for.

They had made their way nearly to the front when Sirius heard a distinct whistle coming from the middle of the hall. It was Andromeda.

“Go on, Sirius, make us proud!” she yelled.

Then a roar of laughter filled the same vicinity. Sirius chanced a quick look over at his favorite cousin, grinned wickedly, and then forced his features into a look of suave coolness to hide his blush. As he turned back from Andromeda, the Potter boy was glaring at him. Sirius pulled a face at him then focused his attention on the stool up front.

Once to the front, the other first years shuffling around him, Professor McGoggles cleared her throat. The room went silent.

She held out a long piece of parchment and began.

“When I call your name, you will sit on the stool and put the hat on your head to be Sorted.”

“That’s it?” Sirius unconsciously said aloud.

Another boy, to his right nudged him in the arm. “It’s a simple Sorting, the hat. What did you think we had to do?”

Sirius shrugged the boy off and did not answer. He was going to kill Bellatrix as soon as he had a chance. She had told him he would be asked to wrestle a troll armed only with his wand. Sirius knew how big a troll could get because of the large umbrella stand, made from a troll’s leg, his parents kept in the front foyer of Grimmauld Place. He’d been reading all he could about hexes ever since.

“Askins, Abigail!”

“Gryffindor!”

“Bennet, Patricia!”

“Ravenclaw!”

“Black, Sirius,” the Professor called.

Sirius felt his stomach drop to the floor. This was it. This was the moment he had been waiting for…although he thought it would be much more physically demanding than sitting on a stool with a loopy hat on his head.

Don’t let them know you’re nervous.

Sirius lifted his chin and strutted forward with all the grace of eleven years of aristocratic breeding, ignoring the squelching noise his soaked shoes made in the process. He stopped in front of the stool, nodded curtly to the Professor and hopped gracefully onto it.

He felt a wave rush over him and noticed McGoogles had done a quick-drying spell before she placed the hat on his head.

“Ta,” he said with his most charming smile.

One side of his lip curled into an arrogant smirk as he looked into the crowd over at Andromeda then slowly turned his eyes to focus on his other cousins sitting a table away. Bella and Narcissa were eying him closely, Bella matching his smirk, Cissy looking rather nervous; he fixed them with a challenging smile.

Sirius was nervous himself but he willed himself not to let on. His heart felt as though it was about to burst out of his chest but he would not let these people get the better of him. He was a Black, most noble indeed, and he was now ready for whatever this silly hat could bring on.

“Another Black I see…” the hat paused.

Yes. What of it?

“The moment I touched your head I could tell who you are. What you are.”

What I am? I’m a Black. Anyway, I’m a who, not a what. What right do you have to call me a what? You’re just a nasty old hat. If anyone’s a what, it’s you.

“I should put you right in Slytherin. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”

Actually, not really now that you mention it.

“Not Slytherin you say? But that is the house of your fathers. Do you not see yourself on the way to greatness? Slytherin will help you get there.”

Of course I see greatness in my future, I’m a Black. But I don’t know if I want Slytherin or any of its smarmy occupants to help me along the way. I don’t like them you see.

“You’re difficult, very difficult. I see a quick mind and an abundance of talent…recklessness though, definitely. My goodness, yes �“ yes, that’s interesting, you’re very powerful. Pureblood, of course, but I can tell from the touch. The magic is within you, radiating all around.”

Of course, I’m a Black.

“But Blacks belong in Slytherin…”

Sirius shot a quick look at Andromeda.

Not all Blacks.

“But of course.”

I want to stand out. I want to be different. I want to make my father proud.

“Ah…bravery. You’ve got it in folds.”

Sirius set his jaw and tilted his head up in pride.

Yes, I do. I’m very smart too. So go ahead and put me in Ravencl…”

“In that case…GRYFFINDOR!”

No amount of pureblood breeding, pride, or arrogance could hide his shock. Sirius sat on the stool completely dumbfounded.

Gryffindor?

“Well go on, lad, you heard me!” the hat added.

Sirius slid down off the stool coming to his senses. He suddenly noticed how quiet the great room had become. His eyes roamed the crowd and found all eyes staring back at him. They knew who he was. They knew what family he belonged to. A Black in Gryffindor? He could almost read their minds.

Then he found Andromeda, her mouth hidden behind her hands, her eyes wide with apparent shock. She brought her hands down and slowly the corners of her mouth lifted into a grin. She nodded at him in encouragement and he blew out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. He reached up and removed the hat, handing it to an apparently stunned Professor McGoogles. He sniffed, set his jaw and walked proudly over to the Gryffindor table.

When he sat down at the designated table, a few of the Gryffindors moved away from him.

Bloody Gryffindors.

*~*~*~*

Sirius heard the smaller, pudgy boy whisper to Potter, “You’ve met Black before?”

“No, but I’ve heard of his family, they’re all dark wizards,” Potter whispered. He pulled a face and added, “We could actually be distantly related.”

“You’re joking!” the smaller boy gasped

“He’s a pure blood, so am I,” Potter shrugged. “But I don’t buy into that pure blood naff like his family does. The whole lot of my family has been in Gryffindor. Dunno what I would have done being sorted somewhere else.”

The two boys snickered, apparently aware Sirius was behind them.

Sirius followed the boys, although not closely, into their circular dormitory and selected a bed. He climbed over it and busied himself with the pretense that the contents of his trunk were the most interesting objects in the world. It had been a long day and he really didn’t know how he was going to fit in with these boys.

Gryffindor? Honestly, what was that nasty hat thinking?

He felt a pang of homesickness and thought of Regulus. He wondered what he was doing now. Sirius hated to admit it but he missed him. He felt sick to his stomach suddenly as a guilty sadness overwhelmed him. If Regulus was here with him, together they’d take on these other boys. No one messed with the Black brothers.

The other boys were talking excitedly; well two of them were, the third was a bit more reserved. They seemed content with ignoring Sirius and he was glad for it. Being housed with Potter was one thing but now knowing they’d be sharing a dorm… It was best for Sirius to act as though he didn’t give a monkey either, for now, because he still had an underlying urge to cold-cock the great git.

“So what’s your name again?” Potter asked the quiet boy.

“Remus,” the boy answered softly.

“Remus what?”

“Remus Lupin,” the boy added. Sirius was listening but trying his best to look as though he wasn’t. He continued to unpack his trunk.

“I don’t know any Lupins,” Potter said.

Sirius rolled his eyes. Who was this Potter, and authority on surnames?

“My father was in Ravenclaw,” Remus added.

“What about your mum?” the blond boy asked. He was lying on his bed removing sweets from his trunk.

“She never went here, she’s a Muggle.”

“You’re a Mudblood?” Sirius blurted without thinking.

Sirius went from being completely ignored to the center of attention. All three boys turned their heads towards him.

Potter glanced back at Remus then said arrogantly to Sirius, “Nobody calls them Mudbloods, Black.”

Sirius eyed Potter, they were nearly the same height, same build.

Bugger it, I can take him.

Sirius took a step forward.

“I just did, Potter. What you going to do about it?”

Potter walked around his own bed and stood squarely in front of Sirius, casually cocking his fist back at the ready. Sirius lifted his chin, accepting the challenge.

“Knock you back to Slytherin, where you belong.”

“Better there than here with you bloody thick Gryffindors.”

“Say that again, Black, so I can clobber you. Nobody talks bad about Gryffindor House while I’m here.”

“What’s got your wand in a knot?” Sirius glared at the messy haired boy.

“You!” Potter answered, “Lets get one thing straight off; I don’t like you.”

“Well that’s ace, Potter, because I don’t like you,” Sirius said.

There was an awkward silence as the two glared at one another.

Finally, Potter said, “You don’t belong here.”

“Think I don’t know that?” Sirius said, his nostrils flaring, giving his most haughty stare.

“I know who you are,” Potter said.

“Yeah? Blow it out or your arse, because you don’t know shit!” Sirius said. He lunged at Potter to make him flinch.

Potter sneered back at him, “You said it yourself, you don’t belong here, you belong in Slytherin!”

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t? Who are you to say?”

“Because that’s where you belong. I’ll bet your lot sit around all day plotting ways to get rid of Muggle borns. No Gryffindors do that!”

“What do you mean by my lot?”

“Dark wizards…all of your family. I know what you are. We’ve got classes here regarding the Dark Arts, don’t you know? It teaches us ways to defend ourselves against your kind.”

Sirius was quickly disliking this Potter kid more and more every time he opened his fat mouth. That was the second time tonight someone, or something, called him a ‘what’.

“Hang on a tick, if you can hate me because of my family then why can’t I hate him because he’s a Mudblood?” He waved a hand lazily in Remus’s direction.

“Because your family are evil, foul wizards. Instead of Slytherin why don’t you leave all together? You should go to Durmstrang.”

Evil, foul creatures.

“I’m not evil and I’m certainly not foul you git!” Sirius shouted.

“C’mon, I dare you to say something so I can give you a matching shiner on the other eye.”

“Hang on Mr. Fisticuffs, why don’t you just bugger off? You don’t know anything about me!”

“Just stop alright?” It was the boy, Remus, and he had crossed the room and stood between James and Sirius. Remus touched Sirius’s shoulder and instinct made Sirius shudder and pull away. Remus stepped back just a bit seeing he had crossed some invisible boundary.

“James, it’s alright,” Remus reassured.

Grudgingly, James walked back around to his own bed, keeping an eye on Sirius, for good measure, as he did so.

“What happened to your eye then?” the blond boy, Peter he thought it was, asked Sirius.

He looked at all three of them, staring at him, waiting for him to answer and he just didn’t know if he wanted or trusted them enough to even tell them a lie about it. With one last look at all of them he pulled his bed curtains shut and mumbled:

“Nothing.”


*~*~*~


The next morning in the castle Sirius woke late to find all his school robes missing and the other three boys already gone. Cursing Potter (whom he deduced was responsible), Sirius dressed in all but his robes, grabbed his books and schedule, scanned it quickly for his first class and its location, and then rushed down the staircase, through the portrait hole, and raced down the hall towards Transfiguration.

He cursed Potter once again; Sirius had been looking forward to Transfiguration the most, and although it was not technically Potter’s fault he was late, Sirius didn’t mind placing the blame on him.

Sirius burst into the classroom; tie askew, hair wild, and missing his robe. After an initial reaction of shock, snickers began to trickle through the room from the students.

He scanned the room; found his dorm mates all looking down at their books, completely ignoring his disturbing entrance.

“Mr. Black,” Professor McG said, “you’re late!”

Sirius looked up at her. “Sorry, Professor.”

“And you’re missing some clothes,” she added.

Sirius heard some girls behind him giggling.

“I seem to have misplaced them, Professor,” Sirius answered.

“Misplaced them? I should hope you find them, Mr. Black, and before tomorrow.”

“Yes, Professor.”

“Very well. Now sit down and stop disrupting my class.”

“Yes, Professor.”

Sirius slouched in a seat at the rear of the classroom, dropped his satchel at his feet and glared over at his dorm mates. Potter was smirking back at him and all Sirius wanted to do right now was walk over and punch him square in the face. Peter didn’t seem to want to look at him. Sirius had a notion that the fat lump was afraid of him (being a ‘Dark Wizard’ and all that naff). Peter glanced up, Sirius caught his eye and sneered at him, Peter flinched and focused back down at his paper. Sirius grinned. He was taking pride in the ability to make the boy whimper. Remus was looking over at him but Sirius couldn’t quite read his expression; was it apologetic?

It didn’t matter. Sirius focused his attention on the professor as she walked the class through their first bit of magic to test their levels. Sirius redeemed himself to the professor by transfiguring a length of string into a perfect, shiny sewing needle on his first try. This infuriated Potter, making it all the sweeter.

The fact that he’d earned five points for bloody Gryffindor for his achievement both pleased and irritated him.


~*~*~*~


The morning classes passed by in flurried commotion. Before Sirius had time to even think about being hungry, it was time for lunch.

He entered the Great Hall and sat at the end of the Gryffindor table near the other first years. Having missed breakfast, the grumbles from his stomach were not something he could ignore any longer.

“Oi, Black, where are your robes?” Potter called down.

Sirius looked up from his chicken leg and glared down the table at his three housemates. The fat boy, Peter, was rosy cheeked from laughing and sneaked a peek at Sirius from time to time. The other boy, Remus, was lazily moving his food around his plate with his fork, curiously uninterested in Potter’s taunting.

“I would think you would know, Potter,” Sirius answered coolly.

The expression on James’s face was of mock surprise, “How would I know what you did with your clothes? I’m not your house elf,” Potter said, and he and Peter snickered.

Sirius had had enough. He hadn’t done anything to these boys and he didn’t understand why they disliked him so. He was a Black, he should be respected. What were Potter and the other boys playing at? Why did Potter feel the need to be such a wanker?

He pushed his plate away and stood. He saw Potter stand as well.

“Maybe you two should just sit down?” Peter squeaked.

“Maybe you should shut your fat face,” Sirius said to Peter, withdrawing his wand and walking around the table towards Potter. When Sirius had got around to him, the other boy had his wand raised as well.

“What are you going to do with that?” Sirius laughed.

“Hex you beyond recognition,” Potter said.

Sirius laughed again but was saved answering by Raven, his owl, who he spotted behind Potter’s head, swooping into the hall from high up in the rafters. Potter turned to see what Sirius was looking at. As the bird flew closer, Sirius noticed in her claws a bright red envelope sealed with black wax and the Black family crest. A letter from home…or more specifically, a Howler.

Raven landed on Sirius’s shoulder, lifted one leg and dropped the letter into his reluctantly opened hand. He stared down at the letter. This couldn’t be good. He’d received Howlers from his mother before when he’d misbehaved at his cousins over the summer holidays. He looked up and saw Potter staring down at the letter in his hand.

Raven nipped Sirius’s ear.

“Bugger!” Sirius spat and reached down to Peter’s plate and stole a bit of bread for her.

“Oi, I was eating that,” Peter objected.

“You’d better open it quickly!” someone shouted.

Taking his eyes off the Howler for a moment and chancing a look up, he noticed most, if not all of the Great Hall had their eyes on him. He would find out later that all the mail came in the morning at breakfast but since he had missed, Raven wasn’t able to deliver. This mail delivery at dinner was causing a pique of interest from the other students.

Another thing to blame on Potter.

“That’s a Howler!” someone else yelled.

“Do it quick or it’ll be worse!” another voice called.

Sirius swallowed down the growing lump in his throat. He didn’t dare look down at Potter and his mates, but he knew they, like most of the rest of the student body were all looking at him…waiting. The room was distinctly quiet, even the teachers were looking down at him from their high table. Sirius rarely blushed but he could feel his ears burning like fire.

He reached down with his other shaky hand and slowly slid his finger under the seal to free the Howler.

The letter shot up and conked Sirius repeatedly on the forehead before ripping open violently and screaming in the most hideous voice, his mother’s.

Raven flew off his shoulder frightened at the first sound.

“Sirius Mirzam Black! How could you disgrace us so?” The letter slapped him aside of the head again. He brought his arms up to protect his face.

“Gryffindor?” the letter continued shrilly, “No son of mine will be housed with mudbloods, blood traitors, and filth! You will go directly to the Headmaster and demand that you be resorted! I will not tolerate this! I will not stand for it! Your father and I are disappointed in you. Your first day and this is what you do? How could you let this happen? How could you disgrace the house of my fathers? You’ll never amount to anything worthwhile in Gryffindor!”

Sirius stared dumbfounded up at the letter. He glanced around to notice the students in close proximity cupping their ears from the sound of his mother’s howling.

“You are to fix this immediately! I cannot tell you how much you have embarrassed us!”

Sirius bowed his head, wanting to hide his face. The Howler silenced for a moment then, with a stern command, “Look up at me!” the letter changed its tone. And with a sigh, his mother’s voice became quiet, sad, disappointed.

“I can only hope this can be resolved quickly. Honestly, Sirius, we expected more of you. You have been brought up better than this.”

He could almost feel his mother’s hand on his cheek. He could almost feel the disgust in her voice.

“I’m ashamed of bearing a son so defiant…ashamed to be your mother. I thought we taught you better than this. Slytherin is your home and where you belong. I trust you will fix this immediately.”

And with that the Howler burst into flames, scattering into ashes, until it was nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing but the feeling of complete belittlement and total humiliation.

Sirius looked up at all the faces staring back at him. He lifted his chin, set his shoulders back and stared straight back at the other students. Pride remarkably intact, he slowly began walking the once short distance to the doors of the Great Hall. He wasn’t sure where he was headed but he wanted nothing more than to get out of the horrid spotlight.

“Aww, baby cousin! Poor baby cousin,” Bella taunted across the silenced hall. “Serves you right! Slytherin is your home and the sooner you realize that the better off you’ll be!”

“Bella, shut up!” Andromeda yelled.

Sirius grabbed the handle of the great wooden doors, as dignified as possible. Once outside in the hall, Sirius let out a deep breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in and leaned against the cold, stone wall, head tilted back. He looked up at the ceiling.

Dissapointed. Ashamed. Never amount to anything.

In only one day at Hogwarts he had already broken one promise made the day before. Sirius turned so he was facing the wall and placed his forehead against the stone. The coolness felt refreshing to his pounding, spinning head. He softly knocked his head against the wall.

There was only one thing to do. He would go to the Headmaster after classes. He had to make this right. He had a responsibility to fix this. It was his duty. He couldn’t and wouldn’t disappoint his father. His father’s words from yesterday rang in his ears.

“Your family is, and will always be, the most important factor in your life. You have a responsibility to this family and its survival. You are the heir and you will act as is becoming a Black.”

Sirius kicked violently at the wall and swore.

Yes, there was only one thing to do.


*~*~*


Behind him he could hear Potter prattling on to the other two boys.

“The Wimborne Wasps are complete rubbish! Chudley is the only team worth rooting for. I’ve been a fan for ages.”

“They’re my favorite team too!” Peter added.

Sirius rolled his eyes. Potter must think he’s an expert on Quidditch too.

They were all on their way down to the dungeons for their first Potions class. The halls were dark and damp, and with no windows this far below the ground the only light that shown was from an occasional metal sconce. The corridor smelt musty and dank.

Sirius was trailing behind the other first years bringing up the last of his class. Only Potter, Peter, and Remus were behind him. He was deep in thought and was caught completely off guard with what happened next.

He more or less felt the hex before he heard it spoken. His back slammed into the cold wall and his head cracked back against a rather stubborn, protruding stone.

“Ow,” he gasped at the pain.

It must have been a Binding curse crossed with a Body Lock. That could only mean one thing; or one person rather.

Bellatrix.

She swayed out from the shadows with her two friends flanking her sides. She walked up to face Sirius who was plastered against the wall.

“I knew I could smell something rancid and look who shows up,” Sirius jeered.

“Aw, cousin,” Bellatrix cooed, “I’d watch your tongue if I were you.”

“What do you want?” Sirius asked. “You don’t have to hex me to get my attention, you know.”

“I’ll hex you if I wish. Anyway, I want to know if you’ve spoken with the headmaster yet.”

“What do you care?” Sirius asked.

“I care, cousin, because you don’t belong with those diseased Mudbloods and blood traitors. You belong in Slytherin with us.”

Sirius shook his head, “Maybe Gryfindors are Mudbloods but I’ll take my chance with catching some horrible disease before being housed with you, Bella”

Bella laughed eerily and it echoed off the walls. She pushed Sirius again so his head knocked a second time against the stone. Sirius gritted his teeth and growled attempting to shove her back but she was bigger and stronger.

“Leave him alone,” a voice called, forceful but wavering.

Sirius looked back to find Potter standing with his wand hand pointed at Bellatrix. He looked like a right berk. He was an arrogant prat for thinking he could take on Bellatrix Black on his own, but it was quite amusing to see him panicky and pushing his glasses up his pointy nose.

Bella laughed again and turned gracefully towards him.

“Silly boy, don’t point that little thing at me until you know how to use it.”

“Bugger off, Potter, I can handle this,” Sirius said as he felt the Binding Hex wear off.

Bellatrix turned back toward him, “Stupid cousin! You know better than to play with me.”

“I can handle anything you dish out, Bella!”

“Oh really? Remember the attic? You cried like a baby!” She giggled as she said this last bit loud enough so Potter and his mates could hear.

“I was six, Bella!” He had had enough of her already. Sirius lunged at her and pushed and she stumbled backwards.

Her face was livid and she shoved him back up against the wall.

“You little bastard! Don’t you dare push me! You’re filthy! Filthy since you’ve been housed with them!”

“I’m not filthy! There’s nothing wrong with me!”

Bella laughed again, shrilly, “You’ll never amount to anything you worthless…”

Sirius kicked her hard as he could in the leg and she screeched in pain. While she was tending to her shin, Sirius pushed her down onto the stone floor.

“That is enough!” another voice, much older, much bolder bellowed.

Sirius and the others turned back to see Professor McGonagall striding towards them, her brows knit together in a frown.

“There is no fighting or dueling allowed in school hallways, as you all well know!”

She surveyed the group, Bella on the floor, her two mates helping her up, Sirius standing over her looking livid, and Potter and the other two standing back watching it all. She fixed her gaze onto Sirius.

“Come with me, Mr. Black.”


*~*~*

Sirius stood in the doorway of Professor McGonagall’s office, hesitant to enter. She arched a pencil thin eyebrow at him and ordered him to have a seat. He sulked and kicked at the leg of the offered chair before sitting.

“I will ask that you please do not take out your aggression on my furniture, Mr. Black.”

“Sorry,” Sirius grumbled.

“Now. ” She sat down behind her desk and smoothed out her robes, then sighed and crossed her hands, palms down on her lap before continuing.

“I realize, Mr. Black, that your first twenty-four hours here at Hogwarts have been more than a little disturbing for you.”

Sirius snorted and rolled his eyes.

“But I cannot and will not,” Professor McGonagall raised her voice a notch, “put up with fighting in the corridors.”

“She asked for it,” Sirius grumbled.

With a simple stern look Sirius fell silent.

“I am telling you, Mr. Black, it will not be tolerated and unless you want to end up in detention on top of everything else that has occurred today, I would keep your mouth shut until I finish. Is that understood?”

Sirius nodded.

“Now.” She paused. “I realize the Sorting last evening has put you in somewhat of a difficult situation. Perhaps your Mother, or parents rather, were assuming you would automatically be Sorted into their house. Is this correct?”

“I guess so,” Sirius answered glumly.

With a raise of her eyebrows at him he added, “Ma’am.”

“Let it be known, Mr. Black, that there are indeed four houses in this great school and each one has its defining characteristics which the Hat looks for in our new students. And, although I don’t say this often�”” she cleared her throat “�”being head of Gryffindor House, Slytherin does have its fair bit of fine qualities. But, let me tell you that being Sorted into Gryffindor is not at all something to be ashamed of.”

“I’m not ashamed, Professor. I just don’t belong there!”

“Why do you say that?”

“No one in my family has ever been in Gryffindor. I thought it would put me in Ravenclaw, but I know I really belong in Slytherin, but…but I didn’t want to be sorted there because I don’t want…” but he couldn’t finish his thought.

“Don’t want what?”

Sirius sighed, “I dunno…”

There were a few moments of silence while Sirius sorted the jumbled thoughts in his head.

“Professor?”

“Yes?”

“Do you suppose I could just try the hat on one more time? Perhaps it made a mistake with me?”

“The sorting hat never makes mistakes.”

“It does! It put me in bloody Gryffindor!”

Professor McGonagall mouth went stern at his outburst.

“Sorry, err…Gryffindor,” he corrected sheepishly.

“First of your family to be Sorted into Gryffindor shows you’re brave, Mr. Black. It shows you’re not afraid to be different.”

“I’m not afraid to be different, I want to be different, but there are…certain things that are expected of me.”

She narrowed her eyes at him.

“Don’t you understand? I’m the heir to the Noble House of Black.”

“That means nothing within these school walls,” Professor McGonagall said softly.

“Does too!” Sirius lifted his chin in indignation. “I’m better than most of these snotty nosed kids here,” he pointed vaguely towards the Professor’s office door. “I’ve been brought up with a future laid ahead of me. I need to be different and stand out among these kids. I promised my father that I’d…” Sirius paused.

“That you’d what?”

“That I’d make him proud,” Sirius finished his thought quietly.

“Will he not be proud of a brave Gryffindor for a son?”

Sirius thought.

“I dunno,” he answered.

“You don’t know?”

Sirius shook his head.

“Perhaps,” Professor McGonagall started picking her words carefully, “for now, Mr. Black, you should not concentrate so heavily on family duty. Right now your responsibility as an eleven year old student is to come to this school to learn to be the best wizard you can. Don’t you think that, in fact, will make your parents proud?”

Sirius pulled a face. “Professor, do you even know my parents?”

Professor McGonagall lips curled into a small smile in spite of herself but forced her face back to neutral grounds.

“I know of them, yes. But one cannot live their life trying to live up to another’s standards.” She leaned forward on her desk and added, “Use your gut, Sirius, use your heart. Let that guide you.”

Sirius left her office with one thought.

Use my heart? What rubbish.


*~*~*~

Sirius lay on his back in his bed, hands behind his head, staring at the canopy of red curtain above him. He was once again listening on and off to his bunk mates talking. It had been a very long and tiring first day, late for his first class, the Howler at lunch, the duel with Bella, and then the chat with McGonagall in her office. Sirius had so much to think about. McGonagall wasn’t such a bad bird after all. She really had some good points to think about but she also didn’t understand what it meant to be a Black. Of course, now Sirius wasn’t sure what it was to be a Black. He thought he knew. But, if being a Black meant being like Bella in order to make his father proud, then he’d have to find a way…

“Sirius, what about you?”

The shock of hearing his first name made him pause his thoughts and look over at the other boys. They were all sitting on James’s bed, which unfortunately was right next to Sirius’s.

“What?”

It was Remus. He gave a shy smile and repeated.

“We were just talking about our first bit of magic. You know, what you were doing when you first found out you were a wizard?”

“What about you, Sirius? What did you do?” Peter asked as if to clarify matters.

Sirius narrowed his eyes at all three of them.

“What do you care?” he asked testily.

Potter looked at Peter and Remus before addressing Sirius.

“Look,” Potter said resolutely, “I realize we’ll never be best mates but the three of us were talking and well…we’re sharing a dorm, right? Well I reckon…well, we reckon we should at least call a truce. What d’you say?”

He held his hand out. Sirius looked at the other two boys and they both gave small, encouraging smiles. Sirius paused, thinking this over. Potter had a point; they would be in close proximity of each other every day for the next year at least; however, he ignored his outstretched hand.

“What about you lot then?” Sirius asked, “What happened with you?”

Peter, sitting in the middle of James and Remus, was the focus. He looked at the three of them and gave an odd smile.

“I dunno, mine was barmy really, I think my mum was making me wear some stupid yellow waistcoat for Easter Holiday one year and I hated it. It just kept shrinking so it wouldn’t fit me around the middle. Mum said it was magic.”

“A yellow waistcoat?” James snickered.

“She’s very proper,” Peter explained, not able to hide his smile.

“What about you, James?” Peter asked.

“Hmm, I was four I think and my da left his broom by the back door. Well I snuck outside with it and flew around the back garden. My da was funny, he thought it was wicked I was flying so young but my mum had kittens because I ended up hitting a tree and knocking myself senseless and busting an arm.”

The two boys laughed and Sirius found himself smiling against his will.

“No big deal, she patched me right up. Da was so proud though. Went right into town and bought me my own broom.”

“Wicked,” Peter added. “You a good flyer then?”

“Da says I am. Wish first years could try out for Quidditch. Shame we can’t. What about you, Remus?”

“I don’t really remember,” he smiled and played with the cuff of his trousers.

“Bollocks,” Sirius said abruptly, and the other three turned to him as if they had forgotten he was there too. “Everyone remembers their first bit of magic.”

“What about you then?” Remus asked. It wasn’t a challenge, just a friendly question.

“Me?”

“Yeah,” Potter added with a small smile, “What did you do, Bla…I mean, Sirius?”

Sirius smiled, thinking back on the memory. He stretched his arms above his head and rolled over onto his side, facing the other boys, head propped up in his palm.

“I had to have been four because my brother was barely two, I think…”

“You have a brother?” Peter interrupted as he rolled over onto his stomach on James’s bed.

“Yeah, right pain in the arse he is.”

The boys laughed and Sirius couldn’t help but smile at their reaction.

“Anyway, he was two, right, and he couldn’t really talk much. He would just point and grunt a lot. Well he would follow me around all the bloody time�”still does actually, and it’s a bit annoying.”

“Wish I had a brother,” James said absently, with the wistful enthusiasm of an Only Child. But when Sirius paused to look at him, James nodded encouragingly to continue his story. “Go on.”

“You can have him,” Sirius said with a wry smile. “So anyway, the little berk was tottling after me so I got mad, right, and I pushed him down and told him off. Well he goes all mental on me and starts wailing, top of his lungs.”

“Was he hurt?” Remus asked.

“Nah, just being todger, so I remember thinking: ‘I wish he would shut his gob. I wish he wasn’t so loud. I wish he would just shut up and leave me alone!’ and well, it took my mum four days to figure out how to get the hex off him.”

“What hex?” James asked.

“I dunno,” Sirius shrugged, “but the little bugger couldn’t talk or even grunt for days. Mum was livid. You heard her in the Howler, she can go quite mental when provoked.”

The other boys nodded in agreement and smiled sympathetically.

“I will never forget that first bit of magic. My arse will never forget it,” Sirius laughed.

“She clobber you?” James asked, intrigued.

“Yeah,” Sirius nodded, “like she never had before. I hurt her precious pumpkin, Regulus.”

“That your brother?” James asked.

“Yeah.”

“You really hate him?” Peter asked.

Sirius shook his head.

“Nah, not really, he’s alright. Pain sometimes but,” Sirius shrugged, “he’s my brother. Blood ‘n’ all that, right?”

“I have a sister. She’s alright. Wish she was a brother though,” Peter added.

Sirius smiled.

“What about you, then? Remus, right?” Sirius asked. “What did you do?”

Remus stood up and walked over to his own bed, “I told you, I don’t really remember.” He busied himself sorting through his side table drawer.

“Not fair, mate, you’ve got to tell us,” James added.

Peter hopped off James bed and back to his own, James stretched out, and Sirius fell back onto his bed but watched Remus out of the corner of his eyes.

“C’mon then,” Sirius prodded.

Remus looked at the three other boys and blushed.

“Alright, but it’s rather girly, honestly. I was five, I think, and my mum was making me eat mushy peas. I hated mushy peas. Still do, by the way. So well, I didn’t want to eat them so I turned them into something and they flew away.”

“What they turn into?” James asked.

Remus’s lips were in a fierce battle as to whether they wanted to grin or frown. He was hesitant to answer, and then said almost apologetically in a very small voice.

“Butterflies.”

The boys fell into a fit. James cackled, Peter giggled madly, and even Sirius smiled hesitantly, still not quite feeling the dorm mate dynamic.

Even Remus was laughing now.

“Remus, mate, you’re a bit of a Nance!” James said, as friendly as possible under the circumstances.

This made Sirius bark in laughter. Soon he was rolling on his back and howling. The laughter that escaped him became stronger and exploded in a fit as a mixture of pent up tension over took him with a fabulous, giddy feeling of release.

Bloody daft Gryffindors.


~*~*~


Truce or not, the boys couldn’t help but try to outdo one another in the coming weeks. One day Sirius found his hair dyed when he borrowed a bottle of shampoo from James, charmed to change the poor unsuspecting wizard’s hair to a putrid vomit color, charm courtesy of James himself.

So the next day, James found himself with black teeth, a similar charm inflicted by Sirius onto James’s toothpaste. James retaliated with a Bat Bogey hex that made them shoot forcefully out of Sirius’s nose at unsuspecting passersby. This prank backfired, however, because Sirius seemed to enjoy this new ability, much to the chagrin of the other students in the halls.

Then James found himself victim to Sirius’s, soon to be famous, Blanket Wrapping hex that nearly strangled the bed’s occupant in his own bed sheets, rendering them late for classes.

The two of them found that, even though they’d “never be best mates”, that if they worked together they could come up with some pretty fantastic ideas to try on other students.

Sirius also started to realize that Gryffindor House wasn’t so bad after all. The boys in his dorm were quite clever too. It wasn’t Ravenclaw, or what he had wanted, but it was growing on him.

Perhaps one of the best things he learned was that James hated Slytherin. He didn’t know why James hated them and although Sirius couldn’t say he hated Slytherin per se, he did in fact hate at least two of its occupants; his cousins, Bellatrix and Narcissa Black. He also came to realize that one of his new favorite pastimes was hexing said cousins.

James Potter and Sirius Black, together they found they were exceptional pranksters.

Best mates? Never.

Friends? Unbeknownst to them, they were…working on it.

~*~*~

Letter from Regulus Black to Sirius Black
September 3, 1971

Sirius,

Mum is really mad. She said if great grandfather were still living he would not let you back in the house. Grandmother thinks you should be punished and I don’t think you want to know what kind of punishments she was talking about. Mum and dad have been fighting a lot. Mum went through three potion bottles just yesterday. She was saying strange things too. It was kind of scary. What is Gryffindor like? It must be really bad.

I got bit by a doxy in the drawing room yesterday. I don’t know how long I was lying on the floor but mum said I was lucky she had the anty-bote I think is what it is called. I was playing with the daggers. I made Kreacher dress up like a pirate with me. I got to be captain though since you are not here to play. He wasn’t pleased and mum thinks that is why he did not tell her I got bit, but she made him slam his nose in the door jam for leaving me lay there for so long. He is listening to me more now, dunno why tho.

Father brought me this green ink back from Latvia to practice my writing. I think it looks cool.

Write me. You promised you would. My new tutor, Ms. Babbcock helped me with this letter. She is pretty and not as hairy as Mrs. Tootles. It is a good letter, do you think?

Write back.

Regulus A. Black

Letter from Sirius Black to Regulus Black
October 30, 1971

Regulus,

Why don’t you just get Kreacher to follow you up to the attic by making him think you’re up to something, then when he walks through the door, run out and lock him in. That should give you at least enough time to get the keys to that big cabinet in father’s study. The cards are on the top shelf. Be careful when you reach in though because the last time I was in that cabinet a Claw of Fortune grabbed at my wrist.

Me and Potter have a fantastic idea for the Halloween feast. Remus told us about this wicked old tradition called Trick-or-Treat where you go around making people give you sweets and if they don’t you prank them. Brilliant, huh? Ana says no one here does that or dresses in fancy dress costume but we’re going to start a new tradition. I’m not telling you what we have planned for the feast but I’ll write you about it in my next letter if it works. Only if Potter doesn’t skive off, he can be a nance sometimes, I don’t know if I trust him yet.

Mum sent me a short letter but she didn’t say anything about your trip to Spain. She’s never taken me anywhere like that. Was it nice?

She reminded me again of my responsibilities to the family and that I’d get my punishment when I get home for holiday. Do you know what she’s got planned? Perhaps she’s calmed down a bit since September tho, but I’m sure she’ll clobber me no matter what.

She did send me some spending money though so I asked Ana to pick up some more ink for me in Hogsmeade today. I like the blue. Ana also bought me (with my money though, the tart) a pack of Exploding Snap cards. They’re wicked fun, you’d love them. I’ll bring them home at holiday so we can play.

Classes are really easy. I dunno if it’s because I’m pureblood that the magic comes so easy for me or if the classes are just that easy. We learned this wicked spell called “Ustulo”. Nick mum’s wand if you can and try it on Grandmother when she’s sleeping and write me back to tell me what happens. Don’t let her see you do it though, she might clobber you.

Ana’s been great but she’s not as much fun here as she is at home because here she is a prefect. She ratted on Potter and me when she caught us peeking over a private wall out on the edge of the school grounds. I could have broken something when I fell off Potter’s shoulders but it was great Peter was there to cushion my fall. Worst part is she caught us before I got a good look.

I heard Bella got detention yesterday. Cissy told me but she didn’t say why. I bet she was caught snogging another boy. She’s such a trollop. I’ll have to take the mickey out of her next time I see her. She’s stopped hexing me in the halls for no reason though, at least for now. I think Ana said something to her.

Has father been home much? He has not written to me once yet. Perhaps he’s very busy. I hope he’s not still angry about the sorting. I explained myself best I could in the letter to him and mother that the headmaster refused to resort me.

Be nice to get a letter from him though.

I have to make this short. Remus is sick and stuck in the infirmary today and Potter, Peter, and I promised we’d sneak him in some sweets past Madam Pomfrey she’s the school nurse.

Write me back,
Sirius

PS �“ Did Raven bite you again?



Chapter 5

October 30, 1971



“I don’t see why we have to be in third year to go to Hogsmeade,” James complained.

“It’s rubbish,” Sirius sulked. He was slouching in what he had found in his first two months at school was the most comfortable chair by the fire, his legs stretched out in a “V” in front of him and both arms slung out over the sides of the chair.

It was a blustery, cool October morning and the wind could be heard whistling though the miniscule cracks and crevices of the Gryffindor tower. A few of the female upperclassmen screamed when one of the windows suddenly came unhooked and blew papers all around the room. A fifth year boy ran over to the rescue to shut it.

“Perhaps we could get a petition signed by students to let the younger years go and we could give it to the headmaster?” Peter offered.

“That would take ages, Peter,” James complained.

“And that doesn’t help us today,” Sirius said with a shake of his head.

“And it’s too windy outside for the…you-know-what,” James said.

One more reason Sirius was beginning to like James Potter was the fact that he had inherited a very rare invisibility cloak, which…the boys were beginning to learn, came in very handy for four mischievous first years.

“It wouldn’t keep us hidden with this wind,” Sirius added. “Besides, Peter’s enormous feet need a cloak of their own.”

“Shut up, Black!” James hissed, casting an uneasy glance about the room.

“What?”

“Why don’t you just announce it to the common room about my you-know-what?” James whispered this last bit.

“Sod off,” Sirius rolled his eyes.

“We don’t even know how to get to Hogsmeade,” Peter said.

“We would have followed the older students, you tit.” Sirius shrugged. “Just they wouldn’t have known we were following.”

Peter flinched. Sirius loved making the boy twitch. He could tell Peter was still a bit afraid of him. Being a Black had its perks.

James snapped his finger with an idea.

“What about your cousin?” He pointed to Sirius. James had been walking back and forth in front of the fire. “The prefect. The one that’s nice to you, maybe she would pick some up for us?”

“I already asked her and she said no,” Sirius grumbled. “Said she didn’t trust me.”

“Why would she not trust you?” James asked.

Sirius’ crooked grin was all the answer James needed.

“How are we going to get it then? The potion won’t work without it, will it?” Peter asked.

“The book says we need three drops.” Sirius raised his hands in frustration and groaned, “Three bloody drops!”

“Is there a substitute?” Peter suggested.

James shook his head then added, “I can’t believe we couldn’t get it out of the professor’s stockroom. He came in right when we found it. We were so close!”

“Shame,” Sirius sighed heavily and stared into the fire.

“Well,” James matched Sirius’s sigh, “instead of stropping up here we might as well go see if Remus is feeling better. We could share our plans for Treat-or-Tricking.”

“Trick-or-Treating,” Peter corrected.

“What?” James said.

Sirius shook his head; for someone so clever Potter could be truly thick. “C’mon,” he said as he pulled himself out of the comfortable chair and headed towards the portrait hole. James and Peter followed.


~*~*~*~

“Good one, Peter!” James hooted. Sirius stopped on the front steps, bent over and held his sides, which hurt so badly from laughing.

They were headed back to Gryffindor tower by way of the front doors. Saturdays meant free time and with most of the older students in Hogsmeade for the day, the school grounds seemed empty. The boys had spent the early afternoon killing time by the lake attempting to pelt the giant squid with rocks.

Remus decided to try to one-up Peter. He was still looking a little peaky, but he had told the other boys that Madam Pomfrey kept him a bit longer than she should have. He said he’d been feeling better since yesterday. Sirius watched as Remus took a deep breath, swallowed, took another deep breath and swallowed that down then repeated the process again. He cocked his head forward and let out the loudest, deepest, most obscene belch Sirius had ever heard. It echoed off the stone walls of the Front Hall.

“I felt the bloody floor rattle, Lupin!” Sirius shook with laughter.

“Whoo!” James waved his hand in front of his nose, laughing and gasping for breath. “Remus what did Pomfrey feed you for lunch?”

“Erumpent soup?” Peter suggested with a snort.

“Smells more like erumpent dung,” James said.

“Still smells better than his blasted feet,” Sirius added.

Remus was leaning on Peter, laughing too hard to stand on his own.

James started bounding up the stairs and the other boys followed. Sirius, still catching his breath, stayed behind, leaning up against the wall for support as he watched his three mates ascend the staircase.

Mates?

A know-it-all pureblood, a pudgy know-little pureblood, and a bookish Mudblood…were they his friends? They did most everything together anymore. And, although a bit begrudgingly, Sirius had to admit that James was one of the most brilliant people he’d ever met. They were a lot alike. They thought in the same patterns and were both very good in their classes without putting forth much effort. It was like hanging out with a brother the same age, or at least an older Regulus. Much cooler than anyone he’d ever met at any do he’d ever attended with his family. James was a pureblood though, so he could appreciate that. Of course Sirius would like him.

Sirius thought of Regulus. He wondered what he was doing. Surely he wasn’t having as much fun at home as Sirius was at school because Sirius had never had this much fun in his life. School was amazing even though he had to go to classes and all that tosh because it was his three dorm mates that made it so.

He’d definitely have to make it up to Regulus over the winter holidays. There was loads he could teach him already, let alone the wicked things he’d learned of since coming here; Stink Pellets, Screaming Yo-yos, Whizzing Worms, and the coveted Dungbombs (although Sirius had yet to get his hands on some). He and Regulus had never had many toys or games as small children, anything that made noise or had any stench to it at all would not have been allowed in the House of Black. They were left to their own devices and made up play games where they were Werewolves, Pirates, or Vampires and they had been happy enough with that. Both he and Regulus had overactive imaginations, or so their mother had always said.

“Oi, Sirius! You coming?” James called from the first landing.

Sirius smiled up at him but his answer was cut off by a booming voice calling from down the hall.

“Mr. Black!” Sirius turned to see Professor Slughorn waddling towards him. “Mr. Black I’d like to have a word.”

Sirius’s eyes widened and he shook his head at the Professor. “I didn’t do anything!” Sirius said defensively.

Slughorn laughed heavily and his big belly shook. “No, m’boy, no no! You’re not in any trouble, I would just like to have a little chat with you in my office if I could.”

Sirius shot James a grimace as Slughorn wrapped his arm around his shoulders and escorted him in the direction of the his office. They walked the long way down to the dungeons, Slughorn rambling the entire walk down to the musty room, and Sirius had tried to seem interested by nodding. He still wasn’t completely sure he wasn’t in some kind of trouble.

“Have a seat, m’boy!” Slughorn beamed as he plopped down behind his desk.

“I’m not sure why you asked me here, Professor.” Sirius sat gingerly while his eyes roamed the wall of shelves behind Slughorn and instantly located a small, yellow bottle of Puffer-fish Oil. The same bottle he, James, and Peter had tried to nick just hours earlier.

Slughorn grinned at him with a ravishing glint in his eye. Sirius had a fleeting feeling he was a fat, juicy piece of meat and Professor Slughorn had suddenly turned into an extremely famished blood-sucking Bugbear.

Sirius checked the distance from here to the door out of the corner of his eye.

“Mr. Black,” the professor began.

Sirius’s eyes shot back to the professor.

Slughorn sighed as he pivoted back and forth in his chair, his hands in front of his chest, fingertips touching, still surveying him and smiling.

“Sirius, m’boy.”

“Yes, sir?”

“Are you familiar with Ambrosius Flume?” Slughorn asked with a smile.

“Ambrosius what?”

“Flume, m’boy, Flume,” Slughorn chuckled.

“I’m sorry, sir, I don’t know what that is.” And honestly Sirius didn’t care. But he did care about that little yellow bottle…if he could just figure out a way to get the bloody thing.

Slughorn let out a throaty laugh, “It’s a who, m’boy, not a what!”

Sirius grinned sheepishly. “Well, there’s your answer, I don’t know him.”

“Owner of Honeydukes! You do know Honeydukes, don’t you boy?”

“I’ve heard of it, yeah,” Sirius answered roughly. He didn’t appreciate the Professor’s condescending attitude. “It’s a sweets shop, really good chocolate,” Sirius said with a nod.

“He was one of mine in the day.” Slughorn puffed out his chest.

Sirius scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. “One of yours, sir?”

“Slug Club!” Slughorn beamed.

“Slug Club?”

Slughorn leaned forward and rested a chubby elbow on his desk. “Only the brightest and best of Hogwarts, the Slug Club.” He lowered his voice and mock whispered behind his hand, “’Course Dumbledore doesn’t know much about it, it’s my secret little club.”

Sirius’s eyebrows rose and he nodded slowly. He didn’t know what to say to that.

Slughorn leaned back into his chair with a sigh and rested his hands on his lapels. He narrowed his eyes as if inspecting Sirius and added, “You’re a noble and a pureblood. I like those characteristics. And with the surname ‘Black’ you’re someone I’d very much like in my collection.”

“Collection, sir?” Sirius wasn’t some trinket this man could show off to his friends. Sirius was the heir to his family. He didn’t need to be part of a silly club.

“Just a figure of speech, m’boy. But all the Blacks that have been in my club have been in Slytherin. I’m not prejudice,” Slughorn added quickly, shaking a pudgy palm at Sirius, “Gryffindors are welcome too! There are a few Ravenclaws this year as well.”

Slughorn stopped and stared at him. Sirius stared back.

“Well?” Slughorn asked.

“Well what?” Sirius asked back.

“What d’you say, boy? Are you going to join?”

“I don’t know.” Sirius shrugged, “I’m not big on clubs.”

Slughorn’s jaw dropped. For a moment he was shocked into silence.

“You’re a first year, boy! I don’t usually snag first years. You’re an exception. You’re a Black, Sorted into Gryffindor, that’s never happened before! We’ll see some interesting things coming from you I’m sure. I just have to have you!”

“Have to have me, sir?”

Slughorn looked around fumbling for more to say. He wasn’t usually snubbed like this. All the students wanted to part of his club. He was literally speechless.

Sirius glanced up above Slughorn to the Puffer-fish Oil then back down to Slughorn and something occurred to him. First of all, Slughorn was head of Slytherin House and it sounded as though this club was for the elite of the school. If Sirius joined this “Slug Club” perhaps that would make up for the fact that Sirius wasn’t Sorted into Slytherin, perhaps that was something his father could be proud of him for? Second, he needed that bloody little yellow bottle.

“Slug Club, huh?” Sirius narrowed one eye.

“Yeah, boy, give it a try,” Slughorn said with a prodding smile.

“Sure,” Sirius said resolutely. “But…” Sirius licked his lips, “…perhaps there’s a little something you could do for me first.”

Sirius smiled his most charming smile and it’s was Professor Slughorn’s eyebrows that shot up this time.


~*~*~*~


“You bloody well did not!” James shouted from his bed.

“I did.” Sirius was grinning from ear to ear. His eyes sparkled with an insane amount of self-appreciation.

Eat that, Potter.

“What the hell.” James ran one hand through his mussed up hair and ogled at the bottle in the other.

“How did you get it?” Remus asked in surprise, hurrying towards James’s bed from his own.

“Doesn’t matter now,” Sirius smirked.

“You nicked the whole bottle?” Peter asked, amazed.

Sirius smiled proudly then swiped the bottle from James’s hand.

“Pick up your chin, Potter, we have work to do,” he said and started towards their bathroom.

The three boys scurried in after him.

~*~*~*~

Sirius lay on his stomach on his bed with all the curtains shut around him. It was late and the other boys were asleep. He and James were usually the last to do so and James had just turned in for the night.

Sirius himself couldn’t sleep.

Halloween 1971 was going to be one for the history books. He scratched his nose, bit his bottom lip, and scribbled more notes onto the parchment he and James had been working on.

One: Swelling Solution.

Merlin anoint James Potter with some sort of hair product to tame that atrocious rat’s nest he calls hair for his superb potion making skills.

Two: Time Release Spell.

Merlin bless Remus Lupin with piles and loads of musty old books, which he loves for some odd reason, for his ability to accidentally run across obscure spells.

Three: Decoy.

Merlin help Peter Pettigrew keep his brilliant ability to gab endlessly to teachers about nothing enabling him to avert attention away from where it is not wanted.

Result: To be determined…

Sirius grinned wickedly down at the parchment before rolling it up and tucking it safely in his side table drawer.

~*~*~*~

October 31, 1971

The Great Hall was adorned with the usual floating candles, the tables were laden with huge platters of delicious amounts of food, and scattered all around the room at each table sat great, massive, carved pumpkins.

Sirius counted; there must have been nearly a hundred of them.

The Halloween Feast was definitely a big to-do at Hogwarts. Crepe paper in orange, yellow, black; ghoulish masks along with the Jack-o-lanterns lined the tables in decoration for the feast. The headmaster was sitting, chatting animatedly to Professor McGonagall as most of the other teachers filed in to the room, socializing as they did so.

Meanwhile, the four Gryffindor first year boys sat huddled at one end of their house table, unbeknownst to most, at a safe distance.

“Are you sure you got all of them?” Sirius whispered. He and James were sitting; backs to the wall, so they could have a view of the entire Great Hall.

“Yes!” James hissed at him, “we got them all. Stop fidgeting!” He pushed his hand onto Sirius’s leg to force it to stop shaking.

Sirius scanned the room as it filled with students. But they were taking too long; everyone was taking their time to reach their seats, giggling and horsing around, in no rush and a generally festive mood.

“They need to bloody hurry up,” Sirius said through clenched teeth.

“Would you sit still?” Remus whispered breathlessly from across the table, “You’re making me crazy.”

Remus’s eyes were big as saucers with the air of someone generally terrified about life and he looked as though he was about to lose his lunch. Peter was chewing on his fingernails, turning his head every few seconds to look behind him and gawk at the room. James sat next to Sirius, a bundle of nervous energy himself. He kept literally bobbing up and down in his seat, pushing his glasses up his nose and running his hand through his hair.

“I’m going to go mental if they don’t just sit down!” Sirius threatened.

“You’re already mental,” James added. “And you’re going to blow it if you do anything. Just shut up!”

“Peter, stop looking about! It makes you look suspicious!” Sirius hissed.

Peter flinched and grabbed his goblet to take a drink, simply for something to do.

“Shut up!” James thumped Sirius on the arm.

“Ow! Wanker!”

“We should have never done this,” Remus said as he shook and bowed his head down at his empty plate in front of him.

“Stop being such a tosser. It’s going to work brilliantly!”

“Sirius, Slughorn’s going to know who did this. He’s not thick!” Remus said.

“He shouldn’t have bloody well given me the potion then!” Sirius responded.

“He’s going to know it was you.” Remus added, borderline frantic, “and subsequently us!”

“Calm down,” Sirius shrugged before a wicked grin crossed his face, he nearly cackled with excitement. “Oh it will be so bloody worth detention though if we get Bella.” He turned to James, “As long as Potter got all of them.”

“I got them all, you git! I already told you!”

Bustling older students, hyped up from a busy day out, chatted endlessly about Hogsmeade. Younger years, lucky enough to be acquainted with older students returning from Hogsmeade, were frenzied from and abundance of sweets brought back. The overall feel of the Great Hall that evening was one of over-excitement - or possibly - a feeling that something could explode at any moment.

Little did most of the student body know that that indeed was about to happen.

The first one to go was sitting in the middle of the poor Hufflepuff table. Some unsuspecting second year caught the blunt of most of it. The next one to go, just seconds later, was at the Slytherin table.

Sirius’s body tensed involuntarily and he let out a small squeak of excitement.

Two more went off at the Ravenclaw table at the same time.

Boom! Boom!

Everywhere popping and booming and explosions, one after another, as the Time Release Spell went into action. Bits of pumpkin, once carved into Halloween Jack-o-lanterns, sprayed from each table as they blew up and all over startled students. The Swelling Potion was a success as chunks of the massive orange gourds and glops of the mushy flesh insides flew in the air as if in a display of messy fireworks.

Where there were once happy and contented students, ready to feast on a holiday meal, were now a roomful of screaming and frantic students.

Sirius positively shook in laughter when he caught sight of his cousin, Bellatrix, covered from head to toe in sopping pumpkin pulp, screeching like a banshee as she stormed out of the Great Hall, pushing and shoving those around her as she sped out. James too was doubled over in delight. They gave each other a look of satisfaction in a job well done. Their first combined prank, and what a fantastic prank it was, pulled off to perfection.

Until they felt a warm, chubby hand resting on their shoulders. Sirius turned slowly and looked up onto the face of Professor Slughorn.

Bugger


~*~*~*~


Completely exhausted and smelling of dragon manure, Sirius trudged up the staircase to the dorm. He, James, and Peter had finished clearing Hagrid’s garden, which was punishment for the pumpkin fiasco. James and Peter had stopped by the pitch to watch Quidditch practice but Sirius, not used to physical labor or smelling of rotten vegetables and animal feces, wanted nothing more than to wash up and go to bed.

When he entered the dorm, Remus was the only occupant. He was sitting on his pillow; legs outstretched in front of him, with something flat and square sitting in his lap. He looked up when Sirius entered.

“Hullo,” Remus greeted him with a small smile.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at him and crossed the room to Remus’s bed. He fell back in a boneless heap of unwashed, smelly boy at Remus’s feet.

“Oi!” Remus shouted playfully, “get your filthy self off my clean bed!”

Sirius smirked and comically wiggled his filthy self all over Remus’s bed.

Still lying on his back, he stopped his squirming and pointed a grimy, stained finger up at Remus.

“I don’t understand how you got out of detention. You’re at fault as much as the rest of us. You found that bloody spell in one of your musty old books.”

“I just told you about that spell,” Remus answered shyly. “I didn’t expect you to actually use it.”

Sirius wiggled more and Remus laughed as he playfully tossed the flat, square object onto Sirius’s stomach.

“You’re mental,” Remus snickered.

Sirius reached blindly for the item and held it up over his head for inspection. He opened it and looked at the pictures inside. Four longhaired men looked back at him. They didn’t move; they just looked blankly back at him. It wasn’t a book. There was a stack of similar items sitting neatly on Remus’s bedside table.

“What’s this?” Sirius asked.

Remus looked up and rolled his eyes, “Don’t be daft.”

Sirius lay on his back, holding up the item and examining it. It looked like some sort of thin, square book with no pages or maybe a wall hanging of some sort. He didn’t know anyone who would hang this sort of item on the wall though; certainly no one in his family. And why would Remus have an entire stack of them?

Sirius slyly peered over at Remus. He was a bit taken aback when he noticed Remus was watching him.

“You really don’t know what that is?” Remus asked gently.

Sirius shyly shook his head. He was not used to not knowing things.

“It’s a record.”

“A what?” Sirius asked.

“A record. An album.”

“What does it do?” Sirius asked.

Remus smiled. “It plays music.” He took the album from Sirius and pulled the record from its sleeve. “This is the Beatles’ White Album.”

“It’s black though,” Sirius stated the obvious.

Remus chortled, “I know it’s black, all records are black. This record is called the White Album.”

“Why?” Sirius asked.

“Because that’s what the musicians’ named it.”

Sirius pulled a face. “Why would they deliberately call a black album white? That makes no sense.” He rolled his eyes and mumbled something under his breath that Remus thought sounded a lot like, “Muggles.”

“A lot of the Beatles records make no sense,” Remus added with a shrug.

“How do you get the music out of it?”

“You have to play them on a victrola. It spins the record around really fast and a needle vibrates and it sounds like music through a large cone or speaker of sorts.”

“Do you have a victrola?”

“Yeah.”

Remus slid down to the floor and pulled a large box out from under his bed. He reached under again and drew out a large funnel shaped object?.

“That thing will play the record?”

“Yeah, just wait.”

As Remus lugged the box onto his bedside table, Sirius sat up and craned his neck to watch him assemble the music player. Once ready, Remus took the record from Sirius and placed it on the turntable. He dropped the needle onto the record and started turning the crank.

Sirius listened for a moment then pulled a face.

“Who’s Bungalow Bill?”

Remus snickered, “No one. It’s just a song. Here, here’s another.”

Sirius listened, trying hard to understand what was coming out of the music machine.

“Ob-la-what? What are they saying?” Sirius scrunched his face.

“Ob-la-di-ob-la-da.”

“Why are they saying that?”

Remus snorted and shrugged, “I don’t know.”

Sirius pulled a face, “Beetles, huh? I don’t think I like your buggy Muggle music.”

“There’s others,” Remus nodded towards his stack of records. “My mum gave them to me. They were hers.”

“They’re from your mother?”

“Yeah,” Remus answered, his cheeks reddening.

“She gave all those to you?”

“Yeah,” Remus said. “She’s a music teacher in a Muggle school. She loves all kinds of music. These are just a few from her collection.”

“Wow.” Sirius couldn’t believe someone would have that many records in their home. But he also couldn’t remember ever hearing music played in Grimmauld Place. He had heard music before at his aunt and uncle’s at holidays, but mostly from a magicked piano. And, no one ever really listened to it.

“That’s cool,” he added with an impressed nod.

Remus smiled, “Yeah, it is cool. My mum thought if I brought them it might help me make friends.” His ears turned pink as soon as he realized what he’d said.

There was an awkward silence.

“Why wouldn’t you be able to make friends on your own? Because she’s a Muggle?” Sirius asked without much thought.

“No,” Remus answered indignately, busying himself with the records.

Sirius raised his eyebrows in surprise. His first thought was he wondered if his own mother ever thought about that sort of thing. The second thing to immediately pop into his had was; probably not. Remus was the only wizard in his dorm that had a Muggle parent and there was something definitely different about Remus because of it; but Sirius couldn’t put his finger on it…and that was maddening.

There was another long, awkward silence.

“Remus?” Sirius played with the corner of the bed covers. He was not sure if he should push further but his curiosity was getting the better of him.

“What?” Remus answered, purposely still distracted.

“What’s it like…” Sirius chewed on his bottom lip thinking of the right words. “I guess, what’s it like living with a Muggle?”

Remus’s turned, brows furrowed. He didn’t necessarily look angry at the question but somewhat perplexed.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Remus finally answered.

“Well, your mum, she’s a Muggle. What was it like growing up with her?”

Remus shrugged after some thought.

“I don’t think I know how to answer that, Sirius. She’s my mum. I don’t know what it’s like not to grow up with a Muggle.”

“Well, I mean, did she ever clobber you, or did you ever have to perform weird rituals or something?” Sirius’s eyes grew big as he asked, “Did she ever kill anyone?”

“What?” Remus exclaimed, “Of course my mother never killed anyone!”

Remus was looking at Sirius as if he’d sprouted four more heads.

“Is she sick all the time?”

“No,” Remus shook his head, “Why would she be?”

Sirius could feel his face start to flush. He chewed on his thumbnail, fidgeting, scrunching his eyes up in thought.

“Do you suppose she’s a squib then?” Sirius asked.

“She’s not,” Remus shook his head. “She didn’t know anything about magic until she met my dad.”

“Are you sure?” Sirius pressed, leaning forward on the bed.

“Of course! Why are you asking me this?” Remus finally asked.

Sirius looked straight at Remus and answered as if reciting from a textbook.

“Muggles are vile and they would kill you just as easily as look at you. A wizard should never trust them because they are evil creatures that will hurt you and infect you with their diseases so you die a slow, painful death.”

Remus’s mouth literally fell open and his eyebrows shot up beneath his fringe.

“My mum’s never hurt anyone…ever,” Remus said in a small, hollow voice. “She loves children and teaching and she was the most popular girl in her school when dad met her. She makes great pie,” he added, as though this last talent would demolish any thoughts Sirius could have that his mother was a raving murderer.

“Does she ever go into fits?’ Sirius continued, “Does she foam at the mouth? Or maybe she just…”

“No and no!’ Remus shook out of his stupor with a snort of laughter at the absurdity of this conversation.

Still snickering, Remus pulled from his bedside drawer a framed photograph and handed it to Sirius. Sirius looked down and saw a man with glasses and golden brown hair that was blowing wildly in the wind. He was on a beach. The sun was bright overhead and the waves were crashing onto the sand behind him. Sitting propped up on this man’s shoulders was a young boy of around four; it was Remus, he was grinning and waving frantically at the photographer.

Next to these two stood a pretty woman whose long, light brown hair kept blowing across her face. She wore a light yellow sundress that tied at her shoulders and she kept tucking strands of wind blown hair behind her ear. She had a warm smile and her shoulders were tinted pink from the summer sun. She was a picture of health. She waved shyly up at him. She looked very nice, if pictures could tell a story. Her eyes were bright with laughter and her smile was warm and inviting…much different from the formal pictures of his mother, solid, steady, and stern.

Sirius had a sudden unexplainable burst of envy towards Remus which quickly turned to embarrassment.

He must look stupid really. There was no way on Merlin’s earth that this woman could ever hurt another soul. What did Remus think of him for saying such foolish things? But this was what he had been taught, this was all he knew. Mrs. Lupin was an enigma and the first thing to ever allow Sirius to question himself.

“That’s my mum,” Remus pointed out the obvious.

Felling unbearably self-conscious and clumsy, Sirius smiled in spite of himself, not sure of what else to do or say. He handed the photograph back to Remus and slid down off his bed.

“I should wash up.”

Remus nodded, turning the photograph around in his hand and glancing down at it as Sirius crossed the room.

“Remus.” Sirius stopped in the doorway of the boy’s bath and turned around.

“Yeah?”

“I wish I never called you a Mudblood our first day.”

Remus smiled shyly and shrugged. “It’s alright.”

“Yeah, well…I didn’t know it was a bad thing.”

Remus gave him an incredulous look. “You didn’t think it was bad to call someone something with the word “Mud” in it?”

“Well,” Sirius stammered, “I knew it was bad because Mudbloods are filthy…well, I mean, I thought they were. I mean I think they are. Well, that’s not true I guess.” He shook his head. “I knew it was bad but I didn’t think it was a…”

Glancing up and seeing Remus’s confused reaction, Sirius cursed his inability to explain coherently.

“Bugger!”

“That’s not a very good apology.” Remus tried to hide his smile. “If that is in fact what you are doing.”

Sirius lifted one corner of his mouth in a half-hearted grin. “It’s just, that’s what I thought you were called. I didn’t know the term ‘Muggleborn’.”

Remus shook his head to repeat that there were no hard feelings.

Sirius looked down at the floor debating to say the next thing on his mind or not.

“Lupin, one last thing?”

“Yeah?” Remus looked up.

“Your mum,” Sirius said as he looked up with a shy smile, “she seems real nice.”

Remus smiled broadly. “She is.”

Sirius returned the smile but he turned and left for the bath with the gut-twisting feeling that no matter how easy classes were for him, there was so much he didn’t know about the world outside of Grimmauld Place.




Letter to Sirius Black from Regulus Black
November 3rd, 1971

Sirius,

That spell is wicked! I tried it on Grandmother Irma when she fell asleep after tea and it blasted off her eyebrows! She looks funny now. It worked for me first time and she did not know it was me! Do you think I’m really powerful like you? Maybe spells will come easy for me too. It is because we are pureblood I bet.

Ms. Babcock promised not to tattle on me since she has to help me write these letters and sees what I write. She said as long as I don’t try it on her she will keep my secret because the more I write the more practice I get.

Mother says you got in trouble. She got a letter from Hogwarts. What did you do? Is it because of the Halloween Feast? Are you going to tell me about it? You said you would.

I found a way to get past the elf heads on the wall. I took the poker from the fire in father’s study and jammed it in their eyes. I’m not so afraid of them now that they can’t watch me walk by. I don’t think mother has noticed them yet.

There’s no one to play with here. So mother told Ms. Babcock to give me more lessons to keep me occupied. Mother is having me relearn all the family history. I tried to tell her I already knew it but she just said something about, one can never be too careful. I don’t know what she meant.

Father brought back this food from India and it is wicked! It is called curry and is super hot. It has got all sorts of bits in it and I really like it. I drank four whole glasses of water with dinner last night. I think my tongue is burnt tho. The boxes it came in are bright colors and they sparkle different shades depending on how hot the food is. I ate the orange box but only father tried the red. He seemed sorry he had.

Write soon I’m bored,

Regulus Arcturus Black

Letter from Sirius Black to Regulus Black
December 16, 1971

Reg,

Don’t be such a todger. There’s nothing in the garden. You probably just heard a bird or a squirrel or something and it’s nothing to be afraid of. If anything, Kreacher was probably trying to wind you up. I know a few good hexes now and I’ll get him for the both of us when I get home.

I don’t think I like living with three dorm mates. I miss having my own room. Potter gabs about Quidditch until the wee hours of the morning and our beds are right next to one another, Remus’s feet smell like Gran Irma, and Peter blows off in his sleep. I once counted nine times before I fell asleep! The twit eats beans and toast every day. It’s awful when he eats cabbage at dinner. Remember when we had to sit with Gran that one summer everyday after tea while she read to us? It smells that bad!

Classes are winding down. Nothing new except I earned more points (for bloody Gryffindor) in Transfiguration. I think that’s my favorite class so far. Of course, I lost more points because of that sodding detention. Mother sent another Howler. It wasn’t my fault. Even Potter said I was framed. Bella did it and when Professor Sinistra showed up, I was the one holding the bag. She’s going to get it at holiday. I wish we didn’t have to spend it with them, well at least not Bella.

Father finally wrote me a letter. He said he thinks it’s great I joined Slughorn’s club. He thought it was brill that I was asked. He told me I’m the youngest Black to join old Sluggy’s club. Brilliant, huh?

Do you know if you’re all coming to pick me up at King’s Cross? Mother didn’t say. I wish my punishment was over. I keep thinking about it. I’m sure my bum will never be the same again. I hope it’s that easy.

Sirius






Chapter Six


December 1971

“Do you know what you’re getting for Christmas?” James asked Sirius as they lay awake the last night of term. They were due to take the train to London tomorrow for the start of the winter holidays. As per usual, the two of them sat up late randomly discussing anything that came to mind �“ which for James, Sirius was learning, was usually Quidditch. Remus and Peter had long ago fallen asleep.

“We celebrate Yule.” Sirius yawned widely. “Never done Christmas.”

“Do you still get presents?” James echoed the yawn.

“Regulus and I each get one gift,” Sirius answered. He sat up, leaned over the bed and grabbed one of his shoes off the floor and launched it across the room at a raucously snoring Peter.

“Oi!” Peter sat up, bleary eyed and baffled.

“Stuff it, Pettigrew!” Sirius hissed, “or I’ll never bloody get to sleep.”

Peter huffed, rolled over and covered his head with his patchwork quilt.

“Only one present?” James continued as if Sirius chucking a shoe at Peter were standard practice. “Is it something good?”

Sirius pulled a face. “It’s usually an heirloom or something with value to the family. Wish they’d get me something cool just once though, like a wizarding wireless. Maybe then I could hear songs off the records Remus’s mum gave him.”

“Probably not, that’s all Muggle music. We have a wireless in my da’s den, all they play is Weird Sisters and Hob Goblins and that sort…good stuff mind, but not Muggle.” James lifted up, punched his pillow to fluff it, and settled back down. “What sort of heirlooms do you get?” he asked, genuinely intrigued.

Sirius stretched languidly before answering. “Usually some old trinket or musty old book, sometimes clothing.”

“Clothing?” James asked horrified. “It’s bad enough my Auntie gives me socks each year.”

“It’s not so bad.” Sirius shrugged. “One year I got this great bloody sword, it was wicked, emeralds encrusted on the handle with the Black family crest carved into it. It was my great, great grandfather’s…” Sirius paused “…I think. Anyway, then my brother accidentally cut three of his fingers off with it.”
At James’s horrified look, Sirius shrugged and continued, “No worries, my mother put him right. He’s got all his fingers again. Anyway, my father took it and stuck it on the wall of his study.”

James, regaining his composure, simply nodded and smiled weakly.

“The next year I got my uncle Cygnus’s cloak he wore when he spoke against Muggle Rights, he was well famous for that speech and well…” Seeing James’s eyebrows shoot up under his fringe in shock, Sirius backtracked; “Err…that’s a long story. This year since my mum’s mad at me I’ll probably get a pair of my Gran’s old knickers.”

James snorted. “Bad luck, mate.”

“What sort of things do you get?” Sirius stretched and pulled a jumper off the floor and wiggled into it over his pajamas. The nights were getting very cold. Winter up north was very different than winter in London at Grimmauld Place. He rolled back around and faced James. James was still lying there with his hands behind his head. He eyed Sirius as if debating something, then shrugged.

“Oh, nothing I guess,” James said and rolled over so his back was to Sirius.

“Lying git.” Sirius threw his pillow and hit James in the back of the head. “C’mon, what do you get?”

James rolled back over, the mirror image of Sirius, lying on his side, elbow propped and head cupped in his palm with an odd expression on his face.

“What?” Sirius asked again.

James bit his lip as if he wasn’t sure he should continue. “Your family is a strange lot.”

“Don’t start that again, Potter!” Sirius warned, “or I swear I’ll…”

“Calm down,” James sighed as he pushed his glasses up his nose. He smirked and threw the pillow back at Sirius’s head. “I just mean it’s Christmas, time for fun things, not knickers or swords.”

“Knickers can be fun.” Sirius said with a waggle of his eyebrows and a sexual suaveness beyond his eleven years.

James cocked an eyebrow at his mate curiously then with a shake of his head decided it best to ignore him.

“What sort of things do you get then?” Sirius asked finally.

“The kind of stuff most kids get; holiday sweets and candy and pies, Fizzing Wizzbees, those fantastic floating sherbet balls, Ice Mice, exploding bon-bons, Christmas Crackers, and toys, top of the line broomsticks; that sort. A few years ago I got a Wizarding camera and last year a broom servicing kit and this toy wand that shot sparks out when I pointed it at my mum and a book of beginner spells.”

Sirius sat speechless for a moment. He’d never received such things for Yule…or ever. Toys and candy and noisy trinkets were not something you would find in the House of Black. He didn’t even know what a Christmas Cracker was. His mother would never stand for such tosh, he was sure or it. Sure he’d love to get those sorts of things but that was something his family never did. His Yule wasn’t so bad though. Potter made it sound as though he never received a thing. He got that sword and hadn’t he mentioned it was wicked?

Neither of them really knew what to say after that. Sirius could almost feel James’ eyes on him and it was making him feel awkward, like he was so different from all of them. Finally Sirius said he was tired and climbed in under his covers. He stared up at the red curtain canopy overhead for a long time then finally mumbled:

“Be cool to get a camera, I suppose.”

He rolled over onto his side so his back was to James before adding a mumbled, “G’night”.

Sirius was unaware of it, but James watched him thoughtfully until he fell asleep.


*~*~*~*


“I win, Potter, take that!” Sirius laughed as he laid his final card and it exploded unceremoniously in James’s face.

“Best of nine?” James suggested hopefully, waving the smoke from in front of his face. There was soot forming on the skin around his glasses from his continuous losses.

“We’re pulling into the station soon,” Peter pointed out as he watched the passing cityscape out of the cabin window.

“Remus, you feeling alright?” James asked as he and Sirius picked up the Exploding Snap cards.

Remus again was looking pale and peaky. He was using Sirius’s warm woolen cloak as a blanket and snuggled himself into a corner and had dozed off and on most of the trip.

“Yeah,” he smiled weakly and yawned. “I’ll be fine once I get some fresh air.”

“Sorry, mate.” James half smiled apologetically as he tried to wave the smoke out of the cabin.

As the train pulled into Kings Cross, the boys gathered their things. Sirius could feel the excitement in the cabin, he himself was eager to see Regulus and show him all the cool things he’d learned. He missed his parents too, but he wasn’t looking forward to seeing them and finally accepting the pending punishment that had been brewing since his Sorting in September. But, it was Yule. Perhaps his mother would let it slide just this once.

Right.

He followed his three friends off the train; Peter first, then Remus, James and finally himself. Remus eyed his parents immediately and mumbled a shy goodbye before clumsily dragging his trunk towards them. Sirius watched Mrs. Lupin closely. She was a Muggle, after all. Perhaps Remus was hiding something. But, while watching Mrs. Lupin wrap her arms around her son, smiling down at him and give him a quick kiss on the forehead, Sirius couldn’t help but think that she was a nice woman, even though she was a Muggle.

Mr. Lupin seemed to ask Remus something and Remus turned and pointed at the three of them. Sirius looked away politely, embarrassed to be caught staring, but looked back in time to give Remus and his parents a small wave. James and Peter were busy scanning the crowd for their own parents. Peter found his next.

Mrs. Pettigrew looked just how Sirius had imagined her, short and squat and carrying an awful handbag that looked like a dead animal hanging from a strap. Peter’s little sister, Pamela, looked like him but with pigtails. She kept staring at Sirius and he had to look away before he laughed.

“Well, just you and me,” Sirius sighed and James nodded.

Sirius’s heart was racing and his nerves were on end. He searched the crowd again for his mother and father. The station was so over crowded with busting students and delighted parents that it was difficult to find anyone. Then he saw them, his mother first. Standing tall, shoulders back, chin up, sneering down at all the screaming children as if they were dirty mongrels.

Blacks were never caught bustling.

Sirius had to laugh inwardly at how strange his mother looked in this setting. She stood stiff and still as the rest of the world scurried around her. As if everyone around her were moving at a normal pace and she were in slow motion.

Time to face the music…er…punishment.

“There’s my mother and brother,” Sirius pointed. James’s eyes followed Sirius’s arm until he came upon Mrs. Black and Regulus. She was standing with both her hands on Regulus’s shoulders. Regulus too, was dressed in his finest winter cloak, eyes the size of Quaffles as he watched all the children running around them. From time to time, Mrs. Black would pull him back from a particularly grubby or “Muggle” looking student.

Sirius watched James’s expression as he gave a half-hearted smile.

Then Regulus saw Sirius. He broke free of his mother’s grasp and ran to him. Out of breath when he reached him, Regulus went to hug Sirius but stopped at the last second. He smiled oddly and glanced back at their mother as she strode forward.

“Hi!” Regulus said, excitedly and breathlessly, all smiles. “I missed you!” Then in an added whisper, “Just to warn you, she’s on the warpath.” Sirius chanced a glance at his mother. She was frowning, and he nodded a silent thanks to Regulus.

“Hullo,” Regulus greeted James politely.

“Hullo, Squire,” James smirked as Sirius reached out and ruffled his brother’s hair.

Regulus pushed at Sirius and the two immediately started to play wrestle, until their mother approached.

“Regulus,” she said evenly. “I told you not to touch him before we can get him home.”

Regulus backed away guiltily as James gave Sirius a quizzical look.

Mrs. Black’s eyes fell upon James.

Sirius cleared his throat a little. “Hullo, Mother. This is James, one of my dorm mates.”

Nose in the air she surveyed him like a particularly difficult purchase.

“James?” she asked.

“James Potter,” Sirius added.

“Potter you say?” she asked thoughtfully, “from the Devonshire Potters?”

James chanced a quick look at Sirius before nodding with an answer, “Ahh…yes, ma’am.”

She didn’t quite smile but Sirius could see she was pleased.

“Very well. We have a dinner engagement, James Potter, so you must excuse us. Hurry along, Sirius.” She nodded curtly to James and pulled Regulus along with her.

James eyebrows shot up as he exchanged looks with Sirius. Sirius was quite sure from his reaction that James had never met anyone quite like his mother.

“That’s my mum,” Sirius told him unnecessarily, then shrugged.

They bid each other shy and awkward goodbyes and Sirius followed his mother and brother, dragging his trunk behind him.

“See you in a few weeks!” James called.

“See you!” Sirius called as he hurried to catch up with his family.


*~*~*~*~*


Humiliating is what it was. He could have managed just fine on his own…completely degrading. What did his mother think he could be infected with? What could possibly be on him? He’d been living with a half-blood for nearly four months and he’d never come down with any illness. If he was carrying any sort of diseases surely they would have affected him before now.

While his mother and Regulus had dinner with the LeStranges, Sirius was confined, literally hexed to the bath while Kreacher and the other house elves scrubbed him down forcefully.

Humiliating. The last time he was bathed by anyone other than himself he was three years old and he was surely capable at the age of eleven to do so on his own. He definitely didn’t need that mangy house elf scrubbing so bloody hard. Even his skin hurt now; never mind his pride.

Sirius sat in his bedroom on top of his bed, wrapped in his bathrobe and chilled due to his damp skin and hair. He scanned his bedroom. It felt odd being back here, in his old room. It was too quiet, for one. Peter and Remus weren’t here, squabbling over the last Chocolate Frog and there was no James raving madly about the Cannons chaser, Whoshisface.

The room itself felt peculiar but he knew it shouldn’t. This was his bedroom and had been for eleven years. After living in a dorm with three other boys he realized it wasn’t like most rooms for boys his age. There were no Quidditch posters on the walls, no unseemly messes or disorder, no odd and unexplained odors… nothing that really made it his own. All three of his friends had decorated the walls by their beds with their own personal items; James added Quidditch posters, Peter added a photo of a famous film actress, and Remus had some posters of rock-n-roll bands, both Muggle and magical. Sirius’s wall by his bed was empty. He’d had nothing to put there.

It was just like his room, bare except for the décor his mother had put there before he was born. His bed was a four-poster, grand and carved wood, although the drapes here were green. The walls were dark wood panels and the few pictures on the wall were ancestors. Nothing made the room his own, well, except for the pile of Wizard Comics Andromeda had pilfered for him and he had hidden in the space under the window seat, but of course no one but he knew they were there.

In the distance he heard quick footsteps pounding up the stairs and suddenly Regulus burst into his room, ran to him, and tackled him flat on the bed.

“Ooof!”

“Sirius!” Regulus cried breathlessly hugging his brother. “You’re all clean now!”

Sirius pushed him off but smiled at his enthusiasm.

“Yeah,” he mumbled. With a sigh he asked, “How was dinner with the LeStranges?”

Regulus shrugged and pulled a face, then bombarded Sirius with questions.

“What did you bring home? Did you bring those exploding cards? Do you have any sweets?”

Sirius laughed. “No, no sweets but I did bring the cards.”

“What’s Hogwarts like?”

Sirius smiled widely. “It’s wicked! I’ve never had so much fun in my life!”

“What are the classes like? Are they hard?”

“Nah, they’re a piece of cake!”

“Are the professors mean?

“Only a few…most are cool though.”

“What’s your favorite class?”

“Transfiguration! It’s unbelievable,” Sirius answered enthused, “we took this old wardrobe and turned it into a row-boat and me and James got it on the first try! We all went down to the lake and just sat back and watched as the others in the class struggled, trying to paddle theirs or stop the doors that were still on the bottom from coming open and sinking them. It was funny!”

“You had to turn a wardrobe into a row-boat and you did it on the first try?” Regulus asked, wide-eyed.

“Of course.” Sirius answered with a shrug and a grin.

“Do you really have classes with Mudbloods?” Regulus asked wide-eyed.

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. “Don’t say that, Reg”

“What?” Regulus asked, affronted.

“They’re called Muggleborns, not Mudbloods.”

“I never heard ‘Muggleborns’ before.”

“Well you have now, so that’s what you should call them.”

Regulus rolled his eyes, “Doesn’t matter what we call them.”

“Yes it does,” Sirius said.

“Why? They don’t matter.”

“They do so.”

“No they don’t.” Regulus said with a little laugh. “They’re all worthless filth.”

“That’s not true!” Sirius said.

“Says who?”

“You’re an idiot,” Sirius said with a roll of his eyes and pushed Regulus back off his bed.

“I am not,” Regulus argued as he stood back up.

“Yes,” Sirius nodded angrily, “you are!”

Regulus, confused at his brother’s sudden attitude, said plainly. “Shut up!’

Sirius shot back, “You shut up!”

“No! You shut up, Sirius! Just because you’re away at school doesn’t make you better than me.”

“I never said I was better than you!”

“You act like you are!”

“I just don’t think it’s right to say ‘Mudbloods’, is all!”

“Why not?”

“It’s just not on, Regulus. I just don’t think it’s right to call them that. I know some and they’re alright.”

“You know some? Who?”

“Doesn’t matter who.” Sirius shrugged off the question. “I’m just saying he’s an alright bloke.”

“We’re better than them though, you said so yourself that you and James transfigured the wardrobe on your first try, and you’re both purebloods.”

“How do you know James is a pureblood?” Sirius asked surprised.

“Mother checked.” Regulus said with a shrug.

“How did she…?” Sirius started but Regulus interrupted.

“Are we going to play cards or not?”

Sirius rolled his eyes. He knew he wasn’t really angry with Regulus; he was still angry with his mother for ordering Kreacher to give him his bath. And, he remembered that he’d promised himself he’d make sure Regulus had some fun while he was home for holiday.

“Fine,” Sirius smiled slowly, “let just play then, eh?”

Regulus grabbed the cards from Sirius’s bedside table, giving his older brother a small shove and a small smile as he did so.


*~*~*~*


Sirius had been subjected to long and monotonous lectures since he’d come home for the holidays. He’d been home nearly a week and not a moment had passed when he came in contact with his mother that she wouldn’t remind him of his duties, his expected role in the family, directions to shun the unworthy among his housemates and school and bring honour to the Black family by excelling in his studies, which he’d been doing so far, but no one seemed to mention.

From what he had expected when he’d got home, he felt he could handle the lectures and thought he’d gotten off rather lightly considering.

“Wait for me!” Regulus called as he sat in the foyer of Grimmauld Place attempting to tie up his bootlaces while wearing mittens. He was bundled from head to toe in cap, cloak, scarf, mittens, and boots. It was the eve of Yule and they were pleasantly surprised to once again be allowed the afternoon to play about outside.

Sirius looked down and rolled his eyes before crouching down and finishing the ties for his brother with his glove free hands. He then grabbed his own Gryffindor scarf out of his cloak pocket, wrapped it around his neck and the two boys headed out into the uncommon London snow.

“Race you to the garden?” Sirius asked.

“Five second head start,” Regulus replied.

“No, three! Your legs are longer than when I last saw you!” Sirius argued.

“Five! You grew too!”

“Fine,” Sirius added in exasperation and before Regulus could say any more he started counting out loud: “Five! Four! Three!”

It took Regulus until “Four!” before he realized his brother had started the counting and he dashed off towards the white covered and crystallized playground. Sirius rushed past his brother just before Regulus reached the swing; the same one that they always used for the finish.

Out of breath, he pushed his brother with a smile. “I’m still faster.”

Regulus sulked for only a moment before brushing the fresh fallen snow off the swing and hopping up onto it.

“You’ll freeze your bum off, you will,” Sirius remarked.

“It’s not that cold.” Regulus lifted his chin in answer.

Sirius wandered around the posts of the swing-set, hanging off sideways and kicking a leg over to climb it. Halfway up he teased, “You’ll come to Hogwarts and people will say, ‘Look, there’s Sirius Black’s little brother, the one with no bum.’”

“No,” Regulus giggled, “They’ll say, ‘There’s Regulus Black, the smart and handsome Black.”

“Oi!” Sirius tackled Regulus off the swing and with an “oomph” they fell on top of each other. They wrestled in the snow; writhing and wiggling like two lunatics. This sort of behavior would never be tolerated inside Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, so when the opportunities to let loose one’s pent up energy came, they were gladly welcomed, no matter what the surroundings.

The snow was too light and fluffy for snowballs so Sirius had to be content with stuffing a handful of the white stuff down Regulus’s trousers.

“No fair!” Regulus screeched and he wormed his way from his brother’s grip.

Sirius grabbed him and pulled him back, and they wrestled a bit more until Regulus was out of breath. He gave a little squeak as snow reached places on his body it never was intended to go.

“Shhh!” Sirius said suddenly.

Regulus stopped, still breathing heavily.

“Did you hear that?” Sirius whispered breathlessly. His eyes were wide and he went very still, listening…

“What do you hear?” Regulus whispered.

Sirius shushed him again and held his hand up. The garden was completely empty as were the streets up to Grimmauld Circle. The only sounds were that of a cold, winter day as the light wind blew gently through the trees, lightly rustling the bare limbs together.

There it was…like a soft whimper.

“Did you hear it?” Sirius asked.

Regulus nodded, eyes wide with wonderment.

They both scrambled up, Sirius holding his hand out to keep Regulus behind him. They slowly crept up towards the bushes where the sound came from. Sirius crouched down. He could feel Regulus’s hot breath at his ear, and carefully and gently spread the thick brush apart to peer in.

A small dog with dirty, matted dark fur looked back up at the two boys and whined pitifully.

“A puppy!” Regulus gasped.

“Shhh, you’ll scare it.” Sirius whispered.

Regulus swatted Sirius on top of the head and whispered heatedly, “I told you I had been hearing things in the garden!”

“Ow! No need to clobber me!” Sirius hissed as he rubbed his head, messing his hair in the process.

Regulus pushed around his brother so that Sirius fell over from his unsteady crouch. He then settled in front of the bush on his knees and started talking gently and sweetly to the puppy.

“Hi, girl.” He held out his hand so she could sniff it. “How are you, little one? Hello. Shhh, we won’t hurt you. Come here…”

Sirius lay back, propped up on his elbows and watched as his brother lured the puppy out of the bush. He smiled when Regulus beamed with pride at his success when he stood holding the small dog in his arms.

“I bet she’s hungry,” Regulus said thoughtfully as he stroked the puppy’s ears.

“We should get her something to eat,” Sirius said as he lifted himself up.

“I bet she’s cold too,” Regulus wrapped her up in his arms and she licked at the hand he was petting her with.

“Yeah.” Sirius dusted off his bum then reached out and scritched the dog’s ears. “She’s friendly, innit?”

“Yeah.” Regulus grinned. His face fell suddenly into a pout. “Wish we could keep her.”

The one thing that Sirius knew his brother had always wanted was a dog. From the time he was old enough to talk it’d been all he ever talked about until a few years ago when he was old enough to realize that his constant begging and whining would get nowhere with their parents. There was no way their mother would allow an animal in her father’s ancient house. Sirius once argued to let Regulus have a dog because Kreacher was worse than any animal or dog Regulus could keep as a pet, but that had earned him nothing but a swift smack about his head for his cheek.

“Perhaps we can…” Sirius cocked an eyebrow in thought.

“How?” Regulus asked, then smiled slightly as he sensed his brother’s sudden brainstorming.

“I know a few spells now, silencing spells, and we can sneak her in and keep her in my room. I’ve got a spot by the window seat, the floor boards come up, we could make a bed for her in there. I could Scourgify it every day, it’s a simple enough spell,” Sirius said with a casual arrogance as if he’d been doing magic for years. “I think we could do it!” He smiled excitedly.

“Are you allowed to do magic outside of school though?”

“Sure. I mean, if I lived with Muggles then the magic would be spotted by the Ministry, but they can’t tell who’s doing the magic, they will just think it’s mother or father.”

The two started back up towards Number Twelve.

“Let’s name her Snuffles,” Regulus suggested.

“Snuffles?” Sirius asked appalled. “That’s the dumbest name I’ve ever heard,” Sirius scoffed as they walked side by side. He reached over and scritched the dog’s head again.

Regulus’ face fell into a pout. “Nothing wrong with that name. She sniffs and snuffles me. Look!” Regulus giggled as the puppy nuzzled the scarf around his neck and licked his face and nose.

“No,” Sirius said, “If I’m going through all this trouble of keeping her, we are not naming her Snuffles.”

Regulus sighed, “Fine. You name her then.”

“Alright,” Sirius grinned wickedly. “I have the perfect name.”

Regulus gave him a perplexed look but didn’t question him as they approached the door of Number Twelve. Sirius removed his wand from his back pocket of his trousers. Since receiving it, he never left without it. He pointed it at the puppy and muttered, “Patrificus Totalus”.

Regulus gasped as the puppy went rigid in his arms, “Sirius! What did you do!”

“It’s alright, she’ll be fine.” He took the stiff puppy from Regulus and stuffed it under his arm under his warm winter cloak, straightened his scarf once again, then with one last look and grin at Regulus, waved his hand in front of the serpent knocker. The door unlocked and they went inside. Hoping to sneak quickly up to his room, the two boys stiffened instantly when their mother called out.

“What are you doing bringing that vile thing into my house!”

Bugger. How could she possibly know?

Sirius glanced quickly at Regulus and found the boy’s face rigid with horror before he looked up into the eyes of his mother as she crossed the foyer to her two sons.

“I’m sorry, Mother? I don’t understand.” Sirius asked innocently, willing to play it dumb until he knew the game was up.

“You will not wear that in my house! I will not be reminded of that Mudblood lover, a traitor to his own kind. You may have to live in his house while at school but you will not parade around my house with that filth’s colours around your neck! Remove that scarf at once!”

Dumbstruck, Sirius looked down at his Gryffindor scarf around his neck. Before he could remove it his mother pointed her wand at him. He flinched as she blasted it off him, smoke billowing around his head and he coughed. She gave a small smile and retreated to the front sitting room, calling lazily behind her, “Your cousins will be arriving soon. You will go and wash and dress properly so you are ready.”


*~*~*~*


“She’s adorable!” Andromeda squeaked as she nuzzled the puppy. The three of them, Andromeda, Sirius, and Regulus sat on the floor of his bedroom playing with the boys’ new secret pet. “What did you name her?”

Regulus shot Sirius a worried look, unwilling to answer, but a cheeky grin spread so wide across Sirius’s face that Andromeda had to ask.

“Sirius…what are you up to?”

Sirius snorted out a laugh and said, “Trixie”.

“What? Who’s Trixie? Are you talking about Bellatrix?”

“Not really.” Regulus played with the cuff on his trousers and eyed Andromeda through his fringe while Sirius snickered, and answered his cousin shyly.

“Sirius named the puppy Trixie after Bella.”

“You named the dog after my sister?” She laughed. “You’re going to be at the business end of another hex if she finds out.”

“She won’t find out,” Sirius said quickly. “Will she?” And he shot another look at Regulus.

“I’m not going to tell her!” Regulus shook his head, eyes wide in fear.

“Besides, she can’t know. She’ll run straight to mother,” Sirius finished.

“Right,” both Regulus and Andromeda nodded.

Too soon, Narcissa was knocking on the bedroom door calling them all down for dinner. It was customary for the Black family members to gather on the eve of Yule for a lavish dinner and celebration. The boys were once again dressed in their very best; Sirius had moved up to being allowed to wear his best robes while Regulus was still clad in his Fauntleroy suite.

They ate in the formal dining room, which was large enough to accommodate the extended family. Sirius was lucky enough to sit between Regulus and Andromeda. The meal went off without much commotion; although, his grandmother berated Sirius at the table once again for his apparent lack of Black Family pride for being sorted into Gryffindor. Sirius however was really getting rather used to the scolding and took it in stride, nodding like a good lad.

His uncle took him aside after dinner and reminded him that he was the oldest Black male, and therefore the duty to carry on the family name was in his hands. This made Sirius cringe a bit, being eleven, when his uncle started talking about children and going into too much detail as to how Sirius should have as many children as possible, males, strong and proud to carry on the name, and tips on spells that would help produce males when babies are conceived. Luckily, Andromeda came around and got him away, just not soon enough to keep Sirius from getting a little light headed and queasy from all the vivid images his uncle had conjured.

Gifts were opened and it was the usual, this year Sirius received a leather bound biography of Salazar Slytherin…which was better than what he had expected, although it wasn’t very appealing. He politely thanked his mother and father but soon tossed the book aside �“ wondering to himself what fantastic haul James was probably making at his own home in Devonshire.


~*~*~*~


Sirius was awoken early the morning of December 25th by his brother bouncing on him and his bed, repeatedly.

“Geroff!” Sirius shoved.

“Sirius! Wake up! You need to see this!”

Sirius growled, “Just feed her and get out of my room.” His head was pounding and he felt as though he had fallen off his broom, he ached all over. Perhaps Ana had slipped him a bit too much port �“ which she’d pinched from the cellar after the gifts were opened. In any case, he wasn’t in a mood to see any new trick Regulus had taught the dog.

“I already fed Trixie.” To prove it he let the puppy crawl up and lick at Sirius’s nose. “C’mon!” Regulus begged. “There are presents on your bed!”

“Wha…?” Sirius cocked his head up and squinted, rubbing the wet splotches Trixie’s tongue had left on his face. He slowly focused on Regulus’s face, eyes round, excitement written all over it.

“Sirius, why did you get more pressies and not me?” he pouted. “Who are they from?”

Hair askew and eyes still blurry from alcohol induced sleep, Sirius sat up cautiously as Regulus shoved a parcel onto his lap.

“Open it!” Regulus urged as he scritched Trixie’s ears.

“Not so bloody loud!” Sirius thumped him.

“Ow…” Regulus scowled and rubbed his arm. He was too busy eyeing the carefully wrapped parcel in his brother’s lap.

“There’s a letter!”

“I can see that,” Sirius said as he began opening the envelope. He was waking slowly but was also getting excited himself. Why had he gotten more gifts? He got his Slytherin biography last night at the family Yule celebration. Had his mother and father rethought the sorting and felt bad since his grades had been so good and Slughorn adored him? Maybe these were to make up for their punishment?

He flipped the first letter open, scanned it quickly for a signature and gasped.

“Remus?”

A split second of disappointment; these were not from his parents.

The disappointment was quickly replaced by amazement that one of his dorm mates had thought of him. He’d never had a friend give him things before.

“Your mate?”

“Yeah…” Sirius sat up a bit and scratched at his head. He’d never even thought of sending his new friends something for the holiday. The idea had never crossed his mind. Three packages, this must have meant that the other two were from Peter and Potter.

Sirius read Remus’s letter aloud.

Sirius,
Happy Christmas! I was talking to James before you got in the compartment on the train and he said you don’t receive many sweets at holiday. I’m afraid I’m not very good at buying gifts so I thought my mum’s baking would be a good replacement. She’s been baking like a mad woman since I got home (and no, she’s not really mental, I swear!). She says she needs to fatten me up. I thought you would enjoy some Christmas Pudding and one of her pies since you wouldn’t have any of your own. Share them with your brother (if you want to). I can’t wait to get back to Hogwarts. It’s so quiet here without you, and James and Peter.
Have a good holiday!
Remus J. Lupin

“Pudding!” Regulus yelped with glee as he started ripping at the brown paper before Sirius could even start it himself.

“And a pie,” Sirius smiled, holding it up as Trixie poked her nose at it. “Smells fantastic, doesn’t it?”

“I’m hungry! Can we eat it when we’re done?” Regulus asked as he grabbed for another parcel while Sirius sat the baked goods on his bedside table.

“Sure,” Sirius smiled.

“Open this one next!” Regulus laid a colorfully yet sloppily wrapped box on his lap. Sirius licked some sugary syrup from the pie off his finger before unfolding the next letter.

Sirius,
Happy Christmas! Me and James snuck into the 3rd Years dorms and nicked these Dungbombs a few days before end of term. Thought you could use them on that nasty cousin if she comes to visit for the holiday. I told my mum about all of you and she wants to meet you. My sister does too. Happy Christmas, oh bugger I already said that.
Peter

Regulus’s eyes and mouth formed perfect “O’s” before he smiled at the prospect of getting Bellatrix with something called a Dungbomb.

Sirius laughed. “If I use these here�”” he leaned over and pulled open his bedside drawer and dumped the bombs inside “�”Mother would kill me before Bella ever got the chance!”

Regulus set Trixie down and crawled to the foot of the bed to retrieve the last present. She jumped and played in the discarded wrapping paper on the bed. Sirius rolled a bit of it to see if he could get her to tug with him. She did. He and Regulus laughed as he let go and she rolled over backwards from sheer momentum. Regulus handed the last parcel to Sirius and sat back on his feet, hands on his legs, nearly bouncing with glee.

“I wonder what’s in this one?” he asked.

“If it’s from Potter, it could be anything!” Sirius smirked. He wondered if his mischievous friend sent a huge Dungbomb to end all Dungbombs. What else had he pinched from the third year’s dorm? It would most likely be something loud, smelly, and completely obnoxious if it was from James Potter, and Sirius was sure he would love it.

He opened the box first this time, ignoring the letter, but stopped his hands just before he reached the item inside. He looked up at Regulus and his brother’s face mirrored his own.

“Is that a...” Regulus breathed.

“Yeah…” Sirius answered in shock.

He ripped open the letter and read.

Sirius,
Merry Christmas or Happy Yule or whatever you Blacks say. I was talking with my mum and asked if she thought it’d be alright if I sent you my old camera. It’s a couple years old, I got it when I was nine, the shutter sticks sometimes but it still takes good wizarding pictures. Thought you might like it anyways. Hope you don’t think it’s barmy but I thought it’d be better than getting one of your uncle’s old socks or some rubbish like that. Anyway, Merry Christmas and tell your brother I said hello from Devonshire.
Your mate, James


*~*~*~*

Sirius and Regulus spent most of that day locked up in Sirius’s bedroom playing with Trixie. They took turns playing with the puppy and snapping pictures of each other. The magical photos depicted Sirius lying on his stomach on the wooden floor with one end of a clean sock stuffed in his mouth as Trixie tugged at the other end, while they both growled playfully at each other. Another showed Regulus bouncing a ball that Sirius had transfigured from a candlestick and clapping and smiling widely like a goofy git as Trixie retrieved it and brought it back to him. Sirius had never remembered having so much fun at home with his brother and the belly laughs that Regulus emitted reminded him of he and his new mates at school.

Sirius would definitely have to make it up to James for the present, and to Remus and Peter too for their thoughtfulness. He felt a bit of what he thought must be guilt for not even thinking to send them anything for the holidays, but that just wasn’t how his mind worked.

When the boys were called down for dinner that evening, Mrs. Black even commented on how nice it was to have both her boys smiling and happy and for the four family members to once again be all together. His father even offered Sirius a small glass of port for after dinner toasts, and Sirius smiled since Regulus was only allowed pumpkin juice.

“To family and to blood.” Orion Black offered.

Sirius felt a now-familiar twist in his stomach before he lifted his glass and repeated with the rest of them, “To family and to blood.”


*~*~*~*


The next day, Mr. Black left town for business. It was back to business as usual for the rest of them as the holidays were coming to an end. Sirius was due back to Hogwarts in a few days.

They returned to Number Twelve with their mother that afternoon after spending what seemed like an eternity at the cousins’; where Bellatrix had been keen on telling Sirius that she’d overheard their fathers talking that he and Narcissa were betrothed in order to keep the bloodlines pure, since so many pure bloods were shaming their race and marrying Mudbloods. Sirius had scoffed at her ludicrous story, but secretly feared there was some possible truth to it.

As soon as they got home, the boys ran up the steps, nearly tripping over each other to reach the bedroom first. Once inside they ran to the window seat and lifted back the cover to let Trixie out and roam free in the bedroom for a while. They had made a nice little niche for her, using one of Sirius’s green bed pillows, Regulus’s old blue baby blanket, and the few little toys Sirius had transfigured for her.

But she wasn’t there.

Sirius heard Regulus’s intake of breath, “Where is she!”

“Maybe she got out,” Sirius said calmly. “She likes to curl up under my bed.”

Regulus quickly got on his hands and knees and peeked under the bed and called for her. Sirius wandered around, checked behind his wardrobe, school trunk, headboard but there was no sign of her.

From outside the bedroom door, the boys heard a loud voice call out “Alohomora!”

Sirius’s bedroom door blasted open and their mother stood in the doorway with an evil grin and the hint of satisfaction on her face.

Sirius couldn’t take his eyes off his mother’s face but he saw Regulus peer over at him out of the corner of his eye. Mrs. Black slowly removed a glove from her long fingered hand as she surveyed both her sons before focusing on Sirius.

“You won’t find it,” she said coldly.

Sirius couldn’t say a word. He was frozen. What did she mean? Did she know about Trixie? How could she know? What had she done?

“That filthy mutt is dead. I had Kreacher drown it this afternoon.”

Sirius heard Regulus gasp but the boy didn’t say a word.

“What?” Sirius asked, stunned, all the air in his lungs leaving him at once.

“Kreacher drowned it for me while we were out this afternoon.” She walked into the room and towards Sirius. “I told him to make sure when I got back that that unfortunate, flea-infested creature was no longer taking up residence in my house.”

Sirius could hear a slowly developing, strangled sob coming from his brother but he couldn’t make himself look at Regulus. He was focused on his mother as she walked slowly towards him. She was a tall woman and Sirius was still nearly a foot shorter than her. She was now so close and he could see the tiny lines under her grey eyes and feel her breath on his face.

He should have expected it, but he was in a state of shock and stunned frozen by her revelation of killing the puppy. The blow came across his face so fast and so hard that he felt his lip split and heard his nose crack as his head whipped sideways. He fell to the floor in a heap as his mother looked over at Regulus.

“This is what happens when I am deliberately disobeyed.”

Regulus swallowed down a sob, sniffed, then choked out a quiet, broken, “Yes mother.”

Letter from Sirius Black to Regulus Black

12 April 1972



Regulus A. Bumhole,



Stop moaning in your letters or I’ll stop writing back. And then you will be even MORE bored.



Your favorite brother,

Sirius





Letter from Regulus Black to Sirius Black

13 April 1972



Sirius O. Buttface,



I know you told me to stop moaning about it in my letters but I can’t help it. I can’t wait to go to Hogwarts next year. Sometimes I think about it and I get so excited I feel like I could wet myself. And I’m not having those problems at night anymore and I already told you I was sorry for letting it happen in your bed. I wish I were at Hogwarts now. I hate it here all by myself. I overheard Mother telling Gran that if I don’t get sorted into Slytherin she’ll hex my head off and have Kreacher mount it on the wall next to his relatives. I don’t think I’d like that much. Do you think she really would?



Narsissa wrote me a letter and sent me some sweets called shock-pops. You never send me sweets. Remember those lollys lollies that father brought back from Skand Scande Scandinavia when I was six? They were that bad! I thought my cheeks were going to explode they were that sour! I told her to send me more!



Do you think Bellatrix was telling the truth at Yule? I guess there are worse cousins they could choose for you than Cissy. Sirius and Cissy sitting in a tree! I’ll probably get stuck marrying some toad-faced cousin who’s centuries older than me. I hate being the youngest. You always get all the good stuff and I get the leftovers.



I wish you were home. It’s so boring here. I know you told me to stay out but I went in your bedroom last night. I found your comics. Why didn’t you ever share them? You always hide things from me. You are such a git sometimes. Anyway I was on the floor reading them and found a photo lying under your bed. I think you look funny in it, like a bit of an idiot, (you do realize you look like a girl with your hair that shaggy) and thought James or your other mates might get a laugh and Trixie was in the photo so I didn’t want to keep it. Besides, mother would destroy it if she found it here like she did the others.



Mother reads from this book to me “Nature’s Nobility �“ A Wizarding Geneology” every night after dinner. Every night, Sirius! Is it possible for someone to die of boredom? I think I might. Write me soon. Please?



R.A.B.

R. A. Black

Regulus Arctu



Regulus A. Black, Esquire



PS �“ Is Esquire only for Mudbloo Muggleborns?





Fading Into Grey

Chapter 7 - April 1972





"Oi, Red!"



The small, freckle-faced girl whipped her head around from the table she and her friend Violet were working at.



"Stop it, Black!" she yelled, her cheeks flushing a sort of tomato red.



Sirius reached behind her and tugged again at the dark red plait at the back of her head.



"Leave me alone!" she shouted.



James plopped down on the bench next to Violet and snatched up her satchel and started rummaging through it.



"So you got any more of those Goblin Gobstoppers in here?"



"Potter, give that back!"



The girl grabbed for her bag but James tossed it over across the table to Sirius and Sirius held it up out of her reach.



"C'mon Violet, didn't your mum teach you to share?" taunted Sirius.



"Black, give that back!" the red head demanded.



Sirius laughed, "Why? What you gonna do if I don’t?"



The petite red head stood up, took a moment to smooth the front of her skirt, eyebrows furrowed with determination, she swung her leg with so much force so it collided with Sirius's shin. Sirius dropped the handbag and yelped in pain.



The girls gathered their homework and stalked off, smirking as they looked back at a bruised Black and a stunned Potter.



"What a wicked little witch," James mumbled, his eyes following Lily Evans and Violet Waters.



"Wicked little Muggle," Sirius pouted, rubbing his sore shin. "Least she could have done is hex me."



He slumped down on the table bench, watching the girls leave. Lily Evans was a pretty girl. Sirius liked her dark red hair. He'd never seen anyone with hair that color. She was pretty and petite with emerald green eyes, and a cute little turned up nose covered in freckles that spread across her rosy cheeks. He felt a strange jolt in his stomach as he watched her walk up the steps. When the girls disappeared out of sight, he turned to look at James who was staring back at him with an odd look on his face.



"What's wrong with you?" James asked, his face scrunched in confusion.



"Huh?”



"You look like...well, I dunno. Like you swallowed a slug. You've got this stupid look on your face."



"Oh…nothing,” Sirius lied. “ My shin hurts is all. That was a wicked kick."



There was no way on Merlin’s green earth that Sirius would ever tell James, or anyone for that matter, that he might possibly fancy a stupid girl.



Girls were not on. Girls were at school for one purpose, for the boys to annoy. Sirius and his three friends were forming an alliance, a Boy’s Club if you will, and girls were not included. Liking a girl or even getting caught talking to a girl when in the Boy’s Club could and most likely would result in heckling, random hexes, itching powder in your bed, or even beetles in your soup at dinner, or something of the like. Sirius knows all this because he and James created the Boy’s Club rules.



No. Sirius would not be the first to fall victim to the Boy’s Club consequences.



"Oh," James said, and left it at that.



It was getting late, the sun had almost completely set, and there were only a few students left littering the Gryffindor common room, but enough that the more comfortable seats were taken. Some seventh years were sitting in the over stuffed chairs by the fireplace, leaving the boys sitting at the homework table the girls had vacated.



"Stupid gits," Sirius grumbled, glaring over at them. "They always hog those chairs."



"Yeah," James agreed.



"Can't wait until we're in 7th Year," Sirius said.



"Yeah," James agreed.



"We'll rule this school!" Sirius added.



"Yeah!" James agreed, pumping his fist in the air with enthusiasm.



Sirius, out of boredom, took out his wand and started levitating an empty ink well the girls had left behind on the table.



"Let's take our broomsticks out for a race?" James suggested.



"Nah," Sirius sighed, holding his head in his hand as he lazily let the ink well

drift back and forth across the table.



"Because you know I'll beat you again," James taunted.



"Shove it, Potter," Sirius rolled his eyes.



“C’mon, I’m bored,” James whined. “We can sneak out under my cloak.”



"You know Hooch said she’d boot us out of Flying Class if we got caught out of bounds again."



"I don’t care if we get booted, I already know how to fly,” James boasted.



Sirius had to smile as he was reminded of his brother saying almost the same exact thing. He wondered for a minute how Regulus was and if he was enduring another long winded reading from “Nature’s Nobility �“ A Wizarding Genealogy”.



Poor Sod.



“True, but mum’s already angry with me. I don’t fancy another Howler anytime soon.”



James sighed, “Whatever you say, Black. I know you’re just afraid I'll win again."



Sirius snorted a laugh and directed the ink well to collide with the side of James’ head.



"Git!" James batted it away then started in on his never ending ramble of Quidditch statistics while Sirius mimicked someone who was actually listening. James had just hit his stride when Peter walked into the common room.



“What in the name of Merlin!” James exclaimed.



“Bloody hell! What happened to you?” Sirius asked waving a hand in front of his nose as a putrid stench hit him.



“I was walking!” Peter grumbled, reaching the table as inconspicuously as is possible when squelching in sludge covered shoes. A few of the other students turned to see what the commotion was.



“And…?” James inquired.



“Walking and minding my own business when his cousin hexed me,” Peter answered, pointing at Sirius.



“Let me guess…” Sirius tapped his chin in mock thought. “Bellatrix perhaps?”



“Yes!” Peter huffed.



“Why this time?” James asked.



Sirius stage whispered, “Because she’s a nasty hag who gets off torturing first years.”



James shrugged nonchalantly in agreement.



“What spell did she use? You stink!” James pulled a face.



“More so than usual,” Sirius added good-naturedly with a bright smile.



Peter’s face fell into a frown, “I don’t know. All I heard was this group of Slytherin girls laughing and then bam! I’m covered in brown goo.”



James scrunched his nose, “You need to wash up.”



“I’m going,” Peter sighed, turning to head toward the boy’s staircase. He stopped mid turn and asked, “Where’s Remus? I was hoping he’d help me with my Defense Against the Dark Arts essay.”



“He went to see Madam Pomfrey,” James answered.



“He said he was feeling ill,” Sirius added. He was still making the ink well hover dangerously close to James’ head as James swatted at it like an annoying fly.



“Again?” Peter asked.



“Yeah. Weird, innit?” James added.



“His family is full of sick people,” Sirius said, frowning as James swiped the ink well out of the air then took control with his own wand, making it whiz across the room.



“Seems that way. Who’s it all been now, his mother, his father,” Peter ticked them off on his fingers. “Didn’t his auntie have something last month?”



“Yeah, and just weeks before that Remus had that weird bout of pox again,” James said.



“I still say it’s because he’s a Muggleborn,” Sirius muttered. “Ouch!” James directed the ink well to conk Sirius in the forehead.



Sirius leaped up and pounded James on the arm.



“Ow! Sirius!”



“Oh, sorry, my hand slipped,” Sirius explained, adopting the most innocent of faces.



James pushed Sirius back down and massaged his own arm, “You know, if Remus ends up staying in the hospital wing tonight, we could visit him after hours.”



“Brilliant idea,” Sirius nodded, lunging forward suddenly to snatch the floating ink well out of the air.



“Yea…ok,” Peter agreed with a shrug.



“Just…ok?” James asked Peter with raised eyebrows.



“It’s just sneaking out of the dorms, after hours, if we got caught…”



“We won’t get caught,” Sirius answered, laying a confident hand on Peter’s shoulder.



“I remember you saying something similar at Halloween,” Peter added reluctantly.



“Pish,” Sirius shrugged as he fell back onto his seat.



“C’mon, Pete,” James begged. “It’s not the same if we don’t all go. Besides, we could sneak Remus some chocolate frogs again, they always seem to help his mood.”



“C’mon, Petey,” Sirius cooed, his face breaking out in a wicked smile.



Peter pulled a reluctant face at Sirius’s but gave in, “Alright, but I’m going to go bathe first.”



“I was hoping you’d say that,” Sirius grinned.





*~*~*~*





The path from Gryffindor tower to the hospital wing was a long one by day. At night, when one was not to be out of bed it was laden with many obstacles: ghosts, older students, prefects roaming the halls, professors, or even the headmaster, or worst of all, the caretaker and his mangy old cat. Put three eleven year olds huddled under one invisibility cloak sneaking their way through the corridors, and it was a nearly impossible maneuver.



“Ouch, that’s my foot!” James croaked.



“Sorry,” Peter said.



“Just keep walking, Pete!” James prodded Peter in the back before letting out a gigantic sneeze.



“Ah-ah-ah-choo!”



“Ugh, Potter!” Sirius said.



“Sorry! Your hair is ticklish.”



“Ugh. That’s sick,” Sirius complained wiping snot off the back of his head.



“Shh!” Peter hissed. “We’re going to get caught!”



“We’re fine, Peter,” Sirius said. “We’re almost there anyway.”



“We still have to get in though,” Peter adds.



Sirius stops abruptly causing James to bump unceremoniously into him.



“Ouch! Sirius!”



“Shh! How are we going to know if Madam Pomfrey is in there with Remus when we walk through the door?” Sirius pondered.



“We can’t very well just open the door, can we? If she’s in there she’ll wonder how it opened on it’s own accord,” James added.



“Why didn’t you two think of this before we left?” Peter asked incredulously and a tad frantic.



“It’s to late, she won’t be up,” Sirius offered.



“True. Just go!”



James nudged Peter and once again he led the way. Once in place, all three of them pressed their ears to large wooden doors, they stood there for a moment, looked down each end of the corridor. Peter reached out to the door.



“Open it!” Sirius hissed.



“It’s locked,” Peter moaned.



“Merlin’s sake, Peter, are you a wizard or not?” James said as he shoved the smaller boy aside, tapped the door with his wand and whispered, “Alohamora.”



The door creaked open and the boys stepped inside the giant room. Luckily there was no sign of Madam Pomfrey and any students who might be occupying a bed, would most likely be fast asleep at this late hour. They cautiously pulled off the invisibility cloak.



“Lumos,” James and Sirius whispered almost simultaneously.



“We should scare him if he’s sleeping,” Sirius giggled.



“He wasn’t feeling well, you git,” James reminded him.



The boys quietly crept around the large hospital room. There were dozens of beds lined up on opposite walls.



“I don’t think he’s here,” Peter said with one quick look around the room.



“We haven’t checked all the beds. C’mon!” Sirius pulled Peter by the sleeve.



“Remus,” James whispered.



“Remus,” Sirius called quietly.



The boys checked every bed in the infirmary but there was no sign of their mate. There was no sign of anyone.



“What the hell?” Sirius asked.



“He’s not here,” James said as he scratched his head and pushed the bridge of his glasses up the nose.



“I don’t like this, let’s go back,” Peter started towards the door.



“Just hold up, Peter.”



“Well why isn’t he here? This is where he said he was going.”



“Maybe he felt better and Pomfrey let him go back to the dorm?” James suggested.



“True,” Sirius said.



“I don’t know,” Peter said. “Wouldn’t we have seen him if he went back?”



“He might have walked back while we were sneaking out, and we could have missed him. The castle’s big enough.” Sirius answered.



“Ok men,” James sighed. “Mission unsuccessful but complete. Let’s head back.”



With a combined “Nox” both wands went out and the boys climbed back underneath the cloak to head back to the dorms.



Once out in the corridor it seemed pretty simple from here. All they had to do was make it back to the dorm. Things were going fairly smooth and they had gotten nearly half way back when out of the blue, Mrs. Norris, the caretaker’s cat, who could appear out of nowhere, turned the corner towards them and they were forced to duck quickly into the library.



They clumsily weaved thru the many walls and piles of books and settled themselves, although scrunched together, in a well-hidden corner. All three boys were out of breath.



“Shh!”



“Ouch!”



”Shh!”



“I hear someone,” James said.



“Me too. Is it Filch?” Peter asked.



“Shh! I’m trying to listen!” Sirius mumbled.



“Be quiet!”



There were odd noises coming from the opposite side of the giant bookshelf, then two muffled voices, one girl, one boy…



…



“I heard something…”



“I didn’t hear anything.”



“Are you sure?”



“Yes, there’s no one, just kiss me.”



…



There was a moment of silence then the odd noises started up again.



“Who is that?” Peter asked.



Sirius and James both shrugged, fish mouthed and surprised by what they had stumbled upon. The silliness of the situation impacted them within seconds as they found the humor in their predicament; unexpectedly stumbling upon an as of yet unidentified male and female upperclassmen snogging fiercely.



“Stop laughing,” Peter giggled.



“I can’t help it,” James whispered, his breathe hot on the back of Sirius’ neck. “I hear slurping.”



Sirius covered his mouth to muffle his own laughter.



“Who is it?” James asked Sirius. “I can’t see a thing past your great bloody head.”



Sirius elbowed James in the gut, “They’re on the other side you idiot. I can’t see anything either, but they’re really going at it.”



“Helena Roberts would love to do that with you, Sirius,” Peter snickered.



“Shut ya gob,” Sirius blushed.



“How many Valentine’s did she send you?” James teased. “I thought the flying hearts were brilliant.”



“They didn’t impress me at all,” Sirius added haughtily. “She’s in third year, hovering charms are easy for first years…”



“Shh!”



“You shh!



“Both of you be quiet!”



More snogging and slurping noises, becoming much more defined and audible, were coming from the opposite side of the bookcase, which happened to be part of the library’s Restricted Section. Mumbled words could barely be heard, the young lover’s voices low and raspy.



“Shh, they’re talking…”



…



“But, I love you.”



“You don’t know that.”



“I do.”



“But my family…they’d never accept it.”



“I don’t care, I love you.”



…



“Ugh! It’s like an episode of Madeline the Merry Muggle.” James whispered.



“What?” Sirius asked.



“Wizarding wireless, barmy program my mum listens to,” James answered. It’s a drama about a Muggle woman who...”



“Shh,” Sirius interrupted, lifting his finger to his mouth to once again silence James.



…



“Andy, I love you.”



“I love you too.”



…





“Do you know any blokes called Andy?” James whispered.



“No,” Sirius shook his head.



Odd noises, more strange than before came from the other side of the bookcase. Moaning, the girl let out a breathy sigh, the boy was whispering sweet words and then a zip and soon it sounded almost as if the table was wobbling…



“James…” Sirius said slowly, turning to look at his friend. “Do you…uh…suppose they are…?”



James nodded mechanically, a horrified realization washing over both boys.



“In the…library?” Sirius asked, eyebrows shooting up under his fringe.



James shrugged, wide eyed as saucers.



“What’s going on?” Peter asked stupidly.



“Shh!”



A deep male voice called out loudly from the other side of the bookcase. They’d been heard. He commanded,



…





“Who’s there?”



…



There was an almost comical pause before Sirius suggested ever so lightly, “Perhaps we should…go?”



The boys whipped off the cloak and in a flash of black robes, all three of them bolted out of the library doors, banging them open unceremoniously. They came rushing out and his haste, Sirius ran head first into someone. Conking heads with the poor unsuspecting student and the two fell to the ground.



“Ugh,” The boy moaned, a heap of black robes on the stone floor.



“Oh, sorry!” James said quickly. “You alright, mate?”



“Watch where you’re bloody well going.” Sirius grumbled as he sat up putting a hand to his temple, he could feel a welt growing beneath his hand. He gingerly stood up and dusted off his trousers then looked down at the other boy then said with disgust. “Ugh, a Slytherin. Now I’m contaminated.”



The other boy rolled over, slowly returning to his feet and swept a lock of dark, greasy hair from his pale face.



“It’s you!” James pointed. “I know you; you’re the creepy little Slytherin with all the dark spells!”



The boy instantly pulled out his wand and pointed it at James; which resulted in all three of the Gryffindor boys doing the same.



“Don’t even try it,” James warned.



“What is that?” Severus Snape instantly noticed James holding the cloak.



“What is what?” James asked.



“You’re holding,” Severus pointed. “You’re arm has disappeared!”



James flipped the cloak inside out and tucked the cloak behind his back.



“It’s nothing, Slytherin and none of your business at that,” James retorted.



“You’ve got an invisibility cloak,” Severus said his eyes going wide.



“What of it?” Sirius stepped forward so his face was in the other boy’s.



“I’m going to tell the Headmaster, that’s what of it,” Severus pushed at Sirius’s chest.



“Get your filthy hands off me, Slytherin!” Sirius yelled.



Severus Snape’s eyes darted from each boy, fully aware that he was outnumbered.



“What are you going to do?” Sirius taunted. “Hex all three of us at the same time?”



The Slytherin took one last time to look at each boy then with determination he turned his full attention on Sirius and before Sirius could react there was a loud meow that echoed down the long corridor then a scathing voice that growled out.



“I caught you!”





~*~*~*~





The boys trudged up the staircase to their dorm after returning from the headmaster’s office.



“Oh noooo, Peter, we won’t get caught,” Peter mimicked Sirius’s earlier declarations.



“Shut up,” Sirius grumbled.



“Detention,” Peter whined. “My mum’s gonna kill me.”



“Old Phineus took no time at all vanishing back home from his portrait on the headmaster’s wall. I hate that he can do that,” Sirius grumbled. “I’m sure my mum’s conjuring the howler as we speak.”



“Cleaning Slytherin toilets, again,” James moaned. “Couldn’t old Dumbledore think of anything more original?”



“I think Filch wanted to feed us to a troll. Thank Merlin for the headmaster, eh?” Sirius tried.



“I hate going down to the dungeons, it’s creepy down there,” Peter added.



“I say we go pile up on Remus, as it’s his fault we went out in the first place,” Sirius suggested.



“Well the git must be feeling better since he’s back, so he’s game,” James answered with a start of a grin.



“Race you?” Sirius asked, quirking an eyebrow at James.



The two raced up the remaining stairs. Sirius reached the door first and swung it open quickly so it banged against the wall, hoping to wake Remus from his cozy, silent slumber.



“Alright, Lupin, wake up!” Sirius hollered rushing Remus’s bed.



“Remus Lupin you limp todger!” James yelled.



The boys rushed the room stopping almost comically in front of Remus’s empty bed.



Empty.



Bed.



Out of breath, Sirius turned his confused face to James and said exactly what James was thinking…



“What the hell?”











Letter from Sirius Black to Regulus Black

20 April 1972





Regulus A. Black, E-stupid



Yes, it’s very possible for one to die of boredom. In fact, we had two students keel over in Professor Binn’s History of Magic class. It’s like risking your life entering that classroom. I’ve tried to tell Professor McGonagall that we should be excused due to the risk, but she won’t hear of it. She’s funny like that. I like the old bat tho, she seems to like me and James even though we tend to cause her gray hairs…or so she says we do.



James asked me, Remus, and Peter to come to Devonshire for a few days this summer. I haven’t gotten permission from mother or father yet, because I haven’t asked. Maybe you could come too, only if you promise not to act like an idiot.



Oh wait, can you even do that?



I’ve got some new spells for us to try on Kreacher. That mangy old house elf will be sorry he ever crossed either of us when I get home.



Eight more weeks until end of term. I can’t believe my first year is nearly over already. It’s gone by so fast. I dunno if I’ve even learned anything really…except that Mrs. Norris, that’s the caretaker’s cat, throws up when you feed her too much cream, and if you sneak up and run steadfast straight thru a ghost it feels completely wicked, but be ready to run like hell because they don’t like it much.



Next year will be ace tho, especially if you get sorted into Gryffindor with me. Wouldn’t that be something? Honestly I don’t think mother could handle it…your head may just end up on that wall if so. You’ll probably be sorted into Hufflepuff though, because that’s where all the duffers go.



Just kidding.



Maybe.



I’ll try to write again before summer holiday, but things are getting busy.



Your older and smarter brother,

Sirius O. Black



PS �“ Thanks for the photo of Trixie. James laughed at your face in the photo, you look like you swallowed a Shock Pop. I lied tho and told them Trixie ran off instead of…well you know.

Fading Into Grey
Chapter 8 �“ June 1972

Sirius was brooding by the time the train approached Kings Cross Station. He wasn’t sure as to why, except that he really wasn’t ready to say goodbye to his friends for the long summer holiday.

He felt an overwhelming urge to tell James he’d miss him but the thought of being brandished an “emotional girl” for all eternity kept him from doing so. Instead he leaned over, startled a daydreaming James with a flick of fingers in his face, and then cuffed him about the back of the head twice.

“Two for flinching.”

“Wanker,” James mumbled before giving Sirius a backhanded smack to the thigh.

Content with that, and massaging his stinging leg, Sirius fell back into his reverie. He was wishing it was not summer, which confused him because what kid didn’t look forward to summer holiday? What made him feel ashamed was that he wanted nothing less than to return to Grimmauld Place. But he shouldn’t feel that way, he told himself over and over. At Number Twelve were Regulus and his Mother and Father, and together they were one of the oldest and most noble families in the Wizarding World. He should be proud of that and the fact that he couldn’t figure out what was bothering him made him feel even more ashamed of it.

Sirius’s marks had been high, sharing top honors with James, so that had pleased his parents, so much so that he wasn’t even really worried about punishment for all the detentions he’d served; it wasn’t that at all. His mother’s last letter was one of well wishing and longing for his return. She had said she was excited that the whole family would once again be together. But something still bothered him.

Ever since around February during one particularly dreadful Defense Against the Dark Arts class did he begin to question something about himself. Sirius was starting to realize he belonged to a long line of Dark Wizards.

Now he knew about magic since he was a wee one in nappies. His family emitted magical ability, it oozed from their pores, it wasn’t even second nature…it was just who they were. Sirius had often wondered why he had to actually go to school to be taught magic when it all came so easily to him. Being a part of such a long line of pureblood witches and wizards had only strengthened the power of the Black Family’s magic.

But it was the magic in which they practiced that Sirius began to notice. It was what he had grown up with, but now that he’d taken a year of Defense, he started to realize that perhaps all magical families didn’t function in the same manner. Now he’d come to see how some of the magic he’d grown accustomed to, so dark and disturbing, required an actual class at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to learn to protect and defend yourself against properly.

It was rather unnerving.

Sirius didn’t know what to think of that and he was having a difficult time processing what it all meant. But it was his family. What was one supposed to make of that?

One thing he did know is he didn’t want to be a Dark Wizard. First of all, James loathed Dark Magic. It had been the whole reason James hated Sirius that first day of school. And now James had become his absolute best mate, and Sirius didn’t want to lose that. For some reason he and James just completely clicked. They thought the same way, they were both rather clever, it was almost as if James could finish Sirius’s thoughts and sentences. They were so much alike and spent so much time together that a few of the upper classman had dubbed them the Dark Haired Duo, mistaking the one for the other at times. They were like…well, like brothers.

“Hey Pete, chuck me one of those choccy frogs,” James said.

The atmosphere in their compartment was rather subdued compared to their normal camaraderie. Sirius knew James wasn’t looking forward to going home all that much either. They had had their customary late night chat the night before where James had confided that he was going to be bored without the other boys around all summer. James was an only child, and even though Sirius had come to find James was rather spoiled and got nearly anything and everything he’d ever wanted, he could see how going home to no one could be daunting. At least Sirius had Regulus and even though Regulus could be an annoying little git, they got on well and managed to keep a good front against Kreacher and their mother most times.

Sirius smiled to himself thinking of Regulus. He did miss the little toe rag. That, in turn, made him feel sorry for James for not having anyone at all to go home to. Which made him feel guilty for dreading going home. Number Twelve wasn’t all that bad. Why should this summer be any different than the eleven years he’d spent previously in that house? It was where he’d grown up. It was home.

No more thinking. It’s doing your head in.

The whistle blew and the train finally came to a rattling halt. The boys clumsily piled out of the compartment, pulling their trunks behind them.

“Hey Sirius,” James nudged him as they waited in the hallway of the train. “Was that true, what Bellatrix said?”

A few hours into the journey, Sirius’s cousin Bellatrix and her 5th year Slytherin friends had met up with he and James in the hallway on their way back from the loo. Bella had once again, like she had so many times before, teased Sirius about his impeding betrothal to her sister, Sirius’s other cousin, Narcissa.

“Will you really have to marry her?” James asked again, pulling a face.

“Nah,” Sirius shrugged. “She’s just taking the mickey.”

“If you say so,” James didn’t look convinced.

“C’mon, you know Bella. She loves to torment me,” Sirius answered, wishing he felt as confident as he’d managed to sound.

The boys shuffled their way through the que and nearly the moment they stepped off the train there came a loud shriek somewhere up the platform. Out bounded a short, and small, although plump woman. She was older, her black hair speckled with gray swept up into a messy bun at the back of her head. She wore glasses and a Muggle dress patterned with large, multi colored cabbage roses. Along side her strode what must have been her husband, tall and slender with a bit of a potbelly. He also had dark hair, although slicked to the side using sleek easy, and he was graying at the temples. He to wore glasses and Muggle clothing, brown trousers and an argyle sweater vest. They were coming at the boys, arms outstretched, wide smiles, and elated eyes.

Sirius had the fleeting feeling he was a small animal trapped in a hunter’s target.

The woman engulfed James in such an embrace that he was in danger of losing his head in her full bosom.

“James! Oh James just look at you!” The woman pulled James out of the hug by the arms and surveyed him.

“Looking good, young man! Looking good,” the man said, patting James on the shoulder affectionately.

Sirius watched, wide-eyed as the woman continued her ministrations, straightening James’s collar, patting down his disheveled hair, even wiping a smudge of what seemed to be chocolate off his cheek.

“Muuum…” James groaned.

“Are these your mates, son?” The man asked looking around at the other three.

“Yea,” James answered. “This is Sirius, and that’s Peter and over there that’s Remus.”

“Hullo boys, hullo!” James’s mother greeted them. “I do hope you can all come visit us over the holiday.”

“Psst!”

Sirius turned his attention from all the commotion to find Narcissa tugging at his sleeve and motioning her head towards a tall, dark wizard Sirius hadn’t expected to see. It was his father, Orion Black. He stood board straight, clothed in black tailored trousers and his usual embroidered waistcoat. He was clasping shut a watch and tucking it inside the waistcoat pocket lazily surveying the platform. Father and son’s eyes met and within moments a hint of a smile crossed Orion Black’s face. Sirius gave a small smiled back and most of his apprehension of the impending summer at Grimmauld Place washed away.


*~*~*~*


Father and son apparated into the front hall of Number Twelve. The house was dark but for the fire from the serpent shaped candelabras and chandelier casting an eerie glow over the many portraits that lined the walls. Some of the faces bid him a welcome back others simply nodded. Orion Black started towards the drawing room, but turned and addressed his son before entering through the doorway.

“You’re mother is resting. I don’t want her disturbed.”

“Yes Sir.”

Sirius, as quietly as possible, started to drag his trunk towards the staircase.

“Boy?”

Sirius turned back around looking up at his father.

“Yes, Sir?”

Orion Black crossed his arms and looked disapprovingly down at his son.

“I sent you away to school to learn, boy. Did you not learn a thing?”

“Of course, Sir,” Sirius answered, quite confused. His marks had been high, of course he’d learned loads.

“Then take out your wand and use it,” his father commanded.

“But Father, the decree for Underage Wizardry…?”

“Sirius, you are a Black…Toujour Pur. One of the oldest and purest families left. You are magic, it is who you are. It is up to parents to enforce that idiotic Ministry law and I make the rules here. In this house I say you will practice magic, underage or not.”

Sirius had a sudden burst of appreciation for his father and not to mention a glorious, fleeting vision of hexing Bellatrix into oblivion throughout the summer.

“Yes, Sir,” he smiled and his father smiled back.

Moments like this were few and far between with Orion Black. Sirius relished in the feeling. Feeling particularly lucky, he pressed on with something that had been on and off his mind since Yule.

“Father, may I ask you something?”

“I don’t see why not,” Mr. Black turned back around to face his son squarely.

“Well…cousin Bella’s been telling me that I’m to marry Cissy, and well…I don’t want...”

“Has another pureblood lass already caught your fancy?” His father winked at him.

“No, Sir!” Sirius answered, horrified.

“There are very distinct lines and only certain sorts are worthy of the Black name. You understand that, boy?”

“Of course, it’s just that…”

“Sirius, there will be a time and place for this discussion and for now it is neither.”

“But, I just want to know if…”

“Boy, I’ve given you my word on this. That is all.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Sirius took out his wand and pointed at his trunk.

“Locomotor Trunk!”


*~*~*~*


“Shut up, Bella!” Narcissa yelled.

Girls.

Sirius sighed. He was missing his mates and the Boy’s Club immensely. It was only two weeks into the summer holiday and their three female cousins had bombarded him and Regulus for nearly a week now and it was doing his head in.

“You don’t even know what you’re talking about!” Narcissa added.

“I know plenty. I told you I overheard father and Uncle Orion talking, Cissy.”

“Father wouldn’t let me marry him!” Narcissa threw a disgusted glance at Sirius. “He’s just a child!”

“Oi! You’re only a year older than me you realize?” Sirius objected.

“Yes, Father would,” Bellatrix said silkily, ignoring Sirius’s interruption. “Our most important task is keeping our bloodline pure. And, Sirius, although a mangy toe rag, is heir to the House of Black.”

“I’m not marrying him, heir or not,” Narcissa pouted.

“What makes you think I’d want to marry you?” Sirius stood up, put his hands on his hips and inquired indignantly.

Narcissa merely crossed her arms in front of her chest and rolled her eyes at him.

“Just think of what your babies will look like. Fair like you or dark like Sirius? I hope you have dozens of stupid, little, pale-faced black haired heirs!” Bellatrix cackled.

“Bella, you nasty, wicked little bitch!” Narcissa screamed at her sister.

“I think it’s funny,” Bellatrix snickered.

“It’s not funny,” Sirius yelled at her.

“Either way I’m sure they’ll be beastly little sprogs.”

Bellatrix cackled wildly at her own wit, Sirius growled at her, and Narcissa fraught with frustration, let out a high-pitched scream.

“Would you all just shut up?” Andromeda shouted from the corner.

As Andromeda had been quiet most of the evening, and in a particularly foul mood all day, all involved abruptly stopped arguing. Bellatrix made it quite clear she was still amused, Narcissa stomped over to the opposite corner her oldest sister to pout, and Sirius strode over to where Regulus was quietly playing on the floor with a box of exploding snap cards and sat down opposite him.

Regulus glanced up at Sirius through his dark fringe without lifting his head.

“When do they leave?” he whispered.

“Not soon enough,” Sirius grumbled.

He watched while Regulus built a particularly high and crooked house out of the cards. Every now and then adding one to the towering creation himself. He even sneaked in a small sticking charm without, he hoped, Regulus noticing. Sirius chanced a glance over at Andromeda and saw his cousin sitting stock still in her chair, her knees up to her chest, biting on a fingernail and staring out the window.

“What do you suppose is wrong with Ana?” he quietly asked his brother.

“I dunno,” Regulus shrugged, looking over in her direction.

Narcissa was still pouting in the other corner when Bellatrix let out a dramatic sigh.

“I’m bored,” she groaned.

She took out her wand and pointed it at the green velvet pillows adorning the sofa and directed one to crash into the card house causing the entire deck to explode between them.

“Bella!” Regulus cried.

“That was uncalled for!” Sirius leapt to his feet, striding towards Bella.

Bellatrix laughed and Narcissa started giggling, apparently forgetting her own troubles and Sirius was nearly to Bellatrix when Andromeda stood up and strode in between them.

“You’re all acting like children!” she pushed Sirius aside and glared at Bellatrix before stalking out of the room.


*~*~*~*


He should have realized it wasn’t a good idea when it was Bellatrix who had suggested the game. And now here it was, three hours later and he still couldn’t find Regulus. Reluctant as he was to disturb Andromeda due to her foul mood, he was desperate for her help, so he knocked quietly on the door to the guest bedroom she had holed herself up in.

“Ana?”

No sound from behind the door. He knocked again.

“Ana, it’s Sirius. May I come in?”

A few moments passed and still he heard nothing, he was sure she was in there. She had been moody her entire visit and Sirius was beginning to wonder what her problem was. For now it didn’t matter, he needed to find Regulus before dinner and he needed Andromeda’s help, for Bella and Cissy were useless.

“Andromeda, c’mon.”

“Go away,” came a broken voice.

“Ana, please. I need you to help me,” Sirius answered.

“No, go away,” she answered, a bit more force behind her voice this time.

Sirius was losing what little patience he had.

“Ana, open the door or I’ll bribe one of the portraits to slip in there and annoy you.”

No answer…

“Uncle Lycoris sings a merry rendition of A Wizard’s Wand…”

Again, no answer…

“He’s got about a hundred and five verses. It could last for hours, it gets more rude as he goes on…”

Silence.

“C’mon!” Sirius shouted, banging on the door. “Let me in!”

“Leave. Me. Alone!” she screamed.

Sirius leapt back from the door, stared at it a moment, swore then kicked it.

“Fine!” he shouted. “Sit up here all alone and moan if you want, I’ve got things to do!”

And he turned and stalked off wondering what had gotten into his favorite cousin. But it didn’t matter, he had more pressing problems, he had to find Regulus before dinner or he’d have to answer to his parents. Things had been going very good so far with them, both his Mother and Father were in splendid moods since he’d gotten home from Hogwarts.

One particular evening his father had even allowed him to sit up late with him in his study and given him his own small goblet of port. They sat up discussing Sirius’s favorite spells and his natural abilities. Sirius couldn’t remember the last time, if ever; he and his Father had had an evening like that one. It made Sirius feel almost grown up talking to his Father the way he did.

He turned down the third floor hall when he heard Bellatrix on the stairs on her way up. She cooed when she saw Sirius alone.

“Aww, you still haven’t found precious little Reggie?”

“No,” Sirius mumbled.

“Good luck,” she snickered and closed the door to her own bedroom.

Sirius found Narcissa in the family library, flipping the pages of a huge tome of outdated spells. She looked up at him lazily as he entered and sat down opposite her on the richly colored sofas facing one another.

“Cissy, where is he?” He resigned. He was tired and frustrated and hungry and therefore starting to get in a mood himself.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged with a small, pleasant smile.

“I’ve looked everywhere,” Sirius grunted, pounding the cushion with his fist.

“Apparently not everywhere,” Narcissa rolled her eyes.

Sirius glared at her.

She tutted.

“Why don’t you just use your father’s Delineation?”

“My father’s what?” Sirius pulled a face.

“The parchment with the tracking charm, idiot,” she answered with another roll of her eyes.

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh don’t act so thick. Father has one on us girls. It’s a Black Family tradition,” she added. “Wait, you’ve never seen it?”

“Seen what?”

Narcissa sighed, “Forget it, perhaps Uncle Orion doesn’t have one.”

“Whatever,” Sirius grumbled. “Will you just help me find him?”

She ignored him.

“Cissy, tell me,” he whined.

She smirked and continued turning the pages, slow and mechanical, ignoring him, enraging him to the point of hexing. Sirius stood, pulled out his wand from his back pocket and pointed it towards his cousin.

“Put that away!” she demanded.

“Tell me where he is, or you’ll have one giant boil for a face!”

“Put that away first!”

“Where is he?”

“Fine! He’s in the attic!”

“The attic?”

“Yes. Now stop pointing that at me!”

“It’s dark up there,” Sirius admitted.

“So?”

“So, you know he hates it up there!”

Narcissa giggled wickedly, “Well, you’d better go rescue him then, hadn’t you?”

“Cow!” Sirius leapt up and yelled at her before running towards the door.

Narcissa pulled her wand and hit him in the back with a Tripping Jinx. He swore at her again before clambering up and running out the library doors and sprinting up the staircase.

By the time Sirius pushed opened the small attic door he was out of breath. The room was pitch black but for the little bit of light from the hall that shown through the open doorway.

It smelled musty up there, and filled with ages old heirlooms and furniture and portraits covered in cobwebs and inches of dust. There was a clearing in the middle of the old creaky wooden floor and there sat Regulus, knees pulled up to his chest and his head down on his knees, and Sirius could see he was sobbing.

“Lumos!” Sirius panted, the light from his wand casting eerie shadows throughout the crowded room.

Regulus’s head jerked up then squinted at the light. He hastily wiped at his eyes with the back of his hands. Before Sirius could say a word, an old wardrobe wobbled furiously back and forth as if something inside were trying desperately to get out. It startled both brothers but Regulus let out a little, high-pitched squeak.

“What is that?” Regulus asked.

“I dunno,” Sirius said, eyeing the wardrobe warily.

“The ghost told me it’s a Boggart trying to get out,” Regulus explained in a small, broken voice. “He said it feeds…” he sobbed. “It feeds on little children.”

“What ghost?” Sirius asked, looking around the room.

“The one that lives up here,” Regulus’s voice came in short spurts.

“Why are you up here? Why didn’t you just come downstairs?”

“I can’t move,” Regulus sobbed.

“C’mon,” Sirius reached for Regulus’s upper arm to help him up. “Let’s get out of here.”

“No!” Regulus shouted.

Sirius jumped back, “What’s wrong?”

“Look!” Regulus pointed at the floor near his feet.

Sirius looked down bewildered. He noticed a green circle that surrounded Regulus, it looked as if it had been painted on the floorboards. Regulus sat stick still, afraid to put a toe out over the curved line.

“What is it?”

“Bella put it there,” Regulus whispered.

“What is it though?” Sirius asked.

Regulus drew a rattled breath and wiped at his eyes again before answering in a hushed tone. “Bella said if I crossed the circle, it would…”

“It would what?” Sirius asked.

“She hexed you, Sirius,” Regulus cried, his voice cracking, his eyes watering once again. “She said if I cross the circle you’ll die!”

It took a minute for Sirius to register what Regulus was saying. So that’s why he’d stayed up there for hours in the pitch-black attic, a place he would never go before, stick still and never daring to put a toe outside the circle, because Bellatrix had tricked him into thinking if he crossed over it, something would happen to Sirius. Sirius dropped to the floor and sat next to his brother and put his arm around him as Regulus cried.

“Reg,” Sirius sighed. “You have to stop being so bloody gullible.

Regulus looked up and sniffed, “What?”

“Nothings going to happen to me if you cross this stupid line. Bellatrix didn’t hex me.”

“How do you know?” Regulus asked.

“Look,” Sirius explained. “Bella is a wicked witch and she’s got her artillery of hexes and jinxes, but she couldn’t kill anyone. Well, especially not one of us.”

Regulus drew a long breath, “You think so?”

“Of course she wouldn’t,” Sirius half smiled. “We may hate one another, but we’re family.”

Regulus shrugged, “Yea, I suppose.”

“C’mon,” Sirius nudged him with his shoulder. “Come down with me and we’ll find her and Cissy and you can watch me give it to them good.”

Regulus didn’t look thoroughly convinced.

“I think I know a hex that will really make you laugh,” Sirius smirked.

Regulus wiped his eyes once again and the hint of a smile crossed his face. He sniffed again and said, “I’m glad you’re home.”



*~*~*~*


Sirius sat haughtily at the long dinner table with all the family. He chewed on his potatoes with a smug smile. Regulus’s eyes were still red and puffy as he sat next to his brother, but as he chewed his roast he too could not hide his pleasure.

Bellatrix and Narcissa sat opposite them, not pleased at all.

Sirius and Regulus had found the girls in the first floor sitting room. As Regulus distracted them Sirius hexed Bellatrix with Densaugeo, causing her teeth to swell and jut out down past her chin, and on Narcissa he used Langlock, making her tongue stick to the roof of her mouth. The girls had screamed, causing Druella Black to run in to see what the commotion was. Sirius had hastily explained to his Aunt what Bella had done to Regulus. She then complimented him on his magic and told her daughters she would remove the hexes before bed, but for the evening they would remain this way as punishment.

Both girls were having a rather difficult time attempting to eat. Instead they sat, arms crossed and pouting. Each time Sirius glanced at Bella and her gigantic otter teeth protruding out of her mouth, he snorted with silent laughter, which caused Regulus to shake with a fit of giggles.

Andromeda on the other hand was sitting quietly, as if lost in thought, merely pushing her food around her plate with her fork. Sirius was in such a good mood that he wished Ana would smile with them. It wasn’t often the boys got the upper hand on the two younger girls and he knew something must be very wrong with his oldest cousin to make her not join in the fun.

Sirius’s father and Cygnus Black sat at opposite ends of the grand table, both back in their chairs enjoying some port. Sirius’s mother sat to the right of her husband, as did Druella Black. Two of Sirius’s uncles had joined them for dinner as well. Alphard, a bachelor, who was his mother’s brother, sat to the right of her, and Ignatius Prewitt who married Sirius’s aunt Lucretia from his father’s side.

They were all discussing a wizard with whom they’d all known back in the day. They seemed to agree that this wizard was someone with whom things would be set straight once and for all with the Wizarding World. Sirius caught bits of the conversation in between snickering at Bella and Cissy and glancing at Ana. He heard his father say something about the “Nights of Walpurgis” and then wink at his mother, and then Uncle Ignatius joke about the good ole days of Hogwarts. His Uncle Cygnus added that this Lord Whatshisface had the “right idea” and his own father mentioned that it wouldn’t be long before the “right people” would come to power in the Ministry.

Soon Kreacher came in hauling a large serving trolley filled with desserts.

“Why are you so grumpy?” Sirius leaned over and whispered to Ana.

“Shove off,” she sneered.

Sirius gave her an incredulous look then stuck his tongue out at her. She rolled her eyes back at him.

Bellatrix mumbled something and Andromeda glared at her. Bella smiled, which only made her look even more ridiculous, which made Sirius snort out a laugh. Bella glared at Sirius then mumbled something else, something that Andromeda must have understood because she gave her sister a look and told her to keep her mouth shut.

“What did Bella say?” Regulus asked innocently, moving his plate over as Kreacher set a large plate of pudding down in front of him.

“Nothing,” Andromeda muttered.

“Kreacher knows what’s wrong with Miss Andromdea. Kreacher has heard things,” the house elf croaked.

Andromeda’s head whipped around and she looked horror struck at the elf.

“Kreacher can also…read,” the elf added with a wicked smile.

“Shut up, you mangy old coot,” Andromeda spat.

The house elf smiled more broadly and said, “Kreacher would never say anything unless his Mistress asked it of him.”

“I told you to shut up!” Andromeda, looking rather shaken, shouted at the elf.

“As you wish,” Kreacher bowed so low his long, pointy nose hit the floor.

“What is all this?” Walburga Black demanded.

“It’s nothing!” Andromeda blurted out.

“Andromeda!” Druella Black shouted. “You will not talk to your Aunt like that.”

“Yes Ma’am,” Andromeda looked positively green in the face now.

“Kreacher,” Walburga Black demanded. “What’s this about?”

“No!” Andromeda shouted, and as the word left her lips Druella Black pointed her wand at her oldest daughter and shouted, “Silencio!”

Andromeda gulped and grabbed at her throat, eyes wide in horror. She looked at her mother, and then to her father, everyone was now rounding on the elf as he spoke.

“Kreacher knows why Miss Andromeda has been moody,” the elf stood up straight, as if at attention as he answered his mistress. “Kreacher has found letters to Miss Andromeda from a boy.”

“What boy?” Cygnus Black demanded.

“A boy called Tonks,” Kreacher explained. The elf started smiling as he continued, his eyes widened as if he were enjoying this all too much. “And a Mudblood at that.”

“What?” Druella Black shouted.

Sirius’s mother gasped and threw her hand to her chest. His own father slammed his goblet down on the table and down his uncle Cygnus stood with such force that his chair fell backwards.

The house elf chuckled. Seldom did Sirius see Kreacher actually smile or appear to enjoy himself, but right now, the elf was obviously giddy with glee. Sirius thought it odd. It was almost as if everything were being played out in slow motion in front of him.

“Oh, and that’s not all Kreacher knows,” the elf continued.

Andromeda stood up; her eyes wide with horror, shaking her head, her mouth moving, trying to speak but no words would come out. Everyone else stared at the house elf.

Kreacher’s voice became menacing, “Kreacher knows that Miss Andromeda is an ungrateful, little brat, who tarnishes the House of Black with her filthy ways.” The elf began speaking faster, “The Mudblood has tainted the eldest daughter of my family. The little brat has disgraced my Mistress and her family.”

Andromeda lunged for the elf, Kreacher screeched as her hands went around his neck. Druella grabbed her daughter by the arm and wrenched her from the elf, and that’s when the elf said silkily,

“Miss Andromeda is with child.”


*~*~*~*


The four of them stood outside the room. Sirius, Bella, and Cissy had their ears pressed to the closed double doors.

“What does all this mean?” Regulus whispered.

“Shut up, Reg!” Sirius hissed.

“I can’t hear what they are saying,” Narcissa said.

“She’s a disgrace,” Bella sneered.

“Shut up, Bella!”

“Is that all you can say, Sirius?” Narcissa asked.

“Yes. Shut up!”

“You’re just angry she didn’t tell you,” Bella taunted.

Sirius glared at Bella then muttered, “Shut up.”

Bella smirked, “Well, well…looks like I’ve touched a nerve.”

“What’s going on?” Regulus whined.

“Shh!” Narcissa hissed.

Sirius walked away from the door to the opposite wall and slid down to sit on the floor. Bella sat down on one of the chairs flanking a large bureau. Narcissa sat opposite Bella, sighed and said,

“They must have put an imperturbable charm on the door.”

“Sirius is pouting,” Bella giggled and pointed. “Look at him, Cissy!”

“I’m not pouting,” Sirius grumbled.

“Are!” Bella answered. “You’re upset because Ana never told you.”

“Not true!”

“Is true! You think she thinks you are special. You think she trusts you.”

“She does!” Sirius answered.

Bella shook her head, “No she doesn’t, or she would have told you.”

Sirius simply glared at her.

“Is Andromeda going to have a baby?” Regulus asked.

“Yes,” Sirius answered.

“No!” Bellatrix hissed.

“Yes she is,” Sirius argued.

“She may be now, but she won’t be for long,” Bella retorted.

“What do you mean?” Sirius asked.

Bella laughed, “You really are an idiot, Sirius.”

“What do you mean?” Sirius asked again, this time more heatedly.

“Mother and Father will never let her keep that filthy Mudblood’s baby!”

At these words the doors blasted open and out walked a white-faced, physically shaking Andromeda. Her tear stained face was set with determination. Sirius looked up at her from the floor, hypnotized by her expression. She walked slow and proud out past the four children scattered in the hall and never looked back as she headed towards the front door.

Sirius’s head whipped around and he peered inside the room. Cygnus Black stood facing the large fireplace, his back to the door his daughter had just exited. Druella Black sat on the arm of the sofa, her face hidden in a lace handkerchief. Sirius father stood tall, arms folded across his chest staring over at the family tapestry while Sirius’s mother pointed her wand at it, blasting a hole where Andromeda’s name was.

Sirius scrambled up clumsily off the floor and ran towards his cousin as her hand touched the serpent shaped door handle.

“Ana,” he called.

She paused but did not turn around.

“Ana!” he yelled, almost desperate moving towards her. She stood motionless at the door. “Wait!”

“Sirius!” his father yelled from the room.

Sirius stopped. He could feel his father’s eyes on him.

“Ana,” he said quietly.

Hand still on the doorknob, she bowed her head, her shoulders were shaking. She was crying. Sirius watched as she took a deep breath, still never turning around to face him, he heard her small, broken voice say.

“You’re not like them, Sirius,” she sniffed. “Remember that.”

“Ana!”

“Sirius Orion Black!”

Sirius quickly turned around to see his father standing in the sitting room doorway, face enraged, shaking his head in disapproval.

Sirius heard the front door behind him quietly clasp shut.

She was gone.



Letter from James Potter to Sirius Black
July 1972

Sirius,
How’s the summer so far, mate? Mine’s been pretty good. I’ve been swimming in the river at the edge of the moors and it’s been brilliant. I’ve made a raft for us to float on. I can’t wait until you get here. You have asked your mum and dad, haven’t you? Write me soon!
James

Fading Into Grey
Chapter 9 - September 1972

The sun felt hot against his face and chest, in stark contrast to the cool water lapping at his arms and legs. As he floated in a makeshift raft, he held onto a reed protruding from the water to keep from moving downstream with the current. His entire body felt lifeless and completely relaxed from the lazy summer day. The sun was so bright it made his vision hazy as he squinted to look down his chest. His skin had never been browner in his life.

They had spent their days swimming in the river at the edge of the moor and nights camping out back behind the Potters’ house. James’ mum and dad gave them free reign of the household, and the boys had been lavished with sweets and pies and Sunday roasts. Devonshire was so different from the loud and busy streets of London. Sirius felt he could live here forever.

He could hear James and Peter laughing and splashing nearby. He looked over to the other edge of the water and smiled at Andromeda, who was standing on the bank, her belly rotund. She smiled as she rubbed the bump and waved back at him.

The tranquil water began to slowly ripple. The sun vanished behind a dark cloud, suddenly leaving his skin feeling cold and oddly bare. A prickling sensation washed over him as the water began to rise. The raft he lay in started rocking from the building current, bucking him back and forth.

Sirius heard a low, growling voice call his name.

He turned his head, trying to find where the voice was coming from. Then he saw Andromeda again �“ just moments later �“ yet this time lying on the bank, crying, her arm wrapped around a bloody bundle of cloth.

“Sirius…”

She called his name, but her voice was oddly hoarse and low. He tried to paddle his way out of the reeds but they began to pull him in. The current was too much. He couldn’t fight it. Then he heard Andromeda; this time it sounded like her.

“Sirius, you’re not like them! Help me!”

She was crying, reaching her hand out to him, but she seemed to be floating further away.

“I’m not like them! But I don’t know what to do!”

“Help me, Sirius! Please!”

“I’m trying!”

He flipped over on the small raft and began swimming, but he wasn’t getting anywhere. Frustrated, he splashed and thrashed in the water but he was still no closer; it seemed he was even further from her than before.

“I can’t! It’s too much!”

“Master Black.”

There was the voice again…deep and dark and venomous. Then the reeds parted and out reached a hand, old and wrinkled, which grabbed Sirius’s leg and he screamed…

Sirius woke with a start at his own voice screaming into his pillow, Kreacher’s vice grip around his ankle.

“Master Black was dreaming.” The elf smiled wickedly. “What a pleasant dream it must have been, too.”

“Don’t touch me!” Sirius yelled, his heart still pounding, pulling his leg from Kreacher’s grip.

“Master Black needs to wake. Mistress wants to leave for the train soon.”

“Get out.”

“Ooh, Master Black had a scary dream. Poor child,” the elf cooed sarcastically.

“Get out of my bedroom!” Sirius yelled.

Kreacher left, mumbling under his breath about ungrateful children and spoiled brats.

Sirius blew out a stifled breath and ran his hands through his hair, his heart slowing to a normal pace. He lay there, recalling the dream.

Andromeda.

This summer had been weird. There was no other way to describe it. He had found out soon enough that mentioning her name was forbidden. It was just so strange how his mother and father acted like she had never existed. Even Bella and Cissy didn’t talk about her. One time he had found Cissy crying out in the back garden and had sussed it was because of Ana. He couldn’t figure it all out, though he’d definitely tried. Sirius had done more thinking in the past month than he probably had done his whole life. But all that thinking had done nothing but leave him without answers and make him miss Ana even more.

Sirius knew it was wrong, what Andromeda did. First of all, to be having a baby so young�”she was only sixteen and just heading into her final year at Hogwarts. But he just couldn’t understand how the fact that the boy she’d been seeing was a Muggleborn was so bad. Sirius thought of Remus, whose mum was a Muggle…Remus was a great friend. He was ill a lot, but so what, it didn’t mean he wasn’t a good friend.

Sirius punched his pillow and rolled over onto his side. The first thing that came into view was an old, carved wooden box sitting on his nightstand. The chess set Andromeda had given him for his eleventh birthday. He reached out and ran his finger over the silver clasp.

His door burst open and Sirius turned.

“Sirius,” Regulus announced as he came in, fully dressed in his new robes, “breakfast is almost ready.”

The nightmare was pushed out of his mind as he once again realized there was nothing he could do; more so, he had other things to be getting on with. Sirius smiled at his brother; it was downright cute how excited Regulus was about Hogwarts. He had to admit he was excited about going back himself. He couldn’t wait to see James, Peter, and Remus. It seemed like ages since he’d seen James and Peter in Devonshire at the Potters’ even though it had only been three weeks. He felt a little reassurance because he knew he’d also see Andromeda at school…at least, he hoped.

“I’m getting up,” Sirius said as he pulled the duvet back and hopped out of bed. Regulus made a strangled sound and Sirius turned back to look at him. His brother started to giggle, then lay back on Sirius’ bed wiggling around like a lunatic.

“What in blazes are you doing?” Sirius asked with a small laugh.

“It’s Josie!” Regulus giggled again.

“Where is she?”

“In my pocket!”

Regulus did a little wiggle as he pulled a tiny toad from his trousers. Sirius laughed as he pulled his school uniform out of his wardrobe and started to dress while Regulus put his toad on top of the bed and watched it hop around.

“I still ask how you know it’s a girl frog,” Sirius said.

“It’s not a frog, it’s a toad. And I just know,” Regulus answered haughtily.

“Because you’re an authority on frogs or something?”

“Toads,” Regulus corrected.

“Whatever,” Sirius shrugged.

The day before, he, Regulus, and their mother had spent the day in Diagon Alley collecting all their school supplies. Sirius only needed new school trousers, but his mother bought him all new shirts and jumpers as well, saying he needed to look (and start acting) like a Black. Regulus needed everything: wand, quills, parchment, cauldron, uniform, cloaks (two, one for now and one for winter with warm wool lining), and since Sirius already had an owl, Raven, Regulus decided on a toad. He’d even gotten his own broom, a Nimbus 1001, which was a newer model than Sirius’. Sirius didn’t mind, though; he didn’t really care much for Quidditch. Sure he liked watching it, but he wasn’t as mental about it as his brother; Regulus was dangerously obsessed about the game.

“Sirius?”

“Huh?” Sirius asked easily, combing his overly-long hair in the mirror by his wardrobe and grabbing his tie (which he’d kept knotted from the end of last school year) off a hook, then pulling it over his head.

“Mother says…” he paused. “Mother’s been saying some…things about you.”

Sirius turned his head around and looked at his brother.

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Regulus treaded lightly, “she says you’re a disgrace to the family.”

“What? Since when?”

“Well, you’re a Gryffindor,” Regulus answered plainly.

“So?” Sirius said. From what he’d sussed, his parents had accepted the fact that there was a Black in Gryffindor. Sure, he’d had a good talking to and he had heard all the lectures and all, but that didn’t change the fact of who he was, where he was sorted, or the fact that he was still their son. And his father had been proud of him for being in the Slug Club �“ at least he thought.

“And you’re mates with Mudblo…Muggleborns, too.”

“So what?” Sirius asked.

“Well, look what happened with…” Regulus stopped abruptly.

“Andromeda?”

“You’re not to speak her name!” Regulus’s eyes grew wide with fear.

“Why not? Andromeda’s our cousin,” Sirius argued, deliberately using her name again.

“Sirius!”

“You’re an idiot, Regulus.”

“I’m not!”

“Are! You believe anything anyone tells you!”

“I do not!”

“You do!”

“Well…I-I’m not supposed to trust you anymore.”

“What! Why not?”

“Because, Sirius,” Regulus stated, exasperated. “You’re mates with Mudbloods, and Mudbloods aren’t to be trusted.”

“Muggleborns!”

“Sorry! Muggleborns, I mean. Mother and Father say that contact with them is dangerous.”

“None of my mates are dangerous! The Potters are the coolest family I ever met!”

“I know, but that’s what you say. Mother and Father say different.”

“Mother and Father are wrong, Regulus.”

“How do you know?”

Sirius stopped, gob-smacked. How did he know?

“Well…” Regulus stammered. “I’m afraid, Sirius. I-I don’t want to be a disgrace, too.”

“It’s not a disgrace to be a Gryffindor,” Sirius argued. “How is that a disgrace?”

“Father says Gryffindors are weak.”

“Gryffindors are brave!”

“That’s not what Mother says,” Regulus answered haughtily. “And Father says that to be Slytherin is to be the best! I want to be the best, Sirius!”

“You’ll never be the best if you can’t think for yourself!”

“I can think for myself!”

Sirius laughed, “Yeah, right!”

“I just don’t want Mother and Father disappointed with me, and I definitely don’t want to be booted out of the family!”

“Like Andromeda…”

“Sirius! Mother and Father said not to speak her name,” Regulus said angrily.

“Mother says, Father says,” Sirius said in a sing-song voice, and Regulus blushed. “So you’d rather be with Bella and Cissy in Slytherin than in Gryffindor with me?”

“No!”

“You don’t even want to try to be in the same house as your own brother?” Sirius was angry, but also a little hurt.

“Yes I do, Sirius!”

“You just said you want to be in Slytherin!”

“I know, but�”I-I’m just confused!”

“Which is it then?” Sirius asked.

“I don’t know!” Regulus faltered.

“Well, you’d better bloody well figure it out quickly,” Sirius said scathingly, grabbing his trunk and pulling it out of his room, leaving Regulus behind.


*

They got to the station later than their mother wanted and she was in an extremely foul mood because of it. She doted on Regulus more so than usual and it was getting on Sirius’ nerves. He was still angry about Regulus’ revelation that their parents thought he was a worthless son and he found himself overly sensitive to his mother’s indulgences towards Regulus �“ asking if he had his books, his cauldron, his toad, and looking down at him so proudly - as the little twerp smiled up at her. He didn’t remember her being so helpful last year when he was sent off.

Mrs. Black then came over to her oldest son and began straightening his tie; suddenly Sirius caught sight of Remus and his parents on the other end of the platform. Remus met his eyes and gave a smile and a big wave. Suddenly aware of his mother’s gaze towards the Lupins, Sirius ignored his friend and instead averted his eyes, as if he’d not noticed. Mrs. Black glared down at her son.

“Sirius, I want you to find Bellatrix the moment you board that train, do you understand?” she commanded.

“Yes, Ma’am,” Sirius said.

“Regulus is your charge and you’re to look after him until you get to Hogwarts.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“You may see your…friends…when you get to school, but until Regulus is in the care of the,” she coughed slightly, “capable hands of the staff, you are to watch over him.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

She looked down at him as if examining a particularly difficult purchase. Then her stern face and piercing grey eyes softened slightly and she smiled down at him, placing her hand on his cheek.

“Make us proud, Sirius.”

“Yes, Mother,” he forced a small smile.

*

Once in the narrow train corridor, Sirius guided Regulus, hand on his shoulder, down the hall and through the other students to find his friends’ compartment. He knew he had just promised their mother, but he didn’t care. There was no harm in spending the long train ride with his mates, and anyway, the blossoming feeling of freedom from Grimmauld Place had given Sirius a sudden burst of rebelliousness.

They finally happened upon them in the last car, and when Sirius slid the compartment door open Regulus involuntarily gasped.

“Sirius! Mother said we’re supposed to find Bella and Cissy!”

“Mother’s not here now, is she?” Sirius smirked.

He pushed Regulus inside the compartment and followed; as he entered he found James sitting facing Remus and Peter, who were exchanging halves of homemade packed sandwiches.

“Hello, mate!” James quipped. “Long time no see, aye?”

“I can see you’re still as freckled as ever,” Sirius laughed.

Good ole James…He was as brown as Sirius from the few weeks in the summer the friends had spent together. Mrs. Potter had joked that Sirius, with his dark hair, could have been mistaken for her own son, but thanks to the freckles that always appeared on James’ nose during the sunny summer months, they’d most likely have no problem remembering who to send back home at the end of the visit.

“Hello to you, too, Squire,” James said to Regulus.

Regulus was pouting and pointedly ignored James, so Sirius gave him one more good shove inwards, where he sat and immediately stared out the window, as Sirius took a seat between the other two.

“Hi, Sirius,” Peter said through a mouthful of egg salad.

“’Lo, Pete,” Sirius said, then nodded at Remus. “Hey, Remus.”

Remus gave Sirius a small, expressionless nod, and then looked back down at his lap.

Sirius suddenly felt a wave of guilt and shame wash over him. Why had he ignored Remus on the platform? What was the point? All Remus did was wave… But his mum was right there, and he was too chicken to wave back.

Gryffindors are brave.

His own words rang in his head from the row he’d had with Regulus this morning. Sirius felt his face flush and told himself he’d make it up to Remus later. Remus deserved an apology. Remus was a good friend, Muggleborn or not.

The compartment door slid back open and three girls appeared.

“Oh, wonderful, this one’s full too,” Lily Evans moaned.

“There’s enough room,” Peter said suddenly, yet sweetly, a bit of egg falling from the corner of his mouth.

“There is?” James and Sirius asked in unison, along with a black-haired girl who pulled a face as she followed the bit of egg that fell from Peter’s mouth and finally came to rest on the cabin floor.

“Lily, just go in, we’ll have to manage,” Violet Waters piped in from the corridor.

“It’s Potter and Black, Violet,” Lily said. “I’m not spending the entire train ride cooped up with them!”

“Would you rather we sit in the hallway?” Violet asked sarcastically.

Lily gave a huge, suffering sigh and walked in.

“Budge up,” she ordered.

“Go find somewhere else to sit, Evans. There’s not enough room in here for you,” James said.

“There is nowhere else, so budge up!” Lily repeated.

James stretched out his legs and crossed his arms over his chest, making himself comfortable and taking up as much room as possible. “You’re telling us the entire train is full?”

“Seems that way.” The black-haired girl pushed her way in and sat down next to Remus.

“Potter, stop being such a prat and move over,” Lily sighed.

“Regulus can sit on the floor,” Sirius said suddenly.

“What?” Regulus whipped his head around and pulled a face at his brother.

“You’re a firsty, sit on the bloody floor.”

*

All ended with enough room for everyone, although it was quite cramped: The boys on one seat, four across, Regulus on the floor leaning against the wall under the window at Sirius’ feet, and the three girls facing them on the opposite seat.

The cabin was quiet, each boy trying desperately not to look at each girl and each girl doing the same. Sirius looked down at Regulus, still in the midst of a good pout. He looked like a little, stuck-up Pureblood. Sirius knew that look. Regulus was scared, but he wasn’t going to let it show; that’s how he got. Sirius vaguely wondered if that’s how he looked on his first day last year.

“Remus, how’s your mum?” Peter asked suddenly.

Remus, pointedly shocked at the sudden question, answered quietly, “She’s much better, ta.”

“What was wrong with her?” James inquired.

“Uh…oh…um, just sometimes she has stomach problems,” Remus said off-handedly. Sirius noticed he looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole and hide. Remus was really shy around girls and stuff, and he was probably still angry at him as well.

“You missed out on a lot,” Peter said. “Too bad.”

“Yeah,” James said with a smile, “there’s always next summer, aye?”

Remus gave a small smile and looked somewhat relieved.

The compartment was sheathed in an awkward silence, so much so that each time someone broke it with words, everyone nearly jumped.

“You two look startlingly alike,” Lily said to Sirius, looking down at his brother, then back up to him.

“They’re brothers, Evans,” James said sarcastically. “Did you think they’d not?”

Lily gave James a look.

“Well, if you must know,” Lily said. “My sister and I look nothing alike. And my name is Lily.”

“Well, Evans, did I ask what your sister looks like?” James said.

“You’re impossible,” she answered with a roll of her eyes.

Sirius had to hide his smile. James was good at annoying Evans; it had become somewhat of a game last year and it seemed to have continued on this term.

“Sirius, you can’t let your brother just sit on the floor the entire train ride,” the girl with straight black hair was saying.

Sirius looked to Regulus, then up to the black-haired girl and asked, nonplussed, “Who are you?”

He wasn’t really trying to be funny, but he heard James snort a laugh.

“Lucy,” the girl replied.

“Are you new?” Sirius asked.

“No,” Lucy looked at Sirius like he was off his nut. “I was in classes with you all last year.”

“Lucy’s my best friend,” Lily added.

“I thought Violet was your best friend?” Sirius said, pointing to Violet.

“She is, but so is Lucy,” Lily answered matter-of-factly.

“You can’t have two best friends,” Sirius said haughtily. “That’s stupid.”

“Who says?” Lily challenged him.

Sirius glared at her as Violet asked, “Peter, what are you doing?”

“I think there’s something in my trousers!”

“Sirius!” Regulus spoke finally. “I can’t find Josie!”

*

When the commotion had finally died down and Josie the Toad was once again safe in Regulus’ possession and out of Peter’s trousers, the girls took turns admiring the toad.

“She’s so cute; where did you get her?” Lily asked.

“Magical Menagerie in Diagon Alley,” Regulus answered.

“How do you know she’s a girl frog?” Violet asked.

“She just is,” Regulus said with a smile and a shrug.

“Just admit it, Reg, you don’t know for sure,” Sirius said with a laugh.

“I do,” Regulus argued.

“You can’t tell,” Sirius said.

“You can,” Lucy piped in. “Girl toads are larger, about twice the size of the males. They also have posterior extensions…”

“Posterior whats?” Sirius asked, perplexed.

“Little tails on their bums,” Lucy explained as she rolled her eyes at Sirius’s apparent stupidity. She then continued, “Females also lack the sticky coating on their forearms and they are also quieter, because they lack the vocal resonating sacs the boy toads have to make a mating call and…”

“You talk too much,” Sirius said bluntly.

Lucy looked gob-smacked, then, recovering slightly, stuck out her tongue, to which Sirius replied by sticking his right back at her.

“Well, I think she’s cute, and I love her name,” Violet said.

“Why did you name her Josie?” Lily asked, and Sirius noticed Regulus blush.

“After a chaser for Puddlemere United,” Regulus explained shyly.

“Joscelind Wadcock?” James asked, suddenly interested in the conversation.

Sirius elbowed James. “Regulus has a crush on her.”

“I do not!” Regulus argued. “She’s an ace chaser is all.”

“You like Puddlemere?” James asked.

“Yes,” Regulus answered.

“You actually like Quidditch?” James asked.

“Yes,” Regulus answered.

“No, I mean, really like Quidditch?” James quipped.

“Best sport in the world!” Regulus smiled.

James elbowed Sirius back and said with a smirk, “I think I’ll trade you in for your brother.”

*

At one point during the ride, the girls scrunched together so Regulus could sit with them. Sirius could tell his brother was enjoying all the attention. He had to smirk because he knew once Regulus got to know his mates he’d think they were cool to. He had sussed that Regulus had already forgot about the Muggleborn discussion from earlier and was downright enjoying himself now �“ smiling and laughing while the girls fussed over Josie the Toad.

That was, until the door to their compartment slid open and there stood Bella, flanked by her sixth-year friends. She quickly surveyed the room, then, with a look of someone who’d just had Limburger under the nose, she sneered.

“Regulus, you’re sitting with filthy Mudbloods.”

The girls involuntarily gasped at the sudden interruption and the shocking look of Bellatrix Black’s angry face. Regulus scrambled to sit up straight and quickly snatched Josie from Violet’s lap, a blush washing across his suddenly guilt-ridden face.

“What’s a Mudblood?” Lily asked, slightly annoyed but unmistakably a little frightened by Bellatrix.

Bellatrix rolled her eyes and said, “Sirius, tell your ginger girlfriend that she’s a filthy little Mudblood, and not to ever speak to me directly again.”

Lily, shocked, started to stand up, but Violet pulled her back down, whispering, “Lily, don’t…that’s Bellatrix Black.”

“Why you…” James started, but Sirius interrupted.

“She’s a Muggleborn, Bella, and not my girlfriend, so why don’t you just bugger off?” Sirius replied.

“I’m not going anywhere without Regulus, cousin,” she said haughtily.

“He’s fine in this compartment,” Sirius told her sternly. He glanced at Regulus, who looked down at the floor as soon as Sirius caught his eye.

“He’s not fine, and I have strict orders from your mother to come fetch him,” she said.

Regulus stood.

“Sit down!” Sirius commanded.

Regulus glanced at him, then to Bella, then back to him. He looked confused and scared to go with Bella.

“Regulus,” Sirius said more gently. “Sit down.”

Regulus started to sit when there was a tap at the window; it was Raven, Sirius’s owl, carrying an unmistakable red letter.

*

The Howler still ringing in his ears and the anger of what went down in the compartment finally starting to subside, Sirius sat with his mates at the Gryffindor table for the Sorting Feast.

“Don’t worry, mate,” Peter said with a hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah,” James added, “he’s your brother, Sirius, and Squire’s a good kid. He’ll be alright.”

Even Remus nodded his agreement.

Feeling a little better, the four of them sat down pointedly far away from Lily, Violet, and Lucy, the three girls having been thoroughly put out by what ended up as a disastrous journey from King’s Cross.

The Great Hall wooden doors suddenly burst open and Professor McGonagall lead the procession of new first years up to the front by the staff table. Sirius found Regulus as he strode by the Gryffindor table, but Regulus did not see him. He looked so small compared to some of the other students.

Professor McGonagall ordered the new students around the front, arranging them around the three legged stool before beginning her instructions.

“Now, when I call your name, you will come and sit on the stool and I shall place the Sorting Hat on your head.” She slowly unrolled the parchment containing the names.

There was a gentle murmur among the House tables and Sirius remembered how nervous he had been last year at this time. So many things suddenly surged through his mind �“ two years ago, sitting in the tree in the garden on that particularly windy October day when they talked about Hogwarts, and how Regulus was so jealous that Sirius was leaving; then last New Years at their cousins’, and Regulus being bullied and beaten by those other boys when Sirius wasn’t there to protect him; and this past summer, finding Regulus sitting up in the attic, scared and alone and happy that Sirius was there to help him and protect him; and then…

“Black, Regulus.”

Sirius sat straight up, inhaling a deep breath, eyes focused on his brother as he slid up onto the stool. Professor McGonagall placed the hat on his head. Regulus was so small that the hat slid down over his ears, half hiding his face and eyes. The seconds ticked by and it seemed like an eternity, until finally the hat yelled out:

“Slytherin!”