Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to any of J.K. Rowling's characters and places, including but not limited to Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, etc., etc. I am fully aware that the rights to these names and other belong to J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers alone.

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You know what? I’m famous, but not because of a talent or anything. It’s because my mum and dad were killed by this psycho mass-murderer everyone was so scared of they didn’t even say his name and still don’t, and when he tried to kill me, I lived. And he was reduced to this creature thing without a body. Nobody knows how it happened, but it did, and I’m famous all over the wizarding world for it. I’d rather not be. I’d rather just be your completely average English wizard-in-training.

A witch named J.K. Rowling knows that, but she still wrote, and is writing right now, books for the Muggle public about me and my life. She had to get special permission from the Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, to do it, but he decided the Muggles wouldn’t believe a thing. And he was right; they didn’t. However, they still loved the books and now this Rowling woman is rich. The books are seriously all lies excepting for the generally-known information, stuff you can read about in the Daily Prophet. But all that stuff about what I’m thinking and what I say to my friends and to my date to the Yule Ball and to Cho? False, all of it.

Yeah, the witch (and by that word I mean it in more ways than one) interviews me at Hogwarts every time she needs to know what I was thinking when I was doing this, or why I said that. But do you think I’m going to tell her things like why I asked Cho out to the Yule Ball? In the book about my fourth year at Hogwarts, I ask her out because I like her (I read the books so I can think of good comebacks before Malfoy can read them and ridicule me about this part or another; it comes in handy.) The real reason I asked Cho was because she’s nice and plays Quidditch and is rather pretty, but mainly because I was too scared to ask Fleur Delacour. I was afraid Ron would find out.

Anyway, he deserved getting the first try at asking her, right? I mean, I had other girls who I didn’t mind asking and going with, but he didn’t. I was being a good friend. And after that, when I asked Parvati, Rowling makes it seem like I only asked her because she basically the only person left I could think of to ask. Wrong again. Parvati’s not half-bad as looks go, pretty smart, and I swear she has a crush on me so I decided to do her a favor.

Well, back to talking about those books. It really annoys me in how I don’t even get the tiniest say in what I’m thinking and saying in them. I didn’t even know that women was going to write books about me until she showed up in Transfiguration one day near the end of my first year to interview me. Her excuse? “So I can make sure you’re as close to the real thing when I start writing.” Please.

It would be nice if I could look over the books before she sends them to the Muggle publishers, too. Some things end up in there, like me liking Cho and avoiding Colin Creevey, who in real life is a nice guy, not an annoying one, who’s obsessed with photography, not me, that I definitely would have taken out if I had the choice. But did I? No, of course not. Because although everyone seems to care that I’m famous and stuff, they don’t care at all about how I feel about that or anything else. They all seriously need to get lives. Well, except Ron and Hermione and Ginny and a couple of other friends.

I’m mad. Those books should be banned. This is only the beginning. I will get revenge…

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A/N: Can everyone please review? I'd love your feedback, even if you didn't like it. You know you want to!