She quite liked her white cotton knickers. They were simple, not too showy, and got the job done rather nicely she thought.

Lily was very simple herself. She didn’t like to fuss about with things suck as make-up or clothes. Of course, she wore clothes, but they were practical.

Just like Lily.

Being a prefect, she felt it was her duty to set a good example. She didn’t like to stand out in a crowd for being different, or have any type of attention drawn to her, unless it was that of a teacher who was praising her for another high test score.

As a matter of fact, Lily couldn’t stand when people sought out attention for themselves. Especially when the attention ended up on her as well.

Which is the very reason that Lily Evans had her knickers in a twist that very moment.

The particular pair she was wearing was indeed white, as well as cotton. But it, along with every last pair of knickers in her drawer, had something new on it.

How he did it, she couldn’t figure out. She of course knew exactly who did it. There was only one person who would even fathom going after Lily’s unmentionables.

James Potter.

He was responsible for each and every past time that Lily’s had her knickers in a twist. He was quite good at twisting her knickers in fact, figuratively speaking (of course).

Lily had gone straight for Tia’s bed. She ripped back the curtains, only to find it empty.

Oho, she thought, the little tart’s in on it too, eh?

Her eyes were so narrowed in anger that it was surprising she made it to the Great Hall, what with barely being able to see.

Potter and his gang were no where to be found. She realized why as the clock began to chime.

Lily stalked off the Transfiguration, biting into a cold piece of toast with renewed vigor.

The classroom was buzzing with conversation. Remus walked in, a wounded look on his face. He went to the middle of the room to take his usual seat next to his friends.

“What did you do to Evans now, mate?” Remus asked, as he slid into his seat next to Tia.

She was hard at work, copying notes that were written in handwriting not unlike Lily’s.

James, who had been adamantly arguing with Sirius about obscure quidditch facts, was suddenly quiet as he turned to Remus.

“Er, what do you mean?” he asked, hesitating.

“Well, I mean she nearly took out my shoulder a few minutes ago on her way to breakfast. I can only assume she was looking for you, seeing as how she had ‘the look’ plastered to her face,” Remus said, rubbing his right shoulder. “She hits like a bloke.”

Tia started copying the notes faster.

“Don’t look now mate, but she’s just come in the room,” Sirius said quietly, eyes on the red-head who had just entered.

James whipped around towards the door.

“What part of ‘don’t look now’ do you not understand?” Sirius asked.

With a loud thud, Lily dropped her knapsack on her desk in the front row, as she walked back to James.

Tia was scribbling so fast now the quill was squeaking against the parchment.

Lily was closing in on James, eyes glaring, finger pointed.

“Oi, Evans! What’s got your knickers in a twist?” Sirius asked, a smile playing on his lips.

James dropped his head into his hands, groaning.

Tia flipped to the second page of notes, and wrote even more furiously.

Remus took in the scene, waiting for Lily to pounce on James.

“Is there a problem, Miss Evans?” Professor McGonagall shut the classroom door with a loud bang, and walked to her desk.

Lily turned towards the professor.

“No ma’am, no problem yet.” Lily answered.

“Let’s keep it that way, shall we?” Professor McGonagall began pulling books out of her bag. “Take your seat now, Miss Evans.”

Lily turned back toward James, but looked over his shoulder.

“Notes, now,” she snapped.

“But Lily, I had nothing to do with-” Lily cut Tia off.

“Now, Tia!” Tia stuck her tongue out at Lily and handed her the notes.

“Cow,” Tia muttered under her breath.

Lily turned and stalked back to her desk.

“Thanks James, you berk,” Tia said to James, who was wiping perspiration off his forehead.

“Shut it, Tia!” James said.

“Mr. Potter! Are you certain that there is nothing going on that I should be aware of?” Professor McGonagall asked, sounding more amused than angry.

“Er, no professor. No problem, everything’s fine,” James answered meekly.

Lily sniffed loudly in the front row.

McGonagall’s eyes went from James to Lily, back to James, and then shifted to Sirius.

Sirius’ shoulders were shaking, tears rolling down his (very handsome) face.

Tia quickly looked down at her half finish notes and began writing gibberish to avoid McGonagall’s eyes.

Remus sat still, shaking his head.

The room was silent, but for Sirius’ sudden snort and Lily’s loud tutting.

“Mr. Black, please share with me what you have found to be so funny,” McGonagall said, arms crossed.

“Actually professor,” Sirius choked out, “I’d rather not say, as it concerns Miss Evans’ unmentionables.” He didn’t try to hide his laughter any longer.

James banged his head against his desk.

Tia dropped under her own desk, to retrieve the quill she had strategically dropped.

Remus watched as Tia searched for her quill, amused at her quick thinking to avoid McGonagall.

“Perhaps, Mr. Black, you would be more comfortable sharing this with the headmaster. All of you,” McGonagall said.

Lily slammed her book shut, grabbed her knapsack, and was out the door before James had even looked up.

Tia rubbed the top of her head which she had hit on the underside of her desk from coming up too quickly. “But professor! I had nothing-” she was cut off for the second time.

“Save it, Spencer,” McGonagall said.

Tia, James, and Sirius gathered their books and headed for the door.

“You to, Mr. Lupin.”

“But professor-I-” Remus looked at her, shocked.

“Someone needs to make sure Evans doesn’t kill Potter before they reach the headmaster’s office,” she said. Remus could have sworn he saw her smile.

“Lemon drop,” Lily barked at the gargoyle, outside of the headmaster’s office. She stomped up the stairs, the others just arriving.

“Look Tee, if you let her get up a ways, you can follow behind and get a glimpse of her knickers!” Sirius cried out gleefully.

A well aimed textbook whizzed past his head, his quidditch reflexes saving him from certain pain.

“Oi, Prongsie, she’s in a right state! Throwing her precious books!” Sirius would’ve doubled over in laughter but Tia pulled him up the stairs.

If Professor Dumbledore had heard any of the commotion on the stairwell, he had on a very convincing look of surprise as Lily stormed into his office, failing to knock. She dropped her knapsack at one of the five chairs in front of his desk, and sat down.
Apparently, he had heard them coming.

“Miss Evans, what a nice surprise. To what do I owe such a pleasant greeting?” He asked, eyes twinkling.

The others trudged in after her, Sirius trying unsuccessfully to stifle his laughter. James walked toward a chair next to Lily, who was sitting right in the middle, stopped, and decided to sit next to her anyway. Remus came along the other side of Lily and sat next to her, handing her the textbook.

“You, er, dropped this,” he said to her.

Tia looked at Sirius and then made a beeline for the empty chair next to Remus, figuring it was the safest. Sirius slapped James on the back and kept on laughing as he sat in the last remaining chair.

Professor Dumbledore chuckled as he watched the five students sitting in front of him.
”Licorice whip?” he asked, offering them a bowl of said candy.

Sirius was the first to reach in, and then proceeded to stuff them in his mouth. No one else was taking any, so Tia held back, but then decided it might be nice to have a snack as she watched the show.
Lily tutted again.

“Lily, I swear, I had nothing to do with him and your unmentionables! I never join in on his feeble attempts to win your icy cold heart,” Tia said.

Lily stared at her.

“Oh, well alright, fine. You’re right, I did put that picture of him on your canopy, but how was I to know he’d charmed it to whistle at you while you were in there?” Tia said, chewing on the licorice. “It was a right smart spell, you have to admit.”

Sirius nearly choked on his licorice whip. James slapped him on the back, rather hard.
“Sorry, sorry. It’s just that I had forgotten about that one. It was a good spell, wasn’t it?” Sirius laughed, eyes watering from both choking and laughing.

“Mr. Lupin, would be so kind as to inform me as to why the five of you are sitting here in my office and not in class?” Dumbledore asked. It seemed as though he was snickering, although he could have just been chewing.

“Well sir, I am not quite sure myself, other than it apparently involves Lily’s, er, unmentionables,” Remus blushed. He was rather glad that they did not have rounds together later that night.

“Right then. Mr. Potter? Mr. Black? Care to enlighten me?” Dumbledore asked the boys.

James looked down at his hands, which were folded in his lap. Sirius tried, and again was unsuccessful to hide his laughter.

“Well sir, you see, it does involve Evans and her unmentionables. We, well, we nicked her knickers,” Sirius explained frankly.

It was Tia’s turn to choke on her licorice whip. Remus pounded on her back as the laughed and choked.

Lily pulled out her wand and pointed at Sirius. Remus grabbed Lily’s wrist with the hand that was not currently being used on Tia, before Lily could get the spell out.

“And how exactly did you get these unmentionables, Mr. Black?” Dumbledore proceeded, ignoring the girls and Remus.

“We, er, we…um, flew. Yah, that’s it. Well, I flew, on my broomstick of course, seeing as I am a better flyer than ol’ Prong-er, James, here, and that is how I was able to get ‘em. The unmentionables, of course,” Sirius added.

“And then what did you do with them?” Dumbledore prodded.

“Oh I didn’t do anything. That was all Pron-er, James here and his E in Charms, that was. He really does know his stuff. Quite brilliant. Right up there with Evans, you know?” Sirius boasted.

“And what were these unmentionables charmed to do?”

“Sir, I would really rather that not be broadcasted if you don’t mind,” Lily broke in.

“Yes, of course, Miss Evans. And what do you think is a proper punishment for these two?” he asked her.

“Well sir, honestly, I don’t care what happens to them. But I would much appreciate it if I could go into the village and purchase more unmentionables, which is a ridiculous thing to call them, as that is all that is being mentioned. And I want Potter to pay for the new ones, of course,” she added. She seemed to have calmed down considerably, now that she was with the headmaster.

“Fine then. Miss Evans, you may go into Hogsmeade and purchase eh, well, you know. Miss Spencer shall accompany you.”

Tia pumped her fist in the air.

“After classes, of course, Miss Spencer,” Dumbledore finished.

Tia sat back, crestfallen.

“As for Mr. Potter and Mr. Black, I ask that you please stay away from Miss Evans’ unmentionables, and you will be serving detention for the next three nights,” the Professor said.

James and Sirius breathed sighs of relief. Three detentions was nothing.

“You are dismissed. Would you like any more licorice before you go?” Dumbledore offered, the corners of his mouth twitching.

***** ***** *****
Three weeks later, Lily sat in front of the roaring common room fire. With her homework complete and no prefect duties that night, she was relaxing, reading a book.

But more satisfying was the lovely pair of white cotton knickers she was wearing under her robes. She smiled a smile of utmost contentedness.

“LILY, CAN I BORROW A PAIR OF SOCKS?” Tia shouted from upstairs.

“Sure, Tee. Top drawer,” Lily shouted back.

Tia ran over to Lily’s dresser and pulled open the top drawer. She rummaged through, snickering to herself at the sight of the sea of white cotton knickers and the memory of the unmentionable incident. She still had not had any luck in finding out what was done to the first set of knickers, for Lily swore she incinerated all of them, and then threatened James and Sirius with a nasty spell if they dared to speak of it.

She found a nice thick pair of socks, and was taking them out of the drawer when her eyes rested on a disturbing sight. She dropped the socks and let out a small shriek. She blinked her eyes a few times, not believing what was looking back at her.

“No,” she thought, “No way.”

She reached in and pulled out a pair of white knickers. She unfolded them (thinking for a brief second on the absurdity of actually folding knickers, but this was Lily, she reminded herself) and held them up to look at.

Staring back at her from the knickers were two familiar looking eyes.

She snorted with laughter.

James Potter had charmed a picture of himself on Lily Evans’ knickers.