Letter from Lily Evans to Charlotte Appleby.. Friday, 2nd July, 1976



Dear Char,



I miss you!



Sorry to offload a rant on you so soon, but I've only been home since yesterday and I'm already on the verge of killing my sister's boyfriend, and no, it's not Charles Eckerly any more, she's got a new one, Vernon Dursley, or Vermin, as I have so fondly taken to referring to him as.



He resembles a mountain troll, equals a mountain troll in intellect, talks of nothing but drills, and does nothing but sit around our house whispering to Petty and sending glares in my direction because he knows I'm a witch, which just means that Petty's decided to keep this one, she never told any of her other 'beaux' that her sister was a freak. Of course, he's perfectly nice when mum and dad are around, and I'm having lots of fun doing magic in front of them (oh, the joys of being of age!) and seeing them squirm. I'm sure he thinks I'm going to attack him. I wish I could.



Therefore, my dear Charlotte, I am bitterly heartbroken that you've decided to leave me this summer... I'm trying to guilt trip you now, is it working? Please forgive me, I'm just horribly jealous that you get to go to France this year, and I must stay at home with my parents and the human definitions of little and large, for I fear that Vermin is going to be here a lot.



I'm horribly bored, and I have no one to talk to... write back to me Charlotte, I need some sunshine in my pitiful rain-cloud of a life. I fear this summer is going to be my most boring yet.



Love you to pieces (and more if you write back)



Lily x



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Letter from Charlotte Appleby to Lily Evans.. Sunday, 4th July, 1976



Dear Mrs. Potter,



Hehe, I bet you're all annoyed now, aren't you? That’s the beauty of mail, I can tease you about Jamesie poo all I like and you can't throw a heavy and/or pointy object at me, so I say Ha! Of course I'm perfectly aware that you will murder me when we get back to school in September, but it's worth it just to picture your face.



We're leaving for France tomorrow, and I have nothing packed. You see how I love you Lily? I'm discarding a very important task in favour of writing to you, so you can't kill me when you get back, and besides, if you do, who will protect you from Potter? Mwa haha!



Your sister's boyfriend sounds sexy... (Ha!)



You poor darling! What are you going to do with him all summer? Maybe I should write to him and warn him not to antagonize you, we've all seen the famous Lily-temper, and with no James to vent on, I fear you are in danger of spontaneously combusting.. please don't, I shall miss you awfully if you do. I'm sure that with your non-troll like intelligence, you can come up with something to do. It's a pity I'm gone for so long, I would have loved to have you stay, you know my parents love you.



Mummy is calling, I hear her from downstairs, so I must go, but I love you, love you, love you loads. Give Vermin a kick up the arse for me, and give your mum a hug from me when you get your foot dislodged from said arse.



Goodbye, future wife of Jamesie poo!



Charlotte xx



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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Monday, 5th July, 1976



Lily flower, the light of my life, the apple of my eye, the bulge in my...I could go on...



How are you my flower? Are you missing me yet?



Since we parted company on Tuesday morning, I have been distraught without you. I cannot eat (as much as usual) and I cannot sleep (until a half an hour after I usually do). The absence of your fiery locks and dazzling green eyes has caused an un-fillable void in my life, and believe me, it is un-fillable, I've tried everything, pancakes, steak, chicken, etc, etc.



Anyway, you may wonder why I am writing to you. Your dear friend Charlotte (you must ask her to be a bridesmaid for us when we get married) told me that you would be rather bored this summer, so I decided to shower you with declarations of adoration to amuse you. Thoughtful, aren't I?



I would ask you to write back, but I have a hunch that you won't, so I might as well tell you now that I'm going to keep writing to you until you crack and write back, and you can tell me to bugger off if you want, but you know as well as I do that that only succeeds in arousing me.



So, until next time, you beautiful temptress you,



James Potter



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Letter from Lily Evans to Charlotte Appleby.. Monday, 5th July, 1976



I am going to kill you.



Pray tell me, what gave you the idea to suggest to Potter the idiot that he should contact me? Have you had a temporary lapse of sanity? Have you conveniently forgotten that I find him about as amusing as Vermin’s hairy hands (which are downright disturbing)? I have to now face a summer full of annoying ramblings from Potter. If I didn't love you so much, Charlotte Appleby, I'd hate you.



I am sharpening my butcher knives for September 1st,



Lily Evans x (and the x is given grudgingly)



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Letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Monday, 5th July, 1976



Potter, the bane of my existence,



In answer to your question, I was fine until I opened your letter.



As delighted as I am over the fact that pancakes cannot substitute for me, I must refrain from screaming in delight, apparating to your house and ravishing you on sight, and instead stab myself in the eye with knitting needles.



Bugger off,



Lily Evans



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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Wednesday, 7th July, 1976



You wrote back! I knew you love me!



Don't stab yourself in the eye with knitting needles, your eyes are so beautiful, it would be a sad waste, although I'm flattered that you would go so far to resist temptation. I never knew you wanted me that much. Would that be why you pushed me up against the wall in May, hmm? And here was me thinking that you were just trying to knee me in the groin... you should have said Lily..



I must admit that the thought of you apparating to my house to ravish me sent me straight to the seventh heaven of delight. You've made my week.



Have I ever told you that you're unbelievable stunning when you shout at me? And also, you have nice legs.



Love,



James Potter xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx



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Letter from Charlotte Appleby to Lily Evans.. Thursday, 8th July, 1976



Lily my dear,



I was only thinking of you when I wrote to Potter. My fear that you would spontaneously combust took a forceful hold of me, and I panicked. I figured that if you had Potter to vent your anger on, you'd make it through the summer. That and I know you fancy him rotten!



France is lovely and sunny. There are also an array of beautiful men to feast my eyes on. You should be here Lily, the French boys would go wild over your hair, your eyes, and your skin, you lucky cow. Although in hindsight, bringing you would be a waste, as you would spurn them all. We all know by now that your heart has been captured by a certain messy haired, hazel eyed Quidditch player named James Potter... and before you protest, I might as well tell you this when you can't see me..



You love him! Sorry my darling, but it's obvious. You two have so much fire between you; I'm surprised that sparks haven't literally flown from your eyes whenever you're around him.



Anyway, I think I will go take a swim now.



Oh yes, I know I'm rubbing it in, but I might as well have fun before I die..



Love you,



Char xx



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Letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Friday, 9th July, 1976



I hate you,



Lily Evans



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Letter from Lily Evans to Charlotte Appleby.. Friday, 9th July, 1976



Words cannot describe how many things were wrong with your last letter.



I do not fancy him rotten. I admit he may be attractive, and yes, he has stopped bullying Slytherins, and yes, you could say that we have formed, for want of a better word, a friendship of sorts, but I do not fancy him, and I definitely do not love him.



So there, I'm sticking my tongue out at you right now,



Love, Lily xx



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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Saturday, 10th July, 1976



Sorry about the short delay in writing back, my dear,



No you don't.



James Potter.



xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx



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Letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Saturday, 10th July, 1976



Potter,



You're right, I don’t hate you, and I'm a big enough person to admit that I feel bad about saying that.



I still want you to bugger off, however.



Lily Evans



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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Sunday, 11th July, 1976



No can do, I'm afraid.



Charlotte tells me that your sister is dating an obese terror who is making life difficult for you. Want me to come and beat him up? I will do without any hesitation, a knight must protect his princess, you know.



I've been keeping your replies in my bedside table, tied up in a ribbon. Padfoot says that I'm homosexual for doing so. I punched him for insinuating that you were masculine in any way. Has he not seen your beautiful curves? Curves that have been known to drive many of the male students of Hogwarts wild with lust, myself included. His response was that maybe I was latently homosexual. I think you should tell him off.



I'm sending you 2141 kisses, one for every day I've known you, you beautiful, beautiful woman.



James P x(x 2141)



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Letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Sunday, 11th July, 1976



Potter,



What has Charlotte been telling you? I can deal with my sister’s boyfriend myself, thank you very much.



I'm disturbed that you would keep my replies wrapped up in a ribbon. Rather stalkerish, don't you think? I have also decided not to reply to the comment you made about my body, I'd rather store up the anger and castrate you when we get back.



I'm sending you 2141 slaps, one for each day I've known you.



Lily Evans



P.S. Tell Sirius that if he ever implies that again, I'll castrate him too. LE



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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Monday, 12th July, 1976



My love,



What are you wearing?



James xx



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Letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Monday, 12th July, 1976



My loathing,



Is sex all you think about? I was just curious.



Lily Evans



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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Tuesday, 13th July, 1976



Lily,



Most of the time, it is, but I have been known to have quite serious thoughts.



For example, I would love nothing more than to wrap my arms around you when you feel sad, brush your hair for you when you're tired, bring you cups of tea when you're feeling sick, or hold your hand under the table during breakfast, just so you know I'm there (Obviously I would hold your left hand with my right, so you would still be able to eat).



See, it must be love Evans, I'd give up food for you...



Or I could feed you, I suppose (wink wink),



James Potter xxx



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Letter from Charlotte Appleby to Lily Evans.. Wednesday, 14th July, 1976



Bonjour!



How has it been for you at home? I miss you so much now, France is starting to get boring without you.



I hope Petunia hasn't been giving you a hard time or anything.



Just to warn you, I told James about Vernon, and Petunia. He got quite upset about it, but I warned him not to mention it to you. He really cares about you Lily, you know that. He hates the thought of anyone treating you the way she does.



I had a horrible experience in Paris yesterday.. I dropped my wand, my wand, off the top of the Eiffel Tower, which was a great way to be discreet. Anyway, it fell, hit some kind of food stall and shot sparks at some innocent little child... It was so funny! Of course, mum didn't see it that way, and she gave me a right combing down for it, but it was just so funny at the time, and I really wished you were there...



Anyway, I have to go now, I promise my next letter will be long, mum keeps dragging me and dad off to stupid sights..



You want the Potter love,



Charlotte xx



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Letter from Lily Evans to Charlotte Appleby.. Wednesday, 14th July, 1976

Bonjour indeed,

I would berate you for telling Potter about Vermin, but I don't have the energy.

Things are ok here at the moment. Petunia and Vernon went to Sheffield to meet Vernon’s parents and sister yesterday, so they'll be gone for a few days. I'm still bored as arse though. It's awful staying here for the holidays now, all of my old friends have moved on, they all think I go to Eton, and I wouldn’t know what to say to them anymore, so it's rather lonely. We've only been into our hols for two weeks and I'm dying for seventh year. I sound like a right swot, don't I?

Don't complain about sightseeing, do you have any idea how much I want to go to Paris? You missy, do not appreciate culture! And I can't believe you managed to drop your wand off the Eiffel tower, what exactly were you trying to do? Immobilize pigeons? Baton practice? The inner workings of your mind confuse me.

Potter sent me a very sweet little letter yesterday, and I might as well be honest with you Char, I'm glad he's writing to me. At least his ramblings provide a release from boredom, and thinking up smart replies take up some time too. So I suppose I should thank you.

I know you're going to rub what I just said in my face when you get back.

Love,

Lily xx

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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Friday, 16th July, 1976

Lilykins,

Methinks that my last letter rendered you speechless. I would giggle, but it's not very manly, is it?

Your adoring, as always,

James Potter

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Letter from James Potter to Penelope Evans.. Saturday, 17th July, 1976

Dear Mrs. Evans,

You do not know me, but I felt compelled to write to you.

My name is James Potter. I will not be so arrogant as to presume that your daughter may have mentioned me to you, because she doesn't like me very much, so just in case she hasn't...

I'm a Gryffindor in Lily's year in Hogwarts, that’s all you really need to know about me. You've probably seen me before on the platform. I'll refresh your memory. I'm the devilishly handsome bloke who picked up your handbag when you dropped it two weeks ago.

Anyway, the reason I'm writing to you, Penny (can I call you Penny?), is because I owe you a gigantic thank you. Why, you may ask?

For Lily, of course.

Your beautiful, intelligent, vivacious and charming daughter has been the only source of sunshine in my dreary old life for the past six years. Her mere presence is enough to render me deliriously happy, her smile enchants me, her eyes dazzle me, and even though she yells at me every time I encounter her, I feel like I have been bestowed the greatest honor on earth when she does. I am a mere minion who worships the ground she walks on. I am hopelessly in love with her.

Therefore I would like to thank you for giving the world your daughter. I bow down at your feet, I humbly deposit myself for your scrutiny. I would thank your husband, but he is a rather large man, who, as I gather, is very protective of Lily, and I fear he would try to kill me. You may think I'm a cheeky sod for writing to you like this, but I feel you need to know that you have created an angel, although you're probably aware of that already. How anyone could know Lily and not adore her senseless, I do not know.

Alas, I must retire now. My mummy wants me to wash the dishes. You have my sincere respect and admiration,

James Potter

P.S. I fully intend to marry your daughter.

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Letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Satuday, 17th July, 1976

Potter,

Firstly, don't call me Lilykins.

Secondly, don't try to charm me.

Thirdly, you will never, ever, feed me anything but the crap you feed me now.

Fourthly, I wasn't rendered.. GAH!

You may wonder what the above GAH! was for, Potter. I will tell you. As I was writing that sentence, my mother came in and showed me a very interesting letter she received earlier.

I am going to knee you in the balls when we get back, Potter.

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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Sunday, 18th July, 1976

Lily, my love,

I like your knees, they are very pretty. It heartens me that you think my balls worthy of being abused by your beautiful knees.

James xxx

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Letter from Lily Evans to Charlotte Appleby.. Monday, 19th July, 1976

Charlotte, I'm going mad.

Potter wrote a letter to my mother.

My mother!

Apparently, he's going to marry me.

He wrote the biggest amount of crap I have ever heard, sent it to her, and now she bloody adores him! I'm serious! She thinks he's wonderful. She came running into the room to show me the letter, and then bombarded me with questions, such as 'Why on earth do you dislike him, he's a darling!'.

Oh, I'll just send a copy of the letter, and let you see for yourself.

Do you want to know the worst part Char?

Well, I can't tell you.

Lily xx

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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Tuesday, 20th July, 1976

Lily dear,

Is there a reason you're not writing back to me?

James Potter x

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Letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Tuesday, 20th July, 1976

I'm ignoring you,

Lily Evans

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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Wednesday, 21st July, 1976

Why'd you write back to me then?

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Letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Wednesday, 21st July, 1976

To tell you I'm ignoring you.

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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Thursday, 22nd July, 1976

So, why'd you reply to that one too?

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Letter from Lily Evans to Sirius Black.. Friday, 23rd July, 1976

Make Potter shut up, please.

How are you by the way? And Remus and Peter too, if they're there.

Lily Evans.

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Letter from Sirius Black and Remus Lupin to Lily Evans.. Saturday, 24th July, 1976

Lily,

How are you, old chap? I'm spiffing.

James is a free spirit, and can do as he pleases. It is not my place to make him shut up. As you are a ferocious campaigner for elf rights, I would have thought that you, of all people, believed that all living creatures have the right to free speech. You should be ashamed of yourself. Fie on you!

Sirius Black.

--

To Lily,

How are you?

I'm staying with James and Sirius at the moment, as you obviously would have gathered, since me and Sirius are sharing the same parchment.

I'm doing well at the moment. Full moon's coming up, and I can't say I'm looking forward to that. Mostly I've just been hanging about with these two, and trying to stop Prongs from offending you when he writes to you. Honestly Lily, if you think the letters you get are bad, you should see what I convinced him not to write. I didn’t know about the letter to your mum, however. I can assure you that I would have stopped him. Although no harm seems to be done. She wrote back to him and she seems to like him. It made his day.

Write back, it's always nice to speak to you,

Remus

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Letter from Charlotte Appleby to Lily Evans.. Saturday, 24th July, 1976

Lily,

I took a break from laughing my arse off to write this to you.

I was just about to affix a reply to your other letter, when Waffle came sailing in the window, so I thought, I'll just reply to both.

It's good that you're happy Potter wrote to you, he's such a lovely bloke.

I can't believe he wrote to your mother! The vile cretin!

He he, I know I'm horrible, look at me contradicting myself!

Potter is a genius! Marry him and have Potter babies!

I found his letter to your mummy adorable. Oh Lily pie, he loves you! And now he has Penny on his side, you might as well give in and let him deflower you. (Ha!)

My poor baby, I wish I could give you a hug and make up for the absence of friends, but most unfortunately, I have to go to the Notre Dame cathedral, and then join my parents for a cruise on the French Riviera. Oh, the torture I must endure! You can't see me but I am throwing my hands over my eyes in quite a dramatic fashion...

J'adore you, my dear,

Charlotte xx

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Letter from Lily Evans to Charlotte Appleby.. Sunday, 25th July, 1976

Charlotte, my bestest best friend,

Have you noticed the tone of our letters are getting gradually more informal?

Let's tackle your last letter one by one, shall we?

I hope you managed to reattach your arse, you'll probably need it one day.

Waffle is a nice owl. I love him so.

As for Potter, I am severely annoyed with him at the moment. So much so that I am going to chop his unmentionables off and puree them with mangoes. Therefore, it would be quite impossible for me to have Potter babies. My mother is probably picking out my wedding dress already, but she wants grandchildren, so she'll drop it.

How unfortunate that you are in Paris. You are now rubbing it in so much that I'm surprised I don't actually have the word 'Paris' smeared all over my face.

J'adore you too,

Lily xx

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Letter from Lily Evans to Remus Lupin.. Sunday, 25th July, 1976

Dear Remus,

Hello! I'm glad to hear you are doing well, and I'm even gladder to write to you. Intellectual conversation at last!

Thank you for protecting my delicate eyes from Potter nonsense, what would I do without a friend like you? How is everything in Potterland anyway? Can I hazard a guess? At this precise moment in time, Sirius is sitting somewhere, staring out from beneath his fringe and pouting darkly, and Potter is eating.

I'm good, aren't I?

Charlotte is in France at the moment, and I am horribly bored. Do you have any idea when we will be getting our letters from Hogwarts? I still can't believe you actually told Dumbledore you would refuse Head Boy-ship if you were offered. You'd be so good at it Remus, everyone respects you so much.

I must finish now. I can see an owl at the window.

Love,

Lily

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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Sunday, 25th July, 1976

Evans,

Please write back, please write back, please write back?

See what you have me doing you wretched woman, I'm begging.

James Potter

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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Tuesday, 27th July, 1976

I'm really really sorry...

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Letter from Sirius Black to Lily Evans, Wednesday, 28th July, 1976

Prongs tried to drown himself in a basin full of dishwater yesterday. We think you've finally broken him. Who knows what he may do next? We fear he may be planning death by papercuts.

It is up to you to end this child's suffering.

James was a quiet baby...

Sirius Black

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Letter from Lily Evans to James Potter, Wednesday, 28th July, 1976

James,

Don't drown yourself.

I've been forced to come to the conclusion that I'd be terribly distraught if you died.

So write away, I rather miss you,

Lily Evans.

Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Thursday, 29th July, 1976

Lily,

No, you've ruined it now. The magic is gone, and I’m wounded.

Yours with undying love,

James Potter

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Letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Thursday, 29th July, 1976

James,

I feel it's my duty to inform you that your 'cutting' letter was rather ruined by the 'undying love' part.

I am not going to cave in and grovel just to make you 'forgive' me (my, aren't I using a lot of 'these') so you really should change tack. You were the one who humiliated me by writing to my mother, or has that slipped your miniscule mind? Although I must say that it was funny. I'd write back if I were you Potter, I won't be in this complimentary mood for long.

Lily

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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Friday, 30th July, 1976

Lily,

Of course I forgive you, my love!

You called me James! Twice! You have no idea of the dizzy heights of euphoria I reached when reading my name in your beautiful handwriting. From now on, whenever I feel disheartened, I will just read that letter you sent me on Wednesday, and console myself with the fact that one day you will be:

1) Screaming my first name (I hope you get the innuendo, it’s infinitely more difficult to be suggestive when I can’t raise my eyebrows at you)

b) Signing all your letters with ‘Lily Potter’

3) I cannot think of a third one at the moment, so I will instead tell you that you have beautiful lips

Love,

James ‘your future hubby’ Potter

xxxxxxxx

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Letter from Charlotte Appleby to Lily Evans.. Friday, 30th July, 1976

Dear Lily,

I'm coming home!

I know, I know, we're not supposed to be going home for another three weeks, but my mum got food poisoning! How lucky am I?

That sounds rather insensitive, doesn't it?

Anyway, she's ill, and she wants to come back home. You know my mum, she doesn't trust foreign doctors, and she won't let dad take her to a Healer. I think she's a bit miffed because my aunty Leanne had her twins before we left and she never got to see them. But who bloody cares, we're coming home on the 31st. You can come and stay! As soon as mum stops throwing up everywhere, I don't really want you to see that.

By the way, the thought of Potters unmentionables and pureed mangoes put me right off my escargot and I was very angry with you. But then mum told me that escargot were snails, and plus, that's what we think gave her the food poisoning, so I think I owe you and Potter's unmentionables a thank you. Will you thank his unmentionables for me? I'm sure he'd appreciate it more if you did.

I'm going to go pack, I'll see you soon, my pretty!

Charlotte xx

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Letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Friday, 30th July, 1976

Potter,

Oh, you make me laugh.

I don't know what was more amusing, the way your list was in the format 1), b) and 3) or the actual contents of the list. Or maybe it's just the thought of you raising your eyebrows at a piece of parchment.

You are a hopeless arse, has anyone ever told you that?

Maybe we could talk about something not related to your raging hormones?

Lily

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Letter from Lily Evans to Charlotte Appleby.. Friday, 30th July, 1976

Hurrah!

I'm sorry, I know that I shouldn't say that, but I'm so glad you're coming home. I missed you so much. I can't believe it's been almost a month since I've seen you!

I forgave Potter for writing to my mum. It's hard to stay angry with him for long. He's too bloody funny.

Petunia came home from Vernon’s looking as if she was coming back to prison after a week of parole. Vermin is staying with his sister for a while, so at least I'm rid of him now.

This letter is probably not even going to reach you, is it? It'll probably land on some unsuspecting child in the middle of Paris, with any luck, the same child who was hit by your wand sparks.

Write to me as soon as you get home!

Love you,

Lily x

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Letter from Remus Lupin to Lily Evans.. Saturday, 31st July, 1976

Dear Lily,

I had to laugh when I got your last letter. It turns out, when I read it, James and Sirius were doing exactly what you said they would be doing. I told them, and Sirius mumbled something about a lucky guess, but James is now convinced that you two have a special mind bond. He's sitting across from me at the table now, writing what is probably a tenth draft of a letter which I would bet my life is probably going to be addressed to you. It's quite funny actually.

I heard that Charlotte was going to France. She's lucky. I was in the south of France before and it is beautiful. I suppose you miss her terribly. James is desperate to invite you over for the day, but he knows that you'll refuse, so he bites his tongue. Literally. It was bleeding yesterday.

I already told you what I think about being Head Boy Lily. It's not that I don't want to, but I'm just too tired as it is, and what with the N.E.W.T.S next year, I won't have time to study, and be Head Boy. If it wasn't for, for want of a better description, my 'furry little problem' I'd jump at the chance. I know you'll understand that.

I'm sure you'll write back, so talk to you soon,

Remus.

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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Sunday, 1st August, 1976

Lily,

First of all, that list mistake was deliberate. At least, that's my story and that's what I'm sticking to.

Secondly, I can talk about stuff not relating to my own hormones. What would you like to talk about? I seem to recall us having some fairly normal conversations last year.

I don't really have any news, except that I thought Sirius was glaring at me yesterday, but it turns out he was just trying to look directly at the sun.

He would write and say hello, but at the moment, his corneas have been burned out.

James xx

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Unsent letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Sunday, 1st August, 1976

Potter,

I don't know. I suppose we could talk about the fact that I can't bloody stop thinking about you.

Or the fact that the only reason I didn't want to write to you this summer was because I was hoping that if I stayed away from you, I could get over you.

Or the fact that I think you're gorgeous, and funny, and rather nice.

Or the fact that I'm really glad we called a truce last year, because now I can have normal conversations with you.

Or the fact that I look forward to your letters, I get annoyed if you don't reply the day after I write back and I keep them under my pillow.

Or the fact that I really, really miss you.

Luckily for me, I'm going to burn this letter, and you are never, ever going to see it.

Lily

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Actual letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Sunday, 1st August, 1976

James,

Well, I don't know. What do you, no, actually, scratch that. If I ask you what you want to talk about, you'll say you don't know, and ask me, and I'll ask you, and we'll keep going in circles.

I suppose I could use your advice on something. Petunia is being really horrible, and I really want to hex her, but I can't.

As the apparent prank master of the school, can you advise anything? And yes, before you die of surprise, Lily Evans is asking for your help to pull off a prank.

Lily

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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Monday, 2nd August, 1976

To Lily,

It's best we don't go in circles then!

I do have an idea to deal with your sister, but you have to promise me that if I tell you, you'll give me a hug.

What is she doing to be horrible? I'm just curious. Why would anyone want to be horrible to their own sister? Especially when said sister is you. Although that said, I'm glad you're not my sister. I think that being in love with your own sister may be frowned upon.

My dad brought me into the Ministry the other day, and I met some of the people who will be training us when we go into the Auror program. They went over the first year of the course with me, and it looks pretty easy. You'll be more than able to handle it anyway. It's pretty basic Defense, although you have to know a lot about human transfiguration, so if you need any more help with that, give me a shout, although I think you got it last year. My dad wants to meet you now. He wants to know all of my friends who are interested in becoming an Auror, and since he already knows Padfoot, that only leaves you.

Don't worry, I'm not inviting you over or anything! I was just thinking that maybe we could all go to Diagon Alley on the same day, or something, where we could indulge in a completely harmless, purely platonic day of shopping for school books.

Although, you never know...

James xx

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Letter from Charlotte Appleby to Lily Evans.. Monday, 2nd August, 1976

Lily,

Oh Merlin, you will not believe what happened!

We got home yesterday, and I found out that my forty two year old mother is pregnant! As in with child. As in, my wrinkly old parents are in their forties and are still going at it...

I think I'm going to vomit all over the place.

Cheer me up, Lily my dear. Please!

Charlotte xx

P.S. How wrong is that!

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Letter from Lily Evans to Charlotte Appleby.. Tuesday, 3rd August, 1976

To Char,

Wrong. Wrong on so many, many levels.

Does this mean that Charlotte Appleby, the girl who is famously spoiled rotten, is going to be an only child no longer?

I'm sorry, but I must laugh at your predicament!

How can you not be happy about this? I'd love a little brother or sister, probably a brother, sisters are awful. And this is suddenly reminding me of something Potter said that worried me.

Can I ask you a question Char? A serious one? I know this is going to sound a bit insane, but do you think that Potter really does like me? It was just something he said in one of his letters. He just casually said that he was in love with me, and I don't know, I can't stop thinking about it. One minute I think he does, and the next I'm convinced that it has to be a joke. Has he ever said anything to you about it? I know you've been writing to him.

I'm just curious, that’s all.

Lily xx

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Letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Tuesday, 3rd August, 1976

James,

That sounds like a plan, I suppose.

Yes, I'll hug you. It's quite funny really Potter. You should have asked for a snog. As I am that desperate to exact revenge on my dear sister, I might have agreed to it.

But no matter, eh?

Lily x

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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Wednesday, 4th August, 1976

Lily, Lily, Lily,

I shake my head in fond exasperation.

If you want to snog me, you don't have to drop hints like that. Just grab me and do it. I assure you it would be quite a nice surprise, and I promise that you'll enjoy it. And don't berate me for what I just said, you can't honestly expect me not to respond to that last letter any differently, you fiery little tease.

To annoy your sister, put a little bit of fiberglass in her bed. It'll get under her skin and itch for days, and she won't know what it is. Believe me, it will drive her to the point of suicide.

I will get you one day, Lily my flower. I plan to have those beautiful lips on mine by the end of the year. No, not the school year, this year, as in 1976.

I advise you not to try fight it Lily. Don't blame yourself. It's only natural that you have these feelings for me...

James xxx (that little 'x' you sent me did not go unnoticed)

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Letter from Charlotte Appleby to Lily Evans.. Wednesday, 4th August, 1976

To Lily, my ex best friend,

You laugh at me! I'm hurt!

How would you feel if you knew your parents were bonking? It's not nice. I feel like I've been abused.

You know, for someone who hates Potter, you spend a lot of time talking about him...

Just pointing out the obvious there...

Charlotte..

P.S. Do you want to come and stay in mine next week? You may have to overhear my parent’s steamy sessions...

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Letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Thursday, 5th August, 1976

Wow Potter, your humor never fails to delight me. It fascinates me that your brain seems to tell you something completely different from reality.

Tell me, have you ever considered seeing a consultant psychologist?

Lily Evans (and thanks for the fiberglass idea)

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Letter from Lily Evans to Charlotte Appleby.. Thursday, 5th August, 1976

Charlotte,

Yes! I would love to come and stay! Thank you so much! You’ve just saved my life in more ways than one, although Petunia is being slightly more bearable now, thanks to Potter.

And while we're on the subject of Potter...

I fancy him Char. Are you happy now? Would you like me to tattoo it to my forehead? Does is please you to know that for the last six months I've wanted to throw myself on him and beg him to lie on top of me every time I see him?

I hope it does, because it bloody disturbs me.

Help me Char, I'm clearly insane.

Lily xx

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Letter from Charlotte Appleby to Lily Evans, Saturday, 7th August, 1976

Um, Lily, sweetheart?

Why did you send me a letter addressed to Potter?

Unless, of course, I changed my name, and suddenly show signs of needing a psychologist.

Am I missing something here, or did you just put the wrong letters in the wrong envelopes, because the envelope has my name on it.

I hope you didn't say anything mean about him.

Write back and tell me about staying, anyway,

Char xx