Lucius Malfoy felt a familiar burning in his arm. He had just begun to doze off, but he was instantly wide awake. That burning meant only one thing, his master needed him. He rose quietly, so he wouldn’t wake Narcissa. Then he threw his robe on, and Apparated to the Dark Lord’s side.

He was not alone in his master’s presence. He saw a man crumpled at the Dark Lord’s feet. He identified him as Evan Rosier. Lucius ignored him, and fell to his knees, waiting to see what his master wanted from him.

“You may go, Evan,� the cold voice snarled. “I do hope you will take my warning to heart.�

“Yes, my Lord,� Rosier squeaked, as he crawled from the room.

“Lucius,� he hissed in greeting, “you may rise.�

“Thank you, my Lord,� he replied, as he climbed to his feet.

“You have been among my followers for some time now,� the hissing voice continued. “However, you are yet to have participated in an extermination. This is what I need from you tonight. Are you ready?�

“Yes, my Lord.�

He didn’t know if the words were true, but he had no choice but to say them. Any other response would result in his immediate death. He was not ready to die. The question was, could he kill to stay alive. He would soon find out.

“Do you remember Lily Evans?� his master asked.

The name was not familiar.

“No, my Lord.�

“What about James Potter?�

That name was very familiar. He was the little brat who turned Sirius against his family. Narcissa had lost her cousin to him. He could remember Potter from school, as well. He was only in his first year when Lucius graduated, but he had still managed to leave an impression. He strutted around the school like he owned it. Like he had some special talent or something.

“I remember Potter, my Lord.�

“He married Evans. And tonight, they foiled Rosier’s attempt to gain crucial information. This is the second time those Muggle-lovers have interfered in my plans. This cannot continue to go unpunished, do you agree, Lucius?�

“Yes, my Lord,� he said. It was always in a Death Eater’s best interest to agree with whatever the Dark Lord said. If he said the sky was pink, it would be best to respond with, “Yes, my Lord.�

“Ordinarily, I would have the Potters killed. However, they seem to possess great power, as they have been able to disrupt my plans twice. I would hate to see that kind of ability wasted. Instead, I wish to recruit them. I think they just need a little friendly persuasion.�

“Yes, my Lord,� Lucius replied, when his master looked to him for comment.

“Evans is a Mudblood. She is the weaker link. I want to send her a message. A very strong message. Something that will show her I am serious. I want you to burn her parent’s home to the ground, with them inside.�

This time Lucius did not respond right away. He was shocked, and it was not easy to shock a Malfoy. From his master’s point of view, it was the perfect plan. He could kill two Muggles, while sending a message to two wizards. It worked out well for him. Less well, for Lucius. He wasn’t ready for a kill; he knew it. But there was nothing he could do. So he did what he always did, he agreed.

“Of course, my Lord.�

“I want this done tonight, Lucius. There have been enough mistakes. I do not feel that I need to tell you, failure will be punished. You know that. I know you will give this mission the best of your skills.�

“Yes, my Lord.� Lucius was beginning to feel as though those were the only words he would speak for the rest of his life.

“You will set the house ablaze, and then set the Dark Mark in the air. When that is complete you are to find Lily Potter. Do not approach her until she is alone. Do not give away your identity. You are to wear your mask.� He produced a small envelope and handed it to Lucius. “You are to give her this. Tell her that the choice is hers.�

“I will, my Lord.�

The Dark Lord nodded, “Go my servant, and do well.�

Lucius was being dismissed. He backed out of the room. He remembered Rosier, and knew that he was lucky he could still walk. Of course, if he failed this task, his next meeting was likely to end on a much more unpleasant note.

Once he was away from his master and outside, Lucius took a deep breath. The cool night air felt good in his lungs. He walked away from the building where he had just meant his master. He knew that he should Apparate to the Evans’, but he couldn’t do it. He wasn’t ready. He didn’t have to do it that second. He was told to do it that night. There were still many hours left in the night.

He walked until he found a small lake. He had no idea where he was, and he didn’t care. He sat down by the lake. The moonlight reflected in the water. It gave him an eerie sensation. It was a beautiful night. It didn’t seem like the type of night one would choose to become a killer.

Of course, he was not choosing. He had made one choice in his entire life. Everything had been decided for him since birth. He had not even been able to choose his own bride. And he had certainly not chosen to be a Death Eater. His father chose for him, and he had let it happen. That was his choice. He could have fought, but he didn’t. Now he would become a killer, simply to stay alive.

Lucius finally forced himself to Apparate to the Evans’ home. He had no idea what time it was. He didn’t know much of anything, except that he didn’t want to do this. He wanted to go home, and get into bed with his wife. He wanted to pretend that the Dark Lord hadn’t summoned him. But of course, to do that, would result in his immediate death.

He arrived in front of the Evans’ home, with a loud pop. After glancing around, he confirmed that no one had seen him.

He looked up at the two-story home. It looked like most of the other houses in the area, large, with white paint, and Victorian style windows. It was simplistic enough. Far too simplistic for someone with the tastes of a Malfoy. However, Lucius did find himself somewhat attracted to the home. It seemed to have a loving aura around it. He was being foolish, and he knew it.

It was a warm night, and the Evans’s had left their bedroom window opened. He could hear their muffled voices. He wished they would shut up. This would be easier if he could pretend there was no one in the house. Then it would just be a fire. He wouldn’t go to hell for a little property damage, but murder was a different story.

“I have no choice,� he said, aloud. “It’s their lives or mine, and I am not done with mine yet.�

A small light flickered in the bedroom. He wondered what it was. It had an odd glow to it that he had not seen before. Probably some Muggle contraption. The things they came up with were so bizarre.

He knew this was not the time to contemplate the inner workings of the Muggle mind. He had a job to do, for a less than patient master. It was time to stop stalling. He had no choice. It had to be done.

He raised his wand in the air, and pointed it towards the house. He said the spell, and the house burst into flames.

He stood there, staring blankly, as flames engulfed the house. It didn’t take long. The spell was powerful, and fast acting. There was no hope for Evans’ escape. They would die in that house, just as the Dark Lord had wanted it. And Lucius was responsible for it. He had done it.

He watched the fire burn. The flames reflected madly in his eyes. If anyone were to see him, they would be certain that he had gone mad. For a moment, he was sure that he had. He thought the burning building was only in his mind, and he would be forced to watch it burn for the rest of his life, as penance for contemplating murder.

He was brought out of his dark thoughts by a scream, a wild scream of pure terror. It was coming from within the burning building. The burning building that existed in reality, regardless of what he wanted to believe. Mrs. Evans had realized what had happened. It was too late. The whole house was in flames. There was no escape.

Her screams persisted, but they were no longer screams of terror; they were screams of pain. She was burning to death, and Lucius was watching and listening as it happened. He felt ill. He ran towards the woods, surrounding the home, and vomited in the bushes.

When he focused on the house again, the screams had stopped. He knew without a doubt that Evans’ were dead. He gathered all of his strength, and cast the Dark Mark into the air.

He was preparing to Apparate when he heard a loud sound. He stopped to see what it was. Within seconds the entire yard was filled with large red machines. They were blaring and going on. He watched Muggle men, jump from these machines and point hoses at the house. Water shot from the hoses. He concluded that they were trying to put the fire out. It would be no use. A magical fire could not be defeated by mere water. It would burn out when it was ready, and not before.

Again, he prepared to leave, but, once again, he was interrupted. This time he was stopped by the sound of another scream. It was different from the screams of the Evans woman. This was a scream of anguish and despair.

He turned to locate the source of the crying. He saw a petite woman. She was being held back by a man, who greatly resembled the giant squid. He had never seen these people before, but obviously they had some connection to the people he had just murdered. Guilt rose inside of him, as he saw, firsthand, the damage he had inflicted.

He couldn’t bear to watch. He Apparated to the Potter’s home. There he would wait, until he had an opportunity to deliver the Dark Lord’s message to the young Potter woman. There he would try to regain his composure, and forget what he had just done. Otherwise, he could never look at himself in the mirror again.

He entered the woods behind the Potter’s house, and sat on the wet ground. He didn’t care about getting wet. All he cared about was relaying the message to Lily Potter, and getting the hell out of there. He had never been so anxious to return to his mansion in all his life.

He wondered how long he would be stuck there. It was the middle of the night. Lily was probably in bed, with her husband. How was he supposed to get her alone? He could be sitting there until morning. Why couldn’t the Dark Lord just send her an owl? What was so great about personalized Death Eater delivery?

These questions were pointless, as it was obvious that they would never be answered. The Dark Lord was the only one who could supply an answer, and anyone who questioned him ended up dead. So Lucius would keep his questions to himself. This would be no hardship for him, as he had been taught since birth to do just that.

After about an hour of sitting, he thought he was about to get a break. A pretty red-haired woman came out of the house. He knew it had to be Lily Potter. There would be no other woman living there. He rose to go speak with her, but before he could leave his hiding spot she had Apparated.

He cursed under his breath. If he had just been a little bit faster, he could be going home. But instead, he was stuck in the disgusting wet forest. Why did she have to Apparate so quickly? He just wanted to get this over with.

He stared at the house, waiting for her to return. At least this time, the house wasn’t on fire. The Potter’s were not going to be killed. That night, anyway.

Lucius’ mind drifted back to the other home he had stared at that night. He remembered the flames, and the screams. His stomach heaved, again. There was no way for him to comprehend what he had done. He had just killed two people. And now that he had proven he could do it, the Dark Lord would be expecting it from him more often. He didn’t even know how he was going to keep himself alive.

The hours he spent in those woods were the most emotionally devastating hours of his life. He continued to replay the evening’s events in his mind. Each time he felt more repulsed by what he had done, and what his future would hold because he had done it. He was no longer a mere observer of the Dark Lord’s cruelty—he was a participant.

He was pulled from his morbid thoughts by James Potter leaving his home. His looks hadn’t changed much since he was eleven years old, and neither had his strut. He quickly Apparated away. Everyone was leaving, except for him. It just wasn’t fair.

About five minutes later, James reappeared with Lily. She looked horrible. She couldn’t even stand under her own power, and Lucius could hear her sobs. She must have found out about her parents. He was witnessing more of the fallback from his earlier actions. He wished he could take it all back. Surely, death would be more merciful than this.

James led his wife into their home, and once again, Lucius was left alone. He doubted James would be letting Lily out his sight again that night. He might as well get comfortable. If he planned to avoid the Dark Lord’s wrath, he could not leave until the message was delivered.

He leaned against a tree, and looked into the sky. The stars were beautiful that night. They littered the sky, and sparkled brightly. It made him feel like the universe was trying to comfort him. He closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep.

It was much later, when he was awoken by the sound of a closing door. He opened his eyes, and discovered that it was nearly dawn. Looking towards the house, he saw Lily Potter, alone. She was wandering into the back yard.

He quickly grabbed his mask, and jumped to his feet. His muscles were sore from sleeping in such an awkward position, but he ignored their protests. He was not going to miss his opportunity again. Once he gave Lily her message, he could tell his master that the mission was a success, and then he could go home.

He stepped out of the trees, and walked towards her. To his surprise, she didn’t look scared.

“You can take that mask off, Lucius Malfoy,� she told him. “I would recognize that strut anywhere.�

Taken aback, he did as she suggested. He removed the mask.

“Your husband was the one who liked to strut around Hogwarts.�

“He was nothing like you.�

“That is because I actually have class.�

“I never thought of murderers as particularly classy,� she snapped. “It was you who killed my parents, wasn’t it?�

She had shocked him again. This woman had quite a flair for surprises. He didn’t know what to say to her. He didn’t want to admit to what he had done. He knew that his master would not want him to do that.

“You don’t have to say anything,� she told him. “Your silence says it all. Why are you here, now? Are you supposed to kill me too?�

“No,� he told her. “I am supposed to give you this,� he handed her the envelope, “and tell you that the choice is yours.�

She grabbed the letter out of his hand. “There you have done your task. Now, you can return to your master, and tell him it is complete.�

He didn’t move.

“Go,� she snarled at him.

He turned to leave, but then he stopped again. He looked back at Lily, and said, “I’m sorry.�

“A lot of good that does,� she told him, and then she walked back towards her house. Leaving Lucius alone to contemplate the consequences of his actions.

Lucius stared at Lily’s back door for a long time, after she left him. He was unable to fully comprehend what had gone on between them. How had she even known who he was? He certainly hadn’t remembered her. And if she knew what he did to her parents, why didn’t she attack him? She had a chance to make him pay. She didn’t take it. She simply told him to go away. He didn’t understand.

He also didn’t understand why he was standing in her yard, trying to understand. The task was over. He could finally leave. After reporting to his master, he could go home, and start trying to pretend that the whole thing had been nothing more than a twisted nightmare.

He forced himself to look away from Lily’s home, and Apparated to his master’s side.

He found himself in a small room, which was vacant of any furniture or decorations. He had no idea where he was, and he didn’t really care. As soon as his master had been informed of the evening’s events he could leave.

His master was staring out the room’s single window. He turned to regard Lucius, as he appeared in the room. Lucius fell to his knees.

“Is it done?� his master demanded.

“It is, my Lord. The Evans’ are dead, and the message has been delivered.�

“You sound tired, my friend. Tell me, how did your first kill make you feel?�

Lucius hesitated. He knew that this was not a wise thing to do when talking to the Dark Lord, but yet it could not be avoided. He did not have an immediate response for such a question. At least, not one that would not result in him receiving the torture curse.

Finally, he did what he always did. He said what was expected of him.

“It felt good, my Lord.�

“Crucio,� his master hissed.

Pain surged through every part of his body. He could feel tears welling behind his eyes, but he would not allow them to fall. If a man did not have his pride, he had nothing. Lucius Malfoy would not cry. A Malfoy never cries.

Eventually, the pain ceased. It felt like it had been hours, but in reality it had probably been only a few seconds. The Dark Lord wouldn’t want to drive one his servants into insanity. What use would he be to him then?

“You should not lie to me, Lucius,� he told him, in a very cold voice. “I thought you would know better than that by now.�

“I am sorry, my Lord.�

“Many of my servants have had difficulty with their first kill,� he continued. “This is nothing to be ashamed of. However, lying to me is not the same thing.�

“It will not happen again, my Lord.�

“See that it doesn’t. You may leave, now. I suggest that you go home, and rest. It is obvious that you have had a hard night.�

“Thank you, my Lord,� he said, before Apparating back to his mansion.

It was still early morning when he arrived in his study. He assumed that Narcissa was still asleep. He was glad. He wasn’t ready to talk to her just then. He wasn’t ready for anything just then.

He collapsed in his leather chair. He could still see Lily’s accusing eyes staring at him. Why hadn’t she attacked him? She had every opportunity, and every reason. Perhaps she realized that reliving that night in his memories would be punishment enough.

He could still hear the screams of her mother, in his head. He covered his ears, but it did nothing to block out the woman’s pitiful cries. Cries that had been caused by him. How could he have done it?

He couldn’t get the screaming out of his head. He flipped his desk over, and let out an exasperated cry. Then he collapsed to the floor, and finally allowed the tears to fall. He couldn’t help it. He couldn’t keep it to himself anymore. It didn’t matter that he was a Malfoy. The tears came, just the same. He allowed the sobs to escape from him; he had no energy left to fight them.

Narcissa came running into the study. Obviously, he had awakened her with his fit. He continued to sob, without looking up. He wasn’t even aware that she was in the room.

She walked over to him, lowered herself to the floor, and wrapped her arms around his trembling shoulders. “What happened?� she whispered to him.

He looked at her, with confusion in his eyes. It was almost as though he didn’t recognize her. Didn’t recognize his own wife. The look in his eyes scared her, but she did not pull away. Lucius was her husband, and it was her responsibility to take care of him.

“What happened?� she repeated.

Finally, a glint of recognition appeared in his eyes. He knew who she was. He even seemed grateful to have her there.

“I—I killed them,� he told her.

“Killed who?�

“Lily Potter’s parents.�

Narcissa didn’t know or care who Lily Potter was. She just wanted to comfort her husband.

“Was this a task from the Dark Lord?� she asked, as softly as she could manage.

He nodded, and started to sob again.

She held him tightly. “It’s okay,� she whispered into his ear. “It’s over now. It’s just a memory. It can’t hurt you.�

Narcissa had no idea how untrue her words were.