Somebody Beside Me

I watched the rain fall, and listened to the rhythm in which it hit the window pane. I closed my eyes, and cleared my mind of all thought. I knew that if I would think, I would cry. Because it isn't everyday that your father dies. My father, Ryan, had been the one who led me through life. Sure, Mother was always there, but her presence was never as noticeable as Father's. Father had taught me how to walk, while Mother watched from the sidelines. He'd always given me good advice, also when he was away, doing a task that I was not permitted to know its purpose. In his letters he had always told me his views on the dilemma I was debating over internally. No matter how silly my question was, he would always give me a serious answer. But what I always cared about most was his conclusion. There, he would always write one smart saying or another, and then write 'My Daughter Dearest, I wish you all the best in life, and mostly, I wish you always to be loved. And with me around, you always will be. With love, your loving father, Ryan.'

I had received a letter ending like that, just a month ago, just after he had left home to another unknown destination. I had sent him another letter, saying that I love him too, and that he should keep himself safe. But I never received an answer; and he was no longer around to love me, guide me through life. He would never be able to see me graduate from Hogwarts, which was only a month away. He was the one who had led me thus far, and he hadn't even lived to see me reach my goal. He had done all the molding the shaping and the firing, but he hadn't lived to see the final product. He had died when I was in the kiln, in the height of the heat, in the time that mattered most. And he wasn't here to guide me out. No-one was there to guide me out. Mother would be too heart broken to pay attention to me, and no-one else in the world cared about me. I was alone in this final battle. I did not know what to do with my life. I had planned to help my father, and work in his office. But with my father gone, I was helpless to the dangers of the future. I had no-one to stand beside me at battle, to be a part of my troubles alongside me. My father had been the only one with me, and now he was gone.

I wept. I wept for the loss of a great man. I wept for the loss of a brave man. I wept for the loss of a dear, loving father. I curled of in my overstuffed sofa by the window in the Gryffindor common room and wept.

I heard movement behind me. I picked up my head. At the foot of the Boys’ Dormitory stood Benedict Décor, a close friend of mine. I had not told anyone of my father's death. I felt another tear slip down my cheek. He walked over to me, and sat down beside me on the couch. He wiped the tear off my cheek with a gentle finger.

"What's wrong?" he asked in a quiet tone.

"My…" My throat clogged up with tears. Sobs racked my body. I tried to stop but couldn't. Ben hesitantly held me close. I wept into his shoulder. When I had calmed down a little, I tilted my head so that I would be able to talk. "My father was found dead this morning." Ben hugged me tighter to show his sorrow. "Ben, I don't think I can bear this."

"Of course you can, Kayla. You can."

"He was the one who guided me through everything, now no-one will guide me. I am going to get lost in the forest of life, with no life line. There is no one beside me through the dangers. There is no-one in this world who cares enough for me to endanger themselves for my sake."

"That is not true," Ben spoke slowly, quietly. He picked up my face so that he could look in my eyes. "There are people in this world who care for you. Also if you do not see it, you will always have a lifeline composed of love. Even if you do not love this person back, he will love you." I looked into Ben's deep brown eyes. Those eyes opened a door inside me. A door I hadn't opened before. Through the door I saw Ben's qualities, all the qualities I had picked up while being his friend. I loved every one of them. "All I ask is to know whether to wait for you now, or just leave behind a lifeline, in case you need help."

"I want you with me, Ben. Inside the forest with me. I need you to help guide me through it." Ben lowered his mouth to mine, and I was engulfed by his sweet, gentle kiss.

As we broke apart, Ben looked down at me. "I will be there through all the dangers. I'll stick to you, no matter what." I snuggled up to him, and I nearly smiled, though my face was still tear-stained. I had someone beside me. Someone to rely on, to love me. That was all I needed.