Summary: We all know James and Lily's relationship ended on a Halloween night with two bright green flashes, but how did it begin?
Were they introduced by friends? Did their eyes meet across a crowded room? Did it perhaps start with a small hello? Did they just lay eyes on each other and immediately hate one another?
Or maybe it began with a perfectly timed, destined chance encounter ... a coincidence, as some would say.
Join James and Lily in their Seventh year at Hogwarts as they recollect the times throughout their Hogwarts years that brought them together.
Teensiest bit of AU included, nothing major.
Categories: James/Lily Characters: None
Warnings: Alternate Universe
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 12
Completed: No
Word count: 39575
Read: 40225
Published: 06/01/06
Updated: 10/02/07
1. The Last Train Ride by SummerRain
2. A Destined Coincidence by SummerRain
3. One Mr. Potter by SummerRain
4. It's Not You, It's Me - Part I by SummerRain
5. It's Not You, It's Me - Part II by SummerRain
6. You, of All People by SummerRain
7. The Guessing Game by SummerRain
8. Forever by SummerRain
9. Hiding by SummerRain
10. The Smelly Hippogriff Chip by SummerRain
11. Dare to Dream by SummerRain
12. Through It All by SummerRain
The Last Train Ride by SummerRain
Author's Notes:
Thanks to Moonlight Fairy for her help with this.
I hope you guys like reading this as much as I liked writing it. Please take a moment to review. (Constructive criticism is welcome!) The world will be a better place for it. Mine will be, in the very least. So read a chapter, leave a little review, have a few laughs, and remember, you're making the world a better place. =)
Disclaimer: Jo's my hero ... I'm just wearing the mask, cape, and spandex tights and running around Gothem City for a night.
Lily Evans waved good-bye to her parents a final time before walking confidently towards a solid wall in the middle of King’s Cross Station, pushing a trolley laden with a large trunk in front of her.
As she reached the wall, she shut her eyes and quickened her pace until she heard the sound of a train whistle blowing and students laughing and shrieking as they saw their friends for the first time in months.
“Lily!” someone behind her squealed. Lily turned around to see a tall girl with long, straight blonde hair pushing her way through the crowd.
“Kylie!” Lily shouted back as she threw her arms around her best friend. “How was your summer?”
Kylie shrugged. “It was ok. I’m glad to be back though. How depressing is it that this is our last year?”
Lily smiled. “It is sort of sad, but it’s exciting too. Do you have a compartment?”
Kylie nodded. “Suive moi,” she said and turned and stepped onto the train.
Lily grinned. Ever since Kylie had spent a summer in France, she was always using French phrases for no discernible reason. After a year of asking Kylie to repeat herself in English, Lily picked up on the phrases Kylie used most often, and so followed Kylie onto the train.
The got to the compartment and Lily neatly slid her trunk above the seat.
“Well, I have to go to the Prefects’ Compartment for a meeting. Head Girl, it’s a curse,” Lily apologized. “I should be back in a bit.”
Kylie snorted. “Curse. Abomination, more like. I shudder to think you call yourself a Marauderess. And the leader of us, no less.”
“Well James is Head Boy! And he’s the leader of the Marauders,” Lily argued.
“Just another reason you two are so perfect for each other. Traitorous brown-nosers the both of you,” Kylie muttered.
“See you soon,” Lily laughed and headed off towards the front of the train.
On the way, Lily bumped into one of her good friends Remus Lupin. “Have a good summer?” she asked.
“Yea. James already headed to the Prefects’ Compartment,” Remus told her, answering her unasked question.
Lily smiled at him. “Kylie’s in the sixth compartment from the back,” she said, walking off once more.
Lily reached the compartment and slid the door open to reveal all of the Prefects already assembled. Standing before them was a tall, dark-haired young man with round glasses and a charming smile. Lily smiled at him before entering and beginning the meeting.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Lily and James slid open the compartment door to find all of their friends already there, talking about their summers. Lily glanced around the compartment. There was Sirius Black, with his trademarked black hair and handsome smile, Remus, with light brown hair and ever serious eyes, although his lips always seemed to be twitching into a grin. Then there was Peter Pettigrew. “He’s grown up a lot,” Lily admitted to herself. He had gotten taller, and thinned out, and was no longer the uncertain, pudgy youth he had been in their first years. James plopped himself down next to Sirius, completing the Marauders.
On the opposite seat sat the Marauderesses. Emma, a short, brown-haired girl with piercing blue eyes, Jess, who had lighter colored brown hair and large hazel eyes, and Kylie. Lily sat down across from James and grinned. It was good to be back.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
That evening, after a long Sorting Ceremony and an amazing feast, Lily, Kylie, and Emma were unpacking their things, while trying to help Jess finish last minute homework.
“You know, you really should have done that last night,” Lily said, very Head Girlishly.
Jess’ quill paused for a moment as she looked up and glared at Lily. “Not everyone is as responsible as you are. Now will you please tell me why the Goblin Rebellion is still important today?”
Lily smiled and set her own History of Magic book on the table next to Jess’ homework and flipped to a marked page. “It’s right there. In the highlighted section. Exact answer.”
The only thanks she got was the furious scratching of quill on parchment.
Kylie and Emma watched as Lily returned to her unpacking, practically dancing around the room. Her face was glowing and she was smiling lightly, humming softly to herself.
“So she really loves James, huh?” Emma asked Kylie softly so Lily wouldn’t hear, even though she wouldn’t have cared anyway.
Kylie smiled at Emma, thinking how hard of a fight Lily had put up before finally agreeing to go out with James. “Yeah, she does.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Meanwhile, the Marauders were in their own dormitory, and Sirius and Peter were copying Remus’ History of Magic essay.
“I don’t know why you lot don’t do your homework. It’s not as if you don’t know the answers,” Remus said.
“Aw, but Moony, you like your homework. It’s much easier to let you do it. It would just be a waste of time for us to do it. And we could be doing something much more important, like pranking people,” Sirius whined.
Remus smiled and looked over toward James, who was lying on his bed, playing with a Snitch.
“Did you do the essay, Prongs?” Sirius questioned.
“Uh huh, whatever,” James said, waving his hand in the air.
“He didn’t really hear you,” Peter put in, crossing out his latest sentence. “Probably thinking about Lily.”
“So he really likes her, huh? Like really, head-on, with-his-whole-heart, run-off-and-marry-her, likes her?” Sirius asked Peter and Remus.
“He’s only been after her for five years,” Peter said sarcastically.
Remus smiled. “Yeah. Yeah he does.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The first day of classes was a blur for Marauders and Marauderesses alike. They got their schedules at breakfast in the morning, and scurried from class to class, listening to each teacher give more or less the same speech about working hard and concentrating so they could do well.
Their first break all day was at dinner. The four Marauders walked in to find Lily, Emma, Jess, and Kylie already at the Gryffindor table, piling food onto their plates.
As the four boys sat down, Sirius sighed heavily, James let his head slump forward onto the table, and Peter merely stared off into nothingness.
“What a day,” Remus stated.
The girls nodded, and James grunted in agreement.
“I’m just glad it’s over,” Emma said.
“It’s not over for all of us,” Lily pouted. “You and I have patrol duties already, James.”
James groaned and Kylie and Emma shared a smile.
“Would you rather go alone?” Lily asked him.
James lifted his head. “No, of course not.” He smiled across the table at her.
Sirius rolled his eyes. “Would you two come off it already? You’re not going to get any patrolling done.”
“Oh, bugger off Sirius,” James said, shoving him playfully into Remus, who choked on his pumpkin juice.
Sirius righted himself and slapped Remus on the back a few times. “Don’t die on us, Moony! I’m too young for you to die! You can’t leave me like this! It’s not fair! Cut down in your prime,” he wailed hysterically .
Remus grinned. “You’re an idiot, Padfoot.”
“Well, sure. But honestly, you lot, you would be perfect little school boys it I wasn’t here to keep you out of line,” Sirius said grinning at them.
“Yep, because James never pranks anyone or ever has the best ideas for pranking people,” Lily said, nodding violently in mock agreement of him. She smiled at James as he grinned at her.
Sirius looked at the other Marauderesses, with a hurt look on his face. “None of you are going to stand up for me like that?”
“Nope,” Kylie said.
Emma shook her head no.
“Why bother?” Jess asked.
“Well I would think you being my girlfriend would be reason enough,” Sirius said exasperatedly to Jess.
Jess laughed. “Not for me!”
Sirius hung his head in defeat.
James punched his shoulder lightly. “Don’t get too down on yourself, Padfoot. One day you’ll have a beautiful girl and a fan club just like me!” Lily rolled her eyes at him.
“I have a beautiful girl already,” Sirius said, making Jess blush. “And I do have a fan club!” Just then a large crowd of Gryffindor and Ravenclaw girls walked past giggling like mad, each of them ogling Sirius. He winked at them to prove his point, and a few squealed in delight.
“Point taken,” James said, and dove into his plate of food. Sirius and Peter quickly followed suit.
A Destined Coincidence by SummerRain
Author's Notes:
Thank you to you lovely readers who reviewed. And those who didn't, let's try not to make a pattern of it, shall we? :)
Thank you again to Moonlight Fairy. Where would I be without you? ;)
Disclaimer: Jo's my hero. I'm just wearing the mask, cape, and spandex tights and running around Gothem City for the night ...
Anyway, hope you all enjoy it! Let me know if you did, didn't, or, well, you can go ahead and make up a third option!
Lily stood in the Gryffindor common room, near the bottom of the stairs to the boys' dormitories. Her arms were crossed and she was tapping her foot impatiently. She and James had patrol duties tonight. They were already almost fifteen minutes late.
Suddenly, an angry yell came from up the stairs, followed by a loud crash. A moment later, James came racing down the stairs.
"James, what -"
"No time! Let's go!" he sprinted by her, grabbing her hand and dragging her out the portrait hole.
Once out of the Gryffindor Tower, James and Lily paused just around the corner to catch their breath.
“What,” Lily gasped, “was that all about?”
“Oh, well, uh, I was practicing a spell, and Sirius got in the way, er, sort of,” James grinned at her.
Lily raised her eyebrows. “Would this be a new pranking spell?”
“Mayhaps,” James answered evasively.
Lily giggled and planted a kiss firmly on his lips. “Let’s go. We’re more than ten minutes late already!”
James smiled at her. “Are you always like this? Don’t you ever not do what you’re supposed to?”
Lily grinned mischievously. “Well that usually depends on who I’m with. And what I’m doing. Head duties is not one of those times when I tend to slack off.”
James sighed. “Fine,” he said poutily.
Lily grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hallway.
As they walked down the hall together, James slipped his arm about Lily’s waist and pulled her close. She leaned into him and hugged him.
“I love you,” he whispered into her ear.
“How long have you loved me?” Lily asked him.
“Since Third year. And how long have you loved me?” James joked.
Lily sighed into his chest. “From the beginning.”
James suddenly stopped walking. “Lils, please don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not lying!” she protested.
“Lily, you didn’t even like me until Fifth year, much less love me!”
“I may not have acted like it, but I have always loved you, James.”
“I think you need to explain that a little better,” James said.
“It’s a really long story, James. Can’t you just believe me?” Lily said and she pulled him down the hallway to keep patrolling.
“We have to walk around the whole school for an hour. I think you have time to explain.”
Lily sighed defeatedly. “Ok.” As they walked down the hall, Lily began to tell James about the first day she saw him, and it was like she was reliving a dream.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The train whistle blew and a tiny, eleven-year old girl with bright red hair and piercing green eyes looked at the platform around her. A large scarlet engine was sitting on the tracks, smoke pouring from the chimney. Students of all ages milled around, meeting old friends, and making new ones. Everybody seemed to know everyone else already, but Lily didn’t know anyone.
She was still half expecting to wake up and find out it was all a dream. Wizards weren’t supposed to exist, except in fairy tales, of course. But that’s exactly what a letter she had received said she was. A wizard, with a real magic wand and everything. What was she going to find out next, unicorns and dragons were real too? She had given up on such imaginings when she was young and naïve. Eleven year olds were too old for that sort of thing. Of course, having an older sister didn’t help much. Petunia had always ruined everything for Lily. The Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny. Petunia had told her they were all lies when she was but nine years old, and she began to think the world was a rather horrid place. But when she got her letter, well, that changed a few things.
Lily drew a shaky breath, grabbed an end of her trunk, and began to drag it towards the train. She had hardly gotten her trunk onto the train when the whistle blew again and the train began to pull away slowly. Lily looked down the long hallway, thinking to herself that all the front compartments would be full. And so she began to heave her trunk towards the back.
Lily had hardly gotten a third of the way down the hall when she heard loud, thudding footsteps quickly coming towards her. She dropped her trunk and turned around to see two boys racing towards her.
Both boys looked to be about her age, and both had their wands drawn. One boy had long, dark hair and grayish-eyes. He was already wearing wizard robes. The other boy, wearing jeans and a t-shirt, also had dark hair, although it was shorter, and he wore glasses and had large hazel eyes.
The boys hardly even spared her a glance as they ran past, the boy with gray eyes pushing past her roughly, spinning her around. Lily lost her balance and fell backwards, flailing her arms trying not fall. She hit her head on her trunk and lie on the floor, her head spinning. She blinked a few times and tried to focus on the boys who had stopped running.
“What do you reckon we should do?” the hazel-eyed boy asked.
The other looked around. “Leave her. Someone else will find her. If we get caught we’re already in trouble.”
“But what if she’s hurt?”
“She’ll live! Come on, do you want a detention before we’ve even gotten to the school?” the gray eyed boy asked.
“I guess you’re right,” the boy with glasses consented and they took off running again. The pounding of their feet made Lily feel as if her head were being trod upon.
A moment later, Lily, still lying on the floor, heard softer footsteps coming down the hallway. An older boy with a shiny badge pinned to his chest leaned over her with concern.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
“I think so,” Lily said, sitting up and rubbing the back of her head where she hit the trunk.
“Are you a first year?” the boy questioned.
Lily nodded.
“Here, let’s find you a compartment,” the boy said, and picked up Lily’s trunk. “Follow me.”
Lily stood up and followed the boy down the train as he looked in each compartment and found them all full. Finally they came to one with just a small blonde girl in it.
“Are you a first year?” the boy asked again.
“Yup,” the girl replied.
“Here you are then,” said the boy as he slid Lily’s trunk onto the shelf about the seats. “I’ve got to go. Good luck with your Sorting!” he said, and hurried off.
“I’m Kylie,” the blonde girl offered.
Lily sat down and gingerly felt the back of her head again. “Lily.”
“What’s wrong with your head?” Kylie asked.
“Two boys ran into me and knocked me over.”
“Did they at least say sorry?”
“No,” Lily shook her head. “One of them was nice. He wanted to stay and see if I was ok, but they other wouldn’t let him. Said they were already in trouble for something.”
“Ooh, is the nice one your boy friend?” Kylie giggled.
“No!” Lily said indignantly even as she blushed furiously.
“You’re blushing! You like him!” Kylie teased.
“No I don’t!” Lily said, blushing even more.
“Lily and,” Kylie began to sing, but paused. “What’s this bloke’s name again?”
“Dunno,” Lily shrugged.
“Lily and Mystery guy, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love! Then comes marriage! Then comes the baby in a baby carriage!” Kylie sang.
Lily smiled. “He is sort of cute.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“I remember that!” James said once Lily had stopped talking.
Lily smiled. “So what exactly were you two running from?” she asked, poking his arm.
James shrugged before relating he side of the story to her.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Eleven year old James Potter, sporting round-framed glasses and dark, untidy hair, looked around in wonder. He had just stepped onto Platform 9 ¾ for the first time. He looked up at the tall scarlet engine emitting a cloud of smoke and read the shiny gold letters along its side that spelled out “Hogwart’s Express” happily. Crowds of people milled about the small platform saying good-bye to family members and hello to friends.
James quickly dragged his trunk onto the train so he could get an empty compartment. He found one near the back of the train, slid his trunk onto the shelf, and made his way back to a front compartment, where he stuck his head out the window to wave good-bye to his parents.
As the train began to pull away, James stepped out into the hallway to head back to his compartment, when he collided with something, or someone, and fell backwards. He scrambled up quickly and saw he had collided with a boy about his same age. The boy was tall, with long dark hair, and stormy gray eyes.
“You want to watch who you bump into!” the boy said arrogantly.
“Well I wouldn’t have to watch out if you weren’t taking up the whole hallway!” James retorted.
The other boy drew his wand and held it out menacingly, so James drew his wand as well.
“You don’t know who you’re messing with. I could knock you out with one word if I wanted to!” the boy threatened.
“Oh yeah? Well I could turn you into a goldfish like that!” James said, snapping his fingers to demonstrate how easy it would be.
Just then a Prefect came walking down the hallway. “Hey! What do you think you’re doing?”
“We were uh, we were just talking,” James lied.
“Talking, huh? That’s why you’ve both got your wand drawn and were staring at each other, I suppose?” the Prefect asked sarcastically.
“Yeah, exactly. We were just showing each other our new wands,” Sirius said.
“No, I don’t think so. Come with me, both of you. When we get to Hogwarts, you’re going to see Professor McGonagall.”
The boy looked at James and James looked back at him. They nodded to each other, and suddenly both turned and sprinted down the hallway.
“Oy! Come back here!” the Prefect shouted after them, but they were gone.
As James and the boy ran down the hallway, James saw a girl and a large trunk blocking the way. James swerved around them, but he heard the other boy collide with the girl. James spun around to see the girl fall and hit her head on the trunk.
“What do you reckon we should do?” asked James worriedly.
“Leave her. Someone else will find her. If we get caught, we’re already in trouble,” the boy said, looking around for the Prefect they had been running from.
“What if she’s hurt?” James asked. He didn’t like the idea of just leaving her until someone else came along.
The gray-eyed boy looked at him in disbelief. “She’ll live! Come on, do you want to get a detention before we’ve even gotten to school?”
“I guess you’re right,” James said dubiously.
The boy looked down the hallway back the way they had come. “That stupid Prefect’s coming. Let’s go!”
They both took off running again towards the back of the train. They reached James’ compartment first and slid inside, quickly shutting the door. They sat down opposite each other and took a few deep breaths.
“Could you really turn me into a goldfish that easily?” the boy asked him.
James grinned sheepishly. “No. Not even close. Is it easy to knock someone out?”
The boy shrugged. “Couldn’t tell you if I wanted to. I’ve never done it before. I know the right word for the spell, but that’s about it.”
James and they boy looked at each other and a minute later they were laughing uproariously at their own arrogance.
“James Potter,” James said between laughs, holding out his hand.
“Sirius Black,” said the other, taking James’ hand.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“Pretty smooth getaway,” Lily said sarcastically.
James shrugged. “We didn’t get into trouble. That time, anyway.”
“That’s true, I suppose.”
“But hold on. Was Kylie right, that you liked me, I mean?” James asked.
“Well, duh. That’s the point I was trying to get across by this whole story,” Lily said.
“Well then why did you pretend to hate me?” James wondered.
Lily shrugged. “I was eleven. When you were eleven, what did you do to people you liked?”
“I was mean to them,” James answered.
“Right. And then, it just became a habit. I realized how stupid that idea was in Second year, but by then I was really serious about my studies, and couldn’t have any distractions. So I kept it up,” Lily explained.
“So you never hated me?”
“Never,” she said, shaking her head.
“So why did you pretend!?” James asked, exasperated.
“I already told you that! Billywig,” Lily said laughing, as she climbed into the Gryffindor Common Room.
They flopped onto a sofa to relax a bit after such a long day.
“You know, that was a pretty big coincidence,” James thought out loud.
“What was?” Lily asked.
“How me and Sirius were there. How you just happened to be in the corridor. How we just happened to run into you. And how you just happened to start liking me. And now we’re going out. That’s a pretty big coincidence. What I mean is, what if it was some other girl instead of you in the hallway who we ran into. What if you never liked me at all? We wouldn’t be going out right now. It’s a pretty big coincidence.”
Lily smiled. “Well maybe some coincidences are meant to happen.”
James smiled at her. “That’s pretty deep, Lils.”
“Well, you know. I do what I can.”
James laughed and kissed her forehead.
Lily stretched and yawned. “I’m dead tired. I’m off to bed.” They both stood up.
“I love you,” Lily said, talking a step towards the stairs to the Girls’ Dormitories.
James reached our and caught her hand, spinning her back around. He pulled her up against him and pressed his lips against hers. He pulled away after a few seconds. “I love you too.”
Lily smiled warmly at him before climbing the stairs to her dormitory. James lingered for a moment, staring at the top of the stairs where Lily had last been, before going up to his own dormitory.
One Mr. Potter by SummerRain
Author's Notes:
Well, here's chapter three. I hope you guys like it. Of course, I'll never know if you do or not, unless you leave a little something on my review page. :) Anyway, enjoy!
Disclaimer: Jo's my hero. I'm just wearing the mask, cape, and spandex tights and running around Gothem City for a night :)
The following week was horrendously busy for all the Marauderesses. And Remus. The other Marauders got through by copying Remus’ work and occasionally writing an essay for themselves. Together.
Lily and James had hardly any time to talk until the weekend, which found Lily still working on homework. James walked over to the table where Lily was working. He sat down next to her and took the quill from her hand, placing his hand on top of hers.
“Lils, come on. It’s a Saturday afternoon, and it’s a beautiful day outside. You need to take a break. Let’s go take a walk,” he suggested.
“James, I can’t. I have to do this essay,” Lily sighed.
“Come on, Lily. You have all weekend to do it. We’ll take a walk down by the lake. Remember Lils, don’t put it off until tomorrow. Procrastinate today!”
Lily snorted in laughter.
James grabbed Lily’s other hand and looked into her eyes. “Please?”
Lily sighed. “Ok, ok. But after this you’re going to let me do the rest of my homework in peace, until I’m done, for the rest of the weekend.”
James didn’t answer as he pulled her up out of her chair and headed down towards the Entrance Hall.
They made their way down to the lake, watching as Sirius tried to sever himself from a flock of girls while looking for Jess.
They sat down underneath a tree, and James leaned back against the trunk.
“So, I was thinking,” James began.
Lily leaned against James’ chest and he put his arm around her. “Were you now?” Lily teased.
James smiled. “Remember how you said little kids, like first or second years, showed they liked each other by being mean?”
“Yes,” Lily answered, wondering where he was going with that.
“Well, I sort of proved it, in second year.”
“And how is that?” Lily asked.
“When the Marauders and I pranked you that one time,” he reminded her.
“So are you implying that you liked me in second year, not third?”
“According to your theory, yes,” James said.
“Way to avoid answering that,” Lily said. She rested her head on James’ shoulder and thought back to second year.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Lily sat down heavily and began to unpack her school bag to finish up her homework. It was a Sunday night, and she had just returned from dinner in the Great Hall. She was planning to finish up a long Charms essay and then head up to her dormitory early.
Lily looked at the parchment where she had written her essay, but found it blank. She reached into her bag to look at the other parchment. Each one she opened was blank. All her homework had disappeared.
Lily looked around the room and saw her friend Kylie playing Exploding Snap with Emma.
“Kylie,” Lily called. “Could you come here for a minute?”
Kylie looked up from her game and the cards promptly exploded. She stood up, dusted herself off and walked over to Lily. “What’s up?”
Lily thrust a pile of parchment into her hands. “Look at these. I can’t find my homework,” she said in a panicky voice.
Lily and Kylie looked all through Lily’s things three times over, but found only blank parchment.
“Kylie! That was all of my homework! I can’t redo it, there’s no time!” Lily said frantically.
“Sh, Lily, it’s ok. We’ll find it,” Kylie reassured her, looking around the room. And sure enough, Kylie spotted the Marauders across the room, holding their sides in laughter.
“Hey, Kylie, look through this book will you?” Lily asked, holding out a large library book. “Kylie?” Lily looked around but Kylie had disappeared.
“What a friend,” Lily muttered as she began to flip through the book herself.
A minute later Lily heard a voice behind her. “Hey, do you want some help there?”
“No, go away,” Lily snapped without looking up.
Suddenly someone snatched the book from Lily’s hands. “You won’t find it in there. Actually, you won’t find it for about a week unless you let me help.”
Lily spun around, her eyes blazing with anger, and found herself face to face with James Potter. Lily’s breath caught in her throat. “Come on. Get a hold of yourself, Lily. He’s not that gorgeous,” she thought.
James ran a hand through his hair just then. “Come on. Let me help you.”
“Ok, so maybe he is, but no one can know that!” Lily reprimanded herself silently. “All right, but do it fast. I have to get this done!”
James looked a bit hurt, but he pulled out his wand and stacked all the parchment together. “Monstraverba!” he muttered, tapping the stack. All of Lily’s neat handwriting showed up immediately.
“Gorgeous and smart,” Lily thought. “He couldn’t be any more perfect.”
“Thanks,” she muttered, picking up her quill and getting to work.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Coming out of her reverie, Lily slapped James’ arm. “That was really mean! You knew how hard I worked on my homework back then.”
James chuckled. “As if you don’t work that hard anymore.”
“That’s not the point!” Lily said.
“Hey, it’s not as bad as it seems,” James told her.
“Really?”
“Yeah. I mean, I did think it was funny at first, but I realized it wasn’t. And besides, I fixed it for you, right?” James said. His face took on a dazed look as he thought back to his side of the story.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter sat in the Common Room watching people return from dinner.
As a short, red haired girl climbed through the portrait hole, they all fell silent and watched her every move.
They stared, waiting, as she sat down at a table and pulled out her homework.
“Did it work?” Remus asked.
“Of course it worked,” Sirius whispered confidently.
“Just watch guys,” James nodded towards the girl.
She was frantically throwing her books aside, looking for her homework.
The Marauders broke out into laughter, but to James, it was hollow. This girl had never done anything to them. All she wanted was to do her homework.
James watched as the girl called one of her friends over to help look. After looking through the parchment a few times, her friend spun around, eyes scanning the room.
Her eyes locked on the Marauders.
“Shit,” James mumbled as his laughter died off.
The girl marched over to them, fists clenched and eyes narrowed dangerously. “What did you do?” she hissed angrily.
James looked down at his feet. Remus and Peter stopped laughing, but Sirius hadn’t noticed her. Remus punched Sirius’ arm and he looked up and fell silent immediately.
“Fix it. Now!” the girl ordered.
Remus pointed to James and Peter began to suck his thumb.
“All right, all right,” James said to calm the girl, and Peter, as he made his way over to her red haired friend, who was frantically flipping through a book.
James watched her for a moment, with her soft red hair hanging down to her shoulders. James briefly thought how nice it would be to feel. He shook himself and cleared his throat.
“Hey, do you want some help there?” he asked.
The girl didn’t bother looking up as she snapped at him. “No. Go away.” She kept flipping through her book.
James reached over her shoulder and tugged the book out of her hands. “You won’t find it in there. Actually, you won’t find it at all for about a week unless you let me help.”
The girl spun around angrily to look at him. She paused for a moment, debating whether to let him help.
James blinked in surprise. He had noticed her hair before, but he had never really looked at her. She was gorgeous. He ran his hand through his hair. “Come on, let me help you.”
“All right,” the girl relented, “but do it fast. I have to get this done.”
“Geez, what a way to show your gratitude,” James thought, but drew his wand and stacked the parchment together. “Monstraverba!” he muttered and tapped the parchment.
The girl immediately picked up her quill and began scribbling.
“You’re welcome,” James muttered, and he made his way back to the Marauders.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Lily turned sideways so she could look at James. “You know, as mean as that was, I have to admit, that was some pretty nifty spell work. Where did you guys learn that spell?”
James shrugged and grinned smugly. “You should know by now. Sirius and I, we’re top notch pranksters. We do research. We do background checks. We learn new spells. Hell, we even go undercover, behind enemy lines.”
Lily laughed. “Undercover, huh? What do you do, throw on a dress and a wig and talk like this?” Lily asked, making her voice go very high.
“Like, no way! We like, totally prefer to talk like Valley girls! Like, it’s so much fun. You would not believe how much, like, fun it is!” James squealed.
Lily laughed again and leaned her head back against his shoulder. She breathed in deeply and thought to herself just how amazing he smelled.
“I really should go finish my homework,” she mumbled.
“Lils, have you ever considered not doing your homework?”
Lily picked up her head. “No!”
James laughed lightly. “Well, we’re going to try it. I’m going to hold you captive all weekend and not let you near your books. I’ll make a proper Marauderess out of you yet, Lily.” James grinned at her.
“Oh? And just how do you plan to do that?” Lily asked looking into James’ eyes where there was a mischievous twinkle.
Too late, Lily realized her mistake as James leaned closer and, placing a hand on the back of her neck, brought her lips up to meet his own.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Lily sat in the back of the Charms classroom between James and Kylie. The rest of the Marauders and Marauderesses were sitting in the seats around them.
It was nearing the end of class, and everyone had turned in their homework. Everyone who did it, anyway. It had been nearly a month since James “held Lily captive” away from her homework, and she was almost used to not doing it all the time.
Professor Swittle cleared his throat. “I don’t suppose there’s any need to ask you, Mr. Black, or you, Mr. Potter, but Miss Evans, do you have your homework?”
Lily’s cheeks flushed red. She glanced over at James, who shook a fist at her encouragingly and whispered, “Be strong Lils. You can do it.”
Lily took a shaky breath. “No, sir.”
Professor Swittle blinked in surprise. “Oh. Well, erm, class dismissed,” he said absently.
James grasped Lily’s hand. “Good job.”
She smiled at him. “It is nice to have some time to relax once in a while.”
James and Lily walked side by side up to the Gryffindor tower before dinner.
“And you’re not going to do any homework this weekend, right?” James said.
“I’m going to do some of it. Maybe all of it. It depends on how much we have,” Lily told him.
“But we’re still going to Hogsmeade, right?” James asked worriedly.
Lily smiled over at him as they climbed through the portrait hole. “Of course.”
James dropped his books next to a chair and flopped into it, as Lily ran up the stairs to drop her things in the dormitory.
James sprawled across his chair and waited nearly ten minutes for Lily to finally come back down.
“How long does it take to drop your books off?” he asked. "Everyone else is already down at dinner."
“I’m sorry. I got up there and was ready to come back down, when I heard this tapping noise. I nearly tore the dormitory apart looking for it. Finally, I realized there was an owl at the window.” Lily grinned sheepishly at him. “So I let it in, and then I had to read the letter, of course.”
“And what did it say?” James asked her.
“I have to go to see Professor Dumbledore after dinner.”
“What’d you do Lils?”
“I don’t know! That’s the thing,” Lily wrung her hands anxiously.
James took her hands and pulled her towards the portrait. “Don’t worry so much. It’ll be fine. Let’s just go down to dinner, and then I’ll walk you up to his office. I’ll wait outside the entrance for you.”
“Oh, you don’t have to do that. Really. But thanks,” Lily smiled at him and they walked down to the Great Hall for dinner.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“Pumpkin pasties,” Lily said to a gargoyle in the wall and stepped onto the staircase that appeared before her. Once she reached the top, the door swung open of its own volition, accompanied by a voice coming from inside the room.
“Come in, Miss Evans.”
Lily stepped in to find Professor Dumbledore seated at his desk. He gestured towards the chair across the desk from him. “Please, have a seat.”
Lily folded her hands in her lap nervously.
“I daresay you could guess why you are here,” Dumbledore stated.
Lily blinked in surprise.
“No? Or perhaps you have learned the famous ‘I’m innocent’ look from one Mr. Potter,” Dumbledore smiled at her. “I have had some fair number of complaints lately. It seems that many of our teachers have found that one of their best students has stopped turning in their homework. Now, said student may be in seventh year, but said student needs to realize, in times such as these, the wizarding world needs hard working, brave people. And it is most disappointing when students with a great deal of potential lose sight of their goals.”
Lily shifted uncomfortably. It was bad enough having Professor Dumbledore reprimand her for not doing her homework, but bringing up current events was a low blow. Lily knew exactly what Dumbledore was talking about when he had said, "in times such as these." He was referring to the attacks that had become more and more common over the last two years. Attacks on muggles and muggleborn wizards. Mentioning these occurrences was a sure lock for getting Lily to be more studious.
“Could you imagine a reason why said student might not be doing their assignments?” Dumbledore asked her, raising his eyebrows.
“Perhaps said student does not have enough time to do all their work, what with Head duties and all,” Lily answered. She felt her face grow red.
“Perhaps. Or maybe said student has found some other thing to occupy their time.” Dumbledore suggested.
“Perhaps,” Lily nodded her head in consent.
“That is all. You may return to your common room now, and please remember to pass the message along to said student,” Professor Dumbledore told her.
Lily stood up, her face burning. She was almost to the door when Professor Dumbledore called her.
“Oh, one more thing, Miss Evans. Even the brightest of students do need some time to rest. Do try and have a good time in Hogsmeade this weekend with Mr. Potter.”
Lily smiled and hurried back to the common room to get a head start on her homework.
It's Not You, It's Me - Part I by SummerRain
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: Jo's my hero ... I'm just wearing the mask, cape, and spandex pants and running around Gothem City for the night :D
Finally!! Here it is. This one was a lot of work, so I hope you guys like it. It has two parts, mainly because it turned out a lot longer than i expected, due to the fact that once I get going, I don't stop. So, sorry for that. But, enjoy!
Lily woke up as she was walloped in the head with a pillow. As soft as pillows are, they can be surprisingly painful. Lily pulled her covers up over her head, trying to ignore her friends as they battered her with pillows. After a few minutes, she surrendered, realizing that they were not about to give up. She sat up in bed just as Emma swung a pillow towards her head. Seeing that she was awake, Emma tried to pull back, but was already to far into her swing. The pillow connected with Lily’s face and she fell backwards.
“Ow,” Lily said as she sat up again, rubbing her injured nose.
“Oh my God, Lily, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to, I mean, you sat up, it wasn’t supposed to hit your face,” Emma said frantically.
“It’s all right, Em,” Lily said. “It hurt, thanks to all your bloody Quidditch muscles, but it’s all right.”
“I’m really not that strong,” Emma protested.
“Don’t be silly, Emma. You’re beastly,” Kylie said.
“You were the only girl on the team in second year!” Jess added.
Emma smiled and shrugged. “I know. I’m amazing. I was just trying to be modest.” All the girls laughed.
“Now, may I ask why you all decided to wake me up in such a horrid way?” Lily asked her friends.
“You overslept,” Kylie said simply.
“Overslept for what?”
“Hogsmeade’s today,” Jess informed her.
“Oh, bollocks!” Lily stood, forgetting she was still on her bed, hit her head on the canopy, and tumbled onto the floor. “What time is it?” she asked quickly, standing up and running a hand through her tangled hair to straighten it some. She tried to take a step forward, but her feet were wrapped up in her blankets, so she fell yet again to the floor.
Her three friends were laughing hysterically at this point and were incapable of telling her the time. Lily squinted at the clock on the wall trying to see the skinny hands.
“Guys, please. Someone tell me what time it is. I haven’t put my eyes in yet!”” Lily pleaded with her friends.
“Why don’t you just wear you glasses, Lily? They’re cute,” Emma said.
“They bother me,” Lily told her. “What time is it?”
Kylie glanced at the wall. “10:15.”
“Shit! Why didn’t you lot wake me up earlier?” Lily screamed as she ran into the bathroom to put her contacts in and get ready.
“We’re leaving, Lily. We’ll all be downstairs, standing around, waiting for you. But don’t worry, take you time,” Jess called to her. The three girls filed downstairs to meet the Marauders and head off to Hogsmeade once Lily was ready.
Lily raced around the dormitory trying to get ready as fast as she could, which still took a good twenty minutes. She paused just before leaving the dormitory to make sure she didn’t look like she was just running around. She closed the door behind her and went out to the top of the stairs. Her eyes quickly scanned the room and spotted James seated in an armchair facing the stairs waiting for her. She gave him a smile and his eyes got wide. She smiled even wider at his reaction. Apparently the outfit she had ended up with was a good one. She was wearing a jeans miniskirt, a tight rust-colored t-shirt, and a fitted white zippered sweatshirt which she had zipped up halfway. Her hair was tied loosely over one shoulder, but there were a few strands hanging loose and framing her face. She tucked one strand behind her ear and ran lightly down the stairs.
James stood up to meet her at the bottom of the stairs. “Hi,” he breathed. “You look amazing.”
Lily smiled. “Thanks. So do you.”
James looked down at her t-shirt and jeans and looked at her doubtfully.
“You always look amazing,” she assured him.
“So do you,” he whispered in her ear and kissed the top of her head. Lily hugged him, but didn’t let go.
“So, where did everybody go?” Lily asked, looking around the room. They were the only two there.
“I told them to go ahead. We’re supposed to meet them at the Three Broomsticks. I said I’d wait for you here, and there was no real reason for them to wait.”
“Ok. Let’s go then,” Lily said.
“Well, that’s not the only reason,” James said quietly.
Lily looked up at him. She had to look up, of course, because he was so much taller than her. He smiled at her.
“And what would that other reason be?” she inquired.
“Do I really have to say it?” James asked.
Lily stood up on her tiptoes so she was closer to him. “Not at all,” she whispered, and leaned into James’ sturdy chest. She stared at his beautifully shaped lips. Her pulse quickened as James tightened his arms around her waist. He leaned down so their lips were almost touching.
“But I will,” he said softly. “I wanted to be alone with you.” And then he pressed his mouth over hers. Lily closed her eyes as she kissed him. Her knees almost gave out, and if he wasn’t holding her, she would have fallen for sure.
Lily circled one arm around his neck, and she gently cupped his cheek in the other hand. James let one arm free of her waist and placed it on the back of her neck, pulling her deeper into the kiss, and Lily absently let one hand drift up into James’ beautiful dark hair. She freed her hand from James’ hair and let it slide down onto his chest. She shivered as she felt his hardened muscles from years of playing Quidditch.
Lily pushed James away gently after a while. It was getting a little out of hand.
“What’s up?” James asked.
“They’re probably already waiting for us,” she said.
“So? They’re smart kids. It’s not like they’ll think we got lost. They’re probably already making bets.”
Lily smiled. “Come on. There’s only a few Hogsmeade visits a semester.”
“We can go anytime. You know that,” James reminded her.
“Yes, but we can only go at night, and none of the shops are open then,” she pointed out. “And besides, we have patrol duties later.”
“And what does that mean?” James asked.
Lily shrugged and winked at him. James grinned. “What good role models we make.”
* * * * *
A bell on the doorframe rang as James opened the door to the Three Brooksticks and he and Lily walked in. It was crowded, and nearly every table was full. James held onto Lily’s hand as he pushed his way through the crowd to get to the back table where the others sat.
“We didn’t expect you two so soon,” Kylie said when she saw Lily and James.
Lily just smiled and shrugged. She and James sat down next to Emma and Kylie. Remus, Sirius, Jess, and Peter sat on the other side of the table.
When they sat down, James put his arm around Lily’s shoulder. He leaned over and whispered into her ear,” This is the table I sat at in third year on our first Hogsmeade visit, the day I first asked you out. Do you remember?”
“How could I forget?” Lily asked.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Lily and her three friends Kylie, Jess, and Emma walked through Hogsmeade, theirs eyes wide with the excitement of the day. They had already been to Zonko’s and the Shrieking Shack, and were slowly winding their way through the town in the general direction of the castle, almost ready to end their day.
“Hey, do you guys want to stop in here for a drink before we go back?” Emma asked, pointing at the Three Broomsticks.
The other three nodded and they went inside. They place was almost empty. Barely five tables were full, but the girls chose to sit near the back.
“The Shrieking Shack looked dreadful, didn’t it?” Kylie asked and shuddered. “Spooky place.”
Jess nodded her agreement.
Lily shrugged. “I’d sort of like to see the inside of it. They house itself looked like it would be really pretty.”
Emma’s eyes widened. “Are you mental? That’s the most haunted place in Great Britain! Why, why would you ever want to go in there?” she squeaked.
“Oh, come on. Do you guys really believe it’s haunted?” Lily questioned.
The others nodded.
Lily sighed. “Well, even if it is, I don’t care much. I’d still like to see the inside. I’m sure it’s beautiful.”
“She is mental!” Jess said to the other two.
Lily tried to smile at them, but was inhibited by a rather large yawn.
“Why are you so tired Lily?” Kylie asked.
“I stayed up last night to do that Divination homework we had,” she explained.
“Lily, that’s not due until Wednesday!” Jess reminded her.
“I know, but I’ve been swamped with homework lately, so I need to do it when I can.”
“It’s your own fault, you know. You don’t really have to do all your homework,” Emma said.
“Yes I do!” Lily said defensively. “I have to! Otherwise I’d be failing half my classes right now.”
“Methinks she doth protest too much,” Emma quoted.
“Verily. And methinks she doth say it requireth so much time but she knoweth differently,” Kylie said, attempting at the Shakespearean language and failing horribly.
“Indeed, she doth hardly sleep or eat for all her work,” Jess commented.
“Methink you are but a bunch of filthy knaves for gossiping about thine friend in such a way,” Lily said, slamming her mug down on the table in mock anger.
“Nay, I must disagree with thee, dearest friend. It cannot be named as gossip whilst thou art before us,” Jess said. “But indeed, we are lowly brigands.”
“What about fiends?” Emma asked.
“Scoundrels!” Kylie shouted loudly, slamming her own cup on the table in imitation of Lily. With that, all four girls burst into gales of laughter. At the same time, they heard a loud crash from two tables over, at the very back, and silence dropped over the entire room like a blanket. The girls turned their attention to two tables in the back.
They were two tables of boys, third years all. Two of them were standing, wands drawn. A chair was lying on the floor a few feet back from one boy. Lily recognized one as a Slytherin, and the other as Sirius Black.
“Sit down, Black,” the Slytherin hissed, “before I have to hurt you.”
“You could try,” Black corrected him.
“You’re a disgrace, Black. How do you call yourself a pureblood?”
“I generally don’t, just a wizard. What do you call yourself, a piece of shit?”
By this time the other boys had stood and drawn their own wands, so there were now three boys behind each of them. Lily’s pulse quickened as she noticed one of the boys behind Sirius was James Potter. She watched him intently as he glared at the Slytherin insulting his friend. The fiery look in his hazel eyes was terrifying, but attractive at the same time. However, Lily did not get to admire the look in James’ eyes for long, because the whole student body inside the Three Broomsticks at that time, pitifully small though the number was, had encircled the eight boys, blocking them from Lily’s view, being as short as she was.
“Can you guys see anything?” she asked. “What’s going on?” All four girls stood up, trying to see over the crowd.
“I can’t see a thing!” Emma said.
“I can see someone’s head,” Jess informed them.
“Whose?” Kylie asked.
Jess shrugged.
“This is ridiculous,” Lily said, pushing her chair up against the table and stepping up. She held onto the back of the chair and stretched up on her toes. Still unsuccessful, she climbed onto the table and stood there amidst mugs of butterbeer, watching the scene below.
“LIly!” Kylie squealed. “You can’t do that!”
“Sure I can,” Lily answered. “And now I can see.”
“So tell us what’s going on,” Jess demanded.
“Well, Sirius Black and some Slytherin boy seem to be shouting at each other. They’re wands are out. I think they’re going to duel!” Lily forgot she was supposed to be enlightening her friends as the two boys began screaming and shooting hexes at one another. They shouted curse after curse, ducking and dodging as ill-fated flashes of colored light flew at them.
Lily heard Black yell “Protego!” over all the other shouts and cries in the room. She saw him duck just in time as a red beam of light shot over his head and hit someone behind him.
“Lily!” Emma screamed. “What’s happening?”
“Black just tried to cast a Protego spell!”
“Did it work?” Jess asked.
“No, but he was really, very close.”
“Bloody hell. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do that in my life, and here he is trying it in third year,” Kylie muttered.
“Protego!” Sirius shouted again, louder this time, and a translucent beam left his wand.
“He did it! He did it! He put up a shield!” Lily shouted to her friends. Then, a few things happened very fast.
First, Lily realized a spell had ricocheted off the shield and was heading right at her. She screamed and tried to step aside, but her foot connected with a mug, spilling butterbeer all over the table. She tried to put her foot down, but slipped on the spilled liquid. She fell backwards, almost in slow motion, and she windmilled her arms but it did no good. She managed to avoid the hex, but fell completely off the table, hit her head hard on the floor, and blacked out.
Lily groaned. Her head felt like it was being sawed in half. She couldn’t seem to get her thoughts all together, and it was too much effort to open her eyes. She tried to say something, but couldn’t find her voice. She heard a voice, however. A boy’s voice, and she felt like she was moving, being carried somewhere.
“Is she going to be ok?” the voice asked. She knew that voice, and she loved it. She tried to speak and say that she was ok, but still couldn’t speak.
The sway of motion and the body warmth from the person carrying her caused her to drift off again.
The next time she woke up, she was in a bed. There were red curtains around the bed, but they weren’t closed all the way. She groaned and rolled over to see Kylie sitting next to the bed.
“Lily!” she squealed.
Lily smiled through the sharp pain in her head. “Did the hospital wing get new curtains?”
“You’re not in the hospital wing,” Kylie sad. She let the sentence hang, although she knew Lily was going to ask where she was.
“So where am I?”
“A dormitory,” Kylie said evasively.
“Not ours,” Lily said.
“No.”
“So whose?”
Kylie looked away. She cleared her throat. “The Marauders’.”
Lily blinked a few times. “Um, why?” Lily asked, her face already getting red. That meant that James Potter slept in this dormitory, along with Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew, but they weren’t really important. James Potter. She was in James Potter’s room.
“Well, because, we were all worried about you, and we didn’t want them to get in trouble. And you’re not really hurt that bad, you just had to rest for a while and we couldn’t carry you up to our room and they obviously can’t get up the stairs, and they felt really bad that you got hurt, so they wanted to help and now you’re here,” she said quickly, all in one breath.
“They being,” Lily asked for clarification.
“The Marauders.”
“Of course. What time is it?”
“It’s almost nine,” Kylie answered.
“I missed dinner then?” Lily asked as her stomach growled.
“Everyone just went down to the kitchens to get you some food.”
“Everyone?”
“Emma, Jess, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and James. Everyone,” Kylie said again. “We’re going to have a party.”
“Oh joy.”
“Oh, Lily, they just want to help.”
Lily opened her mouth to say that if they really wanted help they could have put her in her own room, but the door swung open and all six third years stood in the doorway, their arms laden with food.
“You’re awake!” Emma yelled. All the others grinned in relief. Lily glanced at all their faces and lingered just a moment too long on James. He looked relieved, like the others, but there was something more in his eyes.
Lily looked away and inspected everyone’s loads. “What did you lot bring me?”
“Some of everything,” Jess told her. “I was in charge.”
“Of course you were,” Lily smiled.
They all dropped an assortment of cakes and sweets onto the floor. Lily looked at the pile on the floor. “Very healthy, Jess.”
Jess grinned and shrugged. “What were you expecting?”
Lily hopped off her bed and sifted through the pile, finally grabbing a cauldron cake. The others took this as their cue to dig in, and they all sat around on the floor pigging out until the stack was gone.
“So, are you always such a klutz, or is it just when me and James are around?” Sirius asked her jokingly.
“It’s typical,” Lily answered, laughing. “Last week I actually walked straight into a door. Fell over backwards onto my bum and everything.”
“Graceful one you are,” James teased.
Lily nodded. “I can’t help it. I’ve never had really good balance.”
“I think you’re a bit off balance, Lily,” Jess said.
“Hey! At least I don’t eat 24/7,” Lily said.
“How dare you!” Jess pretended to be insulted.
“Maybe if you ate more, you would be weighed down and wouldn’t fall over so much,” James laughed.
Lily looked at him. He smiled at her, and she noticed his left cheek bone was bruised. Impulsively, she reached out and brushed it with her fingertips. Her fingers tingled, and she pulled back quickly. “What’s that from?” she asked.
James shrugged adn avoided her eyes. “Quidditch, probably.”
Lily nodded, not really believing him. After that, she tried to avoid him for the rest of the night. She had to work hard not to meet his eyes, but she was afraid of what she might find there. Afraid she would like everything she saw. Afraid she would do something rash. So, although it hurt her to avoid him, she ignored him for the rest of the night while she laughed and joked with all the others.
When Remus announced that he was going to bed, the girls followed his lead.
Kylie, Jess, Emma, and Lily stood up to go back to their own dormitory.
“Thanks everyone, for this nutritional meal,” Lily said.
"No problem. And listen, Lily. I’m really sorry, about nearly hitting you and all. When your dueling, you know, you don’t really worry about what’s around you. You’re more preoccupied with not getting hit yourself,” Sirius said.
“It’s all right. Thanks for bringing me back to the castle.”
“Shut up and leave already!” A pillow flew from across the room from Remus’ direction.
“Sorry! Good night everyone!” Lily said, and the girls walked out the door into the dark hallway. The couldn’t really see anything, but Lily took a step and bumped into someone.
“What are you doing? Go!” she heard Kylie say.
“Sorry! It’s dark,” Emma hissed.
“Really, Em? I hadn’t noticed?” Jess said from in front of Lily, but she stepped forward. Lily started to take a step, but heard someone call her.
“Lily?” James whispered.
“Potter?”
“Yeah. Listen, I don’t know if I said anything that offended you, or did anything, but I wanted to know why you stopped talking to me. If I said something, I didn’t mean to, and, I’m sorry.”
“No, you didn’t say anything. I’m sorry, I just, well, I don’t know really, but you didn’t, I mean, I don’t know, but you didn’t do anything,” Lily babbled without really saying anything at all.
“Well then, I was thinking. Maybe you’d like to go out sometime?” he asked.
Lily felt her face flush. “Oh, well, I can’t. Right now, I need to focus on my marks, and I can’t.”
“Right now? Does that mean later, maybe?” he asked hopefully.
Lily’s heart beat faster. He couldn’t be doing this to her. She had to say something, and quick. “No, Potter, I can’t. But it’s not you, it’s me.”
“I know it’s you I like. It’s you I want to take out,” James said softly.
Lily closed her eyes, hoping it was dark enough that he couldn’t see how red her face was. She clenched her fists. She couldn’t give in now.
“Damnit, Potter! Listen, I said no!” and Lily ran down the stairs, her eyes burning with tears.
It's Not You, It's Me - Part II by SummerRain
Author's Notes:
Hope you guys like this one. It was rejected, edited, re-edited, and resubmitted so many times I've lost count. Please let me know if it was worth it. :) It's all for you guys, you know.
“God, you know, I went back to my dorm and cried for about an hour because I was so confused about the whole bloody thing,” Lily admitted to James.
“Do you want to know a secret?” James asked her and she nodded. “I think I did too.”
“James!” Lily squeaked. “Come on. Boys don’t cry about that kind of thing.”
“I don’t think you quite understand what you did to me. Look at it from my side.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
James Potter and the three Marauders walked into the Three Broomsticks sometime around mid-afternoon. The place was almost empty, with just a few tables occupied, but they strode to the back where they would be less conspicuous. They say down near a table of third year Slytherins, who were engrossed in a seemingly important conversation.
They sat down and ordered a round of Butterbeers as they tried to think of something they could do.
“We could play ‘Guess that Cup’,” Peter suggested.
James made a face. “Nah, we played that yesterday.”
“And besides, Sirius always wins,” Remus said, causing Sirius to grin widely.
“What can I say? I have a way with the ladies,” Sirius said confidently.
“Yeah, a way to make them run,” James laughed.
“Why don’t we play ‘Dare or Doubledare’?” Remus interrupted them.
“Sure,” Sirius answered, taking a swig of his Butterbeer.
“Sounds good,” James agreed.
“Fine,” Peter answered glumly. He never thought of good dares.
“Sirius. Dare or Doubledare?” Remus asked.
“Double,” was the instantaneous reply.
“I dare you,” Remus began slowly. He looked around the room for inspiration and his eyes landed on the Slytherins at the table next to them. His eyes darted back to Sirius and the mug in his hand. “I dare you to chuck your cup at one of those Slytherins.”
“What’s my double?”
Remus looked at James and Peter. “Any ideas?”
“They have to see you chuck it,” Peter said, “and-”
“And you have to blame it on someone else. But not one of us,” James finished.
Sirius nodded, pushed his chair back, stood, and drained the remainder of his mug all in one fluid motion. He quickly wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and he tested differed grips on the mug.
“Oy, mate!” he shouted loudly, and all the Slytherins looked up. He wound up and pitched the mug full force at one boy’s head. It hit him squarely on the forehead, leaving a big red mark, and bounced off.
The Slytherin boy, with his greasy black hair, narrowed his eyes and glared at Sirius. “What are you on about?”
Sirius inspected his fingernails. “Don’t know what you’re talking about chum.”
The Slytherin boy stood up and drew his wand. “Perhaps I could jog your memory.”
“Now that you mention it though, I do remember seeing that git,” Sirius gestured to one of the Slytherins still seated, “taking his cup and smacking you across the head with it.” Sirius pulled his own wand out of his pocket, but twirled it casually between his fingers.
The Slytherin kicked his chair over with a loud crash. “Sit down Black,” he hissed, “before I have to hurt you.”
“Well, you could try,” Sirius corrected him.
“You’re a disgrace Black. How can you call yourself a pureblood?” Snape snarled, trying to bait Sirius into anger.
James stood up and drew his wand. That was going too far. Remus and Peter followed his lead, and the other three Slytherin boys copied them and stood behind Snape. James glared at them with a fire in his eyes. They had no right to think they were better than anyone else. James noticed that a silence had fallen over the room, and everyone was staring at them, but he brought his attention back to Sirius, who was talking to Snape.
“I generally don’t “ just call myself a wizard. What do you call yourself: a piece of shit?”
James vaguely noticed a crowd gathering around them, but his attention was drawn back again as Snape spoke.
“You filthy blood traitor. You should be in Slytherin,” Snape said.
“And be with the rest of you wankers? No thanks.”
“You bloody bastard!”
Sirius shrugged, keeping his cool perfectly. “Probably.”
“Incendio!” Snape yelled. Sirius ducked in time to avoid the curse, and sent one of his own flying back. Spells flew back and forth, but James could hardly hear them because the crowd around them was cheering and shouting wildly. Although he wasn’t even the one dueling, his adrenaline was pumping, and he could hear his heart pumping in his ears.
“Protego!” he heard Sirius shout. A weak beam of light fell from the tip of his wand bit dissipated quickly. Sirius ducked quickly, just in time, and James had to twist sideways to avoid being hit. He stayed turned, and noticed a girl standing on a table to watch the duel.
“Protego!” Sirius shouted a second time, and James looked back in time to see a spell bounce off a shimmering film in front of Sirius. He watched as the spell flew through the air towards the girl on the table. She sidestepped to avoid it, but lost her balance, and toppled off the table with a thud. She didn’t get back up.
“Shit!” he cursed. “Hey, guys!” No one heard him over the crowd and the shouted incantations. He stepped forward, put two fingers in his mouth and whistled loudly. “Game over!” he shouted. The crowd fell silent, and Sirius and Snape paused, wands still held ready, but looked to him.
“You just hit a girl over there with that spell,” James accused Snape.
“What do we care?” Snape asked.
“We care, because depending on who it is, she could go back to the castle, squeal, and get us in loads of trouble,” Sirius answered.
Snape nodded, and the boys walked over to the girl and her friends while the crowd dissipated.
“Look what you lot did!” one of the girl’s friends shrieked at them.
“Oh, relax,” Sirius said.
Snape took a look at the girl lying on the floor, and turned away. “Stupid Mudblood. Serves her right,” he muttered.
James took two long strides to where Snape stood and threw a punch into his chin. Snape reeled backwards, and one of the other Slytherins jumped on James’ back, and another punched him on the left side of his face, connecting with his cheek bone. The other Marauders joined in a pulled the boys off James, and a brawl started. Just then the bar tender came running over, her high heels clicking.
“Stop this!” she pulled Sirius off of a Slytherin. “Get out of her, right now!” she screamed. She threw Sirius out the door and held it open for the others. They all filed out but James hesitated and looked back at the group of girls who were staring at him, horrified.
“Out!” the woman barked at him.
“All right, all right! Keep your knickers on,” James muttered.
“We have to get her back to the castle,” one of the girls said.
“How are we going to do that?” another asked.
“I’ll carry her,” James offered.
“Thanks. That would be great, seeing as you’re half the reason she can’t walk out on her own two feet,” the first girl said, and tucked a piece of blonde hair behind her ear.
James picked up the girl, who weighed practically nothing, and went out the door with the three girls trailing after him.
“How are you blaming me for this?” James asked the blonde girl as they left the pub. “I wasn’t the one dueling.”
The other Maruaders were waiting for James across the street and the two groups conjoined, becoming a large mob sauntering down the road towards Hogwarts.
“There were two parties involved. You lot, and the Slytherins. You are all equally to blame,” a girl with dark brown hair said.
“Well, you lot ruined our game! We didn’t get past the first person!” Peter whined.
“Game? The whole thing was just some ruddy game?” the third girl turned on them. She was short, and had light brown, almost golden hair.
“Of course it wasn’t,” James said.
“We were playing ‘Dare or Doubledare’,” Sirius explained.
“Things just got a little out of hand. It was really all Snape’s fault. Can’t take a little joke,” Remus soothed.
“’Dare or Doubledare’? Never head of that before,” the blonde girl said.
“That’s because we made it up,” Peter said, puffing out his chest proudly.
James glanced at Sirius who rolled his eyes, and mimed shooting Peter in the back of the head with his fingers. Peter used the term “we” rather loosely. James and Sirius had made up the game. That didn’t keep Peter from trying to get the credit, though.
“Well, whatever. We still blame you gits for giving Lily a concussion,” the girl with dark brown hair said.
“You don’t know that she has a concussion,” Remus pointed out.
“You don’t know that she doesn’t,” the blonde girl retorted.
“Do you think she’ll be ok?” James asked the two of them, half to stop them from fighting.
“I’m sure she’ll be fine,” Remus nodded.
The blonde girl nodded her agreement. “I hope so, anyway.”
“Well, I must say, even though it made Lily fall off the table, that shield was bloody brilliant,” the dark-haired girl said to Sirius.
Sirius grinned. “I always have been good with my wand.” He lifted his eyebrows suggestively.
The girl giggled and James and Remus looked at each other and rolled their eyes.
“I’m Jess, by the way. Jess Reynolds.”
“Sirius Black. And while we’re doing introductions, that’s Remus, Peter, and James,” he pointed to each of them in turn.
“Kylie,” the blonde girl said lightly.
“Emma,” the short one piped in.
On the walk back, they all chatted and got to know one another, but James was tuned out of the conversation entirely. He couldn’t stop looking at the girl in his arms. He recognized her from the train in first year, a prank they played in second year, and various other times around the castle. He thought it was odd how he was always running into her. By the time they reached the castle, James had memorized her lips, her eyes, the thirteen tiny freckles on her nose “ her entire face. The face of an angel.
James looked up and noticed all his friends had stopped walking. They had reached the castle gates.
“So, uh, what do we do now?” Sirius asked.
“Well, I think we go inside,” James said sarcastically.
“We should take her to the hospital wing,” Kylie said.
“No!” Remus protested. “We can’t do that. If we take her there, they’ll ask us what happened. And we don’t have a cover story,” Remus explained.
“What, what’s your suggestion?” Emma asked.
“We’ll take her to Gryffindor tower. I’m sure she’ll be just fine once she wakes up,” James offered.
“If she wakes up,” Kylie corrected.
“Bloody hell! The girl is not concussed! Get over it!” Sirius yelled at her.
“Fine,” Kylie pouted, crossing her arms. “But she’s going to your room.”
“Let it go, mate,” Remus cut off Sirius from answering with what would have been some rather unkind words. “It’s fine. And it really does make sense.”
“How does it make sense?” Peter asked.
“We can’t get up the stairs to their dorm, Pete. They won’t let us,” James explained.
“Oh, yeah.”
“And I doubt any of them could carry her up the stairs,” Sirius said.
---------------
Sirius opened the door to the room and James gently laid Lily down on the closest bed, which happened to be his, and the girls filed in through the door.
Once James had laid her down and covered her with a blanket, Remus came over and shook his hand. “Congratulations.”
“What are you talking about?” James asked him.
“You’re the first one of us, including Sirius, to get a girl in your bed,” Remus grinned. Sirius and James both scowled at him, for different but equally obvious reasons.
“Does anyone know if we missed dinner?” Jess asked. James looked at her. Her friend was knocked out, possibly concussed, and she was asking about dinner.
“Let’s go find out,” Sirius suggested.
“Last one there is a snarflaxed-dinglehopped!” Jess shouted and spun towards the door.
“Hang on a second! We can’t just leave her here,” James said.
“Yeah, if she waked us here, not knowing where she is, I’m pretty sure she’ll spaz out,” Emma agreed.
“But I’m hungry!” whined Peter.
“Well, you lot go down to dinner. I’ll stay here. I’m not really that hungry anyway,” James suggested.
“Great! Let’s go,” Kylie nearly shoved everyone out of the room, and closed the door behind them.
James set out a piece of parchment and his potions book on the desk against the wall, upon which was a large mirror. He sat down with every intention of working. He rested his head in the palm of one hand and picked up the quill in the other. He dipped it into the inkpot and glanced into the mirror. He could see Lily perfectly in the glass. Her chest moved up and down slightly, along with her shallow breathing, and her perfect hair was famed out on the pillow. She was beautiful.
The door swung open then, and everyone came bounding in. James jumped up and looked down at the parchment in front of him. He had let the ink drip off the quill and form a large blot on the page.
“What’re you doin’ there, James?” Remus asked him.
“Productive few minutes you’ve had, I see,” Sirius joked.
“No, I was, ah, just trying something new for, well, you know,” James said, hinting at the map of Hogwarts they had begun to make.
“Oh! The Marau- Mmph! Mrr emm mph!” Peter exclaimed as Sirius clapped a hand over his mouth.
“Shut it, Pete,” he said.
“So, you all get dinner? That was fast,” James distracted them.
“No,” Jess said glumly. “It was over.”
“So let’s go down to the kitchens,” James suggested.
“The kitchens? Where are the kitchens?” Kylie asked.
James looked at Sirius who grinned and winked at the girls. “It’s a secret.”
“So tell us!” Emma said.
“I don’t think so,” Remus told her.
“What? Why not?!” Kylie asked angrily.
“Because it’ll be more fun if we just show you.”
Kylie glared at him.
“Are we going all at once?” Emma questioned.
“Sure,” James answered. “Why?”
“Well, if we all go together, there’s more chance of us getting caught,” Jess pointed out.
Sirius shrugged. “We don’t really worry about that.”
“Whatever,” Jess shrugged in response.
“I think I’ll stay here in case Lily wakes up. I hope you all get caught,” Kylie said.
“You know, we’re not technically doing anything wrong,” Remus informed her.
“I’m sure we’re not supposed to be in the kitchens.”
The boys all shrugged.
“Whatever. I’ll stay here,” she said.
James led the expeditions down through the school and they came to a halt in front of the painting of the bowl of fruit, which the girls all eyed with curiosity.
“Proceed, mon ami,” Sirius said dramatically, and bowed slightly towards the painting James grinned and stepped forward. He paused there, arm outstretched, waiting.
“James! Go already!” Emma whispered excitedly.
“All right, relax,” he laughed, and reached out and tickled the pear. It squirmed and giggled beneath his fingers, and the painting swung open. The boys smiled proudly as Jess and Emma gasped together.
“Shall we?” Remus asked, and they ushered the girls inside.
James looked around the enormous Hogwarts’ kitchens, with all the tiny house-elves scurrying about. It was hard not to laugh at them, running around with trays bigger than they were, squeaking in their high-pitched voices. James was surprised when one came bustling over and unloaded a pile of sweets into his arms. He hadn’t asked them to bring anything yet. He looked over and saw Jess had taken charge, asking the elves for a variety of things, and they hurried off, returning with armfuls and handing them off to him and his friends. Once they all had a load, they exited the kitchen and started back, tromping loudly towards Gryffindor tower. They talked at first about classes and marks and such, but as they opened up more, the conversations branched out and they had the beginnings of friendships.
James was the first to reach the top of the stairs and the door to their dormitory. He reached for the handle, but paused, thinking. “I wonder if she’s awake.” He had mostly been talking to himself, but Remus answered him.
“”Don’t know mate. We won’t find out until we go in, though.”
“I bet she is awake,” James said, again mostly to himself. “But I think we should go in quietly, in case she’s still sleeping,” he said to the others.
“James! Just go in already!” Jess said angrily.
“Ok, but be quiet, in case she’s sleeping.”
“Crimedy! James, yes, we will be quiet! Now move!” Sirius pushed past James to open the door.
“You’re awake!” Emma cried as the door swung open, and James saw Lily sitting up in bed. His bed. He watched as her eyes scanned over them all and the loads in their arms. When she reached him, she paused. Their eyes connected and James felt he was looking into her soul. Not only was this girl beautiful, but in her eyes you could see a depth, a complexity of character far beyond that of most third years. James was sure he was in love.
“What did you lot bring me?” When she spoke, James was no less sure. Her voice was clear and sweet, like a bell pealing out in his head.
“Some of everything,” Jess answered from next to him. “I was in charge.”
Lily smiled. “Of course you were.”
Following Jess’ lead, they all stepped further into the room and deposited their goods on the floor, directly in the middle. Lily hopped out of bed and plopped down next to the pile of sweets, picking one out. James and the others quickly followed suit. The talk and laughed soon turned to teasing Lily for her recent gracefulness.
“So, are you always such a klutz, or is it just when me and James are around?” Sirius directed towards her. James laughed, thinking also of first year on the train.
“It’s pretty typical,” Lily said laughing. “Last week I actually walked straight into a door. Fell completely over onto my bum and everything.”
“Graceful one you are,” James joked, trying to keep himself from thinking about her lovely bum.
Lily nodded. “I can’t help it. I’ve never had really good balance.”
“I think you’re a bit off balance Lily,” her friend Jess said.
“Hey! At least I don’t eat 24/7,” Lily replied tartly.
“How dare you!” Jess faked offense.
“Maybe if you ate more, you would be weighed down and wouldn’t fall over so much,” James laughed. Lily looked at him, and he smiled nervously, hoping he didn’t look nervous. He watched her eyes roam across his face and land on the nasty bruise on his left cheekbone where one of the Slytherins had hit him. He wanted to turn away, to hide if from her, but he was caught in her eyes. They shined as she inspected his discolored, puffy skin, and betrayed her sympathy.
And then her hand was moving towards his face, her slender fingers softly brushing his cheek, and quickly pulling back. His skin tingled where she had touched his face.
“What’s that from?” she asked softly. She couldn’t possibly didn’t know they had a fight over her.
James shrugged and looked away. How could he tell her the truth? That he had punched a Slytherin for calling her a Mudblood and started a pub-brawl. “Quidditch probably,” he muttered.
She nodded, and he could tell she didn’t exactly believe him, but of course didn’t know the real reason. After that, she seemed to avoid him. She wouldn’t talk to him directly, and she never looked at him. Did she know? James wondered. Does she know I lied? He watched her all night, wondering, trying to figure out what he had done to upset her.
Finally, Remus announced that he was going to bed, and the girls followed his lead, leaving the room after Lily had voiced a general “thank-you.”
The door closed with a click behind them, and the other three boys started towards bed, but James was having an internal battle. Should he talk to her about it? Would that just make it worse, if she was angry that he had lied? After a few minutes of debating, he ran, threw the door open, and stepped into the hallway. He started down the stairs a step, but stopped, because it was so dark.
“Lily?” he breathed softly.
“Potter?” she answered back from the darkness. He realized from the sound of her voice, that he was maybe a step away from her.
“Yeah. Listen, I don’t know if I said anything that upset you, or did something, but, um, it kind of seemed like you were avoiding me. I just wanted to say sorry. If I did something, I didn’t mean to, and I’m sorry.” His hands were sweating, and he wiped them on his pants as he waited for her to answer.
“No, you didn’t say anything. I’m sorry, I just, well, I, I don’t know really,” she answered back, without really answered him.
“Well then, I was thinking. Maybe you’d like to go out sometime?” he tried to keep his voice casual, but his insides were churning. He knew his face was red, and he hoped she couldn’t tell in the darkness.
“Oh, well, I can’t. Right now. I have to focus on my marks, and I can’t.”
His insides roiled even faster. She had left a glimmer of hope in her answer. He grabbed onto it and held it to his heart. “You said ‘Right now.’ Does that mean later, maybe?”
“No, Potter. I can’t. But it’s not you. It’s me.”
His insides finally froze, stopping his heart. He had to convince her. “I know it’s you I like. It’s you I want to take out,” he said softly. She just couldn’t say no. She couldn’t!
But her voice came back angry and loud, unlike all her previous responses, which had been soft, almost regretful, unsure and hesitant. “Damnit, Potter! I said no!” He heard her run down the stairs, and he stood rooted in place, his eyes burning, waiting for his heart to start again.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“You did not think all that about me in third year!” Lily said accusingly.
“I did so!” James retorted.
“Why, though? Why did you ask me out? I mean, other than that I was a complete klutz and I was serious about my school work, you didn’t know anything about me at all!”
“It was Fate. Destiny. True Love.” Lily looked at him skeptically. “Girls believe in all that mess, right?”
“I suppose. I was just expecting a more, guy-ish answer,” she confessed.
“Alright, I’ll give you a guy-ish answer. Ask me again.”
“Why did you ask me out that night? You knew nothing about me!” Lily repeated.
James shrugged. “You were cute.”
Lily laughed and pretended to be offended. “Were?”
“Yeah,” James replied. “Now you’re gorgeous. And sexy. And, Lils, well, you’re perfect.”
Lily grinned. “Well, one does one’s best,” she said laughing.
You, of All People by SummerRain
After they had finished their drinks, the three couples split up. James and Lily wandered, hand in hand, towards the Shrieking Shack. When they reached the Shack, although he had his arm around her, Lily noticed that James fell silent and seemed far off in thought.
They were looking at the Shack when James spoke up suddenly. “What do you suppose haunts it?”
“Oh, I don’t think it’s really haunted,” Lily replied.
James glanced worriedly at her, but she didn’t notice. “Why not?” he asked.
Lily shrugged. “I’ve seen a bunch of animals hanging around it.”
“What does that mean?” James wondered.
“Well, one of them was a dog, and I figured, dogs hang around places where there are people, and people don’t hang around places that are haunted, do they?”
“No, I suppose not,” James stammered. “So, uh, when was this?”
“I’ve seen them a few times, actually. Mostly at night. A rather odd bunch, really. Who would have ever thought a dog, a stag, and a rat would all hang around the same place?”
“Night? Hang on, why were you up here at night? How did you get up here at night?” he asked.
Lily smiled secretively. “Marauderess’ honor. I cant tell.”
James snorted. “Some Head girl you are. Sneaking out of the castle at night.”
Lily shrugged. “It’s not really that serious. And as long as I don’t get caught, then I’m still a perfectly good role model.”
James shook his head. “It is serious, Lily. What if it really is haunted? You could get hurt.”
Lily looked into James’ concern-filled eyes, confused. “I never would have thought that you, of all people, would be afraid of this place.”
“Well, I am. And you should be too. Please, Lils. I don’t want to see you get hurt. Promise me you won’t come up here any more. Especially at night, when those animals are around.”
Lily slipped out from under James’ arm. “What do you know about all this that you’re not telling me?” she asked suspiciously.
“What? Nothing! What do you mean? I, I just don’t like the sound of it. It’s weird, those animals,” he tried to lie.
“James!” Lily yelled. “What are you hiding? Tell me the truth!”
“Lily, I can’t tell you! Please!” James begged.
“Fine. Fine! Don’t tell me,” Lily shouted as she stormed off back towards the castle. “But I’ll be up here every night until I figure out what you’re keeping from me!” she yelled over her shoulder at him.
James watched her helplessly, suddenly dreading the next full moon.
_______________________________
James nearly sprinted into the Great Hall, drawing everyone’s attention except Lily, who was busy ignoring him. He ran over to the other Marauders’ who had already made it back to the castle and were already eating. “Meeting. Dormitory. Now.” James gasped.
Sirius groaned. “C’mon mate. I’m half starved!”
“We’ll get something from kitchens later. We need to talk. Now!” James growled. He ran up to Gryffindor Tower with a grumbling Sirius and Remus and Peter hurrying to keep up.
Sirius, Remus, and Peter sat on their beds, watching James pace nervously about the room muttering to himself.
“What are they thinking? What is she thinking? They know better than to … well, no, I suppose they don’t. But even so! Wandering about at night, not even on the grounds … Could be hurt … dangerous … all my fault … not watching closely enough …”
“James, what’s going on?” Remus asked quietly. There was no indication that James even remembered he was there.
“Prongs! What the bloody hell did you make us come here for?” Sirius yelled.
James stopped pacing and looked at Sirius as if he had just hit him.
“Prongs, mate, What’s the matter?” Siruis asked, quieter this time.
“Have any of you seen them around?” James asked finally, running a hand through his hair.
“Seen who?” Remus asked.
“Around where?” Peter squeaked.
“Our women, mate! Our women!” James shouted at Remus. Remus blinked.
“Prongs, what are you talking about? We see them all the bloody time,” Sirius told James, the worry beginning to show in his voice.
James shook his head in frustration. “No! Around,” he glanced at Remus, “around the Shack.”
“What?!” Peter yelped.
“James, please tell me you’re imagining things,” Remus said softly, his face pale.
“So you haven’t seen them around the Shrieking Shack? Other than Hogsmeade weekends, of course,” James asked.
The others shook their heads no. James nodded weakly and sat down on his own bed, followed closely by three sets of eyes.
“You don’t feel at all compelled to tell us where all this is coming from?” Sirius said.
“Oh, sorry.”
“Well, go on then,” Peter urged.
James took a deep breath. “Well, in Hogsmeade, Lily and I walked up to the Shrieking Shack. And I asked her what she thought haunted it. You know, to get an outsider’s opinion. And, well, she said she didn’t think it was haunted. So, obviously, I asked her why. And she said,” he paused, “well, she said that she’d seen a stag, a dog, and a rat up there at night.”
Sirius whistled and Remus paled even further.
“That means she would’ve had to be there on the full moon, if she saw us all. And, when I asked her why she was up there, she said it was some ‘Marauderess’ secret.’ So I assume that the others were up there as well,” James thought out loud.
Remus and Sirius both swore violently.
“Well, did you tell her not to go up there anymore?” Sirius asked desperately.
“I tried, mate. Believe me. But she got angry at me. Seemed to think I was keeping something from her. Then she said she would be going up there every night until she figured out what I was hiding,” James said sadly.
“Prongs, you’ve got to tell her. It’s the only way. We can’t risk them being up there anymore,” Remus told him.
“But, she’ll tell the rest of them. I don’t care if she promises, you know she’ll tell them,” James said. “What about Kylie?”
Remus grimaced and took a deep breath. “She already knows.”
Sirius, James, and Peter looked at him. “Excuse me?” Sirius coughed.
Remus nodded. “I told her at the end of last semester,” he shrugged. “She needed to know before things went any further between us.”
“Bloody hell! What was she thinking? She knew all along and she let them go up there?” Sirius said angrily.
“You let them up there, Moony?” James asked in disbelief.
Remus shook his head. “If I knew, I never would have let them!”
Just then the door to their room creaked open and an icy voice came from the doorway.
“Like you could have stopped us!”
The four boys’ heads jerked up as they looked to the door and saw Lily, Jess, Kylie, and Emma all glaring at them. The girls walked right into the room and all climbed onto one bed.
“I just love group meetings, don’t you girls?” Kylie asked cheerily.
Emma giggled and nodded. “I do too. But, I have to say, you mates are terrible hosts. You didn’t even clean a bit!” she chastised the Marauders.
“So, what are they trying to stop us from doing?” Jess asked.
Lily shrugged. “Who knows. But they couldn’t stop us anyway, whatever it is.”
“So mates, fill us in. What don’t you want us doing?” Jess told them.
The four girls, sprawled across the bed in various positions grinned at the Marauders who had been speechless this entire time. Sirius opened and closed his mouth a few times furiously, as if he were about to say something, but couldn’t quite get it out. He looked quite like an angry goldfish.
“Alas! He speaks in tongue!” Jess exclaimed.
“Hark! He doth speak in a tone that of which canst be heard only by our canine companions!” Emma laughed.
The four girls giggled and the corner of James’ mouth twitched upwards.
“So, are you guys going to tell us what’s going on or what?” Jess said impatiently.
“Well, how much do you already know?” James asked.
“We have to tell them anyway, Prongs,” Remus sighed.
James grimaced. “Fine.”
“I knew it!” Lily shouted. “I knew you were keeping something from me!”
“Lily, please. Give us a minute to explain. He had to do it,” Remus said.
Lily glared at them in response.
“Why? Why, why, why? Why do we have to tell them anything?” Sirius spluttered.
“They need to know, Sirius. It’s more dangerous having them not know, than telling them,” Remus said. “And besides, we trust them, don’t we?”
The girls looked eagerly at each other.
James and Peter nodded their support of Remus.
Sirius sighed in resignation. “Fine.”
The Maruaderesses grinned at each other, anxious to know the great secret.
The Marauders all looked nervous, and James took a deep breath before beginning. “Well, Lily, you now how I asked you not to go near the Shrieking Shack?” Lily snorted, but James ignored her.
“Well, there was, is, a good reason for that.” He took another deep breath to steady himself. “What if I told you that one of us was a werewolf, and transformed in the Shack at every full moon?”
“We’d think you lot are a bunch of ruddy liars, that’s what,” Jess said,
Remus shook his head. “It’s the truth.”
Lily’s hand flew to cover her mouth and Jess gasped. Emma’s eyes grew wide, but Kylie fidgeted nervously and looked down.
“Who?” Emma asked quietly.
Sirius shook his head. “We’re not done yet. So, every month, one of us goes up to the Shack to transform. And, well, when the rest of us found out, we wanted to do something to help. So,” he left the sentence hanging, and Peter picked it up.
“We became Animagi. So we all go up to Hogsmeade on the full moon every month, and we go up to the Shack. We help keep the Wolf controlled, so he doesn’t hurt himself.”
“Or other people,” Remus added.
The girls looked at each other, astonishment showing in all their faces.
“Bloody hell,” Lily whispered.
“So, so who is it?” Emma asked.
James, Sirius, and Peter looked to Remus who suddenly became very interested in the floor.
“Ohmigod!” Emma cried, and threw her arms around Remus.
“Remus, I, well, you, I mean, I’m sorry,” Jess finished lamely, not knowing what to say to him.
Remus nodded. “It’s ok. Really. It happened when I was little, so I’m used to it by now, really.”
“So what Animagi did the rest of you become?” Kylie asked. The girls looked at her, wondering why she cared more about the others than her boyfriend. The Marauders, of course, didn’t notice a thing. They were used to Remus being a Werewolf, after all.
“A stag,” James said proudly.
“I’m a dog,” Sirius told them.
“A rat, but only because we needed something small to open the secret passageway we use to get us to the Shack,” Peter said quickly, blushing.
“Are you a big black dog, Sirius?” Jess asked, and Sirius nodded.
“Moony!” Lily whispered to herself.
Remus looked up. ‘What?”
“You’re nickname is Moony!” Lily said louder.
Remus smiled. “Yes. It seemed to fit rather well. And the others’ nicknames come from their other shapes too.”
“Prongs.”
“Padfoot.”
“Wormtail.”
“But, hold on a second. How did you guess that I am a black dog?” Sirius asked Jess.
Jess looked to Lily who shook her head, pleading with her eyes.
“Um, well, I’ve seen you around. And … you’re last name is Black?” Jess shrugged, tying to hid that fact the she was blushing horribly. She never was a good liar.
James, who had been watching Lily the whole time, jumped in. “Hey, come on! That’s not fair! We told you our secret, and you’re not going to tell us yours?”
Lily bit her lip. After a moment, her eyes widened and she whirled around to look at Kylie. “You haven’t said a word. What do you think about all this? You have to have something to say to Remus.”
Kylie shifted uncomfortably and mumbled something that no one could hear.
“You knew, didn’t you? You knew all along! And you let us go up there and put ourselves in danger! What were you thinking?” Lily yelled at her.
Kylie’s face grew red, and a tear fell down her cheek. “I’m sorry! But you all weren’t supposed to know! And, don’t you think it would have been suspicious if I didn’t want to,” Kylie almost slipped up, but she caught herself just in time, “didn’t want to go, on every full moon?”
“Yes, but we could have been hurt!” Lily exclaimed.
Kylie burst into tears. “I know! Don’t you think I thought of that? If we had been hurt, Remus never would have forgiven himself! Nor would any of the others. I love him! I would want him to have to live with that hanging over him for the rest of his life! But, I just couldn’t say anything, and you all are so insistent on going sometimes, and I,” she broke down completely and Remus came over and put his arm around her and she cried into his shoulder.
Lily’s hands were shaking. “Bloody hell. We must have been up there every full moon last year. We saw you guys all the time!” She paled as she realized what that meant. “Oh my God. We could have … He could have … You could have …”
James hugged her and kissed her forehead. But we’re all ok. And I, we,” he corrected himself, “will never let anything happen to you. Any of you.”
James held Lily for a few moments before asking again. “Now, I know how much you really want to tell us how and why you got up to the Shrieking Shack,” he said.
Lily winked at the girls. “Oh, we do. We want to tell you so badly,” she said sarcastically. “But, right now, I think we need a trip to the kitchens. I’m starving.”
So the eight friends made their way down through the empty castle hallways towards the Hogwarts’ kitchens. They made a lot of noise, for being out past curfew, but it is incredibly hard to get eight people in a group to be quiet.
James was in the middle of a rather difficult breakup with a suite of armor when the Headmaster bumped into them.
“Could I have a word with you, Mr. Potter? And you, Miss Evans?” he said with a light tone. “May I inquire as to your current out-of-bounds activities?”
“Ah, yes, well, we, er,” James coughed.
Lily jumped in before he said something to give them away. “We were patrolling, Sir, and we came across our fellow Gryffindors here, and, seeing as they were out-of-bounds,” she shrugged.
“We were just escorting these wild hooligans to our Head of house, Professor Dumbledore, Sir,” James added. Lily smacked her forehead. James wasn’t always the smoothest.
Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled and his mouth seemed to be twitching into a grin. “Well, I do suppose you had better get said ruffians to receive their penalties. As for me, I must resume my search “ I seem to have gotten lost,” he squinted down the corridor. “I need to find a lavatory,” and with that, their Professor wandered on, mumbling something about not saying no to a chamber pot even.
They made it down to the kitchens without further incident, and were on their way back to Gryffindor Tower with their arms full of pastries and treats and Butterbeer, when Lily stopped walking suddenly.
“Where are Sirius and Jess? Has anybody seen them in a while?” she asked.
James, Remus, and Peter sniggered.
“I’ve got threee guesses, and they’re all broom closets,” James said. “Five galleons says they won’t be back for an hour,” he bet the others.
“Make that three and I’m in. Hour and a half,” Remus said.
“Half an hour,” Peter bet.
“Half an hour? Pete, that’s mental,” James advised him.
Peter shrugged.
Lily, James, Kylie, Remus, Emma, and Peter were all sitting in the Common Room eating their dinner, although it was well past midnight. They hadn’t been back for ten minutes when Sirius stormed in through the portrait hole. Lily couldn’t help noticing his shirt collar was half up and half down, and his hair was quite ruffled.
“What the bloody hell were you all thinking?! Why the hell didn’t you ever say anything? You lot are mental! Why would you even try that?” Sirius shouted at the girls.
“Sh! Sirius, you’ll wake everyone up!” Lily told him.
“Dormitory! Now!” he roared.
Jess climbed through the portrait hole and ran over to them. She skidded to a halt in front of Sirius. “Please! I wasn’t supposed to tell, and you promised!”
“Dormitory!” he growled through clenched teeth.
They all scurried up the stairs to the boys’ dormitory and Sirius slammed the door behind them and quickly sound-proofed the room.
“Now, I would greatly appreciate it, if you would tell me,” Sirius began calmly, “WHAT IN SPOOM’S NAME WERE YOU BLOODY THINKING?!?!”
Kylie let out a little giggle. “Spoom? Who’s Spoom?””
Sirius waved a hand in the air. “It was written in one of my textbooks. It doesn’t matter!”
“Who did you get your book from?” Remus asked.
Sirius shrugged. “Blimey if I know. Something about trees. Wood, or Woody. Woods! That’s it.”
Lily pulled her wand out of her pocket. She scribbled in the air and glowing red word “WOODS” appeared in her neat script. She motioned briefly with her wand and the word flipped upside down, spelling “SPOOM.”
“Stupid git,” she muttered.
“That’s not the point!” Sirius shouted over everyone’s laughter.
Finally, everyone got a hold of themselves and Sirius continued. “Now, if you would please answer me. What in Spoom’s name were you thinking? You could have gotten hurt, or stuck! So much bloody stuff could have gone wrong! Why would you do that?!”
The girls giggled at “Spoom.”
Lily shrugged, and became very interested in her fingernails. “Well, you lot did it,” she mumbled quietly.
“So what?! You all never should have tried! I can’t believe you would even think about it! Why would you ever do that? At least we had a good reason!” Sirius raged.
“Well maybe we had a good reason too, Sirius,” Lily said stonily, before storming out of the room.
SIsiur stared after her in shock. “What? What did I say?” he stammered.
Jess rolled her eyes disgustedly. “You’re such a prat sometimes, Sirius,” she said, and left the room, followed closely by the other two Marauderesses.
The Guessing Game by SummerRain
Sirius looked around the room at Remus, James, and Peter. The girls had recently vacated the room, slamming the door angrily behind them.
“What just happened? Are they angry with me?” Sirius asked.
“It would appear so, yes,” Remus answered him.
“What did I do?” Sirius asked worriedly.
James shrugged. “What did Jess tell you?”
“Well, we were, er, talking.” Sirius coughed nervously.
“Whatever, Padfoot. It’s not like we don’t know what you were doing anyway.” Peter laughed.
Sirius grinned sheepishly. “Well, anyway, I asked her what they weren’t telling us. And how they got of the castle at night and up to the Shack.”
“And what did she say?” Remus prompted.
“Well, I’m not really sure. I mean, I know what she said, but I don’t see why they’re mad at me. It’s not as if they had a good reason, like we did.”
“What do you mean, Sirius? Had a good reason to what?” James asked.
“I don’t know!” Sirius put his head in his hands. “Why do girls have to be so complicated?”
“I don’t know, but I sure as hell cant help you figure anything out!” Peter told him.
“Yeah, mate. Just tell us, what did Jess say to you earlier?” Remus asked.
Sirius cleared his throat. “Well, as I said, we were, ah, talking, and I asked her how they got out and what their secret was. And she wasn’t paying too much attention to what I was asking,” he said.
“I wonder why.” James said sarcastically and sniggered.
Sirius shrugged, grinning. “Couldn’t tell ya, Prongs. But so, she answered sort of before she realized she wasn’t supposed to be telling me. She said … she said, ‘well let’s just say we were doing some rather complex spellwork of our own in fifth year.’”
“No!” James said.
“You’re lying!” Peter said in disbelief.
Sirius shrugged. “That’s what Jess told me, when we were in the Broom “ uh I mean, ah, a classroom.”
“You don’t think one of them could be …?” Remus asked them.
“Nah!” the other three said in unison. A second later they all looked at each other again. “Could they?”
“Nah!”
“Ahem, now I do believe a certain two Marauders owe me three Galleons each.” Peter grinned, holding out his hand.
__________________________________________________
The girls trudged slowly down the staircase into the common room, grumbling about “bloody ignorant prats.”
It was well into the early morning by then, and the girls were tired from such a long day. Jess was absolutely exhausted because she had to chase Sirius around the castle to stop him from telling them what they told her not to tell him. As she dragged her feet across the carpet, she eyed the red sofa longingly.
“Go on ahead, guys. I’m a goner. Save yourselves. It’s better this way,” she told them, and flopped onto the sofa dramatically.
“You’re just going to sleep there then?” Emma asked.
Jess snored loudly in response.
“Five Galleons says Sirius will be down her before the end of the night!” Lily laughed.
“Make it three and I’m in,” Kylie said. “He won’t be here ‘til after eleven. You know how he gets about his sleep.” She giggled.
The three girls, leaving Jess behind on the couch, went up to their own dormitory and collapsed onto their beds.
When Lily woke up, it was nearly twelve o’clock. She looked around and saw Emma and Kylie still sleeping. She then proceeded to sit on them until they woke up.
“Did we miss breakfast already? Is it time for lunch yet? I’m starved. I haven’t eaten anything for a really long time. And that’s bad. If I don’t eat, well, I die! Can we go get lunch?” Kylie asked very quickly, all in one breath.
“Yes, we missed breakfast. Yes, it’s time for lunch. No, you are not going to die. And yes, we can go get lunch now,” Lily answered her.
Emma laughed and got out of bed. “I think today feels like a sweatpants day,” she said, pulling on a pair of warm, grey sweatpants and a pink t-shirt.
Lily nodded her agreement as she put on a pair of baggy black sweats, and pulled on a tight, pale blue t-shirt.
“I think every day should be sweatpants day,” Kylie said, yawning, stepping into her own dark blue sweatpants and an orange shirt.
They all stumbled groggily down to the common room where Jess was still sleeping soundly. There was no sign of Sirius anywhere.
”Pay up, Lily,” Kylie said, grinning at her.
“Ok, let’s go eat,” Lily answered, handing Kylie the money.
“Hey, how come you wake us up, but not her?” Emma asked Lily.
Lily looked around at the crowded room. It was crowded, not because it was a weekend, people generally spent the weekends outside, but because it was pouring down rain. Gryffindors of all ages were hanging about, making quite a bit of noise. “If she can sleep through this ruckus, I really don’t think we have a chance,” she said.
Emma yawned her agreement and the three girls started down towards the Great Hall.
Not ten minutes later, Sirius woke up in his own dormitory. He looked at the other empty beds in the room, figuring he had already missed breakfast, but hadn’t quite slept through lunch, or else he would have been doused in ice cold water.
He threw on a pair of jeans and dashed down the stairs, skidding to a stop when he saw Jess sleeping. He wasn’t in the best of moods, considering he was asleep less than two minutes ago, he had a massive headache that made his head feel like it was splitting in two, and the climbing volume in the common room was the cherry on the sundae.
“Hey! HEY!” he exploded. Everyone fell silent and looked at him in awe. He was a Marauder, after all. “I want all you ruddy ignorant gits to look at that lovely sleeping girl right on that sofa. Now think about how loud you wankers just were! I want you all to leave my girlfriend here to sleep peacefully! (At this point, a few girls burst into tears, both from being shouted at by Sirius Black himself, and hearing him call someone his girlfriend.) I don’t care were you go! The library, your own dormitories, the Forbidden Forest! I. DON’T. CARE. But you’re going to go, and you’re going to go NOW!”
Everyone in the room scampered away in a matter of minutes. Sirius smiled to himself in the new silence, and headed off to the kitchens.
When Jess woke up, she opened her eyes briefly, but upon seeing what a rainy day it was, shut her eyes and rolled away from the window. She took a deep breath, and noticed something sweet in the air.
“Mmm.” She groaned and stretched out on the sofa.
“Good morning, beautiful,” she heard someone say. “Care for a spot of breakfast?”
Jess rolled back over and opened one eye grumpily. But she sat up quickly and gasped when she saw Sirius sitting next to the couch, holding a bunch of lilacs in one hand, and a tray of food, presumably from the kitchens, in the other, smiling at her. Sirius put the food on the table and held out the flowers as a peace offering.
Jess took them and threw her arms around Sirius’ neck. “Thank you! Ohmigosh, these are beautiful!” she said excitedly.
“Sleep well?” he asked.
Jess nodded as she tore into a piece of toast. “You?”
He nodded, and then proceeded to make a great show of looking out the window and sighing. “Look at all that rain.”
“So, have any plans for today?” Jess asked him.
“Well, you know, I was thinking, all the Marauds could - ” he began, but was cut off by Jess.
“Marauds? What the bloody hell does that mean?” she wondered.
“Marauds? It’s all the Marauders and Marauderesses. It’s shorter to say.” Sirius shrugged.
“Not when you have to explain it!” Jess snorted.
“Whatever. That’s not the point.” He waved a hand in the air dismissively. “I was thinking, maybe all the Marauds could play a game.”
“Have one in mind?” Jess asked cautiously.
“It’s a guessing game.”
“Called?”
“What Animagi are you?” he said casually.
Jess perked up. “Ok! So where’s everybody else?”
It took Sirius a few moments to compose himself. He had expected Jess to refuse and be angry. “Er, well, they’re probably coming back from lunch just now.”
“Oh, good. So we can play!”
“Well, yeah, sure.”
As if on cue, the other ‘Marauds’ walked into the common room.
“Hey, where is everybody? Why is this place so empty?” James asked.
“I kicked everyone out,” Sirius told him.
Emma raised her eyebrows. “Why?”
Sirius shrugged. “Jess was sleeping.”
Lily, Kylie, and Emma shared a ‘that’s so cute’ look.
“Would you guys do that for us?” Lily and Kylie asked the other Marauders.
James nodded. “Of course,” he smiled at Lily.
“Well, I’d try, but there’s no guarantee people would listen to me,” Remus answered.
“Ok, so we’re all here, and no one else is going to be here for quite some time. We all,” Sirius said, gesturing to himself and the other Marauders, “told you our animagi forms. I think it’s only fair we know yours.”
“Ooh! Wait! Can we try to guess?” Peter asked.
“How would we every possibly guess? It would take days?” James said.
Remus smiled at James’ obliviousness. “There are only four animals they could be.”
James and Sirius gave each other a confused look. “How do you figure that? There are about a million forms they could take,” Sirius told him.
“Think a minute. How many animals have you ever seen around the Shrieking Shack?” Remus asked them.
They thought for a moment. “I know I’ve seen a fox and a ferrety-thing,” Sirius supplied.
“I’ve seen a wolf and a small bear,” James answered.
“I’ve also seen this other thing a few times. It was white, and I have no idea what it was,” Peter told them.
“Well, we’ve been up there loads more than a few times,” Kylie said.
“Ok, so are you lot going to tell us what you are? Or are we going to guess?” Sirius asked.
“I think it would be fun for you to guess,” Emma said.
Jess nodded. “Guess away, gentlemen.”
“Lily, you are a,” James began slowly, “fox.”
Lily pouted. “You cheated.”
“How could I cheat?”
“I don’t know, but you got it on the first try, and that’s not fair,” she said.
“I’m sorry, but it was easy to guess, because you’re so foxy.” James grinned at her.
She laughed. “You’re pathetic.”
“Maybe, but I do have a girlfriend,” he said as he grasped her hand and intertwined their fingers.
Lily’s cheeks flushed a little. “Yes, you do,” she said, squeezing his hand.
“Somebody guess me! Somebody guess me!” Kylie shouted, bouncing up and down.
“C,” Sirius muttered under his breath.
Remus punched Sirius in the arm without bothering to pull his punch. “Watch it, Padfoot. You can’t play ‘Guess that Cup’ with our women. Against Marauder rules,” he said softly so the girls couldn’t hear.
“What was that, Sirius?” Kylie asked, her eyes narrowed angrily.
“Er, I said, uh, see, see how much fun this is, Jess?” Sirius lied.
Jess nodded doubtfully. “Sure you did.” Sirius grinned roguishly at her.
“Are you the bear, Kylie?” Peter asked.
“No!” Kylie growled. “Not that there’s anything wrong with it, of course,” she added hastily.
“Are you a wolf?” Remus prompted.
“No,” Kylie looked around the room, as she tried to lie, but failed horribly.
“So, we have Jess and Emma left to be either a bear, or a weasel-type-thing,” Sirius thought out loud. “You a bear, Jess?”
“Nope,” she shook her head.
“So, Emma, you’re the little bear,” James said.
“And Jess, that would make you a, well, a whatever that thing is,” Peter said.
“It’s a mongoose! Golly!” she said, laughing at her new word.
“Like Rikki-Tikki-Tavi,” Sirius said.
Jess nodded excitedly. “That was my favorite bedtime story, growing up.”
“I wonder what the plural of ‘mongoose’ is,” Lily mused.
“Mongeese,” James answered right away.
“Maybe it’s mongi,” Peter said.
“Mongooses?” Kylie suggested.
“I don’t think it matters. Have you ever seen more than one mongoose together at a time?” Remus asked them all. No one could answer yes.
“Well, that game’s over. Anyone up for some Truth or Dare?” Sirius asked.
Everyone agreed. “Ok, then. Kylie - truth or dare?” Sirius asked.
Kylie thought for a moment. “Dare.”
“I dare you to sing The Littlest Worm song while wearing a pair of knickers on your head.”
Kylie gasped and blushed furiously. “You’re evil!” Sirius grinned maliciously.
“Do they have to be mine?” Kylie asked.
“Your what?”
“Knickers!” she mumbled.
Everyone burst out laughing, while Sirius nodded.
Kylie disappeared up the stairs for a moment and returned sporting a red, orange, pink, and yellow striped headdress.
“This is a repeat after me song!” she shouted, giggling like mad.
“This is a repeat after me song!” the Marauds gasped between fits of laughter.
“The littlest worm (The littlest worm)
You ever saw (You ever saw)
Got stuck inside (Got stuck inside)
My soda straw (My soda straw)
The littlest worm you ever saw (You ever saw!)
Got stuck inside my soda straw.
He said to me (He said to me)
"Don't take a sip ("Don't take a sip)
For if you do (For if you do)
I’ll surely slip (I’ll surely slip)
He said to me, "Don't take a sip, (Don’t take a sip!)
For if you do, I’ll surely slip.
I took a sip (I took a sip)
And he went down (And he went down)
Into my pipes (Into my pipes)
He must have drowned (He must have drowned)
I took a sip and he went down (And he went down!)
Into my pipes, he must have drowned
He was my pal (He was my pal)
He was my friend (He was my friend)
There is no more (There is no more)
This is the end (This is the end)
He was my pal, he was my friend (he was my friend!)
There is no more, this is the end.
Now don't you fret (Now don't you fret)
Now don't you fear (Now don't you fear)
That little worm (That little worm)
Had scuba gear (Had scuba gear)
Now don't you fret, now don't you fear, (Now don’t you fear!)
That little worm had scuba gear!”
As soon as she was done, Kylie flew up the stairs to remove her stunning headpiece.
She sat back down and looked at her friends. “James. Truth or dare.”
“Dare!” James responded.
Kylie smirked. “I dare you to run a lap around the Great Hall during dinner tonight in just your boxers.”
“Alright,” he complied. “Any particular requests?”
Kylie shook her head. “Just nothing plain and boring.”
“Your turn, Prongs,” Sirius said. The girls missed the wink that passed between Sirius and James.
“Lils, truth or dare?”
“Truth,” she answered distractedly. A minute later, she clapped her hand over he mouth. “Dare! I meant dare!” Sirius smirked.
“Ok. So, before we started going out, when did you most feel like giving in and not pretending to hate me anymore?” James asked her.
Sirius smacked himself on the head. “James! What’re you doing?” James shrugged.
Lily thought for a moment before answering. Probably in fourth year.”
“Tell us about it!” Kylie requested excitedly.
“Alright, take a breath there, Kylie,” Lily said, before telling her story.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Lily stepped out onto the grounds and looked around. It was a beautiful spring day; the sky was a bright blue with puffy white clouds, there was a cool breeze, and the sun beamed down onto her face. She began making her way down towards the Quidditch pitch where Kylie and Jess were saving her a seat.
It was Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff today, and Emma had been Gryffindor team Seeker since second year. Plus, James Potter was on the team.
“So, when does this thing start?” Lily asked as she sat down next to Kylie.
“A few seconds,” Jess said, nodding towards the field. Lily looked down and watched as the captains shook hands, and the game began.
Five minutes into the game, James had scored three goals for Gryffindor, and a large portion of the crowd was cheering wildly. James did a victory lap around the ring, halting in front of Lily.
“Milady, I shall win this match for you!” he told her. “If the noble Gryffindors emerge victiorious from this contest, wilt thou honor me with a date?”
Lily looked over at Kylie. “He’s not talking to me. Is he talking to me? Please, tell me he’s not talking me.”
Kylie laughed at her. “Yes, Lily, he is talking to you. You’re just going to have to say no.”
Lily turned back to James, who was hovering in the air, his eyes darting apprehensively to the Hufflepuff chaser who was in possession of the quaffle. He looked back to her apprehensively. “No, I can’t,” she said.
He zoomed off and the game continued. Hufflepuff scored two goals, and Gryffindor answered right back with two of their own. Everyone held their breath when Emma and Grindalf Periwinkle, the Hufflepuff seeker, raced from one end of the pitch to the other, but nothing came of it.
James scored two more quick goals and flew back over to Lily. “Wouldst thou goest outeth with me now?”
Lily shook her head, smiling to herself as he flew away. He was trying so hard. It was absolutely adorable.
James continued to score all throughout the game, and every two or three goals, he would speed over to Lily and ask her out, using a new ridiculous accent.
The game was nearing on an hour and half, with no further sightings of the snitch. It was getting quite vicious “ beaters hitting people instead of bludgers, people trying, and some succeeding, in knocking others off their brooms.
Lily, Jess, and Kylie watched excitedly as James carried the quaffle down towards the Hufflepuff goal, when Grindalf flew over top of him and kicked him in the back of the head. James dropped the quaffle but managed to get it back and continued towards the goal. Meanwhile, Emma sped over and flew right next to Grindalf. She spun around quickly, hitting him with her broom, and knocking him off backwards.
Grindalf fell to the ground, but got up again, and remounted his broom, despite a rather oddly hanging arm. He kicked off hard, a furious look on his face.
By this time, James had scored yet another goal, brining the score up to an even 250, Hufflepuff trailing behind with 30.
James flew over to Lily for what was the fourth time, at least. “Art thou still disinclined to acquiest my request?”
Lily blinked. “What?” He couldn’t just ask her out properly and say “Lily, will you go out with me?” He hadn’t done so yet, thank God, or else she probably would have said yes. As it was, however, she was amused by his various approaches, and was interested in seeing what all he could come up with.
“Doest thou still refuse to accompany me to Hogsmeade on the next outing?”
“Bloody hell, Potter!” she screamed in frustration. “If I go out with you once, will you stop bothering me?”
James thought for a moment, before grinning guiltily at her. “Probably not.”
“Then there’s no point in it anyway, so no.”
James flew away degradedly, and still the game went on.
Before James could score another goal, though, the seekers began speeding towards the ground. Everyone else in the game stopped playing to watch.
Emma and Grindalf sped closer and closer to the ground, neck in neck. They both pulled out of the dive beautifully, and zoomed towards the Gryffindor goalposts. Emma inched ahead of Grindalf and stretched out her hand. Suddenly, a bludger came spinning out of nowhere, hit Emma’s shoulder, and knocked her sideways, away from the snitch. Grindalf caught the snitch with an extra burst of speed, and landed victoriously. He looked around for his teammates, and when his eyes passed over the scoreboard, his face fell.
The Gryffindor team cheered and flew over to James “ who had undoubtedly won the game for them. “Party in the common room, eh?” he shouted. Everyone cheered again.
Lily stared as James and the rest of the team went off to the locker rooms. Kylie smiled. “Earth to Lily! Come back to us, Lily!”
Lily tore her eyes away from James and looked to her best friend.
“You were staring again,” Kylie told her.
Lily sighed. “I know, I can’t help it! I should have just said yes and gone out with him. He’s amazing!”
“He did win the game for us,” Kylie pointed out. “And he probably asked you out at least five times today.”
“I know,” Lily moaned.
“I still don’t see why you won’t just go out with him already.”
“I want to, Kylie, but I just can’t!”
Kylie shrugged. “Well, don’t come crying to me when he starts liking somebody else. You should just go out with him already, and stop pretending”
Lily was back to staring at the locker room, where she knew James was right now. “I’m not sure I can keep it up for much longer anyway.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“For not being sure you could keep it up, you did just fine for the next year,” Sirius commented.
Lily shrugged, smiling.
“So, really, how many ways did you ask her out?” Remus asked James.
Kylie giggled. “It must have been a hundred. It was so cute!” she pinched James cheek.
He glared at her. “It was not.”
The other Maruaders looked at him, waiting.
“Oh, alright!” he said grumpily, and they grinned. This was prime mock-material.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
James stood in the locker room with his teammates, waiting to go out onto the pitch. It was an important game today.
“Nervous, Potter?” Aubrey Wood, the team captain, asked him.
James looked at her. “Am I ever nervous?”
Aubrey shrugged. “We’ve got quite a winning streak going. And, this is a really important game.”
“I know, I know. Relax, Aubrey. Have I ever lost a game for you?” he said, grinning arrogantly.
“No. Just, do what you always do,” Wood told him, and they followed the rest of the team outside. James swung a leg over his broom, and prepared to take off. The whistle blew and …
“Er, James?” Remus said timidly.
“What?” he answered, irritated they interrupted his story after working so hard to get him to tell it.
“We were all there. We saw the game. We know you were the hero. All we want to know is about you and Lily,” Emma told him.
James glared at them all. “It’s such a good story!”
“Prongs, mate. WE. DON’T. CARE,” Sirius said.
James sighed. “Fine. But if you all ever want to hear about, it’s not problem. I’d love to tell it.”
“NO!” they all shouted together.
James winced, and sulking, picked up his story.
James quickly scored three goals and the Gryffindor section was cheering like mad. James flew a victory lap, stopping in front of the Gryffindors. His eyes scanned the crowd and fell upon the bright smile of a red-haired girl. The smile on her face fell when she saw him.
James didn’t notice, however, and he ran a hand through his hair. “Milady, I shall win this match for you! If the noble Gryffindors emerge victorious from this trial, wilt thou honor me with a date?” he asked.
He watched as Lily turned to her friend next to her. They exchanged a few words and Lily turned back to him. “No, I cant.”
James heard a whistle blow behind him, so he spun around to get back into the game. After he had scored another two goals, and Gryffindor was safely in the lead, he flew back over to Lily.
“Wouldst thou goest outeth with me now?” he asked. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a Hufflepuff chaser score two goals in a row. “Shit,” he swore under his breath, and looked back at Lily quickly.
She shook her head, smiling faintly. James looked over his shoulder, and jerked his broom around, hurrying off again, muttering.
Three goals later, he was back. This time, he had conjured up a pair of dark sunglasses and a mobster hat. “So, uh, is you gonna go out wit’ me, or what? If not, I might have to whack a few people, ya know what I’m sayin’?”
Lily giggled. “What are you, in the mafia?”
“I’m in da family bidness,” he told her.
“Well, no, I’m afraid that lifestyle is a bit too violent for me,” she said, almost regretfully.
James’ hat and sunglasses disappeared, and he returned to the game, smiling to himself. She was giving in. He could tell.
It was nearly fifteen minutes before he had gotten another three goals and found himself in front of Lily Evans again. “Ill-way you-yay o-gay o-tay Ogsmeade-hay ieth-way e-may?” he asked.
“What bloody language are you speaking, Potter?”
“Pig Latin!” he answered. “I thought everyone knew Pig Latin.”
“Well, seeing as I am neither Latin, nor a Pig,” she said.
“You make a strong argument,” James consented.
“I don’t know exactly what you said, but I’m pretty sure I got the gist of it, so no.”
James sighed a flew off again, only to return a few moments later, this time with a cowboy hat.
“Howdy, Miss Lily! How’d you like to come with me to that Hog-town this weekend?”
Lily snorted and laughed. “Hog-town? That really doesn’t sound too nice. I’ll have to pass.”
James came back one more time before Grindalf caught the snitch. “Art thou still disinclined to acquiest my request?”
“What?”
James smiled. He didn’t even know properly what he had said. “Doest thou still refuse to accompany me to Hogsmeade on the next outing?”
He watched Lily’s eyes practically smolder as she let out a scream of frustration. “Bloody hell, Potter! If I go out with you this once, will you stop bothering me?” she asked, almost giving in out of anger.
James flashed her a guilty grin and ruffled his hair. “Probably not,” he answered truthfully.
She smirked. “Then there’s really no point in it anyway, so no.”
James flew off to try to get one last goal, thinking to himself that maybe, maybe she wasn’t worth all the trouble.
Before he could score again, however, the seekers went into a dive, and after a bit of rough play, the Hufflepuff seeker, Grindalf, came up with the snitch.
James grinned, realizing Gryffindor had won, largely due to his efforts, and his smile grew wider as the team crowded around him, congratulating him.
“Party in the common room, eh?” he shouted, and everyone cheered even louder. James sighed. It was nice to be appreciated. The thought brought his eyes back around to look at Lily. He thought their eyes connected for a moment. And in that moment, he disregarded his earlier thought. She was most definitely worth all the trouble in the world.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
All the girls sighed collectively, but the Marauders just rolled their eyes.
“That’s so adorable!” Emma squealed.
“And to think, she would hardly even talk to him for the first four years!” Kylie said.
Lily smiled at them. “I had me reasons.”
Jess snorted. “If it was me, those reasons wouldn’t have meant shit after about third year.”
“I’m glad to hear my efforts were appreciated by someone,” James said, glaring at Lily.
“I guess the game is over then,” Peter mumbled.
“It most certainly is not!” Sirius said loudly. “Lily, I believe it would be your turn.”
“Well, since you are so keen on playing, Sirius Black,” she said menacingly, “truth or dare?”
“You really needn’t even ask.”
“Fine. I dare you … ” Lily looked around the room for inspiration. There was a piece of parchment, some books, someone’s school robes … someone’s school robes … “I dare you to wear Jess’ uniform for a whole day. Skirt, jumper, and all.”
Sirius’ jaw dropped. “Do you realize how short Jess’ skirts are?” he asked her in shock. “Not that I normally have a problem with that,” he said to Jess, “but my whole bloody legs will be showing!”
Lily smiled. “Deal with it, Black!”
Sirius’ eyes narrowed as he scowled at her, but brightened immediately when he turned to Emma. “Truth or dare, Emma?”
“Truth,” she answered with a little sigh. She always wanted to pick “dare,” but somehow, it always came out as “truth.”
“Why did you lot become Animagi?” Sirius crowed triumphantly.
Emma glanced at Lily who was biting her lip, staring at the floor. “That’s not really for me to tell, Sirius,” Emma said.
“Oh, come on! We told you all. It’s only bloody fair!” Sirius shouted angrily.
“It’s complicated,” Kylie said.
“It’s different,” Jess tried to explain.
“No, he’s right. They told us, so … it’s only fair,” Lily said softly.
“Are you sure?” Kylie asked her.
“Yeah. You guys tell them. I’m going to go take a walk somewhere.”
James looked at her. “Do you want me to come?”
Lily smiled sadly. “Don’t you want to hear too?”
James waved a hand in the air dismissively. “It doesn’t matter. Do you want me to come?”
Lily didn’t answer for a minute, but finally nodded her head, and they climbed out of the tower together.
Lily stayed silent as they walked, trying to hold the memories at bay, but they would not be kept out. James walked beside her supportively, not saying a word. He understood what she needed now was silence.
They were in the Entrance Hall before James realized Lily’s intended destination. “Lily! Lily, it’s pouring down rain. You can’t go outside!”
“It’s a warm day,” she answered, pulling open the giant door.
“But it’s raining!” James insisted.
“I like the rain,” she said simply, and stepped outside. She took a few steps out onto the grass and paused. She looked briefly up at the sky, before stretching out her arms and twirling about. She spun in a circle “ there was the castle, the lake, the forest “ again and again, faster and faster, until the world around her was a blur and everything made sense, because nothing made sense anymore. And then she stopped, so abruptly that she fell over and lay on her back, looking up at the dark sky. Raindrops pelted her face, disguising the single tear that she let slip down her face.
When it became apparent that she wasn’t getting up anytime soon, James stepped into the rain and sat down next to her. The ground was wet, and quickly soaked him through while rainwater collected on his glasses.
He sat there, getting wetter, waiting for Lily to break the silence.
“I’m the one who suggested it,” she admitted to him finally, speaking of why the girls had become Animagi.
James said nothing, only waited, afraid that to speak would be to interrupt her thoughts and silence her again. For now, he just needed to listen.
Even so, it was another few minutes before Lily said anything else, but when she did, she launched straight into her story, no warning, no introduction. Just a haunting memory.
“It was sunny out. Not a cloud in the sky, a slight breeze. A beautiful day. Kylie, Emma, Jess, and I were in Diagon Alley for the day, buying all our school supplies. It was the summer before fifth year. My parents stayed home, but Petunia was spending the day with her boyfriend Vernon.
“We finished shopping, and took the train home. We were all staying at my house for the week. My house was about two miles from the trainstop “ all alone. We walked home. It was nearly dark when we arrived.”
Up until that point, Lily’s voice had been steady and dull. She had kept it free of emotion, but when she started again, her voice was shaking, and James thought she was close to tears.
“They were there. Putting up the Dark Mark. There was nothing we could do. We hid in the trees until they left. They killed my parents. I don’t even know why. They were bloody Muggles that never did anything wrong. But they killed them.”
Lily sat up, rubbing at her eyes, and James put his arms about her. She broke into a full wave of tears. It had been so horrible. She had put it out of her mind for so long, and now retelling it was like reliving it. The horror of coming home to those dark figures in masks and hoods, the green image floating above her home. Her gasp of terror, and her friends, looking awkwardly from her to the house and back, not knowing what to say.
After a few minutes, when the tears had slowed, she wiped her eyes dry and continued talking. “We were talking later. Jess and Kylie thought they were after me for one reason or another. We realized that if they were after me, when they came for me, whether I was with the other Marauderesses or not, we didn’t stand a chance. We couldn’t fight them. You can’t hide, or run. They find you eventually. And then, we thought, there was a way we could hide, and run, and they would never know. Maybe. And so,” Lily stopped.
“So you became Animagi,” James finished. Lily nodded.
James took a hesitant breath. “I know that maybe seem like you’re only defense but … the Death Eaters are cold, heartless people and - ”
“They killed my parents for no reason,” Lily said coldly, interrupting him. “Don’t you think I know that?”
“What I mean is, if … if they really are after you, and they show up and find an empty house, they’ll be angry. And if they see something, anything, even a little fox, they’ll kill it instead, just for fun, to take out their anger on it,” James tried to keep his voice calm, tried not to let the worry seep through.
Lily nodded. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.” She paused for a moment. “Well, no. I mean, I know that it was never really a logical … well, a good idea, but it was something to do. It felt good to be doing something. It distracted me, for a while, at least. I could think about getting the spell right, rather than my parents.”
________________________________________
The next day, Lily didn’t speak to anyone. If she was asked a question, it was “yes,” “no,” or “I don’t care.” She didn’t go to Great Hall once “ didn’t eat anything. She spent the whole day sitting in a large armchair in front of the fire in the common room, with an unread book open in her lap.
Lily kept up her silence for the next three days. She went to class, did all her work, all her homework, and didn’t say a word. She popped into the Great Hall at dinner times, but never stayed “ always disappeared up to Gryffindor Tower to eat.
James had been watching her carefully, waiting for her to start talking again.
At dinner on the fourth day of her muteness, James watched her come in, grab a few pieces of bread, and leave right away. She was avoiding people entirely by now, not giving anyone even a chance to talk to her.
“I’m really worried about her,” James said to the others.
”We all are!” Emma said. “But what else can we do?”
“We’ve tried to talk to her,” Jess said.
“We’ve tried getting her to do stuff,” Peter added.
“I know!” James ruffled his hair in frustration. “I know. Was she like this after it actually happened?”
Kylie shook her head. “She took it really well. She didn’t talk about it or anything. I don’t think she ever even cried …” Kylie slowed down, as she realized what she was saying. “Shit! She’s been keeping it in all this time! That stupid cow! What was she bloody thinking?”
James didn’t hear the rest of Kylie’s curses. He was out of his seat and halfway out of the Great Hall before the others could even move.
When he reached the tower, he took a few deep breaths, and slipped quietly through the portrait hole. James found her sitting in a large armchair, staring absently into the fire. Her knees were brought against her chest, and her arms were wrapped around them.
James quietly walked over and obviously sat down in the chair next to Lily’s. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked her for the hundredth time.
Lily stared into the fireplace as the flames danced about and crackled merrily. James looked over at Lily. He could see the reflection of the flames in her eyes. He reckoned she had already forgotten he was even there.
“Have you done your Potions essay yet?” he asked, trying a different approach.
She nodded absently.
“How long is yours?”
Lily shrugged indifferently. At least she was responding.
“Do you know Andy Letton?” James asked her, but she didn’t answer. He continued anyway. “Well, he’s the Hufflepuff Quidditch captain, and he was telling about this thing, this Inner Net. Do you know anything about it?”
“Internet,” she corrected him softly, her eyes still locked on the fireplace.
“Yeah! That thing! Anyway, he was saying how Muggles use it and they can talk to each other on it. They can write something, and then someone else across an ocean can read it in a minute! Is that true?”
“Yeah, I guess,” she mumbled, shrugging.
“And he also said that every Muggle has one in their home. Do they really? It seems a little ridiculous that they depend on it so much,” he said.
“”Yeah,” was all Lily answered. James didn’t know what she was saying “yeah” too “ all Muggles having it, or it being ridiculous. But it didn’t matter. As long as she was answering in some way.
“Speaking, ah, speaking of homes,” James began cautiously, “Where … where have you been living?”
He saw a tear spilling down her cheek before she suddenly hopped up out of her chair and scurried over to his, nestling in beside him. James folded her into arms protectively.
“Petunia and I have a flat,” Lily answered. She sensed his surprise and continued before he could even ask. “She was already eighteen at the time, and could legally live on her own. I would have been sent to an orphanage for a year, and she doesn’t hate me all that much.”
“Does she … hate you because of what happened?” James asked gently.
“Well, that really didn’t help anything, but she didn’t like me even before that,” Lily said. She was rather used to the fact that her only living family detested her, and so said it quite matter-of-factly.
“Why is that?” James asked.
To his surprise, Lily actually giggled. James smiled in relief. This was good.
“Well, it’s actually quite funny. When I was little, I did some magic accidentally, you know how that is, and well, she was almost eleven. Anyway, there was a misunderstanding somewhere at the Ministry, and she got a letter to come to Hogwarts. She made it about a month into term before they realized she was a Muggle, through and through. So she was sent home and when I got my letter and really was a witch … well, she was more than a little jealous, let me tell you.”
“So, she hates you because … she’s not a witch?” James clarified.
“Yeah, basically.”
“But you two live together?”
“Well, yes. In a way. When we’re on holiday here and I go home, she always stays over Vernon’s house, or with one of her other friends. We never actually live together. She used to be okay, after I got my letter and all. She could still stand to be in the same room as me, back then. Things weren’t the same between us, but she at least would talk to me occasionally. But after,” Lily paused to blink back tears, “after fifth year, she didn’t want to ever be around me. Seemed to think I was back luck, or something. Silly cow.” Lily rubbed at her eyes furiously.
“Lily, it’s okay to cry sometimes,” James told her.
Lily shook her head. “No. It’s not. Crying is a weakness. I can’t take control of my life if I can’t even keep a hold of my tears, now can I?”
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard, Lily,” James told her.
Lily giggled.
“I’m serious, Lils. That’s completely mental!”
Lily laughed even harder at that, and soon her laughter turned into tears. Tears that had been held in for two years. Tears that needed to be let go.
She cried into James’ shoulder, taking comfort in his warmth and strength and solidity. James held her and let her cry, her tears dripping down her face and onto his shirt, soaking his shoulder.
After there were no more tears left in her, she pulled away and wiped at her eyes again.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“For what?” James asked.
“For being here. For letting me cry. For listening. For knowing I needed to talk,” she said. Her voice dropped to a whisper again. “For not giving up on me when I wouldn’t go out with you for five years. You’re all I’ve got now.”
“That’s not true!” James protested, but Lily shushed him quickly.
“It is! It is true. So, thank you. For always being here when I need you.”
“I’ll always be here, Lily,” he whispered. “By your side. Forever.”
A week passed by and Lily Evans was speaking again. She wasn’t quite the same: she was quieter than usual, and could often be found sitting by herself, but she hadn’t cried again, and she followed normal eating and sleeping patterns.
But of course, if this was to last, I would not have told you a week had gone by. It is perfectly acceptable, of course, for when one’s parents die and one suppresses the pain and the tears for two years, when it is finally let go, one is bound to have more than one good cry about it.
And so it was that a week later, James Potter was in the Great Hall with his friends and it just so happened that he was noting the absence of a certain piece of his heart. Lily Evans, to name that piece, had not made an appearance, and had been strangely quiet that day.
James stood up from the table and strode out of the Hall quickly, ignoring the Marauders’ calls behind him, inquiring as to where he was going. If they had any sense, they would know, James thought. He scrambled through the portrait hole and scanned the common room and immediately saw that Lily wasn’t there.
There were a few people in the common room, studying, playing chess or Gobstones, but the two chairs in front of the fire were empty - the chairs where he and Lily had sat in a week ago when she had had her first good cry. One of the chairs, Lily’s, had a stack of books in it. A small, folded slip of parchment was lying on top of the books.
It was strange that those chairs should be empty. Winter was beginning to come awake, and there was an evident nip in the air. In front of the fireplace was a popular place to sit after dinner (one which the Marauders usually claimed). James walked over to the chairs and saw the parchment had his name on it. He unfolded the note and found a three word message.
Can we talk?
There was no signature, but she had drawn a picture beneath the message “ a lily, pointing towards the stairs to the boys’ dormitories.
James took the stairs two at a time and reached his dormitory in seconds. Lily was curled up on his bed, sleeping. He shut the door softly and walked over to his bed. He sat down gently beside her and began to stroke her hair. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying.
James silently cursed himself for not noticing that she was missing sooner.
“Lils?” he breathed, stroking her hair.
Lily’s eyelids fluttered open and she gave him a sad half smile as she sat up.
“What’s up?” James asked her.
Lily looked down and absently spun a bracelet she was wearing around her wrist. Before she could answer, Peter walked into the room.
“Oh … uh, sorry. Were you … ? Well, it doesn’t matter. I’m leaving. I just wanted to grab my Gobstones set. Sorry again,” Peter apologized quickly, rushing to his trunk and throwing its contents to the floor in search of his Gobstones.
“It’s all right, Peter. You don’t have to leave,” Lily told him before turning to James. “Could we go for a walk? The others are bound to come up here soon anyway.”
James nodded. “Yeah, let’s go.”
They wandered the school’s corridors aimlessly, chatting idle about their schoolwork, their teachers, their friends, and other rather insignificant things. James carefully avoided the topic of Lily’s family, knowing she would mention it when she was ready.
They weren’t keeping track of time, or even where they were really, so when they finally noticed the time, it was well past curfew, and they had no idea what floor they were on. And by that time, the weren’t really in the mood to care, so they continued to drift about the castle.
“Can you believe Slughorn’s face today in potions? When he got to me?” James asked.
“Can you believe what your Befuddlement Draught looked like?” Lily said.
James puffed out his chest and threw his arms in the air, imitating their potions professor. “What’s going on here?”
Lily laughed and took James’ glasses and put them on. “Nothing, sir. We’re just making our potion,” she said, pretending to be James.
“Dear boy, that’s not right. That’s not right at all! It looks like your making chowder!” James flailed his arms about and twitched his nose back and forth as if he had a moustache.
“Would you like to try some Professor? My mum always said I was a good cook,” Lily offered.
James twitched his nose again. “She’s still alive! It’s a wonder you haven’t poisoned her!”
“She did get food poisoning once, sir,” Lily said.
Their fun was ended abruptly when James, not paying attention, walked headfirst into a suit of armor. He and the armor both fell down with a loud crash. James and Lily broke out into laughter. It took nearly five minutes for Lily to successfully pull James up off the floor, seeing as they were both in hysterics.
“Honestly, James, your potion looked dangerous!”
“Slughorn seemed to think so too,” James laughed. “Did you see how fast he waddled back to his desk after I said my mum got food poisoning?”
“James, your potion was bubbling violently! I don’t blame him!” Lily giggled.
“Well then, maybe I should work with you next class instead of Peter,” James suggested.
“You wouldn’t let me get any work done!”
“You’re probably right,” he agreed.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Lily said.
“I think it’s a great idea!”
“What’s wrong with getting work done?” Lily asked.
“Nothing. Unless, of course, the work is keeping you from spending time with me. Then everything is wrong with it,” he told her.
Lily smiled. “I suppose you’re right.”
“You suppose?!”
Lily turned to look at him. “Yes. I suppose!” Next thing she knew, James was kissing her, his soft lips pressed against hers, his hand on the back of her neck and the sweet outdoorsy scent he always had filling her nose. James slid his other hand down the small of her back.
Lily pulled her head back. “I know you’re right,” she said breathlessly. James grinned and leaned towards her again, but they were interrupted by the sound of someone breathing heavily, coming up the stairs.
“Hello? What’s going on up there?” a voice wheezed. Lily and James froze. They were standing right next to the staircase, although they didn’t know where they were exactly.
“If you’re a student, stay right there! I’ll have to give you a detention for being out of bed after hours!”
James peeked around the corner and pulled his head back quickly. “It’s Professor Swittle!”
“He doesn’t like either of us!” Lily whispered.
“Let’s go!” James grabbed her hand and they ran down the hallway. They turned the corner and found another set of stairs just as Professor Swittle appeared on the landing holding a lantern. Lily and James ran up a few flights of stairs and down a corridor past a tapestry of some trolls.
“We need somewhere to hide!” Lily whispered.
“Shit! It’s a dead end! Go back! There’s nowhere to hide here!” James cursed and turned back down the hallway.
“James! We have to hide!”
They skidded to a halt in front of the stairs as Professor Swittle appeared at the bottom with his lantern. “Stop right there!” he called out. “Who is that? Miss Evans?” he asked, squinting at them through the darkness.
“There’s got to be a classroom down here! A broom closet, even! Bloody hell! We just need a place to hide!” Lily cursed as they made their third trip down the hallway.
They were just passing the tapestry of the trolls when Lily saw a door appear in the wall. Professor Swittle was still climbing the stairs, so she yanked the door open and pulled James inside. They slammed the door behind them and leaned up against it.
“He had to have seen us come in here!” James said. He wasn’t breathing heavily at all. Quidditch had him in good shape. Not that Lily minded that at all, but as she was leaning against door, panting, and holding her side, she was a little envious.
“No. He was still on the stairs,” she gasped. “And besides,” she paused to take a deep breath, “there wasn’t anywhere else to go!”
James chuckled. “You need to get in shape, Lily.”
Lily nodded and took a few more deep breaths. “I know! I’ll have to work on that.” Lily looked around the room, still trying to catch her breath. It was small, but cheerfully decorated in every shade of yellow imaginable. The walls were a pale, washed out, almost white yellow, and there was a small golden table, upon which rested a few bottles of Butterbeer. Behind the table was a banana yellow sofa. There was nothing else in the room.
“Have you ever been in this room before?” Lily asked.
“No, I can’t say that I have, but there are lots of places I’ve never been before,” James anwered.
“In the castle?” Lily clarified.
“No, no I’ve been everywhere in the castle.”
“How can you be so sure?”
James smirked. “Trust me. I have.”
“You seem quite confident about that,” Lily told him. “Annoyingly so, in fact.”
“Don’t you just love me when I’m annoyingly confident?” James grinned at her.
“Why yes, yes I do.”
Lily began to giggle. James grinned at first, thinking she was laughing at him, but she kept on laughing, much too long to be laughing at him. Lily leaned her head back against the door and closed her eyes, still laughing.
“What’s so funny?” James asked.
Lily shook her head helplessly. A tear even squeezed out of her eye, she was laughing so hard.
After a bit, Lily stood up, holding her stomach, which was currently in pain. “Do you think Swittle is still out there?”
James shrugged. “Are you in a hurry to leave?”
“No.”
“Well then, I propose we stay here and break into the butterbeer that has been so generously provided.”
Lily plopped herself onto the couch and grabbed a bottle from the table. James stayed where he was a watched her She drank the whole thing incredibly quickly, staring at the empty yellow walls. When the bottle was empty, she was still for a few minutes. Suddenly, she threw the bottle against the wall and it shattered loudly and the pieces tinkled to the floor.
Lily Evans was tired of hiding. She hid from her grief during the day and put on a smile for everyone. She hid from the Death Eaters in her dreams. She hid away from her friends when they tried to help her. She hid from her own feelings when they got too strong. She was sick of it. She was not going to hide anymore. From anything.
“I hate them!” she screamed. “I HATE THEM!” She picked up another bottle, full this time, and threw it to the floor. It cracked open and a puddle slowly spread. “Why? Why my family? There’s nothing special about us! Why did they have to kill my parents! Those bloody goddamn fucking greasy slimeballs! I hate them!”
James let her scream until she wasn’t angry anymore, watching her silently. Finally she collapsed back onto the couch. She wasn’t crying, though she looked as if she might. James made his way over and sat down next to her. He took both of her hands in his. “Lily, why didn’t you ever tell me? Or anyone?”
Lily shook her head. “I guess, I guess I was just trying to be brave. I thought maybe I could just ignore it, and it wouldn’t seem so bad. And I had to be strong. I didn’t want you to think of me as just another stupid girl.”
“Lily, I have never once, since I met you thought you were just another girl.” She was looking down at her hands, so James cupped her chin in one hand and made her look in his eyes. “Never. You are so much more than that, Lils. Honestly, do you have any idea how much you mean to me?”
Lily smiled slightly. “How much do I mean to you?”
“You mean more to me than the Chuddley Cannons winning the Qudditich Cup!”
“That’s an awful lot,” Lily said.
“I’m not done yet!” James told her. She smiled. “You mean more to me than all the broomsticks in the entire world. You mean more to me than … than … you mean more to me than my invisibility cloak!”
Lily smiled even wider. “Are you finished yet?”
“I could be. As long as you have an idea of how much “‘’ Lily suddenly threw herself upon him, kissing him, and interrupting his sentence. She threw her arms around his neck and he gently wrapped his strong arms around her waist.
She broke away and put her lips against his ear and whispered, “I love you.”
The Smelly Hippogriff Chip by SummerRain
James slowly traced a finger along Lily’s jaw. “I love you more.”
Lily bit her lip and smiled shyly at him. She looked down to hide the red creeping into her cheeks.
“I love it when you do that,” James said softly.
“Do what?”
He smiled. “You get all shy, and you blush, and you bite your lip and try not to smile, even though you obviously want to.”
“I do that? How often do I do it?”
“This would be … the third time ever,” James said. “Good thing, too, because you’re completely irresistible when you do it.” James kissed her left cheek. “I just can’t seem,” he paused and kissed her right cheek, “to help myself,” he paused again and gently brushed his lips over hers, “when you look like that.”
Lily smiled. “Do you remember the first time?”
“Absolutely. It was in fifth year.”
* * * * * * * * * *
James Potter swaggered down the hallway with Sirius Black by his side. The corridor was deserted, save for them, probably because class had already started. They were headed to History of Magic. They never bothered being on time for Professor Binns. As they rounded a corner, they saw someone coming out of a classroom.
“Late for class, aren’t we, boys?” the figure sneered.
“Late for a bath, aren’t you, Snape?” James answered.
“Where are we off to, Snivelly?” Sirius asked.
“Why would I tell you, Black? So you could take one of your shortcuts, come out in front of me and hex me, I suppose? That sounds like jolly fun chaps, but I’ll have to take a rain-check,” Snape told them sarcastically.
“Oh, Snivelly, you really think we would waste our time on you. How sad. We’re due in Binns’ class, so we must bid you adieu,” Sirius told him.
“That’s right. Better hurry along, Potter. You’re wasting time you could be spending wishing you were going out with that little Mudblood.”
James narrowed his eyes. “You watch your mouth, Snape.”
“Admit it, Potter, she’s out of your league.”
“Oh, and I suppose you think she’s within your reach, do you?” Sirius said, but Snape ignored him and stared start at James, smirking.
“She loves me. She just doesn’t know it yet. But you, on the other hand. You need a bath, and everyone knows it,” James said.
Sirius pulled his wand out of his pocket. “We could help you out there.”
Before Snape could reach his wand, Sirius yelled, “Petrificus totalus!” and Snape fell to the floor stiffly.
“Wingardium leviosa!” James said roughly. “There’s sure to be a mop in there,” he added, floating Snape into a nearby broom closet.
“Don’t come out until you’re squeaky clean!” Sirius laughed.
James chuckled. “Don’t forget to get behind your ears!” he said, closing the door.
James and Sirius congratulated each other with a handshake and entered the History of Magic classroom almost fifteen minutes late. They hovered around the doorway and waited until Binns turned his back to the class to write something on the board before they scurried into the back and found two empty seats waiting for them. Peter had skipped a seat between himself and Lily Evans, and James slid into it gladly.
“Where have you guys been?” Remus whispered.
James smirked and Sirius answered, “Pest control. We had a snake in the building.”
“Snape?” Peter asked.
James nodded and Sirius grinned. “We locked him in a broom closet to wash up,” Sirius said. The other three laughed loudly, but Binns ignored them.
James glanced at Lily to see if she heard them. She was rapidly scribbling on a piece of parchment, probably taking notes. As she heard them laughing, her quill paused, and her eyes flickered over to James. Upon seeing him watching her, she looked back to her notes quickly.
James smiled to himself, but he couldn’t take his eyes off her. A few moments later, Lily glanced back again and he was still watching her, so she looked quickly away again. James smirked and decided to give her a break, so he turned away and began doodling on a corner of parchment.
When he looked over at Lily, she was staring at him intently. Instead of looking away this time, her eyes lingered for a moment. James flashed her a grin and ruffled his hair. He watched as she bit her lip to ineffectively hide a smile, blushed, and looked down at her desk. James grinned even wider.
He set out a piece of parchment and began to compose a note.
My Dearest Lilykins,
It has come to my attention that you cannot seem to keep your beautiful eyes off me. Noting such behavior, I have decided to allow you the opportunity to look at me as much as you wish without acquiring a plethora of false rumors (because the rumors will be true, of course). This opportunity will come about if you would join me in the common room after dinner today for a Butterbeer or other such activity.
Your future husband,
James Potter
James folded the note in half and slid it onto Lily’s desk. She snatched it quickly before Binns could see it, as if he would de anything anyway. James watched her read it, and her face flushed in anger. She waved it in front her friend Kylie’s face, and Kylie snatched it and read it quickly. They had a heated, whispered argument, which Kylie seemed to win. James pretended not to notice as Lily hastily wrote back to him, but instead of folding it and sliding it onto his desk she crumpled it into a ball and threw it at him. It bounced off of his head and landed on his desk.
He opened it up in his lap and quickly scanned the page.
My Ultimately Abhorred Arrogant Bubblehead:
To start off “ do NOT call my “Lilykins” ever again. You will never be in such a position as that I will allow you to call my Lilykins, so don’t get attached. I cannot keep my eyes off you bestial face because it is just that. Bestial. My behavior is hardly noteworthy, and I hope you realize that I am deeply angered to hear that you will “allow me the opportunity to look at you … “ I do not want an opportunity to look at you, and even if I did I would NOT wait for your permission. In conclusion, I will not join in the common room for a Butterbeer or any activity, and I never will.
Please refrain from any further note passing or similar communication of any kind.
L.E.
James smiled and flipped the parchment over and quickly scrawled a reply.
My Passion Flower,
How ironic that you choose the word “never” to describe my position in life in regards to you. I have looked into a crystal ball and seen the future time where you will allow me to ball you Lilykins and Lils and other such pet names as I wish.
I do believe that you have other motivations for gazing at me with your gorgeous eyes. I believe that deep down under all your hostility, that you have feelings for me. I hope you will soon come to realize these feelings and learn to properly express them. Until that day I must be content to bask in the attention you direct towards me in your hatred.
The Ultimately Abhorred Arrogant Bubblehead,
James Potter
James tossed the note back onto Lily’s desk. She stiffly held her head high, looking straight forward and pretended not to notice the note. She was successful, for about a minute, until Kylie reached over to grab the note. Lily gently slapped Kylie’s hand away and read the note herself. She took a few minutes to scribble a note down and tossed it back to James. Quills and parchment flew back and forth between the two of them for most of the class.
Potter, you dolt. The only thing you could ever see in a crystal ball is the cloud that seems to be in your brain obstructing your thought process. The only feelings I have for you are deep down in the pit of my stomach “ nausea.
Stop talking to me.
L.E.
I know you don’t mean that, my love. There is nothing obstructing my thought processes except perhaps your beautiful face.
Forever Yours,
James
I do mean it. I mean everything I say. Usually. But when I say that you are a smelly hippogriff chip, I mean it. I do not want you to be mine, now or ever.
This is the last time I’m going to ask. Stop talking to me.
Lily
My Darling Evans,
It would appear as though your subconscious is trying to send me a message beneath your harsh words. My reasons to believe so are as follows: 1. You signed that last note “Lily.” 2. You implied that you may not have meant everything you said to me, meaning that you DO have feelings for me. 3. If you really wanted me to stop talking to you, you would not have answered me (And by the way, we are not actually talking. We are passing notes.)
So you see, slowly, you are coming to realize your true feelings for me. I don’t suppose you might want to hurry them along a bit?
The Smelly Hippogriff Chip,
James
Potter “
I am not sending you a subconscious message. I implied nothing of the sort. I DO want you to stop talking or passing bloody notes to me. I do not want to hurry along any feelings, because they are not there. Do not pass me another note or I will be forced to hex you into next week.
Sincerely,
Lily Evans
James read Lily’s last note and sighed. She was still being stubborn.
* * * * * * * * * *
“I suppose I was being just a bit stubborn,” Lily told him.
James nodded. “I hoped that was all it was.”
Lily smiled apologetically. “Really though, I might have broken down then and there if it hadn’t been for Kylie. Of course, she was only doing what I had asked her to do.”
“How is it Kylie’s fault?”
“She kept me from giving in,” Lily said.
* * * * * * * * * *
Lily and her friends marched into History of Magic laughing loudly.
“Did you see the way he looked at you?” Jess asked Lily.
“I can’t believe you turned down Frank Longbottom!” Kylie screeched.
“He’s so gorgeous! And smart too! Plus, he’s a seventh year!” Emma said.
Lily shrugged. “He’s really not that interesting.”
The other girls gave her an exasperated look as they took their seats in the back of the room.
Lily scanned the room and saw Remus and Peter. She waved at them, but her heart sank a little when she saw James Potter wasn’t there.
Lily shook her head in frustration. She began copying down notes furiously to distract herself. She had to stop thinking about him.
Nearly fifteen minutes later, Lily’s mind had turned from Potter, to History of Magic, to OFF. She stared, slack-jawed at the front of the room, bored out of her mind. At that moment, Potter and Black walked in. Lily’s heart jumped and she sat up straight in her chair. She quickly picked up her quill and began copying notes again, to look busy and pretend she hadn’t noticed them. Of course that was rather difficult, especially when Potter placed himself in the seat next to her, and her heart skipped a beat.
Binns said something to James and Sirius, but Lily ignored it, concentrating hard on looking uninterested. Instead of writing notes down though, she was writing her name over and over again, so she at least looked like she was taking notes.
As Lily was carefully dotting the “i” in her name with a heart, she paused, hearing a ripple of laughter from the Marauders next to her. Lily flicked her eyes over to the seat next to her where James Potter sat. Their connected for a moment before Lily quickly looked back to her “notes.”
Lily took a deep breath to slow her rapidly beating heart while her mind raced. “If our eyes met when I looked at him, that means he had to be looking at me. Why was he looking at me? How long was he looking at me? Why was I the one to look away? Argh! How dare that stupid HInkypunk make me feel this way! Why does he do this to me?!”
Lily went back to writing her name out over and over and she counted out the slow, painful seconds as she kept her eyes off Potter. But of course, as these things happen, Lily was curious as to what James was dong, and if he was looking at her again. So slowly and cautiously her eyes glanced towards James. Their eyes met again, and she jerked her head down, breaking eye contact.
“What is he doing? Why is he staring at me?” Lily asked herself. And not having answered only heightened her curiosity, and so it was that she found herself, mere seconds later, staring at his tanned face. His messy black hair sat ruffled upon his head and the quill in his hand moved back and forth rapidly as he doodled on a piece of parchment. He was gorgeous.
And suddenly, his hazel eyes were looking back into her green ones, capturing her attention. She couldn’t look away, and didn’t want to, but was locked in James’ deep, emotion-filled eyes.
When James realized she wasn’t looking away, he ruffled his hair to give a windswept look and grinned his perfect white smile at her.
Lily nearly smiled back, but bit her lip, and although she tried, she couldn’t successfully hide the smile or the blush that was creeping into her cheeks. She looked down, hoping Potter wouldn’t notice a bit of it. She concentrated deeply on the initials “C.B.” that someone had carved into the desk. She traced them over and over, trying her hardest to keep her eyes still and away from James.
Lily was tracing the curve of the “C” when Potter’s hand crept into her vision at the edge of her desk and slid a folded piece of parchment in front of her. Lily grabbed it eagerly the moment it left his hand and unfolded it. Her face flushed as she read it.
My Dearest Lilykins,
It has come to my attention that you cannot seem to keep your beautiful eyes off me. Noting such behaviour, I have decided to allow you the opportunity to look at me as much as you wish without acquiring a plethora of false rumors (because the rumors will be true, of course). This opportunity will come about if you would join me in the common room after dinner today for a butterbeer or other such activity.
Your future husband,
James Potter
Lily’s heart was pounding and her face was flushed completely red by the time she had finished reading it. There were a great many problems with this note.
Problem 1: Potter was absolutely adorable.
Problem 2: He had called her my dearest.
Problem 3: He said she had beautiful eyes.
Problem 4: She would dearly love to have a date with him in the common room.
Problem 5: She would kill to have him as her future husband.
Problem 6: He couldn’t know any of these things.
Lily waved the note desperately in front in front of Kylie’s face, looking for guidance. It was as if he knew she really secretly loved him and was having fun torturing her. She would give anything to give up her charade and just admit to him how she felt.
Kylie snatched the note and began to read it under her own desk. Lily’s leg bounced up and down furiously as she waited impatiently for Kylie to finish. She clenched and unclenched her fists and tried to keep her breathing even and regular as she tried to calm herself down.
Kylie slid the note back into Lily’s eager hands. “Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Lily! Oh my God!”
“I know! I know! What do I do?” LiIy whispered back, wringing her hands.
“Well,” Kylie swallowed and took a breath to calm herself, “what do you want to do?”
Lily thought about it for a moment. “Well, right now, this very minute, I would like to throw myself upon him and tell him how much I do indeed love him and hug him and kiss his hands, his arms, his cheeks, his lips, his “-‘’
“Stop! Stop! Stop! That’s completely out of the question so stop even thinking about it,” Kylie berated her.
“I can’t do it, Kylie! I really don’t think I can do this anymore. Forget all my bloody schoolwork. He’s all I need! I’m going to write back to him write now and tell him how I really feel. Do you have a bit of parchment?”
“Absolutely not!” Kylie said. “I can’t let you do this to yourself, Lily Evans. Right now you may say ‘forget my schoolwork,’ but when exams come around and you don’t get passing marks, you’ll blame me. It will be my fault. And I will not let you do that, miss!” Kylie whisper-yelled at her.
“It’s my decision!” Lily growled, narrowing her eyes.
“Lily Evans! Get a hold of yourself! Now, really!”
Lily sighed and picked up her quill to write back to James. “I suppose he’ll just never know then.”
“You hate him. You hate him. You hate him,” Lily chanted to herself as she wrote back to him.
My Ultimately Abhorred Arrogant Bubblehead:
To start off “ do NOT call my “Lilykins” ever again. You will never be in such a position as that I will allow you to call my Lilykins, so don’t get attached. I cannot keep my eyes off you bestial face because it is just that. Bestial. My behavior is hardly noteworthy, and I hope you realize that I am deeply angered to hear that you will “allow me the opportunity to look at you … “ I do not want an opportunity to look at you, and even if I did I would NOT wait for your permission. In conclusion, I will not join in the common room for a butterbeer or any activity, and I never will.
Please refrain from any further note passing or similar communication of any kind.
L.E.
Continuing her mantra, Lily crumpled her note into a ball and threw it savagely at his head. It bounced harmlessly off and landed on his desk. As she waited for him to read it and write back, she gnawed on her thumbnail. What if she had made the wrong decision? Maybe she should have just told him the truth.
She tried to not watch out of the corner of her eye as he unfolded the note. He read it and smiled, before writing back. Lily’s heart sped up when she saw him smile at her note.
It seemed to take him ages to write back, and the time passed even slower because she was fighting with herself not to look over the whole time. Finally, James tossed his note back onto Lily’s desk and it skidded to a halt in front of her. She tensed her neck, clenched her hands together and kept her eyes locked firmly on the front of the room. She couldn’t let him know how eager she was to read it.
After about a minute, Kylie rolled her eyes and let out a frustrated little grunt and reached across the aisle to grab the note.
Lily slapped Kylie’s hand down. “I don’t think so, Kylie,” she whispered and picked up the note. She unfolded it with trembling hands.
My Passion Flower,
How ironic that you choose the word “never” to describe my position in life in regard to you. I have looked into a crystal ball and seen the future time where you will allow me to ball you Lilykins and Lils and other such pet names as I wish.
I do believe that you have other motivations for gazing at me with your gorgeous eyes. I believe that deep down under all your hostility, that you have feelings for me. I hope you will soon come to realize these feelings and learn to properly express them. Until that day I must be content to bask in the attention you direct towards me in your hatred.
The Ultimately Abhorred Arrogant Bubblehead,
James Potter
“How dare he!” Lily whispered to Kylie. “How dare he be so arrogant as to tell me what I think of him! And besides that, he is absolutely shite at Divination!” Kylie nodded supportively.
Lily quickly scrawled an angry reply and from there the notes flew back and forth between them for most of the rest of the class, Lily successfully keeping her disdainful exterior, and James continuing his optimism.
Potter, you dolt. The only thing you could ever see in a crystal ball is the cloud that seems to be in your brain obstructing your thought process. The only feelings I have for you are deep down in the pit of my stomach “ nausea.
Stop talking to me.
L.E.
I know you don’t mean that, my love. There is nothing obstructing my thought processes except perhaps your beautiful face.
Forever Yours,
James
I do mean it. I mean everything I say. Usually. But when I say that you are a smelly hippogriff chip, I mean it. I do not want you to be mine, now or ever.
This is the last time I’m going to ask. Stop talking to me.
Lily
My Darling Evans,
It would appear as though your subconscious is trying to send me a message beneath your harsh words. My reasons to believe so are as follows: 1. You signed that last note “Lily.” 2. You implied that you may not have meant everything you said to me, meaning that you DO have feelings for me. 3. If you really wanted me to stop talking to you, you would not have answered me (And by the way, we are not actually talking. We are passing notes.)
So you see, slowly, you are coming to realize your true feelings for me. I don’t suppose you might want to hurry them along a bit?
The Smelly Hippogriff Chip,
James
Potter “
I am not sending you a subconscious message. I implied nothing of the sort. I DO want you to stop talking or passing bloody notes to me. I do not want to hurry along any feelings, because they are not there. Do not pass me another note or I will be forced to hex you into next week.
Sincerely,
Lily Evans
Lily spent the rest of class waiting and hoping for James to pass her another note. She watched him out of the corner of her eye, but he didn't look at her again. She sighed. He probably wasn't even thinking about her, and here she was sitting like a silly heartsick little girl, waiting for something to happen. Lily shook her head fruustratedly. She was so pathetic.
When class was over, Lily got up and hurried out of the room, leaving Potter, and hopefully all thoughts of him, behind.Dare to Dream by SummerRain
“So Kylie made you adhere to your strict ‘I hate James Potter’ code of ethics,” James clarified.
“More or less.” Lily nodded.
“I may have to have a chat with her about that later,” James said.
Lily smiled. “What time do you think it is?”
James shrugged. “I don’t know,” he said yawning, “but I’m not going anywhere until tomorrow.”
“Me either. You would need a forklift to get me anywhere,” Lily said, and playfully pushed James off the couch and stretched out.
“How is that fair?” James asked her.
“Hmm, it’s not,” Lily said sleepily.
James picked her up, cradled her against his chest, and lay down on the couch with her beside him.
Lily wrapped an arm around James’ neck and they fell asleep in each others arms.
* * * * *
When James woke up, he found himself alone on the couch. He glanced around the room quickly and found Lily seated on the floor staring blankly across the room, absently tracing a pattern on the floor.
James ran a hand through his hair and sat up. “Morning,” he said.
Lily glanced up at him and tried to smile.
“You okay, Lils?”
Lily sighed. “Not really, but I’m just thinking about things.”
“A knut for your thoughts,” James said.
“I’m scared,” Lily admitted.
“Of what?”
“Well, this is our last year at Hogwarts. We’re never going to come back. I don’t know what I’m going to do. Bloody hell, I don’t even know were I’m going to live. I obviously can’t stay with Petunia.”
“Don’t be silly. You’ll live with me,” James said.
“What?”
“You’ll come live with me.”
“Live … with you?” Lily repeated, confused.
“Yeah. Like, in a house. Together. You and I. With my parents, at first, until I get my own flat.” James shook his head at her. “Girls worry about the silliest things,” he said to himself.
“Right, because needing somewhere to live is completely bonkers,” Lily said sarcastically.
“No, but you should have realized I wouldn’t just leave you alone once we left Hogwarts,” James replied. “Am I really that bad of a boyfriend?”
“Not at all.” Lily smiled. “You’re right. I should have realized.”
James nodded. “Problem solved. Now the next problem would be my stomach. Let’s go get a bit of breakfast. I’m starved,” he said, helping Lily up off the floor.
“Let’s,” Lily said, and they left the room hand in hand.
* * * * *
They arrived at the Great Hall to find the other Marauderesses and Marauders seated and eating. When they saw James walking in with Lily, they all smiled at her as if she were made of glass. Which was pretty close to how she was feeling inside.
“Hello, Lily,” Remus said.
Peter smiled at her around a mouthful of eggs.
Sirius winked. “How’re you doing?”
“Not bad,” Lily answered.
Jess, Emma, and Kylie beamed at her.
* * * * *
It was almost three weeks later, and the Marauds were all crowded around a table at the Three Broomsticks, loudly celebrating the Gryffindor victory over Ravenclaw that morning. That’s what they said, anyway, but they all knew they had been looking for an excuse not to do a History of Magic essay they should have been doing.
They were just about to toast to the best seeker (Emma), keeper (Sirius), and chaser (James) that Hogwarts had ever seen, when an old classmate came over.
“Congratulations on the victory, guys,” Frank said.
“Hey! Longbottom! How’s the world outside of Hogwarts?” Sirius asked.
Frank shrugged. “It’s hard work.”
“You’ve been out there for what, a year?” Remus asked him. Frank nodded, glancing around the table.
Lily and James however, weren’t paying a bit of attention. Lily was holding one of James’ hands in hers, brushing her smooth fingers over the rough calluses he had from years of playing Quidditch. James was watching her absently as she held his hand sympathetically.
“Lily! It’s great to see you’ve decided to stop being stubborn!” Frank said loudly, grinning at her.
Lily looked up at him. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, come on, Evans. You’ve loved James since fifth year, you just would never admit it to anyone.”
“It was way before fifth year,” Kylie muttered, but Frank didn’t hear her.
“Was it that obvious?” Lily asked worriedly.
Frank laughed. “No. I only figured it out when I asked you out in seventh year. You said no, and I believe your exact words were ‘Sorry but I’m not ready … for any … ‘ and then you stopped and stared down the hallway. Then I noticed James walking down the hallway where you were staring, and then you mumbled something about ‘waiting’ and ‘Potter.’”
The Marauds laughed hysterically and Lily buried her face in James’ chest. He wrapped an arm around her even as he laughed.
“So tell me, how did it happen?”
Lily smiled at James. She realized for a moment, that Frank was acting as if they were married. And then she realized it felt completely natural acting that way.
“Wait, how did what happen?” Lily asked.
“How did what happen?” Frank said, in complete shock that she could even ask that. “You two! This!” he almost yelled excitedly. Lily and James looked at him, puzzled. “I mean really, look at the two of you. I had to practically scream at you for you two to even look at me instead of each other! When I left, Lily, you wouldn’t even admit to yourself that you loved James, and James, well, you were just a mess. What happened to change things between you two?”
Lily looked at James and smiled into his warm eyes. “It was last year, actually.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Lily raced up to her dorm, threw her bag on her bed and turned to the mirror. She ran a hand through her hair and checked her outfit before tearing back down to the common room. She was already supposed to be outside the portrait hole waiting . Her tutoring in the library had run over, and now she was late for a date with her boyfriend, Will, a Ravenclaw in her year. If Will hadn’t been so sweet, she would have given up trying to fit in classes, tutoring, homework, and a boyfriend.
She climbed out of the portrait hole and saw him across the hallway, leaning against the wall, hands stuffed in his pockets, his blonde shaggy hair laying perfectly, and his grey eyes looking said, as usual. It’s just not possibly to have eyes the color of rainclouds and not look sad, unless you were laughing.
He flashed her a small smile and she kissed him on the cheek.
“Hey. What are we doing tonight?” she asked.
He shrugged. “I thought we might take a walk around the lake.” Lily smiled and slipped her hand into Will’s. It didn’t even occur to her that when people said ‘take a walk around the lake’ at Hogwarts, your relationship was about to change. She was so happy with Will, or she thought she was, that she never once thought it could be a bad change.
They strolled around the lake casually, but it was tense and not like usual between them. They walked past a sad willow tree, and Lily felt a tug on her hand. She realized Will had stopped walking, so she turned to him. His eyes looked sad, even more so than usual.
“What’s up?” she asked, beginning to be concerned. She could feel a dropping sensation in the pit of her stomach.
He gave her a half-hearted smile and she pulled her hand out of his grip.
“How are you?” he asked easily.
“I’m fine. How are you?” she answered cautiously, wondering what was going on.
“I don’t know, Lily,” he said, shaking his head.
“What do you mean, ‘you don’t know’?”
“I mean, I don’t know that you’re fine,” Will told her.
“Will, what are you talking about? Look at me, I’m fine!” she said firmly. “I’m fine.”
“I’m looking at you, Lily, and I don’t know how you can say that you’re fine. I know you well enough to see it. You’re exhausted, you’re stressed.”
“Will!” Lily protested, but Will held up a hand.
“Just listen to me, please.”
“Will, you’re scaring me.”
“Lily, please. This is hard enough already. Just listen.”
Lily closed her mouth and nodded nervously.
“Like I said, I can tell you’re exhausted. You stay up all night sometimes so you can finish your work. I can tell you’re stressed trying to tutor people and get your own work done. And you’re still spending time with me almost every night, so I feel like it’s partially my fault. Just listen!” he added, upon seeing her begin to argue. “I don’t think you should be giving up sleep just to spend time with me. It’s not healthy. But, I know you won’t do any thing about it. So it’s up to me. It’s my job as your boyfriend to take care of you, when you can’t take care of yourself. And right now, taking care of you, being a good boyfriend, means backing out. That’s why I have to do this. Lily, I really think we should just be friends.”
Lily laughed. “That’s sweet, Will. But don’t worry about me. I can manage my life just fine.”
Will didn’t laugh, didn’t smile. “I’m not joking, Lily.”
“Oh, come on, Will. Stop.”
“Lily. I’m so serious right now. I’m breaking up with you. But, it’s not because I don’t love you. I want you to understand that.”
Lily shook her head frustratedly as her eyes welled up with tears. “No, no. You are joking. We “ I know we weren’t having any problems.”
She let her head drop so her smooth red hair fell in front of her face as tears spilled down her cheeks. Will folded her into his arms and pulled her head in against his shoulder.
“Damnit, you’re making this hard, Lily. It’s not that we were having problems, I wouldn’t say. I love you but “ “
Lily cut him off, “Then forget this whole bloody stupid thing. I love you; You love me; where is the problem?” It was easy to hear the tears in her voice.
“Lily, come on. You have to see that us being together is hurting you. Not being with you is going to hurt me, but I’m willing to live with that, if it is better for you.”
“Oh, so this is my fault now? That’s what you’re saying, isn’t it?” she accused him.
“That’s not what I’m saying, and you know it,” Will told her. “I’m leaving, Lily. Once you think about this a bit, I’m sure you’ll see it’s the right thing to do.”
“We’re not ever going to just be friends, are we?” Lily whispered after him, after he had let go of her and begun walking away.
Will turned around slowly, his grey eyes miserable and misty. “I don’t think so.”
Lily watched him walk back around the lake and towards the castle, streams of tears running a course down her cheeks. Will had been her boyfriend for almost five months “ since the beginning of term almost. He was always sweet and funny, not to mention rather good-looking. But he had been more than all that. He had kept her mind away from James Potter. While Will was around, she didn’t have to pretend to hate James, because she was happy to be with Will, even if she never really loved him the way she did James. He had been everything James wasn’t. Sweet, considerate, blonde, skinny, short (for a boy, but still taller than Lily). And now he was gone. Because she did have enough time. I don’t know why he was complaining. I spent time with him everyday. That should have been enough, Lily thought angrily. She tried to wipe her eyes free of tears, but was unsuccessful.
Then Lily spotted a figure striding around the lake in her direction. She squinted through her tears to see if Will had changed his mind and was coming back to apologize. To say he was wrong and they should still go out. To keep her distracted from James Potter. But as the figure got closer, she realized it was too tall to be Will. Too tall and too muscular. With dark, unkempt hair. It was James Potter striding towards her, coming closer every second, and she was a mess, with tears still trickling down her face.
Lily leaned her back against the tree and slid down to the ground, hugging her knees. Her life was falling apart. The universe obviously was working against her to destroy her life. As soon as her sole distraction from Potter leaves, walks out of her life, Potter walked in. And sat down next to her. Very close.
“Hey,” he said quietly.
“Hi,” she answered, trying to keep the tears out of her voice.
“So, how was your date?” he asked gently.
Lily burst into tears again. She was so upset, she hardly realized what she was doing before she threw her arms around his neck, wailing, “He, b-b-broke up with m-me!” For a moment, Lily though she had made a terrible mistake in seeking comfort in Potter, but then James wrapped his strong arms around her.
“Hey, come on. It’s not that bad. He was a wanker, anyway,” he soothed, stroking her hair. “He didn’t deserve you. You were doing him a favor, going out with him.”
Lily continued sobbing. “I just don’t see why he broke up with me! Everything was fine!”
“Hey. Shh!” James reached up a hand, where Will had caused her tears, and he wiped them away.
“Come on, it’ll be okay,” Lily felt James say, his voice deeper because her ear was pressed against his chest. “It’s really not that bad.”
“It is too!” she sobbed. “It’s horrid.”
“Lily, watching you cry is like losing a Quidditch match. That’s what’s horrid.”
Lily smiled, and then realized what she was doing, whose arms she was currently wrapped in, whose hand was brushing her tears away. She jerked out of his arms, quickly swiping at her eyes to dry them.
“I’m sorry. You must think I’m a silly cow right about now.”
“The only silly cow I’ve seen lately is Will. And not only is he a silly cow, he must be completely mental if he just broke up with you,” James said to her.
“Well, he obviously thinks I’m the silly cow,” she almost whispered it.
“Lily, there’s something I need to say, and I think it will do you good to hear it,” James said.
“What is it?” Lily asked warily, hoping it wasn’t what she was thinking. She was terribly afraid he would tell her how much he loved her and how he always had. If he told her that now, with her in such a state, there was no question as to what her response would be.
James took a deep breath. “So, a duck walks into a pub.” Lily let out a small laugh from her relief.
“Your face was so serious!” she laughed.
“It’s all in the delivery,” James admitted. “So, this duck walks into a pub, and he asks the bartender, ‘Do you have any grapes?’ The bartender says no, so the duck leaves. The duck comes back the next day and says, ‘Do you have any grapes?’ The bartender says no, and the duck leaves. Next day, the duck walks in again and asks, ‘Do you have any grapes?’ The bartender says, ‘No, and if you come in here and ask that again, I’m going to nail your feet to the floor!’ The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks in, walks up to the bartender and says, ‘Do you have any nails?’ ‘No,’ the bartender says. And the duck asks, ‘Do you have any grapes?’”
“James, that is without doubt, the worst joke I’ve ever heard,” Lily laughed. She looked at James and he smiled apologetically. “But somehow, it was hilarious.” James grinned.
“Come, on, let’s go back up to the castle,” he suggested. He stood up and held a hand out to her, and she took it gratefully. They walked back around the lake, Lily with an arm around his waist, and James with an arm around her shoulders. But they were just friends, for the night; not Lily Evans and James Potter who, as far as the Hogwarts population was concerned, maintained a strict love-hate relationship. They were just friends, though it was incredibly hard for Lily to keep up the façade.
“So what is this really about, Lily?” James asked her.
Lily shivered. It was incredible how he could see right through her. “What do you mean?” she asked innocently.
“I mean, what’s really going on? This is the first time I’ve ever seen you cry.”
“Will just broke up with me! What the bloody hell are you talking about, Potter?”
“Lily, that’s a lie, and you know it.”
“It is not!” she protested. He was so arrogant! How was he just going to pry into her life like that? He had no right!
“Oh, come off it,” he told her. “I know you two were going out and everything, but you were never really all that into it. And if you try to deny that, you know you’re just lying to yourself. Come on, Evans. What was this really about?”
“Do you really want to know?” James nodded. “Are you sure? You really want to know? Fine then.” Something inside Lily had snapped. Somewhere between her vulnerability after Will left and now, she had involuntarily agreed to let herself be in love with James, as she so obviously was. Her marks, her classes, her tutoring, her parents; they could all just bugger off if they didn’t like it. She loved James Potter.
“Fine. I’ll tell you. You’re right! It’s not really about Will breaking up with me, because I didn’t exactly love him. It’s about him leaving me. Leaving me alone when I needed to him as a distraction. A distraction from who I don’t want to love, but for some reason do. I had refused to let myself feel that way about him before, and Will came along, and he pushed those feelings further away. And now he’s gone and they’re all coming back. I was out here, trying t get a handle on my life, to make sense of everything I was feeling. Then you came along.”
“Me?”
Shit! Take it back! Take it back! I didn’t mean it!“Yes, Potter. You. Darling, dearest. You are the apple of my eye. You are the O’s on my exam results. You are my missing half,” she said dramatically, rolling her eyes. “I want you, James Potter. Baby, I need you.”
Lily watched James carefully for a reaction. She tried to keep her face calm, and serious, but on the inside she was practically hyperventilating from what she had just done. And then, James began to laugh. He doubled over in hysterics. Lily joined him nervously, laughing her relief that he hadn’t taken her seriously. But some part of her was hurting, offended that he thought it was a joke, because of course, it was all true.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“And that was it,” Lily told Frank over the loud background chatter in the Three Broomsticks.
“You were serious?!” James asked Lily in disbelief.
“Completely serious,” Lily informed him. “But I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted you to know right then, before I blurted the entire thing out. So when you took it as a joke, I just went with it. And I think it was good for us to be good friends for a while. I really do.”
“Good for us?! What the hell, Lily?”
“Hey, can I ask a question?” Frank said. “Sorry for interrupting, but I have to ask. James, what made you think to go talk to Lily, and how did you know where she was?”
“It was actually completely by chance,” James admitted.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
James Potter, sixth year Gryffindor sat in his dorm with the other Marauders, going completely out of his mind. Not five minutes ago, he had seen Lily Evans, the love of his life, run through the common room (looking absolutely stunning, as usual) on her way to a date with her boyfriend. It drove James crazy to think of her with being with anyone other than himself.
James had only recently discovered the wonderful Muggle invention of the superball, and was currently throwing one as hard as he could against the wall repeatedly.
“James, mate, I think you should try and relax a bit,” Remus said to him.
“How “ can “ I “ relax?” James said angrily, each word punctuated by the sound of the superball slamming against the wall. Then he caught it and quickly turned on Remus. “How can I relax while I know for a fact that she’s out on a date with dome nancy-boy book-worm Ravenclaw, doing God knows what?”
“Honestly, mate, Will’s a decent guy,” Sirius said.
James slammed his fist into his headboard. “I don’t care! And it doesn’t matter. He could be the nicest bloke in the world, and it still wouldn’t matter, because he can’t love her like I do!”
“James,” Remus tried to think of a response.
James hopped up from where he was sitting on his bed and grabbed his broomstick. “I need to clear my head. Stop thinking about her.” He made for the door, glancing at the Marauders’ Map lying on a desk. He slid it into his pocket and called back to his friends as he closed the door, “I’ll be back in a bit.”
James walked through the castle slowly, broom over one shoulder, head hung low watching his feet move one in front of the other. He tried to think of Quidditch, but Lily kept coming to the front of his mind. He picked up his pace, anxious to get out in the fresh air where he didn’t have to think or worry about anything other than flying.
He was almost running by the time he was through the front doors, and flew headlong into someone who was climbing the stairs to the castle.
“Sorry,” James grunted, anxious to be on his way, but paused and glanced back at the boy he had knocked over “ Will, Lily’s boyfriend.
“Didn’t you have a date with Lily tonight?” James asked.
“Yeah, I did.” Will replied, picking himself up off the ground.
“What happened?”
Will shrugged, avoiding James’ eyes, stuffed his hands into his pockets and walked into the castle.
“What a little bugger,” James said to himself. He would kill to be on a date with Lily Evans, and here was the little Ravenclaw nancy ditching her. James pulled the Marauders’ Map out of his pocket, along with his wand.
“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,” he said, tapping the parchment with his wand. Then black lines spread across the surface, and he quickly scanned the area labeled “Hogwarts’ Grounds.” He found her dot across the lake under a willow tree. “Mischief managed,” James whispered, tapping the parchment again and stowing it away in his pocket before setting off hastily around the lake.
As he got closer to the droopy willow tree where he had spotted Lily on the map, he slowed his pace to a casual walk. He reached the limp, outer branches, and spotted her sitting against the tree trunk, hugging her knees, undoubtedly crying. He walked over cautiously and sat down beside her. “Hey.”
“Hi,” she answered. James could hear the tears in her voice.
“So, um, how was your date?” he tried to ask gently, but Lily burst into tears. After thinking a moment, James realized he should have brought it up in a less tactful way.
James froze in shock when Lily tossed her arms around his neck, sobbing, seeking consolation. “He b-b-broke up with m-me!”
The shock wore off and James realized he had been waiting five years for this, but perhaps without the crying. But even so, he realized this was his chance to show Lily that he really cared about her and was sincere. He wrapped his arms around her quickly before she could rethink the situation.
“Hey, come on. It’s not that bad. He was a wanker, anyway,” James smoothed her hair gently. “He didn’t deserve you. You were doing him a favor, going out with him.”
His efforts to calm her were in vain however, because Lily continued sobbing. “I just don’t see why he broke up with me! Everything was fine!”
“Hey. Shh.” James pulled one arm free, leaving the other wrapped about her, and brought his hand up to her cheek. With a thumb, he brushed away the tears on her cheek. The whole bloody mess was stupid Will’s fault. Who the bloody hell in their right minds would break up with Lily Evans anyway?
Lily leaned her head against James’ chest and hugged him tighter. She was obviously not quite herself. But James wasn’t going to complain. “Come on, it’ll be okay,” “It’s really not that bad.”
“It is too!” she said into his chest. “It’s horrid.”
“Lily, watching you cry is like losing a Quidditch match. That’s what’s horrid.”
James felt her lips twitching into a smile as her tears slowed. And suddenly she pulled back out of his arms, rubbing at her eyes. It was nothing less than he had expected. He had been waiting for her to realize what she was doing the entire time.
“I’m sorry. You must think I’m a silly cow right about now,” she said, wiping again at her eyes.
“The only silly cow I’ve seen lately is Will. And not only is he a silly cow, he is completely mental if he just broke up with you!” James couldn’t even imagine going out with Lily, much less ever breaking up with her. What the hell was the git thinking anyway?”
“Well, he obviously thinks I’m the silly cow,” Lily said, almost whispering it so James barely caught it.
“Lily, there’s something I need to say, and I think it will do you good to hear it,” James said earnestly.
“What is it?” Lily’s voice was shaky.
I love you. He wanted to say it so badly. He doesn’t matter anyway. He’s just a stupid git and he’s not good enough for you. But I love you. It would have been so perfect. But he looked into her eyes, full of apprehension. Full of fear that he would say exactly that, and so he didn’t.
He realized he had been quiet for some time as he thought, and Lily was waiting to find out what it was he needed to say to her. Quick! Think! Say something!
“So a duck walks into a pub.” James could have hexed himself right then and there. Of all the things he could have thought of to say, he comes up with some stupid joke about a duck in a pub. What was he thinking?!
However, to is surprise, and great relief, she laughed. Genuine, tear-free laughter. But it was so stupid! He waited for her to speak before he could say anything else dumb.
“How did you possibly keep such a straight face when you said that? I mean, you started out so serious, I was actually scared for a minute! And then you come up with that.”
“It’s all in the delivery,” James admitted to her to her, and then proceeded to tell the rest of the joke about a duck in a pub. Like ducks were allowed in pubs. Really, it was just silly.
“James, that is without doubt the worst joke I’ve ever heard,” Lily said, laughing.
He smiled apologetically, knowing full well that she was right.
“But somehow, it was completely hilarious.”
James grinned at her. At least she appreciated his efforts. “Come on, let’s go back up to the castle,” he suggested. He stood up and held out a hand to help her up, not really expecting her to take it. Again, to his surprise, she did. She even gave him a small, grateful smile, and when she stood up and let go of his hand, she slipped her arm around his waits. He went along with it and put his arm around her shoulders, concentrating very hard on breathing regularly. But he wasn’t going to kid himself. He knew they were just friends. No matter how much he wished differently, that’s all it was.
Oh, and how badly he wanted it to be more. His skin burned where he touched her, he yearned to hold her like this every day. To always know that when they parted, she would back in his arms again soon. But he knew the truth. He knew this night was just one friend seeking comfort in another. And so he contented himself with having her in his arms for this short time. He pushed the rest of his feelings aside and served as just her friend.
“So what is this really about?” he asked her. He knew better than to think some silly boy could make her cry like that.
“What do you mean?” Either she was a bloody good actress, or just dumb.
“What I mean is, what’s really going on? This is the first time ever that I’ve seen you cry,” he said. And it was true. Lily Evans did not cry.
“What’s going on is that Will just broke up with me! What the bloody hell are you talking about, Potter?”
There was no way she was that dumb. She was supposed to be smart! “Lily that’s a lie, and you know it.”
“It is not!” she tried to argue, but her eyes told James differently. They told him that there was much more to it, and he knew there was.
“Oh, come off it. I know you two were going out, but you were never really all that into it,” he voiced his observations. “And if you try to deny that, you’re just lying to yourself. Come on, Evans. What was this really about?”
“Do you really want to know?”
He nodded. Thank Merlin, she finally admitted it!
“Are you sure? You really want to know? Fine then,” she said testily. Was she seriously angry at him for trying to help?
“Fine. I’ll tell you. You’re right! It’s not really about Will breaking up with me, because I didn’t exactly love him. It’s about him leaving me. Leaving me alone when I needed to him as a distraction. A distraction from who I don’t want to love, but for some reason do. I had refused to let myself feel that way about him before, and Will came along, and he pushed those feelings further away. And now he’s gone and they’re all coming back. I was out here, trying t get a handle on my life, to make sense of everything I was feeling. Then you came along.” She stopped and looked at him.
“Me?” he asked timidly. James couldn’t have spoken louder if he wanted to. He had a guess, a hope, a dream, as to where she was going with her little speech, but he hardly dared think about it. Even the disjointed, incomplete thoughts he had about it sent his heart beating so wildly he was sure she would both feel and hear it. It almost consumed him as he waited for her answer.
“Yes, Potter. You. Darling, dearest. You are the apple of my eye. You are the O’s on my exam results. You are my missing half,” she said dramatically, rolling her eyes. “I want you, James Potter. Baby, I need you.”
He didn’t know what to say. His breath caught in his throat. What could he say? He wasn’t sure his heart was still in his chest, or else it had fallen out, because it had gone numb. He didn’t know what to say. So he began to laugh. Could she really be serious? It was ridiculous! Lily Evans loved him! That was the last thing he had expected to hear when he had come outside. His laugh began as a slight chuckle, then crescendoed into a silent, mouth-open, doubled-over laugh. It was just ridiculous! Lily Evans loved him! What would people say?
This, to his horror, she began to laugh as well. Was it all just a joke? Some cruel joke she had played on him? One look at her face, crinkled up adorably in laughter told him the truth. It was all a joke.
He kept laughing. What else could he do? But it wasn’t the happy, true laughter of shock and disbelief but ultimate joy had had had earlier. This was angry laughter, bitter, full of disappointment and resentment.
Angry at himself for actually believing that Lily Evans loved him. There was no reason to believe it, but he had chosen to hope. Silly ass.
Disappoointed that it wasn’t true. That his dreams weren’t about to become real.
She laughed, and he laughed with her, so he could pretend that it didn’t really matter. That he hadn’t believed her. That he hadn’t dared to dream.
Through It All by SummerRain
Through It All
A little while later, everyone said their good-byes to Frank and they began the long walk back to the castle. As they walked, the sun began to droop, falling from its place high in the sky, painting pinks, oranges, and reds across the clear, cloudless horizon. The lack of clouds promised a clear, starry night.
They reached the gates at the edge of the grounds, and Lily looked up at the well-protected castle pensively. She stopped walking to look, and James walked a few steps further before realizing she had stopped and turning around.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, puzzled.
Lily looked at the gates, her brow furrowed. “I was just thinking. About everything that’s out there.” She spun in a circle, sweeping her outstretched arms across the landscape. “Everything we’re learning at Hogwarts is supposed to prepare us for life out there. But what do we really know about it? What’s it really like, being out in the world? We don’t know the half of it, spending seven months out of every year boarded up here in this protected atmosphere where nothing can touch us. That’s not what real life is like.”
“No one said life was going to be easy after Hogwarts. No one ever told us it was going to be the same. They just said they’d do their best to try and get us ready for it,” James said.
“It’s not going to be easy. We’re not ready for it. How much good is a cheering charm going to do us in the real world? I mean, read the papers! There’s a war going on out there. People are disappearing and dying left and right! Wizards and Muggles alike. The teachers try to keep it hushed up so we won’t worry, but it’s not doing us any good. People will still get hurt. Did you notice that Eileen Murphy hasn’t been in Herbology with us lately? Her parents died last week.” Lily fell silent, lost in thought, her eyes roaming across the walled-in grounds of Hogwarts where they had spent most of their time over the last seven years.
James looked at her, knowing that somewhere behind those bright green eyes, hidden in her thoughts, she was remembering the day her parents had died. “But there’s nothing we can do about it. Where else can we go to learn this stuff? There’s nowhere better. I think we just have to keep our heads down, learn as much as we can while we’re here, and do as best we can when we get out there. But mostly, we have to hold on to the ones we love, and hope that somehow, through it all, we’ve learned what’s truly important in life.”
Lily looked around at him quickly, cocking an eyebrow. All previous thoughts had vanished from her mind. “Keep our heads down? Learn as much as we can? Who are you, and what have you done with James Potter?” she teased.
James grinned and shrugged. “Thought I’d take a stab at being serious for once.”
Lily smiled and they resumed walking towards the castle. “Well, you did get a few things right.” A few steps later, Lily stopped walking again, and James stopped beside her.
“For the record,” Lily placed a hand on James’ cheek. “Serious-James is quite enticing.” She drew his head down and their lips met for a brief moment. “But don’t let Prongs get too far away. I think I might miss him.”
James winked. “He’s not going anywhere anytime soon.”
“Good to hear,” Lily said, kissing him again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She was dreaming. She knew she was dreaming. For one thing “ all the colors were more vibrant than they could ever truly be: the sky was too blue, the clouds too white, the grass too green, and the brightly painted yellow shutters on her house were a yellow so perfect it couldn’t be real. And she knew was dreaming because she relived this terrifying day nearly every night of her life.
A slight breeze blew the perfect clouds across the bright sky, and she looked at her house. The white siding and cheery lemon-colored shutters where just as she remembered. They smiled happily at her, while at the same time, intensifying the dark, gaping holes that were windows, and the largest where the door had been blasted off its hinges.
She relived this day almost every night of her life. Relived the pain of returning to her silent house each night. Each night she took a few shaky, stiff steps towards the door and peered into the darkness. And each night her stomach wrenched into a knot, her heart dropped, and her head began to spin. The door lay in the garden, blasted into several pieces. Her parents were dead. The Dark Mark floated above her house.
She stepped forward into the open doorway. Everything was dark, but still she walked inside, like every other night, and paused to let her eyes adjust to the dark. This was where her dream separated from reality. She had never gone inside her house. Never seen her parents bodies lying limply on the floor, eyes open in shock, mouth wide in a silent scream.
She moved jerkily into the room away from the doorframe, knowing what image awaited her. And there it was. Only this time “ this time there were three figures sprawled across the floor. Her breath caught in her throat. Without looking, she knew who the third body belonged to. She knelt down beside the third figure on the floor.
This was new. He had never been here before, in her house, dead or alive, dream, or reality. She had seen and accepted her parents, but seeing him lying on the floor, his muscular body limp, his hazel eyes wide and blank, she began to cry. She knelt beside James’ body in her dark, silent, morbid house and cried.
She didn’t know how long she knelt on the floor, crying, inside her nightmare, but the next thing she knew, she was lying in bed, her pillow damp with tears.
Lily sat up and wiped at her eyes. She shivered, remembering her new nightmare. She hoped this one would not come every night.
Lily glanced at the clock before sliding out of bed. 3:27 am. She paused, hearing her friends snoring lightly, still asleep, like any sane person. She swiped at her eyes again before scurrying across the cold floor on tip-toe. She slipped out the door and down the stairs, creeping quietly across the common room to the stairs on the other side. She climbed the stairs without a sound. Exactly twenty-seven stairs up, her hand, which had been running along the wall, found the doorknob she was looking for. Ever so slowly, she inched the door open and slid through the curtains around the first bed.
Beneath a sheet, James was sprawled across the bed, one arm flung across a pillow, the other hanging off the edge. Lily slid in next to him and nestled against his side, kissing him lightly on the cheek. She reached up and ran her fingers through his dark hair.
“James?” she breathed softly.
His eyelids fluttered open and he took a deep breath. “Lils?” he whispered.
“Hi,” she said.
“What’s up?” James asked.
“I missed you,” she said, twirling a lock of his hair between her fingers.
“I missed you too, Lils, but it’s, Merlin! It’s 3:30 in the morning!”
“I know but,” Lily paused. She had been ready to tell him about her dream, her nightmare, but decided against it. It was her dream, and it was up to her to deal with it, if she ever wanted to be free of it. “I just missed you,” she told James.
James turned and kissed her forehead. “Are you okay?”
Lily smiled and wondered for probably the hundredth time how it was that he always seemed to be able to read her mind. “I’m great,” she told him. A sudden image flashed in the front of her mind of James lying on the floor, dead, and tears welled up in her eyes again. She tried to blink them away before James noticed.
James took Lily’s hand and squeezed it gently. “Are you sure?”
Lily nodded and bit her lip, closing her eyes shut tightly to try and keep the tears in.
“Please, Lily. What’s wrong? You can tell me anything. You know that,” James rubbed his thumb back and forth over the back of Lily’s hand.
Lily sighed. “Really. It’s not important. It’s quite dumb, actually. Don’t worry about it.”
James placed a hand on Lily’s cheek. “Lily Evans. You wake me up in the middle of the night to tell me you miss me, and expect me to just say ‘Oh, I missed you, too, goodnight now.’? I know you better than that.” He kissed her lightly. “Please, tell me.”
Lily placed her hand on top of James’. She closed her eyes so she wouldn’t have to look at him. “You were dead,” she whispered.
“What?”
“You were dead. I dreamed about the day my parents died. It was so real. The Dark Mark was there. I walked in my house and found my parents. And you. You were dead. They killed you.”
James pulled her into a tight embrace. “Shh. It’s okay. It was just a dream, Lily. Just a dream.”
“But it was so real!” Lily shivered. “It was so real. It was like I was living that day all over again, but a hundred times worse. James, I walked in my house and I really thought you were dead. I was all alone. I don’t want that to ever happen!”
“Sh, Lily, it won’t! It won’t happen. I promise.” James hugged her even tighter.
“But it could happen, James. It could. They killed my parents. People are dying every day! They could “ You could “ It could happen. I don’t want to lose you.”
James looked into her eyes and took both of her hands in his. “Lily, we’re in this together. No matter what happens. And I will never, ever leave you.”
Lily smiled and kissed him softly on the lips. “I love you.”
“Prongs!” Sirius’ sleepy voice drifted from across the room. “You gettin’ some action? Well, try to keep it down! Some of us are actually trying to sleep!”
James reached under his pillow and pulled out his wand. Levicorpus! he thought, flicking his wand towards Sirius’ bed.
“Ahh! Ahhhh! Bloody hell!” Sirius shouted. “Accio wand!”
Next thing he knew, James was being lifted into the air, feet first. Lily looked up at him from the bed and giggled. He was wearing nothing but a pair of dark blue boxers with little red hearts all over them.
“Accio wand!” James said. “Truce?” he called to Sirius.
“If you promise to go about it quietly tonight!” Sirius called back.
“Fine! Yes! We’ll be quiet.” James yelled. Liberacorpus! he thought, and heard the mattress groan as Sirius came crashing down onto it. A moment later, James was falling out of the air, and landed on the bed, on top of Lily.
“Sorry,” he apologized, starting to roll off her.
“Don’t be,” she said, grinning wickedly and catching his head in both her hands.
James smiled wolfishly down at her and placed his mouth over hers, softly at first, then deeper, and longer, parting her lips with his tongue. Lily entangled her hands in his dark, messy hair and kissed him back. She wrapped an arm around his neck as he slowly worked his way down her jaw line and kissed the side of her neck.
Suddenly, the curtains were thrown back, and with a forceful shout of “Aguamenti!” a harsh stream of cold water was being sent at them.
James reached for his wand again. “Rictusempra!” he pointed his wand at Sirius, who broke out into uncontrollable laughter and the stream of water stopped.
“Truce! What happened to truce?” James said loudly.
Sirius shook his head helplessly, still suffering from an uncontainable fit of giggles.
“Oh, sorry,” James said, flicking his wand at Sirius again and lifting the tickling curse. “What happened to truce?”
Sirius gasped, now that he could finally get a breath, then he grinned at them. “I just wanted to make sure you two weren’t starting anything too scandalous. Not with me in the room, anyway. I mean, really, have some decency.”
“Decency?! If you don’t have the decency to leave us the bloody hell alone I’ll float you on up to the girls’ dormitories in nothing but you’re boxers!” James threatened.
“You wouldn’t!” Sirius said, his eyes wide and frightened.
“I don’t know if he would, but I wouldn’t stop to think twice about it,” Lily said, raising an eyebrow challengingly.
Sirius held up his hands in surrender. “Leaving! I’m leaving! G’night!” Then he winked. “A very good night.”
Lily laughed, reached up and slid the curtain around James’ bed. Sirius wolf whistled from the behind the curtain and Lily and James both chuckled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning, James and Lily arrived at breakfast later than everyone else. They walked in together and sat down with the other Marauds who were already seated and halfway through their meal.
“Lily Evans! So that’s where you went last night!” Kylie shouted.
“Mm, scandalous,” Jess said suggestively, lifting her eyebrows.
“I thought so too,” Sirius said, winking at Lily and James.
Lily rolled her eyes and scowled at Jess. “Jess, where is your other hand right now?” Jess quickly slid her hand away from Sirius’ leg and out from under the table, blushing. “That’s what I thought,” Lily said smirking.
Lily looked across the table at Remus. He looked pale and tired. “Are you okay?” she asked. Remus glanced up at her and nodded.
James leaned closer and put his lips against Lily’s ear. “The full moon is tomorrow night.”
“Oh,” Lily gasped. “I suppose Prongs and Padfoot and Wormtail are all going out then?”
James nodded. “Of course.” Lily absently bit her lip, thinking.
As the girls traversed the crowded corridors and stairwells towards the dungeons, they fell behind the Marauders. They walked into the classroom and saw the boys already paired up across the room. Kylie and Lily took a table far away from the boys, and Jess and Emma took the table next to them.
As Professor Slughorn began to explain the day’s lesson, Lily took a glance at the board where instructions to the potion they were supposed to be making were listed.
“Good, it’s an easy one,” Lily muttered.
Kylie looked at her, eyebrows raised incredulously. “I suppose you’ll be making it then for me as well, since you’re not going to let me pay attention to Slughorn right now.”
Lily laughed. “Yes, fine. I’ll do yours as well.”
Kylie nodded. “Good. I don’t think I’d get it right even if I was paying attention now.”
Lily laughed again, but then immediately sobered up. “You know what tomorrow night is, I suppose?” she asked Kylie.
Kylie looked at her sharply. “Of course I do. Have you been keeping track?”
Lily shook her head. “James told me. I think we should go.”
“What?”
“Haven’t you ever thought about going along? They all transform and go along. We can too, so why not?” Lily reasoned.
“They won’t let us go!” Kylie pointed out.
“They don’t have to let us. We’ll follow them, and by the time they realize we’re there, it’ll be too late for us to go back,” Lily said.
“I don’t know,” Kylie said hesitantly. “How is it that you plan on following them? Doesn’t James have an Invisibility cloak? I’m sure they’ll use it to sneak out of the castle.”
“I haven’t figured that out yet. But we have the rest of today and tomorrow to think about it,” Lily admitted.
“Are you sure it’s a good idea? We could get hurt,” Kylie said nervously.
“Don’t be such a baby,” Lily told her friend. “Have James or Sirius or Peter ever been hurt? And I’m sure they’ll be keeping an eye on us.”
“It still sounds dangerous to me.”
Lily rolled her eyes and turned to Jess and Emma’s table. “Psst! Guys!”
Jess and Emma turned to look at her.
“Miss Evans, I know this potion may be below your skill level, but could you at least not distract my other students?” Slughorn said from the front of the room where he stood, reading off the board the list of ingredients and directions.
Lily rolled her eyes and set about brewing the potion for her and Kylie, waiting for Slughorn to finish talking so she could speak with Emma and Jess.
By the time Slughorn stopped explaining and told everyone to get started working, Lily and Kylie’s potion was already nearly done, and needed to simply sit and simmer for the rest of class with occasional stirring.
“What’s up, Lily?” Emma asked once Slughorn was on the other side of the room.
“Well, do you guys know what tomorrow night is?” Lily asked quietly.
Jess and Emma looked at each other for a moment. “Uh, Wednesday night?” Jess guessed.
Lily rolled her eyes. “It’s the full moon.” Their eyes widened.
“What does that mean for us? I mean, other than Moony’s deal,” Jess wondered.
“Well, I think we should go along,” Lily whispered.
Emma dropped the vial of armadillo bile she had been measuring and it broke and spilled all over the table. “What do you mean we should ‘go along’?”
“Well, Prongs, Padfoot, and Wormtail do it every time. We can do the same thing as them, so I say we should go along.”
“We don’t even know how they get out!” Jess protested.
“We’ll figure it out,” Lily said, shrugging.
“I don’t think they’ll be very happy with this plan,” Emma put in.
“Bugger with them! We have every right to go along and support Remus if we want to!” Lily said. Why were her friends such worry-warts?
“We won’t get any sleep,” Kylie told them.
“Merlin! Come on, guys. Where’s your sense of adventure? Are you all Marauderesses or not?” Lily asked.
“Let’s do it,” Jess said, nodding.
Emma and Kylie looked at each other doubtfully.
“I don’t know,” Kylie bit her lip.
“Kylie! He’s your bloody boyfriend!” Jess said exasperatedly.
“But, it’s not safe,” she whispered feebly.
“Are you kidding me right now?” Lily whisper yelled at her.
“All right, yes, fine, we’ll go,” she consented.
“Emma?” Lily asked forcefully.
“Well, I don’t see as I have much choice in the matter, now do I?” Emma asked.
Lily grinned. “Not much at all.”
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.