The door creaked open as Remus stepped inside. He hadn’t been back to Grimmauld Place since that night. He quietly made his way upstairs to his room. He needed to collect a few things before setting off on his new mission. He peaked into various rooms as he passed. He doubted anyone had been back since that night, as everything looked the same. There were books on the floor in the library, just where he had dropped them when Snape’s message came through. As he passed another room, he saw that the chess set was still set up, waiting for he and Sirius to return to it. He blinked back a few tears at the thought. Now was not the time to get emotional. He needed to get out as soon as possible. He wished that he could just leave everything here, like the others were planning. The others, however, had not been living here full time and most had a bit more income than he did currently.

A few more steps and he reached his room. The door creaked as he opened it. Even in just the few weeks of disuse, the room smelled musty again. He glanced quickly around, mentally locating the few necessities that he had come back for. That’s when he noticed it. Her presence. It was gone.

Remus and Tonks had become quite close in the few months that they had known one another. She was always hanging around Grimmauld Place, keeping Sirius company in her spare time. She said that she wanted to get to know the cousin that her mother had always gushed about. She and Remus had been paired up on almost all of their order missions as well. It was an odd pairing, at first, but the more he got to know her, the more he wanted to be around her. She was a damned determined ray of sunshine in this house. She made life here worth living.

Remus shook these thoughts out of his head. He couldn’t think about that now. He had made his decision. He transfigured a candlestick into a bag and started pulling his few belongings out of the drawers. When he opened the second drawer, he was taken aback. Against the faded grey and tattered brown jumpers, the brand new pink blouse glared out at him. Without thinking, he brushed his fingers against the soft fabric.

“We aren’t that different, you and I,” he remembered her saying.

He gasped, pulling his hand away from the offending item. He looked up and could swear that he saw her standing there, just as she was that day, looking incredibly confident and beautiful, with her Weird Sisters t-shirt and ripped jeans, her pink hair spiking up in all directions.

“The money is material and doesn’t matter. The age is inconsequential and you know it. And as for your lycanthropy,” her gaze dropped, then met his again with determination. “We can do this, Remus.”

“Please,” he whispered aloud. “I can’t remember this today.”
Her voice faded as he swallowed back his emotions. Right now, just this once, he would admit it. His missed her in-your-face hair and attitude. He missed her innocent good nature. He missed the way she smiled, and made him smile in return. He missed…her. He closed his eyes for a moment, reminded himself that he wasn’t supposed to miss her, and then continued packing. When he had finished, he shrunk the bag and put it in his pocket. He took one last look around the room, and all he could see was the glaring absence of her things. Her gloves usually ended up somewhere on the desk, a t-shirt on the floor, her nightshirt on the bed. They didn’t share a bed, or even a room, but her things somehow always ended up in here. Remus sighed, then closed the door and started down the steps.

When he reached the front door, he took one last look around the house. For all he knew, this would be the last time he’d ever see it. While the circumstances in which they had all come to live here weren’t the best, some of the best times he’d had in recent years occurred in this house and he was sorry to leave it. He savoured the feeling of a solid roof over his head and a relatively warm house for a few more moments. He was going underground to live with his kind, the werewolves, and who knew when he would be in a place like this next?

He turned to the front door and closed his eyes just before turning the knob.

“Goodbye Sirius,” he whispered. “You deserved better than this.” He opened the door and stepped out into the early morning light. “And Nymphadora deserves better than me.”

Remus tripped and stumbled over an errant root that stuck up out of the ground. He quickly regained his footing and looked around, making sure that not one saw him lurking behind Madam Puddifoot’s. He wasn’t even sure where the Aurors’ were living here in Hogsmeade. All he knew was that after the night he had, he needed a friendly face, and Tonks’ face was as friendly as they come.



All day he had been raging war within himself over coming here. First, it would put her in terrible danger. If the other werewolves followed him, discovered where he was going…well the consequences were too awful for him to imagine. On the other hand, he was in dire need of some patching up, and he just couldn’t bring himself to go to Molly. He finally resolved to find her first, assess the situation, then decide on approaching her.



He knew that he shouldn’t be there, really. Even without all the other dangers, their relationship was in too precarious a position to be showing up like this. He couldn’t give her hope of there being something more between them, no matter how much he regretted ending things before they began. He couldn’t reconcile to himself the fact that she deserved so much better than him.



But he also couldn’t stay away.



Remus was pulled out of his thoughts by drops of water hitting his head. Within seconds, the weather had turned to an outright downpour and he was drenched. He stared up at the sky, thinking back to a similar day, almost a year ago, when he was on an assignment with Tonks…



“Tonks, we need to get under some sort of cover!” he hissed as drops of water ran down his face and dripped off his nose.



She grinned. “What’s the point? We can’t get any wetter than this!” Her expression became serious. “And besides, didn’t we already determine that this was the best position to conduct our surveillance?”



“It wasn’t pouring down rain at the time. Now we look suspicious.”



She glanced around the empty street. “And where exactly do you suggest we go?”



She was right. There was nowhere else to go. If they found cover, they would lose sight of their target. But if they stayed, it was obvious that they were watching and waiting for something. Before Remus could reply, the door to the building they were watching swung open.



Tonks jumped into his arms and whispered, “Play along.” Then she kissed him.



At this point, all rational thought became impossible.



After a few moments, she broke away and started saying something, but Remus couldn’t hear a word she said. The kiss just kept replaying over and over in his head, and he cursed the raindrops that hit his lips and washed the feeling of her kiss away. Suddenly, she grabbed his hand and started pulling him down the street. Apparently, she was still thinking of their assignment. Good thing one of them was.



They ended up following their target into a store where, unfortunately, they were spotted. The supposed Death Eater apparently recognized them from outside his building and started to come over to them. Thinking quickly, Remus grabbed Tonks from behind and kissed her temple, whispering into her ear, “Play along.” He then spun her around and kissed her properly for a moment. Under the guise of an amorous couple, they wove through the racks of clothing and avoided their target by ducking into a changing room. Once inside, their bodies were so close that Remus could feel her body heat even through their multiple layers of wet clothing.



“Nice save,” she whispered. “Although it makes me wonder if you’ve done this before…”



“Remus?”



The voice ripped Remus out of his reverie and back into the present, where a very shaken Tonks stood before him. Her hair was mousy brown and chin length, matted to her head and face with rain. Her clothing was unremarkable, without the bright colours and designs that he was used to seeing on her. The worst was her eyes. They were bloodshot and swollen, with very dark circles underneath. She looked like hell, but she was still the happiest sight he’d had in months.



“I shouldn’t be here,” was all he could manage to say to her.



“No you shouldn’t,” she replied. She stepped forward and hugged him. “But I’m glad you are. Are you alright?” She pulled back from the embrace, but did not release her grip in his arms. “Of course you’re not, you wouldn’t be here otherwise. Let’s get you inside.”



“What’s the point? We can’t get any wetter than this.”



She smiled sadly. “The point is that I have hot food, dry clothes, and a real bed.”



“I just wanted to let you know that I’m alright. I don’t want you to �“ ”



“Remus, first and foremost, you are my friend. No matter what.”



He stared at her, stunned. He didn’t expect this from her at all. He expected her to start fighting him again, asking him to reconsider. Had she finally moved on? Or was she just too tired to fight? He allowed her to guide him down the street and up into her new flat. It was small, with only a few pieces of furniture, but very warm. She deposited him gently on the couch and he gratefully sank into the soft cushions, only vaguely aware that he was still soaking wet and probably ruining the upholstery. When she returned to the room, she had changed into dry clothes and was holding out clothing for him. He took it from her hands with a word of thanks, but hesitated before standing up again. He just had to know.



“Tonks?” She turned around to look at him. “This isn’t what I expected from you.”



“You were expecting me to leave you in the rain?”



“You know that’s not what I mean.”



“I know.” There was a long moment of silence before she continued. It was one of the longest moments of Remus’ life. “Do you know where I just came from, Remus?” He shook his head no. She nodded, then continued. “I was up at the castle. I’ve been hearing…horrific stories. I wanted to know if you were okay. I even asked Harry if he’d heard from you. I was so afraid that you were hurt or…Then you showed up, and you weren’t an illusion.” She smiled, although it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I guess I’m just too relieved to rehash the same old argument.”



Remus nodded slowly, then began to walk towards her bathroom to change into the clothes she’d handed him.



“I’ll have some food ready for you in a minute,” she said as he walked away. “Oh and Remus,” she called as he was about to leave the room, “don’t think that this means I’ve given up on you.”

“Don’t think this means I’ve given up on you.”

Her words rang through his head for months. She hadn’t given up. Grown up, maybe, but not given up. And the way she had looked after him, without uncomfortable questions or gasps of horror when she saw his new wounds and old scars; it all just made him want to reconsider everything.

Not that he was sure he’d ever get the chance. He had just learned that an attack on Hogwarts would take place in a few hours. His messages to Dumbledore had so far gone unanswered, and Remus was beginning to wonder if he should abandon his assignment to warn Harry and the others at the castle. Leaving now meant compromising his cover and abandoning any further information that could be gained from this group. Remus had long ago given up on trying to convert them; they were too far gone.

The others started moving. It was time. Greyback’s followers would be travelling to the castle on foot. As Greyback turned away from the group, Remus saw his opening and took it, ducking behind a tree. As he struggled to pull his wand out of its hiding place, he felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder. He whipped around.

“Where do you think you’re going?” snarled a young witch. Remus didn’t know her name, but knew that she had recently been bitten.

He smacked her hand away from him and replied, “Get your paws off me and mind your business,” with as much venom as he could muster. He must have been convincing enough, because her eyes widened and she scurried away to join the rest of the pack. Remus quickly pulled his wand out and Apparated to Hogsmeade.

He arrived just outside of Tonks’ flat. If they both made it out of this alive, he vowed to set things right between them. He banged on the door, praying that she was home. The door flew open and Remus found himself being dragged inside. After a quick explanation, they were both running for the castle. As they finally entered, a large explosion shook the building. They looked at one another, knowing that their warning had come too late.

“Tonks, find McGonagall!”

“Where are you going?”

“To find Harry!”

“Remus �“ ”

“Tonks, just go!” His expression softened. If something happened to her, he would never forgive himself. He stepped forward and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Be careful.” She nodded and they both turned to run in separate directions.

While running towards Gryffindor Tower, Remus ran right into Ron Weasley �“ literally.

“Ron!”

“Professor Lupin! Wow, that was fast! How did you get here so �“ ”

“Ron, where’s Harry?”

He shrugged. “Went somewhere with Professor Dumbledore earlier tonight. Had me and Hermione and a few other DA members patrolling all night until he got back.”

Remus closed his eyes. Harry knew that something would happen tonight and was right on the money. If only they could all learn to listen to him.

“Okay, follow me.”

A few minutes later, the battle was raging. Most of the Order showed up promptly after the alarm was sounded, and they weren’t doing too badly. Remus was attempting to watch for Tonks’, but between the persistent Death Eater threat and her current lack of vibrant hair, this task was becoming increasingly difficult. He easily rolled away from an Incendio and thanked his lucky stars that these Death Eaters had really bad aim. He really didn’t want to add burns to his current scars and bruises. After a carefully aimed Stupefy or two, his area was cleared of threats. He went to bind up the unconscious attackers when he heard more people entering the area. Just as he was turning, he heard and huge crash and was pulled to the floor.

He hit the floor with force, but quickly regained his senses and struck back at the person lying on his back with his right elbow. The two rolled behind the rumble that remained of a pillar. Remus regained the upper hand and was about retaliate against his assailant when he realized. The person who hit him was Tonks.

“You have a mighty fine right hook there, Professor. You’ll have to teach me that one later. Now if I’m done saving your ass, I have some Death Eaters to attend to.”

Despite himself, Remus smiled. “By all means.”

***

Dumbledore was really…gone.

Remus could hardly breathe. After Tonks’ outburst in the hospital wing, Remus quietly excused himself and ran for the nearest exit. Before he knew it, he found himself under the tree by the lake where he and his fellow Marauders found themselves so many times over the years. He needed time to digest this. After all of his careful planning and precautions, this was the one contingency that he had never prepared for. Maybe it was because Dumbledore seemed indestructible. Or maybe it was just because no one ever wanted to admit that Dumbledore was mortal like everyone else.

And Tonks. Remus closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the tree. What to do about Tonks? He loved her, he knew that for sure. And she made it very clear �“ to everyone �“ that she still cared for him. But if tonight taught him anything, it was that anyone could die at any time. There were no guarantees that they would survive this.

But if Dumbledore had taught him anything, it was to live life to the fullest because anything could happen at anytime.

“Remus?”

He opened his eyes and saw the formerly pink-haired Auror standing in front of him.

“I’m sorry. I…I shouldn’t have gone off like that in front of everyone. It’s just…I don’t…I don’t know what to do here.” Her eyes turned to the lake for a moment while she paused, then her eyes snapped back to his like magnets. “I’m sorry.”

He stood up and shook his head. “No. I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath. “Nymphadora, you deserve so much better than me.”

Her face changed from apologetic to determined, but not cold, and she shook her head. “Can’t you see? To me, there is nothing better than you.”

Remus closed his eyes and touched his forehead to hers. “That was your last out.” He felt her brow knit with confusion.

“Pardon?”

He smiled down at her. “Now you’re stuck with me.”

Her eyes lit up like she had just gotten a new puppy (although, in a way, she did). “Really?”

He nodded.

“AHH!” she screamed and jumped into his arms. They spun around laughing and collapsed in a heap next to the tree. After they caught their breath, Tonks looked over at Remus.

“Do you think this is okay? Laughing like this, being happy so soon after…” Her voice trailed off, not willing to say the words just yet.

Remus stared into her eyes for a moment then turned his eyes to the sky. “I don’t think Dumbledore would want anyone to mourn him. He always saw death as the next great adventure.”

Tonks frowned. “I’m not sure that will stop me from missing him.”

“But that won’t stop you from being happy…will it?”

Tonks shot upright and spun to look down at Remus. “Have you met me?”

Remus laughed and pulled her down close to him again. “Yes,” he said, placing a light kiss at her temple. “Yes, I believe I have.”