Black is the Color of Night
By: Marrianna

Sirius Black plodded heavily up the front walk to the Potter’s house. He was afraid, they were all afraid. Bad news: always expected. Good news: rare. His heart was heavy with fear and his nerves were tight with anticipation. It took forever for him to lift his hand to knock on the door. It was as heavy as lead and he struggled to keep it from dropping back down to his side. With one, resounding rap he knocked on the door and waited for what seemed like eternity till the door slowly opened a crack.

“It’s me,� he rasped out.

The door opened further and his best friend’s face came into view. James Potter had jet-black hair, that was always messy, and laughter filled hazel eyes. But now the laughter was gone, only concern and dread remained.

Sirius slipped inside and waited till James shut the door. The two friends looked at each other and James clapped his hand on Sirius’ shoulder. “Thanks for coming,� he said, and for a second the shadow of fear lifted and an image of a younger, more carefree James appeared; a young man free from worry and distrust, only happiness and joy. But in the blink of an eye, it was gone.

They walked into the kitchen, to see James’ wife, Lily, sitting at the table, holding their new son, Harry. Lily was very beautiful, with vibrant red hair and startling green eyes. She had always been the apple of James’ eye, and only in their last year at Hogwarts had she started to return that affection. In fact, before then, she loathed him. Harry was an exact image of his father, already growing spurts of messy black hair, but his green eyes came from his mother. Sirius had been appointed Harry’s godfather and he was absolutely thrilled and couldn’t wait for the boy to grow up so he could teach him all the tricks and actions of being a marauder. But now was not the time to be wishing and planning such things. This was a serious gathering; he could see it in James’ eyes and Lily’s tired face.

James sat down next to Lily and Sirius sat down across from them, looking at their anxious faces. Lily gave a small smile to Sirius and he nodded. James took a deep breath and said out loud to the room, “We’re going into hiding.�

Sirius started and gaped at the pair of them. “What?!�

“Voldemort is searching for us,� Lily said.

“How do you know?� Sirius asked skeptically.

“Dumbledore,� said James simply.

Sirius struggled with his emotions for a moment before he felt normal again. “So what are you going to do?� he managed to choke out.

“Dumbledore recommended the Fidelius Charm,� Lily said.

Sirius gave a blank stare, showing truly how much time he had spent in his studies.

“It’s an extremely complex spell, that involves the magical concealment of a secret inside a single, living soul,� Lily elaborated. “The information is hidden inside a chosen person, also called the Secret-Keeper, and is henceforth impossible to find, unless, of course, the Secret Keeper chooses to divulge that information.�

Silence fell over the room. James and Lily were both looking at Sirius expectantly.

“And you want me to be your Secret Keeper?� Sirius asked slowly, trying to put two and two together.

“Of course,� said James, making it sound like the most obvious thing in the world.

“Sure, I would love to. I would be highly offended if you chose someone else,� Sirius said and Lily and James exchanged grins.

“Excellent,� said James, standing up. He then turned serious again. “You do know the risk you’re taking though? You’ll have to be very cautious and I wonder if-�.

“James,� Sirius interrupted. “I know what I’m doing, and I wouldn’t change for the world.�

James smiled grimly, “Thanks Padfoot.�

“Yes, thank you, Sirius,� said Lily.

“Let’s do it tomorrow. The sooner, the better,� said James.

*::*::*::*

That night, as Sirius sat alone in his flat, he decided to be daring and fix his own meal. He usually went out to a bar or small restaurant but tonight he opened a drawer and sifted through the musty papers and pulled out an old cookbook that James’ mother had given him years ago. He cracked it open and being even more audacious, selected hotcakes. He opened the fridge and pulled out the eggs and milk. As he was mixing the ingredients, he mused about the day’s events.

He deeply cared for James and Lily’s welfare, as well as his godson’s. He had no problem whatsoever with putting his life in jeopardy for their sake. After all, how many adventures had they shared together on the grounds of Hogwarts? There were times when things got pretty dangerous out there. Why should this be any different? He’d known James since their first year at school. That was also when James had met Lily…

[flashback]

Sirius Black walked down the aisle of the speeding scarlet Hogwarts Express. He couldn’t find an empty compartment anywhere. He had already looked in five and still felt the burning glances of the 7th years in the last one. He usually wasn’t this shy; actually he was quite the opposite. But coming to a new place and having to meet new people, and wondering if they would find out about his horrific family, had put him on the tense side. He peeped timidly inside the next window and saw two boys about his age, sitting inside. He slide open the door and dragged his trunk in after him. A boy with jet-black hair jumped up and helped him put it in storage.

“James Potter,� said the boy, sticking out his hand after they had successfully shoved the trunk in the luggage compartment.

“Sirius Black,� said Sirius, taking the James’ hand.

“This is Remus Lupin,� said James, waving his hand at the quiet boy in the corner. He was very pale and had sandy brown hair. “Is it your first year too?

Sirius nodded and sat down across from James. After a few awkward moments, James’ happy chattering managed to break the ice. Soon the three boys were laughing and goofing off, although Sirius noticed that Remus acted reserved, like he was hiding something, but he shrugged it off. After all, he was hiding stuff too.

Before long a plump lady came by offering them food to buy. James’ bought a bit of everything and the boys sat around eating it all.

“So what house do you think you’re gunna be in?� asked James, grabbing another chocolate frog out of the pile and ripping it open. “I wanna be in Gryffindor!�

Sirius blushed and muttered, “I’ll probably be in Slytherin,� voicing what had been bothering him for ages.

“No way!� James exclaimed. “You wanna be in Slytherin?�

Sirius stared at the floor apparently fascinated with his shoelaces. “I don’t want to, but everybody in my family was, and they expect me to be too.�

James laughed, “I don’t think you’ll be in Slytherin. You’ll be in Gryffindor with me!� Sirius smiled but his nerves were still fluttering unpleasantly. “What about you, Remus?� James asked.

Remus reddened and said in a resigned voice, “I’ll probably be in Hufflepuff.�

“Nah, I predict Ravenclaw. You look pretty smart,� James said, just as the compartment door opened. A small, chubby boy with watery eyes shuffled in.

“Can I sit in here?� he asked, looking around at the occupants.

“Sure. I’m James, this is Sirius, and that’s Remus,� James introduced.

“I’m Peter,� said the boy, taking a seat beside James.

They had just begun on a heated debate about which would be the worst subject, when James suddenly looked out the compartment window. A pretty girl, about their age, was walking past. She had wavy red hair, and when she casually looked in their compartment, Sirius saw startlingly green eyes.
When she had left, James looked around at the other boys. “Who was that?�

“I think her name is Lily Evans. I saw her get on the train,� Peter answered.

“She’s beautiful,� said James, with a rapt expression on his face.

[flashback over]

Sirius grinned in the memory, but jerked out of his reverie, smelling burning food. He quickly grabbed a towel and began beating the smoking hotcake. Eventually the fire alarm shut off and he stared at the burnt ashes in the pan.
Shrugging and admitting that he would never be able to cook, he opened the pantry and brought out a box of cereal. He poured himself a bowl and sat down at the table, happily munching his dinner.

He wished that James would go ahead and perform the charm tonight; but he insisted on waiting till everything was all arranged. Sirius was pleased that James had chosen him first. He wasn’t the most reliable at times, but they were best friends and exceedingly close. Sirius had even gone to live with James when he was 16 because he was so sick of his own family. They were hardly seen without each other there entire career at Hogwarts. So he was the obvious choice for this incredibly vital decision.

Sirius spooned up another bite, but stopped midway to his mouth: ‘…the obvious choice…’

He dropped his spoon, which clattered to the floor and jumped out of his chair. As he ran to the door, he pulled on a coat and quickly Apparated to Godric’s Hollow. He burst inside the house and seconds later saw James running at him with his wand upraised. When he saw it was Sirius, he stopped suddenly. “Padfoot! For Merlin’s sake! What do you think you’re doing?!� James yelled “-scared me and Lily to death! –just bursting in like that! –no knocking or warning-!�

“James, I can’t be your Secret Keeper,� said Sirius, and James shut up. He looked as though someone had slapped him across the face.

“What?� he asked stunned. Lily cautiously made her way into the room to see the cause of all the commotion.

“Don’t you see?� Sirius asked. “I’m the obvious choice! Voldemort will think of me first. And no matter how much I don’t want to, I’m afraid I would betray you under torture.�

“But you’re the one we trust most,� James pointed out.

“I know, but you need someone who will not be the first person Voldemort will go to. Someone whom he will have to think about and maybe never even know you were friends with. It still needs to be someone you trust and a good friend, but not someone who is like a brother to you.�

James stared at the ground.

“What about Moony?� asked Sirius. “You’re close to him and you trust him. Plus he’s the smart one; the dependable, wise old friend. He’d be better than me anyway.�

James and Lily exchanged looks and Sirius stopped short. “What?�

Lily took a deep breath, “We have reason to believe that Remus is the spy.�

Sirius froze in shock. “Moony? No way! He would never…� but he deflated under James’ anguished nod.

Silence fell over the room.

“Well, what about Wormtail then?� Sirius tried again. “I mean really he’s the best choice because he’s so insignificant and is always just tagging along. He’s always in the background. Nobody will suspect him.�

James glanced up and looked Sirius straight in the eye. “Are you sure?� he asked, quietly.

Sirius knew he wasn’t asking about Peter. “James, Lily, you know I would gladly die for you. I’m just afraid that if tortured enough, I would crack, no matter how much I didn’t want to,� he paused. “I couldn’t live with myself if that happened. Please try to understand.�

James searched his face, and then nodded. “I understand.� He had a cheerless smile on his face and Sirius knew he was disappointed, but it would be better this way...

“You’ll contact Peter then?� Sirius asked, rising from his chair.

“Yes, we’ll perform the charm as soon as possible,� James replied, also rising.

The three of the walked to the door, but Sirius stopped before leaving. “James, don’t be angry with me,� he asked with pleading eyes.

James shook his head. “I’m not.� The two men hesitated before pulling each other into a gruff embrace. Sirius kissed Lily on the cheek and nodded to the pair of them. He opened the door and walked out into the black night, not turning back.

*::*::*::*

A week later…

Sirius collapsed onto the couch of his flat. He passed his hands over his eyes and rubbed his temples wearily. It had been an emotional roller coaster these past few days. Peter Pettigrew had been named the Potter’s Secret Keeper and when Lily and James had stopped coming to Order meetings, reality finally caught up to Sirius: James, Lily, and Harry were in grave danger.

He knew where they were so he could go see them anytime, but it would look really suspicious if he kept going to the same place all the time. And he knew people were watching him: Voldemort’s spies. He felt them watching him when his back was turned; even glimpsed them on street corners, following his path with their hooded eyes.

He sighed heavily, wishing it was all over: the fighting, the worry, everything.

Sirius stood up suddenly, he needed to get out; do something. The walls of his flat were closing in on him and he felt suffocated. He wanted to check and see if Peter was okay anyway.

He grabbed his cloak and strode outside into the dark night. A chilly wind blew and Sirius pulled his cloak tighter against the October air. He walked to his motorbike and hopped on. As he flew threw the air, his hair whipped against his face, succeeding in waking him up. A couple minutes later, he landed at Peter’s house. He cautiously walked up the sidewalk. It was quiet; too quiet… Sirius shrugged off his uneasy feelings and determinedly marched up to the door.

He went inside and blinked, his eyes adjusting to the pitch black of the house. He fumbled for his wand and drew it out.

“Lumos,� he muttered, and immediately the room was bathed in light. “Peter!� he called out, but no one answered. His nervous feeling came back in full. What if Peter has been caught and taken to Voldemort? Sirius shuddered and closed his eyes briefly as if praying for his friend’s lost soul. He slowly walked from room to room, not daring to call out anymore in case someone was hiding, ready to attack him at first sight. His hand gripped his wand so hard his fingers were turning white.

But the house was empty. There was no one, good or evil, inside. Yet there was no sign of any struggle…

A sick sensation started in Sirius’ stomach and he started breathing hard, even though he had no exertion. This didn’t feel right at all. Something was wrong, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. Peter should be here, it wasn’t safe for him to be out like this. Suddenly it dawned in him. Peter hadn’t needed a struggle; he went out of his own free will…

“PETER!� Sirius screamed angrily. He was out of the house, running blindly in the dark toward his bike. He heard the engine start and he sped into the air. A choking feeling was in his throat and his mouth was dry. He shook his head. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he was reading way too much into this, there could be other explanations. But he knew in his heart what had happened: Peter had betrayed them.

He tried not to look, but unconsciously, his eyes were scanning the ground below him, searching, but hoping not to find. And then he saw it: a large skull with a snake protruding out of its mouth, hovering over the remains of the home.

He landed quickly and froze as he met the scene before him, his stomach felt sick. The house was completely destroyed. Rubble was everywhere, littered by bits of furniture and household items. His eyes were going dark and he vaguely saw James and Lily with lifeless staring eyes and Rubeus Hagrid standing nearby, but he couldn’t see anymore for the tears obscuring his vision. He finally broke down, collapsing onto the ground, covering his face with his hands. He sobbed, not worrying about who else might see. He didn’t know how long he stayed like that, and he didn’t care. With great internal effort he slowly picked himself up off the ground.

Hagrid was walking toward him, with a bundle in his arms. Sirius began to shake uncontrollably and his whole body felt numb. He held trembling arms out to Hagrid.

“Give Harry to me, Hagrid, I’m his godfather, I’ll look after him-�

Hagrid shook his head, and wiped tears away with the back of his hand. “No, Dumbledore said he was ter go ter his aunt an’ uncle’s.�

“But I’m his godfather! I’m the one James and Lily wanted to take care of their son,� Sirius argued.

“Sorry, but I got my directions from Dumbledore,� Hagrid sniffed.

Sirius fell silent, struggling inwardly with himself. “Here, Hagrid, take my motorbike to get Harry there. I won’t need it anymore.�

“Yer…yer sure?� he asked hesitantly.

Sirius nodded and suppressed a shudder, “Yea.� He turned abruptly and resolutely kept his face straight ahead as he walked by James and Lily. He could feel Hagrid’s curious eyes following him, but he didn’t care. He was going to get revenge.

*::*::*::*

The alley was dark and Sirius was grateful for the cover. He was scanning the faces of people walking by for the familiar face. Suddenly he spotted a small hunched-over figure hustle past. Sirius slipped out of the shadows and followed silently.

Peter glanced behind him and saw Sirius trailing him. He quickened his pace but Sirius kept up easily. Peter jogged, but slowed down to a stop when a large building loomed up in front of him. Business people were casually walking along the sidewalk with their briefcases in tow and couples were sitting on benches, waiting for who knows what.

Peter slowly turned around and faced his old friend. Fake tears were rolling down his pudgy cheeks. “Lily and James, Sirius! How could you?� he sobbed.

Several people looked at them curiously as they strolled past and some stared openly.

Sirius gaped at people, utterly at a lost. Then it dawned on him. He watched as Peter drew out his wand and Sirius whipped his out also, but it was too late. He had just raised his wand when the street blew up beneath him. Sirius was thrown off his feet and landed some feet away. He rolled himself up into a ball and covered his head with his arms as debris and rubble came crashing down. People were screaming and sirens began going off.

Sirius struggled to his feet and looked wildly about him. People lay dead in the street, but Peter was nowhere to be seen. He limped over to where the traitor had stood, but saw only blood stained robes laying by the sewage opening. He stared at them, and then Sirius started laughing. The maniacal, crazed laughter of a man who knew he was doomed; knew he had been outsmarted and there was no more hope for him; no escape.

A series of popping noises sounded and Ministry officials appeared out of thin air. Aurors circled him like he was a mad dog and unpredictable; but he let them lead him away without a struggle. He was condemned; it was all over for him. Or so he thought…