Dear Tom,

I'm so sorry to tell you this, but I am dying. When the baby is born, I know I will die. I could, perhaps, save myself yet with the strong magic I discovered after leaving home, but I will not raise my wand to save myself. Even if my powers were not so drained without you, I would not. For if living means being without you, then I prefer death, where one day you will join me. Yet I fear I'll never see you again.

But more I fear that you have forgotten me. Will you even notice when I am gone for good? Will you care? Perhaps one day, one blessed day, you will awake from a sweet dream and look around to see an empty bed, where I should have been. Maybe then you will know that I am gone. And just maybe you will ask yourself where I am, wonder if I am all right. Then you will know I'm missing from the world.

Even if such a day does come, until then, yes, even then, you will not cry. You will not be sad that I am gone. On the contrary, you will be relieved. You will hurry to your wife, whoever she might be then, and tell her of your disturbing thoughts. Perhaps she will tell you to forget me, or maybe she will react with jealousy at the thought of you thinking of another woman. If she knew me she would not worry.

Maybe you will have told her the true story though I doubt she would have believed you. But I too told you the truth after all. And that is why I am alone. I understand that you felt I had hurt you, but I never meant to. I loved you. And yet you forgot all about me when you left. But do not feel bad, love. Do not feel that I blame you too much, Tom. My father and brother will miss me just as little. I am nothing in the great scheme of things. No one will miss me, no one will care. And still I hope. Won't you notice? Won't you miss me?

Tom, you know I love you, and I know you love me not. I know that, even if you were to ever receive this letter, even if you could, you would not save me. You would have, if I had let you continue to take that potion, but I felt so terrible. I would've died for you. I would have died to feel your love without me forcing you to love me. And yet now I must die knowing you never cared for me at all. So I sit alone now, on the street. I've sold the locket for my only reminder of you: our baby. I shall name him Tom, like his father. Perhaps he will miss me. Perhaps. But I admit I would much prefer if you missed me now. No one does. No one cares, no one loves me, not a single person is missing me right now, are they?

Oh Tom, I am so sorry. Sorry that I won't be there for the baby, sorry that you won't be there for me. Sorry that I will die knowing you do not love me. Knowing I won't be there to comfort you ever again, for I know that your life never was peaceful. I know of your darkest secrets, and I hate the thought of you hurting yourself like that without me there to stop you. I am sorry for it all. Sorry I ever fell in love with you. Sorry about the tears on this letter, for I am crying, Tom, crying without you to comfort me. I see that people stare at me, a pregnant, worn young woman sitting on the street, weeping. Tom, don't you miss me just a little? I had hoped you had learned to love me, but now I know I was wrong. God, Tom. Please think of me! Please miss me! There is no one else to. And yet I know these thoughts are in vain. You will not miss me anymore than the rest of the world will.

Tom, I miss you. Can't you miss me? I'd have died for you! I'd have done anything to make you stay with me! Please, Tom. Knowing that you are out there, not loving me, hurts so very much. Knowing you would not save me if you could tears at me from the inside.

Oh, Tom, not even dying hurts that much now. If you don't care, then I don't care. And I will die soon. I am sick and the baby is almost here. I know I should try to stay alive for his sake, but I can't. Not without you. You are making me sick. I can't even sleep for dreams of you, of the love we shared before. I awake sweating, screaming for what I have lost, and I wonder for a second why you are not by my side, before I remember. I miss you so much. If only you missed me like this.

Tom! Tom, Tom, Tom. It is the only word I can say sometimes. The only word I remember. TOM! I'd have died for you! I'd have DIED! And still you won't love me. Tom, I can't bear it. Can't bear being so alone. Please, Tom, please. If you could not love me when I was with you, at least miss me when I’m gone!

Merope